WEBVTT

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♪ (music) ♪

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♪ Who, stole my heart away ♪

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♪ Who, makes me dream all day ♪

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♪ Dreams I know can never be true ♪

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♪ Seems as though I'll ever be blue ♪

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♪ Who, means my happiness ♪

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♪ Who, would I answer yes to ♪

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♪ Well, you ought to guess who ♪

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♪ No one but you ♪

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♪ (crescendo) ♪

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♪ ( diminuendo) ♪

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♪ (Welcome gong and trumpets) ♪
(Hamlet playing)

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(King Claudius)
Welcome, dear Rosencrantz and Guildenstern

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Moreover that we much did long to see you,

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The need we have to use you did provoke

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Our hasty sending.

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Something have you heard

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Of Hamlet’s transformation;

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so call it,

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Sith, nor the exterior nor the inward man

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Resembles that it was.

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What it should be,

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More than his father’s death,

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that thus hath put him

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So much from the understanding of himself,

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I cannot dream of:

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I entreat you both,

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That, being of so young days
brought up with him,

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And sith so neighbor'd
to his youth and humor,

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That you vouchsafe
your rest here in our court

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Some little time: so by your companies
- Sit properly. It's a theater, not a pub.

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To draw him on to pleasures,
and to gather,

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So much as from occasion you may glean,

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Whether aught, unknown to us,

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afflicts him thus,

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That, open'd,

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lies within our remedy.

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(Queen Gertrude) Good gentlemen,
- Excuse me, madam.

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he hath much talk'd of you;
[russian]

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And sure I am two men there is not living

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To whom he more adheres.
(inaudible)

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If it will please you

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To show us so much gentry and goodwill

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As to expend your time with us awhile,

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For the supply and profit of our hope,

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Your visitation shall receive such thanks

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As fits a king’s remembrance. 
(thinks) Somebody's just walking out...

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(Rosencratz) Both your majesties, might
by the sovereign power you have of us,

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Put your dread pleasures more into command

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Than to entreaty.

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(Guildenstern) But we both obey,
And here give up ourselves, in full bent

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What a pleasure in this day and age to
hear the language so beautifully spoken.

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(Guildenstern)
To be commanded.

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Dear, dear, I'm not walking out.
I just have to go for a piss, you see.

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(Gertrude)Thanks,
gentle Guildenstern and Rosencrantz

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And I beseech you instantly

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Wait and listen.

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(Gertrude) Go some of you,
And bring these gentlemen where Hamlet is.

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(Guildenstern) Heavens make our presence
and practices pleasant and helpful to him!

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(Clearing throat)

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(footsteps)

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Going to the… excuse me.

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Hmm..

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Gosh!

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What is this? This is shameful.

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What is this?

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(footsteps)

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♪ Our hope for years to come ♪

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♪ Our shelter from the stormy blast ♪

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♪ And our eternal home. ♪

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♪ Before the hills in order stood ♪

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No soap.

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There's never any soap!

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(Russian): There is no soap, why?

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(Russian):
We weren't given soap, that's why!

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Do I want to be sick?

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Huh?

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No, no, not yet.

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Hmm.

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You know,

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you remind me of a stalker I once knew.

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♪ (Music) ♪

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(Applause)

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(door being opened)

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♪ (soft music) ♪

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(Guy Burgess) My dear lady,

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I do assure you,

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one is an old friend of the leading actor.

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We were at Cambridge together.

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Young men together at university.

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They've come such a long way
one simply must

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put one's head around the door.

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(Russian): Your pass, please.
Otherwise, you won't get in.

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My Pass? Well, my Pass...

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I'm sure I'm not the first person

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to remark on your pronounced resemblance
to the late Ernest Bevin.

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It is most striking.

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You could be sisters.

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Yes shocking like this, I know...
but quite amusing. Mmm-hmm.

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Do I look such a tremendous villain?

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And a special news.
- (Russian): Your light bulb's burned out.

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Oh, uh, do hurry....
One is not feeling at all well.

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Oh, dear.Thank you.
(clears throat)

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(buzzer rings)

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Thank you.
(coughs)

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(door closing)

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♪ (music) ♪

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♪ (unsettling music) ♪

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(muffled nausea)

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(sigh)

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The drink, the drink.

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(pukes)

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(door bangs)

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It is the drink!

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(pukes)

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Aren't you feeling well?

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(clears throat)

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Yes, thank you.

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I am perfectly all right.
(pukes again)

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Well, I'll get the woman.

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(knocking on the door)

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I'm in a French faux.

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Oh, run that tap, for God's sake.

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Oh, yes.

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I wouldn't care,
but it's only the interval.

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If you want to come round and be sick

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you might at least save it
for the end of the performance.

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Oh!

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Pears soap!

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Who are you?

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And who is that boy outside?

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Boy?

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Outside?

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(footsteps)

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I don't know.

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I haven't seen that one before.

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Could I have one of these?

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(sighs)

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I love your frock.

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You're very rude.
Are you from the embassy?

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Not exactly.

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Well, there can't be many other Englishmen
in Moscow, who are you?

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I was at Cambridge with Hamlet.

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Well, why don't we tell him you're here?

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He's only down the corridor.

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All in good time.

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The question is, you see...
Are we as welcome as ever?

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I know your face.

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Craven A,

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for your throat's sake.

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Mmm.

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Are you enjoying the play?

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I'm adoring it.

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I like the local Laertes.

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He goes rather well into times.

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Yes, that's what he thinks.

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It looks as if he's put a couple of 
King Edwards down there.

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(laughs)

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How do you like Moscow?

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Oh, I loathe it, darling.

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I cannot understand
what those Three Sisters are on about.

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It gives the play a very sinister slant.

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Act II begins, please.

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Ah, a drink would help.

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Begin Act II, please.

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Don't you think you've had enough?

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All right.

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If you're not at the embassy,
what do you do?

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I liaise.

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Are you press?

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Sort of.

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Ahhh!

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You're not feeling sick again?

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Don't know, uh, think I am, rather

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Oh, God!

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A lesson I've learned in life
is that when one is sick

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it's always in threes.
(3 knocks)

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Your call please, Miss Browne.

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Yes, here it comes.

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(pukes)

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Oh, God!
(pukes)

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I'll send somebody in.

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(banging)

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Miss Browne, your call!

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I must go.

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Oh God!

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Do try to feel better.

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And go home.

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Yes.
(pukes again)

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♪ (music) ♪

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(door opening)

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♪ (music) ♪

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(door closing)

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♪ (music) ♪

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- Oh, I'm terribly...
- I'm a sloppy one. (russian)

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Guy.

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Guy!

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(Hamlet)
...his own petard: and 't shall go hard.

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But I will delve
one yard below their mines,

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And blow them at the moon:
(whispering)

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When in one line two crafts directly meet.
(whispering)

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(inaudible) I am delighted, good.

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Quiet please, shhh.

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This man must set me packing:

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I'll lug the guts into the neighbour room.

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Mother, good night.

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Indeed...

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this counsellor

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Is now most still, most secret
and most grave,

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Where is Charles?

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(Hamlet) Who was in life

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a foolish prating knave.

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Come, sir,

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to draw toward an end with you.

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You're cutting fine, darling.

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Guess who I've just seen
coming down the corridor?

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Who?

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Guy Burgess.

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Who?

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Guy Burgess, dear.

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The spy.

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The missing diplomat.

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♪ (music) ♪

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Ah, my good lord,
what have I seen tonight!

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What, Gertrude? How does Hamlet?

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Guy Burgess?

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How does Hamlet?

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Mad as the sea...

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Mad as the seas and wind when both contend
Which is the mightier:

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in his lawless fit,
Behind the arras hearing something stir,

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Whips out his rapier, cries,
"A rat, a rat!"

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And, in his brainish apprehension, kills
The unseen good old man.

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(King Claudius) Oh, heavy deed!

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It had been so with us had we been there.

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His liberty is full of threats to all;

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To you yourself, to us, to everyone.

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♪ (music) ♪

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(applause)

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- Why?
- No!

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I don't want my mind broadened.

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I'd not eat cabbage for breakfast at home.
Why'd I eat it here?

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Well, it's good that I like beetroot,

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Otherwise I'd be reduced to
skin and bones.

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Do not push, Madam.

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Mum must be the word, truly.

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Why?

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Well, we don't want anyone
ringing "The Express."

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Give way.

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If anyone's going to eat tonight,
knock on my door.

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He's got fatter.

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You knew him?

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Oh, I used to run across him years ago,

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the way one does, you know...

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You're rather that way, aren't you?

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What way?

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Left.

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Oh. I was. Everyone was in those days.

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I like him.

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Despite the fact
that he was sick in my basin.

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Really?

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Bags of charm.

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Yes.

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But you're right, I wouldn't set
The Express on my worst enemy.

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Drink?

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I'd love one.

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It's gone!

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My drink!

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My cigarettes!

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My soap!

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That stinker!

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Bags of charm...

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(keys clinking)

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Thank you.

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(footsteps)

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Nightcap?

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Please!

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(door opening)

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Hot, hot, hot.

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Is your room hotter?

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Boiling!

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I'm sure it's all part of the cold war...

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(footsteps)

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(tap running)

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No plug.

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(paper rustling)

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Secret store. Hmm hmm.

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(cupboard being closed)

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(footsteps... glass clinking)

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Oh!

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(glasses being placed on the table)

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Have you found any bugs?

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Come again?

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Bugs!

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Have you found any bugs?

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Bugs? No, mine's very clean.

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(glasses clinking)

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Oh.

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Wonderful rooms!

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Every convenience.

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All same.

00:14:39.081 --> 00:14:41.561
I have but one complaint.

00:14:41.771 --> 00:14:43.682
Oh, what is that, pray?

00:14:44.251 --> 00:14:46.442
Well, in view of the splendid achievements

00:14:46.442 --> 00:14:48.878
of the Union of
Soviet Socialist Republics...

00:14:49.621 --> 00:14:52.977
I think, at least, they might want to...
a plug for the base...

00:14:53.047 --> 00:14:55.216
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

00:14:55.216 --> 00:14:55.984
What?

00:14:59.341 --> 00:15:03.070
It's like playing Private lives
to a Wednesday matinee in Oldham.

00:15:03.265 --> 00:15:04.265
Ha ha ha ha...

00:15:05.091 --> 00:15:06.501
I'll tell you something else.

00:15:06.501 --> 00:15:07.221
Mmm?

00:15:07.988 --> 00:15:09.979
You can go off caviar.

00:15:10.080 --> 00:15:12.360
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...

00:15:21.510 --> 00:15:23.550
(note being slid under the door)

00:15:42.528 --> 00:15:44.268
(creaking of a door being closed)

00:15:44.741 --> 00:15:45.855
Who came?

00:15:46.648 --> 00:15:48.208
(Russian): I don't understand.

00:15:50.419 --> 00:15:51.729
(Russian): Just a moment!

00:15:57.445 --> 00:16:03.645
(footsteps)

00:16:09.073 --> 00:16:10.333
(Russian): Here you are.

00:16:15.471 --> 00:16:16.506
Thank you.

00:16:17.259 --> 00:16:20.819
(footsteps receding)

00:16:21.511 --> 00:16:23.031
(plug being fixed)

00:16:23.502 --> 00:16:31.741
(running water)

00:16:31.983 --> 00:16:45.839
♪ (music) ♪

00:16:46.260 --> 00:16:47.090
(cups clinking)

00:16:47.495 --> 00:17:10.557
♪ (music) ♪

00:17:10.557 --> 00:17:11.557
(in Russian...)

00:17:11.557 --> 00:17:13.577
I can't do anything, there's no last name.

00:17:13.577 --> 00:17:15.506
How did I send you a letter then?

00:17:15.506 --> 00:17:16.976
I didn't receive your letter.

00:17:16.976 --> 00:17:18.166
So what should I do?

00:17:18.166 --> 00:17:20.323
I don't really care.

00:17:20.323 --> 00:17:21.833
It's always like this with you.

00:17:22.441 --> 00:17:24.737
Please, how do I get there?

00:17:29.349 --> 00:17:32.029
(Russian): Vera Ivanovna, 
have you got such an address?

00:17:32.745 --> 00:17:35.665
(Russian): No, I don't know. 
Just a minute, I'll take a look.

00:17:35.791 --> 00:17:38.537
Well, somebody must be able
to tell me how to get there.

00:17:50.079 --> 00:17:52.619
(Russian): 
There is no such address. I don't know.

00:17:52.691 --> 00:17:53.833
This is ridiculous.

00:17:53.833 --> 00:17:56.999
Haven't you got 
a street directory, an A to Z?

00:17:56.999 --> 00:18:00.230
(Russian): What are you talking about? 
I don't understand anything!

00:18:00.411 --> 00:18:01.722
Can I get a taxi?

00:18:01.722 --> 00:18:02.450
No taxi.

00:18:02.991 --> 00:18:03.975
Do you have trouble?

00:18:04.458 --> 00:18:05.318
Oh no.

00:18:05.629 --> 00:18:06.349
No.

00:18:09.841 --> 00:18:10.637
Taxi!

00:18:10.641 --> 00:18:11.361
Ta—

00:18:12.069 --> 00:18:21.509
♪ (music) ♪

00:18:21.509 --> 00:18:22.735
(Russian): Hot pies!

00:18:23.746 --> 00:18:25.342
(Russian): Hot pies, hot pies!

00:18:27.676 --> 00:18:29.576
(Russian): Hot pies, hot pies!

00:18:31.448 --> 00:18:32.858
(Russian): What kind of pies?

00:18:32.939 --> 00:18:33.939
(Russian): Meat pies.

00:18:35.071 --> 00:18:37.724
Excuse me, do you know where this is?

00:18:37.752 --> 00:18:39.932
(Russian): 
I don't know, go to the embassy.

00:18:40.271 --> 00:18:41.046
Thank you.

00:18:41.253 --> 00:18:42.271
(Russian): Hot pies!

00:18:43.001 --> 00:18:44.001
(Russian): Hot pies!

00:18:44.341 --> 00:18:45.301
(Russian): Hot pies!

00:18:45.301 --> 00:18:55.948
♪ (music) ♪

00:18:56.184 --> 00:19:06.994
♪ (upbeat music) ♪

00:19:07.017 --> 00:19:13.810
♪ (increase in tempo of music) ♪

00:19:15.271 --> 00:19:18.296
I just want to know where the place is.
How do I get there?

00:19:19.395 --> 00:19:21.363
I thought that's what embassies were for.

00:19:21.521 --> 00:19:24.417
You have to remember,
the gentleman in question was a spy.

00:19:24.911 --> 00:19:26.773
In England he'd be languishing in jail.

00:19:26.861 --> 00:19:29.500
You'd rather, languishing here actually.
Ha!

00:19:30.870 --> 00:19:34.001
(clickety-clack of a typewriter)

00:19:34.001 --> 00:19:35.369
Bring a tape measure.

00:19:36.431 --> 00:19:37.500
Bring a tape measure?

00:19:37.911 --> 00:19:40.716
Mr Burgess has asked me to lunch.

00:19:41.651 --> 00:19:42.646
With a tape measure?

00:19:42.718 --> 00:19:43.848
Watching his waistline.

00:19:44.081 --> 00:19:47.386
Well, you can't stop me
from going to lunch. It's a free country.

00:19:48.071 --> 00:19:48.839
Rather, it is.

00:19:49.751 --> 00:19:50.541
Have lunch here.

00:19:50.991 --> 00:19:51.813
It's Tuesday.

00:19:52.063 --> 00:19:53.494
It's Kedgeree, it's delicious!

00:19:53.671 --> 00:19:56.423
It's Tuesday Tessa, Kedgeree!

00:19:59.191 --> 00:20:01.264
Tessa doesn't think we take her seriously.

00:20:02.501 --> 00:20:03.802
Was he a chum of yours?

00:20:04.531 --> 00:20:07.754
He popped by my dressing room
last night and threw up in the basin.

00:20:08.221 --> 00:20:10.060
It was love at first sight.

00:20:10.361 --> 00:20:12.028
First impressions are always best.

00:20:12.571 --> 00:20:14.577
You never had any contact with him before?

00:20:15.051 --> 00:20:15.776
No.

00:20:15.811 --> 00:20:18.341
You didn't meet him
when he was at the Foreign Office?

00:20:18.341 --> 00:20:19.096
No.

00:20:19.171 --> 00:20:20.090
On the BBC?

00:20:20.295 --> 00:20:21.025
No.

00:20:21.351 --> 00:20:22.604
What about Maclean?

00:20:23.462 --> 00:20:24.462
No!

00:20:24.671 --> 00:20:27.359
Odd he should come
into your dressing room!

00:20:27.711 --> 00:20:29.511
Ladies aren't exactly his like.

00:20:29.921 --> 00:20:30.921
Are they yours?

00:20:31.661 --> 00:20:34.617
Of course, if all he wanted
was to be sick, that would figure.

00:20:35.151 --> 00:20:37.723
He was coming around
to see one of the actors.

00:20:37.961 --> 00:20:38.768
Which one?

00:20:39.370 --> 00:20:41.851
You're not being paid
for The Daily Express, are you?

00:20:41.851 --> 00:20:43.753
They're very keen to get a hold of him.

00:20:43.911 --> 00:20:46.488
I should give up the idea.
Have lunch with us. Come on.

00:20:46.731 --> 00:20:49.451
I have no intention of having
lunch with you.

00:20:50.256 --> 00:20:52.309
He has asked me to call.

00:20:52.467 --> 00:20:57.154
(clickety-clack of a typewriter)

00:20:57.265 --> 00:20:58.521
Do you know where this is?

00:20:58.948 --> 00:21:01.490
Oh, Tessa does not know, do you, Tessa?

00:21:01.660 --> 00:21:02.854
Tessa's such a skinny.

00:21:03.934 --> 00:21:05.893
Tessa's ambition is just marking time

00:21:05.893 --> 00:21:08.555
until her face is on the front page
of Country Life

00:21:08.645 --> 00:21:10.234
after the advertisements

00:21:10.774 --> 00:21:11.812
for gateleg tables.

00:21:13.902 --> 00:21:19.512
(clickety-clack of a typewriter)

00:21:19.612 --> 00:21:20.791
Stalin is dead.

00:21:22.422 --> 00:21:23.838
Exchanges are taking place.

00:21:24.183 --> 00:21:25.741
You, the Old Vic.

00:21:26.394 --> 00:21:27.801
Not overtures, I admit.

00:21:27.927 --> 00:21:30.281
But the tuning up,
preparatory to the overtures...

00:21:30.965 --> 00:21:33.894
For the first time in 10 years,
we're on speaking terms.

00:21:34.671 --> 00:21:36.295
Our friends, the foe,

00:21:37.088 --> 00:21:38.698
are just beginning to play ball.

00:21:38.741 --> 00:21:41.525
We don't want them
to take that bat home, do we?

00:21:41.811 --> 00:21:44.490
Burgess and Maclean,
they're yesterday's breakfast.

00:21:45.221 --> 00:21:48.282
We wanted to get them,
the Russians want to forget them.

00:21:49.641 --> 00:21:52.142
The thing is,
we do not want any fuss at this point.

00:21:52.431 --> 00:21:53.234
No scenes.

00:21:54.351 --> 00:21:55.510
This is grown-up stuff.

00:21:55.661 --> 00:21:57.411
I am going to lunch.

00:21:57.901 --> 00:21:59.101
A quiet little meal.

00:21:59.931 --> 00:22:00.696
I am an actress.

00:22:00.696 --> 00:22:03.430
All actresses are fools,
it's a well established fact.

00:22:04.621 --> 00:22:06.036
Why should there be any fuss?

00:22:07.306 --> 00:22:08.500
May I just take the note?

00:22:08.721 --> 00:22:11.175
Certainly not. The impudence!

00:22:11.301 --> 00:22:13.656
Oh, do stay to lunch,
there'll be jokes.

00:22:13.841 --> 00:22:15.327
Yes, Giles knows lots of jokes.

00:22:15.631 --> 00:22:17.131
Only we've heard them all.

00:22:17.481 --> 00:22:18.961
New people make such a change.

00:22:19.121 --> 00:22:21.420
Tessa wants you to stay. 
Don't you, Tessa?

00:22:22.411 --> 00:22:24.646
I think you're both shits.

00:22:24.791 --> 00:22:27.614
I was only teasing! Oh God!

00:22:27.614 --> 00:22:30.046
That means that we won't be on speakers
for a week.

00:22:32.701 --> 00:22:35.588
Well, thank you for all your help.

00:22:36.907 --> 00:22:38.876
Oh, don't bother to show me out.

00:22:40.641 --> 00:22:42.311
Enjoy your Kedgeree.

00:22:42.726 --> 00:22:55.141
(footsteps)

00:22:55.141 --> 00:22:56.154
Show me that address.

00:23:00.491 --> 00:23:01.442
Tessa!

00:23:04.591 --> 00:23:05.336
Naughty.

00:23:07.241 --> 00:23:07.973
Sorry.

00:23:09.663 --> 00:23:20.745
(footsteps)

00:23:20.777 --> 00:23:47.473
♪ (music) ♪

00:23:47.479 --> 00:23:48.228
Oh...

00:23:48.228 --> 00:23:50.519
♪ (music) ♪

00:23:50.519 --> 00:23:55.601
(Russian): I don't know such an address. 
You, lady, should take a taxi.

00:23:56.481 --> 00:23:57.285
Thank you.

00:23:57.285 --> 00:24:03.858
♪ (music) ♪
(Pravda "Truth", Russian newspaper)

00:24:03.858 --> 00:24:19.195
(inaudible conversation in russian)

00:24:19.231 --> 00:24:20.319
Excuse me.

00:24:20.319 --> 00:24:30.228
♪ (music) ♪

00:24:30.228 --> 00:24:32.145
(Russian): I know this place, I know it.

00:24:32.145 --> 00:24:35.847
♪ (music) ♪

00:24:35.847 --> 00:24:38.715
(Russian): Will you give me your
handkerchief? I'll take you.

00:24:38.715 --> 00:25:35.136
♪ (music) ♪

00:25:35.136 --> 00:25:36.196
(Russian): This is it.

00:25:36.196 --> 00:26:23.415
♪ (music) ♪

00:26:24.241 --> 00:26:26.002
♪ From the bank and from the river ♪

NOTE Paragraph

00:26:26.501 --> 00:26:28.402
♪ He flashed into the crystal mirror, ♪

00:26:29.341 --> 00:26:30.834
♪ ‘Tirra lira,’ by the river ♪

00:26:31.266 --> 00:26:32.785
♪ Sang Sir Lancelot. ♪

00:26:34.001 --> 00:26:36.261
♪ She left the web, she left the loom, ♪

00:26:36.266 --> 00:26:38.346
♪ She made three paces
through the room, ♪

00:26:38.491 --> 00:26:40.311
♪ She saw the water-lilies bloom, ♪

00:26:40.501 --> 00:26:42.261
♪ She saw the helmet and the plume, ♪

00:26:42.261 --> 00:26:43.968
♪ She looked down to Camelot. ♪

00:26:45.061 --> 00:26:46.954
♪ Out flew the web and floated wide; ♪

00:26:47.297 --> 00:26:49.565
♪ The mirror cracked from side to side; ♪

00:26:50.247 --> 00:26:52.717
♪ "The curse is come upon me," cried ♪

00:26:52.717 --> 00:26:54.790
♪ The Lady of Shalott. ♪

00:26:55.331 --> 00:26:58.796
I've tracked halfway across Russia
to get here.

00:26:59.031 --> 00:26:59.764
Oh, dear!

00:27:00.453 --> 00:27:02.091
I suppose that's my soap.

00:27:02.261 --> 00:27:04.494
It is, it is, and very nice too.

00:27:05.151 --> 00:27:06.573
Now, do sit down.

00:27:07.401 --> 00:27:08.601
What a splendid coat!

00:27:09.881 --> 00:27:10.624
There we are.

00:27:13.711 --> 00:27:14.968
I've just been tidying up.

00:27:15.994 --> 00:27:16.754
Here...

00:27:17.772 --> 00:27:18.502
Now...

00:27:18.611 --> 00:27:19.513
Have a drink...

00:27:20.500 --> 00:27:23.251
You know, quite honestly,
I thought that you'd chuck.

00:27:23.761 --> 00:27:24.724
I nearly did.

00:27:25.761 --> 00:27:26.802
You steal my soap,

00:27:27.521 --> 00:27:28.691
you steal my cigarettes,

00:27:29.181 --> 00:27:31.127
you even stole my face powder.

00:27:31.181 --> 00:27:33.137
I know, I know. One should have asked.

00:27:33.448 --> 00:27:34.448
One is such a coward.

00:27:37.198 --> 00:27:38.818
There, hardly any luxuries left..

00:27:39.471 --> 00:27:40.681
Quite a pigsty, in fact.

00:27:41.451 --> 00:27:43.447
You know I used to live
in German Street.

00:27:44.011 --> 00:27:45.164
Tragic, you might think.

00:27:45.647 --> 00:27:46.647
Well, not really.

00:27:48.481 --> 00:27:49.893
That was a pigsty, too.

00:27:50.241 --> 00:27:52.801
You know by their standard,
it's quite palatial...

00:27:53.656 --> 00:27:54.656
even commodius...

00:27:55.511 --> 00:27:57.003
One is very lucky.

00:28:00.151 --> 00:28:01.918
If that's our lunch, it's burning.

00:28:02.041 --> 00:28:04.111
Oh! Oh, dear! Oh yeah!

00:28:04.111 --> 00:28:06.476
(food bubbling in the pot)

00:28:06.501 --> 00:28:08.383
Can one salvage some of it, you think?

00:28:10.321 --> 00:28:11.086
No.

00:28:12.081 --> 00:28:13.681
Oh!
(tapping)

00:28:16.891 --> 00:28:18.111
Ah, all is not lost.

00:28:18.516 --> 00:28:20.286
I managed to scrounge two tomatoes...

00:28:20.371 --> 00:28:22.051
and quite a talking point...

00:28:22.286 --> 00:28:23.006
a grapefruit...

00:28:23.006 --> 00:28:23.732
Treats.

00:28:24.049 --> 00:28:25.049
(unclear)

00:28:27.820 --> 00:28:28.950
(furniture being moved)

00:28:31.570 --> 00:28:32.570
(clinking of cutlery)

00:28:33.131 --> 00:28:33.852
Garlic?

00:28:34.381 --> 00:28:35.511
No, thank you.

00:28:35.511 --> 00:28:36.290
I love it!

00:28:38.711 --> 00:28:40.326
Now, tell me all the gossip.

00:28:41.761 --> 00:28:43.232
Did you see Harold Nicholson?

00:28:43.721 --> 00:28:46.707
I've seen him, but I don't know him.

00:28:47.081 --> 00:28:47.812
Oh!

00:28:48.186 --> 00:28:49.599
Nice man, nice man

00:28:50.261 --> 00:28:52.491
What about Cyril Connolly?
He's everywhere.

00:28:52.641 --> 00:28:54.733
Well, I haven't run across him either.

00:28:54.733 --> 00:28:55.436
Oh!

00:28:56.088 --> 00:28:58.708
Somehow, one remembers
everyone knowing everyone else.

00:28:59.434 --> 00:29:01.184
Everyone I knew, knew everyone else.

00:29:01.501 --> 00:29:02.697
Auden, do you know him?

00:29:02.941 --> 00:29:03.774
Pope-Hennessy?

00:29:08.401 --> 00:29:10.778
The theater's in a terrible state.

00:29:11.031 --> 00:29:13.826
Three plays closed on Shaftesbury avenue
in one week.

00:29:14.991 --> 00:29:15.759
Really?

00:29:18.951 --> 00:29:20.671
Some ballet on ice is coming here.

00:29:21.248 --> 00:29:22.928
The comrades are all agog about it.

00:29:23.981 --> 00:29:25.749
I'm rather old-fashioned about ice.

00:29:27.401 --> 00:29:29.325
I used to direct in Cambridge, you know.

00:29:29.901 --> 00:29:32.381
One thinks back and wonders,
did one miss one's way?

00:29:34.051 --> 00:29:35.565
You're not eating your tomato?

00:29:36.761 --> 00:29:38.380
Well, I'm not hungry.

00:29:38.481 --> 00:29:40.719
Oh, I am. Yum, yum. Mmm.

00:29:41.460 --> 00:29:44.520
(clinking of cutlery)

00:29:44.581 --> 00:29:45.350
There.

00:29:45.915 --> 00:29:48.375
(clinking of cutlery)

00:29:48.421 --> 00:29:49.175
Mmm.

00:29:49.348 --> 00:29:51.028
Do you see many people here?

00:29:52.752 --> 00:29:54.947
Oh, yes. Heaps of chums...

00:29:57.071 --> 00:29:58.271
(chomping on the tomato)

00:29:58.271 --> 00:30:00.559
Don't know what you're missing
with this tomato.

00:30:01.510 --> 00:30:02.620
(chomping)

00:30:03.681 --> 00:30:05.610
There's your other half, I suppose...

00:30:06.191 --> 00:30:07.426
What? Oh yeah. Hmm.

00:30:08.381 --> 00:30:10.031
He is a dab hand of the balalaika.

00:30:10.031 --> 00:30:10.751
We play duets.

00:30:11.361 --> 00:30:12.234
Maclean?

00:30:13.720 --> 00:30:14.520
Maclean?

00:30:15.056 --> 00:30:15.806
Oh no.

00:30:16.053 --> 00:30:17.053
(laughs)

00:30:17.851 --> 00:30:20.091
Maclean is not my friend.
No doubt you'll know.

00:30:20.396 --> 00:30:21.116
No, no, no...

00:30:21.291 --> 00:30:24.027
No, no, no. He's so unfunny and no jokes.
No jokes at all.

00:30:24.331 --> 00:30:26.598
Positively the last person
one would have chosen

00:30:26.598 --> 00:30:28.138
had one had the choice.
(laughs)

00:30:28.721 --> 00:30:31.445
Yet we are here in this terrible
tandem together, you see.

00:30:31.501 --> 00:30:33.021
Debenham and Freebody.
Uh-hmm...

00:30:33.671 --> 00:30:35.771
Crosse and Blackwell.
Hm hm hm, mhhhh...

00:30:35.991 --> 00:30:36.947
Auden and Isherwood.

00:30:38.041 --> 00:30:39.103
Burgess and Maclean.

00:30:39.991 --> 00:30:40.942
Do you know Auden?

00:30:41.111 --> 00:30:42.319
You asked me. No.

00:30:43.701 --> 00:30:44.441
Don't look.

00:30:44.671 --> 00:30:46.310
The seeds get inside my plate.

00:30:47.091 --> 00:30:49.231
You know, people ask me
if I have any regrets.

00:30:49.231 --> 00:30:50.231
(water running)

00:30:50.231 --> 00:30:51.401
The one regret I have

00:30:51.501 --> 00:30:52.775
is that before I came away

00:30:52.775 --> 00:30:56.357
I didn't get myself fitted out with
a good pair of National Health Gnashers.

00:30:57.131 --> 00:31:00.200
Admirable as most things are
in the Soviet Socialist Republic,

00:31:00.721 --> 00:31:02.776
making of dentures
is still in its infancy.

00:31:03.095 --> 00:31:04.238
(plate being reinserted)

00:31:05.315 --> 00:31:06.054
Hmm.

00:31:07.341 --> 00:31:09.359
You know, there's no one in Moscow at all.

00:31:10.901 --> 00:31:13.631
It's rather like staying up at Cambridge
for the long vac.

00:31:14.321 --> 00:31:16.107
One makes do with whoever's around...

00:31:16.311 --> 00:31:17.050
Me.

00:31:17.125 --> 00:31:18.125
Ha ha ha!

00:31:18.201 --> 00:31:19.441
No, no, no, no, no.

NOTE Paragraph

00:31:19.521 --> 00:31:21.434
Besides, I asked you here for a reason.

00:31:23.451 --> 00:31:24.860
Did you bring a tape measure?

00:31:29.441 --> 00:31:32.539
I want you to measure me 
for some suits from my tailor.

00:31:33.321 --> 00:31:35.680
I only have one suit,
the one I came away in.

00:31:36.131 --> 00:31:38.142
And I've fallen down a lot since then.

00:31:38.601 --> 00:31:40.285
I shan't know where to start.

00:31:40.605 --> 00:31:42.081
What measurements will he want?

00:31:42.081 --> 00:31:43.891
Oh, measure it all, he'll work it out.

00:31:44.146 --> 00:31:45.026
He is a nice man.

00:31:45.421 --> 00:31:47.212
Won't the people here get you a suit?

00:31:47.741 --> 00:31:48.485
What people?

00:31:49.161 --> 00:31:49.970
The authorities.

00:31:50.711 --> 00:31:52.249
Oh, yes, but have you seen them?

00:31:52.821 --> 00:31:55.203
Clothes have never been
the comrades' strong point.

00:31:56.461 --> 00:31:59.253
Besides, I don't want to look
like everyone else, right?

00:32:00.751 --> 00:32:02.208
Now, I seem to remember

00:32:03.644 --> 00:32:04.354
doing this.

00:32:04.732 --> 00:32:05.461
Ah...

00:32:05.461 --> 00:32:06.176
Hm hm hm.

00:32:06.176 --> 00:32:06.891
Hm hm.

00:32:06.891 --> 00:32:08.929
Your arms can't have changed.

00:32:09.781 --> 00:32:12.402
You know, I never cared a tuppence
about clothes before.

00:32:12.501 --> 00:32:15.618
I was kitted out in the traditional
clothes in my class, you know.

00:32:15.751 --> 00:32:19.722
Black coat, striped trousers,
pinstripe suit, tweeds for weekends.

00:32:20.051 --> 00:32:22.157
Shit order, of course. 
Always in shit order.

00:32:22.191 --> 00:32:24.788
But charm, now I always had charm.

00:32:25.811 --> 00:32:28.860
"Well, you still have charm,"
she said through clenched teeth.

00:32:29.140 --> 00:32:29.920
Ha ha ha ha.

00:32:30.721 --> 00:32:32.038
Not here, not for them.

00:32:32.741 --> 00:32:35.282
For charm one needs words.
I have no words.

00:32:36.001 --> 00:32:37.690
And short of my clothes, no class.

00:32:38.501 --> 00:32:40.778
To them, I am the Englishman.

00:32:41.629 --> 00:32:44.308
"Would you like to go to bed
with the Englishman", I say.

00:32:44.568 --> 00:32:45.418
"Not really."

00:32:46.648 --> 00:32:48.510
How one got so spoiled during the war,

00:32:48.730 --> 00:32:50.030
the joys of the blackout.

00:32:50.440 --> 00:32:52.530
London awash with rude soldiery.

00:32:53.760 --> 00:32:55.510
(Russian) Long time, no see.

00:32:56.700 --> 00:32:57.590
You speak Russian?

00:32:57.870 --> 00:32:58.595
I manage.

00:32:58.835 --> 00:33:00.656
I ought to learn, simply for the sex.

00:33:01.446 --> 00:33:03.341
Boys are quite thin on the ground here.

00:33:03.341 --> 00:33:05.351
They can't speak my tongue,
I can't theirs.

00:33:05.351 --> 00:33:07.251
So when one does get one it soon palls.

00:33:08.081 --> 00:33:09.069
Sex needs language.

00:33:09.671 --> 00:33:11.664
Well, at least you found a friend.

00:33:12.191 --> 00:33:15.558
I don't know whether I've found one
or whether I've been allotted one.

00:33:17.071 --> 00:33:17.771
And I...

00:33:17.771 --> 00:33:19.551
I know what I've done to deserve him.

00:33:19.551 --> 00:33:21.246
But what has he done to deserve me?

00:33:21.891 --> 00:33:23.745
Am I a reward or a punishment?

00:33:25.161 --> 00:33:27.887
He plays the balalaika...
I play the piano...

00:33:29.161 --> 00:33:29.880
It's fun.

00:33:31.641 --> 00:33:33.443
He is an electrician with the ballet.

00:33:34.691 --> 00:33:36.381
Of course, he might be a policeman.

00:33:36.961 --> 00:33:39.111
If he is a policeman,
he does it jolly well...

00:33:39.251 --> 00:33:41.251
Forster lived with a policeman, didn't he?

00:33:41.281 --> 00:33:42.099
Do you know him?

00:33:42.131 --> 00:33:45.897
I feel I'm somewhat of a disappointment
in the friends department.

00:33:46.161 --> 00:33:46.923
Oh, no matter.

00:33:47.761 --> 00:33:48.521
You know...

00:33:48.881 --> 00:33:50.701
No one will believe me when I go home.

00:33:51.411 --> 00:33:53.089
What did you do in Moscow, darling?

00:33:53.701 --> 00:33:54.420
Nothing much.

00:33:55.087 --> 00:33:57.710
I measured Guy Burgess inside the leg.

00:33:58.105 --> 00:33:58.898
Ah ha ha ha...

00:34:00.201 --> 00:34:02.950
I shouldn't think one's inside leg
alters much, would you?

00:34:04.021 --> 00:34:05.127
One of the immutables.

00:34:06.491 --> 00:34:08.693
The knee is such a distance
from the main body,

00:34:08.693 --> 00:34:10.571
whereas the groin,
as your honour knows,

00:34:10.571 --> 00:34:12.412
is upon the very curtain of the place.

00:34:12.781 --> 00:34:13.513
Come again?

00:34:14.481 --> 00:34:15.268
Tristram Shandy.

00:34:17.951 --> 00:34:20.002
Of course, you wouldn't do that,
would you?

00:34:20.751 --> 00:34:21.501
Do what?

00:34:23.241 --> 00:34:24.626
Go around telling everybody.

00:34:26.261 --> 00:34:28.656
My people here wouldn't like that.

00:34:30.531 --> 00:34:31.260
No?

00:34:33.321 --> 00:34:34.050
No.

00:34:36.491 --> 00:34:37.531
A hat would be nice.

00:34:38.761 --> 00:34:39.621
7 and 5/8.

00:34:39.621 --> 00:34:41.301
Now, I will write the name of my...

00:34:41.301 --> 00:34:43.517
I have it here, and, oh,
and my bootmaker, too.

00:34:43.521 --> 00:34:45.512
Yeah, it's a trousseau.

00:34:45.581 --> 00:34:46.313
Yeah!

00:34:46.677 --> 00:34:47.787
For a shotgun marriage.

00:34:49.721 --> 00:34:51.837
Look, how do you know he won't say no?

00:34:51.837 --> 00:34:52.549
Hmm?

00:34:52.826 --> 00:34:53.826
Your tailor...

00:34:54.431 --> 00:34:55.896
It would be vulgar to say no.

00:34:55.896 --> 00:34:56.756
(paper being torn)

00:34:57.028 --> 00:34:58.028
He won't say no.

00:34:59.771 --> 00:35:01.090
I'll see what I can do.

00:35:01.231 --> 00:35:02.849
Oh, you're not going yet, are you?

00:35:03.021 --> 00:35:04.611
You don't want to go yet, do you?

00:35:05.231 --> 00:35:07.511
Well, couldn't we go somewhere?

00:35:08.011 --> 00:35:09.471
You could show me the sights.

00:35:10.111 --> 00:35:11.939
Uh... Well, I can't go out yet...

00:35:12.600 --> 00:35:14.340
I have to wait for a telephone call.

00:35:15.241 --> 00:35:17.832
When the telephone call comes,
I am permitted to leave.

00:35:18.541 --> 00:35:19.262
Who from?

00:35:21.831 --> 00:35:22.746
Oh, you know...

00:35:23.398 --> 00:35:24.158
my people.

00:35:26.721 --> 00:35:28.017
It's generally around four.

00:35:30.051 --> 00:35:31.567
That's another two hours!

00:35:34.631 --> 00:35:35.342
Never mind.

00:35:36.131 --> 00:35:37.992
I'll play you my Jack Buchanan record.

00:35:44.921 --> 00:35:47.481
♪ (music) ♪

00:35:47.491 --> 00:35:54.120
♪ Who, stole my heart away ♪

00:35:54.201 --> 00:35:58.899
♪ Who, makes me dream all day ♪

00:35:59.071 --> 00:36:04.823
♪ Dreams I know can never be true ♪

00:36:04.861 --> 00:36:10.933
♪ Seems as though I'll ever be blue ♪

00:36:10.971 --> 00:36:17.018
♪ Who, means my happiness ♪

00:36:17.061 --> 00:36:24.903
♪ Who, would I answer yes to ♪

00:36:25.231 --> 00:36:29.243
♪ Well you ought to guess who ♪

00:36:30.381 --> 00:36:32.518
♪ No one, but you ♪

00:36:32.669 --> 00:36:47.559
♪ (crescendo) ♪

00:36:47.576 --> 00:36:52.510
♪ No one else... ♪ 
♪ (music tempo rising) ♪

00:36:52.510 --> 00:36:57.238
♪ no one else... ♪
♪ (music tempo rising) ♪

00:36:57.238 --> 00:36:58.728
♪ else ♪

00:36:58.728 --> 00:36:59.714
♪ else but you... ♪

00:36:59.714 --> 00:37:02.439
♪ (music tempo rises and ends) ♪

00:37:04.411 --> 00:37:05.188
Good, isn't it?

00:37:06.024 --> 00:37:07.094
Want to hear it again?

00:37:07.761 --> 00:37:08.841
You just have the one?

00:37:08.971 --> 00:37:09.711
Just the one.

00:37:09.983 --> 00:37:11.202
What's on the other side?

00:37:11.202 --> 00:37:13.429
Oh, you don't want to listen
to the other side.

00:37:13.441 --> 00:37:14.708
The other side is rubbish.

00:37:14.835 --> 00:37:16.555
I never listen to the other side.

00:37:17.258 --> 00:37:19.688
♪ (music) ♪

00:37:19.701 --> 00:37:23.599
♪ Who, stole my heart away ♪

00:37:23.599 --> 00:37:25.127
What do you miss the most?

00:37:25.127 --> 00:37:27.781
♪ Who ♪

00:37:27.781 --> 00:37:29.481
Well, um...
♪ makes me dream ♪

00:37:29.481 --> 00:37:32.031
Apart from the Reform Club,
♪ all day. Dreams I ♪

00:37:32.031 --> 00:37:33.418
the streets of London
♪ know ♪

00:37:33.418 --> 00:37:35.331
and
♪ can never be true ♪

00:37:35.361 --> 00:37:37.339
occasionally the English countryside...

00:37:39.711 --> 00:37:41.441
I think the only thing I really miss

00:37:42.386 --> 00:37:43.156
is gossip.

00:37:44.961 --> 00:37:47.516
The comrades, though splendid
in every other respect,

00:37:47.611 --> 00:37:50.079
don't gossip in quite the way we do

00:37:50.121 --> 00:37:51.712
or about quite the same subjects.

00:37:52.201 --> 00:37:53.831
Now, pardon me for saying so, dear

00:37:53.831 --> 00:37:55.411
but the comrades seem to me to be

00:37:55.411 --> 00:37:58.024
a sad disappointment in every department.

00:37:58.851 --> 00:37:59.718
There's no gossip,

00:38:00.377 --> 00:38:01.706
their clothes are terrible,

00:38:02.161 --> 00:38:03.616
they can't make false teeth,

00:38:04.211 --> 00:38:05.151
what else is there?

00:38:06.431 --> 00:38:07.174
The system...

00:38:08.201 --> 00:38:10.886
though being English,
you wouldn't be interested in that.

00:38:14.001 --> 00:38:15.958
What do people say about me in England?

00:38:17.551 --> 00:38:18.946
They don't say much anymore.

00:38:20.981 --> 00:38:24.038
I thought you as a bit like Oscar Wilde.

00:38:25.039 --> 00:38:25.779
Ha ha.

00:38:26.941 --> 00:38:27.740
No, no.

00:38:30.211 --> 00:38:31.548
Though he was a performer

00:38:31.944 --> 00:38:33.104
(clinking of cutlery)

00:38:33.341 --> 00:38:34.521
and I was a performer.

00:38:34.521 --> 00:38:35.521
(clinking of cutlery)

00:38:35.521 --> 00:38:36.285
Both vain.

00:38:38.301 --> 00:38:39.350
But I never pretended.

00:38:39.781 --> 00:38:42.327
If I wore a mask,
it was to be exactly what I seemed.

00:38:43.251 --> 00:38:44.648
And as for the other, well...

00:38:45.374 --> 00:38:46.901
I made no bones about the other.

00:38:47.151 --> 00:38:49.461
(clinking of cutlery)

00:38:49.461 --> 00:38:50.894
But my analysis of situations,

00:38:50.999 --> 00:38:54.241
the precis I had to submit
to the Foreign Office were always Marxist.

00:38:54.241 --> 00:38:54.963
Openly so,

00:38:56.701 --> 00:38:58.411
impeccably so.
(clinking of cutlery)

00:38:59.151 --> 00:39:01.047
But nobody minded.
(clinking of cutlery)

00:39:01.321 --> 00:39:03.191
It's only Guy, dear old Guy.
Quite safe.

00:39:03.381 --> 00:39:05.381
See, if you do wish
to conform in one thing

00:39:05.381 --> 00:39:09.061
you must conform in all the others.
And in all important things I did conform.

00:39:09.131 --> 00:39:10.341
(clinking of cutlery)

00:39:10.621 --> 00:39:11.615
How can he be a spy?

00:39:11.732 --> 00:39:12.732
He goes to my tailor!

00:39:14.469 --> 00:39:17.292
The average Englishman, you see,
is not interested in ideas.

00:39:17.334 --> 00:39:20.208
Say what you like about political theory,
no one will listen.

00:39:20.208 --> 00:39:21.602
You could shove a whole slice

00:39:21.602 --> 00:39:24.082
of the Communist manifesto
into the Queen's Speech.

00:39:24.082 --> 00:39:25.301
Nobody would turn a hair.

00:39:25.861 --> 00:39:27.391
Least of all, I suspect, HMQ.

00:39:27.391 --> 00:39:32.161
(stove-top being cleaned)

00:39:32.211 --> 00:39:33.306
Am I boring you?

00:39:35.581 --> 00:39:36.514
It doesn't matter.

00:39:38.495 --> 00:39:41.117
(stove-top being cleaned)

00:39:41.117 --> 00:39:56.671
♪ (piano music) ♪

00:39:56.671 --> 00:39:59.408
I'll think of 101 things to ask you
when you've gone.

00:40:01.061 --> 00:40:02.197
How is Cyril Connolly?

00:40:03.311 --> 00:40:04.975
You've asked me that.
I do not know.

00:40:09.131 --> 00:40:09.887
So little...

00:40:10.264 --> 00:40:10.973
England.

00:40:12.101 --> 00:40:13.333
Little music, little art.

00:40:13.962 --> 00:40:14.692
Hmm.

00:40:14.771 --> 00:40:15.499
Timid,

00:40:15.760 --> 00:40:16.480
tasteful,

00:40:17.240 --> 00:40:17.951
nice.

00:40:19.431 --> 00:40:20.266
Yet one loves it.

00:40:21.933 --> 00:40:22.673
Loves it.

00:40:25.101 --> 00:40:28.000
You see, I can say I love London
and I can say I love England.

00:40:29.151 --> 00:40:31.771
I can't say I love my country.

00:40:31.771 --> 00:40:33.725
I don't know what that means.

00:40:37.271 --> 00:40:38.307
Do you watch cricket?

00:40:39.271 --> 00:40:39.980
No.

00:40:41.891 --> 00:40:42.917
Anyway, it's changed.

00:40:44.101 --> 00:40:44.855
Cricket?

00:40:45.711 --> 00:40:46.444
London.

00:40:48.372 --> 00:40:49.092
Why?

00:40:50.261 --> 00:40:51.511
I don't want it to change.

00:40:52.581 --> 00:40:54.252
Why does anybody want to change it?

00:40:54.671 --> 00:40:56.198
They've no business changing it.

00:40:56.758 --> 00:40:57.488
The fools!

00:40:58.314 --> 00:40:59.901
You should stop them changing it.

00:40:59.901 --> 00:41:00.722
Band together.

00:41:02.621 --> 00:41:03.341
Listen, dear.

00:41:04.161 --> 00:41:05.141
I'm only an actress.

00:41:06.891 --> 00:41:08.859
I'm not a bright lady, by your standards.

00:41:10.381 --> 00:41:12.431
I've never been
much interested in politics.

00:41:12.431 --> 00:41:15.770
But if this is Communism,
I don't like it because it's dull!

00:41:16.611 --> 00:41:18.090
The poor things look so tired.

00:41:20.191 --> 00:41:22.390
But then, some people think
Australia's dull.

00:41:22.761 --> 00:41:24.026
And that's not Communism.

00:41:24.914 --> 00:41:25.794
And look at Leeds!

00:41:29.121 --> 00:41:30.631
Only it occurs to me

00:41:31.931 --> 00:41:33.721
that we have sat here all afternoon

00:41:33.791 --> 00:41:35.994
pretending that spying,

00:41:37.951 --> 00:41:39.586
which is what you did, my darling,

00:41:40.101 --> 00:41:42.960
was just a minor social misdemeanor,

00:41:43.781 --> 00:41:44.501
no worse...

00:41:44.861 --> 00:41:47.221
And I’m sure
in certain people’s minds much better

00:41:47.221 --> 00:41:49.436
than being caught in a public lavatory

00:41:49.501 --> 00:41:51.962
the way gentlemen 
in my profession constantly are.

00:41:53.411 --> 00:41:57.238
That’s just something
we shouldn’t mention

00:41:58.971 --> 00:41:59.852
out of politeness.

00:42:01.751 --> 00:42:03.315
So that we won't be embarrassed.

00:42:05.088 --> 00:42:06.238
Hmm hmm hhh...

00:42:06.321 --> 00:42:07.368
That's very English.

00:42:08.221 --> 00:42:12.113
We'll pretend that hasn't happened
because we're both sensible people.

00:42:13.291 --> 00:42:14.010
Well,

00:42:15.379 --> 00:42:16.259
I am not English,

00:42:17.021 --> 00:42:18.660
I am not sensible,

00:42:20.011 --> 00:42:20.983
I am an Australian.

00:42:23.511 --> 00:42:25.114
I can't muster much morality

00:42:27.011 --> 00:42:30.474
and outside Shakespeare,
the word "treason" to me means nothing.

00:42:32.711 --> 00:42:34.430
Only, you pissed in our soup,

00:42:35.440 --> 00:42:36.338
and we drank it.

00:42:39.151 --> 00:42:40.437
Well, very well.

00:42:42.301 --> 00:42:43.884
It doesn't affect me, darling.

00:42:45.061 --> 00:42:47.123
I will order your suit and your hat.

00:42:48.251 --> 00:42:49.781
And I will keep it under mine.

00:42:50.111 --> 00:42:51.479
Mum, not a word.

00:42:53.141 --> 00:42:54.164
But for one reason,

00:42:56.381 --> 00:42:57.285
I'm sorry for you.

00:43:00.501 --> 00:43:01.241
Now,

00:43:02.061 --> 00:43:03.061
in your book,

00:43:03.651 --> 00:43:05.339
in your real book,

00:43:06.061 --> 00:43:10.001
that probably adds my name to the list
of all the other fools you've conned.

00:43:10.741 --> 00:43:12.489
But you are not conning me, darling.

00:43:14.891 --> 00:43:15.883
I know.

00:43:18.501 --> 00:43:21.032
Pipe isn't fooling pussy.

00:43:22.716 --> 00:43:27.296
(Telephone rings)

00:43:27.298 --> 00:43:28.298
Excuse me.

00:43:29.521 --> 00:43:30.544
I was enjoying that.

00:43:30.544 --> 00:43:35.050
(the ringing continues)

00:43:35.631 --> 00:43:37.295
You spoiled the lady's big speech.

00:43:39.258 --> 00:43:40.318
(Russian): Thank you.

00:43:41.239 --> 00:43:42.299
(Russian): Yeah, yeah.

00:43:44.561 --> 00:43:46.230
I just want to be told why.

00:43:51.311 --> 00:43:52.142
At the time,

00:43:52.835 --> 00:43:54.815
I thought it was the right thing to do...

00:43:56.581 --> 00:43:58.595
and solitude, I suppose.

00:43:59.379 --> 00:44:00.139
Oh, solitude!

00:44:03.161 --> 00:44:04.191
If you have a secret,

00:44:05.551 --> 00:44:06.283
you're alone.

00:44:06.561 --> 00:44:07.651
But you told people.

00:44:08.111 --> 00:44:09.411
You told several people.

00:44:10.591 --> 00:44:13.241
No point in having a secret,
if you make a secret of it.

00:44:14.291 --> 00:44:17.351
Actually, the other thing you might get me
is an old Etonian tie.

00:44:17.351 --> 00:44:18.711
This one's on it's last leg.

00:44:19.426 --> 00:44:20.802
Ah! Here is Tolya.

00:44:20.802 --> 00:44:23.241
(Tolya) Hello, Guy. (Russian)
(Guy) Hello. (Russian)

00:44:23.241 --> 00:44:25.096
(Tolya) How's it going? (Russian)

00:44:25.551 --> 00:44:27.999
Ah, yes. Now, this is Ms. Browne.

00:44:28.231 --> 00:44:30.076
She's an actress from England.

00:44:30.911 --> 00:44:31.923
How do you do?

00:44:33.261 --> 00:44:34.041
How do you do?

00:44:34.141 --> 00:44:34.891
Very good.

00:44:35.051 --> 00:44:38.874
If you give him a cigarette, an English
cigarette, he'll be your friend for life.

00:44:38.941 --> 00:44:40.946
(Russian) Oh, I see now!

00:44:41.013 --> 00:44:43.229
(Russian) Is it the theater? 
Hamlet? Ah!

00:44:43.755 --> 00:44:44.865
(Russian) Thank you.

00:44:52.463 --> 00:44:55.020
(Russian) Oh, it's a marvelous thing! 
What a thing!

00:44:55.331 --> 00:44:56.810
Oh dear, sorry.

00:44:56.955 --> 00:44:57.673
Uh.

00:44:58.083 --> 00:44:58.801
Uh.

00:44:58.801 --> 00:44:59.519
No.

00:44:59.519 --> 00:45:00.900
(Russian)
No, really, I can't.

00:45:00.900 --> 00:45:01.760
No, no, please.

00:45:01.760 --> 00:45:03.520
(Russian) I can't. 
I'm not shameless.

00:45:03.520 --> 00:45:04.296
Please.

00:45:04.732 --> 00:45:05.582
(Russian) Really?

00:45:06.498 --> 00:45:07.468
(Russian) Thank you.

00:45:12.514 --> 00:45:13.514
(Russian) Thank you.

00:45:17.341 --> 00:45:18.494
He's a real Queen Mary.

00:45:20.351 --> 00:45:22.681
You couldn't order him a suit,
could you, too?

00:45:22.681 --> 00:45:23.779
He would look so nice.

00:45:24.101 --> 00:45:24.851
Anything.

00:45:25.361 --> 00:45:26.091
Anything.

00:45:26.841 --> 00:45:27.706
Hey Guy, Guy.

00:45:27.843 --> 00:45:28.863
(Russian) Come here.

00:45:29.562 --> 00:45:33.105
(Russian) Listen, I would like to play 
something for her on the balalaika.

00:45:33.253 --> 00:45:34.973
(Russian) Do you understand? Okay?

00:45:35.507 --> 00:45:36.217
Mmmm.

00:45:36.411 --> 00:45:37.125
Uh... uh...

00:45:38.153 --> 00:45:39.663
Tolya wants to play you a tune.

00:45:40.101 --> 00:45:42.265
Uh, do let him, he'll be so pleased.

00:45:42.265 --> 00:45:47.728
♪ (balalaika being tuned) ♪

00:45:47.728 --> 00:45:49.992
Gilbert and Sullivan.

00:45:51.936 --> 00:45:54.511
♪ (music) ♪

00:45:54.511 --> 00:45:57.429
♪ Take a pair of sparkling eyes, ♪

00:45:57.429 --> 00:45:59.506
♪ Hidden, ever and anon, ♪

00:45:59.506 --> 00:46:03.231
♪ In a merciful eclipse ♪

00:46:03.231 --> 00:46:05.765
♪ Do not heed their mild surprise ♪

00:46:05.765 --> 00:46:08.031
♪ Having passed the Rubicon. ♪

00:46:08.031 --> 00:46:11.501
♪ Take a pair of rosy lips ; ♪

00:46:11.501 --> 00:46:15.921
What do you think?
Reward or punishment?

00:46:15.921 --> 00:46:18.231
♪ Be particular in this ♪

00:46:18.231 --> 00:46:20.377
♪ Take a tender little hand, ♪

00:46:20.377 --> 00:46:22.519
♪ Fringed with dainty fingerettes, ♪

00:46:22.911 --> 00:46:25.438
♪ Press it, press... ♪

00:46:26.911 --> 00:46:27.869
Where are we going?

00:46:28.421 --> 00:46:29.159
Church.

00:46:29.741 --> 00:46:30.691
Do you like church?

00:46:30.971 --> 00:46:31.721
I adore it.

00:46:32.121 --> 00:46:33.744
This one, the singing's very good.

00:46:33.744 --> 00:46:37.288
The opera singers are in the choir,
warming up for the evening performance.

00:46:38.801 --> 00:46:41.039
That's uh, not another friend?

00:46:41.419 --> 00:46:42.317
Oh, good God no.

00:46:43.761 --> 00:46:46.141
You know, when I first came here,

00:46:46.141 --> 00:46:48.156
I was shadowed by
a rather grand policeman.

00:46:48.156 --> 00:46:49.688
That was when I was a celebrity.

00:46:49.971 --> 00:46:51.998
Nowadays, they just send the trainees...

00:46:52.271 --> 00:46:53.228
Ironic, that.

00:46:54.381 --> 00:46:55.123
Good afternoon.

00:46:56.191 --> 00:46:57.451
(Russian) Good afternoon.

00:46:58.381 --> 00:47:00.069
Not strong on irony, the comrades.

00:47:01.981 --> 00:47:03.291
Did you know Jack Buchanan?

00:47:04.231 --> 00:47:05.085
Yes, I suppose.

00:47:07.101 --> 00:47:08.310
We nearly got married.

00:47:08.310 --> 00:47:19.860
♪ (music) ♪

00:47:19.871 --> 00:47:20.940
It's strange.

00:47:21.971 --> 00:47:24.072
Sybil Thorndike loved it.

00:47:24.124 --> 00:47:29.474
(footsteps)

00:47:29.516 --> 00:48:20.746
♪ (singing at the church) ♪

00:48:22.153 --> 00:49:14.325
♪ (chanting) ♪

00:49:14.363 --> 00:49:18.913
♪ (chanting fades) ♪

00:49:19.951 --> 00:49:21.976
I gave you my old mum's number, didn't I?

00:49:22.251 --> 00:49:22.990
Yes.

00:49:25.501 --> 00:49:26.231
I...

00:49:27.666 --> 00:49:28.466
do like it here.

00:49:30.581 --> 00:49:32.106
Don't tell anyone I don't.

00:49:32.731 --> 00:49:33.614
And thanks again,

00:49:34.177 --> 00:49:34.937
in advance.

00:49:39.509 --> 00:50:09.673
♪ (music) ♪

00:50:10.841 --> 00:50:11.868
Is that Mrs. Burgess?

00:50:12.771 --> 00:50:14.099
My name is Coral Browne.

00:50:14.381 --> 00:50:16.921
I've just seen Guy in Moscow.
He asked me to call you.

00:50:17.291 --> 00:50:18.291
How is he looking?

00:50:18.291 --> 00:50:19.370
Oh, he's looking fine.

00:50:19.741 --> 00:50:21.299
I do wish I could see him.

00:50:21.751 --> 00:50:22.565
The old scamp.

00:50:22.565 --> 00:50:25.499
Well, you should go over again.
I know he'd love to see you.

00:50:25.499 --> 00:50:26.709
Don't think I could now.

00:50:26.981 --> 00:50:28.076
I've got a stupid hip.

00:50:28.511 --> 00:50:29.432
Oh, I'm so sorry.

00:50:30.641 --> 00:50:32.987
Well, maybe they'll let him
come back sometime.

00:50:33.851 --> 00:50:36.808
He shouldn't have to stand in the corners
the rest of his life.

00:50:37.171 --> 00:50:38.583
It is seven years.

00:50:39.178 --> 00:50:40.178
People are silly.

00:50:42.501 --> 00:50:44.106
(Tailor) Let me see? Now there...

00:50:44.311 --> 00:50:45.041
(Tailor) Yes.

00:50:45.041 --> 00:50:47.351
(Tailor)
Yes, well, it is fractionally too short.

00:50:47.351 --> 00:50:49.153
(Tailor) But I can easily alter that.

00:50:49.211 --> 00:50:52.401
(Tailor) They're pretty old today,
little over the years, you know.

00:50:53.001 --> 00:50:53.931
(Tailor) Credit!

00:50:55.091 --> 00:50:55.821
(Tailor) Good.

00:50:56.131 --> 00:50:58.619
(Tailor) Now then,
if you'd like to try this thing...

00:50:58.619 --> 00:51:01.315
(Tailor) No problems at all.
And then, now there's this.

00:51:01.315 --> 00:51:04.451
(Tailor) We'll repair that once you
return it. Perhaps you would...

00:51:04.451 --> 00:51:06.369
(Tailor) I will be with you in a moment!

00:51:06.640 --> 00:51:08.076
(Tailor) That's fine, I think.

00:51:08.748 --> 00:51:09.878
Ah...ahem

00:51:10.591 --> 00:51:11.841
Yes Madam, can I help you?

00:51:11.841 --> 00:51:13.985
Good morning.
I'd like to order some suits.

00:51:14.541 --> 00:51:16.141
Certainly madam, have a seat.

00:51:16.141 --> 00:51:19.854
You've made suits for the gentleman before
but now he lives abroad.

00:51:19.921 --> 00:51:20.675
I see.

00:51:21.301 --> 00:51:22.497
I took his measurements.

00:51:24.061 --> 00:51:25.899
I don't know if they're quite right.

00:51:26.441 --> 00:51:27.240
Let me see.

00:51:29.311 --> 00:51:30.031
Oh, yes.

00:51:30.221 --> 00:51:31.931
Yes, these are more than adequate.

00:51:32.501 --> 00:51:34.394
Uh, could we know the gentleman's name?

00:51:35.881 --> 00:51:36.595
Burgess.

00:51:41.121 --> 00:51:42.966
I seem to remember that we had, uh...

00:51:43.091 --> 00:51:44.980
We had two Mr. Burgesses.

00:51:45.070 --> 00:51:51.139
(fumbles through the log books)

00:51:51.530 --> 00:51:52.840
(Assistant) Yes, I'm sure.

00:51:53.041 --> 00:51:55.438
This I take it as Mr.Burguess G.

00:51:57.431 --> 00:51:58.827
How is Mr Burgess?

00:51:59.474 --> 00:52:00.211
Huh!

00:52:00.511 --> 00:52:01.966
Fatter, I see.

00:52:03.161 --> 00:52:05.190
He was one of our more colorful customers.

00:52:05.541 --> 00:52:08.230
Too little color in our drab lives
these days...

00:52:08.721 --> 00:52:11.400
Mr Guy favoured this pattern.

00:52:11.521 --> 00:52:15.467
It's a durable fabric. His suits were
meant to take a good deal of punishment.

00:52:15.467 --> 00:52:17.399
They've stood him in good stead, I hope.

00:52:17.399 --> 00:52:18.594
Oh yes, they have indeed.

00:52:18.594 --> 00:52:19.700
I am glad to hear it.

00:52:20.491 --> 00:52:22.854
Always getting into such scrapes, Mr Guy.

00:52:23.981 --> 00:52:24.829
And your name is?

00:52:25.241 --> 00:52:25.974
Browne.

00:52:26.701 --> 00:52:28.721
There's no need for discretion here,
madam.

00:52:29.111 --> 00:52:29.966
No, truly.

00:52:31.501 --> 00:52:32.244
My apologies.

00:52:35.101 --> 00:52:36.257
And this is the address?

00:52:38.281 --> 00:52:40.875
We put little of ourselves into our suits.

00:52:41.041 --> 00:52:42.511
That is our loyalty.

00:52:43.681 --> 00:52:45.159
And mum's the word.

00:52:47.711 --> 00:52:49.744
Mum is always the word here, madam.

00:52:50.481 --> 00:52:51.951
Moscow or Maidenhead,

00:52:52.926 --> 00:52:54.639
mum is always the word.

00:52:56.471 --> 00:52:57.194
Baldwin...

00:52:58.017 --> 00:52:58.747
Brooks...

00:52:59.079 --> 00:53:01.249
(mutters names)

00:53:01.331 --> 00:53:02.074
Burgess...

00:53:02.257 --> 00:53:03.257
(pages turning)

00:53:03.441 --> 00:53:07.036
Burgess, Burgess, Burgess,

00:53:07.511 --> 00:53:08.440
Burgess.

00:53:09.021 --> 00:53:09.763
No.

00:53:10.681 --> 00:53:11.800
I'll call back later.

00:53:11.800 --> 00:53:13.580
Burgess, Burgess.

00:53:16.061 --> 00:53:16.798
5807.

00:53:17.071 --> 00:53:19.901
Well, if you care to follow me into the
bowels of the Earth,

00:53:19.901 --> 00:53:21.231
we'll see what we can find.

00:53:25.241 --> 00:53:26.639
5807...

00:53:27.282 --> 00:53:30.479
This is the Mr. Burgess
who got into hot water.

00:53:30.531 --> 00:53:31.296
George!

00:53:31.741 --> 00:53:32.475
Yes.

00:53:33.011 --> 00:53:34.357
5807...

00:53:35.864 --> 00:53:37.562
5807...

00:53:37.691 --> 00:53:38.424
(clears throat)

00:53:38.424 --> 00:53:41.961
(footsteps)

00:53:41.961 --> 00:53:43.347
It's a graveyard.

00:53:43.661 --> 00:53:47.151
The contrary madam, these are all
very much alive and indeed kicking.

00:53:47.925 --> 00:53:50.644
5807...

00:53:50.781 --> 00:53:53.759
From time to time,
we do have a little bonfire.

00:53:54.501 --> 00:53:56.316
George, 5807.

00:53:58.191 --> 00:53:59.992
Ah, excuse me sir.

00:54:04.251 --> 00:54:06.025
Oh, it's a very long way from him.

00:54:06.431 --> 00:54:07.781
I thought he was done with.

00:54:08.741 --> 00:54:10.533
George is quite ruthless.
(sniggers)

00:54:14.171 --> 00:54:15.320
Ah, here they are.

00:54:17.061 --> 00:54:17.770
GB.

00:54:19.331 --> 00:54:20.086
Great Britain.

00:54:24.501 --> 00:54:26.515
I wish he'd told me so at the time...

00:54:26.781 --> 00:54:28.787
I'd have liked to see the old thing again.

00:54:28.881 --> 00:54:30.952
Well, he wanted me
to take you out to lunch.

00:54:31.061 --> 00:54:31.781
Oh!

00:54:31.781 --> 00:54:32.681
Sent me a check.

00:54:32.771 --> 00:54:33.549
Oh!

00:54:34.281 --> 00:54:36.221
I'm not sure that I should cash it.

00:54:36.261 --> 00:54:37.830
Oh, to Guy!

00:54:40.562 --> 00:54:42.460
Have you trouble getting him the stuff?

00:54:42.551 --> 00:54:43.706
Oh, no, no, no, no.

00:54:43.751 --> 00:54:45.939
Nobody better than I...
Then, why should they?

00:54:46.321 --> 00:54:47.476
It's all been sent off.

00:54:47.841 --> 00:54:50.727
Only now he's written
asking for some pyjamas.

00:54:51.101 --> 00:54:51.821
Hmm?

00:54:51.821 --> 00:54:52.541
Look.

00:54:52.541 --> 00:54:53.681
(Woman) Goodbye, Mario.

00:54:54.111 --> 00:54:55.264
(Mario) Goodbye, madam.

00:54:55.771 --> 00:54:56.922
What I really need,

00:54:57.781 --> 00:55:00.451
honestly the only thing more, is pyjamas.

00:55:00.691 --> 00:55:04.562
Russian ones can't be slept in,
are not in fact made for that purpose.

00:55:05.101 --> 00:55:07.891
What I would like is four pairs...

00:55:07.891 --> 00:55:08.710
Oh!

00:55:09.245 --> 00:55:09.965
Oh...

00:55:10.193 --> 00:55:12.718
White or off white and navy blue silk...

00:55:13.001 --> 00:55:15.000
quite plain and under those two colors...

00:55:15.331 --> 00:55:17.203
and at last my outfit will be complete.

00:55:17.261 --> 00:55:20.219
Then I shall look like a real agent,
again.

00:55:20.251 --> 00:55:21.000
What?

00:55:23.521 --> 00:55:26.319
...then I shall look
like a real gent again.

00:55:26.319 --> 00:55:27.048
Oh.

00:55:27.264 --> 00:55:29.014
Ha ha ha ha ha.

00:55:29.121 --> 00:55:32.348
Well, I think the pyjamas
are going to have to be it.

00:55:33.621 --> 00:55:35.243
Otherwise little Dolly drop draws

00:55:35.323 --> 00:55:37.617
will shop shop shop
until the cows come home.

00:55:37.721 --> 00:55:39.503
Or till the revolution comes.

00:55:48.921 --> 00:55:52.033
I'm afraid this gentleman no longer
has an account with us, madam.

00:55:52.033 --> 00:55:53.151
His account was closed.

00:55:53.151 --> 00:55:55.043
I know, but he wishes to open it again.

00:55:55.481 --> 00:55:57.005
I'm afraid that is impossible.

00:55:58.251 --> 00:55:58.972
Why?

00:55:59.246 --> 00:55:59.976
Well...

00:56:00.931 --> 00:56:02.813
We supply pyjamas to the royal family.

00:56:03.951 --> 00:56:04.664
So?

00:56:05.531 --> 00:56:07.175
The gentleman is a traitor, Madam.

00:56:07.631 --> 00:56:08.381
So?

00:56:08.871 --> 00:56:10.431
Must traitors sleep in the buff?

00:56:10.541 --> 00:56:11.261
I'm sorry.

00:56:11.801 --> 00:56:13.483
We have to draw the line somewhere.

00:56:13.701 --> 00:56:14.836
Well, why at this?

00:56:16.001 --> 00:56:18.784
Suppose someone commits 
adultery in your precious pyjamas?

00:56:18.784 --> 00:56:20.473
And I imagine it has occurred?

00:56:21.401 --> 00:56:24.214
What happens when he orders 
his next pair of jim-jams?

00:56:24.214 --> 00:56:25.638
Is it sorry, no can do?

00:56:25.721 --> 00:56:26.561
I'm very sorry.

00:56:26.731 --> 00:56:29.294
You keep on saying you're sorry!

00:56:30.031 --> 00:56:31.375
Oh, Jesus Christ!

00:56:31.601 --> 00:56:33.529
You were quite happy to satisfy this man

00:56:33.529 --> 00:56:36.847
when he was one of the most 
notorious buggers in London!

00:56:37.271 --> 00:56:38.943
And a drunkard into the bargain.

00:56:38.943 --> 00:56:41.777
Oh, yes. But then he was somebody
in the Foreign Office.

00:56:41.886 --> 00:56:45.037
A little red piping on the sleeve,
Mr Burguess? Of course.

00:56:45.037 --> 00:56:47.235
A discreet monogram on the pocket,
Mr Burguess?

00:56:47.240 --> 00:56:48.160
Oh, yes, certainly.

00:56:48.160 --> 00:56:50.690
And if there's anything else
you require Mr Burgess...

00:56:50.690 --> 00:56:55.504
We'd be only too happy to ease down
your pinstripe trousers and perform!

00:56:55.504 --> 00:56:56.995
(clears throat)

00:56:56.995 --> 00:56:58.189
But not anymore.

00:56:58.189 --> 00:57:00.848
Look madam, I don't know
why you're doing this for him.

00:57:00.848 --> 00:57:04.803
As far as we're concerned, Mr Burgess
is a client we have well resolved.

00:57:04.803 --> 00:57:06.468
Ours is a highly respectable firm..

00:57:06.471 --> 00:57:08.499
Oh, highly respectable!

00:57:08.741 --> 00:57:12.159
It’s pricks like you that
make me understand why he went!

00:57:12.531 --> 00:57:14.487
Thank Christ, I'm not English!

00:57:14.581 --> 00:57:15.929
As a matter of fact madam,

00:57:16.241 --> 00:57:18.231
our firm isn't English in origin, either.

00:57:18.421 --> 00:57:19.160
Oh?

00:57:19.760 --> 00:57:20.480
What is it?

00:57:21.141 --> 00:57:21.888
Hungarian.

00:57:23.511 --> 00:57:24.259
I see.

00:57:25.241 --> 00:57:25.961
Well...

00:57:26.075 --> 00:57:29.818
You can't object
if I buy an old Etonian tie...

00:57:30.441 --> 00:57:31.634
For cash, naturally.

00:57:32.251 --> 00:57:34.480
For the Archbishop of Canterbury's
mother.

00:57:36.855 --> 00:57:45.575
(humming)

00:57:46.241 --> 00:57:49.222
♪ That he is an Englishman! ♪

00:57:49.577 --> 00:57:53.428
♪ That he is an Englishman! ♪

00:57:53.479 --> 00:57:57.508
♪ For he might have been a Roosian, ♪

00:57:57.931 --> 00:58:01.728
♪ A French, or Turk, or Proosian, ♪

00:58:01.931 --> 00:58:05.398
♪ Or perhaps Itali-an! ♪

00:58:05.519 --> 00:58:09.518
♪ Or perhaps Itali-an! ♪

00:58:09.518 --> 00:58:14.034
♪ But in spite of all temptations ♪

00:58:14.111 --> 00:58:18.130
♪ To belong to other nations, ♪

00:58:18.191 --> 00:58:21.661
♪ He remains an Englishman! ♪

00:58:21.721 --> 00:58:30.638
♪ He remains an Englishman! ♪

00:58:30.638 --> 00:58:35.254
♪ For in spite of all temptations ♪

00:58:35.511 --> 00:58:39.490
♪ to belong to other nations, ♪

00:58:39.611 --> 00:58:43.258
♪ He remains an Englishman! ♪

00:58:43.319 --> 00:58:54.740
♪ He remains an Englishman! ♪

00:58:55.441 --> 00:58:58.760
♪ For he himself has said it, ♪

00:58:58.897 --> 00:59:03.254
♪ And it's greatly to his credit, ♪

00:59:03.254 --> 00:59:07.725
♪ That he is an Englishman! ♪

00:59:07.861 --> 00:59:18.258
♪ That he is an Englishman! ♪

00:59:18.979 --> 00:59:26.839
(cheering)