[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(whimsical orchestral music)
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hey persons of age.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, long before the era of the wiki,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there used to be these\Nthings called encyclopedias,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where for a small fee\Nof thousands of dollars,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they would mail you a tiny fraction
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of the knowledge that we\Nhave access to today.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you could put it on a shelf.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it would sit there and\Nmake you look "learned."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But while not reading\Nan encyclopedia is easy,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not creating one is much easier.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And yet we do it.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Encyclopedia Britannica is\Nstill in circulation today,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it's maintained by around\Na hundred full-time editors
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and more than four\Nthousand contributors.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So whose idea was this?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Who was the first person\Nto sit down and say,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Hm, today I feel like writing down
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,EVERYTHING."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To answer that, we must look nearly\Ntwo thousand years in the past
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to the mid 70s AD.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Pliny the Elder.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Author.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Philosopher.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Veteran.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Imperial administrator.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And one curious buckaroo.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Early in his life, Pliny's father took\Nhim to Rome to study law.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then as a young adult, he spent\Nseveral years as a junior officer
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the Roman military.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,His interest in literature made\Nhim a few high-ranking friends there,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and when he came home,\Nhe took to writing.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Unfortunately, a certain apocryphal\Nfiddler was in charge at the time
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and wasn't exactly kind to intellectuals.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So Pliny kept it on the DL,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,mostly writing about things\Nlike grammar and rhetoric,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which at the time, few people\Nfound worth freaking out over.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Fortunately, in June of 68,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nero finally took a\Nhint and killed himself,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and following the chaos of the\NYear of the Four Emperors,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,one Vespasian came out on top.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Vespasian was a general\Nand a friend of Pliny's,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so when he became emperor\Nhe promoted Pliny to "Procurator,"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which was like the governor of a province.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Suddenly, with this guy on the throne
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and a cushy job to pay the bills,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Pliny found himself in a position to\Nmake complete use of his own potential.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,By day he continued\Nhis administrative duties,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but during nights, he wrote.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And over the course of a few years,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with nothing but his own wits
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and whatever authors he\Ncould get his hands on,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He created a work known as the
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Historia Naturalis."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This consisted of thirty-seven books,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,each broken up into\Nmany dozens of chapters
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,covering just about every topic there is.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,While it wasn't quite an\Nencyclopedia in the modern sense,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's still the earliest surviving attempt
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and an all-encompassing scholarly work,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it is a TRIP.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've been reading it.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It is fascinating.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not only as a reflection of what people \Ndid and did not know in the Roman Empire,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but also as a reflection of Pliny himself,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who is a character,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and who made zero attempt to hide it.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So today, I come to you with
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A Brief Summary of the First Part of a
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Brief Summary of ALL HUMAN KNOWLEDGE
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,According to One Dude
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,circa 77 AD.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, the original thing makes\Nfor a fairly long read.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Even removing most of the\Nmore uninteresting details
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've only managed to fit the first\Ntwo books into today's video.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,As for the other thirty-five,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ehhh...uhhhh...
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We'll see.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm gonna let Pliny do\Nthe narration himself,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,using my voice.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He gets a lot of\Nthings shockingly right
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and a lot shockingly wrong.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Rather than constantly\Nchiming in with fact checks,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm just gonna throw chess.com\Nanalysis icons in the corner
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for every claim he makes.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'll also provide relevant snippets of\Nthe actual text I'm paraphrasing,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just for reference.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you're one of the people\Nthat likes to pause the video
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just to see the funny ha-ha's\NI snuck into the freeze frame,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,rest assured, there will be none today.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can just let it play.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One last warning,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,while there is a loose\Noverall structure to this thing,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it also seems like Pliny just kinda wrote
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,whatever was in his\Nhead for a given chapter.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He has a habit of jumping back and forth
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,between completely disparate topics
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and going on weird\Npersonal tangents in between.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I am presenting this thing in\Nthe exact order it's written,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so if it at any point seems\Nutterly scatterbrained,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's his fault. Not mine.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Anyway, take it away.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(dramatic music with choir)
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(music stops)
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yo.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(dramatic music with\Nchoir starts up again)
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(music stops)
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(drinks water)
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Right, let me get right ahead of things.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,These books are strictly about this world
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the things we can see around it.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you're one of those mad men
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who think there are other\Nworlds beyond this one,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,give it a rest, alright?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's PSYCHOTIC.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can't know these things
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you can't grasp infinity.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Stop trying, you'll hurt yourself.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So the heavens are a perfect sphere
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they spin around us perfectly.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It takes twenty-four hours\Nfor them to do one spin,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which is actually really fast\Nbecause the universe is HUGE.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In fact, massive objects all\Nwhooshing around us this fast
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,should be incredibly loud at all times.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why isn't this the case?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(mumbles) I don't know.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The whole shebang is\Ncomposed of four elements, right,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which sort themselves by weight.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Earth is heaviest, so it falls\Nto the middle of everything
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,into a sphere,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it stays still.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's the only still thing.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,On top of that is water,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then air,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and fire's the lighest,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which is why the Sun\Nand stars are made of it.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The Sun
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,kicks ass.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Easily the best of the\Nseven things up there.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Basically a god.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not literally.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Uh, don't try to answer questions\Nabout God's nature, by the way,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you'll just confuse yourself.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There is AT MOST one god\Nand he's everything,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he doesn't do weird human shit
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like getting jealous or\Nbanging other gods.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I swear, people just make up new gods
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,every time they want something specific.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let me tell ya,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there was a temple on Palatine Hill
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,dedicated, through my\Ntax dollars by the way,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to "Fever."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like, the illness.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You understand that's batshit, right?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Things like that are why
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we've got more gods\Nthan people at this point.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Folks in other countries worship\Nanimals and obscene things
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like "stinking meats."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There are gods of theft and other crimes,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's all folly.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You wanna be godly?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just help others.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's the way of the old Roman nobles.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that's the way of\Nthe noblest noble of all,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Emperor Vespasian Augustus,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who may or may not be my best buddy.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But anyway, if there is a god,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he doesn't care about what you do.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,People put crazy \Nemphasis on their religion,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,avoiding foods,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,worrying themselves sick about\Nall kinds of sacred rules.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Look, I hang around the capital.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's a lot of rat bastards in politics.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Real scumbags.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And they are THUH-RIVING.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You don't need to torture yourself.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Have a bacon. Nobody gives a shit.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Back to the stars, which, by the way,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,also don't give a shit\Nabout you specifically.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For big history-changing\Nstuff, yeah, they'll act up,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but you, reader, do not need to worry.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Anyway, most of them are fixed\Nin a sphere really high up there,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we'll call this the heavens.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Between the heavens and the earth,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there are seven other\Nbodies to talk about.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Highest up there we got Saturn,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then there's Jupiter,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mars,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The Sun,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Venus,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mercury,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Moon.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The heavens spin to the right,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,all these guys spin to the left.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Saturn is cold, Mars is hot, but Jupiter?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Jupiter's just right.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The Sun's orbit is made up of 360 degrees,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,one degree per day.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Except not quite.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We have to add 5 and a fourth\Ndays or else our sundials break.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Down to Venus and Mercury,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,these guys are weird because\Nthey like to hang around the Sun.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Fun fact: Venus is actually bright enough
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to help out the Sun and Moon sometimes.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When it's helping the\NSun, we call it Lucifer,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,THE LIGHT-BRINGER.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And when it's helping the\NMoon we call it Vesper,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the sleepy-time guy.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mercury tries to do the same thing,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but he's much more lame and cringe,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so he can't.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The Moon's got phases, as you know,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and she gets closer and\Nfarther away at different times.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Endymion figured out lots of\Ncool info about the Moon's orbit,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you assholes bullied him for it.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This man unraveled the\Nsecrets of the universe,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and in return, everyone goes,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Ho ho ho, he's in love with the moon."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's because humans\Nare sick in the head.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They'd rather read stories\Nabout bloodshed and massacres
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and think that matters more\Nthan the fabric of reality.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Get a clue.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Anyway, the Moon has phases\Nbecause of the way
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it borrows light from the Sun.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Which might be what\Nthese other guys do, too,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we don't know yet.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,All those spots on it\Nare actually puddles,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because it likes to draw up\Nmoisture from the Earth,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which is where we get the tides.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And every now and then\Nit casts its shadow on Earth.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We call these "eclipses"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they are FREAKIN' WICKED.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Eclipses can happen\Nthe other way around, too.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the way these happen prove
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that the Moon is bigger than the Earth
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the Sun's way bigger\Nthan both of them.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, and just so we're clear,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,eclipses are a natural thing,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's not the apocalypse or God's wrath.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They follow rules, even the\NGreeks could predict them.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Settle down.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Back to the planets,