Coffeezilla,

you have previously only made

exceptional and

well-researched videos,

but now that you did one about me,

that track record means nothing.

Coffee, you are incredibly talented

and remarkably handsome,

but you're basically a cop.

But, as opposed to telling you,

I am going to show you

the discrepancies I caught in your video

about my scam.

One: you did not disclose

that I hired a bunch of criminals

for this project.

Are you trying to protect them?

Or are you trying to protect me

from something that arguably

makes me look worse?

Do you like me, is that why?

Do you have a tiny little crush on me?

'Cause if-- if you did,

that wouldn't even be

that big of a problem,

I'd actually be kinda

happy about tha--

Two: you contacted my manager

instead of me

directly for comment.

Do you think he's gonna

get that message through to me? 
(SCOFFS)

That's not his job.

I mean, unless it is.

In which case...

well, I don't really

know what he does.

Then, when you did

get through to me,

it was on Christmas Eve.

Do you want to ruin

this little guy's Christmas?

I was drinkin' eggnog with the homies,

roasting chestnuts by the fire.

What is wrong with you?

Now, let me reiterate:

I did hire a bunch of criminals

who scammed people.

But the real victim of all of this...

is my reputation,

which I have spent so much time and money

trying to rehabilitate

ever since that incident,

the thing-- w-we don't talk--

we don't have to... we--

we don't have to talk--

Coffeezilla, look.

You're a cutie,

you're a little cutie pie,

I'm not gonna deny that,

and I love you like a dear friend.

But you are a fraud,

and I hate you,

and I will see you in court.