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-Hello, and welcome.

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Today I'm gonna be teaching you how to be makeup.

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But before we do that,

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you see these wrinkles?

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You see these bags?

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Well, we don't need either of these anymore.

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We're doing makeup.

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Dear Ryan: can you be a makeup guru?

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First of all, you're probably wondering,

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who is this magic makeup man?

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He's no Michelle Phan.

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And you're right, I'm not Michelle Phan,

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nor am I Michelle's fan or Michelle's fan.

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My name is Lotsov,

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Lotsov Phan.

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I'm gonna be teaching you how to be makeup.

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I said that already.

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First thing's first,

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every makeup guru person thing knows that the first thing you do is cleanse your face.

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Done!

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The next first step is to powder your entire face.

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Unfortunately for me, I had no powder,

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so I had to walk to the store.

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But fortunately for me,

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I met a guy along the way.

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So I didn't have to go all the way.

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-Yo, what's up man?

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You wanna buy some of this?

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-Is that all you got?

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It was a little bit more pricey than usual,

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but that's the price you pay when you order top-quality makeup brands like Mack.

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Now that you have everything you need,

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you must powder your entire face like so.

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Done.

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And finally, you're ready for the last stage:

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your eye.

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People like to use Lancome and Sephora.

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But what I like to use is the French:

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Crayole.

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And now that you have your eye stick,

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what you want to do is gently and delicately color around your eyes as fast as you can like this.

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Finishing touches.

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Done.

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And now that your look is complete,

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remember kids, if it's not Mack it's crack.

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Good luck.

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Teehee.

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So leave a question in the comments below and you could be responsible for the next video.

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A lot more than that.

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Noisy birds.

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Shh.

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So I didn't have to go all the way. (Captioned by SpongeSebastian)