[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.00,0:00:00.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Folks
Dialogue: 0,0:00:01.02,0:00:04.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You guys ever think about how every\Npassing second brings us just a little bit
Dialogue: 0,0:00:04.68,0:00:06.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,closer to death?\NYeah, me neither.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:06.50,0:00:10.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I feel like I say this all the time, but I\Njust turned 30 and I'll be honest,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:10.12,0:00:13.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm feeling it. I remember being a kid and\Nhearing my dad complain about his
Dialogue: 0,0:00:13.72,0:00:17.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,back pain, and then in my head I was like,\N'damn, that must suck. Good thing it's
Dialogue: 0,0:00:17.61,0:00:20.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,never gonna happen to me though!'\NBut alas! Here I am!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:20.15,0:00:24.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If I sleep incorrectly, I have to take an \NAdvil. Last summer I rode a roller coaster
Dialogue: 0,0:00:24.19,0:00:27.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I had a headache for a week.\NI'm being slowly dragged to hell and I can
Dialogue: 0,0:00:27.72,0:00:31.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,feel it. But aging is a part of life, ok?\NIt's inevitable. We're all aging all the
Dialogue: 0,0:00:31.62,0:00:35.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,time, that's quite literally how the human\Nbody works. But for as long as us humans
Dialogue: 0,0:00:35.77,0:00:40.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,have been around, we have been trying to\Nfight this natural decay that we all
Dialogue: 0,0:00:40.01,0:00:44.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,experience. And anti-aging content has\Nbeen around for a while, but lately I've
Dialogue: 0,0:00:44.68,0:00:50.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,seen an increase in popularity of anti-\Naging products and techniques on TikTok
Dialogue: 0,0:00:50.19,0:00:53.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,specifically and I thought it'd be fun if\Nwe took a look at them today.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:53.58,0:00:57.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I should say I haven't seen a lot\Npersonally because my For You page is
Dialogue: 0,0:00:57.01,0:00:59.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,all the way cooked. It's fuckin' burnt to\Na crisp.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:07.31,0:01:11.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But my wife has seen a lot of these videos\Nshe's actually the one who gave me this
Dialogue: 0,0:01:11.17,0:01:14.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,video idea. So everybody say thank you \NJenna on three. One two three
Dialogue: 0,0:01:15.61,0:01:18.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So first off, I think it's important\Nthat we talk about the history of
Dialogue: 0,0:01:18.90,0:01:23.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,anti-aging products and techniques because\Nthe concept of anti-aging in itself is
Dialogue: 0,0:01:23.35,0:01:26.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,very old and wrinkly, gross, yuck.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:26.33,0:01:30.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Even dating all the way back to 69 BCE,\Nhilarious year by the way.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.65,0:01:36.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In the year 69 BCE, Cleopatra apparently\Ntook daily baths in donkey milk in order
Dialogue: 0,0:01:36.90,0:01:40.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to maintain a youthful look.\NNow I know why the dragon from Shrek looks
Dialogue: 0,0:01:40.45,0:01:43.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so young. It's all that donkey milk.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:44.78,0:01:50.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And in the year 1513, Juan Ponce de Léon\Nrisked his life and set off on a journey
Dialogue: 0,0:01:50.72,0:01:55.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to find the fabled fountain of youth. \NA spring that was said to provide eternal
Dialogue: 0,0:01:55.07,0:01:59.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,life. He never actually found the fountain\Nof youth, but what he found was even
Dialogue: 0,0:01:59.14,0:01:59.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,better.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:01.10,0:02:01.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Florida.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:02.08,0:02:05.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that is real. He went to find the\Nfountain of youth and found the fucking
Dialogue: 0,0:02:05.71,0:02:09.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,opposite. Florida. That is the opposite of\Nthe fountain of youth. Because most people
Dialogue: 0,0:02:09.72,0:02:13.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,down there look like an old leather couch.\NPeople from Florida, their skin looks like
Dialogue: 0,0:02:13.79,0:02:17.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a black metal band's logo. And there's\Ntons of stories like this throughout
Dialogue: 0,0:02:17.36,0:02:21.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,history. Apparently Elizabethan women\Nplaced thin slices of raw meat directly on
Dialogue: 0,0:02:21.15,0:02:24.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,their face. I'm sure their husbands were \Npretty stoked on that.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:24.17,0:02:27.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But one of the first anti-aging products\Never was released to the public in 1889
Dialogue: 0,0:02:27.99,0:02:32.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they were called Frownies. These were\Nlike little adhesive patches that hold
Dialogue: 0,0:02:32.61,0:02:36.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,your skin tight so you don't develop\Nwrinkles. And the origin story of this
Dialogue: 0,0:02:36.57,0:02:41.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,product is pretty interesting. So the\Ninventor of Frownies apparently noticed
Dialogue: 0,0:02:41.09,0:02:45.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,some frown lines on her daughter and she\Nimmediately got to work on a product that
Dialogue: 0,0:02:45.25,0:02:50.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,could fix her daughter's wrinkly fucked up\Nface. Gosh I wonder why her daughter was
Dialogue: 0,0:02:50.02,0:02:53.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,frowning so much in the first place, you \Nknow? Guess we'll never know.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:53.74,0:02:57.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And since the release of Frownies in 1889,\Nthe anti-aging world has grown
Dialogue: 0,0:02:57.50,0:03:03.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,exponentially. There's anti-aging creams,\Nlotions, pillows, supplements, diets,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:03.25,0:03:07.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,procedures, you can pretty much sell \Nanything you want to people if you just
Dialogue: 0,0:03:07.25,0:03:11.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,tell them it will make them look younger.\NThat being said, buying tickets to my
Dialogue: 0,0:03:11.25,0:03:15.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,shows, and also buying my merch will\Nactually make you look 10 years younger.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:15.12,0:03:20.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's crazy. It's also not lost on me that \Nlike 99% of anti-aging products and
Dialogue: 0,0:03:20.12,0:03:24.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,procedures are marketed directly towards\Nwomen. You know, in this patriarchal
Dialogue: 0,0:03:24.05,0:03:27.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,society we live in, \Ncause we do live in a society.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:27.03,0:03:32.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,From an early age the pressure and, like,\Nproposed importance of maintaining a
Dialogue: 0,0:03:32.85,0:03:37.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,youthful image is absolutely drilled into \Ngirls' brains through various forms of
Dialogue: 0,0:03:37.87,0:03:40.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,media and marketing.\NThere's this fucked up idea that, like,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:40.73,0:03:45.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,women's most valuable asset is their youth\Nwhich is, number one, incorrect and two,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:45.80,0:03:49.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,weird as fuck. It's like when you hear\Npeople talk about an older celebrity and
Dialogue: 0,0:03:49.56,0:03:51.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they're like 'wow she looks so nice for\Nher age!'
Dialogue: 0,0:03:51.87,0:03:54.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it's like I don't know if you\Nneeded those last three words.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:54.87,0:03:56.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You could just say someone looks good.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:56.72,0:04:00.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's crazy cause it's kind of the opposite\Nfor dudes. We've kind of tricked
Dialogue: 0,0:04:00.27,0:04:03.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the world into thinking that men get more\Nattractive as they age.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:03.43,0:04:06.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And don't get me wrong, that is true for \Nsome dudes, but most old guys?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:06.98,0:04:08.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Uhhh? Woof.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:08.55,0:04:12.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you think dudes get hotter with age,\Nyou take a trip down to the fountain of
Dialogue: 0,0:04:12.33,0:04:15.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,death. AKA Florida. And you'll see what \Nmost old men look like.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:15.78,0:04:20.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I've never personally felt the, like,\Nsocietal pressure to hold onto my youth as
Dialogue: 0,0:04:20.42,0:04:21.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a man.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:21.15,0:04:21.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I'm a man."
Dialogue: 0,0:04:21.89,0:04:25.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But it happens all the time with girls\Nand it's still happening today.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:25.27,0:04:28.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Here's some things that I do to slow down\Nthe aging process as a 14 year old.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:28.93,0:04:32.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I started doing most of these things at\N12. 1. I take two apple cider
Dialogue: 0,0:04:32.23,0:04:35.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,vinegar pills, I do this twice a day.\NNumber two, I use retinol twice a day.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:35.89,0:04:38.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Next is, I love Korean skincare and I do\Ntwo face masks a day."
Dialogue: 0,0:04:38.88,0:04:42.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Call me crazy but I think a literal child \Nhaving an anti-aging routine
Dialogue: 0,0:04:42.44,0:04:46.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is a little dystopian. Because it's like\Nyou're already young. Why are you doing an
Dialogue: 0,0:04:46.44,0:04:50.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,anti-aging video? That's like if you saw a\NTikTok of Jeff Bezos and he was like,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:50.44,0:04:52.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'This is how I have fun on a budget.'
Dialogue: 0,0:04:52.31,0:04:55.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's like, dude, you don't need to worry\Nabout that, man.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:55.03,0:04:59.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And look, I'm not gonna sit here and tell\Nyou what procedures not to get or what
Dialogue: 0,0:04:59.03,0:05:03.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,products not to use. It's your body, your \Ndecision. But I just hope with people who
Dialogue: 0,0:05:03.01,0:05:06.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,are doing these anti-aging procedures, \NI just hope they're doing it for
Dialogue: 0,0:05:06.40,0:05:08.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the right reason. \NAnd again, I'm not smart.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:08.46,0:05:12.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you want a deep, insightful commentary\Non this topic, or fucking any topic,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:12.74,0:05:16.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you're at the wrong- you're watching the\Nwrong guy. You got the wrong guy.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:16.25,0:05:19.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I guess anti-aging, you know,\Nit's not inherently bad, but with every
Dialogue: 0,0:05:19.79,0:05:23.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,other fucking thing on this planet, some\Npeople are taking it a little too far.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:23.70,0:05:27.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I thought it'd be interesting to \Nactually try out some of these anti-aging
Dialogue: 0,0:05:27.51,0:05:31.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,techniques / products and see if they have\Nany actual effect. But first, we have to
Dialogue: 0,0:05:31.51,0:05:35.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,actually find out how to reverse my age. \NSo I think we need to go to the most
Dialogue: 0,0:05:35.24,0:05:40.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,reliable place on the internet to find\Nwell-documented, peer-reviewed information
Dialogue: 0,0:05:40.08,0:05:41.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on this subject.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:41.92,0:05:42.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Tiktok!
Dialogue: 0,0:05:42.74,0:05:47.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You're not ugly or old, but your inner\Ndialog might be. If you want the ultimate
Dialogue: 0,0:05:47.92,0:05:53.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,glow-up, you won't find it in a bottle, \Nbut in the power of positive affirmations"
Dialogue: 0,0:05:53.58,0:05:56.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ding ding ding! You said the magic word!
Dialogue: 0,0:05:56.29,0:06:00.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Start speaking and thinking youthful\Nthoughts." Okay...
Dialogue: 0,0:06:00.60,0:06:03.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Because your thoughts shape your reality"
Dialogue: 0,0:06:03.19,0:06:08.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Positive affirmations, manifesting, that's\Na classic with this type of shit.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:08.04,0:06:12.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Manifesting was a huge part of the video \Nwhere I did, where I took a vision healing
Dialogue: 0,0:06:12.04,0:06:15.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,masterclass, so I'm pretty familiar with\Nthe concept, alright? This ain't my first
Dialogue: 0,0:06:15.91,0:06:18.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,rodeo. And hey, if it works for you,\Nthat's wicked.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:18.62,0:06:21.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But the thing I'm confused about,\Nshe tells people to 'think and speak
Dialogue: 0,0:06:21.98,0:06:23.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,youthful thoughts'.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:23.18,0:06:26.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Start speaking and thinking youthful\Nthoughts."
Dialogue: 0,0:06:26.37,0:06:28.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What, what is that? What even is a\Nyouthful thought?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:29.70,0:06:33.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'Woah, he's so deep in thought\NI wonder what he's thinking about.'
Dialogue: 0,0:06:33.09,0:06:37.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'Just a widdle baby. I make boom boom in\Nmy dipey and I miss my mommy. I wuv
Dialogue: 0,0:06:37.62,0:06:39.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Cocomelon so much.'
Dialogue: 0,0:06:39.78,0:06:42.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'Oh my god, what's that smell? \NDude, did you shit yourself?'
Dialogue: 0,0:06:42.82,0:06:47.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So this creator actually sells the exact\Naffirmations you need to say on her
Dialogue: 0,0:06:47.63,0:06:52.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,website for $10, but I unfortunately can't\Nbuy those cause I'm just a little baby
Dialogue: 0,0:06:52.38,0:06:53.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with no money.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:53.29,0:06:56.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I found a video on YouTube called \NAge Reversal Affirmations.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:56.58,0:07:02.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Rekindle your spirit and ignite the\Npassion with these reverse aging
Dialogue: 0,0:07:02.34,0:07:08.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,affirmations. Listen or repeat them for at\Nleast 21 days in a row."
Dialogue: 0,0:07:08.99,0:07:13.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,21 days in a row? What the f-\NDude, no sleeping, no eating,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:13.38,0:07:17.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,no exercising, no doing any of the things\Nthat will, like, keep you healthy
Dialogue: 0,0:07:17.38,0:07:19.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and also maintain a youthful appearance
Dialogue: 0,0:07:19.59,0:07:20.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Fuck all that.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:20.33,0:07:23.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You just sit in your fuckin' affirmations\Ncave for three weeks straight.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:23.76,0:07:27.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Imagine I walk out of my office 21 days\Nlater fuckin' sunken in eyes and stuff
Dialogue: 0,0:07:27.91,0:07:28.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you can see my bones
Dialogue: 0,0:07:28.93,0:07:30.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'I've never felt so young!'
Dialogue: 0,0:07:30.74,0:07:32.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay, so let's see what these affirmations\Nare.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:32.96,0:07:37.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I have the spirit of a young."\NI have the spirit of a young.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:38.00,0:07:41.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I am glowing."\NI am glowing.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:41.01,0:07:46.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"My bones and veins are in the best shape"\NMy bones- my bones and veins are in the
Dialogue: 0,0:07:46.36,0:07:48.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,best shape.\NJust my bones and veins though,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:48.50,0:07:49.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,everything else sucks.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:49.85,0:07:53.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can't tell if these worked or not\Nbecause I haven't done them for three
Dialogue: 0,0:07:53.38,0:07:56.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,weeks straight, but I dunno, I\Nalready feel like I have the spirit of a
Dialogue: 0,0:07:56.71,0:07:59.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,young. The comments on this video are \Nreally interesting too.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:06.52,0:08:10.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it's like, cool. Good for these people\Nright? If that's what they wanna look like
Dialogue: 0,0:08:10.57,0:08:14.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like, personally, why would you wanna look\N18 forever? That is a nightmare.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:14.15,0:08:15.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This was me at 18.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:16.77,0:08:21.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If I still looked like this, I would be a \NBatman villain, dude. I'd be fucking crazy
Dialogue: 0,0:08:21.30,0:08:24.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'd be so mad all the time.\NDude I'd be running around Gotham fuckin'
Dialogue: 0,0:08:24.68,0:08:28.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,poppin' zits on people and shit,\Nand I could fly because I'm, like, my-
Dialogue: 0,0:08:28.02,0:08:32.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,all my backne is popping so much\Nall the pus coming out, the force of all
Dialogue: 0,0:08:32.02,0:08:33.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,my back zits popping just-
Dialogue: 0,0:08:33.74,0:08:36.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sorry, moving on from that horrifying \Npicture of 18-year-old me
Dialogue: 0,0:08:36.76,0:08:40.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We know there's a lot of products and\Nprocedures that exist out there to slow
Dialogue: 0,0:08:40.40,0:08:43.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the aging process. But\Neven that's not enough for some people.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:43.32,0:08:47.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One man in particular is going to extreme\Nlengths to not just slow the aging process
Dialogue: 0,0:08:47.90,0:08:52.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but reverse it entirely.\NAnd his name is Bryan Johnson.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:52.03,0:08:56.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wish his last name was Griffin.\NThat'd be so savage.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:56.50,0:09:00.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So this Bryan Johnson guy is a Mormon \Nentrepreneur and venture capitalist from
Dialogue: 0,0:09:00.99,0:09:01.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Utah.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:01.79,0:09:05.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know, pretty crazy, a Mormon from Utah?\NNow I have seen everything.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:05.96,0:09:09.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm sure some of you have probably\Nseen this guy around the internet talking
Dialogue: 0,0:09:09.54,0:09:13.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about his age reversal endeavours, but the\Nshit he does is pretty fuckin' insane
Dialogue: 0,0:09:13.54,0:09:14.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in my personal opinion.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:14.95,0:09:17.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I watched his full morning routine and it\Nis wild.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:17.78,0:09:19.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I just woke up-"
Dialogue: 0,0:09:19.01,0:09:22.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm not gonna play the whole thing cause\Nit's pretty lengthy, I'll do a quick
Dialogue: 0,0:09:22.71,0:09:23.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,run through.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:23.41,0:09:27.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He stars his morning by taking his\Ntemperature. He then stands in front of a
Dialogue: 0,0:09:27.04,0:09:30.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,light that imitates sunlight because he \Nwakes up before the sun rises of course.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:30.98,0:09:35.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He then takes iron and vitamin C, he then\Nweighs himself every morning by the way
Dialogue: 0,0:09:35.10,0:09:36.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and not just his body weight.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:36.53,0:09:42.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Weight, BMI, fat, muscle, visceral fat,\Nwater, bone, heart rate and EBA.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:42.77,0:09:45.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It also gives me the air quality in the \Narea."
Dialogue: 0,0:09:45.28,0:09:50.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Dude, I will go to the greatest lengths to\Nnot weigh myself. This guy does it every
Dialogue: 0,0:09:50.90,0:09:54.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,morning. Fuckin respect. Because for me,\Nthat is fucking torture, dude.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:54.90,0:09:58.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nah, maybe torture is a strong word. I can\Nimagine a Saw trap that's like
Dialogue: 0,0:09:58.39,0:10:00.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Stand on the scale, or die."
Dialogue: 0,0:10:00.00,0:10:04.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bryan then does five minutes of blue light\Ntherapy, he then does a meditation,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:04.58,0:10:09.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,some weird vibrator thing that he never\Nreally explains fully. He puts in eyedrops
Dialogue: 0,0:10:09.99,0:10:14.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then he prepares his daily pills.\NAnd this has gotta be the craziest shit I
Dialogue: 0,0:10:14.68,0:10:17.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,have ever seen. Think of how many pills\Nhe's gonna have.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:17.45,0:10:18.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's more than that.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:18.45,0:10:22.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't know how many pills are in here,\NI think last time we recorded it was
Dialogue: 0,0:10:22.12,0:10:25.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,something like over 50, maybe 60.\NThat looks like a lot more, I'm not sure
Dialogue: 0,0:10:25.68,0:10:26.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what's going on here."
Dialogue: 0,0:10:26.79,0:10:31.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,50 to 60 pills every day? Buddy swallows a\Nfuckin' entire pharmacy every morning dude
Dialogue: 0,0:10:31.51,0:10:35.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That is wild, he's gotta tone it down. \NI think Bryan's gotta incorporate a couple
Dialogue: 0,0:10:35.38,0:10:38.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of chill pills in there as well because\NJesus Christ man.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:38.12,0:10:42.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But Bryan still isn't done. He now puts\Nred light on his head to prevent hair loss
Dialogue: 0,0:10:42.43,0:10:45.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and if red light prevents hair loss, looks\Nlike I'm keeping mine forever.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:45.96,0:10:48.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sometimes when I'm driving, I hit so many\Nred lights.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:48.58,0:10:50.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then he preps his food for the day.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:50.34,0:10:53.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"This is what I'm gonna eat after we work\Nout. Overall it's a lot of
Dialogue: 0,0:10:53.54,0:10:56.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,vegetables every month. It's over\N50 pounds, I think."
Dialogue: 0,0:10:56.68,0:10:59.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I hate to break it to you, but that's\Nshit from a butt.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:59.27,0:11:02.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"People look at it and they say it's green\Ngoop and make fun of it."
Dialogue: 0,0:11:02.51,0:11:06.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Course I'm gonna make fun of it. \NThat looks like baby shit, what the fuck?
Dialogue: 0,0:11:06.05,0:11:09.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I found out this guy has a son too.\NGotta suck to have this guy as a dad.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:09.54,0:11:10.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'Sorry son, you're grounded.'
Dialogue: 0,0:11:10.92,0:11:11.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'Eat shit, dad.'
Dialogue: 0,0:11:11.72,0:11:12.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'I do.'
Dialogue: 0,0:11:12.42,0:11:16.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He's still not done by the way. He then \Nprepares his second meal of the day which
Dialogue: 0,0:11:16.36,0:11:18.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he calls nutty pudding\N"Nutty pudding-"
Dialogue: 0,0:11:18.33,0:11:21.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which is like a protein powder that he\Nactually sells on his website.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:21.75,0:11:25.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Maybe it's called that because you gotta\Nbe a little nutty if you're gonna be
Dialogue: 0,0:11:25.50,0:11:26.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'pudding' that into your body.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:27.56,0:11:31.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And would you believe me if I told you\Nhis morning routine still isn't done?
Dialogue: 0,0:11:31.27,0:11:32.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No it's not!
Dialogue: 0,0:11:32.06,0:11:36.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We're like fuckin' halfway through it dude\Nby the time this morning routine is done
Dialogue: 0,0:11:36.04,0:11:39.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he's gonna have to start his bedtime \Nroutine. Because Jesus this is taking all
Dialogue: 0,0:11:39.84,0:11:40.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,fuckin' day.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:40.60,0:11:44.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So after making his poop and sand, he does\Na quick workout and then he finally eats
Dialogue: 0,0:11:44.58,0:11:48.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,his breakfast. That honestly seems like so\Nmuch work compared to my morning routine.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:48.58,0:11:52.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My entire morning routine can be summed up\Nwith the first two words of Chop Suey by
Dialogue: 0,0:11:52.58,0:11:53.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,System of a Down.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:53.48,0:11:54.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Wake up-"
Dialogue: 0,0:11:54.20,0:11:57.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's it man, that's it. I'm awake.\NAnd that's the thing, it's wild seeing
Dialogue: 0,0:11:57.72,0:12:01.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,morning routines like this because, like,\Nwho is this for? I made this point in my
Dialogue: 0,0:12:01.66,0:12:05.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Living Like a Billionaire for a Week video\Nbut like 99% of people do not have the
Dialogue: 0,0:12:05.55,0:12:09.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,time to do this shit when they wake up.\NHe says in this video that his morning
Dialogue: 0,0:12:09.25,0:12:11.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,routine can take up to four hours.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:11.19,0:12:14.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"My morning routine is about three to four\Nhours, it varies on any given day
Dialogue: 0,0:12:14.78,0:12:16.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sometimes I go-"\NToo long.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:16.16,0:12:19.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is just not realistic to normal \Npeople. But honestly, I don't know why
Dialogue: 0,0:12:19.82,0:12:23.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm getting so hung up on this guy, like\Nwho even cares what this guy has to say
Dialogue: 0,0:12:23.80,0:12:26.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,anyway? He doesn't even have the erection\Nof an 18-year-old.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:31.67,0:12:35.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Uh, yeah. I feel like even a manicurist\Nwould say that's the grossest thumbnail
Dialogue: 0,0:12:35.38,0:12:39.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they've ever seen. What the fuck is that.\NI also found this really interesting video
Dialogue: 0,0:12:39.38,0:12:43.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of Bryan Johnson. He's using yet some\Nother fuckin' crazy contraption to make
Dialogue: 0,0:12:43.54,0:12:44.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,himself younger.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:44.41,0:12:48.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Today I'm going to show you the machine I\Nuse that allows me to do the equivalent of
Dialogue: 0,0:12:48.43,0:12:54.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,20,000 sit-ups in 30 minutes time.\NI've set the machine to 100% and 15 so
Dialogue: 0,0:12:54.44,0:12:57.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's the max level. This is definitely not\Nsomething you wanns start with
Dialogue: 0,0:12:57.88,0:13:03.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what it feels like is, it's pulling your \Nentire stomach out. Like ripping it out.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:03.05,0:13:04.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Strap it on-"
Dialogue: 0,0:13:04.62,0:13:09.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Imagine he starts the machine and it's\Njust like, 'aaaah! It hurts, it hurts!
Dialogue: 0,0:13:09.07,0:13:12.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Kill me! Just kill me, put me out of my\Nmisery, aaaah!'
Dialogue: 0,0:13:13.10,0:13:14.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}Exercise complete{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:13:15.12,0:13:18.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Alright, now if you guys want one of these\Nhit the link in my bio.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:18.41,0:13:22.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Also, like a part of his face is like\Ndiscoloured in this, it's like yellow.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:22.02,0:13:25.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,His face is like yellow in this video. \NI don't know if that's healthy, right?
Dialogue: 0,0:13:25.70,0:13:28.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Is he going through the new experimental\NSimpsons treatment?
Dialogue: 0,0:13:28.62,0:13:32.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So yeah, this Bryan Johnson guy is like \Nthe final boss of anti-aging
Dialogue: 0,0:13:32.14,0:13:35.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I don't think I'm ready to experience\Nthat just yet, I gotta work my way up
Dialogue: 0,0:13:35.86,0:13:38.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,right? \NAnd I think I found the perfect person.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:38.07,0:13:42.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,His name is Brandon Miles May, or\N@brandonskincare
Dialogue: 0,0:13:42.07,0:13:45.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he has been getting pretty popular on\NTikTok recently and here's why.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:45.52,0:13:50.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I'm 35 and many people ask me if I don't\Nsmile or laugh to prevent fine lines and
Dialogue: 0,0:13:50.32,0:13:54.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,wrinkles. And it's not true, I do laugh\Nand I do smile. This is how I laugh
Dialogue: 0,0:13:54.05,0:14:00.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,without using Botox and for preventing \Nfine lines and wrinkles. Ahaha, ahaha!"
Dialogue: 0,0:14:00.68,0:14:05.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, so he's obviously doing a bit in\Nthis video, but this guy is allegedly 35
Dialogue: 0,0:14:05.72,0:14:09.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,years old. For someone who looks that\Nyoung, I'd assume he would have like a
Dialogue: 0,0:14:09.39,0:14:12.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,fucking Jimmy Neutron-sized head\Nbecause his head's gotta be full of
Dialogue: 0,0:14:12.91,0:14:13.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,youthful thoughts.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:13.96,0:14:17.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When I first saw this video, I felt like I\Nwas being, like, possessed by a far right
Dialogue: 0,0:14:17.91,0:14:21.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,conservative because all I wanted to\Ncomment was, 'show me your birth
Dialogue: 0,0:14:21.26,0:14:24.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,certificate.' Because I just couldn't\Nbelieve it, honestly still
Dialogue: 0,0:14:24.35,0:14:27.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,don't believe it, but that's the story\Nhe's sticking with so that's great.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:27.91,0:14:31.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He takes this shit pretty serious so, you\Nknow what? Sure. He's 35.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This guy is five years older than me.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And Brandon's entire internet persona is\Nbased around anti-aging.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He eats food for the sole purpose of\Nanti-aging. Same as his skincare routine.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Even his clothing helps him stay young.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Anti-aging outfit of the day! \NAre you ready for this?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"So today is really warm, so it's pretty\Nbasic. I have a UPF 50 hoodie on
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,right here this is- has the thumb holes\Nfor the backs of the hands, but I can also
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,use this to protect the sides of my face,\NI have my big sunglasses on to protect
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like pretty much half of my face,\NI have a UPF 50 cap that has a long bill
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm wearing J.Crew shorts and sunscreen on\Nmy legs."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you can tell, any clothing that Brandon\Nwears it, uh, it protects him from the sun
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because according to him the sun is the\Nmain contributor to the aging of the skin.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I just practice safe sun protective \Nbehaviours because the sun contributes
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,up to 90% of the skin's visible signs of\Naging."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And he's not wrong. the sun is incredibly\Ndangerous for your skin if you don't
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,protect yourself. So he wears clothing\Nthat is UPF 50, and that stands for
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ultraviolet Protection Factor.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And apparently UPF 50 clothing blocks 98%\Nof the sun's rays.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This guy would probably still be a fuckin'\Nbaby if it blocked 100%.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I gotta say though, including the\Nsunscreen in the fit check-
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"And sunscreen on my legs-"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's genuinely one of the funniest\Nthings I've ever seen.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,People gotta start getting like super \Nspecific like that in those like
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'walk me through your fit' videos.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Alright, walk me through your fit."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Alright well first off I got the toupee\Non my head, Gucci t-shirts,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,swollen nipples from when my older brother\Npurple nurpled me this morning,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Dolce & Gabbana jeans, preparation H on my\Nhaemorrhoid, herpes medication on my
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,wiener and I got the Prada shoes with my\Nankle monitor from my house arrest."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"House arrest?"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Police! Get your hands up,\Nget down on the ground!"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Also just copped a taser in the back."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And this is all well and good, but I feel\Nlike at a certain point it's like kind of
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,impossible to avoid the sun. And also like\Nwhy would you rob yourself of that joy?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's like no better feeling than having\Nthe sun on your face.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like what about when you're driving,\Nwhat are you gonna do then?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Maybe like, you know those sun blockers\Nthat people put on their car windows when
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they park their car?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I imagine Brandon just has that over his \Nwindshield at all times, just absolutely
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,mowing people down, can't see shit...
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sorry, let's get back to Brandon,\Nlet's see what kind of food he's eating so
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he can keep that youthful glow.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Here's what I'm eating for dinner tonight\Nfor the purposes of anti-aging.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is steamed broccoli and steamed bell\Npeppers, the broccoli is high in vitamin C
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,good for collagen synthesis, it also\Ncontains sulforaphane which increases NRF2
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,NRF2 pathway-"\N{\i1}overlapping dialog{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This guy's just making up words.\NWhat the fuck was all that shit.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm convinced he's speaking in tongues\Ndude, he needs to be, he needs to be
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,exorcised by a priest. And I can't help\Nbut think about that tweet,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of a person who's meal prepping broccoli,\Nchicken and eggs and someone quote tweeted
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it with, 'okay mr fart'.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's all I'm thinking of when I look at\Nthat dinner, dude. This dude's farts could
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,probably make you hallucinate bro.\NOh, you know what? Maybe that's what UPF
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,stands for. Ur Prolly Farting.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I also just watched a video from Brandon\Nsaying that he eats pizza once a quarter.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I would say about 95% of the time I eat\Neverything that I show here on TikTok
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about 5% of the time, yes I'll go out with\Na friend or like my partner or somebody
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we will maybe get pizza, maybe like\Nevery quarter or so we might have pizza
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's not like a big deal for me."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Which sounds like a brutal existence dude,\Na pizza every quarter?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just one pizza a quarter?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'd have a quarter of a pizza every hour\Nif I could, dude.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like I said earlier, I wanna see how\Neffective this anti-aging lifestyle really
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is. So for the next week, I'm gonna live \Nmy life the exact same way Brandon does.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And we'll see if I end up looking any\Nyounger. But first, we need to lock down a
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,daily routine.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay so luckily, Brandon has a lot of\Nvideos detailing pretty much everything he
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,does in a typical day for anti-aging.\NLet's start off with what I'm gonna be
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,eating this week.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He has a video called\N'What I eat in a day for anti-aging'.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To summarise that video, Brandon has a \Ndark roast coffee in the morning and then
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,an hour or two later, he has breakfast\Nwhich sucks for me because the first thing
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on my mind when I wake up is what I'm\Ngonna eat for breakfast.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For breakfast he says he makes a green\Nsmoothie on days where he isn't fasting.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I figured I'd do a smoothie pretty much\Nevery day and then one day I'll try to go
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,fasting and see how that goes.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then a few hours later he makes a\Nhumongous salad for lunch.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He then makes a hot chocolate made of 100%\Ncacao, cocoa powder, almon milk and salt.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I don't know about you guys but I like\Nmy hot chocolate sweet as hell.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So let's see how he sweetens it.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"No sweetener, I don't add any sweetener \Nor sugar, so it is bitter."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Great.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And for dinner, Brandon usually does\Nsalmon or some other kind of fish for
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,omega-3. I don't know what those are, it\Nsounds like it could be one of the fuckin'
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Autobots.\N'Omega-3, roll out.'
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then alongside the salmon Brandon also\Nhas broccoli and
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"my favourite fall vegetable, a sweet\Npotato."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then for dessert he does frozen\Nblueberries and dark chocolate.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So that's gonna be pretty much my diet\Nevery single day this week.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And there were some other foods in his \NTikTok and stuff, like hard boiled eggs
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and avocado and stuff that I'll sprinkle\Nin here and there.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And also, god, real quick. I gotta say,\Nlove the energy Brandon's YouTube profile
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,picture is giving off, I love it dude.\NIt looks like I'm seeing him through a
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,peephole.\NAnd obviously another pinnacle of
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,anti-aging is exercise. \NBrandon starts his day with a 10 minute
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,stretch, and this next part's gonna be\Npretty hard, but Brandon aims to hit
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,20,000 steps a day.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I've been trying to reach for 20,000\Nsteps-"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's a lot of steps, ok? Especially to\Na guy who has mastered the art of parking
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it, but Brandon actually uses this little \Ntreadmill, this like walking pad while he
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,works and stuff, so I went ahead and\Nordered that same treadmill because
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can't possibly think of another way to\Nget 20,000 steps in a day.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Especially during the summertime.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Brandon then does some weightlifting with\Nsome 12-pound weights
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that'll be no problem.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that's his daily workout routine.\NSeems pretty low impact, which is nice.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But compared to my usual workout routine\Nthat consists of 20 reps of hanging out
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,followed by three sets of chilling,\Nthis is gonna be a big change for me.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Uh, yeah. The only push up I do is push up\Non the D-pad, cause I'm a freaking gamer.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I paused my game to be here.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know I can eat and exercise all I want\Nbut if I don't look the part then
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what am I doing? So I'm gonna order \Nsome UPF 50 clothing as well.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And wow, look at these.\NHoly crap, these are ugly.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They're not ugly, sorry. \NThey're just not what I would wear.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's like, there's not even one ironic\Nvintage graphic t-shirt on here
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what the fuck?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I guess it's nice that these clothes\Nprotect you from the sun, but it doesn't
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,say anything about protecting you from \Ninsults. So I'm pretty nervous about that.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I'm gonna give these a genuine try.\NSo I'm gonna order some of these.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And last but not least, Brandon made a \Nvideo going through some tips and tricks
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about anti-aging that nobody really talks\Nabout.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"So whenever I am, like, cooking a meal\Nand I'm baking and I'm using the oven,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I will be very very hesitant to just reach\Nmy hand in there with just a mitten."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Damn, your skin can't even get warm?\NWhat the fuck? That's not real.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"People who bake things for a living have\Nmore aged skin on their dominant hand
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the hand that they use for putting things\Nin the oven and pulling things out."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Also the example he uses...
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He says people who work in kitchens\Nage poorly?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That might be true, but I can guarantee\Nyou that's not because of the heat.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've worked in restaurants before, ok?\NIf it's not the cigarettes, booze and
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}sniff{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that ages them poorly, it's the\Nunnecessary amount of stress they put
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,themselves through.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'Ugh I'm so mad, the restaurant I work at\Nthat sells food is selling too much food.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I gotta yell at Curtis and get more hand \Ntattoos about this.'
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sorry to all the line cooks and stuff\Nout there but I think that's just personal
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,work trauma I'm working through that-\Nnothing on you guys.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Tip number two, flying in airplanes, \NI always choose a window seat so that
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can control when the window is up and\Ndown because when you're in higher
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,altitudes, UV- UVA in particular is\Nstrongest at those highest altitudes-"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah I guess that makes sense, but like a\Ncouple hours of sunlight isn't gonna
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,fucking kill you. Well actually, I don't\Nknow. It might kill him.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't know.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,As you get on a flight, you're in the\Nwindow seat, sitting next to you is
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Brandon Skincare, you look over, you open\Nthe window, sun shines through and then
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you look back at Brandon and there's just\Na pile of ash there.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Tip number three is wearing white\Nclothing. The sun comes down and reflects
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,UV off of that white significantly more so\Nthan any other colour."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Alright, this is terrible news for me\Nbecause I actually really love wearing
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,white t-shirts, that's my favourite thing \Nto wear because I got this cool thing
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,called dandruff. So when I wear black my\Nshoulders kind of look like a fuckin'
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Charli XCX concert. But who knows? Maybe\Nall this healthy eating I do this week
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,will somehow cure my dandruff.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"When you have bright lights on at night,\Nlike just everywhere in your house and
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you're watching TV and you're on your\Nphone and you're on your devices
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this blue light and this visible light is\Nstimulating your serotonin levels when
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's not supposed to be stimulated, and \Nyour circadian rhythm is getting all out
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of whack."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Got, this is also gonna be a huge change. \NLike I'm playing video games and working
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,until like 1AM fuckin' like every night.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Literally the lonely stoner seems to free\Nhis mind at night, I don't know if he's
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,heard that before. \NBut now Brandon's saying no bright lights
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,at night? That ain't right!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"And also socialising and connecting with \Nothers is really really important."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay, so I gotta hang out with my friends\Nand my wife this week.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think I can make that happen.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Maintaining an overall positive attitude\Njust overall can be connected to these
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,things, you know relaxation and reducing\Nnegativity. Negativity is a powerful
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,detriment to your anti-aging goals.\NA lot of people who are just negative
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,overall tend to have a reduced life span \Nand just more health issues overall,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,tends to be a correlation there, \Nan association."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's dumb. That's stupid.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Fuck dude, being negative shortens your\Nlife? Nice knowing you guys!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Jesus Christ dude.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"And number 10 tip is basically not\Ndrinking alcohol-"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay. Come on, man.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How you gonna tell me to be social but not\Nhave any alcohol?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, great thing for anti-aging is to go \Nskydiving but don't wear a parachute!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Maybe he's just talking about hard liquor,\Nright?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'I'm sure he's not meaning 100 million\Nbeers, right friend?'
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I just don't drink personally because I \Nknow that there's really no benefit to
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,alcohol."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No benefits to alcohol? Okay, you tell\Nthat to my hands that I'm not sure what to
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,do with at a concert.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Alright, I think we've got a firm\Nunderstanding of what my anti-aging week
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is gonna look like, but I think before I\Ndive into the shallow end and break my
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,neck, I need one final day of getting all\Nthe fun shit I like doing out of my system
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I got a haircut.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I had my quarterly pizza the night\Nbefore my week of anti-aging
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and with a chest full of heartburn\NI stared at my computer screen for the
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,rest of the night. I've been really busy \Ngetting ready for tour and everything
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I knew I wasn't gonna have that much\Ntime to do it this week, so I had to get
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as much done as I possibly could.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That being said, I also played some video\Ngames.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you're wondering what video game I was \Nplaying, then you're in luck.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because it's time to talk about the\Nsponsor of this week's video
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Zenless Zone Zero.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Zenless Zone Zero is a brand new, free to\Nplay, action role-playing game set in a
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,stylish urban fantasy world that's\Navailable to plat on PC, PS5 and on mobile
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Zenless Zone Zero is also published by\NHoyoverse, the makers of Genshin Impact.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So you already know that this game is a \Ncertified banger.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've been plating Zenless Zone Zero, or \NZZZ, for the past few days and I
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,absolutely love it. In ZZZ, you take on\Nthe role of Proxy and embark on a
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,thrilling adventure with a diverse group\Nof partners to defeat enemies and unravel
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,mysteries in the uniquely designed city of\NNew Eridu. And I'm completely obsessed
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with the art style, music, voice acting\Nand animations
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but my favourite part of ZZZ is its fluid\Ncombat system that's simple enough for
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,newcomers but diverse enough to provide a\Nchallenge for experienced players.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And with so many playable characters\Ncombat is always fresh and exciting.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And speaking of playable characters, I \Ngotta tell you about the game's newest
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,character coming with the 1.1 update:\NJane Doe.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She's a physical anomaly character who\Nspecialises in rapid attacks to take down
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,her enemies and that's pretty much the \Nplaystyle I use in like every RPG I play
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so I'm super excited to add Jane Doe to my\Nteam in Zenless Zone Zero.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So if you've been itching to jump into a \Nnew game with a vibrant art style
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a compelling story, intriguing characters\Nand rewarding, impactful combat
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then look no further than \NZenless Zone Zero.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And like I said earlier it's completely \Nfree to play and it's available on PC, PS5
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and mobile, so what are you waiting for?\NClick my link in the description and
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,experience the excitement of Zenless Zone\NZero for yourself.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you so much to Zenless Zone Zero for\Nsponsoring this video, back to me.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I stared at the screen until my eyes\Npopped out of my skull, freakin' gamer
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,style. And oh yeah, I also had a beer\Nbecause I wasn't gonna be able to have any
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this week, so I enjoyed the hell out of\Nthis thing. {\i1}burp{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That beer was almost as nice as \NDonkey Kong's ass.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That was epic, now let's get young.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I bought a bunch of shit.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Uhh, I forget how much everything was\NI think it was like $400 for everything.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Never mind, I was wrong. It was like $470\Nso pretty much like 500 bucks. Insane.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh no, sorry, plus the groceries.\NWe got everything from Whole Foods
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because where Brandon buys everything\Nand uh, that place is pretty pricey, I'll
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,say that. I think they call it Whole Foods\Nbecause they put a hole in my wallet.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let's go through what I purchased.\NFirst up, this big thing right behind me
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,right here\N{\i1}clang{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's the uh, my walking thing,\Nmy treadmill, my little walking pad.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm gonna set it up down here in my \Nrecently flooded basement, uh
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's super empty right now.\NThis will be my walking zone for the next
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,week. Just an empty, white...\N'a bitch.'
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let's go through what I got.\NSo this is the, oh, this is like a little
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't even fuckin' know what I bought.\NBut this is like a band and you can wear
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it as so many other things.\NA wristband, aliceband, blindfuld?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, good idea. Just walk around like\Nthat all day?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Scrunchie, headband, hatliner, cap, durag,\N{\i1}oooooh{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Am I gonna get away?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Pirate\N'arrr!'
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sunguard, face mask, hood, balaclava. \NSo I bought like 16 things in one dude.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it's completely U... UFP... UPF 50.\NUPF Chang's.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I should be good to go there.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh yeah, I forgot to say this when I was\Nrecording, but everything I saw on here
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was on Brandon's like Amazon storefront\Na lot of the stuff wasn't available on
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Canadian Amazon so I had to like, find \Nsome alternatives, but most of it was from
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Brandon's Amazon page.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'It's a black square!'
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay, and then I've got some blue light\Nblocking glasses, Gy Snail.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}Gy Snail{\i0}\N{\i1}Ohhhh yeah.{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How do I look? Wow.\NEverything looks like it's covered in piss
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's pretty cool. Alright next up are my\Nsupplements, I got this probiotic, I also
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,got this borage oil? Boraj? Borat?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'I got this Borat oil, my wife.'
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Essential fatty acids, this thing just \Ncalled me a fatty.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then I got this uh, Super EFA!\NThis is something else, this is
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Madagascar Centella Ampoule.\NAm... am-pool, am-pool.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't know what it does, but I do like\Nthe movie Madagascar, so if it's anything
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like that I think I'm fucking set.\NI also got these Vital Proteins.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One single ingredient.\N*All the single ingredients, all the
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}single ingredients{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Last but not least, we got some food.\NI got sunflower seeds, black sesame seeds
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,chia, cacao nibs, cocoa powder, cannellini\Nbeans, some kelp?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Spongebob Squarepants-ass food.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then I got some 100% Hundo.\NDark chocolate.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Unsweetened almond milk for my smoothies\Nand my hot chocolate.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I got these red peppers, I got these red\Nonions, sweet potatoes, broccoli, spinach
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,uh and some salad mix for like, the salad.\NAnd that's pretty much it.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,By the end of this video, I am gonna be\Na {\i1}foetus{\i0}.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I got eight hours of sleep my first day\Nwhich was really nice but my dog woke me
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,up really early because he had to piss and\Nshit. {\i1}awww{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I took him piss and shit and then I \Nimmediately made myself an anti-aging
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,coffee. And yes, that's the same as a \Nregular coffee but I was just manifesting
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that it was gonna make me younger.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, so I wanted to use a glass mug to \Nlike, prove to you guys that I actually
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was drinking black coffee, but the only\Nsee-through mug I have is this Instagram
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,one that I stole from my old office job.\NAnd it's probably the cheugiest thing I
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,own so, apologies for that.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But first, coffee.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like I said earlier in the video, the \Nfirst thing I wanna do when I wake up is
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,eat food, and usually I'd make like a\Nbreakfast sandwich or a burrito or toast
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or a bagel you know, something with bread.\NBut today I had to make a Brandon Miles
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,May green smoothie.\NAnd now that I'm thinking about it,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if Brandon Miles May was really all about\Nthat anti-aging lifestyle, you know if he
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,really cared about freakin' rewinding the\Nclock, his name would be
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Brandon Miles April.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I put a bunch of spinach, a carrot,\Nalmond milk, water, an avocado,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,oh that looks like what my dog did this \Nmorning.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I put in some chia seeds, this collagen \Npeptides powder that I smelled way too
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,hard so I got some up my nose,\Nand then I put in a banana, some black
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sesame seeds and some ice. \NAnd then I blended it all up.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, if you weren't hungry before \Nwatching this video, sorry.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You definitely are now.\NYou're probably drooling like crazy right
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,now, it's fucking disgusting.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I was so excited to drink this\Nsmoothie guys, it kind of looks like the
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,shit that the plant dad tried to feed his \Nkids in that one Goosebumps episode
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Stay Out of the Basement.\NAnd I've always wanted to try that, so
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this was pretty cool.\NBut after all the hard work, breakfast was
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,served. I ain't never seen two pretty \Nbest friends.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And oh yeah, I also prepped some\Ncontainers so I can just add milk and
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,water and blend them up to save some time\Ngoing forward.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Alright, good morning on the first day of \Nme becoming a little baby.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have my smoothie here, I have pretty \Nmuch every single ingredient under the sun
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Down the hatch!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}slurping noises{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's great.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's just spinach I taste because that's\Nall I put in there but-
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}Emememe{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That was me being Popeye. \NI wanna be Popeye.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But hey, if I don't like the flavour, at\Nleast I have this nice black coffee to
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,wash it all down with.\NI'm just gonna hang out here and...
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and drink this.\NAnd real quick, I'm making it seem like
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm a really picky eater, but I promise \Nyou I'm not. I eat a lot of food, I love
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,all food pretty much, uh, except for \Ncilantro. I have the gene that makes it
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,taste like soap to me, so anytime I \Naccidentally eat cilantro it tastes like
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm being punished for like saying a \Nswear word.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But honestly, I think putting a legit bar\Nof soap into this blunder would've made it
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,taste a lot better. Because this fucking\Ngreen smoothie, it tasted like cement bro.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It took me so long to fucking drink it.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sorry I'm being negative and that ages you
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'The smoothie was so good!'
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay I've been filming this about half-\N35 minutes. A half hour.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So it's taking me a half hour to drink \Nall this. I got one final... slurp.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But after some hard work and determination\NI finally finished the smoothie.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Never felt so young in my life
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Except uh... that's a half hour I'll never\Nfucking get back.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Brandon said in his videos that it's\Nalways good to rest after eating your
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,breakfast because it helps with digestion.\NAnd I was like 'that's fuckin' stupid, why
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,would you need to rest after it?'\NBut after doing that, I get it.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That was the most mentally strenuous thing\NI've had to do, was get through this
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,fucking thing, so good night!\N{\i1}snore{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Instantly fall asleep.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'I finally rest and watch the sun rise on\Na grateful universe.'
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Also woah, I just realised the walls of my\Nliving room are the exact same colour as
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the smoothie I had. Or maybe they aren't,\NI'm just hallucinating.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now it's time for my stretches!\N{\i1}Oh yeah{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I followed along with Brandon's video and\Nyou know what, I will say these actually
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,felt pretty nice. Whether or not doing\Nthese stretches actually makes me look
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,younger, I do wanna try to incorporate\Nthis into my everyday life going forward
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because it felt great. You can quote me on\Nthis, there's nothing better than getting
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,stretched out.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I especially loved this stretch. I kinda\Nlook like a cat who's about to puke.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I stretched for about 10 minutes and \Noh yeah, one of the stretches reminded me
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of my karate lessons I took 20 years ago\Nso that was also pretty fun.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay so, first morning routine is pretty \Nmuch done.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, I don't know if this is because of\Nthe smoothie or the stretching but
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you know what? I do feel a bit more \Nenergised than I usually do.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then again that could be like a placebo\Neffect. But no, this guy doesn't really
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,have sugar, so I guess placebo wouldn't \Nreally exist.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Uh, I do have some work that I gotta get\Ndone and then I guess I'm gonna start
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,getting my steps in. But yeah, so far \Nso good, I think.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How do I look? I feel like I look older\Nbecause I haven't shaved yet.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The more hair you have, the older you look
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And after I finished some work I went down\Nto the basement because it was treadmill
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,time, brother.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Alright, I'm in the basement again. \NTime to unbox this uh, fucking little
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,walking pad as they call it.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How many steps am I at right now? \NIt is currently 12:27, I'm at 2,000 steps
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so I need 18,000 more so...
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, it's a lot.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I started unboxing my walking pad and this\Nthing was
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'fully loaded with tons of cool stuff!'
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,An L-key, yes!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It also came with this remote control\Nand it also came with this.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay so it came with lubri- lubricant oil?\NWhy'd they give me lube?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How you gonna give me lube, and also put\Nsomething that says 'warm tips'?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I really thought this walking pad was \Ngonna be a huge game changer for me
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because I can get my steps in without the\Nsun ever touching my skin and just ruining
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,my life. But I forgot that one of the best\Nparts of walking outside is like, looking
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,around at shit. Seeing a bird crap on the \Nground, seeing a squirrel have sex.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'Oh, cool shit!'
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So like, after 10 seconds on the walking\Npad, I was like immediately bored out of
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,my mind. The future is now. You get all\Nthe joy of walking outside without the
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,nice warmth from the sun. So... I just \Ngotta do this for like an hour.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ok, I can definitely see why people have\Nthese with like a standing desk because
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this is kind of just like, you're not\Nreally exerting too much energy and you
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,can still sort of like do something.\NBut I'm really bored right now.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Maybe I'll read, maybe I'll read a book\Nwhile I do this or something.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That'd be pretty cool. Just all the books \Nare over there. And I'm here.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If only there was a way for me to move...
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If there was only some sort of way I could\Nmove my legs that would in turn make my
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,whole body move to where I want it to go.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One day.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Backward style, ohhh, oh my god!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So this was my view for the next half hour\Nand let me tell you I have never felt
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,younger in my life. Even though the\Nyoungest people I've ever seen in my life
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,are never walking. They can't. They can't \Nwalk. So if I really wanna start acting
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,young I should just throw on a diaper and\Nthrow a tantrum on the ground.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I don't know if it was the leisurely\Nstroll I took for 30 minutes, or the fact
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I had blended up spinach for\Nbreakfast, but I was starting to get
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,hungie. So I went upstairs to make my\Nlunch. Brandon says he usually makes a
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,huge salad for lunch every day so I \Nfollowed his tutorial as close as I could.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I put spring mix, a bell pepper, sunflower\Nseeds, black sesame seeds, olive oil and
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,balsamic vinegar. I also fried up some\Nbeans and onions, and I also made a
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,hard-boiled egg. Because I was fucking\Nstarving and I knew a salad wasn't gonna
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,fill me up and I've also seen Brandon eat\Nthose things before.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That yellow stuff on top isn't my fucking\Ndandruff or anything, it is nutritional
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,yeast. Pretty good yeast.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And this salad actually tasted really\Nfucking good. I'll admit it.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Brandon Miles May have been cooking with\Nthis recipe, I fear.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or maybe it was good because I was fucking\Nstarving, but I ate the whole damn thing.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I'm not afraid to say it.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now it's time for my supplements!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's what I say when I see a bunch of \NAltoids. Sup, little mints?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why'd they make these so fucking big?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And in Brandon's video where he shows what\Nhe eats in a day, he makes his famous hot
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,chocolate right after lunch, so that's\Nwhat I did as well.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I heated up some unsweetened almond milk,\NI put in some cocoa powder and then some
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of these cacao nibs because I couldn't\Nfind the wafers that he uses.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Wafer I barely know her.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I cooked them for a while, but this is \Nwhen I realised um, I don't fucking know
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what cacao nibs are. What the fuck are\Nthey? Because I was fully under the
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,impression that they were just gonna melt\Ninto the milk, but they did not.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They just got wet.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What the fuck are cocoa nibs? Cacao nibs.\NCacao!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So even though I made it incorrectly, I \Nstill had a delicious hot chocolate ready
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to be consumed. So let's give it a try.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, this thing tasted like fucking shit.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know sugar bad for you but honestly, I\Nthink drinking literal dirt water is worse
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If I ordered a hot chocolate somewhere and\Nthey gave me that, I'm throwing it in
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,their face and I am gladly going to jail\Nfor it okay? Because that is fucking evil.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"This coffee smells like shit!"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"It is shit."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For the next few hours, I was just working\Nin my office and then around dinnertime
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had some salmon with carrots and\Npotatoes and this is pretty good because
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it was just ,you know, a pretty normal-ass\Nmeal. But then it was time for dessert!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is like if Charlie and the Chocolate \NFactory had zero fun.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And Brandon's dessert of choice is frozen\Nblueberries and dark chocolate.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I have a feeling it's gonna look the \Nexact same coming out.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Compared to the hot chocolate this \Nactually wasn't too bad, but you know,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,obviously still not an ideal dessert.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So if you could eat like a rock.\NPicture just eating a rock.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I unfortunately did not get 20,000 steps\Non my first day because I fuckin', I spent
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the whole day cooking. I feel like I had\Nno fuckin' time to take that many steps.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Unless you count all the steps that it \Ntook to make that fuckin' smoothie.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because there's like 20,000 ingredients\Nin it. So you know what? Sure, how 'bout
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that. Yes I did, I got 20,000 steps, okay?\NSo it was like 9PM at this point and I
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,needed to go through the final edit of my\Ncomedy special Python that you can watch
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,right now for free on my YouTube channel\Nif you want.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But using these glasses was a little weird\Nespecially when you're like, reviewing
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,footage because it made everything look\Nlike it was at the bottom of a pool that
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is uh, filled with piss. So I just looked \Nlike an idiot when the only feedback I had
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was "This too yellow, fix it. Change it."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thanks a lot, glasses.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But with that my first day of anti-aging\Nwas complete. And it was time for me to go
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Tuesday mode.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I woke up and realised my shirt needs to\Nstart having some green smoothis 'cause
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that thing is wrinkly, god damn.\NDisgusting.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I needed to walk my dog so I put some \Nsunscreen on so I could brave the elements
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and when I got back I started getting \Nreally hungry, but this was the day that I
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was gonna start fasting in the morning, so\NI was only allowed to have a coffee.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But you know what, if I'm being honest, \Neating nothing is actually better than
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,eating that "smoothie". So I actually \Nwasn't too broken up about it.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I did my morning stretches and this time I\Nincorporated a quick plank 'cause that's
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,hilarious, and by the time I was done all\Nmy stretches and everything it was like
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,11:30. And that's when I used to have a \Nlittle snack when I was a little boy so I
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,figured I was allowed to eat some food\Nnow. And for my snack, I had one
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,hard-boiled egg. And that hard-boiled egg \Ngot me thinking about my own anti-aging
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,goals.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A few hours later I went downstairs and \Nmade the same salad as the day before
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but for the next few days I unfortunately\Nhad to make and eat everything in my
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,dining room, well I didn't have to eat\Neverything in the dining room. I didn't
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,have to eat like the chairs and the tables\Nbut I had to eat food-
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was getting my kitchen redone, I was\Ngetting my kitchen floors redone
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so I couldn't really use my kitchen, so\Nyeah really shit timing to film a video
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that requires a really strict diet when \Nyour kitchen is getting a makeover.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But then again, so was I.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I also saw a TikTok from Brandon saying \Nthat cherry tomatoes were a really good
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,snack for anti-aging. And one's perfect\Nbecause my wife Jenna is growing a bunch
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of cherry tomatoes right now.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Cherry tomatoes, organic cherry tomatoes,\Nyou know what these contain? Lycopene."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Pause, bro. Peen?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Lycopene."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Lycopene? I don't like a peen at all! \NI like no peen.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I didn't wanna do it but, you know, for\Nanti- aging purposes I grinned and beared
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it, I ate the cherry tomatoes while \Nrepeating 'no homo' in my head over and
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,over again and thy were awesome. \NAlmost as awesome as a guy's penis.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then I took my supplements as I \Nprepared for my first journey outside to
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,face my number one foe, the sun.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it's interesting because like, all the\Nother wellness lifestyles I've tried, like
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the billionaire lifestyle, the vision\Nhealing lifestyle, they all praise the sun
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and its healing properties, but with this\Nanti-aging lifestyle, the sun is like this
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,evil villain that needs to be avoided at \Nall times.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I reapplied sunscreen and sat outside\Nwith my dog, Kiwi.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not without my UPF 50 hat that looks\Nreally cool, guys.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it does look good on me, okay? And if\NI see one comment that says otherwise,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then I implore you to reconsider.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I look like Zorro.\NSee how the audio weirdly cut out in this
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,clip for some reason? Off- camera, my wife\Nshe immediately agreed with me.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She actually said I looked cooler than\NZorro. So that was pretty nice.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We hung out outside for a little longer\Nand I can't explain how nice it was to be
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,outside in the sun. I know it ages you \Nlike crazy, but after a day of
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,purposefully staying inside and hiding\Nfrom it, I just felt so good.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, laugh all you want. I'm gonna be\Nlaughing all the way to the bank.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I won't be able to open a bank account\Nbecause I'll be... I'll be too young!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm too young, they're gonna say, "you're\Ntoo... you must be too young for that,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for this. You're a little baby boy!"
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A few hours later we ordered some food for\Nlunch because we couldn't use our kitchen.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I just ordered some salad and some \Nsteamed broccoli, yum!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you know, you're probably thinking\Neating all these healthy foods would make
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,me feel incredible, right? But a pretty\Nlarge problem was beginning to become
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,apparent.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay, so I've been doing this routine for\Nlike, two days, two full days now.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This might be TMI but uh, I haven't, \NI haven't g- gone to the bathroom.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I- I've pissed. I've been pissing, uh I \Nstay pissing. But I... I haven't gone
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,number two yet. Kinda weird because I'm\Nusually a pretty regular guy, I don't know
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what's going on. My body's like, 'where\Nis all the bread, man? Where's all...
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where's all the bread, dude? We don't know\Nwhat to do with all this shit.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Where's all the bread and cheese, man?'\NAnd just getting all bunged up down there.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So this is, I don't know if that's good \Nfor my health, but uh, that's where we're
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,at right now. Been farting though!\NDefinitely been farting. And guess if they
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,smell insane? I had a pound of greens the\Npast two days, guess if the farts smell uh
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like they're from another planet. I'll let\Nyou know if anything changes.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But luckily, me talking about not being\Nable to poop must've reminded my
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,intestines to actually do their job\Nbecause like, 30 minutes after I recorded
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,all that, I friggin' crapped.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So it was like 10PM now, and I needed to\Nsign a bunch of these cards that we're
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,gonna be selling on the Goodfellow World \NTour that has just started!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Come to the shows, please! Buy a signed \Ncard, okay? I signed them all, they're
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sick. They look really cool. Especially \Nwhen you aren't looking at them through
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,piss glasses. And I also forgot to do my\Nskincare the night before so I did that.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I ordered this cen...tella shit. I don't\Nknow what it's supposed to do, but it was
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on Brandon's Amazon list so it's gotta be\Ngood.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And after that, I went to sleep. And now \Nit's time for Wednesday!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I made my coffee and my mug was calling me\Nhandsome and I didn't really know how to
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,respond because I'm only ten years old.\NNo one's ever said that to me before.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Morning. Uh, I thought I would give \Neverybody a little, little hump day update
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on how everything's going. It's the third,\Nthird day of this anti-aging lifestyle.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've been trying to just stay out of the \Nsun completely to avoid it, and I'm...
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,going a little stir-crazy. So I... I think\NI'm gonna try to plan some sort of outdoor
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,outing tomorrow. It's just to be outside\Nbecause I've been uh, just a hermit pretty
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,much. But um, I made the smoothie again\Nbut I added some blueberries this time
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it's funny because when I first had it\Nwhen it took me like 45 minutes to drink
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it tasted like cement. But this one kinda \Njust... this one looks like cement, so
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,let's see how it tastes when I add a \Nlittle bit of blueberries.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}slurps{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's like night and day. \NThat's incredible
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}slurps{\i0}\NThis is... this is great. I could have
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that every day. \NThis is the same type of hat The Hat Man
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,wears. I gotta take a picture, tonight.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That also was another tip on TikTok that I\Nsaw, was to sleep on your back. That's
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,supposed to be good for anti-aging.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Back-sleepers do appear to enjoy fewer\Nfine lines and wrinkles on their face
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,compared to other sleep positions."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But again, sleeping on your back is how\Nyou get a visit from The Hat Man, me.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you want...
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I show up and I go, 'stop laying on your\Nback.'
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But yeah, I'm gonna keep up this routine,\NI haven't gotten 20,000 steps yet on any
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of the days, which is frustrating. I got\N8,000 on Monday, 13,000 yesterday.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hopefully I can get 20,000 today. But what\Ndo I know? These numbers are huge.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm just a little baby. I don't know that\Nnum- numbers could even go this big.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,All I know is 1 2 3 and... peekaboo. \NBut I'm gonna drink this smoothie.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'll see you on the other side.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And as I drank my smoothie, I decided to\Nwatch stuff on YouTube that I would watch
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as a kid.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm watching a fight scene from uh, the \Nmovie The One starring Jet Li.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Start speaking and thinking youthful \Nthoughts."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And like I said, this smoothie tasted
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,incredible because of the added \Nblueberries, so it only took me like
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,10 minutes to crush it, compared to \NMonday's 35 minutes, so that was great.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Dude, that took me 10 minutes. Who knew \Nputting something that tastes good
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,makes something taste good. \NLearn new stuff every day. I'm a teenager.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Uhh, I'm so young it's crazy.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I then made my way downstairs to my \Nglorified hamster wheel so I could get
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,some steps in. I was able to walk for a \Nlonger period of time on this day because
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I brought my 3DS down there and I started \Na new save file of Pokemon Silver.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And this seems like a good time to give a \Nfull review on this walking pad.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So obviously this thing is appealing due\Nto its small, compact design, but that's
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,also kind of a detriment to the product\Nbecause like, when you're on it, you gotta
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,be fuckin' locked in on where you're\Nwalking. Because if you're not walking in
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a perfectly straight line at the right\Nspeed consistently, it is so easy to like
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,slip or like your foot to slip off or you\Nlike, you know, step on the side and you
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,get all... you trip for a second. And it's\Njust like, it's really scary. It happened
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to me like, several times. Yeah, walking\Npad? More like walking bad.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So overall, I'm gonna give this walking \Npad like a 6.5 out of 10.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you're good at walking then get it, \NI guess. But if you're just a little baby
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like me who just learned how to walk last\Nweek, I'd probably just skip it.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,After my walk, I did some lifting with
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,some 8-pound weights. Brandon usually uses\N12-pound weights but I didn't have any of
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,those. But halfway through my workout, I \Nrealised something terrible.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was wearing white.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I'm doing it now!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I'm recording after, so it's fine. \NHaha!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I put on a black shirt and went right\Nback to pumping iron.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I didn't really feel like I was burning\Nthat many calories or anything
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the more I thought about it, the more\NI realised like, what I was doing wasn't
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,very youthful at all. The guys who lift a \Nbunch of weights all the time, they always
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,look like, 30 years older than they \Nactually are, right?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You could see a 6'5 bodybuilder who's like\Nbald and shit, he's like super ripped
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he's got like a goatee and you're like,\N'how old are you?'
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And he's like, 'yeah I'm 15!'
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like, if I need to be thinking about\Nyouthful thoughts, I wouldn't think to
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,lift weights. You know what I mean?\NI'd be doing something way different.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}"Smoke weed every day"{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I did some stretches, I planked again\Nand then Kiwi was stoked that someone else
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was finally at his eye level, so he came\Nand hung out with me for a little bit.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And being under 6 feet, I know exactly\Nhow that feels. When I see another 5'9
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,dude at a party or something, I'm like,\N'yo, what's up, man? This is nice.'
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For a snack, I made one of my favourite \Nfoods, a caprese salad.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But Brandon never said anywhere that it's\Nokay to have mozzarella cheese, so I just
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,had tomatoes with basil. It was still \Nreally good because the tomatoes and basil
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,were fresh from my wife's garden. \NBut still, cheese would've been awesome.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And like I said earlier, I don't really\Nhave like a solid routine that I stick to
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,every day, so one of the biggest\Nchallenges of this, like, routine was
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,actually just sticking to an actual \Nroutine. Like, there was just so much to
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,actually do and remember throughout the\Nday. It was like... it was really hard.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because obviously, you want your morning \Nto feel like you're just starting your day
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you're getting into it, you don't wanna be\Nlike, 'okay, I do this, this, I do that-'
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like that's a fucking nightmare, dude. \NI was so worried and stressed and anxious
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that it was like... it probably aged me\Nmore than if I just lived regularly.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I didn't do much for the rest of the day,\Nand I also forgot to film my dinner
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so I filmed a little recap after I uh,\Nafter I ate.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Alright, I forgot to film it, but I just\Nate some salmon and broccoli. I had some
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,broccoli too. But yeah, I uh, I was really\Nfucking hungry.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's like the main thing I'm realising \Nthis challenge. But I guess just the
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,lifestyle is like, I'm just hungry all the\Ntime. So I'm finding myself, like eating
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,small amounts of things all day. \NLike a bird. I just had a handful of seeds
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like a fucking bird, dude.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's alright, having a great time. \NI crapped again too, so...
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We're back, we're so back.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So with Wednesday coming to an end, it was\Ntime for the day that AJR wrote that
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,shitty song about.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}"Thirsty thirsty Thrursday"{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I woke up to one of my moustache hairs \Ntrying to escape, and I immediately went
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,downstairs to make my green smoothie,\Nor purple smoothie, sorry.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is what I have to look forward to now\Nand it's pretty awesome.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I drank my smoothie, and when I went to\Nput my glass in the dishwasher, I realised
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I forgot the banana. I forgor.\NI was devastated. I've never forgotten a
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,banana like this before.\NSo I ate it in the kitchen and threw the
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,banana peel on the floor.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'That was delicious! Woah!'
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I then noticed that my dog was sitting in \Nhis favourite spot enjoying the sunshine
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,without the proper protection. So like a \Ngood dog owner, I took my UPF 50 hat off
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and put it on Kiwi.\NOh my god, he loves it.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I did my daily stretches again, and then\Nfor lunch I had some more steamed broccoli
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,another hard-boiled egg, and some roasted\Nsweet potatoes.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And this meal was pretty good, \NI enjoyed it.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And like I said on Wednesday, I decided to\Nplan a nice outdoor outing on this day.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And some of you may know this already, but\NI am unfortunately an avid golfer.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm sorry. But I love it. I've played\Nsince I was a kid, I love golf, I love
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,getting outside, playing golf with my \Nfriends. You know, trying to improve at
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,something that is challenging and that I\Nenojy. It's really nice. It's like, golf
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is really therapeutic for me.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or at least it was, before I found out the\Nsun is trying to kill me.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I decided to go golfing on Thursday.\NAnd this was the perfect time to debut my
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,complete sun-protection outfit.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, I'd like to see the sun try to start\Na fight with that guy.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I got to the golf course and put a shit\Nton of sunscreen all over my legs because
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,those were gonna be exposed to the big\Nbully in the sky.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then I was finally ready to go golfing
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was a little nervous because I'll be \Nhonest, uh... the undershirt I bought is
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,made out of like a really, like \Nconstricting material.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it was really hard to move and... \Nand breathe.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I went up to hit my first tee shot of\Nthe day.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"It should be just a nice comfortable\N9-iron for him. They're gonna go nuts when
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he hits this thing."\N{\i1}"Yeah!"{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I'm glad my buddy wasn't filming where\Nthe ball went because holy shit, it was
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,really bad. You know, for a sport that\Nkind of requires you to be uh, flexible
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and comfortable while you play, super warm\Nand constricting clothing is a terrible
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,idea.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is really hot.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But nevertheless, I persisted.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I played an entire 18 holes in this\Nfucking outfit.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And although I looked and felt a little\Nsilly, I was just happy to be outside in
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the sun and getting my 20,000 steps.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm getting some dirty looks from the \Nother golfers on the course.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't... I can't see why. It's probab-\Nit's probably jealousy. Probably pure
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,jealously. That's okay. I can't breathe\Nreally, which is fun. And I'm really warm.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I feel like I'm... definitely protecting \Nmyself from the sun, but I... might die
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from a stroke in the process, so I don't\Nknow if this is really... really that
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,smart, but... \NDude, I look so young. Oh nice shot!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, like I said, my drive was terrible,\NI ended up in the trees and I'm absolutely
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,blaming my clothes for that, okay?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When I'm wearing my usual clothes, I hit \Nthe ball in the fairway every single time!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And this next shot actually wasn't that\Nbad, I just rolled off the green to the
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,left and I... I was a little upset. \NBecause I couldn't fucking hit a shot to
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,save my life that day.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This fucking outfit. I usually hit that in\Nevery single time.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I'm gonna be honest, wearing these \Nclothes for four hours on a hot, sunny day
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and walking 20,000 steps was probably the\Nmost uncomfortable I've ever been.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The face mask was like constantly pushing\Non my Adam's apple, it felt like someone
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was trying to choke me, but they just like\Nweren't fully committing, you know?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Picture like a little garden gnome, like,\Ntrying to just choke you all day.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like it's more annoying than anything, \Nyou know what I mean?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So yeah, I played like shit pretty much\Nall day and I am 100% blaming the UPF 50
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,clothing.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And usually after 9 holes I'll stop at the\Nhalfway and I'll get a hotdog, right?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I'll eat it in like three or four \Nbites because I'm so goddamn hungry, but
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,obviously this week, hotdogs are a no-go.\NBut oddly enough, when I was at the
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,halfway grabbing a water, they had the...\Nthe grill going and uh, my friend who
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was golfing with, he ordered a hotdog.\NAnd the girl who was working there was
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,actually like,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I was blown away by that because one,\Nprobably not the best sales tactic to say
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that after someone orders a hotdog.\NAnd two, out of all the times to hear that
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,little titbit of information, I hear it \Nthe one week where I'm trying to extend my
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,life, like, what are the odds?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And this is a thing that people say about\Nhotdogs, I looked it up and obviously that
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,hasn't been proven, because that's like, \Nimpossible to prove. There's so many, like
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,different things you have to take into\Naccount. But it's like when people say
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like having one cigarette takes like, you \Nknow, whatever amount off your life, right
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I actually don't...
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How much do they say for cigarettes?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,11?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I'm 11 so shut the fuck up."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're telling me a hotdog takes more off\Nyour life than a fucking cigarette, dude?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This changes everything. We gotta replace\Ncigarettes with hotdogs.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Imagine you're just engaged with some, you\Nknow, passionate lovemaking with your
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,partner. You know, you go over to your \Nbedside table and you come back, like...
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And if a hotdog shortens your life span,\None can only assume the opposite of a
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,hotdog must lengthen your lifespan.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You ever see a shivering kitten around me?\NDon't ask any questions.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sorry, back to my day on the golf course.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Instead of a hotdog, I got a bag of\Npeanuts!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Uh, so I ate those like a little fucking\Nbaby bird, it sucked, I... I was starving.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was fucking really hungry.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And on top of my outfit slowly trying to\Nkill me, and the fact that I looked like I
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was in witness protection, a new issue\Narose.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, this thing stinks.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, it turns out walking four miles in\Nreally tight clothing makes you stink like
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,shit, so everybody was keeping their \Ndistance from me, but you know what?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That was okay with me.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,While all the other golfers were\Ncomplaining about their golf game and
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,beating themselves up about how bad they\Nwere at golf, I was able to blame my
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,uncomfortable outfit.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's never my fault.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So when I got home, I made some salmon and\Nsome sweet potatoes, and I also had a
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,salad with some cucumbers from my wife's\Ngarden, and it's probably because I
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,literally had a few handfuls of nuts for\Ndinner, but this meal was the best one
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've had, like all week so far. Like, it\Nwas incredible. I ate it so fast!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And since I went golfing, I finally had a\Nday with 20,000 steps.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I did it all without ever touching my\Nwalking pad, what the fuck?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I should've put the walking pad on two \Nhoverboards so I could still use the
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,walking pad outside and walk around.\NWork harder, not smarter.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Friday started off terribly. I woke up to \None of the worst canker sores I've ever
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,had in my life, which is super frustrating\Nbecause I haven't gotten one of those in a
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,really long time. But when I'm living like\Nreally healthy for a week, now I get one?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}Huh?{\i0}\NCool!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I also noticed this bag of blueberries \NI've been eating all week is like, way too
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,slutty for no reason. But I was low-key\Nfucking with it.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I made a black coffee as well for yet\Nanother breakfast of champions.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have never seen two pretty best friends.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At this point of the week I was feeling \Nreally burnt out and just sick of this
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,anti-aging lifestyle.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm hungry all the time. \NStomach is growling.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know it's impossible to see the impacts\Nof the changes you're making like, in real
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,time,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I was just so annoyed with everything\Nat this point and I also had a case of pop
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the basement that was fucking talking \Nto me like the Green Goblin mask,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I had to just stick to my friggin'\Ndiet.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I made another pretty, colourful and\Nhealthy salad and ate that for lunch
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then for a little snack, I had some\Nblueberries and dark chocolate while I
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,watched some YouTube videos.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the rest of the day was filled with me\Nwalking on my walking pad and eating
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,salmon. And I was watching one of \NBrandon's videos and he said that he
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,actually stopped eating salmon every day\Nbecause he was scared of mercury poisoning
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Personally, I do consume meat and fish in\Nvery moderate quantities with a focus on
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,fish in moderation just because of the, uh\Nmercury content."
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I think that's fucking stupid because\Nmercury's like really far away.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But anyways, Friday was done, and now it\Nwas time for the weekend, baby!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Another day, another fucking smoothie.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you probably notice the pizza boxes in\Nthe background but those are not mine, ok?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Trust me, okay? I'm just holding them for\Na friend. Well, not really a f- for my
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sister, okay? She was visiting and... and\Nshe wanted pizza so, so she got a pizza ok
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but trust me, okay? They weren't mine \Nalright, I didn't touch the stuff.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I already had my quarterly pizza.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Instead of having an awesome cheesy pizza\Nfor lunch, I had a black coffee, some
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,leftover salad and an avocado with kelp\Nseasoning, and it was so... just alright.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And my canker sore was getting worse by\Nthe minute, so that was a lot of fun.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And at this point, I looked up uh, to see\Nwhat actually causes canker sores because
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I actually don't know, and Google said\Nthat canker sores can be triggered by
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,emotional stress, dietary deficiencies, \Nmenstrual periods, hormonal changes, food
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,allergies or trauma in the mouth.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was all that lycopene in my mouth, bro.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Dude, the last time I got a canker sore\Nthis bad was when I was on Accutane in
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,high school. And if you know anything\Nabout Accutane, that drug fucks with your
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,body, dude. So how is me just eating\Ngreens for a week...
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,having the same effect as when I took a\Npill that literally changes how your body
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,operates. Canker? I hardly know her!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm gonna be honest, I didn't really film\Ntoo much on Saturday or Sunday because
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,one, I couldn't really eat anything\Nbecause it fuckin' hurt way too much to
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,put anything in my mouth.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Even one of those slutty blueberries would\Ncause me too much pain.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And two, we were out of town visiting\Nfamily. But as I got closer to midnight on
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sunday, I thought about all the hard work\NI did to maintain a youthful glow.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I thought about all the delicious food I \Nate and the places I went.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I reminisced about all the loving and \Nadoring looks of approval I got on the
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,golf course for my Zorro cosplay.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And as I played the Youthful Affirmations\Nvideo for the last time through my
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,piss-coloured glasses, 11:59PM on Sunday\Nquickly turned into 12AM on Monday.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And my anti-aging journey was finally\Ncomplete.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Alright, it's time to talk about the\Nfindings of my little anti-aging
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,experiment. First off, the most obvious\Nquestion: do I look any different?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes. But that's only because I got a \Nhaircut. If I had the same hair length as
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the beginning of the week, I would \Nprobably look the exact same if not older.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't see any difference between these\Ntwo pictures because obviously it's
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,impossible to see the effects of lifestyle\Nchanges in just seven days, right?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It takes, it takes months, years even.\NBut I just wanted to do this video to show
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you guys what, you know, what a week in\Nthis lifestyle would entail.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And in terms of how I felt throughout the\Nweek, I felt pretty similar... I was
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,definitely more hungry, but the one main \Ndifference I did notice is I did feel more
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,energised than I usually do, like right\Nafter breakfast.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that's gotta be the smoothie because\Nit's just really full of like, really
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,good, healthy ingredients. I also really \Nenjoyed the daily, like, stretches for my
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,back because I've been dealing with back\Npain for like, the last few years.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And just getting more movement really \Nhelped out. So I'm gonna... I'm gonna keep
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,doing that. But speaking of back movements\NI had to bend over backwards to get 2,000
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,steps, dude. That was an impossible feat.\NIt was impossible for my feet. That is an
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,insane amount of steps in a day, dude.\N10,000 steps? That is perfect.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That is actually just as good as 20,000\Nsteps and it's a lot easier to get.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't have any proof to back that up, \Nbut I'm standing by it.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So would I recommend this lifestyle?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No! This sucked. This was dumb.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I personally think that uh, basing your \Nentire life around uh, anti-aging is, like
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pretty sad. And it's fucking exhausting \Ntoo, and I'm speaking from experience.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No shade to Brandon, of course, because \Nhe's always in the shade.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I think aging is something we should\Nall embrace instead of fear.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because what's so bad about aging?\N'Oh, your hair turns grey? Oh no!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, your face is starting to wrinkle?\NOh no, you've lived a long, eventful life
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and your body is changing as it goes\Nthrough the natural aging process.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What a nightmare!
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,People used to die at, like, age 28.\NDon't get me wrong, I understand why aging
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,can be scary. I'm not gonna sit here and\Npretend like I don't worry about my
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,hairline or my skin or like my overall\Nphysical health as I get older
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but changing your entire lifestyle just to\Nslow the aging process just isn't worth it
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like especially now in the year 2024. \NLike, we've maybe got like a good 50 years
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,left on this planet. It's like sick, you\Nlived to 150 only to die in the water war
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of 2125? Congrats, dude.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's nothing wrong with looking older,\Nthere's nothing wrong with aging,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and there's nothing bad about going\Noutside in the sun.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't want to live a life where I'm \Nfucking petrified of the sun, okay?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That is... that is a nightmare.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You want me to move into a fucking cave\Nsystem so I look like one of those goblins
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from The Descent? Oh my god, drop the \Nskincare routine guide, wow.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Also so funny to me is seeing these people\Nlike Bryan Johnson and Brandon Miles May
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,go through all this effort to live as long\Nas I can and look as young as possible
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when you, like, constantly hear these\Nanecdotes from people who are actually
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,living past 100. And every time they ask\Nthese people how they live that long is
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,always like, 'yeah, I just celebrated my \N105th birthday and my secret?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Four Dr. Peppers a day.'
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sometimes you can't control the aging \Nprocess, dude. And that's fine.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You watching this right now, you are older\Nthan you were when you started watching
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this video. I'm older than I was when I \Nstarted making this video. Even with all
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the anti-aging shit I did. And even if you\Nextend your life with anti-aging
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,life is fucking way too short to spend all\Nof it trying to extend it a little bit.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like when you think this Bryan Johnson guy\Nis on his deathbed, he's gonna be like,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'ugh, if I only ate more green poop I \Ncould've made it to tomorrow.'
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like, to me, I just think it's a little \Nsilly to prevent aging, you know?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The thing that is happening all the\Nfucking time?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's like trying to stop Pitbull from\Ndevilishly smirking.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not gonna happen.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In conclusion, I guess, a lot of my \Nviewers are, you know, younger.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Teenagers, in your 20s, right?\NAnd I just wanna let all of you guys know
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,aging is a privilege. And I kinda feel bad\Nthat a lot of you are never gonna get this
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,hour of your life back that you spent\Nwatching this video, or half hour if you
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,watched it in 2x speed, so I'm gonna take\None for the team and also lose an hour of
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,my life, uh, while I eat these two hotdogs
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thanks for watching!