WEBVTT
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:00.780
Folks
00:00:01.020 --> 00:00:04.680
You guys ever think about how every
passing second brings us just a little bit
00:00:04.680 --> 00:00:06.500
closer to death?
Yeah, me neither.
00:00:06.500 --> 00:00:10.120
I feel like I say this all the time, but I
just turned 30 and I'll be honest,
00:00:10.120 --> 00:00:13.720
I'm feeling it. I remember being a kid and
hearing my dad complain about his
00:00:13.720 --> 00:00:17.610
back pain, and then in my head I was like,
'damn, that must suck. Good thing it's
00:00:17.610 --> 00:00:20.150
never gonna happen to me though!'
But alas! Here I am!
00:00:20.150 --> 00:00:24.190
If I sleep incorrectly, I have to take an
Advil. Last summer I rode a roller coaster
00:00:24.190 --> 00:00:27.725
and I had a headache for a week.
I'm being slowly dragged to hell and I can
00:00:27.725 --> 00:00:31.615
feel it. But aging is a part of life, ok?
It's inevitable. We're all aging all the
00:00:31.615 --> 00:00:35.771
time, that's quite literally how the human
body works. But for as long as us humans
00:00:35.771 --> 00:00:40.010
have been around, we have been trying to
fight this natural decay that we all
00:00:40.010 --> 00:00:44.680
experience. And anti-aging content has
been around for a while, but lately I've
00:00:44.680 --> 00:00:50.187
seen an increase in popularity of anti-
aging products and techniques on TikTok
00:00:50.187 --> 00:00:53.577
specifically and I thought it'd be fun if
we took a look at them today.
00:00:53.577 --> 00:00:57.008
I should say I haven't seen a lot
personally because my For You page is
00:00:57.008 --> 00:00:59.714
all the way cooked. It's fuckin' burnt to
a crisp. [Music]
00:01:07.312 --> 00:01:11.172
But my wife has seen a lot of these videos
she's actually the one who gave me this
00:01:11.172 --> 00:01:14.773
video idea. So everybody say thank you
Jenna on three. One two three
00:01:15.613 --> 00:01:18.903
So first off, I think it's important
that we talk about the history of
00:01:18.903 --> 00:01:23.353
anti-aging products and techniques because
the concept of anti-aging in itself is
00:01:23.353 --> 00:01:26.329
very old and wrinkly, gross, yuck.
00:01:26.329 --> 00:01:30.647
Even dating all the way back to 69 BCE,
hilarious year by the way.
00:01:30.647 --> 00:01:36.897
In the year 69 BCE, Cleopatra apparently
took daily baths in donkey milk in order
00:01:36.897 --> 00:01:40.448
to maintain a youthful look.
Now I know why the dragon from Shrek looks
00:01:40.448 --> 00:01:43.334
so young. It's all that donkey milk.
00:01:44.775 --> 00:01:50.715
And in the year 1513, Juan Ponce de Léon
risked his life and set off on a journey
00:01:50.715 --> 00:01:55.071
to find the fabled fountain of youth.
A spring that was said to provide eternal
00:01:55.071 --> 00:01:59.143
life. He never actually found the fountain
of youth, but what he found was even
00:01:59.143 --> 00:01:59.933
better.
00:02:01.095 --> 00:02:01.885
Florida.
00:02:02.079 --> 00:02:05.709
And that is real. He went to find the
fountain of youth and found the fucking
00:02:05.709 --> 00:02:09.719
opposite. Florida. That is the opposite of
the fountain of youth. Because most people
00:02:09.719 --> 00:02:13.789
down there look like an old leather couch.
People from Florida, their skin looks like
00:02:13.789 --> 00:02:17.359
a black metal band's logo. And there's
tons of stories like this throughout
00:02:17.359 --> 00:02:21.149
history. Apparently Elizabethan women
placed thin slices of raw meat directly on
00:02:21.149 --> 00:02:24.169
their face. I'm sure their husbands were
pretty stoked on that.
00:02:24.169 --> 00:02:27.989
But one of the first anti-aging products
ever was released to the public in 1889
00:02:27.989 --> 00:02:32.609
and they were called Frownies. These were
like little adhesive patches that hold
00:02:32.609 --> 00:02:36.567
your skin tight so you don't develop
wrinkles. And the origin story of this
00:02:36.567 --> 00:02:41.091
product is pretty interesting. So the
inventor of Frownies apparently noticed
00:02:41.091 --> 00:02:45.251
some frown lines on her daughter and she
immediately got to work on a product that
00:02:45.251 --> 00:02:50.022
could fix her daughter's wrinkly fucked up
face. Gosh I wonder why her daughter was
00:02:50.022 --> 00:02:53.735
frowning so much in the first place, you
know? Guess we'll never know.
00:02:53.735 --> 00:02:57.500
And since the release of Frownies in 1889,
the anti-aging world has grown
00:02:57.500 --> 00:03:03.250
exponentially. There's anti-aging creams,
lotions, pillows, supplements, diets,
00:03:03.250 --> 00:03:07.250
procedures, you can pretty much sell
anything you want to people if you just
00:03:07.250 --> 00:03:11.250
tell them it will make them look younger.
That being said, buying tickets to my
00:03:11.250 --> 00:03:15.120
shows, and also buying my merch will
actually make you look 10 years younger.
00:03:15.120 --> 00:03:20.118
It's crazy. It's also not lost on me that
like 99% of anti-aging products and
00:03:20.118 --> 00:03:24.048
procedures are marketed directly towards
women. You know, in this patriarchal
00:03:24.048 --> 00:03:27.029
society we live in,
cause we do live in a society.
00:03:27.029 --> 00:03:32.851
From an early age the pressure and, like,
proposed importance of maintaining a
00:03:32.851 --> 00:03:37.871
youthful image is absolutely drilled into
girls' brains through various forms of
00:03:37.871 --> 00:03:40.731
media and marketing.
There's this fucked up idea that, like,
00:03:40.731 --> 00:03:45.799
women's most valuable asset is their youth
which is, number one, incorrect and two,
00:03:45.799 --> 00:03:49.559
weird as fuck. It's like when you hear
people talk about an older celebrity and
00:03:49.559 --> 00:03:51.869
they're like 'wow she looks so nice for
her age!'
00:03:51.869 --> 00:03:54.869
And it's like I don't know if you
needed those last three words.
00:03:54.869 --> 00:03:56.719
You could just say someone looks good.
00:03:56.719 --> 00:04:00.269
It's crazy cause it's kind of the opposite
for dudes. We've kind of tricked
00:04:00.269 --> 00:04:03.430
the world into thinking that men get more
attractive as they age.
00:04:03.430 --> 00:04:06.980
And don't get me wrong, that is true for
some dudes, but most old guys?
00:04:06.980 --> 00:04:08.548
Uhhh? Woof.
00:04:08.548 --> 00:04:12.328
If you think dudes get hotter with age,
you take a trip down to the fountain of
00:04:12.328 --> 00:04:15.358
death. AKA Florida. And you'll see what
most old men look like.
00:04:15.781 --> 00:04:20.421
But I've never personally felt the, like,
societal pressure to hold onto my youth as
00:04:20.421 --> 00:04:21.154
a man.
00:04:21.154 --> 00:04:21.892
"I'm a man."
00:04:21.892 --> 00:04:25.272
But it happens all the time with girls
and it's still happening today.
00:04:25.272 --> 00:04:28.932
"Here's some things that I do to slow down
the aging process as a 14 year old.
00:04:28.932 --> 00:04:32.232
I started doing most of these things at
12. 1. I take two apple cider
00:04:32.232 --> 00:04:35.887
vinegar pills, I do this twice a day.
Number two, I use retinol twice a day.
00:04:35.887 --> 00:04:38.883
Next is, I love Korean skincare and I do
two face masks a day."
00:04:38.883 --> 00:04:42.440
Call me crazy but I think a literal child
having an anti-aging routine
00:04:42.440 --> 00:04:46.440
is a little dystopian. Because it's like
you're already young. Why are you doing an
00:04:46.440 --> 00:04:50.440
anti-aging video? That's like if you saw a
TikTok of Jeff Bezos and he was like,
00:04:50.440 --> 00:04:52.311
'This is how I have fun on a budget.'
00:04:52.311 --> 00:04:55.026
It's like, dude, you don't need to worry
about that, man.
00:04:55.026 --> 00:04:59.026
And look, I'm not gonna sit here and tell
you what procedures not to get or what
00:04:59.026 --> 00:05:03.014
products not to use. It's your body, your
decision. But I just hope with people who
00:05:03.014 --> 00:05:06.404
are doing these anti-aging procedures,
I just hope they're doing it for
00:05:06.404 --> 00:05:08.465
the right reason.
And again, I'm not smart.
00:05:08.465 --> 00:05:12.744
If you want a deep, insightful commentary
on this topic, or fucking any topic,
00:05:12.744 --> 00:05:16.254
you're at the wrong- you're watching the
wrong guy. You got the wrong guy.
00:05:16.254 --> 00:05:19.794
But I guess anti-aging, you know,
it's not inherently bad, but with every
00:05:19.794 --> 00:05:23.704
other fucking thing on this planet, some
people are taking it a little too far.
00:05:23.704 --> 00:05:27.514
And I thought it'd be interesting to
actually try out some of these anti-aging
00:05:27.514 --> 00:05:31.514
techniques / products and see if they have
any actual effect. But first, we have to
00:05:31.514 --> 00:05:35.244
actually find out how to reverse my age.
So I think we need to go to the most
00:05:35.244 --> 00:05:40.085
reliable place on the internet to find
well-documented, peer-reviewed information
00:05:40.085 --> 00:05:41.136
on this subject.
00:05:41.916 --> 00:05:42.736
Tiktok!
00:05:42.736 --> 00:05:47.925
"You're not ugly or old, but your inner
dialog might be. If you want the ultimate
00:05:47.925 --> 00:05:53.585
glow-up, you won't find it in a bottle,
but in the power of positive affirmations"
00:05:53.585 --> 00:05:56.290
Ding ding ding! You said the magic word!
00:05:56.290 --> 00:06:00.600
"Start speaking and thinking youthful
thoughts." Okay...
00:06:00.600 --> 00:06:03.193
"Because your thoughts shape your reality"
00:06:03.193 --> 00:06:08.043
Positive affirmations, manifesting, that's
a classic with this type of shit.
00:06:08.043 --> 00:06:12.043
Manifesting was a huge part of the video
where I did, where I took a vision healing
00:06:12.043 --> 00:06:15.913
masterclass, so I'm pretty familiar with
the concept, alright? This ain't my first
00:06:15.913 --> 00:06:18.625
rodeo. And hey, if it works for you,
that's wicked.
00:06:18.625 --> 00:06:21.985
But the thing I'm confused about,
she tells people to 'think and speak
00:06:21.985 --> 00:06:23.179
youthful thoughts'.
00:06:23.179 --> 00:06:26.369
"Start speaking and thinking youthful
thoughts."
00:06:26.369 --> 00:06:28.870
What, what is that? What even is a
youthful thought?
00:06:29.700 --> 00:06:33.093
'Woah, he's so deep in thought
I wonder what he's thinking about.'
00:06:33.093 --> 00:06:37.623
'Just a widdle baby. I make boom boom in
my dipey and I miss my mommy. I wuv
00:06:37.623 --> 00:06:39.783
Cocomelon so much.'
00:06:39.783 --> 00:06:42.642
'Oh my god, what's that smell?
Dude, did you shit yourself?'
00:06:42.818 --> 00:06:47.628
So this creator actually sells the exact
affirmations you need to say on her
00:06:47.628 --> 00:06:52.378
website for $10, but I unfortunately can't
buy those cause I'm just a little baby
00:06:52.378 --> 00:06:53.291
with no money.
00:06:53.291 --> 00:06:56.581
So I found a video on YouTube called
Age Reversal Affirmations.
00:06:56.581 --> 00:07:02.337
"Rekindle your spirit and ignite the
passion with these reverse aging
00:07:02.337 --> 00:07:08.987
affirmations. Listen or repeat them for at
least 21 days in a row."
00:07:08.987 --> 00:07:13.378
21 days in a row? What the f-
Dude, no sleeping, no eating,
00:07:13.378 --> 00:07:17.378
no exercising, no doing any of the things
that will, like, keep you healthy
00:07:17.378 --> 00:07:19.586
and also maintain a youthful appearance
00:07:19.586 --> 00:07:20.328
Fuck all that.
00:07:20.328 --> 00:07:23.758
You just sit in your fuckin' affirmations
cave for three weeks straight.
00:07:23.758 --> 00:07:27.912
Imagine I walk out of my office 21 days
later fuckin' sunken in eyes and stuff
00:07:27.912 --> 00:07:28.929
you can see my bones
00:07:28.929 --> 00:07:30.739
'I've never felt so young!'
00:07:30.739 --> 00:07:32.959
Okay, so let's see what these affirmations
are.
00:07:32.959 --> 00:07:37.624
"I have the spirit of a young."
I have the spirit of a young.
00:07:38.004 --> 00:07:41.013
"I am glowing."
I am glowing.
00:07:41.013 --> 00:07:46.363
"My bones and veins are in the best shape"
My bones- my bones and veins are in the
00:07:46.363 --> 00:07:48.503
best shape.
Just my bones and veins though,
00:07:48.503 --> 00:07:49.850
everything else sucks.
00:07:49.850 --> 00:07:53.380
I can't tell if these worked or not
because I haven't done them for three
00:07:53.380 --> 00:07:56.713
weeks straight, but I dunno, I
already feel like I have the spirit of a
00:07:56.713 --> 00:07:59.693
young. The comments on this video are
really interesting too.
00:08:06.523 --> 00:08:10.573
And it's like, cool. Good for these people
right? If that's what they wanna look like
00:08:10.573 --> 00:08:14.153
Like, personally, why would you wanna look
18 forever? That is a nightmare.
00:08:14.153 --> 00:08:15.677
This was me at 18.
00:08:16.770 --> 00:08:21.300
If I still looked like this, I would be a
Batman villain, dude. I'd be fucking crazy
00:08:21.300 --> 00:08:24.684
I'd be so mad all the time.
Dude I'd be running around Gotham fuckin'
00:08:24.684 --> 00:08:28.024
poppin' zits on people and shit,
and I could fly because I'm, like, my-
00:08:28.024 --> 00:08:32.024
all my backne is popping so much
all the pus coming out, the force of all
00:08:32.024 --> 00:08:33.514
my back zits popping just-
00:08:33.745 --> 00:08:36.765
Sorry, moving on from that horrifying
picture of 18-year-old me
00:08:36.765 --> 00:08:40.405
We know there's a lot of products and
procedures that exist out there to slow
00:08:40.405 --> 00:08:43.315
the aging process. But
even that's not enough for some people.
00:08:43.315 --> 00:08:47.747
One man in particular is going to extreme
lengths to not just slow the aging process
00:08:47.897 --> 00:08:52.027
but reverse it entirely.
And his name is Bryan Johnson.
00:08:52.027 --> 00:08:56.497
I wish his last name was Griffin.
That'd be so savage.
00:08:56.497 --> 00:09:00.987
So this Bryan Johnson guy is a Mormon
entrepreneur and venture capitalist from
00:09:00.987 --> 00:09:01.789
Utah.
00:09:01.789 --> 00:09:05.959
I know, pretty crazy, a Mormon from Utah?
Now I have seen everything.
00:09:05.959 --> 00:09:09.539
I'm sure some of you have probably
seen this guy around the internet talking
00:09:09.539 --> 00:09:13.539
about his age reversal endeavours, but the
shit he does is pretty fuckin' insane
00:09:13.539 --> 00:09:14.949
in my personal opinion.
00:09:14.949 --> 00:09:17.779
I watched his full morning routine and it
is wild.
00:09:17.779 --> 00:09:19.009
"I just woke up-"
00:09:19.009 --> 00:09:22.709
I'm not gonna play the whole thing cause
it's pretty lengthy, I'll do a quick
00:09:22.709 --> 00:09:23.409
run through.
00:09:23.409 --> 00:09:27.039
He stars his morning by taking his
temperature. He then stands in front of a
00:09:27.039 --> 00:09:30.979
light that imitates sunlight because he
wakes up before the sun rises of course.
00:09:30.979 --> 00:09:35.095
He then takes iron and vitamin C, he then
weighs himself every morning by the way
00:09:35.095 --> 00:09:36.533
and not just his body weight.
00:09:36.533 --> 00:09:42.766
"Weight, BMI, fat, muscle, visceral fat,
water, bone, heart rate and EBA.
00:09:42.766 --> 00:09:45.283
It also gives me the air quality in the
area."
00:09:45.283 --> 00:09:50.904
Dude, I will go to the greatest lengths to
not weigh myself. This guy does it every
00:09:50.904 --> 00:09:54.904
morning. Fuckin respect. Because for me,
that is fucking torture, dude.
00:09:54.904 --> 00:09:58.394
Nah, maybe torture is a strong word. I can
imagine a Saw trap that's like
00:09:58.394 --> 00:10:00.004
"Stand on the scale, or die."
00:10:00.004 --> 00:10:04.579
Bryan then does five minutes of blue light
therapy, he then does a meditation,
00:10:04.579 --> 00:10:09.990
some weird vibrator thing that he never
really explains fully. He puts in eyedrops
00:10:09.990 --> 00:10:14.685
and then he prepares his daily pills.
And this has gotta be the craziest shit I
00:10:14.685 --> 00:10:17.450
have ever seen. Think of how many pills
he's gonna have.
00:10:17.450 --> 00:10:18.450
It's more than that.
00:10:18.450 --> 00:10:22.120
I don't know how many pills are in here,
I think last time we recorded it was
00:10:22.120 --> 00:10:25.680
something like over 50, maybe 60.
That looks like a lot more, I'm not sure
00:10:25.680 --> 00:10:26.790
what's going on here."
00:10:26.790 --> 00:10:31.510
50 to 60 pills every day? Buddy swallows a
fuckin' entire pharmacy every morning dude
00:10:31.510 --> 00:10:35.380
That is wild, he's gotta tone it down.
I think Bryan's gotta incorporate a couple
00:10:35.380 --> 00:10:38.120
of chill pills in there as well because
Jesus Christ man.
00:10:38.120 --> 00:10:42.432
But Bryan still isn't done. He now puts
red light on his head to prevent hair loss
00:10:42.432 --> 00:10:45.962
and if red light prevents hair loss, looks
like I'm keeping mine forever.
00:10:45.962 --> 00:10:48.582
Sometimes when I'm driving, I hit so many
red lights.
00:10:48.582 --> 00:10:50.342
Then he preps his food for the day.
00:10:50.342 --> 00:10:53.539
"This is what I'm gonna eat after we work
out. Overall it's a lot of
00:10:53.539 --> 00:10:56.683
vegetables every month. It's over
50 pounds, I think."
00:10:56.683 --> 00:10:59.273
I hate to break it to you, but that's
shit from a butt.
00:10:59.273 --> 00:11:02.513
"People look at it and they say it's green
goop and make fun of it."
00:11:02.513 --> 00:11:06.053
Course I'm gonna make fun of it.
That looks like baby shit, what the fuck?
00:11:06.053 --> 00:11:09.543
I found out this guy has a son too.
Gotta suck to have this guy as a dad.
00:11:09.543 --> 00:11:10.923
'Sorry son, you're grounded.'
00:11:10.923 --> 00:11:11.723
'Eat shit, dad.'
00:11:11.723 --> 00:11:12.423
'I do.'
00:11:12.423 --> 00:11:16.363
He's still not done by the way. He then
prepares his second meal of the day which
00:11:16.363 --> 00:11:18.333
he calls nutty pudding
"Nutty pudding-"
00:11:18.333 --> 00:11:21.753
which is like a protein powder that he
actually sells on his website.
00:11:21.753 --> 00:11:25.503
Maybe it's called that because you gotta
be a little nutty if you're gonna be
00:11:25.503 --> 00:11:26.993
'pudding' that into your body.
00:11:27.565 --> 00:11:31.274
And would you believe me if I told you
his morning routine still isn't done?
00:11:31.274 --> 00:11:32.065
No it's not!
00:11:32.065 --> 00:11:36.035
We're like fuckin' halfway through it dude
by the time this morning routine is done
00:11:36.035 --> 00:11:39.835
he's gonna have to start his bedtime
routine. Because Jesus this is taking all
00:11:39.835 --> 00:11:40.605
fuckin' day.
00:11:40.605 --> 00:11:44.575
So after making his poop and sand, he does
a quick workout and then he finally eats
00:11:44.575 --> 00:11:48.585
his breakfast. That honestly seems like so
much work compared to my morning routine.
00:11:48.585 --> 00:11:52.585
My entire morning routine can be summed up
with the first two words of Chop Suey by
00:11:52.585 --> 00:11:53.475
System of a Down.
00:11:53.475 --> 00:11:54.205
"Wake up-"
00:11:54.205 --> 00:11:57.725
That's it man, that's it. I'm awake.
And that's the thing, it's wild seeing
00:11:57.725 --> 00:12:01.655
morning routines like this because, like,
who is this for? I made this point in my
00:12:01.655 --> 00:12:05.549
Living Like a Billionaire for a Week video
but like 99% of people do not have the
00:12:05.549 --> 00:12:09.249
time to do this shit when they wake up.
He says in this video that his morning
00:12:09.249 --> 00:12:11.191
routine can take up to four hours.
00:12:11.191 --> 00:12:14.781
"My morning routine is about three to four
hours, it varies on any given day
00:12:14.781 --> 00:12:16.160
sometimes I go-"
Too long.
00:12:16.160 --> 00:12:19.820
This is just not realistic to normal
people. But honestly, I don't know why
00:12:19.820 --> 00:12:23.800
I'm getting so hung up on this guy, like
who even cares what this guy has to say
00:12:23.800 --> 00:12:26.690
anyway? He doesn't even have the erection
of an 18-year-old.
00:12:31.668 --> 00:12:35.378
Uh, yeah. I feel like even a manicurist
would say that's the grossest thumbnail
00:12:35.378 --> 00:12:39.378
they've ever seen. What the fuck is that.
I also found this really interesting video
00:12:39.378 --> 00:12:43.538
of Bryan Johnson. He's using yet some
other fuckin' crazy contraption to make
00:12:43.538 --> 00:12:44.408
himself younger.
00:12:44.408 --> 00:12:48.428
"Today I'm going to show you the machine I
use that allows me to do the equivalent of
00:12:48.428 --> 00:12:54.438
20,000 sit-ups in 30 minutes time.
I've set the machine to 100% and 15 so
00:12:54.438 --> 00:12:57.876
it's the max level. This is definitely not
something you wanns start with
00:12:57.876 --> 00:13:03.050
what it feels like is, it's pulling your
entire stomach out. Like ripping it out.
00:13:03.050 --> 00:13:04.076
Strap it on-"
00:13:04.615 --> 00:13:09.068
Imagine he starts the machine and it's
just like, 'aaaah! It hurts, it hurts!
00:13:09.068 --> 00:13:12.745
Kill me! Just kill me, put me out of my
misery, aaaah!'
00:13:13.105 --> 00:13:14.422
Exercise complete
00:13:15.122 --> 00:13:18.413
Alright, now if you guys want one of these
hit the link in my bio.
00:13:18.413 --> 00:13:22.023
Also, like a part of his face is like
discoloured in this, it's like yellow.
00:13:22.023 --> 00:13:25.703
His face is like yellow in this video.
I don't know if that's healthy, right?
00:13:25.703 --> 00:13:28.623
Is he going through the new experimental
Simpsons treatment?
00:13:28.623 --> 00:13:32.143
So yeah, this Bryan Johnson guy is like
the final boss of anti-aging
00:13:32.143 --> 00:13:35.863
but I don't think I'm ready to experience
that just yet, I gotta work my way up
00:13:35.863 --> 00:13:38.073
right?
And I think I found the perfect person.
00:13:38.073 --> 00:13:42.073
His name is Brandon Miles May, or
@brandonskincare
00:13:42.073 --> 00:13:45.523
and he has been getting pretty popular on
TikTok recently and here's why.
00:13:45.523 --> 00:13:50.318
"I'm 35 and many people ask me if I don't
smile or laugh to prevent fine lines and
00:13:50.318 --> 00:13:54.048
wrinkles. And it's not true, I do laugh
and I do smile. This is how I laugh
00:13:54.048 --> 00:14:00.678
without using Botox and for preventing
fine lines and wrinkles. Ahaha, ahaha!"
00:14:00.678 --> 00:14:05.722
Yeah, so he's obviously doing a bit in
this video, but this guy is allegedly 35
00:14:05.722 --> 00:14:09.392
years old. For someone who looks that
young, I'd assume he would have like a
00:14:09.392 --> 00:14:12.912
fucking Jimmy Neutron-sized head
because his head's gotta be full of
00:14:12.912 --> 00:14:13.813
youthful thoughts.
00:14:13.813 --> 00:14:17.772
When I first saw this video, I felt like I
was being, like, possessed by a far right
00:14:17.772 --> 00:14:21.082
conservative because all I wanted to
comment was, 'show me your birth
00:14:21.082 --> 00:14:24.112
certificate.' Cause I just couldn't
believe it, honestly still
00:14:24.112 --> 00:14:27.632
don't believe it, but that's the story
he's sticking with so that's great.
00:14:27.632 --> 00:14:30.132
He takes this shit pretty serious so,
Sure. He's 35.
00:14:30.132 --> 00:14:31.942
This guy is five years older than me.
00:14:31.942 --> 00:14:36.312
And Brandon's entire internet persona is
based around anti-aging.
00:14:36.312 --> 00:14:41.346
He eats food for the sole purpose of
anti-aging. Same as his skincare routine.
00:14:41.346 --> 00:14:43.826
Even his clothing helps him stay young.
00:14:43.826 --> 00:14:46.843
"Anti-aging outfit of the day!
Are you ready for this?"
00:14:46.843 --> 00:14:52.370
"So today is really warm, so it's pretty
basic. I have a UPF 50 hoodie on
00:14:52.370 --> 00:14:56.964
right here this is- has the thumb holes
for the backs of the hands, but I can also
00:14:56.964 --> 00:15:02.354
use this to protect the sides of my face,
I have my big sunglasses on to protect
00:15:02.354 --> 00:15:08.184
like pretty much half of my face,
I have a UPF 50 cap that has a long bill
00:15:08.184 --> 00:15:13.234
I'm wearing J.Crew shorts and sunscreen on
my legs."
00:15:13.234 --> 00:15:18.894
If you can tell, any clothing that Brandon
wears it, uh, it protects him from the sun
00:15:18.894 --> 00:15:23.444
because according to him the sun is the
main contributor to the aging of the skin.
00:15:23.444 --> 00:15:27.834
"I just practice safe sun protective
behaviours because the sun contributes
00:15:27.834 --> 00:15:30.316
up to 90% of the skin's visible signs of
aging."
00:15:30.316 --> 00:15:34.086
And he's not wrong. the sun is incredibly
dangerous for your skin if you don't
00:15:34.086 --> 00:15:37.826
protect yourself. So he wears clothing
that is UPF 50, and that stands for
00:15:37.826 --> 00:15:40.176
Ultraviolet Protection Factor.
00:15:40.176 --> 00:15:44.420
And apparently UPF 50 clothing blocks 98%
of the sun's rays.
00:15:44.420 --> 00:15:47.610
This guy would probably still be a fuckin'
baby if it blocked 100%.
00:15:47.610 --> 00:15:50.742
I gotta say though, including the
sunscreen in the fit check-
00:15:50.742 --> 00:15:53.232
"And sunscreen on my legs-"
00:15:53.232 --> 00:15:56.602
That's genuinely one of the funniest
things I've ever seen.
00:15:56.602 --> 00:15:59.752
People gotta start getting like super
specific like that in those
00:15:59.752 --> 00:16:01.372
'walk me through your fit' videos.
00:16:01.372 --> 00:16:03.132
"Alright, walk me through your fit."
00:16:03.132 --> 00:16:06.440
"Alright well first off I got the toupee
on my head, Gucci t-shirt,
00:16:06.440 --> 00:16:10.229
swollen nipples from when my older brother
purple nurpled me this morning,
00:16:10.229 --> 00:16:15.819
Dolce & Gabbana jeans, preparation H on my
haemorrhoid, herpes medication on my
00:16:15.819 --> 00:16:20.279
wiener and I got the Prada shoes with my
ankle monitor from my house arrest."
00:16:20.279 --> 00:16:21.369
"House arrest?"
00:16:21.369 --> 00:16:23.849
"Police! Get your hands up,
get down on the ground!"
00:16:25.315 --> 00:16:27.233
"Also just copped a taser in the back."
00:16:27.233 --> 00:16:31.233
And this is all well and good, but I feel
like at a certain point it's like kind of
00:16:31.233 --> 00:16:35.233
impossible to avoid the sun. And also like
why would you rob yourself of that joy?
00:16:35.233 --> 00:16:38.513
There's like no better feeling than having
the sun on your face.
00:16:38.513 --> 00:16:41.293
What about when you're driving,
what are you gonna do then?
00:16:41.293 --> 00:16:44.663
Maybe like those sun blockers
that people put on their car windows when
00:16:44.663 --> 00:16:45.653
they park their car?
00:16:45.653 --> 00:16:49.603
I imagine Brandon just has that over his
windshield at all times, just absolutely
00:16:49.603 --> 00:16:51.473
mowing people down, can't see shit...
00:16:51.473 --> 00:16:55.163
Sorry, let's get back to Brandon,
let's see what kind of food he's eating so
00:16:55.163 --> 00:16:56.763
he can keep that youthful glow.
00:16:56.763 --> 00:17:00.293
"Here's what I'm eating for dinner tonight
for the purposes of anti-aging.
00:17:00.293 --> 00:17:04.313
This is steamed broccoli and steamed bell
peppers, the broccoli is high in vitamin C
00:17:04.313 --> 00:17:08.073
good for collagen synthesis, it also
contains sulforaphane which increases NRF2
00:17:08.073 --> 00:17:16.364
NRF2 pathway-"
overlapping dialog
00:17:16.834 --> 00:17:20.017
This guy's just making up words.
What the fuck was all that shit.
00:17:20.017 --> 00:17:23.677
I'm convinced he's speaking in tongues
dude, he needs to be, he needs to be
00:17:23.677 --> 00:17:26.867
exorcised by a priest. And I can't help
but think about that tweet,
00:17:26.867 --> 00:17:30.847
of a person who's meal prepping broccoli,
chicken and eggs and someone quote tweeted
00:17:30.847 --> 00:17:32.237
it with, 'okay mr fart'.
00:17:32.237 --> 00:17:36.237
That's all I'm thinking of when I look at
that dinner, dude. This dude's farts could
00:17:36.237 --> 00:17:39.805
probably make you hallucinate bro.
Oh, you know what? Maybe that's what UPF
00:17:39.805 --> 00:17:41.981
stands for. Ur Prolly Farting.
00:17:41.981 --> 00:17:46.505
I also just watched a video from Brandon
saying that he eats pizza once a quarter.
00:17:46.505 --> 00:17:51.146
"I would say about 95% of the time I eat
everything that I show here on TikTok
00:17:51.146 --> 00:17:56.635
about 5% of the time, yes I'll go out with
a friend or like my partner or somebody
00:17:56.635 --> 00:18:01.155
and we will maybe get pizza, maybe like
every quarter or so we might have pizza
00:18:01.155 --> 00:18:02.745
it's not like a big deal for me."
00:18:02.745 --> 00:18:06.465
Which sounds like a brutal existence dude,
a pizza every quarter?
00:18:06.465 --> 00:18:07.785
Just one pizza a quarter?
00:18:07.785 --> 00:18:10.615
I'd have a quarter of a pizza every hour
if I could, dude.
00:18:10.615 --> 00:18:14.415
Like I said earlier, I wanna see how
effective this anti-aging lifestyle really
00:18:14.415 --> 00:18:18.495
is. So for the next week, I'm gonna live
my life the exact same way Brandon does.
00:18:18.495 --> 00:18:22.365
And we'll see if I end up looking any
younger. But first, we need to lock down a
00:18:22.365 --> 00:18:23.175
daily routine.
00:18:25.813 --> 00:18:29.613
Okay so luckily, Brandon has a lot of
videos detailing pretty much everything he
00:18:29.613 --> 00:18:33.193
does in a typical day for anti-aging.
Let's start off with what I'm gonna be
00:18:33.193 --> 00:18:34.213
eating this week.
00:18:34.213 --> 00:18:37.268
He has a video called
'What I eat in a day for anti-aging'.
00:18:37.268 --> 00:18:41.098
To summarise that video, Brandon has a
dark roast coffee in the morning and then
00:18:41.098 --> 00:18:45.858
an hour or two later, he has breakfast
which sucks for me because the first thing
00:18:45.858 --> 00:18:48.839
on my mind when I wake up is what I'm
gonna eat for breakfast.
00:18:48.839 --> 00:18:52.988
For breakfast he says he makes a green
smoothie on days where he isn't fasting.
00:18:52.988 --> 00:18:56.808
I figured I'd do a smoothie pretty much
every day and then one day I'll try to go
00:18:56.808 --> 00:18:58.258
fasting and see how that goes.
00:18:58.258 --> 00:19:01.088
Then a few hours later he makes a
humongous salad for lunch.
00:19:01.088 --> 00:19:06.832
He then makes a hot chocolate made of 100%
cacao, cocoa powder, almon milk and salt.
00:19:06.832 --> 00:19:10.352
And I don't know about you guys but I like
my hot chocolate sweet as hell.
00:19:10.352 --> 00:19:12.002
So let's see how he sweetens it.
00:19:12.002 --> 00:19:15.291
"No sweetener, I don't add any sweetener
or sugar, so it is bitter."
00:19:17.371 --> 00:19:18.161
Great.
00:19:18.161 --> 00:19:21.738
And for dinner, Brandon usually does
salmon or some other kind of fish for
00:19:21.738 --> 00:19:25.647
omega-3. I don't know what those are, it
sounds like it could be one of the fuckin'
00:19:25.647 --> 00:19:27.887
Autobots.
'Omega-3, roll out.'
00:19:27.887 --> 00:19:30.727
And then alongside the salmon Brandon also
has broccoli and
00:19:30.727 --> 00:19:33.437
"my favourite fall vegetable, a sweet
potato."
00:19:33.437 --> 00:19:37.822
And then for dessert he does frozen
blueberries and dark chocolate.
00:19:37.822 --> 00:19:41.052
So that's gonna be pretty much my diet
every single day this week.
00:19:41.052 --> 00:19:44.332
And there were some other foods in his
TikTok, like hard boiled eggs
00:19:44.332 --> 00:19:47.172
and avocado and stuff that I'll sprinkle
in here and there.
00:19:47.172 --> 00:19:51.352
And also, god, real quick. I gotta say,
love the energy Brandon's YouTube profile
00:19:51.352 --> 00:19:54.882
picture is giving off, I love it dude.
Looks like I'm seeing him through a
00:19:54.882 --> 00:19:56.924
peephole.
And obviously another pinnacle of
00:19:56.924 --> 00:20:00.024
anti-aging is exercise.
Brandon starts his day with a 10 minute
00:20:00.024 --> 00:20:03.604
stretch, and this next part's gonna be
pretty hard, but Brandon aims to hit
00:20:03.604 --> 00:20:04.883
20,000 steps a day.
00:20:04.883 --> 00:20:07.472
"I've been trying to reach for 20,000
steps-"
00:20:07.472 --> 00:20:12.102
That's a lot of steps, ok? Especially to
a guy who has mastered the art of parking
00:20:12.102 --> 00:20:16.617
it, but Brandon actually uses this little
treadmill, this like walking pad while he
00:20:16.617 --> 00:20:20.027
works and stuff, so I went ahead and
ordered that same treadmill because
00:20:20.027 --> 00:20:23.207
I can't possibly think of another way to
get 20,000 steps in a day.
00:20:23.207 --> 00:20:24.797
Especially during the summertime.
00:20:24.797 --> 00:20:27.807
Brandon then does some weightlifting with
some 12-pound weights
00:20:27.807 --> 00:20:29.254
and that'll be no problem.
00:20:29.914 --> 00:20:33.534
And that's his daily workout routine.
Seems pretty low impact, which is nice.
00:20:33.534 --> 00:20:37.984
But compared to my usual workout routine
that consists of 20 reps of hanging out
00:20:37.984 --> 00:20:41.424
followed by three sets of chilling,
this is gonna be a big change for me.
00:20:41.424 --> 00:20:46.364
Uh, yeah. The only push up I do is push up
on the D-pad, cause I'm a freaking gamer.
00:20:46.364 --> 00:20:47.861
I paused my game to be here.
00:20:47.861 --> 00:20:51.481
You know I can eat and exercise all I want
but if I don't look the part then
00:20:51.481 --> 00:20:54.571
what am I doing? So I'm gonna order
some UPF 50 clothing as well.
00:20:54.571 --> 00:20:59.007
And wow, look at these.
Holy crap, these are ugly.
00:20:59.687 --> 00:21:02.617
They're not ugly, sorry.
They're just not what I would wear.
00:21:02.617 --> 00:21:05.927
It's like, there's not even one ironic
vintage graphic t-shirt on here
00:21:05.927 --> 00:21:06.772
what the fuck?
00:21:06.772 --> 00:21:10.582
And I guess it's nice that these clothes
protect you from the sun, but it doesn't
00:21:10.582 --> 00:21:14.592
say anything about protecting you from
insults. So I'm pretty nervous about that.
00:21:14.592 --> 00:21:18.202
But I'm gonna give these a genuine try.
So I'm gonna order some of these.
00:21:18.202 --> 00:21:22.022
And last but not least, Brandon made a
video going through some tips and tricks
00:21:22.022 --> 00:21:24.312
about anti-aging that nobody really talks
about.
00:21:24.312 --> 00:21:27.412
"So whenever I'm cooking a meal
and I'm baking and using the oven,
00:21:27.412 --> 00:21:31.412
I will be very very hesitant to just reach
my hand in there with just a mitten."
00:21:31.412 --> 00:21:34.652
Damn, your skin can't even get warm?
What the fuck? That's not real.
00:21:34.652 --> 00:21:40.411
"People who bake things for a living have
more aged skin on their dominant hand
00:21:40.411 --> 00:21:44.091
the hand that they use for putting things
in the oven and pulling things out."
00:21:44.091 --> 00:21:45.391
Also the example he uses...
00:21:45.391 --> 00:21:48.253
He says people who work in kitchens
age poorly?
00:21:48.253 --> 00:21:51.873
That might be true, but I can guarantee
you that's not because of the heat.
00:21:51.873 --> 00:21:55.873
I've worked in restaurants before, ok?
If it's not the cigarettes, booze and
00:21:55.873 --> 00:21:56.583
sniff
00:21:56.583 --> 00:22:00.243
that ages them poorly, it's the
unnecessary amount of stress they put
00:22:00.243 --> 00:22:01.199
themselves through.
00:22:01.199 --> 00:22:06.371
'Ugh I'm so mad, the restaurant I work at
that sells food is selling too much food.
00:22:06.371 --> 00:22:09.757
I gotta yell at Curtis and get more hand
tattoos about this.'
00:22:09.757 --> 00:22:13.607
Sorry to all the line cooks and stuff
out there but I think that's just personal
00:22:13.607 --> 00:22:16.327
work trauma I'm working through that-
nothing on you guys.
00:22:16.327 --> 00:22:19.947
"Tip number two, flying in airplanes,
I always choose a window seat so that
00:22:19.947 --> 00:22:23.947
I can control when the window is up and
down because when you're in higher
00:22:23.947 --> 00:22:29.007
altitudes, UV- UVA in particular is
strongest at those highest altitudes-"
00:22:29.007 --> 00:22:32.707
Yeah I guess that makes sense, but like a
couple hours of sunlight isn't gonna
00:22:32.707 --> 00:22:35.857
fucking kill you. Well actually, I don't
know. It might kill him.
00:22:35.857 --> 00:22:36.587
I don't know.
00:22:36.587 --> 00:22:40.047
As you get on a flight, you're in the
window seat, sitting next to you is
00:22:40.047 --> 00:22:43.917
Brandon Skincare, you look over, you open
the window, sun shines through and then
00:22:43.917 --> 00:22:46.947
you look back at Brandon and there's just
a pile of ash there.
00:22:46.947 --> 00:22:50.947
"Tip number three is wearing white
clothing. The sun comes down and reflects
00:22:50.947 --> 00:22:54.706
UV off of that white significantly more so
than any other colour."
00:22:54.706 --> 00:22:59.136
Alright, this is terrible news for me
because I actually really love wearing
00:22:59.136 --> 00:23:02.906
white t-shirts, that's my favourite thing
to wear because I got this cool thing
00:23:02.906 --> 00:23:06.616
called dandruff. So when I wear black my
shoulders kind of look like a fuckin'
00:23:06.616 --> 00:23:10.346
Charli XCX concert. But who knows? Maybe
all this healthy eating I do this week
00:23:10.346 --> 00:23:12.328
will somehow cure my dandruff.
00:23:12.328 --> 00:23:16.118
"When you have bright lights on at night,
like just everywhere in your house and
00:23:16.118 --> 00:23:19.487
you're watching TV and you're on your
phone and you're on your devices
00:23:19.487 --> 00:23:23.557
this blue light and this visible light is
stimulating your serotonin levels when
00:23:23.557 --> 00:23:27.387
it's not supposed to be stimulated, and
your circadian rhythm is getting all out
00:23:27.387 --> 00:23:28.217
of whack."
00:23:28.217 --> 00:23:31.947
Got, this is also gonna be a huge change.
I'm playing video games and working
00:23:31.947 --> 00:23:33.927
until like 1AM fuckin' like every night.
00:23:33.927 --> 00:23:37.777
Literally the lonely stoner seems to free
his mind at night, I don't know if he's
00:23:37.777 --> 00:23:40.807
heard that before.
But now Brandon's saying no bright lights
00:23:40.807 --> 00:23:42.117
at night? That ain't right!
00:23:42.117 --> 00:23:45.837
"And also socialising and connecting with
others is really really important."
00:23:45.837 --> 00:23:48.897
Okay, so I gotta hang out with my friends
and my wife this week.
00:23:48.897 --> 00:23:50.437
I think I can make that happen.
00:23:50.437 --> 00:23:54.255
"Maintaining an overall positive attitude
just overall can be connected to these
00:23:54.255 --> 00:23:58.861
things, you know relaxation and reducing
negativity. Negativity is a powerful
00:23:58.861 --> 00:24:03.681
detriment to your anti-aging goals.
A lot of people who are just negative
00:24:03.681 --> 00:24:08.061
overall tend to have a reduced life span
and just more health issues overall,
00:24:08.061 --> 00:24:11.117
tends to be a correlation there,
an association."
00:24:14.477 --> 00:24:16.515
That's dumb. That's stupid.
00:24:16.515 --> 00:24:20.515
Fuck dude, being negative shortens your
life? Nice knowing you guys!
00:24:20.515 --> 00:24:21.735
Jesus Christ dude.
00:24:21.735 --> 00:24:25.402
"And number 10 tip is basically not
drinking alcohol-"
00:24:25.402 --> 00:24:27.773
Okay. Come on, man.
00:24:27.773 --> 00:24:30.703
How you gonna tell me to be social but not
have any alcohol?
00:24:30.703 --> 00:24:34.533
Yeah, great thing for anti-aging is to go
skydiving but don't wear a parachute!
00:24:34.533 --> 00:24:36.843
Maybe he's just talking about hard liquor,
right?
00:24:36.843 --> 00:24:39.703
'I'm sure he's not meaning 100 million
beers, right friend?'
00:24:39.703 --> 00:24:44.093
"I just don't drink personally because I
know that there's really no benefit to
00:24:44.093 --> 00:24:44.936
alcohol."
00:24:44.936 --> 00:24:48.746
No benefits to alcohol? Okay, you tell
that to my hands that I'm not sure what to
00:24:48.749 --> 00:24:49.809
do with at a concert.
00:24:49.809 --> 00:24:53.349
Alright, I think we've got a firm
understanding of what my anti-aging week
00:24:53.349 --> 00:24:57.059
is gonna look like, but I think before I
dive into the shallow end and break my
00:24:57.059 --> 00:25:01.559
neck, I need one final day of getting all
the fun shit I like doing out of my system
00:25:04.560 --> 00:25:05.390
I got a haircut.
00:25:05.390 --> 00:25:08.655
So I had my quarterly pizza the night
before my week of anti-aging
00:25:08.655 --> 00:25:12.705
and with a chest full of heartburn
I stared at my computer screen for the
00:25:12.705 --> 00:25:16.545
rest of the night. I've been really busy
getting ready for tour and everything
00:25:16.545 --> 00:25:20.535
and I knew I wasn't gonna have that much
time to do it this week, so I had to get
00:25:20.535 --> 00:25:22.125
as much done as I possibly could.
00:25:22.125 --> 00:25:24.515
That being said, I also played some video
games.
00:25:24.515 --> 00:25:27.985
If you're wondering what video game I was
playing, then you're in luck.
00:25:27.985 --> 00:25:31.035
Because it's time to talk about the
sponsor of this week's video
00:25:31.035 --> 00:25:31.944
Zenless Zone Zero.
00:25:31.944 --> 00:25:35.774
Zenless Zone Zero is a brand new, free to
play, action role-playing game set in a
00:25:35.774 --> 00:25:41.254
stylish urban fantasy world that's
available to play on PC, PS5 and on mobile
00:25:41.254 --> 00:25:45.254
Zenless Zone Zero is also published by
Hoyoverse, the makers of Genshin Impact.
00:25:45.254 --> 00:25:48.344
So you already know that this game is a
certified banger.
00:25:48.344 --> 00:25:52.344
I've been plating Zenless Zone Zero, or
ZZZ, for the past few days and I
00:25:52.344 --> 00:25:56.854
absolutely love it. In ZZZ, you take on
the role of Proxy and embark on a
00:25:56.854 --> 00:26:00.854
thrilling adventure with a diverse group
of partners to defeat enemies and unravel
00:26:00.854 --> 00:26:05.189
mysteries in the uniquely designed city of
New Eridu. And I'm completely obsessed
00:26:05.189 --> 00:26:08.934
with the art style, music, voice acting
and animations
00:26:08.934 --> 00:26:13.504
but my favourite part of ZZZ is its fluid
combat system that's simple enough for
00:26:13.504 --> 00:26:17.339
newcomers but diverse enough to provide a
challenge for experienced players.
00:26:17.339 --> 00:26:21.339
And with so many playable characters
combat is always fresh and exciting.
00:26:21.339 --> 00:26:25.029
And speaking of playable characters, I
gotta tell you about the game's newest
00:26:25.029 --> 00:26:27.967
character coming with the 1.1 update:
Jane Doe.
00:26:27.967 --> 00:26:32.477
She's a physical anomaly character who
specialises in rapid attacks to take down
00:26:32.477 --> 00:26:36.394
her enemies and that's pretty much the
playstyle I use in like every RPG I play
00:26:36.394 --> 00:26:40.394
so I'm super excited to add Jane Doe to my
team in Zenless Zone Zero.
00:26:40.394 --> 00:26:44.044
So if you've been itching to jump into a
new game with a vibrant art style
00:26:44.044 --> 00:26:48.044
a compelling story, intriguing characters
and rewarding, impactful combat
00:26:48.044 --> 00:26:50.293
then look no further than
Zenless Zone Zero.
00:26:50.293 --> 00:26:54.729
And like I said earlier it's completely
free to play and it's available on PC, PS5
00:26:54.729 --> 00:26:58.453
and mobile, so what are you waiting for?
Click my link in the description and
00:26:58.453 --> 00:27:01.528
experience the excitement of Zenless Zone
Zero for yourself.
00:27:01.528 --> 00:27:05.238
Thank you so much to Zenless Zone Zero for
sponsoring this video, back to me.
00:27:05.238 --> 00:27:08.998
And I stared at the screen until my eyes
popped out of my skull, freakin' gamer
00:27:08.998 --> 00:27:12.838
style. And oh yeah, I also had a beer
because I wasn't gonna be able to have any
00:27:12.838 --> 00:27:15.498
this week, so I enjoyed the hell out of
this thing. burp
00:27:15.498 --> 00:27:17.968
That beer was almost as nice as
Donkey Kong's ass.
00:27:17.968 --> 00:27:19.678
That was epic, now let's get young.
00:27:24.208 --> 00:27:25.458
I bought a bunch of shit.
00:27:25.458 --> 00:27:30.587
Uhh, I forget how much everything was
I think it was like $400 for everything.
00:27:30.587 --> 00:27:36.037
Never mind, I was wrong. It was like $470
so pretty much like 500 bucks. Insane.
00:27:36.037 --> 00:27:39.600
Oh no, sorry, plus the groceries.
We got everything from Whole Foods
00:27:39.600 --> 00:27:43.600
because where Brandon buys everything
and uh, that place is pretty pricey, I'll
00:27:43.600 --> 00:27:47.440
say that. I think they call it Whole Foods
because they put a hole in my wallet.
00:27:47.918 --> 00:27:51.528
Let's go through what I purchased.
First up, this big thing right behind me
00:27:51.528 --> 00:27:53.768
right here
clang
00:27:53.768 --> 00:27:57.768
That's the uh, my walking thing,
my treadmill, my little walking pad.
00:27:57.768 --> 00:28:02.252
I'm gonna set it up down here in my
recently flooded basement, uh
00:28:02.252 --> 00:28:05.672
it's super empty right now.
This will be my walking zone for the next
00:28:05.672 --> 00:28:08.986
week. Just an empty, white...
'a bitch.'
00:28:08.986 --> 00:28:12.306
Let's go through what I got.
So this is the, oh, this is like a little
00:28:12.306 --> 00:28:16.146
I don't even fuckin' know what I bought.
But this is like a band and you can wear
00:28:16.146 --> 00:28:20.786
it as so many other things.
A wristband, aliceband, blindfuld?
00:28:21.686 --> 00:28:24.176
Yeah, good idea. Just walk around like
that all day?
00:28:24.176 --> 00:28:29.046
Scrunchie, headband, hatliner, cap, durag,
oooooh
00:28:29.976 --> 00:28:31.005
Am I gonna get away?
00:28:31.005 --> 00:28:32.275
Pirate
'arrr!'
00:28:32.275 --> 00:28:37.465
Sunguard, face mask, hood, balaclava.
So I bought like 16 things in one dude.
00:28:37.465 --> 00:28:43.893
And it's completely U... UFP... UPF 50.
UPF Chang's.
00:28:43.893 --> 00:28:45.523
So I should be good to go there.
00:28:45.523 --> 00:28:49.313
Oh yeah, I forgot to say this when I was
recording, but everything I saw on here
00:28:49.313 --> 00:28:53.083
was on Brandon's like Amazon storefront
a lot of the stuff wasn't available on
00:28:53.083 --> 00:28:56.983
Canadian Amazon so I had to like, find
some alternatives, but most of it was from
00:28:56.983 --> 00:28:58.087
Brandon's Amazon page.
00:28:58.087 --> 00:28:59.185
'It's a black square!'
00:28:59.185 --> 00:29:04.273
Okay, and then I've got some blue light
blocking glasses, Gy Snail.
00:29:04.993 --> 00:29:08.383
Gy Snail
Ohhhh yeah.
00:29:09.123 --> 00:29:12.617
How do I look? Wow.
Everything looks like it's covered in piss
00:29:12.617 --> 00:29:17.117
that's pretty cool. Alright next up are my
supplements, I got this probiotic, I also
00:29:17.117 --> 00:29:20.469
got this borage oil? Boraj? Borat?
00:29:20.999 --> 00:29:23.149
'I got this Borat oil, my wife.'
00:29:23.149 --> 00:29:25.999
Essential fatty acids, this thing just
called me a fatty.
00:29:25.999 --> 00:29:30.289
And then I got this uh, Super EFA!
This is something else, this is
00:29:30.289 --> 00:29:35.239
Madagascar Centella Ampoule.
Am... am-pool, am-pool.
00:29:35.239 --> 00:29:39.859
I don't know what it does, but I do like
the movie Madagascar, so if it's anything
00:29:39.859 --> 00:29:44.639
like that I think I'm fucking set.
I also got these Vital Proteins.
00:29:45.204 --> 00:29:48.585
One single ingredient.
All the single ingredients, all the
00:29:48.585 --> 00:29:49.610
single ingredients
00:29:49.610 --> 00:29:54.624
Last but not least, we got some food.
I got sunflower seeds, black sesame seeds
00:29:54.624 --> 00:30:00.021
chia, cacao nibs, cocoa powder, cannellini
beans, some kelp?
00:30:00.021 --> 00:30:01.921
Spongebob Squarepants-ass food.
00:30:01.921 --> 00:30:05.441
And then I got some 100% Hundo.
Dark chocolate.
00:30:05.441 --> 00:30:08.789
Unsweetened almond milk for my smoothies
and my hot chocolate.
00:30:08.789 --> 00:30:15.319
I got these red peppers, I got these red
onions, sweet potatoes, broccoli, spinach
00:30:15.839 --> 00:30:20.769
uh and some salad mix for like, the salad.
And that's pretty much it.
00:30:20.769 --> 00:30:24.359
By the end of this video, I am gonna be
a foetus.
00:30:24.359 --> 00:30:28.146
I got eight hours of sleep my first day
which was really nice but my dog woke me
00:30:28.146 --> 00:30:31.230
up really early because he had to piss and
shit. awww
00:30:31.230 --> 00:30:34.870
So I took him piss and shit and then I
immediately made myself an anti-aging
00:30:34.870 --> 00:30:38.700
coffee. And yes, that's the same as a
regular coffee but I was just manifesting
00:30:38.700 --> 00:30:40.340
that it was gonna make me younger.
00:30:40.340 --> 00:30:44.220
Yeah, so I wanted to use a glass mug to
like, prove to you guys that I actually
00:30:44.220 --> 00:30:48.020
was drinking black coffee, but the only
see-through mug I have is this Instagram
00:30:48.020 --> 00:30:51.860
one that I stole from my old office job.
And it's probably the cheugiest thing I
00:30:51.860 --> 00:30:53.160
own so, apologies for that.
00:30:53.160 --> 00:30:54.704
But first, coffee.
00:30:55.245 --> 00:30:58.995
Like I said earlier in the video, the
first thing I wanna do when I wake up is
00:30:58.995 --> 00:31:02.705
eat food, and usually I'd make like a
breakfast sandwich or a burrito or toast
00:31:02.705 --> 00:31:06.935
or a bagel you know, something with bread.
But today I had to make a Brandon Miles
00:31:06.935 --> 00:31:10.168
May green smoothie.
And now that I'm thinking about it,
00:31:10.168 --> 00:31:14.638
if Brandon Miles May was really all about
that anti-aging lifestyle, you know if he
00:31:14.638 --> 00:31:18.018
really cared about freakin' rewinding the
clock, his name would be
00:31:18.018 --> 00:31:19.907
Brandon Miles April.
00:31:19.907 --> 00:31:24.405
So I put a bunch of spinach, a carrot,
almond milk, water, an avocado,
00:31:24.405 --> 00:31:26.695
oh that looks like what my dog did this
morning.
00:31:26.695 --> 00:31:31.075
I put in some chia seeds, this collagen
peptides powder that I smelled way too
00:31:31.075 --> 00:31:34.395
hard so I got some up my nose,
and then I put in a banana, some black
00:31:34.395 --> 00:31:37.445
sesame seeds and some ice.
And then I blended it all up.
00:31:37.445 --> 00:31:40.845
Yeah, if you weren't hungry before
watching this video, sorry.
00:31:40.845 --> 00:31:44.355
You definitely are now.
You're probably drooling like crazy right
00:31:44.355 --> 00:31:46.055
now, it's fucking disgusting.
00:31:46.055 --> 00:31:49.635
But I was so excited to drink this
smoothie guys, it kind of looks like the
00:31:49.635 --> 00:31:54.065
shit that the plant dad tried to feed his
kids in that one Goosebumps episode
00:31:54.065 --> 00:31:57.165
Stay Out of the Basement.
And I've always wanted to try that, so
00:31:57.165 --> 00:32:00.195
this was pretty cool.
But after all the hard work, breakfast was
00:32:00.195 --> 00:32:02.709
served. I ain't never seen two pretty
best friends.
00:32:02.709 --> 00:32:06.049
And oh yeah, I also prepped some
containers so I can just add milk and
00:32:06.049 --> 00:32:08.849
water and blend them up to save some time
going forward.
00:32:08.849 --> 00:32:12.179
Alright, good morning on the first day of
me becoming a little baby.
00:32:12.179 --> 00:32:16.179
I have my smoothie here, I have pretty
much every single ingredient under the sun
00:32:16.179 --> 00:32:17.209
Down the hatch!
00:32:17.209 --> 00:32:20.418
slurping noises
00:32:31.169 --> 00:32:31.909
It's great.
00:32:32.372 --> 00:32:35.422
It's just spinach I taste because that's
all I put in there but-
00:32:35.422 --> 00:32:36.172
Emememe
00:32:36.172 --> 00:32:38.312
That was me being Popeye.
I wanna be Popeye.
00:32:38.312 --> 00:32:42.072
But hey, if I don't like the flavour, at
least I have this nice black coffee to
00:32:42.072 --> 00:32:44.812
wash it all down with.
I'm just gonna hang out here and...
00:32:46.542 --> 00:32:49.137
and drink this.
And real quick, I'm making it seem like
00:32:49.137 --> 00:32:53.137
I'm a really picky eater, but I promise
you I'm not. I eat a lot of food, I love
00:32:53.137 --> 00:32:57.617
all food pretty much, uh, except for
cilantro. I have the gene that makes it
00:32:57.617 --> 00:33:02.157
taste like soap to me, so anytime I
accidentally eat cilantro it tastes like
00:33:02.157 --> 00:33:04.514
I'm being punished for like saying a
swear word.
00:33:04.514 --> 00:33:09.434
But honestly, I think putting a legit bar
of soap into this blunder would've made it
00:33:09.434 --> 00:33:13.614
taste a lot better. Because this fucking
green smoothie, it tasted like cement bro.
00:33:13.614 --> 00:33:15.481
It took me so long to fucking drink it.
00:33:15.481 --> 00:33:17.536
Sorry I'm being negative and that ages you
00:33:17.536 --> 00:33:19.420
'The smoothie was so good!'
00:33:19.420 --> 00:33:23.690
Okay I've been filming this about half-
35 minutes. A half hour.
00:33:23.690 --> 00:33:27.820
So it's taking me a half hour to drink
all this. I got one final... slurp.
00:33:27.820 --> 00:33:32.117
But after some hard work and determination
I finally finished the smoothie.
00:33:32.117 --> 00:33:33.787
Never felt so young in my life
00:33:33.787 --> 00:33:36.777
Except uh... that's a half hour I'll never
fucking get back.
00:33:36.777 --> 00:33:40.777
Brandon said in his videos that it's
always good to rest after eating your
00:33:40.777 --> 00:33:44.787
breakfast because it helps with digestion.
And I was like 'that's fuckin' stupid, why
00:33:44.787 --> 00:33:47.927
would you need to rest after it?'
But after doing that, I get it.
00:33:47.927 --> 00:33:51.697
That was the most mentally strenuous thing
I've had to do, was get through this
00:33:51.697 --> 00:33:54.368
fucking thing, so good night!
snore
00:33:55.125 --> 00:33:56.245
Instantly fall asleep.
00:33:57.117 --> 00:34:01.734
'I finally rest and watch the sun rise on
a grateful universe.'
00:34:01.734 --> 00:34:05.744
Also woah, I just realised the walls of my
living room are the exact same colour as
00:34:05.744 --> 00:34:08.894
the smoothie I had. Or maybe they aren't,
I'm just hallucinating.
00:34:08.894 --> 00:34:10.934
Now it's time for my stretches!
Oh yeah
00:34:10.934 --> 00:34:14.864
I followed along with Brandon's video and
you know what, I will say these actually
00:34:14.864 --> 00:34:18.554
felt pretty nice. Whether or not doing
these stretches actually makes me look
00:34:18.554 --> 00:34:22.144
younger, I do wanna try incorporate
this into my everyday life going forward
00:34:22.144 --> 00:34:26.144
because it felt great. You can quote me on
this, there's nothing better than getting
00:34:26.144 --> 00:34:26.884
stretched out.
00:34:26.884 --> 00:34:30.574
I especially loved this stretch. I kinda
look like a cat who's about to puke.
00:34:30.574 --> 00:34:34.294
I stretched for about 10 minutes and
oh yeah, one of the stretches reminded me
00:34:34.294 --> 00:34:37.544
of my karate lessons I took 20 years ago
so that was also pretty fun.
00:34:37.544 --> 00:34:40.133
Okay so, first morning routine is pretty
much done.
00:34:40.133 --> 00:34:44.133
Yeah, I don't know if this is because of
the smoothie or the stretching but
00:34:44.133 --> 00:34:48.133
you know what? I do feel a bit more
energised than I usually do.
00:34:48.133 --> 00:34:52.426
Then again that could be like a placebo
effect. But no, this guy doesn't really
00:34:52.426 --> 00:34:55.144
have sugar, so I guess placebo wouldn't
really exist.
00:34:55.144 --> 00:34:59.064
Uh, I do have some work that I gotta get
done and then I guess I'm gonna start
00:34:59.064 --> 00:35:02.214
getting my steps in. But yeah, so far
so good, I think.
00:35:02.214 --> 00:35:05.464
How do I look? I feel like I look older
because I haven't shaved yet.
00:35:05.464 --> 00:35:07.644
The more hair you have, the older you look
00:35:09.814 --> 00:35:13.724
And after I finished some work I went down
to the basement because it was treadmill
00:35:13.724 --> 00:35:14.563
time, brother.
00:35:14.563 --> 00:35:18.563
Alright, I'm in the basement again.
Time to unbox this uh, fucking little
00:35:18.563 --> 00:35:20.321
walking pad as they call it.
00:35:20.321 --> 00:35:25.694
How many steps am I at right now?
It is currently 12:27, I'm at 2,000 steps
00:35:25.694 --> 00:35:28.175
so I need 18,000 more so...
00:35:32.004 --> 00:35:33.064
Yeah, it's a lot.
00:35:33.064 --> 00:35:35.546
I started unboxing my walking pad and this
thing was
00:35:35.546 --> 00:35:37.940
'fully loaded with tons of cool stuff!'
00:35:37.940 --> 00:35:40.722
An L-key, yes!
00:35:40.722 --> 00:35:43.832
It also came with this remote control
and it also came with this.
00:35:44.172 --> 00:35:48.172
Okay so it came with lubri- lubricant oil?
Why'd they give me lube?
00:35:48.172 --> 00:35:51.989
How you gonna give me lube, and also put
something that says 'warm tips'?
00:35:55.376 --> 00:35:59.106
And I really thought this walking pad was
gonna be a huge game changer for me
00:35:59.106 --> 00:36:03.795
because I can get my steps in without the
sun ever touching my skin and just ruining
00:36:03.795 --> 00:36:08.835
my life. But I forgot that one of the best
parts of walking outside is like, looking
00:36:08.835 --> 00:36:14.006
around at shit. Seeing a bird crap on the
ground, seeing a squirrel have sex.
00:36:14.793 --> 00:36:15.973
'Oh, cool shit!'
00:36:15.973 --> 00:36:19.973
So like, after 10 seconds on the walking
pad, I was like immediately bored out of
00:36:19.973 --> 00:36:23.973
my mind. The future is now. You get all
the joy of walking outside without the
00:36:23.973 --> 00:36:28.589
nice warmth from the sun. So... I just
gotta do this for like an hour.
00:36:30.569 --> 00:36:36.009
Ok, I can definitely see why people have
these with like a standing desk because
00:36:36.519 --> 00:36:40.799
this is kind of just like, you're not
really exerting too much energy and you
00:36:40.799 --> 00:36:43.779
can still sort of do something.
But I'm really bored right now.
00:36:43.779 --> 00:36:46.479
Maybe I'll read, maybe I'll read a book
while I do this.
00:36:46.479 --> 00:36:49.952
That'd be pretty cool. Just all the books
are over there. And I'm here.
00:36:49.952 --> 00:36:51.922
If only there was a way for me to move...
00:36:53.087 --> 00:36:58.061
If there was only some sort of way I could
move my legs that would in turn make my
00:36:58.061 --> 00:37:00.061
whole body move to where I want it to go.
00:37:00.061 --> 00:37:00.990
One day.
00:37:03.493 --> 00:37:06.223
Backward style, ohhh, oh my god!
00:37:06.223 --> 00:37:10.449
So this was my view for the next half hour
and let me tell you I have never felt
00:37:10.449 --> 00:37:15.544
younger in my life. Even though the
youngest people I've ever seen in my life
00:37:15.544 --> 00:37:19.464
are never walking. They can't. They can't
walk. So if I really wanna start acting
00:37:19.464 --> 00:37:22.844
young I should just throw on a diaper and
throw a tantrum on the ground.
00:37:22.844 --> 00:37:26.844
And I don't know if it was the leisurely
stroll I took for 30 minutes, or the fact
00:37:26.844 --> 00:37:30.214
that I had blended up spinach for
breakfast, but I was starting to get
00:37:30.214 --> 00:37:34.214
hungie. So I went upstairs to make my
lunch. Brandon says he usually makes a
00:37:34.214 --> 00:37:38.344
huge salad for lunch every day so I
followed his tutorial as close as I could.
00:37:38.344 --> 00:37:43.214
I put spring mix, a bell pepper, sunflower
seeds, black sesame seeds, olive oil and
00:37:43.214 --> 00:37:47.214
balsamic vinegar. I also fried up some
beans and onions, and I also made a
00:37:47.222 --> 00:37:51.932
hard-boiled egg. Because I was fucking
starving and I knew a salad wasn't gonna
00:37:51.932 --> 00:37:54.862
fill me up and I've also seen Brandon eat
those things before.
00:37:54.862 --> 00:37:58.862
That yellow stuff on top isn't my fucking
dandruff or anything, it is nutritional
00:37:58.862 --> 00:38:00.297
yeast. Pretty good yeast.
00:38:00.297 --> 00:38:03.427
And this salad actually tasted really
fucking good. I'll admit it.
00:38:03.427 --> 00:38:06.357
Brandon Miles May have been cooking with
this recipe, I fear.
00:38:06.357 --> 00:38:10.337
Or maybe it was good because I was fucking
starving, but I ate the whole damn thing.
00:38:10.337 --> 00:38:11.797
And I'm not afraid to say it.
00:38:11.797 --> 00:38:13.408
Now it's time for my supplements!
00:38:13.408 --> 00:38:16.678
That's what I say when I see a bunch of
Altoids. Sup, little mints?
00:38:16.678 --> 00:38:18.448
Why'd they make these so fucking big?
00:38:18.448 --> 00:38:23.323
And in Brandon's video where he shows what
he eats in a day, he makes his famous hot
00:38:23.323 --> 00:38:26.090
chocolate right after lunch, so that's
what I did as well.
00:38:26.090 --> 00:38:30.440
I heated up some unsweetened almond milk,
I put in some cocoa powder and then some
00:38:30.440 --> 00:38:35.742
of these cacao nibs because I couldn't
find the wafers that he uses.
00:38:36.012 --> 00:38:37.232
Wafer I hardly know her.
00:38:37.232 --> 00:38:41.012
I cooked them for a while, but this is
when I realised um, I don't fucking know
00:38:41.012 --> 00:38:44.492
what cacao nibs are. What the fuck are
they? Because I was fully under the
00:38:44.492 --> 00:38:47.992
impression that they were just gonna melt
into the milk, but they did not.
00:38:47.992 --> 00:38:48.882
They just got wet.
00:38:49.097 --> 00:38:52.325
What the fuck are cocoa nibs? Cacao nibs.
Cacao!
00:38:52.325 --> 00:38:56.678
So even though I made it incorrectly, I
still had a delicious hot chocolate ready
00:38:56.678 --> 00:38:58.825
to be consumed. So let's give it a try.
00:39:06.505 --> 00:39:08.675
Yeah, this thing tasted like fucking shit.
00:39:08.675 --> 00:39:13.178
I know sugar bad for you but honestly, I
think drinking literal dirt water is worse
00:39:13.178 --> 00:39:17.798
If I ordered a hot chocolate somewhere and
they gave me that, I'm throwing it in
00:39:17.798 --> 00:39:22.376
their face and I am gladly going to jail
for it okay? Because that is fucking evil.
00:39:22.376 --> 00:39:24.319
"This coffee smells like shit!"
00:39:27.764 --> 00:39:28.694
"It is shit."
00:39:28.694 --> 00:39:32.564
For the next few hours, I was just working
in my office and then around dinnertime
00:39:32.564 --> 00:39:36.174
I had some salmon with carrots and
potatoes and this is pretty good because
00:39:36.174 --> 00:39:40.054
it was just, you know, a pretty normal-ass
meal. But then it was time for dessert!
00:39:40.054 --> 00:39:43.064
This is like if Charlie and the Chocolate
Factory had zero fun.
00:39:43.064 --> 00:39:47.832
And Brandon's dessert of choice is frozen
blueberries and dark chocolate.
00:39:47.832 --> 00:39:50.882
And I have a feeling it's gonna look the
exact same coming out.
00:39:50.882 --> 00:39:54.442
Compared to the hot chocolate this
actually wasn't too bad, but you know,
00:39:54.442 --> 00:39:56.242
obviously still not an ideal dessert.
00:39:56.242 --> 00:39:59.432
So if you could eat like a rock.
Picture just eating a rock.
00:40:00.842 --> 00:40:06.592
I unfortunately did not get 20,000 steps
on my first day because I fuckin', I spent
00:40:06.592 --> 00:40:10.592
the whole day cooking. I feel like I had
no fuckin' time to take that many steps.
00:40:10.592 --> 00:40:14.142
Unless you count all the steps that it
took to make that fuckin' smoothie.
00:40:14.142 --> 00:40:18.002
Because there's like 20,000 ingredients
in it. So you know what? Sure, how 'bout
00:40:18.002 --> 00:40:21.862
that. Yes I did, I got 20,000 steps, okay?
So it was like 9PM at this point and I
00:40:21.862 --> 00:40:25.782
needed to go through the final edit of my
comedy special Python that you can watch
00:40:25.782 --> 00:40:28.362
right now for free on my YouTube channel
if you want.
00:40:28.362 --> 00:40:32.172
But using these glasses was a little weird
especially when you're like, reviewing
00:40:32.172 --> 00:40:36.172
footage because it made everything look
like it was at the bottom of a pool that
00:40:36.172 --> 00:40:40.351
is uh, filled with piss. So I just looked
like an idiot when the only feedback I had
00:40:40.351 --> 00:40:42.561
was "This too yellow, fix it. Change it."
00:40:42.561 --> 00:40:43.836
Thanks a lot, glasses.
00:40:43.836 --> 00:40:48.521
But with that my first day of anti-aging
was complete. And it was time for me to go
00:40:48.521 --> 00:40:49.511
Tuesday mode.
00:40:51.659 --> 00:40:55.489
I woke up and realised my shirt needs to
start having some green smoothis 'cause
00:40:55.489 --> 00:40:58.119
that thing is wrinkly, god damn.
Disgusting.
00:40:58.119 --> 00:41:01.959
I needed to walk my dog so I put some
sunscreen on so I could brave the elements
00:41:01.959 --> 00:41:05.609
when I got back I started getting
really hungry, but this was the day that I
00:41:05.609 --> 00:41:09.379
was gonna start fasting in the morning, so
I was only allowed to have a coffee.
00:41:09.379 --> 00:41:13.169
But you know what, if I'm being honest,
eating nothing is actually better than
00:41:13.169 --> 00:41:16.459
eating that "smoothie". So I actually
wasn't too broken up about it.
00:41:16.459 --> 00:41:20.399
I did my morning stretches and this time I
incorporated a quick plank 'cause that's
00:41:20.399 --> 00:41:24.279
hilarious, and by the time I was done all
my stretches and everything it was like
00:41:24.279 --> 00:41:28.279
11:30. And that's when I used to have a
little snack when I was a little boy so I
00:41:28.279 --> 00:41:31.669
figured I was allowed to eat some food
now. And for my snack, I had one
00:41:31.669 --> 00:41:35.669
hard-boiled egg. And that hard-boiled egg
got me thinking about my own anti-aging
00:41:35.669 --> 00:41:36.388
goals.
00:41:39.808 --> 00:41:43.528
A few hours later I went downstairs and
made the same salad as the day before
00:41:43.528 --> 00:41:47.258
but for the next few days I unfortunately
had to make and eat everything in my
00:41:47.258 --> 00:41:50.978
dining room, well I didn't have to eat
everything in the dining room. I didn't
00:41:50.978 --> 00:41:54.068
have to eat like the chairs and the tables
but I had to eat food-
00:41:54.068 --> 00:41:57.488
I was getting my kitchen redone, I was
getting my kitchen floors redone
00:41:57.488 --> 00:42:01.218
so I couldn't really use my kitchen, so
yeah really shit timing to film a video
00:42:01.218 --> 00:42:04.798
that requires a really strict diet when
your kitchen is getting a makeover.
00:42:04.798 --> 00:42:06.128
But then again, so was I.
00:42:06.128 --> 00:42:09.948
I also saw a TikTok from Brandon saying
that cherry tomatoes were a really good
00:42:09.948 --> 00:42:13.838
snack for anti-aging. And one's perfect
because my wife Jenna is growing a bunch
00:42:13.838 --> 00:42:15.248
of cherry tomatoes right now.
00:42:15.248 --> 00:42:19.578
"Cherry tomatoes, organic cherry tomatoes,
you know what these contain? Lycopene."
00:42:19.578 --> 00:42:21.404
Pause, bro. Peen?
00:42:21.404 --> 00:42:22.554
"Lycopene."
00:42:22.554 --> 00:42:25.733
Lycopene? I don't like a peen at all!
I like no peen.
00:42:25.733 --> 00:42:29.953
I didn't wanna do it but, you know, for
anti- aging purposes I grinned and beared
00:42:29.953 --> 00:42:33.533
it, I ate the cherry tomatoes while
repeating 'no homo' in my head over and
00:42:33.533 --> 00:42:36.962
over again and thy were awesome.
Almost as awesome as a guy's penis.
00:42:36.962 --> 00:42:41.402
And then I took my supplements as I
prepared for my first journey outside to
00:42:41.402 --> 00:42:44.260
face my number one foe, the sun.
00:42:44.260 --> 00:42:48.260
And it's interesting because like, all the
other wellness lifestyles I've tried, like
00:42:48.260 --> 00:42:53.080
the billionaire lifestyle, the vision
healing lifestyle, they all praise the sun
00:42:53.080 --> 00:42:57.285
and its healing properties, but with this
anti-aging lifestyle, the sun is like this
00:42:57.285 --> 00:43:00.755
evil villain that needs to be avoided at
all times.
00:43:00.755 --> 00:43:03.892
So I reapplied sunscreen and sat outside
with my dog, Kiwi.
00:43:04.070 --> 00:43:08.670
Not without my UPF 50 hat that looks
really cool, guys.
00:43:08.670 --> 00:43:12.480
And it does look good on me, okay? And if
I see one comment that says otherwise,
00:43:12.480 --> 00:43:14.090
then I implore you to reconsider.
00:43:14.090 --> 00:43:17.380
I look like Zorro.
See how the audio weirdly cut out in this
00:43:17.380 --> 00:43:21.380
clip for some reason? Off- camera, my wife
she immediately agreed with me.
00:43:21.380 --> 00:43:24.690
She actually said I looked cooler than
Zorro. So that was pretty nice.
00:43:24.690 --> 00:43:28.190
We outside for a little longer
and I can't explain how nice it was to be
00:43:28.190 --> 00:43:31.510
outside in the sun. I know it ages you
like crazy, but after a day of
00:43:31.510 --> 00:43:34.740
purposefully staying inside and hiding
from it, I just felt so good.
00:43:34.740 --> 00:43:38.229
Yeah, laugh all you want. I'm gonna be
laughing all the way to the bank.
00:43:41.419 --> 00:43:45.279
But I won't be able to open a bank account
because I'll be... I'll be too young!
00:43:45.279 --> 00:43:49.139
I'm too young, they're gonna say, "you're
too... you must be too young for that,
00:43:49.139 --> 00:43:50.879
for this. You're a little baby boy!"
00:43:50.879 --> 00:43:54.889
A few hours later we ordered some food for
lunch because we couldn't use our kitchen.
00:43:54.889 --> 00:43:57.689
I just ordered some salad and some
steamed broccoli, yum!
00:43:57.689 --> 00:44:00.829
You're probably thinking
eating all these healthy foods would make
00:44:00.829 --> 00:44:04.569
me feel incredible, right? But a pretty
large problem was beginning to become
00:44:04.569 --> 00:44:05.329
apparent.
00:44:05.329 --> 00:44:10.181
Okay, so I've been doing this routine for
like, two days, two full days now.
00:44:10.181 --> 00:44:16.141
This might be TMI but uh, I haven't,
I haven't g- gone to the bathroom.
00:44:16.141 --> 00:44:20.881
I- I've pissed. I've been pissing, uh I
stay pissing. But I... I haven't gone
00:44:20.881 --> 00:44:25.371
number two yet. Kinda weird because I'm
usually a pretty regular guy, I don't know
00:44:25.371 --> 00:44:29.001
what's going on. My body's like, 'where
is all the bread, man? Where's all...
00:44:29.001 --> 00:44:31.931
the bread, dude? We don't know
what to do with all this shit.
00:44:31.931 --> 00:44:35.601
Where's all the bread and cheese, man?'
Just getting all bunged up down there.
00:44:35.601 --> 00:44:39.481
So this is, I don't know if that's good
for my health, but uh, that's where we're
00:44:39.481 --> 00:44:43.161
at right now. Been farting though!
Definitely been farting. And guess if they
00:44:43.161 --> 00:44:48.321
smell insane? I had a pound of greens the
past two days, guess if the farts smell uh
00:44:48.321 --> 00:44:51.751
like they're from another planet. I'll let
you know if anything changes.
00:44:52.409 --> 00:44:56.409
But luckily, me talking about not being
able to poop must've reminded my
00:44:56.409 --> 00:45:00.732
intestines to actually do their job
because like, 30 minutes after I recorded
00:45:00.732 --> 00:45:02.648
all that, I friggin' crapped.
00:45:03.858 --> 00:45:07.628
So it was like 10PM now, and I needed to
sign a bunch of these cards that we're
00:45:07.628 --> 00:45:11.038
gonna be selling on the Goodfellow World
Tour that has just started!
00:45:11.038 --> 00:45:14.758
Come to the shows, please! Buy a signed
card, okay? I signed them all, they're
00:45:14.758 --> 00:45:18.588
sick. They look really cool. Especially
when you aren't looking at them through
00:45:18.588 --> 00:45:22.168
piss glasses. And I forgot to do my
skincare the night before so I did that.
00:45:22.168 --> 00:45:26.038
I ordered this cen...tella shit. I don't
know what it's supposed to do, but it was
00:45:26.038 --> 00:45:28.258
on Brandon's Amazon list so it's gotta be
good.
00:45:28.258 --> 00:45:31.704
And after that, I went to sleep. And now
it's time for Wednesday!
00:45:32.232 --> 00:45:36.222
I made my coffee and my mug was calling me
handsome and I didn't really know how to
00:45:36.222 --> 00:45:39.872
respond because I'm only ten years old.
No one's ever said that to me before.
00:45:39.872 --> 00:45:43.602
Morning. Uh, I thought I would give
everybody a little, little hump day update
00:45:43.602 --> 00:45:47.921
on how everything's going. It's the third,
third day of this anti-aging lifestyle.
00:45:47.921 --> 00:45:52.640
I've been trying to just stay out of the
sun completely to avoid it, and I'm...
00:45:52.640 --> 00:45:57.034
going a little stir-crazy. So I... I think
I'm gonna try to plan some sort of outdoor
00:45:57.034 --> 00:46:01.674
outing tomorrow. It's just to be outside
because I've been uh, just a hermit pretty
00:46:01.674 --> 00:46:06.612
much. But um, I made the smoothie again
but I added some blueberries this time
00:46:06.612 --> 00:46:11.356
and it's funny because when I first had it
when it took me like 45 minutes to drink
00:46:11.356 --> 00:46:16.604
it tasted like cement. But this one kinda
just... this one looks like cement, so
00:46:16.604 --> 00:46:19.764
let's see how it tastes when I add a
little bit of blueberries.
00:46:19.764 --> 00:46:20.919
slurps
00:46:23.862 --> 00:46:26.082
That's like night and day.
That's incredible
00:46:26.082 --> 00:46:28.362
slurps
This is... this is great. I could have
00:46:28.362 --> 00:46:31.172
that every day.
This is the same type of hat The Hat Man
00:46:31.172 --> 00:46:33.202
wears. I gotta take a picture, tonight.
00:46:35.683 --> 00:46:40.333
That also was another tip on TikTok that I
saw, was to sleep on your back. That's
00:46:40.333 --> 00:46:41.999
supposed to be good for anti-aging.
00:46:41.999 --> 00:46:46.525
"Back-sleepers do appear to enjoy fewer
fine lines and wrinkles on their face
00:46:46.525 --> 00:46:48.265
compared to other sleep positions."
00:46:48.265 --> 00:46:51.975
But again, sleeping on your back is how
you get a visit from The Hat Man, me.
00:46:51.975 --> 00:46:52.715
Do you want...
00:46:52.715 --> 00:46:54.955
I show up and I go, 'stop laying on your
back.'
00:46:55.288 --> 00:47:01.448
But yeah, I'm gonna keep up this routine,
I haven't gotten 20,000 steps yet on any
00:47:01.448 --> 00:47:06.930
of the days, which is frustrating. I got
8,000 on Monday, 13,000 yesterday.
00:47:06.930 --> 00:47:10.930
Hopefully I can get 20,000 today. But what
do I know? These numbers are huge.
00:47:10.930 --> 00:47:14.930
I'm just a little baby. I don't know that
num- numbers could even go this big.
00:47:14.930 --> 00:47:20.217
All I know is 1 2 3 and... peekaboo.
But I'm gonna drink this smoothie.
00:47:20.217 --> 00:47:22.017
I'll see you on the other side.
00:47:22.017 --> 00:47:26.017
And as I drank my smoothie, I decided to
watch stuff on YouTube that I would watch
00:47:26.017 --> 00:47:26.718
as a kid.
00:47:26.718 --> 00:47:30.283
I'm watching a fight scene from uh, the
movie The One starring Jet Li.
00:47:30.283 --> 00:47:32.703
"Start speaking and thinking youthful
thoughts."
00:47:32.703 --> 00:47:34.527
And like I said, this smoothie tasted
00:47:34.527 --> 00:47:37.817
incredible because of the added
blueberries, so it only took me like
00:47:37.817 --> 00:47:41.877
10 minutes to crush it, compared to
Monday's 35 minutes, so that was great.
00:47:41.877 --> 00:47:45.487
Dude, that took me 10 minutes. Who knew
putting something that tastes good
00:47:45.487 --> 00:47:48.897
makes something taste good.
Learn new stuff every day. I'm a teenager.
00:47:48.897 --> 00:47:50.277
Uhh, I'm so young it's crazy.
00:47:50.277 --> 00:47:53.917
I then made my way downstairs to my
glorified hamster wheel so I could get
00:47:53.917 --> 00:47:57.777
some steps in. I was able to walk for a
longer period of time on this day because
00:47:57.777 --> 00:48:01.087
I brought my 3DS down and started
a new save file of Pokemon Silver.
00:48:01.087 --> 00:48:04.607
And this seems like a good time to give a
full review on this walking pad.
00:48:04.607 --> 00:48:08.467
So obviously this thing is appealing due
to its small, compact design, but that's
00:48:08.467 --> 00:48:12.367
also kind of a detriment to the product
because like, when you're on it, you gotta
00:48:12.367 --> 00:48:16.037
be fuckin' locked in on where you're
walking. Because if you're not walking in
00:48:16.037 --> 00:48:19.897
a perfectly straight line at the right
speed consistently, it is so easy to like
00:48:19.897 --> 00:48:23.357
slip or like your foot to slip off or you
like, step on the side and you
00:48:23.357 --> 00:48:26.617
trip for a second. And it's
just like, it's really scary. It happened
00:48:26.617 --> 00:48:29.557
to me like, several times. Walking
pad? More like walking bad.
00:48:29.557 --> 00:48:32.697
So overall, I'm gonna give this walking
pad like a 6.5 out of 10.
00:48:32.697 --> 00:48:36.537
If you're good at walking then get it,
I guess. But if you're just a little baby
00:48:36.537 --> 00:48:39.827
like me who learned how to walk last
week, I'd probably just skip it.
00:48:39.827 --> 00:48:41.647
After my walk, I did some lifting with
00:48:41.647 --> 00:48:45.627
some 8-pound weights. Brandon usually uses
12-pound weights but I didn't have any of
00:48:45.627 --> 00:48:48.977
those. But halfway through my workout, I
realised something terrible.
00:48:48.977 --> 00:48:50.136
I was wearing white.
00:48:51.885 --> 00:48:53.065
And I'm doing it now!
00:48:53.065 --> 00:48:55.444
But I'm recording after, so it's fine.
Haha!
00:48:55.444 --> 00:48:58.404
So I put on a black shirt and went right
back to pumping iron.
00:48:58.404 --> 00:49:01.694
I didn't really feel like I was burning
that many calories or anything
00:49:01.694 --> 00:49:05.154
the more I thought about it, the more
I realised what I was doing wasn't
00:49:05.154 --> 00:49:08.964
very youthful at all. Guys who lift a
bunch of weights all the time, they always
00:49:08.964 --> 00:49:11.684
look like, 30 years older than they
actually are, right?
00:49:11.684 --> 00:49:15.514
You could see a 6'5 bodybuilder who's like
bald and shit, he's like super ripped
00:49:15.514 --> 00:49:18.364
he's got like a goatee and you're like,
'how old are you?'
00:49:18.364 --> 00:49:19.844
And he's like, 'yeah I'm 15!'
00:49:19.844 --> 00:49:23.144
If I need to be thinking about
youthful thoughts, I wouldn't think to
00:49:23.144 --> 00:49:25.544
lift weights.
I'd be doing something way different.
00:49:25.544 --> 00:49:26.704
"Smoke weed every day"
00:49:26.704 --> 00:49:30.394
So I did some stretches, I planked again
and Kiwi was stoked that someone else
00:49:30.394 --> 00:49:34.144
was finally at his eye level, so he came
and hung out with me for a little bit.
00:49:34.144 --> 00:49:37.664
And being under 6ft, I know exactly
how that feels. When I see another 5'9
00:49:37.664 --> 00:49:40.584
dude at a party, I'm like,
'yo, what's up, man? This is nice.'
00:49:40.584 --> 00:49:43.634
For a snack, I made one of my favourite
foods, a caprese salad.
00:49:43.634 --> 00:49:47.594
But Brandon never said anywhere that it's
okay to have mozzarella cheese, so I just
00:49:47.594 --> 00:49:51.699
had tomatoes with basil. It was still
really good because the tomatoes and basil
00:49:51.699 --> 00:49:55.699
were fresh from my wife's garden.
But still, cheese would've been awesome.
00:49:55.979 --> 00:49:59.819
And like I said earlier, I don't really
have like a solid routine that I stick to
00:49:59.819 --> 00:50:03.819
every day, so one of the biggest
challenges of this, like, routine was
00:50:03.819 --> 00:50:07.539
actually just sticking to an actual
routine. Like, there was just so much to
00:50:07.539 --> 00:50:11.299
actually do and remember throughout the
day. It was like... it was really hard.
00:50:11.299 --> 00:50:14.769
Because you want your morning
to feel like you're just starting your day
00:50:14.769 --> 00:50:18.459
you're getting into it, you don't wanna be
like, 'I do this, this, I do that-'
00:50:18.459 --> 00:50:21.979
like that's a fucking nightmare.
I was so worried and stressed and anxious
00:50:21.979 --> 00:50:24.869
that it probably aged me
more than if I just lived regularly.
00:50:24.869 --> 00:50:28.369
I didn't do much the rest of the day,
and I also forgot to film my dinner
00:50:28.369 --> 00:50:30.289
so I filmed a little recap after I ate.
00:50:30.289 --> 00:50:34.099
Alright, I forgot to film it, but I just
ate some salmon and broccoli. I had some
00:50:34.099 --> 00:50:36.939
broccoli too. But yeah, I uh, I was really
fucking hungry.
00:50:36.939 --> 00:50:40.659
That's like the main thing I'm realising
this challenge. But I guess just the
00:50:40.659 --> 00:50:44.659
lifestyle is like, I'm just hungry all the
time. So I'm finding myself, like eating
00:50:44.659 --> 00:50:49.289
small amounts of things all day.
Like a bird. I just had a handful of seeds
00:50:49.779 --> 00:50:51.199
like a fucking bird, dude.
00:50:51.199 --> 00:50:55.199
It's alright, having a great time.
I crapped again too, so...
00:50:55.743 --> 00:50:57.053
We're back, we're so back.
00:50:57.053 --> 00:51:01.283
So with Wednesday coming to an end, it was
time for the day that AJR wrote that
00:51:01.283 --> 00:51:02.451
shitty song about.
00:51:02.451 --> 00:51:04.942
"Thirsty thirsty Thrursday"
00:51:05.811 --> 00:51:09.611
I woke up to one of my moustache hairs
trying to escape, and I immediately went
00:51:09.611 --> 00:51:12.862
downstairs to make my green smoothie,
or purple smoothie, sorry.
00:51:12.862 --> 00:51:16.132
This is what I have to look forward to now
and it's pretty awesome.
00:51:16.132 --> 00:51:20.102
I drank my smoothie, and when I went to
put my glass in the dishwasher, I realised
00:51:21.688 --> 00:51:26.738
I forgot the banana. I forgor.
I was devastated. I've never forgotten a
00:51:26.738 --> 00:51:29.788
banana like this before.
So I ate it in the kitchen and threw the
00:51:29.788 --> 00:51:31.138
banana peel on the floor.
00:51:31.138 --> 00:51:32.479
'That was delicious! Woah!'
00:51:32.479 --> 00:51:36.159
I then noticed my dog was sitting in
his favourite spot enjoying the sunshine
00:51:36.159 --> 00:51:40.483
without the proper protection. So like a
good dog owner, I took my UPF 50 hat off
00:51:40.483 --> 00:51:42.727
and put it on Kiwi.
Oh my god, he loves it.
00:51:42.727 --> 00:51:46.727
I did my daily stretches again, and then
for lunch I had some more steamed broccoli
00:51:46.727 --> 00:51:50.251
another hard-boiled egg, and some roasted
sweet potatoes.
00:51:50.251 --> 00:51:52.381
And this meal was pretty good,
I enjoyed it.
00:51:52.381 --> 00:51:56.818
And like I said on Wednesday, I decided to
plan a nice outdoor outing on this day.
00:51:56.818 --> 00:52:01.578
And some of you may know this already, but
I am unfortunately an avid golfer.
00:52:01.660 --> 00:52:05.390
I'm sorry. But I love it. I've played
since I was a kid, I love golf, I love
00:52:05.390 --> 00:52:09.090
getting outside, playing golf with my
friends. You know, trying to improve at
00:52:09.090 --> 00:52:12.930
something that is challenging and that I
enojy. It's really nice. It's like, golf
00:52:12.930 --> 00:52:14.790
is really therapeutic for me.
00:52:14.790 --> 00:52:18.600
Or at least it was, before I found out the
sun is trying to kill me.
00:52:18.600 --> 00:52:22.790
So I decided to go golfing on Thursday.
And this was the perfect time to debut my
00:52:22.790 --> 00:52:25.324
complete sun-protection outfit.
00:52:38.620 --> 00:52:41.701
Yeah, I'd like to see the sun try to start
a fight with that guy.
00:52:41.701 --> 00:52:45.581
I got to the golf course and put a shit
ton of sunscreen all over my legs because
00:52:45.581 --> 00:52:48.291
those were gonna be exposed to the big
bully in the sky.
00:52:48.291 --> 00:52:50.111
Then I was finally ready to go golfing
00:52:50.111 --> 00:52:53.941
I was a little nervous because I'll be
honest, uh... the undershirt I bought is
00:52:53.941 --> 00:52:56.511
made out of like a really, like
constricting material.
00:52:56.511 --> 00:52:58.981
And it was really hard to move and...
and breathe.
00:52:58.981 --> 00:53:01.381
But I went up to hit my first tee shot of
the day.
00:53:01.381 --> 00:53:05.211
"It should be just a nice comfortable
9-iron for him. They're gonna go nuts when
00:53:05.211 --> 00:53:06.901
he hits this thing."
"Yeah!"
00:53:06.901 --> 00:53:10.851
And I'm glad my buddy wasn't filming where
the ball went because holy shit, it was
00:53:10.851 --> 00:53:14.341
really bad. You know, for a sport that
kind of requires you to be flexible
00:53:14.341 --> 00:53:18.341
and comfortable while you play, super warm
and constricting clothing is a terrible
00:53:18.341 --> 00:53:19.051
idea.
00:53:19.051 --> 00:53:20.111
This is really hot.
00:53:20.111 --> 00:53:21.741
But nevertheless, I persisted.
00:53:21.741 --> 00:53:24.711
I played an entire 18 holes in this
fucking outfit.
00:53:24.711 --> 00:53:28.711
And although I looked and felt a little
silly, I was just happy to be outside in
00:53:28.711 --> 00:53:30.821
the sun and getting my 20,000 steps.
00:53:30.821 --> 00:53:34.021
I'm getting some dirty looks from the
other golfers on the course.
00:53:34.021 --> 00:53:37.761
I don't... I can't see why. It's probab-
it's probably jealousy. Probably pure
00:53:37.761 --> 00:53:41.661
jealously. That's okay. I can't breathe
really, which is fun. And I'm really warm.
00:53:41.661 --> 00:53:46.523
I feel like I'm... definitely protecting
myself from the sun, but I... might die
00:53:46.523 --> 00:53:50.223
from a stroke in the process, so I don't
know if this is really... really that
00:53:50.223 --> 00:53:52.826
smart, but...
Dude, I look so young. Oh nice shot!
00:53:52.826 --> 00:53:57.446
Yeah, like I said, my drive was terrible,
I ended up in the trees and I'm absolutely
00:53:57.446 --> 00:53:59.122
blaming my clothes for that, okay?
00:53:59.122 --> 00:54:03.072
When I'm wearing my usual clothes, I hit
the ball in the fairway every single time!
00:54:03.072 --> 00:54:06.852
And this next shot actually wasn't that
bad, I just rolled off the green to the
00:54:06.852 --> 00:54:10.262
left and I was a little upset.
Because I couldn't fucking hit a shot to
00:54:10.262 --> 00:54:11.322
save my life that day.
00:54:11.322 --> 00:54:14.002
Fucking outfit. I usually hit that in
every single time.
00:54:14.002 --> 00:54:17.862
And I'm gonna be honest, wearing these
clothes for four hours on a hot, sunny day
00:54:17.862 --> 00:54:21.462
and walking 20,000 steps was probably the
most uncomfortable I've ever been.
00:54:21.462 --> 00:54:25.412
The face mask was like constantly pushing
on my Adam's apple, it felt like someone
00:54:25.412 --> 00:54:28.892
was trying to choke me, but they just
weren't fully committing, you know?
00:54:28.892 --> 00:54:32.192
Picture like a little garden gnome
trying to just choke you all day.
00:54:32.192 --> 00:54:34.842
It's more annoying than anything,
you know what I mean?
00:54:34.842 --> 00:54:38.692
So yeah, I played like shit pretty much
all day and I am 100% blaming the UPF 50
00:54:38.692 --> 00:54:39.422
clothing.
00:54:39.422 --> 00:54:43.272
And usually after 9 holes I'll stop at the
halfway and I'll get a hotdog, right?
00:54:43.272 --> 00:54:47.032
And I'll eat it in like three or four
bites because I'm so goddamn hungry, but
00:54:47.032 --> 00:54:50.852
obviously this week, hotdogs are a no-go.
But oddly enough, when I was at the
00:54:50.852 --> 00:54:54.442
halfway grabbing a water, they had the...
the grill going and my friend who
00:54:54.442 --> 00:54:58.232
I was golfing with, he ordered a hotdog.
And the girl who was working there was
00:54:58.232 --> 00:54:58.992
actually like,
00:55:01.847 --> 00:55:05.777
And I was blown away by that because one,
probably not the best sales tactic to say
00:55:05.777 --> 00:55:09.497
that after someone orders a hotdog.
And two, out of all the times to hear that
00:55:09.497 --> 00:55:13.497
little titbit of information, I hear it
the one week where I'm trying to extend my
00:55:13.497 --> 00:55:14.977
life, like, what are the odds?
00:55:14.977 --> 00:55:18.967
And this is a thing that people say about
hotdogs, I looked it up and obviously that
00:55:18.967 --> 00:55:22.947
hasn't been proven, because that's like,
impossible to prove. There's so many, like
00:55:22.947 --> 00:55:26.697
different things you have to take into
account. But it's like when people say
00:55:26.697 --> 00:55:30.837
like having one cigarette takes like, you
know, whatever amount off your life, right
00:55:30.837 --> 00:55:31.757
I actually don't...
00:55:31.757 --> 00:55:33.477
How much do they say for cigarettes?
00:55:34.331 --> 00:55:35.031
11?
00:55:35.335 --> 00:55:36.725
"I'm 11 so shut the fuck up."
00:55:36.725 --> 00:55:40.945
You're telling me a hotdog takes more off
your life than a fucking cigarette, dude?
00:55:40.945 --> 00:55:44.185
This changes everything. We gotta replace
cigarettes with hotdogs.
00:55:44.185 --> 00:55:47.985
Imagine you're just engaged with some, you
know, passionate lovemaking with your
00:55:47.985 --> 00:55:51.316
partner. You go over to your
bedside table and you come back, like...
00:55:52.813 --> 00:55:57.823
And if a hotdog shortens your life span,
one can only assume the opposite of a
00:55:57.823 --> 00:56:00.052
hotdog must lengthen your lifespan.
00:56:00.052 --> 00:56:03.222
You ever see a shivering kitten around me?
Don't ask any questions.
00:56:03.222 --> 00:56:05.232
Sorry, back to my day on the golf course.
00:56:05.232 --> 00:56:07.326
Instead of a hotdog, I got a bag of
peanuts!
00:56:07.449 --> 00:56:11.909
Uh, so I ate those like a little fucking
baby bird, it sucked, I... I was starving.
00:56:11.909 --> 00:56:13.251
I was fucking really hungry.
00:56:13.251 --> 00:56:17.231
And on top of my outfit slowly trying to
kill me, and the fact that I looked like I
00:56:17.231 --> 00:56:19.351
was in witness protection, a new issue
arose.
00:56:19.699 --> 00:56:20.839
Oh, this thing stinks.
00:56:23.299 --> 00:56:27.299
Yeah, it turns out walking four miles in
really tight clothing makes you stink like
00:56:27.299 --> 00:56:30.829
shit, so everybody was keeping their
distance from me, but you know what?
00:56:30.829 --> 00:56:31.929
That was okay with me.
00:56:31.929 --> 00:56:35.329
While all the other golfers were
complaining about their golf game and
00:56:35.329 --> 00:56:39.009
beating themselves up about how bad they
were at golf, I was able to blame my
00:56:39.009 --> 00:56:40.087
uncomfortable outfit.
00:56:40.087 --> 00:56:41.287
It's never my fault.
00:56:42.335 --> 00:56:46.151
So when I got home, I made some salmon and
some sweet potatoes, and I also had a
00:56:46.151 --> 00:56:49.775
salad with some cucumbers from my wife's
garden, and it's probably because I
00:56:49.775 --> 00:56:53.595
literally had a few handfuls of nuts for
dinner, but this meal was the best one
00:56:53.595 --> 00:56:57.195
I've had, like all week so far. Like, it
was incredible. I ate it so fast!
00:56:57.195 --> 00:57:01.055
And since I went golfing, I finally had a
day with 20,000 steps.
00:57:01.303 --> 00:57:04.583
And I did it all without ever touching my
walking pad, what the fuck?
00:57:04.583 --> 00:57:10.113
I should've put the walking pad on two
hoverboards so I could still use the
00:57:10.113 --> 00:57:14.290
walking pad outside and walk around.
Work harder, not smarter.
00:57:16.235 --> 00:57:20.235
Friday started off terribly. I woke up to
one of the worst canker sores I've ever
00:57:20.235 --> 00:57:24.265
had in my life, which is super frustrating
because I haven't gotten one of those in a
00:57:24.265 --> 00:57:28.225
really long time. But when I'm living like
really healthy for a week, now I get one?
00:57:28.225 --> 00:57:28.985
Huh?
Cool!
00:57:28.985 --> 00:57:32.895
I also noticed this bag of blueberries
I've been eating all week is like, way too
00:57:32.895 --> 00:57:35.515
slutty for no reason. But I was low-key
fucking with it.
00:57:35.515 --> 00:57:39.205
I made a black coffee as well for yet
another breakfast of champions.
00:57:39.205 --> 00:57:41.774
I have never seen two pretty best friends.
00:57:41.774 --> 00:57:45.524
At this point of the week I was feeling
really burnt out and just sick of this
00:57:45.524 --> 00:57:46.650
anti-aging lifestyle.
00:57:46.650 --> 00:57:50.121
I'm hungry all the time.
Stomach is growling.
00:57:50.121 --> 00:57:54.121
I know it's impossible to see the impacts
of the changes you're making like, in real
00:57:54.121 --> 00:57:54.831
time,
00:57:55.706 --> 00:57:59.666
but I was just so annoyed with everything
at this point and I also had a case of pop
00:57:59.666 --> 00:58:03.196
in the basement that was fucking talking
to me like the Green Goblin mask,
00:58:03.196 --> 00:58:05.016
but I had to stick to my friggin'
diet.
00:58:05.016 --> 00:58:08.616
So I made another pretty, colourful and
healthy salad and ate that for lunch
00:58:08.616 --> 00:58:12.346
and then for a little snack, I had some
blueberries and dark chocolate while I
00:58:12.346 --> 00:58:13.706
watched some YouTube videos.
00:58:13.706 --> 00:58:17.586
And the rest of the day was filled with me
walking on my walking pad and eating
00:58:17.586 --> 00:58:20.816
salmon. I was watching one of
Brandon's videos and he said that he
00:58:20.816 --> 00:58:24.296
stopped eating salmon every day
because he was scared of mercury poisoning
00:58:24.296 --> 00:58:29.066
"Personally, I do consume meat and fish in
very moderate quantities with a focus on
00:58:29.066 --> 00:58:32.606
fish in moderation just because of the, uh
mercury content."
00:58:32.606 --> 00:58:37.726
But I think that's fucking stupid because
mercury's like really far away.
00:58:37.726 --> 00:58:41.176
But anyways, Friday was done, and now it
was time for the weekend, baby!
00:58:43.200 --> 00:58:45.867
Another day, another fucking smoothie.
00:58:46.118 --> 00:58:50.118
And you probably notice the pizza boxes in
the background but those are not mine, ok?
00:58:50.118 --> 00:58:54.688
Trust me, okay? I'm just holding them for
a friend. Well, not really a f- for my
00:58:54.688 --> 00:58:58.678
sister, okay? She was visiting and... and
she wanted pizza so, so she got a pizza ok
00:58:58.678 --> 00:59:02.248
but trust me, okay? They weren't mine
alright, I didn't touch the stuff.
00:59:02.248 --> 00:59:03.908
I already had my quarterly pizza.
00:59:03.908 --> 00:59:07.908
Instead of having an awesome cheesy pizza
for lunch, I had a black coffee, some
00:59:07.908 --> 00:59:14.700
leftover salad and an avocado with kelp
seasoning, and it was so... just alright.
00:59:14.700 --> 00:59:18.340
And my canker sore was getting worse by
the minute, so that was a lot of fun.
00:59:18.340 --> 00:59:22.260
And at this point, I looked up uh, to see
what actually causes canker sores because
00:59:22.260 --> 00:59:25.920
I actually don't know, and Google said
that canker sores can be triggered by
00:59:25.920 --> 00:59:31.900
emotional stress, dietary deficiencies,
menstrual periods, hormonal changes, food
00:59:31.900 --> 00:59:33.907
allergies or trauma in the mouth.
00:59:33.907 --> 00:59:36.232
It was all that lycopene in my mouth, bro.
00:59:36.232 --> 00:59:39.982
Dude, the last time I got a canker sore
this bad was when I was on Accutane in
00:59:39.982 --> 00:59:43.742
high school. And if you know anything
about Accutane, that drug fucks with your
00:59:43.742 --> 00:59:46.532
body, dude. So how is me just eating
greens for a week...
00:59:46.847 --> 00:59:50.722
having the same effect as when I took a
pill that literally changes how your body
00:59:50.722 --> 00:59:52.615
operates. Canker? I hardly know her!
00:59:52.615 --> 00:59:56.415
I'm gonna be honest, I didn't really film
too much on Saturday or Sunday because
00:59:56.415 --> 01:00:00.035
one, I couldn't really eat anything
because it fuckin' hurt way too much to
01:00:00.035 --> 01:00:01.305
put anything in my mouth.
01:00:01.305 --> 01:00:04.265
Even one of those slutty blueberries would
cause too much pain.
01:00:04.265 --> 01:00:08.055
And two, we were out of town visiting
family. But as I got closer to midnight on
01:00:08.055 --> 01:00:11.705
Sunday, I thought about all the hard work
I did to maintain a youthful glow.
01:00:11.705 --> 01:00:14.915
I thought about all the delicious food I
ate and the places I went.
01:00:14.915 --> 01:00:18.665
I reminisced about all the loving and
adoring looks of approval I got on the
01:00:18.665 --> 01:00:20.325
golf course for my Zorro cosplay.
01:00:20.325 --> 01:00:23.955
And as I played the Youthful Affirmations
video for the last time through my
01:00:23.955 --> 01:00:29.217
piss-coloured glasses, 11:59PM on Sunday
quickly turned into 12AM on Monday.
01:00:29.217 --> 01:00:33.217
And my anti-aging journey was finally
complete.
01:00:38.211 --> 01:00:41.561
Alright, it's time to talk about the
findings of my little anti-aging
01:00:41.561 --> 01:00:45.063
experiment. First off, the most obvious
question: do I look any different?
01:00:49.029 --> 01:00:52.742
Yes. But that's only because I got a
haircut. If I had the same hair length as
01:00:52.742 --> 01:00:56.432
the beginning of the week, I would
probably look the exact same if not older.
01:00:56.432 --> 01:01:00.102
I don't see any difference between these
two pictures because obviously it's
01:01:00.102 --> 01:01:04.202
impossible to see the effects of lifestyle
changes in just seven days, right?
01:01:04.202 --> 01:01:08.012
It takes, it takes months, years even.
But I just wanted to do this video to show
01:01:08.012 --> 01:01:11.202
you guys what, you know, what a week in
this lifestyle would entail.
01:01:11.202 --> 01:01:14.862
And in terms of how I felt throughout the
week, I felt pretty similar... I was
01:01:14.862 --> 01:01:19.368
definitely more hungry, but the one main
difference I did notice is I did feel more
01:01:19.368 --> 01:01:22.160
energised than I usually do, like right
after breakfast.
01:01:22.160 --> 01:01:25.820
And that's gotta be the smoothie because
it's just really full of like, really
01:01:25.820 --> 01:01:29.720
good, healthy ingredients. I also really
enjoyed the daily, like, stretches for my
01:01:29.720 --> 01:01:32.980
back because I've been dealing with back
pain for the last few years.
01:01:32.980 --> 01:01:36.210
And just getting more movement really
helped out. So I'm gonna keep
01:01:36.210 --> 01:01:40.210
doing that. But speaking of back movements
I had to bend over backwards to get 20,000
01:01:40.210 --> 01:01:44.170
steps, dude. That was an impossible feat.
It was impossible for my feet. That is an
01:01:44.170 --> 01:01:47.550
insane amount of steps in a day, dude.
10,000 steps? That is perfect.
01:01:47.550 --> 01:01:51.230
That is actually just as good as 20,000
steps and it's a lot easier to get.
01:01:51.230 --> 01:01:54.320
I don't have any proof to back that up,
but I'm standing by it.
01:01:54.320 --> 01:01:56.110
So would I recommend this lifestyle?
01:01:56.110 --> 01:01:58.100
No! This sucked. This was dumb.
01:01:58.100 --> 01:02:05.511
I personally think that uh, basing your
entire life around uh, anti-aging is, like
01:02:05.511 --> 01:02:09.511
pretty sad. And it's fucking exhausting
too, and I'm speaking from experience.
01:02:09.511 --> 01:02:12.656
No shade to Brandon, of course, because
he's always in the shade.
01:02:12.656 --> 01:02:16.656
But I think aging is something we should
all embrace instead of fear.
01:02:16.656 --> 01:02:20.656
Because what's so bad about aging?
'Oh, your hair turns grey? Oh no!
01:02:24.076 --> 01:02:28.346
Oh, your face is starting to wrinkle?
Oh no, you've lived a long, eventful life
01:02:28.346 --> 01:02:32.346
and your body is changing as it goes
through the natural aging process.
01:02:32.346 --> 01:02:33.466
What a nightmare!
01:02:33.466 --> 01:02:38.125
People used to die at, like, age 28.
Don't get me wrong, I understand why aging
01:02:38.125 --> 01:02:41.845
can be scary. I'm not gonna sit here and
pretend like I don't worry about my
01:02:41.845 --> 01:02:45.845
hairline or my skin or like my overall
physical health as I get older
01:02:45.845 --> 01:02:50.651
but changing your entire lifestyle just to
slow the aging process just isn't worth it
01:02:50.651 --> 01:02:56.291
like especially now in the year 2024.
Like, we've maybe got like a good 50 years
01:02:56.291 --> 01:03:01.069
left on this planet. It's like sick, you
lived to 150 only to die in the water war
01:03:01.069 --> 01:03:02.919
of 2125? Congrats, dude.
01:03:02.919 --> 01:03:06.489
There's nothing wrong with looking older,
there's nothing wrong with aging,
01:03:06.489 --> 01:03:09.139
and there's nothing bad about going
outside in the sun.
01:03:09.139 --> 01:03:12.659
I don't want to live a life where I'm
fucking petrified of the sun, okay?
01:03:12.659 --> 01:03:14.149
That is... that is a nightmare.
01:03:14.149 --> 01:03:18.039
You want me to move into a fucking cave
system so I look like one of those goblins
01:03:18.039 --> 01:03:21.249
from The Descent? Oh my god, drop the
skincare routine guide, wow.
01:03:21.249 --> 01:03:25.159
Also so funny to me is seeing these people
like Bryan Johnson and Brandon Miles May
01:03:25.159 --> 01:03:29.847
go through all this effort to live as long
as I can and look as young as possible
01:03:29.847 --> 01:03:33.847
when you, like, constantly hear these
anecdotes from people who are actually
01:03:33.847 --> 01:03:37.679
living past 100. And every time they ask
these people how they live that long is
01:03:37.679 --> 01:03:41.089
always like, 'yeah, I just celebrated my
105th birthday and my secret?
01:03:41.089 --> 01:03:42.259
Four Dr. Peppers a day.'
01:03:42.259 --> 01:03:45.599
Sometimes you can't control the aging
process, dude. And that's fine.
01:03:45.599 --> 01:03:49.559
You watching this right now, you are older
than you were when you started watching
01:03:49.559 --> 01:03:53.395
this video. I'm older than I was when I
started making this video. Even with all
01:03:53.395 --> 01:03:57.896
the anti-aging shit I did. And even if you
extend your life with anti-aging
01:03:57.896 --> 01:04:03.586
life is fucking way too short to spend all
of it trying to extend it a little bit.
01:04:03.586 --> 01:04:07.526
Like when you think this Bryan Johnson guy
is on his deathbed, he's gonna be like,
01:04:07.526 --> 01:04:10.938
'ugh, if I only ate more green poop I
could've made it to tomorrow.'
01:04:10.938 --> 01:04:14.458
Like, to me, I just think it's a little
silly to prevent aging, you know?
01:04:14.458 --> 01:04:16.941
The thing that is happening all the
fucking time?
01:04:16.941 --> 01:04:19.924
That's like trying to stop Pitbull from
devilishly smirking.
01:04:20.559 --> 01:04:21.449
Not gonna happen.
01:04:21.449 --> 01:04:24.699
In conclusion, I guess, a lot of my
viewers are, you know, younger.
01:04:24.699 --> 01:04:28.169
Teenagers, in your 20s, right?
And I just wanna let all of you guys know
01:04:28.169 --> 01:04:33.359
aging is a privilege. And I kinda feel bad
that a lot of you are never gonna get this
01:04:33.359 --> 01:04:37.049
hour of your life back that you spent
watching this video, or half hour if you
01:04:37.049 --> 01:04:41.059
watched it in 2x speed, so I'm gonna take
one for the team and also lose an hour of
01:04:41.059 --> 01:04:43.993
my life, uh, while I eat these two hotdogs
01:04:43.993 --> 01:04:45.013
Thanks for watching!