[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:12.80,0:00:15.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Good evening, Good evening\NHow are you?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:16.56,0:00:18.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Are you good?\NGreat.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:18.83,0:00:20.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Welcome welcome \Nwelcome to this match.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:21.24,0:00:27.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This match will take exactly 18 minutes.\NAnd you're all part of the same team:
Dialogue: 0,0:00:28.81,0:00:30.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mechelen.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:30.27,0:00:31.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ok.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:31.12,0:00:36.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hey guys, I would like to see fair play\Non the field, respect, and positivity.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:37.38,0:00:41.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Is that ok for everyone?\NCool. Good luck.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:43.50,0:00:48.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One year ago, I decided I wanted \Nto become a football referee,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:48.79,0:00:51.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not because of the money though
Dialogue: 0,0:00:51.55,0:00:53.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I only get paid 20 euros per match.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:53.96,0:00:57.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, I won't really get rich by it.\NWill I? No.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:57.60,0:01:01.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I decided to become a referee \Nfor 2 other reasons:
Dialogue: 0,0:01:02.30,0:01:07.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One, to stay in good shape.\NTwo, because I wanted to learn
Dialogue: 0,0:01:08.12,0:01:12.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How not to take things personally?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:13.50,0:01:18.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can see some people nodding, \Nyou're probably thinking being a referee
Dialogue: 0,0:01:18.80,0:01:22.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is a perfect environment to learn \Nhow not to take things personally.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:22.98,0:01:23.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Isn't it?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:23.96,0:01:29.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because the spectators hardly ever \Nshouted encouraging or positive things.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:29.29,0:01:30.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No. \NWhat do they shout?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.88,0:01:31.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Come on, come on.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:31.71,0:01:35.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Loser, Are you blind?]\NYeah, yeah good.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:35.84,0:01:38.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,As a referee, I'm the scapegoat.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:39.65,0:01:43.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Apparently, I'm always wrong.\NIt's always my fault.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:44.41,0:01:49.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I wanted to learn \Nhow not to take all this personally.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:51.04,0:01:53.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because I really struggle with this.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:54.10,0:02:00.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For example, when I drive slowly, because \NI'm trying to find this specific location,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:00.26,0:02:04.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and somebody is just driving behind me,\NI feel hunted,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:04.82,0:02:08.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,especially when they start honking, \Nand flashing their headlights.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:09.23,0:02:10.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Sigh]
Dialogue: 0,0:02:10.17,0:02:13.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I take it personally.\NI know, I shouldn't.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:14.44,0:02:17.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But it just happens, \Ndo you see what I mean?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:19.03,0:02:22.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or when somebody cancels \Nan appointment last minute
Dialogue: 0,0:02:22.38,0:02:25.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I get the feeling that \NI'm not important enough.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:25.57,0:02:28.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Again, I take it personally.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:30.07,0:02:31.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Even professionally.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:31.82,0:02:34.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm a public speaker like tonight.\NThis is what I do.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:34.83,0:02:37.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I give keynote speeches \Nand I really like it
Dialogue: 0,0:02:37.85,0:02:41.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as long as I can draw my audience \Ninto my story.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:41.66,0:02:44.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because the very, the very moment \NI see somebody
Dialogue: 0,0:02:44.34,0:02:49.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is not paying attention, for example,\Nwhen somebody is looking at his smartphone
Dialogue: 0,0:02:49.88,0:02:53.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it just happens.\NI take it personally.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:54.72,0:02:58.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Relax! You are safe tonight.\NDon't worry.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:58.21,0:03:00.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Feel free to take your smartphones
Dialogue: 0,0:03:00.06,0:03:02.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you can even start talking to\Nyour neighbor.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:02.34,0:03:05.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I will not take it personally.\NWhy not?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:06.02,0:03:07.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because now, here and now,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:07.59,0:03:10.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm very conscious that this can happen
Dialogue: 0,0:03:10.17,0:03:13.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and more importantly \NI have a strategy to deal with it.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:15.04,0:03:19.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So tonight, I would like \Nto share this strategy with you
Dialogue: 0,0:03:19.66,0:03:22.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Are you interested?\NCool.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:23.30,0:03:27.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because I guess I am not the only person \Nin this room who sometimes
Dialogue: 0,0:03:27.33,0:03:29.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,take things personally, \NRight?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:30.43,0:03:35.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Imagine you invite a friend to go to \Nthe movies and she replies:
Dialogue: 0,0:03:35.69,0:03:37.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Oh sorry, I have to work."
Dialogue: 0,0:03:37.81,0:03:41.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But you see a picture on social media
Dialogue: 0,0:03:41.14,0:03:45.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of her having dinner with some friends, \Nthat very night.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:46.99,0:03:50.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or imagine you really have worked\Nvery hard on a project.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:50.94,0:03:52.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're really proud of the end results.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:53.64,0:03:57.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But the only thing you get is criticism.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:57.30,0:04:01.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So you come home and would like \Nto wind down and share
Dialogue: 0,0:04:01.35,0:04:03.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this terrible experience.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:03.23,0:04:05.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But while you're telling your story
Dialogue: 0,0:04:05.30,0:04:08.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the other one walks away, \Nto switch on the TV.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:09.39,0:04:13.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, who would take one of these \Nsituations personally.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:13.32,0:04:14.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Show me hands, come on.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:15.47,0:04:19.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Lots of you.\NWhy?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:19.79,0:04:22.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,WHY DO WE TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:22.14,0:04:24.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Somebody says or does something, \Nand BAM!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:25.19,0:04:30.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We feel hurt, neglected, offended, \Nbetrayed by the other one.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:30.50,0:04:32.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's what we believe, though.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:32.10,0:04:36.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's the other person's fault.\NHe's responsible for what we feel.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:36.64,0:04:39.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He's the one to blame.\NNow, hang on, hang on.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:40.32,0:04:44.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Who said that?\NWhich part of us is speaking?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:46.52,0:04:49.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's our ego.\NOur ego thinks that
Dialogue: 0,0:04:49.93,0:04:53.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,others should take us \Ninto consideration.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:53.16,0:04:55.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Our ego doesn't want to be criticized. \NHell, no.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:55.76,0:04:59.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Our ego wants to be acknowledged.\NI'm right.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:00.89,0:05:01.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Sigh)
Dialogue: 0,0:05:02.06,0:05:06.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Is this what you want? \NDo you want to be right?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:08.26,0:05:10.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Sigh)\NThat's exhausting.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:10.70,0:05:13.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When my ego takes over, \NI'm fighting all day.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:13.77,0:05:16.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm in a constant struggle \Nwith the rest of the world.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:17.52,0:05:19.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it drains my energy.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:19.66,0:05:24.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Wouldn't it be so much easier \Nto not take things personally?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:24.50,0:05:28.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because then, no one \Nhas power over you.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:28.13,0:05:28.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're free.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:28.98,0:05:31.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You experience much more \Nharmony and connection
Dialogue: 0,0:05:31.53,0:05:33.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,between you and other people.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:33.44,0:05:37.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Of course, because your energy \Ncan go towards nice things,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:37.78,0:05:42.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,instead of endlessly battling \Nagainst things that drive you crazy.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:43.92,0:05:48.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, the question is:\NDo you want to be right?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:49.18,0:05:52.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or do you want to be happy?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:53.04,0:05:55.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know what some of you are thinking,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:55.28,0:05:59.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I will make sure I will be happy \Nby being right?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:59.47,0:06:02.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, how do you do it?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:02.83,0:06:07.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How to become happy by \Nnot taking things personally?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You are standing at the kick off of the match of your life
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The match by with you will learn how to stop taking things personally
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So as a referee, I brought my coin for the task and every coin has two sides
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,has or too
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They stand for two strategies, two strategies to no longer taking things personally.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sir, sir, good evening.\NYou're the captain of this huge team.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can choose, has to tails?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Has\NYou're lucky, it's has.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Are you ready for the first strategy?\NOk, here it come.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,First strategy.\NIt's not about me.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What do you mean it's not about me?\NThis sounds weird.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Doesn't it?\NBecause when I take things personally,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm convinced it is about me.\NWhen I see someone is looking at his phone,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I feel offended.\NI think:
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hey, I put so much effort and excitement in presentation
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I want to be respected.\NI think me, myself and I.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sound familiar, no?\NYeah.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But in fact, it isn't about me.\NWhat if I try to look at it from the other person's perspective?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Asking myself, Why?\NWhy is he or she looking at his or her smartphone?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Maybe, he has just received an important message, one he has been waiting for.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or the topic of my representation is not really his cup of tea, could be?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or in other country, he finds it very interesting and he wants to take note on his smartphone.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Very smart to do that by the way.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I simply need to shift my focus from Me to We.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I won't take it personally.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If I try to see the attention of the other one
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I make space from the standing instead of irritation.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Does this ring a bell with you?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When you put your son to bed, but he doesn't want to
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he throws himself on the floor,\Nkicking and streaming
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I hate you".\NDo you take it personally?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No, you don't.\NBecause you know this is not about me,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this's about what he wants, what he needs, he's angry because he just want to stay up a little bit longer.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's all.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So the first strategy, to not take it personally is It's not about me.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Look at the other person's intention.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When a driver is tegating and flashing his light he probably does it because he's in a hurry
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's not about me\NYou see?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's as simple as that in theory.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because in real life it turns out to be a hellover job.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you have any ideas lady and gentleman how many thoughts our brain produces a day?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,50,000. \NAnd guess how many of them are positive?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Only 10,000.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So this means 80% of what we think all negative thoughts.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's a lot, isn't it?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When you see 2 colleagues talking to each other
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And just then, they're looking you and they start laughing
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you think:" Oh, they must have noticed my new shoes and they want them too."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, what do you think:
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Darn, they're laughing at me, they're gossiping about me."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So it takes a lot of effort to correct yourself and say:
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Hang on! I have no clue."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They might be laughing about something that has nothing to do with me.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, seeing the positive intention of the other one requires a lot of discipline and training
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that's why I became a referee.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To train my brain not to take things personally.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I train my brain an hour half a week the entire period of my job I chasing to the football dummies.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And before the match I'm warming up
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not only physically but also mentally
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I give myself some pep talk in a dressing room
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Fedrick watch out, lots of things will trigger you during the game, you going to make decision
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who someone not agree with.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they will shout and blessing things at you
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so I tell myself "Fedrick, don't take it personally, it's not about me."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"They just want to be right, they simply want their team to win."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You see? \NWhen I focus on the intention of the other person there's no need to take it personally
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when I apply this strategy very consciously I agree with
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I feel much more ideas on the field
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when the coach the players or the spectators
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,do not agree with my decision
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm less easily to throw off balance
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this strategy lady and gentleman works.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not always unfortunately.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because some words they shout at me like here:
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Dude, really hit the road nerve?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You're a loser, choose another hobby!"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You know what? Go fishing."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ouch
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Maybe they're all right."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Perhaps I took the wrong position."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Maybe I am a loser."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Honestly, that's how I feel sometimes.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You see this?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Every coin has a flip side.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When this first strategy, it's not about me doesn't work.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It simply means "It is about me."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have to look in the mirror and question myself
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I has a beginning as a referee and I still feel insecure, especially me, I never play soccer.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It is about me because it has something to do with my insecurity I doubt about myself.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,All of part of myself that I haven't come to term with.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You see my point lady and gentleman?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Even if I know that the driver is only tearigating because he's in a hurry
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I still take it personally when he horns or flashing his head light.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I must question myself probably I was driving too slowly.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm aware of it.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I just don't like that clumsy part of myself.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why else would I take it personally?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Right?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When I say, lady and gentleman, you are an orange.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Who would take this personally?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No one, right? \NWhy not?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because nope of you believe that you are in fact an orange.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,An orange?\NUnless of course you're a ginger, and you feel bad because of that.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Which a luckily not the case with me.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But, when someone said "Fedrick, you are so selfish."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ouch
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I do take it personally.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it only happens because I know there is some truth in it.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,come honest
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,i'm aware of the fact i do not always take it to account other people needs.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when you are being critisized, and it hurts.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,chance's all big that this is rooted in your childhood
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,maybe as a child you will never good enough, when you came home with a 9 out of 10.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,hey, and why another 10?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you see
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we can only take things personally
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if it somehow touches a roll nerve
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that's the moment to give yourself some empathy.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, this hurts darn.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I logging so hard for recognition.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I feel sad if I don't get it.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You see
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you can also, why not, speak up?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just tell the other one what's going on inside you
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,hey I'm in the middle of my story here and you just walk away to switch on the TV
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it feels like you don't care about my story
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's not nice
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by opening up, by being vulnerable by telling what you feel without blaming the other one
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you increase the chance that the other one with understand you
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and take your needs into account.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You see what I mean
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To conclude
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,how not to take things personally?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,one, it is not about me.\NLook at the other person's intention.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If that doesn't work.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Two, It is about me.\NGive yourself empathy, and speak up.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Lady and gentleman.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Please, probably do not take personally. But I really do hope that you will take a couple of things personally
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,within the next hours and days, only if you do, you can test out these two strategies.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,imagine
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just imagine
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we could all put this in practice
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,wouldn't that enhance our relationships enourmously
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,together we could create a better world
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,wouldn't that be great
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and as a referee I even earn some money by it
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Who doesn't like 20 euros to learn how not to take things personally?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,show me hands
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,show me hand.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,oh, so many.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who still want a 20 euros now?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who still want a 20 euros now?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who still want a 20 euros now?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and who still want these now?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,why you still want these 20 euros now?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Because it still comes to you.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,People may attack you, criticize you or ignore you.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They can crumble you up with their word, spit you out or even word all over you.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but remember whatever they do or say
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you'll always keep your value.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you.