Welcome to Prankers.
Today I'm gonna prank my dad into funding a God of War Game-as-a-Service.
KYLE: This week, we were graced and inconvenienced
by a brand-new Xbox Developer Direct.
Last year I thought it was funny
that they used the exact same opening song 2 years in a row.
[bright music]
Now, this year it would be silly to assume they'd try anything new.
It's copy and paste at this point.
[same bright music]
Why that's weird is that Xbox's whole business has changed dramatically since January of 2023
and so has its marketing.
But for some reason, the Developer Direct remains unchanged.
Someone at Microsoft likes these exactly the way they are.
But you know what?
That makes the small ways in which they are different stand out even more.
Here are:
Firstly:
For some reason, there was a brand-new warning
at the beginning of this year's presentation.
I'm not sure that would stand out to anyone, right?
That doesn't seem unusual. But Xbox has never done that before.
Even looking at their most recent game showcase,
all they had was this Mature Content warning.
But the Developer Direct warning doesn't stop there.
Turns out, it's not really a warning.
It says:
Oh, got it! So this is just commercial time.
Back when Xbox deleted day-one benefits from the regular Game Pass tier,
I was making light of the fact they couldn't say their favorite phrase anymore,
"Day 1 with Game Pass."
Look, Game Pass Ultimate is the one that has Day 1 games.
Core and Standard do not.
How silly of you to think Standard Game Pass would have Day 1.
But they just keep saying it. Nothing's actually changed.
You gotta read between the lines. PC and Ultimate is implied here.
[HONK] You know what,
you'll figure it out when you get to the website.
The good news warning continues:
It sits in the same portion of a presentation
where you would typically have some sort of disclaimer.
However, at this point, it is purely commercial speech.
And this, to me, IS Xbox right now.
This is the current mission statement of the Xbox brand.
Finally:
appears and then a silly little animation for it.
And that's really what they give you. They give you a little show.
Less than ever, this feels like developers directly talking to you
and more like they're just putting on a little play for us
that was written by their PR managers who are grinding their teeth backstage.
Consider this moment here.
MARTY STRATTON: --at our most ambitious game yet.
This is Doom: The Dark Ages.
HUGO MARTIN: That was so stupid I mouthed the words.
[everyone laughs]
KYLE: I think that's a fun, honest, humorous moment.
However, it is only funny, it can only exist,
'cause everything up to that point WAS rehearsed, WAS scripted.
It's funny because of how weird everything else feels.
This could be filled with developers
genuinely talking off-the-cuff about what they've been working on,
but for the most part, it's fluffy, meaningless mission statements.
JASMIN ROY: At Compulsion Games, we love to craft around central themes.
Another big difference between Developer Directs in previous years is:
The very indignity of seeing PS5 advertised in an Xbox showcase.
Now, one might think, "Obviously in previous years
they were all Xbox exclusives. There was no opportunity to put PS5 in here."
But no, look at Visions of Mana and Minecraft Legends here,
free from the blight of PlayStation references.
By the way, they only did these funny doodles Year 1.
They stopped that immediately.
But yeah, even as recently as last year's Xbox Showcase,
they didn't mention the PS5.
But why would you? You don't do that kind of thing.
Nintendo doesn't do that. Sony doesn't do that.
You don't talk about-- You don't advertise other people's consoles.
That's ridiculous.
[drawl] Well, lookee here.
While this may not seem like a big deal at first glance,
it is the indubitable flag representing the pivot.
"From this day forth," says Xbox, "We do not fear the PS5.
'Cause remember:
So really, if you buy this on PS5, you're only hurting yourself.
Really, it's kinda stupid if you don't give us $20 a month.
Kinda just wasting your income.
Kinda think you're bad at economics."
Last big change, for the first time in one of these:
Remember, the beauty of a Developer Direct
is that there are no manipulative, hotshot trailers,
no fancy editing. Give me sloppy editing.
HAZEL'S MOM: As long as you didn't forget the--
HAZEL: --flashlights and batteries.
HAZEL'S MOM: Oh shoot, we've got 5 minutes.
KYLE: Yeah, that hits the spot. And you know what else?
I like it when developers are talking,
not reading off of some teleprompter somewhere.
STRATTON: A lot has changed since then but our team is as passionate as ever.
KYLE: That's what I'm talkin' about. Trailers are for other shows.
Developer Directs, 50 minutes of authenticity.
But really, the most exciting portion of this Developer Direct
was not just the revelation that a pretty nice Ninja Gaiden 4
is in development from Team Ninja and Platinum Games,
but also that Ninja Gaiden 2 Black exists and it looks better than this new game.
And you can:
Kind of confusing sentence. I see now why they're typing out PS5.
But what I mean to say is, after all this, I do wonder if
the tried and true Nintendo Direct method of trailer, explanation, information
is still the best way to do this kind of thing.
Look at how they introduced Expedition 33.
[somber piano plays]
[French singing]
GUILLAUME BROCHE: Bonjour, everyone.
KYLE: Yeah, they were in no rush to show you that video game.
First things first, look at these tall ceilings.
To be clear, though, I do think Expedition 33
brought the best presentation of the entire direct,
demonstrating clearly how it's both similar and different to your expectations,
unafraid to expose its pointlessly complicated passive effect system,
and a true enthusiasm to introduce the world map.
Okay, almost true enthusiasm.
Try to tell me when this developer reiterates that there's a world map,
that it comes off as unscripted.
TOM GUILLERMAN: --a completely 3D and navigatable world map.
Yes, we've got a world map.
KYLE: To me, it's just incredibly off-putting how seemingly afraid they are
to just let developers speak freely in a potentially sub-optimal manner.
"What if it's not entertaining enough? We could lose viewers."
But, in fairness, they never promised a documentary.
In fact, I wonder if that WAS a warning.
MENACING VOICE: Enjoy the show.
KYLE: Despite that, despite the abundant artifice,
I do think Developer Directs are one of the most interesting ways to present a showcase.
That they really-- They spend a lot of time on the games themselves.
50 minutes for 4 games is actually pretty crazy.
And I really, really like that someone at Xbox recognizes
that some of these mid-budget games are truly interesting
and deserve the full spotlight.
I don't think it was a better presentation than last year's
but I'm going to give it a better grade
because my expectations are just generally sinking across the board.
Therefore:
And that's Delayed Input. I'll be back next week.
Thanks for watching.
Alright, so one of the things that actually stands out to me the most
from the entire presentation
is how soft and silly the new Doom looks.
That's right, I'm officially putting Doom: The Dark Ages
on Dum-Dum Watch.
Doom is dangerously close to transitioning from
this absolutely unassailable, cool guy franchise to
an absolute dorkfest, at least how it's presented.
Doom somehow became some sort of Do What the Circle Tells You To Do game.
Hit an enemy until a purple circle appears and then walk over and kill it.
It's made clear, just looking at it, that the Doom team
is trying to take this franchise in a more wide market direction.
And they'll even tell you that.
STRATTON: So in 2016, we asked you to run and gun.
In Doom Eternal it was jump and shoot.
And in Doom: The Dark Ages you're gonna stand and fight.
KYLE: And remember, that's the pre-approved PR.
They're proud of that. And what's--
What's so funny about it, to me, is that "stand and fight"
is the least interesting option of those 3 things.
And it's not like we weren't fighting before.
And the accompanying clip that demonstrates this is indeed boring.
Looks like the player's just pressing the buttons
that game is explicitly asking them to press.
I'm not even sure you have to aim.
Look at this example of one of their big, new, expansive levels.
It's so weird to me. It's so weird that the demons are just organized.
They're just lined up waiting for you to come kill them.
Look at these 5 shield guys.
I guess that should be an intimidating obstacle.
Ideally, you'd look at 5 shield guys and you think,
"Oh, okay. How am I gonna flank them?
I gotta figure out what angle to hit this from."
When, no, we all know you're gonna hit 'em with the shield and they all die in one hit.
I don't care how much you jack up the speed.
It's gonna look stupid at any difficulty.
And again, stupid is not necessarily bad. I've been known to enjoy some stupid games.
But Doom presents itself as cool.
Let me ask you something: Do you buy this?
Do you believe those buildings have occupants in them?
Do you feel huge? You feel like you're a big robot?
'Cause to me, it looks airy. It looks weightless.
Epic on paper, cartoonish in practice. "Oh good, another purple circle."
And look, I know I'm just basing this off of the presentation I watched today,
which was made for a mass market.
I'm not saying for certain the game will be dumb and silly and Disney XD-level drama.
But
it is officially on Dum-Dum Watch.
STRATTON: And if that wasn't enough, we also have for you
your very own fire-breathing, gatling gun-toting cybernetic dragon.