WEBVTT

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Folks

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You guys ever think about how every
passing second brings us just a little bit

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closer to death?
Yeah, me neither.

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I feel like I say this all the time, but I
just turned 30 and I'll be honest,

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I'm feeling it. I remember being a kid and
hearing my dad complain about his

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back pain, and then in my head I was like,
'damn, that must suck. Good thing it's

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never gonna happen to me though!'
But alas! Here I am!

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If I sleep incorrectly, I have to take an 
Advil. Last summer I rode a roller coaster

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and I had a headache for a week.
I'm being slowly dragged to hell and I can

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feel it. But aging is a part of life, ok?
It's inevitable. We're all aging all the

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time, that's quite literally how the human
body works. But for as long as us humans

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have been around, we have been trying to
fight this natural decay that we all

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experience. And anti-aging content has
been around for a while, but lately I've

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seen an increase in popularity of anti-
aging products and techniques on TikTok

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specifically and I thought it'd be fun if
we took a look at them today.

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I should say I haven't seen a lot
personally because my For You page is

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all the way cooked. It's fuckin' burnt to
a crisp.

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But my wife has seen a lot of these videos
she's actually the one who gave me this

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video idea. So everybody say thank you 
Jenna on three. One two three

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So first off, I think it's important
that we talk about the history of

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anti-aging products and techniques because
the concept of anti-aging in itself is

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very old and wrinkly, gross, yuck.

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Even dating all the way back to 69 BCE,
hilarious year by the way.

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In the year 69 BCE, Cleopatra apparently
took daily baths in donkey milk in order

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to maintain a youthful look.
Now I know why the dragon from Shrek looks

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so young. It's all that donkey milk.

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And in the year 1513, Juan Ponce de Léon
risked his life and set off on a journey

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to find the fabled fountain of youth. 
A spring that was said to provide eternal

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life. He never actually found the fountain
of youth, but what he found was even

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better.

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Florida.

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And that is real. He went to find the
fountain of youth and found the fucking

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opposite. Florida. That is the opposite of
the fountain of youth. Because most people

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down there look like an old leather couch.
People from Florida, their skin looks like

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a black metal band's logo. And there's
tons of stories like this throughout

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history. Apparently Elizabethan women
placed thin slices of raw meat directly on

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their face. I'm sure their husbands were 
pretty stoked on that.

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But one of the first anti-aging products
ever was released to the public in 1889

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and they were called Frownies. These were
like little adhesive patches that hold

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your skin tight so you don't develop
wrinkles. And the origin story of this

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product is pretty interesting. So the
inventor of Frownies apparently noticed

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some frown lines on her daughter and she
immediately got to work on a product that

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could fix her daughter's wrinkly fucked up
face. Gosh I wonder why her daughter was

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frowning so much in the first place, you 
know? Guess we'll never know.

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And since the release of Frownies in 1889,
the anti-aging world has grown

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exponentially. There's anti-aging creams,
lotions, pillows, supplements, diets,

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procedures, you can pretty much sell 
anything you want to people if you just

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tell them it will make them look younger.
That being said, buying tickets to my

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shows, and also buying my merch will
actually make you look 10 years younger.

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It's crazy. It's also not lost on me that 
like 99% of anti-aging products and

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procedures are marketed directly towards
women. You know, in this patriarchal

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society we live in, 
cause we do live in a society.

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From an early age the pressure and, like,
proposed importance of maintaining a

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youthful image is absolutely drilled into 
girls' brains through various forms of

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media and marketing.
There's this fucked up idea that, like,

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women's most valuable asset is their youth
which is, number one, incorrect and two,

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weird as fuck. It's like when you hear
people talk about an older celebrity and

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they're like 'wow she looks so nice for
her age!'

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And it's like I don't know if you
needed those last three words.

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You could just say someone looks good.

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It's crazy cause it's kind of the opposite
for dudes. We've kind of tricked

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the world into thinking that men get more
attractive as they age.

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And don't get me wrong, that is true for 
some dudes, but most old guys?

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Uhhh? Woof.

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If you think dudes get hotter with age,
you take a trip down to the fountain of

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death. AKA Florida. And you'll see what 
most old men look like.

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But I've never personally felt the, like,
societal pressure to hold onto my youth as

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a man.

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"I'm a man."

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But it happens all the time with girls
and it's still happening today.

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"Here's some things that I do to slow down
the aging process as a 14 year old.

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I started doing most of these things at
12. 1. I take two apple cider

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vinegar pills, I do this twice a day.
Number two, I use retinol twice a day.

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Next is, I love Korean skincare and I do
two face masks a day."

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Call me crazy but I think a literal child 
having an anti-aging routine

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is a little dystopian. Because it's like
you're already young. Why are you doing an

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anti-aging video? That's like if you saw a
TikTok of Jeff Bezos and he was like,

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'This is how I have fun on a budget.'

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It's like, dude, you don't need to worry
about that, man.

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And look, I'm not gonna sit here and tell
you what procedures not to get or what

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products not to use. It's your body, your 
decision. But I just hope with people who

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are doing these anti-aging procedures, 
I just hope they're doing it for

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the right reason. 
And again, I'm not smart.

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If you want a deep, insightful commentary
on this topic, or fucking any topic,

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you're at the wrong- you're watching the
wrong guy. You got the wrong guy.

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But I guess anti-aging, you know,
it's not inherently bad, but with every

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other fucking thing on this planet, some
people are taking it a little too far.

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And I thought it'd be interesting to 
actually try out some of these anti-aging

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techniques / products and see if they have
any actual effect. But first, we have to

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actually find out how to reverse my age. 
So I think we need to go to the most

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reliable place on the internet to find
well-documented, peer-reviewed information

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on this subject.

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Tiktok!

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"You're not ugly or old, but your inner
dialog might be. If you want the ultimate

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glow-up, you won't find it in a bottle, 
but in the power of positive affirmations"

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Ding ding ding! You said the magic word!

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"Start speaking and thinking youthful
thoughts." Okay...

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"Because your thoughts shape your reality"

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Positive affirmations, manifesting, that's
a classic with this type of shit.

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Manifesting was a huge part of the video 
where I did, where I took a vision healing

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masterclass, so I'm pretty familiar with
the concept, alright? This ain't my first

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rodeo. And hey, if it works for you,
that's wicked.

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But the thing I'm confused about,
she tells people to 'think and speak

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youthful thoughts'.

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"Start speaking and thinking youthful
thoughts."

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What, what is that? What even is a
youthful thought?

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'Woah, he's so deep in thought
I wonder what he's thinking about.'

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'Just a widdle baby. I make boom boom in
my dipey and I miss my mommy. I wuv

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Cocomelon so much.'

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'Oh my god, what's that smell? 
Dude, did you shit yourself?'

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So this creator actually sells the exact
affirmations you need to say on her

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website for $10, but I unfortunately can't
buy those cause I'm just a little baby

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with no money.

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So I found a video on YouTube called 
Age Reversal Affirmations.

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"Rekindle your spirit and ignite the
passion with these reverse aging

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affirmations. Listen or repeat them for at
least 21 days in a row."

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21 days in a row? What the f-
Dude, no sleeping, no eating,

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no exercising, no doing any of the things
that will, like, keep you healthy

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and also maintain a youthful appearance

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Fuck all that.

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You just sit in your fuckin' affirmations
cave for three weeks straight.

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Imagine I walk out of my office 21 days
later fuckin' sunken in eyes and stuff

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you can see my bones

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'I've never felt so young!'

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Okay, so let's see what these affirmations
are.

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"I have the spirit of a young."
I have the spirit of a young.

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"I am glowing."
I am glowing.

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"My bones and veins are in the best shape"
My bones- my bones and veins are in the

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best shape.
Just my bones and veins though,

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everything else sucks.

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I can't tell if these worked or not
because I haven't done them for three

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weeks straight, but I dunno, I
already feel like I have the spirit of a

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young. The comments on this video are 
really interesting too.

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And it's like, cool. Good for these people
right? If that's what they wanna look like

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Like, personally, why would you wanna look
18 forever? That is a nightmare.

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This was me at 18.

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If I still looked like this, I would be a 
Batman villain, dude. I'd be fucking crazy

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I'd be so mad all the time.
Dude I'd be running around Gotham fuckin'

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poppin' zits on people and shit,
and I could fly because I'm, like, my-

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all my backne is popping so much
all the pus coming out, the force of all

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my back zits popping just-

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Sorry, moving on from that horrifying 
picture of 18-year-old me

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We know there's a lot of products and
procedures that exist out there to slow

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the aging process. But
even that's not enough for some people.

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One man in particular is going to extreme
lengths to not just slow the aging process

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but reverse it entirely.
And his name is Bryan Johnson.

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I wish his last name was Griffin.
That'd be so savage.

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So this Bryan Johnson guy is a Mormon 
entrepreneur and venture capitalist from

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Utah.

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I know, pretty crazy, a Mormon from Utah?
Now I have seen everything.

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I'm sure some of you have probably
seen this guy around the internet talking

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about his age reversal endeavours, but the
shit he does is pretty fuckin' insane

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in my personal opinion.

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I watched his full morning routine and it
is wild.

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"I just woke up-"

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I'm not gonna play the whole thing cause
it's pretty lengthy, I'll do a quick

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run through.

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He stars his morning by taking his
temperature. He then stands in front of a

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light that imitates sunlight because he 
wakes up before the sun rises of course.

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He then takes iron and vitamin C, he then
weighs himself every morning by the way

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and not just his body weight.

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"Weight, BMI, fat, muscle, visceral fat,
water, bone, heart rate and EBA.

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It also gives me the air quality in the 
area."

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Dude, I will go to the greatest lengths to
not weigh myself. This guy does it every

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morning. Fuckin respect. Because for me,
that is fucking torture, dude.

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Nah, maybe torture is a strong word. I can
imagine a Saw trap that's like

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"Stand on the scale, or die."

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Bryan then does five minutes of blue light
therapy, he then does a meditation,

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some weird vibrator thing that he never
really explains fully. He puts in eyedrops

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and then he prepares his daily pills.
And this has gotta be the craziest shit I

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have ever seen. Think of how many pills
he's gonna have.

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It's more than that.

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I don't know how many pills are in here,
I think last time we recorded it was

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something like over 50, maybe 60.
That looks like a lot more, I'm not sure

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what's going on here."

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50 to 60 pills every day? Buddy swallows a
fuckin' entire pharmacy every morning dude

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That is wild, he's gotta tone it down. 
I think Bryan's gotta incorporate a couple

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of chill pills in there as well because
Jesus Christ man.

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But Bryan still isn't done. He now puts
red light on his head to prevent hair loss

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and if red light prevents hair loss, looks
like I'm keeping mine forever.

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Sometimes when I'm driving, I hit so many
red lights.

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Then he preps his food for the day.

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"This is what I'm gonna eat after we work
out. Overall it's a lot of

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vegetables every month. It's over
50 pounds, I think."

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I hate to break it to you, but that's
shit from a butt.

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"People look at it and they say it's green
goop and make fun of it."

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Course I'm gonna make fun of it. 
That looks like baby shit, what the fuck?

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I found out this guy has a son too.
Gotta suck to have this guy as a dad.

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'Sorry son, you're grounded.'

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'Eat shit, dad.'

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'I do.'

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He's still not done by the way. He then 
prepares his second meal of the day which

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he calls nutty pudding
"Nutty pudding-"

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which is like a protein powder that he
actually sells on his website.

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Maybe it's called that because you gotta
be a little nutty if you're gonna be

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'pudding' that into your body.

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And would you believe me if I told you
his morning routine still isn't done?

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No it's not!

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We're like fuckin' halfway through it dude
by the time this morning routine is done

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he's gonna have to start his bedtime 
routine. Because Jesus this is taking all

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fuckin' day.

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So after making his poop and sand, he does
a quick workout and then he finally eats

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his breakfast. That honestly seems like so
much work compared to my morning routine.

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My entire morning routine can be summed up
with the first two words of Chop Suey by

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System of a Down.

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"Wake up-"

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That's it man, that's it. I'm awake.
And that's the thing, it's wild seeing

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morning routines like this because, like,
who is this for? I made this point in my

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Living Like a Billionaire for a Week video
but like 99% of people do not have the

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time to do this shit when they wake up.
He says in this video that his morning

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routine can take up to four hours.

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"My morning routine is about three to four
hours, it varies on any given day

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sometimes I go-"
Too long.

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This is just not realistic to normal 
people. But honestly, I don't know why

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I'm getting so hung up on this guy, like
who even cares what this guy has to say

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anyway? He doesn't even have the erection
of an 18-year-old.

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Uh, yeah. I feel like even a manicurist
would say that's the grossest thumbnail

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they've ever seen. What the fuck is that.
I also found this really interesting video

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of Bryan Johnson. He's using yet some
other fuckin' crazy contraption to make

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himself younger.

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"Today I'm going to show you the machine I
use that allows me to do the equivalent of

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20,000 sit-ups in 30 minutes time.
I've set the machine to 100% and 15 so

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it's the max level. This is definitely not
something you wanns start with

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what it feels like is, it's pulling your 
entire stomach out. Like ripping it out.

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Strap it on-"

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Imagine he starts the machine and it's
just like, 'aaaah! It hurts, it hurts!

00:13:09.068 --> 00:13:12.745
Kill me! Just kill me, put me out of my
misery, aaaah!'

00:13:13.105 --> 00:13:14.422
<i>Exercise complete</i>

00:13:15.122 --> 00:13:18.413
Alright, now if you guys want one of these
hit the link in my bio.

00:13:18.413 --> 00:13:22.023
Also, like a part of his face is like
discoloured in this, it's like yellow.

00:13:22.023 --> 00:13:25.703
His face is like yellow in this video. 
I don't know if that's healthy, right?

00:13:25.703 --> 00:13:28.623
Is he going through the new experimental
Simpsons treatment?

00:13:28.623 --> 00:13:32.143
So yeah, this Bryan Johnson guy is like 
the final boss of anti-aging

00:13:32.143 --> 00:13:35.863
but I don't think I'm ready to experience
that just yet, I gotta work my way up

00:13:35.863 --> 00:13:38.073
right? 
And I think I found the perfect person.

00:13:38.073 --> 00:13:42.073
His name is Brandon Miles May, or
@brandonskincare

00:13:42.073 --> 00:13:45.523
and he has been getting pretty popular on
TikTok recently and here's why.

00:13:45.523 --> 00:13:50.318
"I'm 35 and many people ask me if I don't
smile or laugh to prevent fine lines and

00:13:50.318 --> 00:13:54.048
wrinkles. And it's not true, I do laugh
and I do smile. This is how I laugh

00:13:54.048 --> 00:14:00.678
without using Botox and for preventing 
fine lines and wrinkles. Ahaha, ahaha!"

00:14:00.678 --> 00:14:05.722
Yeah, so he's obviously doing a bit in
this video, but this guy is allegedly 35

00:14:05.722 --> 00:14:09.392
years old. For someone who looks that
young, I'd assume he would have like a

00:14:09.392 --> 00:14:12.912
fucking Jimmy Neutron-sized head
because his head's gotta be full of

00:14:12.912 --> 00:14:13.813
youthful thoughts.

00:14:13.813 --> 00:14:17.772
When I first saw this video, I felt like I
was being, like, possessed by a far right

00:14:17.772 --> 00:14:21.082
conservative because all I wanted to
comment was, 'show me your birth

00:14:21.082 --> 00:14:24.112
certificate.' Cause I just couldn't
believe it, honestly still

00:14:24.112 --> 00:14:27.632
don't believe it, but that's the story
he's sticking with so that's great.

00:14:27.632 --> 00:14:30.132
He takes this shit pretty serious so, 
Sure. He's 35.

00:14:30.132 --> 00:14:31.942
This guy is five years older than me.

00:14:31.942 --> 00:14:36.312
And Brandon's entire internet persona is
based around anti-aging.

00:14:36.312 --> 00:14:41.346
He eats food for the sole purpose of
anti-aging. Same as his skincare routine.

00:14:41.346 --> 00:14:43.826
Even his clothing helps him stay young.

00:14:43.826 --> 00:14:46.843
"Anti-aging outfit of the day! 
Are you ready for this?"

00:14:46.843 --> 00:14:52.370
"So today is really warm, so it's pretty
basic. I have a UPF 50 hoodie on

00:14:52.370 --> 00:14:56.964
right here this is- has the thumb holes
for the backs of the hands, but I can also

00:14:56.964 --> 00:15:02.354
use this to protect the sides of my face,
I have my big sunglasses on to protect

00:15:02.354 --> 00:15:08.184
like pretty much half of my face,
I have a UPF 50 cap that has a long bill

00:15:08.184 --> 00:15:13.234
I'm wearing J.Crew shorts and sunscreen on
my legs."

00:15:13.234 --> 00:15:18.894
If you can tell, any clothing that Brandon
wears it, uh, it protects him from the sun

00:15:18.894 --> 00:15:23.444
because according to him the sun is the
main contributor to the aging of the skin.

00:15:23.444 --> 00:15:27.834
"I just practice safe sun protective 
behaviours because the sun contributes

00:15:27.834 --> 00:15:30.316
up to 90% of the skin's visible signs of
aging."

00:15:30.316 --> 00:15:34.086
And he's not wrong. the sun is incredibly
dangerous for your skin if you don't

00:15:34.086 --> 00:15:37.826
protect yourself. So he wears clothing
that is UPF 50, and that stands for

00:15:37.826 --> 00:15:40.176
Ultraviolet Protection Factor.

00:15:40.176 --> 00:15:44.420
And apparently UPF 50 clothing blocks 98%
of the sun's rays.

00:15:44.420 --> 00:15:47.610
This guy would probably still be a fuckin'
baby if it blocked 100%.

00:15:47.610 --> 00:15:50.742
I gotta say though, including the
sunscreen in the fit check-

00:15:50.742 --> 00:15:53.232
"And sunscreen on my legs-"

00:15:53.232 --> 00:15:56.602
That's genuinely one of the funniest
things I've ever seen.

00:15:56.602 --> 00:15:59.752
People gotta start getting like super 
specific like that in those

00:15:59.752 --> 00:16:01.372
'walk me through your fit' videos.

00:16:01.372 --> 00:16:03.132
"Alright, walk me through your fit."

00:16:03.132 --> 00:16:06.440
"Alright well first off I got the toupee
on my head, Gucci t-shirt,

00:16:06.440 --> 00:16:10.229
swollen nipples from when my older brother
purple nurpled me this morning,

00:16:10.229 --> 00:16:15.819
Dolce &amp; Gabbana jeans, preparation H on my
haemorrhoid, herpes medication on my

00:16:15.819 --> 00:16:20.279
wiener and I got the Prada shoes with my
ankle monitor from my house arrest."

00:16:20.279 --> 00:16:21.369
"House arrest?"

00:16:21.369 --> 00:16:23.849
"Police! Get your hands up,
get down on the ground!"

00:16:25.315 --> 00:16:27.233
"Also just copped a taser in the back."

00:16:27.233 --> 00:16:31.233
And this is all well and good, but I feel
like at a certain point it's like kind of

00:16:31.233 --> 00:16:35.233
impossible to avoid the sun. And also like
why would you rob yourself of that joy?

00:16:35.233 --> 00:16:38.513
There's like no better feeling than having
the sun on your face.

00:16:38.513 --> 00:16:41.293
What about when you're driving,
what are you gonna do then?

00:16:41.293 --> 00:16:44.663
Maybe like those sun blockers
that people put on their car windows when

00:16:44.663 --> 00:16:45.653
they park their car?

00:16:45.653 --> 00:16:49.603
I imagine Brandon just has that over his 
windshield at all times, just absolutely

00:16:49.603 --> 00:16:51.473
mowing people down, can't see shit...

00:16:51.473 --> 00:16:55.163
Sorry, let's get back to Brandon,
let's see what kind of food he's eating so

00:16:55.163 --> 00:16:56.763
he can keep that youthful glow.

00:16:56.763 --> 00:17:00.293
"Here's what I'm eating for dinner tonight
for the purposes of anti-aging.

00:17:00.293 --> 00:17:04.313
This is steamed broccoli and steamed bell
peppers, the broccoli is high in vitamin C

00:17:04.313 --> 00:17:08.073
good for collagen synthesis, it also
contains sulforaphane which increases NRF2

00:17:08.073 --> 00:17:16.364
NRF2 pathway-"
<i>overlapping dialog</i>

00:17:16.834 --> 00:17:20.017
This guy's just making up words.
What the fuck was all that shit.

00:17:20.017 --> 00:17:23.677
I'm convinced he's speaking in tongues
dude, he needs to be, he needs to be

00:17:23.677 --> 00:17:26.867
exorcised by a priest. And I can't help
but think about that tweet,

00:17:26.867 --> 00:17:30.847
of a person who's meal prepping broccoli,
chicken and eggs and someone quote tweeted

00:17:30.847 --> 00:17:32.237
it with, 'okay mr fart'.

00:17:32.237 --> 00:17:36.237
That's all I'm thinking of when I look at
that dinner, dude. This dude's farts could

00:17:36.237 --> 00:17:39.805
probably make you hallucinate bro.
Oh, you know what? Maybe that's what UPF

00:17:39.805 --> 00:17:41.981
stands for. Ur Prolly Farting.

00:17:41.981 --> 00:17:46.505
I also just watched a video from Brandon
saying that he eats pizza once a quarter.

00:17:46.505 --> 00:17:51.146
"I would say about 95% of the time I eat
everything that I show here on TikTok

00:17:51.146 --> 00:17:56.635
about 5% of the time, yes I'll go out with
a friend or like my partner or somebody

00:17:56.635 --> 00:18:01.155
and we will maybe get pizza, maybe like
every quarter or so we might have pizza

00:18:01.155 --> 00:18:02.745
it's not like a big deal for me."

00:18:02.745 --> 00:18:06.465
Which sounds like a brutal existence dude,
a pizza every quarter?

00:18:06.465 --> 00:18:07.785
Just one pizza a quarter?

00:18:07.785 --> 00:18:10.615
I'd have a quarter of a pizza every hour
if I could, dude.

00:18:10.615 --> 00:18:14.415
Like I said earlier, I wanna see how
effective this anti-aging lifestyle really

00:18:14.415 --> 00:18:18.495
is. So for the next week, I'm gonna live 
my life the exact same way Brandon does.

00:18:18.495 --> 00:18:22.365
And we'll see if I end up looking any
younger. But first, we need to lock down a

00:18:22.365 --> 00:18:23.175
daily routine.

00:18:25.813 --> 00:18:29.613
Okay so luckily, Brandon has a lot of
videos detailing pretty much everything he

00:18:29.613 --> 00:18:33.193
does in a typical day for anti-aging.
Let's start off with what I'm gonna be

00:18:33.193 --> 00:18:34.213
eating this week.

00:18:34.213 --> 00:18:37.268
He has a video called
'What I eat in a day for anti-aging'.

00:18:37.268 --> 00:18:41.098
To summarise that video, Brandon has a 
dark roast coffee in the morning and then

00:18:41.098 --> 00:18:45.858
an hour or two later, he has breakfast
which sucks for me because the first thing

00:18:45.858 --> 00:18:48.839
on my mind when I wake up is what I'm
gonna eat for breakfast.

00:18:48.839 --> 00:18:52.988
For breakfast he says he makes a green
smoothie on days where he isn't fasting.

00:18:52.988 --> 00:18:56.808
I figured I'd do a smoothie pretty much
every day and then one day I'll try to go

00:18:56.808 --> 00:18:58.258
fasting and see how that goes.

00:18:58.258 --> 00:19:01.088
Then a few hours later he makes a
humongous salad for lunch.

00:19:01.088 --> 00:19:06.832
He then makes a hot chocolate made of 100%
cacao, cocoa powder, almon milk and salt.

00:19:06.832 --> 00:19:10.352
And I don't know about you guys but I like
my hot chocolate sweet as hell.

00:19:10.352 --> 00:19:12.002
So let's see how he sweetens it.

00:19:12.002 --> 00:19:15.291
"No sweetener, I don't add any sweetener 
or sugar, so it is bitter."

00:19:17.371 --> 00:19:18.161
Great.

00:19:18.161 --> 00:19:21.738
And for dinner, Brandon usually does
salmon or some other kind of fish for

00:19:21.738 --> 00:19:25.647
omega-3. I don't know what those are, it
sounds like it could be one of the fuckin'

00:19:25.647 --> 00:19:27.887
Autobots.
'Omega-3, roll out.'

00:19:27.887 --> 00:19:30.727
And then alongside the salmon Brandon also
has broccoli and

00:19:30.727 --> 00:19:33.437
"my favourite fall vegetable, a sweet
potato."

00:19:33.437 --> 00:19:37.822
And then for dessert he does frozen
blueberries and dark chocolate.

00:19:37.822 --> 00:19:41.052
So that's gonna be pretty much my diet
every single day this week.

00:19:41.052 --> 00:19:44.332
And there were some other foods in his 
TikTok, like hard boiled eggs

00:19:44.332 --> 00:19:47.172
and avocado and stuff that I'll sprinkle
in here and there.

00:19:47.172 --> 00:19:51.352
And also, god, real quick. I gotta say,
love the energy Brandon's YouTube profile

00:19:51.352 --> 00:19:54.882
picture is giving off, I love it dude.
Looks like I'm seeing him through a

00:19:54.882 --> 00:19:56.924
peephole.
And obviously another pinnacle of

00:19:56.924 --> 00:20:00.024
anti-aging is exercise. 
Brandon starts his day with a 10 minute

00:20:00.024 --> 00:20:03.604
stretch, and this next part's gonna be
pretty hard, but Brandon aims to hit

00:20:03.604 --> 00:20:04.883
20,000 steps a day.

00:20:04.883 --> 00:20:07.472
"I've been trying to reach for 20,000
steps-"

00:20:07.472 --> 00:20:12.102
That's a lot of steps, ok? Especially to
a guy who has mastered the art of parking

00:20:12.102 --> 00:20:16.617
it, but Brandon actually uses this little 
treadmill, this like walking pad while he

00:20:16.617 --> 00:20:20.027
works and stuff, so I went ahead and
ordered that same treadmill because

00:20:20.027 --> 00:20:23.207
I can't possibly think of another way to
get 20,000 steps in a day.

00:20:23.207 --> 00:20:24.797
Especially during the summertime.

00:20:24.797 --> 00:20:27.807
Brandon then does some weightlifting with
some 12-pound weights

00:20:27.807 --> 00:20:29.254
and that'll be no problem.

00:20:29.914 --> 00:20:33.534
And that's his daily workout routine.
Seems pretty low impact, which is nice.

00:20:33.534 --> 00:20:37.984
But compared to my usual workout routine
that consists of 20 reps of hanging out

00:20:37.984 --> 00:20:41.424
followed by three sets of chilling,
this is gonna be a big change for me.

00:20:41.424 --> 00:20:46.364
Uh, yeah. The only push up I do is push up
on the D-pad, cause I'm a freaking gamer.

00:20:46.364 --> 00:20:47.861
I paused my game to be here.

00:20:47.861 --> 00:20:51.481
You know I can eat and exercise all I want
but if I don't look the part then

00:20:51.481 --> 00:20:54.571
what am I doing? So I'm gonna order 
some UPF 50 clothing as well.

00:20:54.571 --> 00:20:59.007
And wow, look at these.
Holy crap, these are ugly.

00:20:59.687 --> 00:21:02.617
They're not ugly, sorry. 
They're just not what I would wear.

00:21:02.617 --> 00:21:05.927
It's like, there's not even one ironic
vintage graphic t-shirt on here

00:21:05.927 --> 00:21:06.772
what the fuck?

00:21:06.772 --> 00:21:10.582
And I guess it's nice that these clothes
protect you from the sun, but it doesn't

00:21:10.582 --> 00:21:14.592
say anything about protecting you from 
insults. So I'm pretty nervous about that.

00:21:14.592 --> 00:21:18.202
But I'm gonna give these a genuine try.
So I'm gonna order some of these.

00:21:18.202 --> 00:21:22.022
And last but not least, Brandon made a 
video going through some tips and tricks

00:21:22.022 --> 00:21:24.312
about anti-aging that nobody really talks
about.

00:21:24.312 --> 00:21:27.412
"So whenever I'm cooking a meal
and I'm baking and using the oven,

00:21:27.412 --> 00:21:31.412
I will be very very hesitant to just reach
my hand in there with just a mitten."

00:21:31.412 --> 00:21:34.652
Damn, your skin can't even get warm?
What the fuck? That's not real.

00:21:34.652 --> 00:21:40.411
"People who bake things for a living have
more aged skin on their dominant hand

00:21:40.411 --> 00:21:44.091
the hand that they use for putting things
in the oven and pulling things out."

00:21:44.091 --> 00:21:45.391
Also the example he uses...

00:21:45.391 --> 00:21:48.253
He says people who work in kitchens
age poorly?

00:21:48.253 --> 00:21:51.873
That might be true, but I can guarantee
you that's not because of the heat.

00:21:51.873 --> 00:21:55.873
I've worked in restaurants before, ok?
If it's not the cigarettes, booze and

00:21:55.873 --> 00:21:56.583
<i>sniff</i>

00:21:56.583 --> 00:22:00.243
that ages them poorly, it's the
unnecessary amount of stress they put

00:22:00.243 --> 00:22:01.199
themselves through.

00:22:01.199 --> 00:22:06.371
'Ugh I'm so mad, the restaurant I work at
that sells food is selling too much food.

00:22:06.371 --> 00:22:09.757
I gotta yell at Curtis and get more hand 
tattoos about this.'

00:22:09.757 --> 00:22:13.607
Sorry to all the line cooks and stuff
out there but I think that's just personal

00:22:13.607 --> 00:22:16.327
work trauma I'm working through that-
nothing on you guys.

00:22:16.327 --> 00:22:19.947
"Tip number two, flying in airplanes, 
I always choose a window seat so that

00:22:19.947 --> 00:22:23.947
I can control when the window is up and
down because when you're in higher

00:22:23.947 --> 00:22:29.007
altitudes, UV- UVA in particular is
strongest at those highest altitudes-"

00:22:29.007 --> 00:22:32.707
Yeah I guess that makes sense, but like a
couple hours of sunlight isn't gonna

00:22:32.707 --> 00:22:35.857
fucking kill you. Well actually, I don't
know. It might kill him.

00:22:35.857 --> 00:22:36.587
I don't know.

00:22:36.587 --> 00:22:40.047
As you get on a flight, you're in the
window seat, sitting next to you is

00:22:40.047 --> 00:22:43.917
Brandon Skincare, you look over, you open
the window, sun shines through and then

00:22:43.917 --> 00:22:46.947
you look back at Brandon and there's just
a pile of ash there.

00:22:46.947 --> 00:22:50.947
"Tip number three is wearing white
clothing. The sun comes down and reflects

00:22:50.947 --> 00:22:54.706
UV off of that white significantly more so
than any other colour."

00:22:54.706 --> 00:22:59.136
Alright, this is terrible news for me
because I actually really love wearing

00:22:59.136 --> 00:23:02.906
white t-shirts, that's my favourite thing 
to wear because I got this cool thing

00:23:02.906 --> 00:23:06.616
called dandruff. So when I wear black my
shoulders kind of look like a fuckin'

00:23:06.616 --> 00:23:10.346
Charli XCX concert. But who knows? Maybe
all this healthy eating I do this week

00:23:10.346 --> 00:23:12.328
will somehow cure my dandruff.

00:23:12.328 --> 00:23:16.118
"When you have bright lights on at night,
like just everywhere in your house and

00:23:16.118 --> 00:23:19.487
you're watching TV and you're on your
phone and you're on your devices

00:23:19.487 --> 00:23:23.557
this blue light and this visible light is
stimulating your serotonin levels when

00:23:23.557 --> 00:23:27.387
it's not supposed to be stimulated, and 
your circadian rhythm is getting all out

00:23:27.387 --> 00:23:28.217
of whack."

00:23:28.217 --> 00:23:31.947
Got, this is also gonna be a huge change. 
I'm playing video games and working

00:23:31.947 --> 00:23:33.927
until like 1AM fuckin' like every night.

00:23:33.927 --> 00:23:37.777
Literally the lonely stoner seems to free
his mind at night, I don't know if he's

00:23:37.777 --> 00:23:40.807
heard that before. 
But now Brandon's saying no bright lights

00:23:40.807 --> 00:23:42.117
at night? That ain't right!

00:23:42.117 --> 00:23:45.837
"And also socialising and connecting with 
others is really really important."

00:23:45.837 --> 00:23:48.897
Okay, so I gotta hang out with my friends
and my wife this week.

00:23:48.897 --> 00:23:50.437
I think I can make that happen.

00:23:50.437 --> 00:23:54.255
"Maintaining an overall positive attitude
just overall can be connected to these

00:23:54.255 --> 00:23:58.861
things, you know relaxation and reducing
negativity. Negativity is a powerful

00:23:58.861 --> 00:24:03.681
detriment to your anti-aging goals.
A lot of people who are just negative

00:24:03.681 --> 00:24:08.061
overall tend to have a reduced life span 
and just more health issues overall,

00:24:08.061 --> 00:24:11.117
tends to be a correlation there, 
an association."

00:24:14.477 --> 00:24:16.515
That's dumb. That's stupid.

00:24:16.515 --> 00:24:20.515
Fuck dude, being negative shortens your
life? Nice knowing you guys!

00:24:20.515 --> 00:24:21.735
Jesus Christ dude.

00:24:21.735 --> 00:24:25.402
"And number 10 tip is basically not
drinking alcohol-"

00:24:25.402 --> 00:24:27.773
Okay. Come on, man.

00:24:27.773 --> 00:24:30.703
How you gonna tell me to be social but not
have any alcohol?

00:24:30.703 --> 00:24:34.533
Yeah, great thing for anti-aging is to go 
skydiving but don't wear a parachute!

00:24:34.533 --> 00:24:36.843
Maybe he's just talking about hard liquor,
right?

00:24:36.843 --> 00:24:39.703
'I'm sure he's not meaning 100 million
beers, right friend?'

00:24:39.703 --> 00:24:44.093
"I just don't drink personally because I 
know that there's really no benefit to

00:24:44.093 --> 00:24:44.936
alcohol."

00:24:44.936 --> 00:24:48.746
No benefits to alcohol? Okay, you tell
that to my hands that I'm not sure what to

00:24:48.749 --> 00:24:49.809
do with at a concert.

00:24:49.809 --> 00:24:53.349
Alright, I think we've got a firm
understanding of what my anti-aging week

00:24:53.349 --> 00:24:57.059
is gonna look like, but I think before I
dive into the shallow end and break my

00:24:57.059 --> 00:25:01.559
neck, I need one final day of getting all
the fun shit I like doing out of my system

00:25:04.560 --> 00:25:05.390
I got a haircut.

00:25:05.390 --> 00:25:08.655
So I had my quarterly pizza the night
before my week of anti-aging

00:25:08.655 --> 00:25:12.705
and with a chest full of heartburn
I stared at my computer screen for the

00:25:12.705 --> 00:25:16.545
rest of the night. I've been really busy 
getting ready for tour and everything

00:25:16.545 --> 00:25:20.535
and I knew I wasn't gonna have that much
time to do it this week, so I had to get

00:25:20.535 --> 00:25:22.125
as much done as I possibly could.

00:25:22.125 --> 00:25:24.515
That being said, I also played some video
games.

00:25:24.515 --> 00:25:27.985
If you're wondering what video game I was 
playing, then you're in luck.

00:25:27.985 --> 00:25:31.035
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00:25:45.254 --> 00:25:48.344
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00:25:48.344 --> 00:25:52.344
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00:25:52.344 --> 00:25:56.854
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thrilling adventure with a diverse group
of partners to defeat enemies and unravel

00:26:00.854 --> 00:26:05.189
mysteries in the uniquely designed city of
New Eridu. And I'm completely obsessed

00:26:05.189 --> 00:26:08.934
with the art style, music, voice acting
and animations

00:26:08.934 --> 00:26:13.504
but my favourite part of ZZZ is its fluid
combat system that's simple enough for

00:26:13.504 --> 00:26:17.339
newcomers but diverse enough to provide a
challenge for experienced players.

00:26:17.339 --> 00:26:21.339
And with so many playable characters
combat is always fresh and exciting.

00:26:21.339 --> 00:26:25.029
And speaking of playable characters, I 
gotta tell you about the game's newest

00:26:25.029 --> 00:26:27.967
character coming with the 1.1 update:
Jane Doe.

00:26:27.967 --> 00:26:32.477
She's a physical anomaly character who
specialises in rapid attacks to take down

00:26:32.477 --> 00:26:36.394
her enemies and that's pretty much the 
playstyle I use in like every RPG I play

00:26:36.394 --> 00:26:40.394
so I'm super excited to add Jane Doe to my
team in Zenless Zone Zero.

00:26:40.394 --> 00:26:44.044
So if you've been itching to jump into a 
new game with a vibrant art style

00:26:44.044 --> 00:26:48.044
a compelling story, intriguing characters
and rewarding, impactful combat

00:26:48.044 --> 00:26:50.293
then look no further than 
Zenless Zone Zero.

00:26:50.293 --> 00:26:54.729
And like I said earlier it's completely 
free to play and it's available on PC, PS5

00:26:54.729 --> 00:26:58.453
and mobile, so what are you waiting for?
Click my link in the description and

00:26:58.453 --> 00:27:01.528
experience the excitement of Zenless Zone
Zero for yourself.

00:27:01.528 --> 00:27:05.238
Thank you so much to Zenless Zone Zero for
sponsoring this video, back to me.

00:27:05.238 --> 00:27:08.998
And I stared at the screen until my eyes
popped out of my skull, freakin' gamer

00:27:08.998 --> 00:27:12.838
style. And oh yeah, I also had a beer
because I wasn't gonna be able to have any

00:27:12.838 --> 00:27:15.498
this week, so I enjoyed the hell out of
this thing. <i>burp</i>

00:27:15.498 --> 00:27:17.968
That beer was almost as nice as 
Donkey Kong's ass.

00:27:17.968 --> 00:27:19.678
That was epic, now let's get young.

00:27:24.208 --> 00:27:25.458
I bought a bunch of shit.

00:27:25.458 --> 00:27:30.587
Uhh, I forget how much everything was
I think it was like $400 for everything.

00:27:30.587 --> 00:27:36.037
Never mind, I was wrong. It was like $470
so pretty much like 500 bucks. Insane.

00:27:36.037 --> 00:27:39.600
Oh no, sorry, plus the groceries.
We got everything from Whole Foods

00:27:39.600 --> 00:27:43.600
because where Brandon buys everything
and uh, that place is pretty pricey, I'll

00:27:43.600 --> 00:27:47.440
say that. I think they call it Whole Foods
because they put a hole in my wallet.

00:27:47.918 --> 00:27:51.528
Let's go through what I purchased.
First up, this big thing right behind me

00:27:51.528 --> 00:27:53.768
right here
<i>clang</i>

00:27:53.768 --> 00:27:57.768
That's the uh, my walking thing,
my treadmill, my little walking pad.

00:27:57.768 --> 00:28:02.252
I'm gonna set it up down here in my 
recently flooded basement, uh

00:28:02.252 --> 00:28:05.672
it's super empty right now.
This will be my walking zone for the next

00:28:05.672 --> 00:28:08.986
week. Just an empty, white...
'a bitch.'

00:28:08.986 --> 00:28:12.306
Let's go through what I got.
So this is the, oh, this is like a little

00:28:12.306 --> 00:28:16.146
I don't even fuckin' know what I bought.
But this is like a band and you can wear

00:28:16.146 --> 00:28:20.786
it as so many other things.
A wristband, aliceband, blindfuld?

00:28:21.686 --> 00:28:24.176
Yeah, good idea. Just walk around like
that all day?

00:28:24.176 --> 00:28:29.046
Scrunchie, headband, hatliner, cap, durag,
<i>oooooh</i>

00:28:29.976 --> 00:28:31.005
Am I gonna get away?

00:28:31.005 --> 00:28:32.275
Pirate
'arrr!'

00:28:32.275 --> 00:28:37.465
Sunguard, face mask, hood, balaclava. 
So I bought like 16 things in one dude.

00:28:37.465 --> 00:28:43.893
And it's completely U... UFP... UPF 50.
UPF Chang's.

00:28:43.893 --> 00:28:45.523
So I should be good to go there.

00:28:45.523 --> 00:28:49.313
Oh yeah, I forgot to say this when I was
recording, but everything I saw on here

00:28:49.313 --> 00:28:53.083
was on Brandon's like Amazon storefront
a lot of the stuff wasn't available on

00:28:53.083 --> 00:28:56.983
Canadian Amazon so I had to like, find 
some alternatives, but most of it was from

00:28:56.983 --> 00:28:58.087
Brandon's Amazon page.

00:28:58.087 --> 00:28:59.185
'It's a black square!'

00:28:59.185 --> 00:29:04.273
Okay, and then I've got some blue light
blocking glasses, Gy Snail.

00:29:04.993 --> 00:29:08.383
<i>Gy Snail</i>
<i>Ohhhh yeah.</i>

00:29:09.123 --> 00:29:12.617
How do I look? Wow.
Everything looks like it's covered in piss

00:29:12.617 --> 00:29:17.117
that's pretty cool. Alright next up are my
supplements, I got this probiotic, I also

00:29:17.117 --> 00:29:20.469
got this borage oil? Boraj? Borat?

00:29:20.999 --> 00:29:23.149
'I got this Borat oil, my wife.'

00:29:23.149 --> 00:29:25.999
Essential fatty acids, this thing just 
called me a fatty.

00:29:25.999 --> 00:29:30.289
And then I got this uh, Super EFA!
This is something else, this is

00:29:30.289 --> 00:29:35.239
Madagascar Centella Ampoule.
Am... am-pool, am-pool.

00:29:35.239 --> 00:29:39.859
I don't know what it does, but I do like
the movie Madagascar, so if it's anything

00:29:39.859 --> 00:29:44.639
like that I think I'm fucking set.
I also got these Vital Proteins.

00:29:45.204 --> 00:29:48.585
One single ingredient.
<i>All the single ingredients, all the</i>

00:29:48.585 --> 00:29:49.610
<i>single ingredients</i>

00:29:49.610 --> 00:29:54.624
Last but not least, we got some food.
I got sunflower seeds, black sesame seeds

00:29:54.624 --> 00:30:00.021
chia, cacao nibs, cocoa powder, cannellini
beans, some kelp?

00:30:00.021 --> 00:30:01.921
Spongebob Squarepants-ass food.

00:30:01.921 --> 00:30:05.441
And then I got some 100% Hundo.
Dark chocolate.

00:30:05.441 --> 00:30:08.789
Unsweetened almond milk for my smoothies
and my hot chocolate.

00:30:08.789 --> 00:30:15.319
I got these red peppers, I got these red
onions, sweet potatoes, broccoli, spinach

00:30:15.839 --> 00:30:20.769
uh and some salad mix for like, the salad.
And that's pretty much it.

00:30:20.769 --> 00:30:24.359
By the end of this video, I am gonna be
a <i>foetus</i>.

00:30:24.359 --> 00:30:28.146
I got eight hours of sleep my first day
which was really nice but my dog woke me

00:30:28.146 --> 00:30:31.230
up really early because he had to piss and
shit. <i>awww</i>

00:30:31.230 --> 00:30:34.870
So I took him piss and shit and then I 
immediately made myself an anti-aging

00:30:34.870 --> 00:30:38.700
coffee. And yes, that's the same as a 
regular coffee but I was just manifesting

00:30:38.700 --> 00:30:40.340
that it was gonna make me younger.

00:30:40.340 --> 00:30:44.220
Yeah, so I wanted to use a glass mug to 
like, prove to you guys that I actually

00:30:44.220 --> 00:30:48.020
was drinking black coffee, but the only
see-through mug I have is this Instagram

00:30:48.020 --> 00:30:51.860
one that I stole from my old office job.
And it's probably the cheugiest thing I

00:30:51.860 --> 00:30:53.160
own so, apologies for that.

00:30:53.160 --> 00:30:54.704
But first, coffee.

00:30:55.245 --> 00:30:58.995
Like I said earlier in the video, the 
first thing I wanna do when I wake up is

00:30:58.995 --> 00:31:02.705
eat food, and usually I'd make like a
breakfast sandwich or a burrito or toast

00:31:02.705 --> 00:31:06.935
or a bagel you know, something with bread.
But today I had to make a Brandon Miles

00:31:06.935 --> 00:31:10.168
May green smoothie.
And now that I'm thinking about it,

00:31:10.168 --> 00:31:14.638
if Brandon Miles May was really all about
that anti-aging lifestyle, you know if he

00:31:14.638 --> 00:31:18.018
really cared about freakin' rewinding the
clock, his name would be

00:31:18.018 --> 00:31:19.907
Brandon Miles April.

00:31:19.907 --> 00:31:24.405
So I put a bunch of spinach, a carrot,
almond milk, water, an avocado,

00:31:24.405 --> 00:31:26.695
oh that looks like what my dog did this 
morning.

00:31:26.695 --> 00:31:31.075
I put in some chia seeds, this collagen 
peptides powder that I smelled way too

00:31:31.075 --> 00:31:34.395
hard so I got some up my nose,
and then I put in a banana, some black

00:31:34.395 --> 00:31:37.445
sesame seeds and some ice. 
And then I blended it all up.

00:31:37.445 --> 00:31:40.845
Yeah, if you weren't hungry before 
watching this video, sorry.

00:31:40.845 --> 00:31:44.355
You definitely are now.
You're probably drooling like crazy right

00:31:44.355 --> 00:31:46.055
now, it's fucking disgusting.

00:31:46.055 --> 00:31:49.635
But I was so excited to drink this
smoothie guys, it kind of looks like the

00:31:49.635 --> 00:31:54.065
shit that the plant dad tried to feed his 
kids in that one Goosebumps episode

00:31:54.065 --> 00:31:57.165
Stay Out of the Basement.
And I've always wanted to try that, so

00:31:57.165 --> 00:32:00.195
this was pretty cool.
But after all the hard work, breakfast was

00:32:00.195 --> 00:32:02.709
served. I ain't never seen two pretty 
best friends.

00:32:02.709 --> 00:32:06.049
And oh yeah, I also prepped some
containers so I can just add milk and

00:32:06.049 --> 00:32:08.849
water and blend them up to save some time
going forward.

00:32:08.849 --> 00:32:12.179
Alright, good morning on the first day of 
me becoming a little baby.

00:32:12.179 --> 00:32:16.179
I have my smoothie here, I have pretty 
much every single ingredient under the sun

00:32:16.179 --> 00:32:17.209
Down the hatch!

00:32:17.209 --> 00:32:20.418
<i>slurping noises</i>

00:32:31.169 --> 00:32:31.909
It's great.

00:32:32.372 --> 00:32:35.422
It's just spinach I taste because that's
all I put in there but-

00:32:35.422 --> 00:32:36.172
<i>Emememe</i>

00:32:36.172 --> 00:32:38.312
That was me being Popeye. 
I wanna be Popeye.

00:32:38.312 --> 00:32:42.072
But hey, if I don't like the flavour, at
least I have this nice black coffee to

00:32:42.072 --> 00:32:44.812
wash it all down with.
I'm just gonna hang out here and...

00:32:46.542 --> 00:32:49.137
and drink this.
And real quick, I'm making it seem like

00:32:49.137 --> 00:32:53.137
I'm a really picky eater, but I promise 
you I'm not. I eat a lot of food, I love

00:32:53.137 --> 00:32:57.617
all food pretty much, uh, except for 
cilantro. I have the gene that makes it

00:32:57.617 --> 00:33:02.157
taste like soap to me, so anytime I 
accidentally eat cilantro it tastes like

00:33:02.157 --> 00:33:04.514
I'm being punished for like saying a 
swear word.

00:33:04.514 --> 00:33:09.434
But honestly, I think putting a legit bar
of soap into this blunder would've made it

00:33:09.434 --> 00:33:13.614
taste a lot better. Because this fucking
green smoothie, it tasted like cement bro.

00:33:13.614 --> 00:33:15.481
It took me so long to fucking drink it.

00:33:15.481 --> 00:33:17.536
Sorry I'm being negative and that ages you

00:33:17.536 --> 00:33:19.420
'The smoothie was so good!'

00:33:19.420 --> 00:33:23.690
Okay I've been filming this about half-
35 minutes. A half hour.

00:33:23.690 --> 00:33:27.820
So it's taking me a half hour to drink 
all this. I got one final... slurp.

00:33:27.820 --> 00:33:32.117
But after some hard work and determination
I finally finished the smoothie.

00:33:32.117 --> 00:33:33.787
Never felt so young in my life

00:33:33.787 --> 00:33:36.777
Except uh... that's a half hour I'll never
fucking get back.

00:33:36.777 --> 00:33:40.777
Brandon said in his videos that it's
always good to rest after eating your

00:33:40.777 --> 00:33:44.787
breakfast because it helps with digestion.
And I was like 'that's fuckin' stupid, why

00:33:44.787 --> 00:33:47.927
would you need to rest after it?'
But after doing that, I get it.

00:33:47.927 --> 00:33:51.697
That was the most mentally strenuous thing
I've had to do, was get through this

00:33:51.697 --> 00:33:54.368
fucking thing, so good night!
<i>snore</i>

00:33:55.125 --> 00:33:56.245
Instantly fall asleep.

00:33:57.117 --> 00:34:01.734
'I finally rest and watch the sun rise on
a grateful universe.'

00:34:01.734 --> 00:34:05.744
Also woah, I just realised the walls of my
living room are the exact same colour as

00:34:05.744 --> 00:34:08.894
the smoothie I had. Or maybe they aren't,
I'm just hallucinating.

00:34:08.894 --> 00:34:10.934
Now it's time for my stretches!
<i>Oh yeah</i>

00:34:10.934 --> 00:34:14.874
I followed along with Brandon's video and
you know what, I will say these actually

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
felt pretty nice. Whether or not doing
these stretches actually makes me look

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
younger, I do wanna try to incorporate
this into my everyday life going forward

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
because it felt great. You can quote me on
this, there's nothing better than getting

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
stretched out.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I especially loved this stretch. I kinda
look like a cat who's about to puke.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I stretched for about 10 minutes and 
oh yeah, one of the stretches reminded me

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
of my karate lessons I took 20 years ago
so that was also pretty fun.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Okay so, first morning routine is pretty 
much done.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Yeah, I don't know if this is because of
the smoothie or the stretching but

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
you know what? I do feel a bit more 
energised than I usually do.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Then again that could be like a placebo
effect. But no, this guy doesn't really

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
have sugar, so I guess placebo wouldn't 
really exist.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Uh, I do have some work that I gotta get
done and then I guess I'm gonna start

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
getting my steps in. But yeah, so far 
so good, I think.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
How do I look? I feel like I look older
because I haven't shaved yet.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
The more hair you have, the older you look

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And after I finished some work I went down
to the basement because it was treadmill

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
time, brother.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Alright, I'm in the basement again. 
Time to unbox this uh, fucking little

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
walking pad as they call it.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
How many steps am I at right now? 
It is currently 12:27, I'm at 2,000 steps

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
so I need 18,000 more so...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Yeah, it's a lot.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I started unboxing my walking pad and this
thing was

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
'fully loaded with tons of cool stuff!'

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
An L-key, yes!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
It also came with this remote control
and it also came with this.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Okay so it came with lubri- lubricant oil?
Why'd they give me lube?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
How you gonna give me lube, and also put
something that says 'warm tips'?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And I really thought this walking pad was 
gonna be a huge game changer for me

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
because I can get my steps in without the
sun ever touching my skin and just ruining

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
my life. But I forgot that one of the best
parts of walking outside is like, looking

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
around at shit. Seeing a bird crap on the 
ground, seeing a squirrel have sex.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
'Oh, cool shit!'

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So like, after 10 seconds on the walking
pad, I was like immediately bored out of

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
my mind. The future is now. You get all
the joy of walking outside without the

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
nice warmth from the sun. So... I just 
gotta do this for like an hour.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Ok, I can definitely see why people have
these with like a standing desk because

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
this is kind of just like, you're not
really exerting too much energy and you

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
can still sort of like do something.
But I'm really bored right now.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Maybe I'll read, maybe I'll read a book
while I do this or something.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
That'd be pretty cool. Just all the books 
are over there. And I'm here.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
If only there was a way for me to move...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
If there was only some sort of way I could
move my legs that would in turn make my

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
whole body move to where I want it to go.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
One day.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Backward style, ohhh, oh my god!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So this was my view for the next half hour
and let me tell you I have never felt

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
younger in my life. Even though the
youngest people I've ever seen in my life

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
are never walking. They can't. They can't 
walk. So if I really wanna start acting

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
young I should just throw on a diaper and
throw a tantrum on the ground.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And I don't know if it was the leisurely
stroll I took for 30 minutes, or the fact

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that I had blended up spinach for
breakfast, but I was starting to get

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
hungie. So I went upstairs to make my
lunch. Brandon says he usually makes a

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
huge salad for lunch every day so I 
followed his tutorial as close as I could.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I put spring mix, a bell pepper, sunflower
seeds, black sesame seeds, olive oil and

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
balsamic vinegar. I also fried up some
beans and onions, and I also made a

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
hard-boiled egg. Because I was fucking
starving and I knew a salad wasn't gonna

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
fill me up and I've also seen Brandon eat
those things before.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
That yellow stuff on top isn't my fucking
dandruff or anything, it is nutritional

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
yeast. Pretty good yeast.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And this salad actually tasted really
fucking good. I'll admit it.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Brandon Miles May have been cooking with
this recipe, I fear.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Or maybe it was good because I was fucking
starving, but I ate the whole damn thing.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And I'm not afraid to say it.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Now it's time for my supplements!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
That's what I say when I see a bunch of 
Altoids. Sup, little mints?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Why'd they make these so fucking big?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And in Brandon's video where he shows what
he eats in a day, he makes his famous hot

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
chocolate right after lunch, so that's
what I did as well.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I heated up some unsweetened almond milk,
I put in some cocoa powder and then some

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
of these cacao nibs because I couldn't
find the wafers that he uses.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Wafer I barely know her.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I cooked them for a while, but this is 
when I realised um, I don't fucking know

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
what cacao nibs are. What the fuck are
they? Because I was fully under the

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
impression that they were just gonna melt
into the milk, but they did not.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
They just got wet.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
What the fuck are cocoa nibs? Cacao nibs.
Cacao!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So even though I made it incorrectly, I 
still had a delicious hot chocolate ready

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
to be consumed. So let's give it a try.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Yeah, this thing tasted like fucking shit.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I know sugar bad for you but honestly, I
think drinking literal dirt water is worse

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
If I ordered a hot chocolate somewhere and
they gave me that, I'm throwing it in

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
their face and I am gladly going to jail
for it okay? Because that is fucking evil.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"This coffee smells like shit!"

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"It is shit."

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
For the next few hours, I was just working
in my office and then around dinnertime

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I had some salmon with carrots and
potatoes and this is pretty good because

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
it was just ,you know, a pretty normal-ass
meal. But then it was time for dessert!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
This is like if Charlie and the Chocolate 
Factory had zero fun.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And Brandon's dessert of choice is frozen
blueberries and dark chocolate.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And I have a feeling it's gonna look the 
exact same coming out.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Compared to the hot chocolate this 
actually wasn't too bad, but you know,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
obviously still not an ideal dessert.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So if you could eat like a rock.
Picture just eating a rock.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I unfortunately did not get 20,000 steps
on my first day because I fuckin', I spent

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
the whole day cooking. I feel like I had
no fuckin' time to take that many steps.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Unless you count all the steps that it 
took to make that fuckin' smoothie.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Because there's like 20,000 ingredients
in it. So you know what? Sure, how 'bout

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that. Yes I did, I got 20,000 steps, okay?
So it was like 9PM at this point and I

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
needed to go through the final edit of my
comedy special Python that you can watch

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
right now for free on my YouTube channel
if you want.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But using these glasses was a little weird
especially when you're like, reviewing

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
footage because it made everything look
like it was at the bottom of a pool that

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
is uh, filled with piss. So I just looked 
like an idiot when the only feedback I had

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
was "This too yellow, fix it. Change it."

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Thanks a lot, glasses.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But with that my first day of anti-aging
was complete. And it was time for me to go

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Tuesday mode.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I woke up and realised my shirt needs to
start having some green smoothis 'cause

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that thing is wrinkly, god damn.
Disgusting.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I needed to walk my dog so I put some 
sunscreen on so I could brave the elements

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and when I got back I started getting 
really hungry, but this was the day that I

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
was gonna start fasting in the morning, so
I was only allowed to have a coffee.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But you know what, if I'm being honest, 
eating nothing is actually better than

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
eating that "smoothie". So I actually 
wasn't too broken up about it.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I did my morning stretches and this time I
incorporated a quick plank 'cause that's

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
hilarious, and by the time I was done all
my stretches and everything it was like

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
11:30. And that's when I used to have a 
little snack when I was a little boy so I

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
figured I was allowed to eat some food
now. And for my snack, I had one

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
hard-boiled egg. And that hard-boiled egg 
got me thinking about my own anti-aging

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
goals.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
A few hours later I went downstairs and 
made the same salad as the day before

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
but for the next few days I unfortunately
had to make and eat everything in my

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
dining room, well I didn't have to eat
everything in the dining room. I didn't

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
have to eat like the chairs and the tables
but I had to eat food-

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I was getting my kitchen redone, I was
getting my kitchen floors redone

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
so I couldn't really use my kitchen, so
yeah really shit timing to film a video

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that requires a really strict diet when 
your kitchen is getting a makeover.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But then again, so was I.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I also saw a TikTok from Brandon saying 
that cherry tomatoes were a really good

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
snack for anti-aging. And one's perfect
because my wife Jenna is growing a bunch

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
of cherry tomatoes right now.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"Cherry tomatoes, organic cherry tomatoes,
you know what these contain? Lycopene."

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Pause, bro. Peen?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"Lycopene."

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Lycopene? I don't like a peen at all! 
I like no peen.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I didn't wanna do it but, you know, for
anti- aging purposes I grinned and beared

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
it, I ate the cherry tomatoes while 
repeating 'no homo' in my head over and

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
over again and thy were awesome. 
Almost as awesome as a guy's penis.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And then I took my supplements as I 
prepared for my first journey outside to

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
face my number one foe, the sun.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And it's interesting because like, all the
other wellness lifestyles I've tried, like

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
the billionaire lifestyle, the vision
healing lifestyle, they all praise the sun

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and its healing properties, but with this
anti-aging lifestyle, the sun is like this

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
evil villain that needs to be avoided at 
all times.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So I reapplied sunscreen and sat outside
with my dog, Kiwi.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Not without my UPF 50 hat that looks
really cool, guys.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And it does look good on me, okay? And if
I see one comment that says otherwise,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
then I implore you to reconsider.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I look like Zorro.
See how the audio weirdly cut out in this

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
clip for some reason? Off- camera, my wife
she immediately agreed with me.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
She actually said I looked cooler than
Zorro. So that was pretty nice.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
We hung out outside for a little longer
and I can't explain how nice it was to be

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
outside in the sun. I know it ages you 
like crazy, but after a day of

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
purposefully staying inside and hiding
from it, I just felt so good.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Yeah, laugh all you want. I'm gonna be
laughing all the way to the bank.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But I won't be able to open a bank account
because I'll be... I'll be too young!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I'm too young, they're gonna say, "you're
too... you must be too young for that,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
for this. You're a little baby boy!"

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
A few hours later we ordered some food for
lunch because we couldn't use our kitchen.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But I just ordered some salad and some 
steamed broccoli, yum!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And you know, you're probably thinking
eating all these healthy foods would make

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
me feel incredible, right? But a pretty
large problem was beginning to become

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
apparent.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Okay, so I've been doing this routine for
like, two days, two full days now.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
This might be TMI but uh, I haven't, 
I haven't g- gone to the bathroom.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I- I've pissed. I've been pissing, uh I 
stay pissing. But I... I haven't gone

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
number two yet. Kinda weird because I'm
usually a pretty regular guy, I don't know

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
what's going on. My body's like, 'where
is all the bread, man? Where's all...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
where's all the bread, dude? We don't know
what to do with all this shit.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Where's all the bread and cheese, man?'
And just getting all bunged up down there.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So this is, I don't know if that's good 
for my health, but uh, that's where we're

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
at right now. Been farting though!
Definitely been farting. And guess if they

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
smell insane? I had a pound of greens the
past two days, guess if the farts smell uh

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
like they're from another planet. I'll let
you know if anything changes.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But luckily, me talking about not being
able to poop must've reminded my

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
intestines to actually do their job
because like, 30 minutes after I recorded

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
all that, I friggin' crapped.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So it was like 10PM now, and I needed to
sign a bunch of these cards that we're

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
gonna be selling on the Goodfellow World 
Tour that has just started!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Come to the shows, please! Buy a signed 
card, okay? I signed them all, they're

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
sick. They look really cool. Especially 
when you aren't looking at them through

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
piss glasses. And I also forgot to do my
skincare the night before so I did that.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I ordered this cen...tella shit. I don't
know what it's supposed to do, but it was

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
on Brandon's Amazon list so it's gotta be
good.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And after that, I went to sleep. And now 
it's time for Wednesday!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I made my coffee and my mug was calling me
handsome and I didn't really know how to

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
respond because I'm only ten years old.
No one's ever said that to me before.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Morning. Uh, I thought I would give 
everybody a little, little hump day update

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
on how everything's going. It's the third,
third day of this anti-aging lifestyle.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I've been trying to just stay out of the 
sun completely to avoid it, and I'm...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
going a little stir-crazy. So I... I think
I'm gonna try to plan some sort of outdoor

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
outing tomorrow. It's just to be outside
because I've been uh, just a hermit pretty

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
much. But um, I made the smoothie again
but I added some blueberries this time

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and it's funny because when I first had it
when it took me like 45 minutes to drink

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
it tasted like cement. But this one kinda 
just... this one looks like cement, so

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
let's see how it tastes when I add a 
little bit of blueberries.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
<i>slurps</i>

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
That's like night and day. 
That's incredible

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
<i>slurps</i>
This is... this is great. I could have

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that every day. 
This is the same type of hat The Hat Man

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
wears. I gotta take a picture, tonight.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
That also was another tip on TikTok that I
saw, was to sleep on your back. That's

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
supposed to be good for anti-aging.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"Back-sleepers do appear to enjoy fewer
fine lines and wrinkles on their face

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
compared to other sleep positions."

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But again, sleeping on your back is how
you get a visit from The Hat Man, me.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Do you want...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I show up and I go, 'stop laying on your
back.'

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But yeah, I'm gonna keep up this routine,
I haven't gotten 20,000 steps yet on any

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
of the days, which is frustrating. I got
8,000 on Monday, 13,000 yesterday.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Hopefully I can get 20,000 today. But what
do I know? These numbers are huge.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I'm just a little baby. I don't know that
num- numbers could even go this big.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
All I know is 1 2 3 and... peekaboo. 
But I'm gonna drink this smoothie.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I'll see you on the other side.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And as I drank my smoothie, I decided to
watch stuff on YouTube that I would watch

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
as a kid.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I'm watching a fight scene from uh, the 
movie The One starring Jet Li.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"Start speaking and thinking youthful 
thoughts."

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And like I said, this smoothie tasted

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
incredible because of the added 
blueberries, so it only took me like

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
10 minutes to crush it, compared to 
Monday's 35 minutes, so that was great.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Dude, that took me 10 minutes. Who knew 
putting something that tastes good

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
makes something taste good. 
Learn new stuff every day. I'm a teenager.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Uhh, I'm so young it's crazy.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I then made my way downstairs to my 
glorified hamster wheel so I could get

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
some steps in. I was able to walk for a 
longer period of time on this day because

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I brought my 3DS down there and I started 
a new save file of Pokemon Silver.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And this seems like a good time to give a 
full review on this walking pad.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So obviously this thing is appealing due
to its small, compact design, but that's

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
also kind of a detriment to the product
because like, when you're on it, you gotta

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
be fuckin' locked in on where you're
walking. Because if you're not walking in

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
a perfectly straight line at the right
speed consistently, it is so easy to like

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
slip or like your foot to slip off or you
like, you know, step on the side and you

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
get all... you trip for a second. And it's
just like, it's really scary. It happened

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
to me like, several times. Yeah, walking
pad? More like walking bad.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So overall, I'm gonna give this walking 
pad like a 6.5 out of 10.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
If you're good at walking then get it, 
I guess. But if you're just a little baby

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
like me who just learned how to walk last
week, I'd probably just skip it.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
After my walk, I did some lifting with

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
some 8-pound weights. Brandon usually uses
12-pound weights but I didn't have any of

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
those. But halfway through my workout, I 
realised something terrible.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I was wearing white.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And I'm doing it now!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But I'm recording after, so it's fine. 
Haha!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So I put on a black shirt and went right
back to pumping iron.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I didn't really feel like I was burning
that many calories or anything

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and the more I thought about it, the more
I realised like, what I was doing wasn't

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
very youthful at all. The guys who lift a 
bunch of weights all the time, they always

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
look like, 30 years older than they 
actually are, right?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You could see a 6'5 bodybuilder who's like
bald and shit, he's like super ripped

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
he's got like a goatee and you're like,
'how old are you?'

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And he's like, 'yeah I'm 15!'

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Like, if I need to be thinking about
youthful thoughts, I wouldn't think to

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
lift weights. You know what I mean?
I'd be doing something way different.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
<i>"Smoke weed every day"</i>

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So I did some stretches, I planked again
and then Kiwi was stoked that someone else

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
was finally at his eye level, so he came
and hung out with me for a little bit.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And being under 6 feet, I know exactly
how that feels. When I see another 5'9

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
dude at a party or something, I'm like,
'yo, what's up, man? This is nice.'

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
For a snack, I made one of my favourite 
foods, a caprese salad.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But Brandon never said anywhere that it's
okay to have mozzarella cheese, so I just

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
had tomatoes with basil. It was still 
really good because the tomatoes and basil

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
were fresh from my wife's garden. 
But still, cheese would've been awesome.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And like I said earlier, I don't really
have like a solid routine that I stick to

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
every day, so one of the biggest
challenges of this, like, routine was

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
actually just sticking to an actual 
routine. Like, there was just so much to

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
actually do and remember throughout the
day. It was like... it was really hard.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Because obviously, you want your morning 
to feel like you're just starting your day

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
you're getting into it, you don't wanna be
like, 'okay, I do this, this, I do that-'

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
like that's a fucking nightmare, dude. 
I was so worried and stressed and anxious

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that it was like... it probably aged me
more than if I just lived regularly.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I didn't do much for the rest of the day,
and I also forgot to film my dinner

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
so I filmed a little recap after I uh,
after I ate.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Alright, I forgot to film it, but I just
ate some salmon and broccoli. I had some

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
broccoli too. But yeah, I uh, I was really
fucking hungry.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
That's like the main thing I'm realising 
this challenge. But I guess just the

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
lifestyle is like, I'm just hungry all the
time. So I'm finding myself, like eating

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
small amounts of things all day. 
Like a bird. I just had a handful of seeds

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
like a fucking bird, dude.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
It's alright, having a great time. 
I crapped again too, so...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
We're back, we're so back.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So with Wednesday coming to an end, it was
time for the day that AJR wrote that

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
shitty song about.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
<i>"Thirsty thirsty Thrursday"</i>

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I woke up to one of my moustache hairs 
trying to escape, and I immediately went

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
downstairs to make my green smoothie,
or purple smoothie, sorry.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
This is what I have to look forward to now
and it's pretty awesome.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I drank my smoothie, and when I went to
put my glass in the dishwasher, I realised

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I forgot the banana. I forgor.
I was devastated. I've never forgotten a

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
banana like this before.
So I ate it in the kitchen and threw the

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
banana peel on the floor.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
'That was delicious! Woah!'

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I then noticed that my dog was sitting in 
his favourite spot enjoying the sunshine

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
without the proper protection. So like a 
good dog owner, I took my UPF 50 hat off

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and put it on Kiwi.
Oh my god, he loves it.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I did my daily stretches again, and then
for lunch I had some more steamed broccoli

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
another hard-boiled egg, and some roasted
sweet potatoes.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And this meal was pretty good, 
I enjoyed it.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And like I said on Wednesday, I decided to
plan a nice outdoor outing on this day.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And some of you may know this already, but
I am unfortunately an avid golfer.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I'm sorry. But I love it. I've played
since I was a kid, I love golf, I love

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
getting outside, playing golf with my 
friends. You know, trying to improve at

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
something that is challenging and that I
enojy. It's really nice. It's like, golf

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
is really therapeutic for me.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Or at least it was, before I found out the
sun is trying to kill me.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So I decided to go golfing on Thursday.
And this was the perfect time to debut my

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
complete sun-protection outfit.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Yeah, I'd like to see the sun try to start
a fight with that guy.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I got to the golf course and put a shit
ton of sunscreen all over my legs because

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
those were gonna be exposed to the big
bully in the sky.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And then I was finally ready to go golfing

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I was a little nervous because I'll be 
honest, uh... the undershirt I bought is

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
made out of like a really, like 
constricting material.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And it was really hard to move and... 
and breathe.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But I went up to hit my first tee shot of
the day.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"It should be just a nice comfortable
9-iron for him. They're gonna go nuts when

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
he hits this thing."
<i>"Yeah!"</i>

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And I'm glad my buddy wasn't filming where
the ball went because holy shit, it was

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
really bad. You know, for a sport that
kind of requires you to be uh, flexible

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and comfortable while you play, super warm
and constricting clothing is a terrible

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
idea.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
This is really hot.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But nevertheless, I persisted.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I played an entire 18 holes in this
fucking outfit.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And although I looked and felt a little
silly, I was just happy to be outside in

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
the sun and getting my 20,000 steps.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I'm getting some dirty looks from the 
other golfers on the course.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I don't... I can't see why. It's probab-
it's probably jealousy. Probably pure

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
jealously. That's okay. I can't breathe
really, which is fun. And I'm really warm.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I feel like I'm... definitely protecting 
myself from the sun, but I... might die

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
from a stroke in the process, so I don't
know if this is really... really that

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
smart, but... 
Dude, I look so young. Oh nice shot!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Yeah, like I said, my drive was terrible,
I ended up in the trees and I'm absolutely

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
blaming my clothes for that, okay?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
When I'm wearing my usual clothes, I hit 
the ball in the fairway every single time!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And this next shot actually wasn't that
bad, I just rolled off the green to the

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
left and I... I was a little upset. 
Because I couldn't fucking hit a shot to

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
save my life that day.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
This fucking outfit. I usually hit that in
every single time.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And I'm gonna be honest, wearing these 
clothes for four hours on a hot, sunny day

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and walking 20,000 steps was probably the
most uncomfortable I've ever been.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
The face mask was like constantly pushing
on my Adam's apple, it felt like someone

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
was trying to choke me, but they just like
weren't fully committing, you know?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Picture like a little garden gnome, like,
trying to just choke you all day.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Like it's more annoying than anything, 
you know what I mean?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So yeah, I played like shit pretty much
all day and I am 100% blaming the UPF 50

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
clothing.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And usually after 9 holes I'll stop at the
halfway and I'll get a hotdog, right?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And I'll eat it in like three or four 
bites because I'm so goddamn hungry, but

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
obviously this week, hotdogs are a no-go.
But oddly enough, when I was at the

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
halfway grabbing a water, they had the...
the grill going and uh, my friend who

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I was golfing with, he ordered a hotdog.
And the girl who was working there was

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
actually like,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And I was blown away by that because one,
probably not the best sales tactic to say

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that after someone orders a hotdog.
And two, out of all the times to hear that

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
little titbit of information, I hear it 
the one week where I'm trying to extend my

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
life, like, what are the odds?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And this is a thing that people say about
hotdogs, I looked it up and obviously that

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
hasn't been proven, because that's like, 
impossible to prove. There's so many, like

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
different things you have to take into
account. But it's like when people say

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
like having one cigarette takes like, you 
know, whatever amount off your life, right

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I actually don't...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
How much do they say for cigarettes?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
11?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"I'm 11 so shut the fuck up."

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You're telling me a hotdog takes more off
your life than a fucking cigarette, dude?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
This changes everything. We gotta replace
cigarettes with hotdogs.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Imagine you're just engaged with some, you
know, passionate lovemaking with your

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
partner. You know, you go over to your 
bedside table and you come back, like...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And if a hotdog shortens your life span,
one can only assume the opposite of a

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
hotdog must lengthen your lifespan.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You ever see a shivering kitten around me?
Don't ask any questions.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Sorry, back to my day on the golf course.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Instead of a hotdog, I got a bag of
peanuts!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Uh, so I ate those like a little fucking
baby bird, it sucked, I... I was starving.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I was fucking really hungry.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And on top of my outfit slowly trying to
kill me, and the fact that I looked like I

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
was in witness protection, a new issue
arose.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Oh, this thing stinks.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Yeah, it turns out walking four miles in
really tight clothing makes you stink like

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
shit, so everybody was keeping their 
distance from me, but you know what?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
That was okay with me.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
While all the other golfers were
complaining about their golf game and

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
beating themselves up about how bad they
were at golf, I was able to blame my

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
uncomfortable outfit.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
It's never my fault.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So when I got home, I made some salmon and
some sweet potatoes, and I also had a

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
salad with some cucumbers from my wife's
garden, and it's probably because I

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
literally had a few handfuls of nuts for
dinner, but this meal was the best one

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I've had, like all week so far. Like, it
was incredible. I ate it so fast!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And since I went golfing, I finally had a
day with 20,000 steps.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And I did it all without ever touching my
walking pad, what the fuck?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I should've put the walking pad on two 
hoverboards so I could still use the

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
walking pad outside and walk around.
Work harder, not smarter.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Friday started off terribly. I woke up to 
one of the worst canker sores I've ever

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
had in my life, which is super frustrating
because I haven't gotten one of those in a

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
really long time. But when I'm living like
really healthy for a week, now I get one?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
<i>Huh?</i>
Cool!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I also noticed this bag of blueberries 
I've been eating all week is like, way too

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
slutty for no reason. But I was low-key
fucking with it.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I made a black coffee as well for yet
another breakfast of champions.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I have never seen two pretty best friends.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
At this point of the week I was feeling 
really burnt out and just sick of this

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
anti-aging lifestyle.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I'm hungry all the time. 
Stomach is growling.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I know it's impossible to see the impacts
of the changes you're making like, in real

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
time,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
but I was just so annoyed with everything
at this point and I also had a case of pop

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
in the basement that was fucking talking 
to me like the Green Goblin mask,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
but I had to just stick to my friggin'
diet.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So I made another pretty, colourful and
healthy salad and ate that for lunch

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and then for a little snack, I had some
blueberries and dark chocolate while I

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
watched some YouTube videos.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And the rest of the day was filled with me
walking on my walking pad and eating

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
salmon. And I was watching one of 
Brandon's videos and he said that he

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
actually stopped eating salmon every day
because he was scared of mercury poisoning

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"Personally, I do consume meat and fish in
very moderate quantities with a focus on

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
fish in moderation just because of the, uh
mercury content."

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But I think that's fucking stupid because
mercury's like really far away.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But anyways, Friday was done, and now it
was time for the weekend, baby!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Another day, another fucking smoothie.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And you probably notice the pizza boxes in
the background but those are not mine, ok?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Trust me, okay? I'm just holding them for
a friend. Well, not really a f- for my

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
sister, okay? She was visiting and... and
she wanted pizza so, so she got a pizza ok

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
but trust me, okay? They weren't mine 
alright, I didn't touch the stuff.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I already had my quarterly pizza.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Instead of having an awesome cheesy pizza
for lunch, I had a black coffee, some

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
leftover salad and an avocado with kelp
seasoning, and it was so... just alright.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And my canker sore was getting worse by
the minute, so that was a lot of fun.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And at this point, I looked up uh, to see
what actually causes canker sores because

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I actually don't know, and Google said
that canker sores can be triggered by

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
emotional stress, dietary deficiencies, 
menstrual periods, hormonal changes, food

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
allergies or trauma in the mouth.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
It was all that lycopene in my mouth, bro.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Dude, the last time I got a canker sore
this bad was when I was on Accutane in

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
high school. And if you know anything
about Accutane, that drug fucks with your

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
body, dude. So how is me just eating
greens for a week...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
having the same effect as when I took a
pill that literally changes how your body

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
operates. Canker? I hardly know her!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I'm gonna be honest, I didn't really film
too much on Saturday or Sunday because

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
one, I couldn't really eat anything
because it fuckin' hurt way too much to

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
put anything in my mouth.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Even one of those slutty blueberries would
cause me too much pain.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And two, we were out of town visiting
family. But as I got closer to midnight on

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Sunday, I thought about all the hard work
I did to maintain a youthful glow.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I thought about all the delicious food I 
ate and the places I went.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I reminisced about all the loving and 
adoring looks of approval I got on the

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
golf course for my Zorro cosplay.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And as I played the Youthful Affirmations
video for the last time through my

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
piss-coloured glasses, 11:59PM on Sunday
quickly turned into 12AM on Monday.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And my anti-aging journey was finally
complete.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Alright, it's time to talk about the
findings of my little anti-aging

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
experiment. First off, the most obvious
question: do I look any different?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Yes. But that's only because I got a 
haircut. If I had the same hair length as

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
the beginning of the week, I would 
probably look the exact same if not older.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I don't see any difference between these
two pictures because obviously it's

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
impossible to see the effects of lifestyle
changes in just seven days, right?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
It takes, it takes months, years even.
But I just wanted to do this video to show

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
you guys what, you know, what a week in
this lifestyle would entail.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And in terms of how I felt throughout the
week, I felt pretty similar... I was

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
definitely more hungry, but the one main 
difference I did notice is I did feel more

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
energised than I usually do, like right
after breakfast.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And that's gotta be the smoothie because
it's just really full of like, really

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
good, healthy ingredients. I also really 
enjoyed the daily, like, stretches for my

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
back because I've been dealing with back
pain for like, the last few years.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And just getting more movement really 
helped out. So I'm gonna... I'm gonna keep

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
doing that. But speaking of back movements
I had to bend over backwards to get 2,000

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
steps, dude. That was an impossible feat.
It was impossible for my feet. That is an

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
insane amount of steps in a day, dude.
10,000 steps? That is perfect.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
That is actually just as good as 20,000
steps and it's a lot easier to get.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I don't have any proof to back that up, 
but I'm standing by it.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So would I recommend this lifestyle?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
No! This sucked. This was dumb.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I personally think that uh, basing your 
entire life around uh, anti-aging is, like

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
pretty sad. And it's fucking exhausting 
too, and I'm speaking from experience.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
No shade to Brandon, of course, because 
he's always in the shade.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But I think aging is something we should
all embrace instead of fear.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Because what's so bad about aging?
'Oh, your hair turns grey? Oh no!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Oh, your face is starting to wrinkle?
Oh no, you've lived a long, eventful life

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and your body is changing as it goes
through the natural aging process.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
What a nightmare!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
People used to die at, like, age 28.
Don't get me wrong, I understand why aging

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
can be scary. I'm not gonna sit here and
pretend like I don't worry about my

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
hairline or my skin or like my overall
physical health as I get older

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
but changing your entire lifestyle just to
slow the aging process just isn't worth it

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
like especially now in the year 2024. 
Like, we've maybe got like a good 50 years

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
left on this planet. It's like sick, you
lived to 150 only to die in the water war

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
of 2125? Congrats, dude.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
There's nothing wrong with looking older,
there's nothing wrong with aging,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and there's nothing bad about going
outside in the sun.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I don't want to live a life where I'm 
fucking petrified of the sun, okay?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
That is... that is a nightmare.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You want me to move into a fucking cave
system so I look like one of those goblins

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
from The Descent? Oh my god, drop the 
skincare routine guide, wow.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Also so funny to me is seeing these people
like Bryan Johnson and Brandon Miles May

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
go through all this effort to live as long
as I can and look as young as possible

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
when you, like, constantly hear these
anecdotes from people who are actually

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
living past 100. And every time they ask
these people how they live that long is

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
always like, 'yeah, I just celebrated my 
105th birthday and my secret?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Four Dr. Peppers a day.'

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Sometimes you can't control the aging 
process, dude. And that's fine.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You watching this right now, you are older
than you were when you started watching

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
this video. I'm older than I was when I 
started making this video. Even with all

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
the anti-aging shit I did. And even if you
extend your life with anti-aging

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
life is fucking way too short to spend all
of it trying to extend it a little bit.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Like when you think this Bryan Johnson guy
is on his deathbed, he's gonna be like,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
'ugh, if I only ate more green poop I 
could've made it to tomorrow.'

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Like, to me, I just think it's a little 
silly to prevent aging, you know?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
The thing that is happening all the
fucking time?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
That's like trying to stop Pitbull from
devilishly smirking.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Not gonna happen.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
In conclusion, I guess, a lot of my 
viewers are, you know, younger.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Teenagers, in your 20s, right?
And I just wanna let all of you guys know

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
aging is a privilege. And I kinda feel bad
that a lot of you are never gonna get this

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
hour of your life back that you spent
watching this video, or half hour if you

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
watched it in 2x speed, so I'm gonna take
one for the team and also lose an hour of

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
my life, uh, while I eat these two hotdogs

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Thanks for watching!