[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:13.39,0:00:18.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In 1990, I traveled to South Africa\Nas part of my work with Outward Bound.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:19.41,0:00:21.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That was life-changing for me.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:22.12,0:00:26.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nelson Mandela had just been released\Nfrom prison a few months before,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:27.28,0:00:29.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and apartheid was being dismantled.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:30.10,0:00:33.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I worked with mining groups\Nand banks and other businesses
Dialogue: 0,0:00:33.85,0:00:36.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,facilitating interracial\Nteam-building courses,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:36.71,0:00:39.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,each lasting eight days.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:40.30,0:00:43.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The mining guys all worked\Non the same shifts together,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:43.34,0:00:44.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and yet,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:45.33,0:00:47.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on the same shifts across race,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:47.42,0:00:49.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they never ate meals together,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:49.54,0:00:52.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they never shared the same dorm rooms,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:52.38,0:00:54.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they never drank beer together.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:54.75,0:00:56.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One white miner’s wife told him,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:56.46,0:01:00.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,“If you sleep in the same room\Nas a black man, I will divorce you.”
Dialogue: 0,0:01:00.72,0:01:05.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We started intensive team activities\Nminutes after they arrived.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:05.89,0:01:08.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At first, I was inspired and connected
Dialogue: 0,0:01:08.26,0:01:11.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with the black miners\Nfrom different tribal groups,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:11.01,0:01:15.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who would always spontaneously sing\Nand dance around the campfire.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:15.99,0:01:20.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Over time, I found that I had a lot\Nin common with the white men as well.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:20.16,0:01:22.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They were good guys one on one,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:22.38,0:01:25.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and yet, they were part of a system\Nthat was oppressive.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:25.87,0:01:29.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They were in power,\Nand others conformed to their system.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.24,0:01:31.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I found over time
Dialogue: 0,0:01:31.63,0:01:33.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I had more in common\Nwith the white men
Dialogue: 0,0:01:33.69,0:01:35.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,than I was comfortable with.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:35.18,0:01:38.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I looked into their eyes and I saw myself.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:38.29,0:01:42.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I felt compelled to come back to the US\Nand work with people like me,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:42.06,0:01:43.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,other white men.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:44.64,0:01:48.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Back in the US, I spent\Nseven years researching:
Dialogue: 0,0:01:48.43,0:01:50.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How do white men learn about diversity?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:50.77,0:01:52.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What triggers our awareness
Dialogue: 0,0:01:52.77,0:01:56.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and our movement towards being\Nadvocates for diversity?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:56.05,0:01:58.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In my dissertation research,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:58.93,0:02:00.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I found the white men I studied
Dialogue: 0,0:02:00.54,0:02:03.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,learn almost everything\Nfrom women and people of color.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:04.59,0:02:06.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They didn’t turn to other white men,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:06.94,0:02:09.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and in fact disconnected\Nfrom other white men
Dialogue: 0,0:02:09.05,0:02:10.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and were angry at them.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:11.25,0:02:13.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was presenting these results\Nat a national conference
Dialogue: 0,0:02:13.83,0:02:15.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and a black woman stood up,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:15.100,0:02:17.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and she said,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:17.54,0:02:20.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,“If that’s the pathway to diversity\Nfor white men, I’m exhausted.”
Dialogue: 0,0:02:20.76,0:02:22.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:22.17,0:02:24.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,“I don’t have the energy\Nto educate all of you.”
Dialogue: 0,0:02:24.46,0:02:26.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:26.02,0:02:27.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And she was right!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:28.31,0:02:31.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Another colleague of mine,\Nalso with an Outward Bound background,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:31.39,0:02:32.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bill Proudman,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:32.60,0:02:34.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,had an idea to break that pattern.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:34.77,0:02:38.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He said, “Let’s get in the room\Nwith a group of white guys
Dialogue: 0,0:02:38.50,0:02:41.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and spend four days examining ourselves.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:41.34,0:02:43.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What does it mean to be white\Nand to be male,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:43.83,0:02:46.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and for many of us, heterosexual?"
Dialogue: 0,0:02:46.73,0:02:49.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We called it a white men’s caucus.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:50.25,0:02:53.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The first white men’s caucus\Nwe did was 20 years ago.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:53.54,0:02:58.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Since then, we’ve done hundreds of them,\Nwith thousands of white men.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:58.16,0:03:01.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Over time, we found that white men\Ndon’t know three things.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:01.74,0:03:04.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One, we don’t know\Nthat we’re part of a group,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:04.28,0:03:05.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that we have a culture.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:06.45,0:03:08.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Two, we don’t know that others
Dialogue: 0,0:03:08.24,0:03:11.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,are having a different experience\Nin the world than us.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:11.19,0:03:13.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And three, we don’t know
Dialogue: 0,0:03:13.19,0:03:16.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that the process of learning this\Nis actually life-changing for us,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:16.62,0:03:19.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we gain so much in the process.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:20.25,0:03:21.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just to be clear,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:21.48,0:03:24.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,white men are not the only people\Nin the world that don’t know things.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:24.81,0:03:26.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:26.01,0:03:28.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,All of us have learning and work to do
Dialogue: 0,0:03:28.81,0:03:31.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,around how to partner\Nmore effectively with each other.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:31.94,0:03:35.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I’m just talking today\Nabout the white-male part of the equation,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:35.22,0:03:37.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which is often not articulated.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:37.56,0:03:40.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So let’s go back to the first thing\Nthat white men don’t know.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:40.57,0:03:44.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We don’t know that we’re part of a group,\Nand that we have a culture.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:44.03,0:03:46.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When I look in the mirror, I see Michael.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:46.86,0:03:48.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don’t see myself as a white male.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:48.98,0:03:51.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Others, women and people of color,\Nmay see a white male,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:51.62,0:03:53.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I just see Michael.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:53.44,0:03:56.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is partly a result\Nof how diversity is framed.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:57.27,0:04:02.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When we look at race, for example,\Nwe often focus on people of color.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:02.34,0:04:05.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When we look at gender,\Nwho do we usually talk about?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:05.68,0:04:06.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Women.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:06.84,0:04:08.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When we look at sexual orientation,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:08.56,0:04:11.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we often focus on gay,\Nlesbian and bisexual.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:11.52,0:04:16.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We don’t examine being white,\Nor being male, or being heterosexual.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:16.11,0:04:18.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It’s like an invisible part of myself.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:18.86,0:04:21.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I once worked with a SWAT team commander
Dialogue: 0,0:04:21.74,0:04:26.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who came back and said he applied\Nwhat he learned the first day on the job.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:26.02,0:04:31.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He was in a situation that usually ends\Nin a fight or an arrest,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:31.18,0:04:33.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he was able to avoid both.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:33.28,0:04:37.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Seeing himself and recognizing himself\Nnow as a white male, he realized,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:37.38,0:04:40.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,“This stranger does not\Nknow me personally.”
Dialogue: 0,0:04:40.38,0:04:42.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And he didn’t have\Nto take anything personally.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:42.66,0:04:46.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He shifted from defensiveness to inquiry,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:46.19,0:04:48.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he was able to take\Nan explosive moment
Dialogue: 0,0:04:48.77,0:04:51.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and turn it into a moment of partnership.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:52.48,0:04:54.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So white men, we don’t know\Nwe’re part of a group.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:54.81,0:04:57.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We also don’t know\Nthat we have a culture.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:57.34,0:04:59.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We’re like a fish in water.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:59.50,0:05:02.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We rarely have to leave\Nour cultural waters,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:02.27,0:05:04.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and so we have the least\Nawareness of them.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:04.90,0:05:09.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The culture, our culture,\Npermeates our schools, our institutions,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:09.21,0:05:12.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Church, businesses, most places we go.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:12.36,0:05:14.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So we have the least awareness of it.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:16.18,0:05:18.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I love my culture,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:18.04,0:05:21.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I’ve also come to see\Nthat when I overuse its strengths,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:21.86,0:05:24.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,those strengths can become weaknesses.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:24.47,0:05:27.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So what are some of the traits\Nof white male culture?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:27.94,0:05:29.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One is rugged individualism.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:29.84,0:05:31.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I love that part of me.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:31.77,0:05:34.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I love that I pull myself up\Nby my bootstraps,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:34.50,0:05:36.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,put my head down and work hard.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:36.60,0:05:38.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It has served me really well.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:38.85,0:05:42.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I know I can overuse that,\Nas others can too.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:42.56,0:05:44.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Any of you ever know of white guys
Dialogue: 0,0:05:44.80,0:05:47.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who get lost and refuse\Nto ask for directions?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:47.25,0:05:48.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Audience member: My dad!
Dialogue: 0,0:05:48.82,0:05:50.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that happened recently?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:50.43,0:05:51.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:05:51.64,0:05:53.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just so, I’m modeling white guys.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:53.78,0:05:56.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can actually read directions here.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:56.66,0:06:00.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, also, I love the action orientation.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:00.39,0:06:03.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That’s another aspect of our culture.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:03.28,0:06:08.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that action orientation\Nis about doing and getting things done.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:08.20,0:06:11.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I like to fix things,\NI like to solve problems.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:11.21,0:06:14.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can also overuse\Nthat problem-solving mindset.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:14.91,0:06:17.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Any of you ever have\Nto tell your white male spouse,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:17.35,0:06:20.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,“I don’t want you to fix this,\NI just want you to listen”?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:20.16,0:06:21.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:06:21.24,0:06:24.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Anybody hear that? As white guys,\Nhave you ever heard that before?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:24.95,0:06:27.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Also, our culture teaches us
Dialogue: 0,0:06:27.18,0:06:31.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that we can’t be rational\Nand emotional at the same time.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:31.22,0:06:33.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So we leave our emotionality behind.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:34.08,0:06:36.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Other cultures don’t do that.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:36.87,0:06:40.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When I live in this -\Ninvisible to me - cultural box,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:40.40,0:06:42.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don’t even think of it as a culture.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:42.23,0:06:44.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I just think of it as being a good human,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:44.50,0:06:46.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or a good American.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:46.48,0:06:49.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I judge others\Nby this invisible cultural box,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:50.25,0:06:53.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that puts them in a place\Nwhere they feel judged.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:53.67,0:06:56.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Unconscious bias,\Nthat’s what it is for me,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:56.53,0:07:02.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which is that it’s like a background\Noperating system on autopilot,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:02.78,0:07:05.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I didn’t even know\Nwas running in myself.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:05.72,0:07:09.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I might say I’m culture-blind\Nor I might say I’m gender-blind,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:09.35,0:07:12.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that I just treat everybody the same.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:12.02,0:07:17.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don’t realize that others hear that\Nas having to fit into my cultural box.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:21.60,0:07:25.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I don’t even know that I’m causing\Nthat assimilation in others.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:25.97,0:07:27.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Others can be frustrated
Dialogue: 0,0:07:27.20,0:07:30.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because they know they have to leave\Npart of themselves at the door.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:31.06,0:07:34.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And what’s even more interesting\Nis we do that to ourselves as white men.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:34.80,0:07:37.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We also fit into the cultural box,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:37.11,0:07:40.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and when we do that, we leave\Nsome of our humanness behind.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:40.99,0:07:43.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The second thing\Nthat most white men don’t know
Dialogue: 0,0:07:43.72,0:07:47.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is we don’t know that others are having\Na different experience in the world.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:48.36,0:07:52.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Most of us just naturally connect\Non sameness and commonality.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:52.92,0:07:57.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In fact, intercultural research shows\Nthat when you engage difference,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:57.43,0:08:01.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,most people either deny\Nor minimize those differences,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:01.05,0:08:04.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that pattern shows up\Nfor younger generations as well.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:04.95,0:08:09.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And yet, women, people of color and others\Nhave different experiences,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:09.41,0:08:11.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and if I’m only connecting on sameness,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:11.58,0:08:14.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I’m not seeing another part\Nof their reality.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:14.79,0:08:17.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It’s not that my view\Nof the world is wrong;
Dialogue: 0,0:08:17.47,0:08:19.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,more likely, it’s incomplete.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:20.72,0:08:24.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, for instance, I don’t have\Nto think about my own safety.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:24.53,0:08:27.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If I go jogging at night,\Nmost of the time I’m pretty comfortable,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:27.64,0:08:29.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,even going alone.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:29.11,0:08:30.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I travel on business a lot.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:30.50,0:08:34.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I arrive late into airports,\Nand I drive to the hotel.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:34.89,0:08:36.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sometimes I get lost.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:36.90,0:08:38.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I’m not too worried about that.\N
Dialogue: 0,0:08:38.63,0:08:41.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It’s just not easy,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:41.64,0:08:44.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but it’s not unsafe for me,\Nfor most of the time.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:44.47,0:08:49.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Many women would want\Nto arrive in the hotel before dark,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:49.26,0:08:52.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and would want your hotel room\Nto be off the ground floor
Dialogue: 0,0:08:52.00,0:08:53.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and not near an exit.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:54.30,0:08:56.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was traveling with\Nmy business colleague, Bill,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:56.62,0:08:58.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to Kalamazoo, Michigan,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:58.90,0:09:01.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to work with an executive team.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:01.42,0:09:04.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, right after I flew\Ninto O'Hare Airport,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:04.67,0:09:06.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,thunderstorms closed the airport.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:06.61,0:09:10.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Soon, I found out there were\Nno more flights to Kalamazoo,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:10.15,0:09:12.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and there were no more rental cars.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:12.94,0:09:15.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bill’s rugged individualism kicked in,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:15.17,0:09:19.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he propositioned a taxi to take us\Nall the way to Kalamazoo.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:20.26,0:09:24.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We got there 2:30 in the morning,\Nand by 8 a.m. that morning,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:24.00,0:09:27.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we are standing in front\Nof the executive team, proud,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:27.45,0:09:31.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and talking about how our adventure was\Nand we were going to get there.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:31.17,0:09:34.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Failure wasn’t an option\Nin that rugged individualism.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:34.27,0:09:36.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, there was one woman on that team.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:37.27,0:09:40.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She raised her hand, and she said,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:40.74,0:09:45.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,“I would have never gotten into that taxi\Nand driven across rural America at night
Dialogue: 0,0:09:45.65,0:09:48.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with a stranger as a taxi driver.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:48.35,0:09:50.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I would have made up an excuse
Dialogue: 0,0:09:50.20,0:09:52.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so you wouldn’t think\NI wasn’t a team player.”
Dialogue: 0,0:09:53.50,0:09:57.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I looked at her, and I looked at Bill,\Nand I looked at the group,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:57.31,0:10:01.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I said, “I teach this stuff,\Nand I’m blind to it at the same time.”
Dialogue: 0,0:10:04.37,0:10:06.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The word “privilege”\Nis a hard word for us as white men
Dialogue: 0,0:10:06.99,0:10:09.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because we don’t feel privileged.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:09.42,0:10:11.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We actually feel like\Nwe’ve worked incredibly hard
Dialogue: 0,0:10:11.78,0:10:13.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for everything we have.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:13.36,0:10:16.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I would say\Na deeper perspective is, yes,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:16.07,0:10:18.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we have worked incredibly hard,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:18.15,0:10:22.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and there are things that we haven’t had\Nto navigate or negotiate or think about
Dialogue: 0,0:10:22.42,0:10:24.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that other groups are.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:25.11,0:10:28.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For instance, more examples\Nof how my life might be different
Dialogue: 0,0:10:29.02,0:10:30.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,being heterosexual.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:30.63,0:10:33.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At work, I can have a picture\Nof a loved one on my desk
Dialogue: 0,0:10:33.50,0:10:36.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and not worry about\Nwhat other people think about,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:36.47,0:10:41.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or not worry that it might hinder\Nmy next promotion or get me fired.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:41.71,0:10:43.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,As a cisgendered person,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:43.18,0:10:46.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can go out on the spur\Nof the moment with friends
Dialogue: 0,0:10:46.86,0:10:49.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and know that I can find\Na bathroom that I can use
Dialogue: 0,0:10:49.76,0:10:52.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,without being harassed or beat up.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:52.93,0:10:55.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,As a white person, at work\Npeople don’t look at me
Dialogue: 0,0:10:55.66,0:10:58.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and think I got my job\Nbecause of affirmative action,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:58.52,0:11:01.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and therefore have me feeling\Nlike I’ve got to work twice as hard
Dialogue: 0,0:11:01.57,0:11:03.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to prove I’m qualified.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:03.38,0:11:06.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or I can easily find mentors\Nof my race at all levels
Dialogue: 0,0:11:06.45,0:11:08.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in most organizations.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:08.60,0:11:11.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or I can buy pictures,\Npostcards, greeting cards
Dialogue: 0,0:11:11.82,0:11:14.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,featuring people of my race, easily.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:14.75,0:11:18.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or I don’t have to have the talk\Nwith my white kids
Dialogue: 0,0:11:18.29,0:11:22.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about how to literally stay alive\Nif stopped by the police.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:22.33,0:11:25.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So for me, the layers\Nof privilege go on and on.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:25.90,0:11:29.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Being able-bodied or, I might say,\Ntemporarily able-bodied,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:29.35,0:11:30.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I didn’t have to figure out
Dialogue: 0,0:11:30.65,0:11:34.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,how to negotiate my way\Nthrough this facility to give this talk.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:35.32,0:11:39.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Being Christian, people know my holidays,\Nand they align with time off.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:40.75,0:11:43.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So privilege is stuff\Nthat I don’t have to deal with.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:43.97,0:11:47.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It’s not having to navigate\Nor deal with some of those things.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:47.00,0:11:49.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It’s not something I chose.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:49.17,0:11:53.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And what happens is others assume
Dialogue: 0,0:11:53.34,0:11:56.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we, as white men,\Nknow about our privilege,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:56.33,0:11:58.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that we see it.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:58.16,0:12:02.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And they assume we just don’t care\Nor want to hoard our privilege.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:02.61,0:12:05.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So they attribute negative intent\Non to that privilege.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:05.95,0:12:09.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When we start to see our privilege\Nand own our privilege,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:09.47,0:12:11.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it removes the burden from others
Dialogue: 0,0:12:11.25,0:12:15.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to have to educate and prove to us\Ntheir different realities are real.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:15.92,0:12:18.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can use my privilege honorably.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:18.34,0:12:19.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For instance, if I’m in a meeting,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:19.99,0:12:23.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and a woman shares an idea\Nand it’s ignored,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:23.55,0:12:26.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and a few minutes later\Na man repeats that,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:26.99,0:12:29.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can use my privilege to point out\Nto my male colleagues
Dialogue: 0,0:12:29.66,0:12:32.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that, hey, that was originally her idea.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:32.14,0:12:35.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If she was to do that, she might be seen\Nas having a chip on her shoulder
Dialogue: 0,0:12:35.74,0:12:37.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,around men.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:38.97,0:12:42.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When we acknowledge\Nother people's experiences as valid
Dialogue: 0,0:12:42.97,0:12:47.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and let our hearts be impacted\Nby their experience,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:47.29,0:12:50.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we create more trust and more openness.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:50.55,0:12:54.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I saw this happen in South Africa,\Nand I've seen it happen around the world.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:54.81,0:12:59.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a shift from a partnership\Nthat's based partly on fear
Dialogue: 0,0:12:59.11,0:13:01.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to a partnership based more on love.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:01.80,0:13:05.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Which brings me to the third thing\Nthat most white men don't know.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:05.73,0:13:10.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We think diversity is about\Nhelping other people with their issues.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:10.28,0:13:13.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We don't realize the process\Nof learning about our culture
Dialogue: 0,0:13:13.34,0:13:15.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that others are having\Na different experience
Dialogue: 0,0:13:15.64,0:13:19.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,actually is life-changing for us\Nand gives us many insights.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:20.59,0:13:24.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For instance, when I discover\Nmy cultural box,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:24.18,0:13:27.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can continue to use\Nthe strengths of that culture
Dialogue: 0,0:13:27.86,0:13:30.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I have the choice\Nto step out of that culture
Dialogue: 0,0:13:30.96,0:13:33.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when it would serve me and others more.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:33.56,0:13:37.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For instance, maybe I want to be\Nin my head and my heart at the same time.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:37.76,0:13:39.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Maybe I want to be able\Nto ask for directions,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:39.93,0:13:42.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or ask for help or say, "I don't know."
Dialogue: 0,0:13:42.10,0:13:43.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Maybe I want to be able to slow down
Dialogue: 0,0:13:43.84,0:13:46.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and not try to fix something\NI don't understand.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:50.20,0:13:54.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When I show that I'm willing to validate\Nother people's experiences,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:54.40,0:13:56.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it opens up space for new partnership.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:57.62,0:14:01.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One white man went back\Nto a black man at work
Dialogue: 0,0:14:01.98,0:14:03.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and shared his learning.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:04.12,0:14:06.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Initially, the black man wasn't open,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:06.71,0:14:09.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but a week later, the black man\Ncame at to the white man,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:10.80,0:14:13.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,closed the door, talked for two hours,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:13.34,0:14:14.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he said,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:14.74,0:14:17.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"In 20 years, no white man\Nhas ever asked me
Dialogue: 0,0:14:17.24,0:14:20.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what it's like to be black\Nin this corporation."
Dialogue: 0,0:14:22.19,0:14:26.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Another white man went back\Nto his son and apologized.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:27.76,0:14:30.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The week before the caucus,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:30.01,0:14:32.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,his son had come from school bullied,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:32.97,0:14:36.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he'd told his son,\N"Don't cry and suck it up."
Dialogue: 0,0:14:36.100,0:14:39.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, during the caucus,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:39.24,0:14:41.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the white man learned\Nhe was just training his son
Dialogue: 0,0:14:41.63,0:14:43.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to be in that white male box.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:43.26,0:14:44.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So he came home and he said,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:44.66,0:14:47.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I'm sorry I told you\Nto suck it up and [not] cry.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:47.28,0:14:50.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's okay to feel what you feel,\Nand you don't have to do it alone.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:50.49,0:14:53.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can come to me\Nand I'll be there for you."
Dialogue: 0,0:14:54.59,0:14:57.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We can have other kinds\Nof partnerships at work too.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:57.04,0:15:01.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If I offend somebody,\Nwhich is going to happen eventually,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:01.35,0:15:03.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't to spend time defending\Nthat I'm a good guy.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:03.92,0:15:06.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can shift, using humility\Nand inquiry, and say,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:06.51,0:15:08.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"How did I just impact you?"
Dialogue: 0,0:15:08.74,0:15:11.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That shifts me from a stance\Nof "it's not my fault"
Dialogue: 0,0:15:11.99,0:15:14.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to a stance of "I'm responsible."
Dialogue: 0,0:15:16.86,0:15:20.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So white men, what can you do\Nwhen you leave here today?
Dialogue: 0,0:15:20.19,0:15:23.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One, you can remember and realize\Nthat you have a culture,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:23.82,0:15:25.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you can start to see it.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:25.49,0:15:28.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can step outside of it\Nwhen that serves you,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:28.16,0:15:31.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you can notice more\Nwhen you impose it on others.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:31.19,0:15:35.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Second, remember that others are having\Na different experience than you.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:35.45,0:15:38.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So use inquiry and curiosity
Dialogue: 0,0:15:38.30,0:15:41.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to get their world\Nand broaden your perspective.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:42.52,0:15:46.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Three years before Nelson Mandela died,\NI wrote him a letter.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:47.25,0:15:49.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In it, I said,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:49.13,0:15:54.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I was astonished to see you\Nemerge from 27 years in prison
Dialogue: 0,0:15:54.38,0:15:59.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and embrace, from a place of love,\Nthe white men who imprisoned you.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:59.80,0:16:03.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You showed that love\Nis the greatest force for change,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:03.51,0:16:05.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I want you to know
Dialogue: 0,0:16:05.06,0:16:07.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that it's the same thread\Nof love that I carry
Dialogue: 0,0:16:07.52,0:16:10.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that you passed on\Nto the white men in South Africa."
Dialogue: 0,0:16:11.52,0:16:15.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I ask all of us today\Nto carry that same thread to others
Dialogue: 0,0:16:15.82,0:16:19.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as you create extraordinary partnerships\Nwith people around the planet.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:19.72,0:16:20.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:20.96,0:16:23.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause) (Cheering)