WEBVTT 00:00:10.072 --> 00:00:12.013 (Referee whistle sound) 00:00:12.915 --> 00:00:14.161 Good evening! 00:00:14.161 --> 00:00:16.190 Good evening. How are you? 00:00:16.560 --> 00:00:18.808 Are you good? Great! 00:00:18.808 --> 00:00:21.211 Welcome, welcome, welcome to this match. 00:00:21.416 --> 00:00:25.012 This match will take exactly 18 minutes. 00:00:25.463 --> 00:00:28.295 OK? And you're all part of the same team: 00:00:28.811 --> 00:00:30.080 Mechelen. 00:00:30.127 --> 00:00:31.169 OK? 00:00:31.169 --> 00:00:34.717 Hey guys, I would like to see fair play on the field, 00:00:34.717 --> 00:00:37.206 respect and positivity. 00:00:37.605 --> 00:00:39.677 Is that OK for everyone? 00:00:40.076 --> 00:00:41.486 Cool. 00:00:41.646 --> 00:00:43.047 Good luck! 00:00:43.498 --> 00:00:48.538 One year ago, I decided I wanted to become a football referee. 00:00:48.892 --> 00:00:51.547 Not because of the money, though. 00:00:51.547 --> 00:00:53.920 I only get paid 20 euros per match. 00:00:53.920 --> 00:00:56.886 So I won't really get rich by it, will I? 00:00:56.886 --> 00:01:01.799 No. I decided to become a referee for two other reasons. 00:01:02.531 --> 00:01:05.345 One - to stay in good shape. 00:01:05.345 --> 00:01:11.755 Two - because I wanted to learn how not to take things personally. 00:01:11.755 --> 00:01:13.497 [How not to take things personally?] 00:01:14.067 --> 00:01:15.616 I can see some people nodding. 00:01:15.616 --> 00:01:17.452 You are probably thinking, 00:01:17.452 --> 00:01:20.269 "Being a referee is the perfect environment 00:01:20.269 --> 00:01:23.720 to learn how not to take things personally, isn't it?" 00:01:23.965 --> 00:01:29.194 Because the spectators hardly ever shout encouraging or positive things. 00:01:29.194 --> 00:01:30.878 No. What do they shout? 00:01:30.878 --> 00:01:31.876 Come on, come on. 00:01:31.876 --> 00:01:33.610 [Audience:] "Loser! Are you blind?" 00:01:33.610 --> 00:01:35.960 Yeah, yeah, good! 00:01:36.415 --> 00:01:39.126 As a referee, I am the scapegoat. 00:01:39.649 --> 00:01:41.881 Apparently, I'm always wrong. 00:01:41.881 --> 00:01:44.411 It's always my fault. 00:01:44.411 --> 00:01:49.290 And I wanted to learn how not to take all this personally. 00:01:51.227 --> 00:01:53.859 Because I really struggle with this. 00:01:54.209 --> 00:01:56.932 For example, when I drive slowly 00:01:56.932 --> 00:02:00.405 because I'm trying to find a specific location 00:02:00.405 --> 00:02:03.705 and somebody is just driving behind me, 00:02:03.705 --> 00:02:05.275 I feel hunted. 00:02:05.275 --> 00:02:08.628 Especially when they start honking and flashing their headlights, 00:02:10.226 --> 00:02:11.520 I take it personally. 00:02:11.520 --> 00:02:16.400 I know I shouldn't, but it just happens. 00:02:16.420 --> 00:02:18.472 Do you see what I mean? 00:02:19.152 --> 00:02:22.177 Or when somebody cancels an appointment last minute, 00:02:22.493 --> 00:02:25.253 I get the feeling that I'm not important enough. 00:02:25.402 --> 00:02:28.789 Again, I take it personally. 00:02:30.073 --> 00:02:31.774 Even professionally. 00:02:31.791 --> 00:02:33.513 I'm a public speaker, like tonight. 00:02:33.513 --> 00:02:34.833 This is what I do. 00:02:34.833 --> 00:02:37.846 I give keynote speeches, and I really like it 00:02:37.846 --> 00:02:41.126 as long as I can draw my audience into my story. 00:02:41.931 --> 00:02:46.458 Because the very moment I see somebody is not paying attention - 00:02:46.458 --> 00:02:49.448 for example, when somebody is looking at his smartphone - 00:02:49.848 --> 00:02:52.069 (snap) it just happens: 00:02:52.069 --> 00:02:54.115 I take it personally. 00:02:54.722 --> 00:02:55.898 Relax! 00:02:55.898 --> 00:02:58.448 You are safe tonight. Don't worry. 00:02:58.448 --> 00:03:00.207 Feel free to take your smartphones, 00:03:00.207 --> 00:03:02.514 and you can even start talking to your neighbor. 00:03:02.514 --> 00:03:04.916 I will not take it personally. 00:03:04.916 --> 00:03:06.076 Why not? 00:03:06.076 --> 00:03:10.256 Because now, here and now, I'm very conscious that this can happen. 00:03:10.256 --> 00:03:13.980 And more importantly, I have a strategy to deal with it. 00:03:15.039 --> 00:03:19.360 So tonight, I would like to share this strategy with you. 00:03:19.906 --> 00:03:21.406 Are you interested? 00:03:21.910 --> 00:03:23.414 Cool. 00:03:23.414 --> 00:03:26.866 Because, I guess, I'm not the only person in this room 00:03:26.866 --> 00:03:29.673 who sometimes takes things personally, right? 00:03:30.636 --> 00:03:32.003 Imagine - 00:03:32.253 --> 00:03:35.571 imagine you invite a friend to go to the movies, and she replies, 00:03:35.571 --> 00:03:37.584 "Oh, sorry, I have to work." 00:03:37.934 --> 00:03:41.304 But you see a picture on social media 00:03:41.304 --> 00:03:45.748 of her having dinner with some friends that very night! 00:03:47.243 --> 00:03:50.935 Or imagine you really have worked very hard on a project. 00:03:50.935 --> 00:03:52.998 You're really proud of the end result, 00:03:53.639 --> 00:03:57.210 but the only thing you get is criticism. 00:03:57.299 --> 00:03:58.621 So you come home, 00:03:58.621 --> 00:04:03.023 and you would like to wind down and share this terrible experience. 00:04:03.227 --> 00:04:05.305 But while you're telling your story, 00:04:05.305 --> 00:04:08.902 the other one walks away to switch on the TV. 00:04:09.804 --> 00:04:13.353 Now, who would take one of these situations personally? 00:04:13.353 --> 00:04:15.070 Show me hands, come on. 00:04:15.563 --> 00:04:17.100 Lots of you. 00:04:18.050 --> 00:04:19.300 Why? 00:04:19.790 --> 00:04:22.136 Why do we take things personally? 00:04:22.145 --> 00:04:25.186 Somebody says or does something and bam! 00:04:25.186 --> 00:04:30.567 We feel hurt, neglected, offended, betrayed by the other one. 00:04:30.567 --> 00:04:32.097 That's what we believe, though. 00:04:32.097 --> 00:04:34.260 It's the other person's fault. 00:04:34.300 --> 00:04:36.636 He's responsible for what we feel. 00:04:36.636 --> 00:04:38.392 He's the one to blame. 00:04:38.392 --> 00:04:40.427 Now, hang on, hang on. 00:04:40.427 --> 00:04:42.293 Who says that? 00:04:42.293 --> 00:04:44.408 Which part of us is speaking? 00:04:44.408 --> 00:04:45.674 [Why?] 00:04:45.674 --> 00:04:46.684 [Ego] 00:04:46.684 --> 00:04:48.391 It's our ego. 00:04:48.521 --> 00:04:53.161 Our ego thinks that others should take us into consideration. 00:04:53.161 --> 00:04:56.123 Our ego doesn't want to be criticized, hell no! 00:04:56.123 --> 00:04:58.974 Our ego wants to be acknowledged: 00:04:58.974 --> 00:05:00.404 "I'm right!" 00:05:02.189 --> 00:05:04.163 Is this what you want? 00:05:04.733 --> 00:05:06.808 Do you want to be right? 00:05:06.808 --> 00:05:08.150 [Do you want to be right?] 00:05:08.150 --> 00:05:09.159 (Sigh) 00:05:09.159 --> 00:05:10.705 That's exhausting. 00:05:10.705 --> 00:05:13.916 When my ego takes over, I'm fighting all day. 00:05:13.916 --> 00:05:17.120 I'm in a constant struggle with the rest of the world. 00:05:17.667 --> 00:05:19.453 And it drains my energy. 00:05:19.840 --> 00:05:24.695 Wouldn't it be so much easier to not take things personally? 00:05:24.975 --> 00:05:28.134 Because then no one has power over you. 00:05:28.134 --> 00:05:29.268 You're free. 00:05:29.268 --> 00:05:31.530 You experience much more harmony and connection 00:05:31.530 --> 00:05:33.435 between you and other people. 00:05:33.435 --> 00:05:34.595 Of course! 00:05:34.595 --> 00:05:38.100 Because your energy can go towards nice things 00:05:38.100 --> 00:05:42.914 instead of endlessly battling against the things that drive you crazy. 00:05:43.917 --> 00:05:46.063 So the question is 00:05:46.063 --> 00:05:51.803 do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? 00:05:53.044 --> 00:05:55.281 I know what some of you are thinking: 00:05:55.281 --> 00:05:59.474 "I will make sure I will be happy by being right." 00:06:00.867 --> 00:06:02.829 Well, how do you do it? 00:06:02.829 --> 00:06:07.999 How to become happy by not taking things personally? 00:06:08.347 --> 00:06:13.063 You are standing at the kickoff of the match of your life, 00:06:13.063 --> 00:06:17.713 the match by which you will learn how to stop taking things personally. 00:06:17.992 --> 00:06:22.173 So as a referee, I brought my coin for the toss. 00:06:22.487 --> 00:06:28.480 And every coin has two sides: heads or tails. 00:06:28.480 --> 00:06:30.884 And they stand for two strategies, 00:06:30.884 --> 00:06:34.707 two strategies to no longer taking things personally. 00:06:35.518 --> 00:06:37.532 Sir, sir, good evening. 00:06:37.532 --> 00:06:40.561 You're the captain of this huge team. 00:06:40.561 --> 00:06:42.697 You can choose: heads or tails? 00:06:42.697 --> 00:06:43.710 ("Captain") Heads. 00:06:43.710 --> 00:06:44.910 Okay. 00:06:46.540 --> 00:06:48.974 You're lucky. It's heads! 00:06:48.974 --> 00:06:51.185 Are you ready for the first strategy? 00:06:51.395 --> 00:06:53.625 OK, here it comes. 00:06:53.625 --> 00:06:55.015 First strategy - 00:06:55.015 --> 00:06:57.265 It's not about me. 00:06:57.905 --> 00:07:00.382 What do you mean it's not about me? 00:07:00.872 --> 00:07:03.233 This sounds weird, doesn't it? 00:07:03.233 --> 00:07:08.622 Because when I take things personally, I'm convinced it is about me. 00:07:08.622 --> 00:07:11.946 When I see someone is looking at his phone, I feel offended. 00:07:12.006 --> 00:07:16.226 I think, "Hey, I've put so much effort and time in this presentation. 00:07:16.606 --> 00:07:18.185 I want respect." 00:07:18.185 --> 00:07:21.675 I think, "Me, myself and I." 00:07:22.371 --> 00:07:24.651 Sounds familiar, no? Yeah. 00:07:24.651 --> 00:07:28.911 But in fact, it isn't about me. 00:07:29.048 --> 00:07:33.520 What if I try to look at it from the other person's perspective, 00:07:33.520 --> 00:07:35.271 asking myself, 00:07:35.271 --> 00:07:39.664 "Why? Why is he or she looking at his or her smartphone?" 00:07:39.765 --> 00:07:44.489 Maybe he has just received an important message, one he has been waiting for. 00:07:44.794 --> 00:07:49.512 Or the topic of my presentation is not really his cup of tea. 00:07:49.512 --> 00:07:50.711 Could be! 00:07:50.711 --> 00:07:53.567 Or, on the contrary, he finds it very interesting 00:07:53.567 --> 00:07:56.294 and he wants to take notes on his smartphone. 00:07:56.294 --> 00:07:58.645 Very smart to do that, by the way. 00:07:59.809 --> 00:08:05.243 I simply need to shift my focus from "me" to "we," 00:08:05.461 --> 00:08:07.971 and I won't take it personally. 00:08:08.679 --> 00:08:11.459 If I try to see the intention of the other one, 00:08:11.885 --> 00:08:16.456 I make space for understanding instead of irritation. 00:08:17.075 --> 00:08:19.178 Does this ring a bell with you? 00:08:19.960 --> 00:08:22.660 When you put your son to bed but he doesn't want to, 00:08:22.660 --> 00:08:26.546 he throws himself on the floor, kicking and screaming "I hate you!" 00:08:27.523 --> 00:08:29.726 Do you take that personally? 00:08:30.268 --> 00:08:31.269 No! 00:08:31.269 --> 00:08:34.839 No, you don't because you know this is not about me. 00:08:34.839 --> 00:08:37.377 It's about what he wants, what he needs. 00:08:37.377 --> 00:08:42.022 He's angry because he just wants to stay up a bit longer, that's all. 00:08:42.022 --> 00:08:45.379 So the first strategy to not take it personally is 00:08:45.379 --> 00:08:46.625 it's not about me. 00:08:46.625 --> 00:08:50.645 Look at the other person's intention. 00:08:51.139 --> 00:08:54.390 When a driver is tailgating and flashing his lights, 00:08:54.390 --> 00:08:57.005 he probably does it because he's in a hurry. 00:08:57.005 --> 00:08:59.515 It's not about me, you see? 00:09:00.096 --> 00:09:02.813 It's as simple as that. 00:09:05.243 --> 00:09:06.773 In theory. 00:09:06.913 --> 00:09:10.693 Because in real life, it turns out to be a hell of a job. 00:09:12.078 --> 00:09:14.473 Do you have any idea, ladies and gentlemen, 00:09:14.473 --> 00:09:17.873 how many thoughts our brain produces a day? 00:09:20.352 --> 00:09:21.981 50,000! 00:09:22.400 --> 00:09:25.430 And guess how many of them are positive? 00:09:25.758 --> 00:09:28.308 Only 10,000. 00:09:28.308 --> 00:09:34.758 So this means that 80% of what we think are negative thoughts. 00:09:34.758 --> 00:09:36.608 That's a lot, isn't it? 00:09:38.216 --> 00:09:41.043 When you see two colleagues talking to each other, 00:09:41.043 --> 00:09:45.234 and just then, they look at you and they start laughing, 00:09:45.234 --> 00:09:46.494 do you think, 00:09:46.494 --> 00:09:51.425 "Oh, they must have noticed my new shoes and they want them too"? 00:09:51.425 --> 00:09:52.586 No! 00:09:52.586 --> 00:09:53.836 Or do you think, 00:09:53.836 --> 00:09:56.356 "Darn, they're laughing at me. 00:09:56.356 --> 00:09:58.581 They are gossiping about me." 00:09:59.114 --> 00:10:02.130 So it takes a lot of effort to correct yourself and say, 00:10:02.130 --> 00:10:04.260 "Hang on. I have no clue! 00:10:04.260 --> 00:10:08.419 They might be laughing about something that has nothing to do with me." 00:10:09.350 --> 00:10:12.957 So seeing the positive intention of the other one 00:10:12.957 --> 00:10:17.577 requires a lot of discipline and training. 00:10:18.542 --> 00:10:22.232 And that's why I became a referee: 00:10:22.432 --> 00:10:26.712 to train my brain not to take things personally. 00:10:27.199 --> 00:10:30.239 I train my brain an hour and a half a week, 00:10:30.239 --> 00:10:31.618 the entire period of a match. 00:10:31.618 --> 00:10:33.858 I say this for the football dummies. 00:10:34.138 --> 00:10:36.247 Now, before the match, I'm warming up. 00:10:36.247 --> 00:10:38.447 Not only physically, but also mentally. 00:10:38.447 --> 00:10:42.198 I give myself some pep talk in the dressing room: 00:10:42.198 --> 00:10:43.320 "Frederik, watch out. 00:10:43.320 --> 00:10:45.812 Lots of things will trigger you during the game. 00:10:45.812 --> 00:10:49.342 You're going to make decisions who some will not agree with 00:10:49.342 --> 00:10:51.880 and they will shout unpleasant things at you." 00:10:51.900 --> 00:10:53.129 So I tell myself, 00:10:53.129 --> 00:10:56.003 "Frederik, don't take it personally. 00:10:56.003 --> 00:10:57.768 It's not about me. 00:10:58.927 --> 00:11:00.908 They just want to be right. 00:11:00.908 --> 00:11:04.978 They simply want their team to win." 00:11:04.978 --> 00:11:06.368 You see? 00:11:06.368 --> 00:11:09.530 When I focus on the intention of the other person, 00:11:09.530 --> 00:11:12.126 there's no need to take it personally. 00:11:12.885 --> 00:11:16.310 When I apply this strategy very consciously, 00:11:16.310 --> 00:11:20.135 I admit it, I feel much more at ease on the field. 00:11:20.203 --> 00:11:23.204 When the coach, the players or the spectators 00:11:23.204 --> 00:11:25.624 do not agree with my decisions, 00:11:25.624 --> 00:11:28.994 I'm less easily thrown off balance. 00:11:29.820 --> 00:11:33.905 This strategy, ladies and gentlemen, works! 00:11:36.200 --> 00:11:38.600 But not always, unfortunately. 00:11:38.600 --> 00:11:43.174 Because some words they shout at me, like here, do really hit a raw nerve: 00:11:43.352 --> 00:11:45.790 "You're a loser. Choose another hobby! 00:11:45.790 --> 00:11:47.538 You know what? Go fishing!" 00:11:48.400 --> 00:11:49.669 Ouch! 00:11:51.573 --> 00:11:54.557 Maybe they are right. 00:11:55.930 --> 00:11:58.200 Perhaps I took the wrong decision. 00:11:58.201 --> 00:11:59.687 Maybe I am a loser. 00:11:59.687 --> 00:12:03.415 Honestly, that's how I feel sometimes. 00:12:04.783 --> 00:12:06.360 Do you see this? 00:12:06.558 --> 00:12:10.180 Every coin has a flip side. 00:12:10.357 --> 00:12:15.147 When this first strategy - it's not about me - doesn't work, 00:12:16.150 --> 00:12:19.172 it simply means "It is about me!" 00:12:19.172 --> 00:12:20.557 [It is about me.] 00:12:22.062 --> 00:12:24.762 I have to look in the mirror and question myself. 00:12:24.823 --> 00:12:27.950 As a beginning referee, I still feel insecure. 00:12:27.950 --> 00:12:29.087 Especially me. 00:12:29.087 --> 00:12:31.667 I never played soccer. 00:12:31.667 --> 00:12:32.670 It is about me 00:12:32.670 --> 00:12:36.457 because it has something to do with my insecurity, 00:12:36.909 --> 00:12:38.389 I doubt about myself. 00:12:39.180 --> 00:12:42.438 Or a part of myself that I haven't come to terms with. 00:12:44.384 --> 00:12:46.760 Do you see my point, ladies and gentlemen? 00:12:47.175 --> 00:12:48.611 Even if I know 00:12:48.611 --> 00:12:52.187 that a driver is only tailgating because he's in a hurry, 00:12:52.187 --> 00:12:57.336 I still take it personally when he honks or he's flashing his headlights. 00:12:57.336 --> 00:12:58.959 So I must question myself. 00:12:58.959 --> 00:13:02.873 Probably I was driving too slowly. 00:13:02.887 --> 00:13:04.244 I'm aware of it. 00:13:04.244 --> 00:13:08.592 I just don't like that clumsy part of myself. 00:13:08.592 --> 00:13:11.519 Why else would I take it personally, right? 00:13:12.383 --> 00:13:13.543 When I say, 00:13:13.543 --> 00:13:16.633 "Ladies and gentlemen, you are an orange," 00:13:17.491 --> 00:13:19.511 who would take this personally? 00:13:20.081 --> 00:13:21.302 No one, right? 00:13:21.302 --> 00:13:22.357 Why not? 00:13:22.357 --> 00:13:26.877 Because nothing in you believes that you are in fact an orange. 00:13:26.877 --> 00:13:28.267 An orange? 00:13:28.580 --> 00:13:32.660 Unless, of course, that you're a ginger and you feel bad because of that. 00:13:32.660 --> 00:13:34.679 Which is luckily not the case with me. 00:13:34.679 --> 00:13:40.217 But - but when someone says, "Frederik, you are so selfish." 00:13:40.905 --> 00:13:41.898 Ouch! 00:13:41.898 --> 00:13:43.478 I do take it personally. 00:13:43.478 --> 00:13:47.478 And it only happens because I know there is some truth in it. 00:13:48.320 --> 00:13:49.760 If I'm honest, 00:13:50.493 --> 00:13:54.553 I'm aware of the fact that I do not always take into account other people's needs. 00:13:57.065 --> 00:13:59.339 When you are being criticized 00:13:59.339 --> 00:14:01.153 and it hurts, 00:14:01.153 --> 00:14:06.417 chances are big that this is rooted in your childhood. 00:14:06.950 --> 00:14:10.072 Maybe as a child you were never good enough. 00:14:10.326 --> 00:14:12.251 When you came home with a 9 out of 10, 00:14:12.251 --> 00:14:14.796 they said, "Hey, and why not a 10?" 00:14:15.625 --> 00:14:16.791 You see? 00:14:16.791 --> 00:14:22.936 We can only take things personally if it somehow touches a raw nerve. 00:14:23.709 --> 00:14:28.099 And that's the moment to give yourself some empathy. 00:14:29.125 --> 00:14:32.930 Ooh, this hurts. Darn! 00:14:33.608 --> 00:14:36.505 I'm longing so hard for recognition, 00:14:37.760 --> 00:14:39.950 and I feel sad if I don't get it. 00:14:40.381 --> 00:14:41.571 You see? 00:14:41.930 --> 00:14:44.268 And you can also - why not? - speak up. 00:14:44.414 --> 00:14:47.664 Just tell the other one what's going on inside you. 00:14:48.106 --> 00:14:51.500 "Hey, I'm in the middle of my story here, 00:14:51.500 --> 00:14:54.087 and you just walk away to switch on the TV? 00:14:54.087 --> 00:14:56.900 It feels as if you don't care about my story. 00:14:56.900 --> 00:14:58.530 It's not nice." 00:14:59.206 --> 00:15:01.960 By opening up, by being vulnerable, 00:15:01.960 --> 00:15:05.418 by telling what you feel without blaming the other one, 00:15:05.418 --> 00:15:08.943 you increase the chance that the other one will understand you 00:15:08.943 --> 00:15:11.381 and take your needs into account. 00:15:11.839 --> 00:15:13.639 Do you see what I mean? 00:15:14.585 --> 00:15:16.040 To conclude - 00:15:16.040 --> 00:15:19.380 how not to take things personally. 00:15:19.760 --> 00:15:22.600 One - it is not about me! 00:15:23.700 --> 00:15:26.695 Look at the other person's intention. 00:15:26.695 --> 00:15:28.227 If that doesn't work: 00:15:28.227 --> 00:15:31.167 two - it is about me. 00:15:31.167 --> 00:15:33.737 Give yourself empathy and speak up. 00:15:36.560 --> 00:15:38.210 Ladies and gentlemen, 00:15:38.279 --> 00:15:41.399 please, pretty please, do not take it personally, 00:15:41.399 --> 00:15:45.609 but I really do hope that you will take a couple of things personally 00:15:45.609 --> 00:15:47.084 within the next hours and days. 00:15:47.084 --> 00:15:51.104 Only if you do, you can test out these two strategies. 00:15:52.044 --> 00:15:58.004 Imagine, just imagine if we could all put this in practice. 00:15:58.140 --> 00:16:02.425 Wouldn't that enhance our relationships enormously? 00:16:03.000 --> 00:16:06.086 Together we could create a better world. 00:16:06.779 --> 00:16:08.467 Wouldn't that be great? 00:16:10.026 --> 00:16:14.440 And as a referee, I even earn some money by it. 00:16:15.127 --> 00:16:18.807 Who doesn't like 20 euros to learn how not to take things personally? 00:16:18.807 --> 00:16:20.237 Show me hands. 00:16:20.339 --> 00:16:21.369 Show me hands. 00:16:21.369 --> 00:16:22.578 Oh, so many. 00:16:25.451 --> 00:16:27.629 Who still wants the 20 euros now? 00:16:34.677 --> 00:16:37.287 Who still wants the 20 euros now? 00:16:40.612 --> 00:16:42.750 Who still wants the 20 euros now? 00:16:48.845 --> 00:16:50.845 And who still wants them now? 00:16:52.099 --> 00:16:55.175 Why do you still want these 20 euros? 00:16:55.424 --> 00:16:58.134 (Audience member) Because it's still 20 euros! 00:16:58.322 --> 00:17:04.271 People may attack you, criticize you or ignore you. 00:17:05.127 --> 00:17:11.807 They can crumple you up with their words, spit you out or even walk all over you. 00:17:12.452 --> 00:17:14.279 But remember: 00:17:14.599 --> 00:17:16.826 whatever they do or say, 00:17:18.772 --> 00:17:21.489 you will always keep your value. 00:17:23.313 --> 00:17:24.482 Thank you. 00:17:24.482 --> 00:17:26.297 (Applause)