1 00:00:02,502 --> 00:00:06,502 Folks 2 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 You guys ever think about how every passing second brings us just a little bit 3 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 closer to death? Yeah, me neither. 4 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I feel like I say this all the time, but I just turned 30 and I'll be honest, 5 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I'm feeling it. I remember being a kid and hearing my dad complain about his 6 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 back pain, and then in my head I was like, 'damn, that must suck. Good thing it's 7 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 never gonna happen to me though!' But alas! Here I am! 8 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 If I sleep incorrectly, I have to take an Advil. Last summer I rode a roller coaster 9 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and I had a headache for a week. I'm being slowly dragged to hell and I can 10 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 feel it. But aging is a part of life, ok? It's inevitable. We're all aging all the 11 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 time, that's quite literally how the human body works. But for as long as us humans 12 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 have been around, we have been trying to fight this natural decay that we all 13 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 experience. And anti-aging content has been around for a while, but lately I've 14 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 seen an increase in popularity of anti- aging products and techniques on TikTok 15 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 specifically and I thought it'd be fun if we took a look at them today. 16 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I should say I haven't seen a lot personally because my For You page is 17 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 all the way cooked. It's fuckin' burnt to a crisp. 18 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But my wife has seen a lot of these videos she's actually the one who gave me this 19 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 video idea. So everybody say thank you Jenna on three. One two three 20 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Thank you, Jenna! 21 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 So first off, I think that it's important that we talk about the history of 22 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 anti-aging products and techniques because the concept of anti-aging in itself is 23 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 very old and wrinkly, gross, yuck. 24 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Even dating all the way back to 69 BCE, hilarious year by the way. 25 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 In the year 69 BCE, Cleopatra apparently took daily baths in donkey milk in order 26 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 to maintain a youthful look. Now I know why the dragon from Shrek looks 27 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 so young. It's all that donkey milk. 28 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And in the year 1513, Juan Ponce de Léon risked his life and set off on a journey 29 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 to find the fabled fountain of youth. A spring that was said to provide eternal 30 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 life. He never actually found the fountain of youth, but what he found was even 31 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 better. 32 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Florida. 33 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And that is real. He went out to find the fountain of youth and he found the fucking 34 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 opposite. Florida. That is the opposite of the fountain of youth. Because most people 35 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 down there look like an old leather couch. People from Florida, their skin looks like 36 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 a black metal band's logo. And there's tons of stories like this throughout 37 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 history. Apparently Elizabethan women placed thin slices of raw meat directly on 38 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 their face. I'm sure their husbands were pretty stoked on that. 39 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But one of the first anti-aging products ever was released to the public in 1889 40 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and they were called Frownies. These were like little adhesive patches that hold 41 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 your skin tight so you don't develop wrinkles. And the origin story of this 42 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 product is pretty interesting. So the inventor of Frownies apparently noticed 43 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 some frown lines on her daughter and she immediately got to work on a product that 44 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 could fix her daughter's wrinkly fucked up face. Gosh I wonder why her daughter was 45 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 frowning so much in the first place, you know? Guess we'll never know. 46 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And since the release of Frownies in 1889, the anti-aging world has grown 47 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 exponentially. There's anti-aging creams, lotions, pillows, supplements, diets, 48 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 procedures, you can pretty much sell anything you want to people if you just 49 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 tell them it will make them look younger. That being said, buying tickets to my 50 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 shows, and also buying my merch will actually make you look 10 years younger. 51 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's crazy. It's also not lost on me that like 99% of anti-aging products and 52 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 procedures are marketed directly towards women. You know, in this patriarchal 53 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 society we live in, cause we do live in a society. 54 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 From an early age the pressure and, like, proposed importance of maintaining a 55 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 youthful image is absolutely drilled into girls' brains through various forms of 56 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 media and marketing. There's this fucked up idea that, like, 57 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 women's most valuable asset is their youth which is, number one, incorrect and two, 58 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 weird as fuck. It's like when you hear people talk about an older celebrity and 59 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 they're like, 'wow she looks so nice for her age!' 60 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And it's like, yeah I don't know if you needed those last three words. 61 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 You could just say someone looks good, you know? 62 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's crazy cause it's kind of the opposite for dudes. We've kind of, like, tricked 63 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 the world into thinking that men get more attractive as they age. 64 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And don't get me wrong, that is true for some dudes, but most old guys? 65 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Uhhh? Woof. 66 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 If you think dudes get hotter with age, you take a trip down to the fountain of 67 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 death. AKA Florida. And you'll see what most old men look like. 68 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But I've never personally felt the, like, societal pressure to hold onto my youth as 69 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 a man. 70 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "I'm a man." 71 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But it happens all the time with girls and it's still happening today. 72 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "Here's some things that I do to slow down the aging process as a 14 year old. 73 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I started doing most of these things at 12. Number one, I take two apple cider 74 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 vinegar pills, I do this twice a day. Number two, I use a retinol twice a day. 75 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Next is, I love Korean skincare and I do two face masks a day." 76 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Call me crazy but I think a literal child having an anti-aging routine 77 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 is a little dystopian. Because it's like you're already young. Why are you doing an 78 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 anti-aging video? That's like if you saw a TikTok of Jeff Bezos and he was like, 79 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 'This is how I have fun on a budget.' 80 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's like, dude, you don't need to worry about that, man. 81 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And look, I'm not gonna sit here and tell you what procedures not to get or what 82 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 products not to use. It's your body, your decision. But I just hope with people who 83 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 are doing these anti-aging procedures and stuff, I just hope they're doing it for 84 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 the right reason. And again, I'm not smart. 85 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 If you want a deep, insightful commentary on this topic, or fucking any topic, 86 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 you're at the wrong- you're watching the wrong guy. You got the wrong guy. 87 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But I guess anti-aging, you know, it's not inherently bad, but with every 88 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 other fucking thing on this planet, some people are taking it a little too far. 89 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And I thought it'd be interesting to actually try out some of these anti-aging 90 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 techniques / products and see if they have any actual effect. But first, we have to 91 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 actually find out how to reverse my age. So I think we need to go to the most 92 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 reliable place on the internet to find well-documented, peer-reviewed information 93 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 on this subject. 94 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Tiktok! 95 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "You're not ugly or old, but your inner dialog might be. If you want the ultimate 96 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 glow-up, you won't find it in a bottle, but in the power of positive affirmations" 97 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Ding ding ding! You said the magic word! 98 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "Start speaking and thinking youthful thoughts." Okay... 99 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "Because your thoughts shape your reality" 100 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Positive affirmations, manifesting, that's a classic with this type of shit. 101 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Manifesting was a huge part of the video where I did, where I took a vision healing 102 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 masterclass, so I'm pretty familiar with the concept, alright? This ain't my first 103 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 rodeo. And hey, if it works for you, that's wicked. 104 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But the thing I'm confused about, she tells people to 'think and speak 105 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 youthful thoughts'. 106 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "Start speaking and thinking youthful thoughts." 107 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 What, what is that? What even is a youthful thought? 108 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 'Woah, he's so deep in thought I wonder what he's thinking about.' 109 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 'Just a widdle baby. I make boom boom in my dipey and I miss my mommy. I wuv 110 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Cocomelon so much.' 111 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 'Oh my god, what's that smell? Dude, did you shit yourself?' 112 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 So this creator actually sells the exact affirmations you need to say on her 113 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 website for $10, but I unfortunately can't buy those cause I'm just a little baby 114 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 with no money. 115 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 So I found a video on YouTube called Age Reversal Affirmations. 116 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "Rekindle your spirit and ignite the passion with these reverse aging 117 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 affirmations. Listen or repeat them for at least 21 days in a row." 118 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 21 days in a row? What the f- Dude, no sleeping, no eating, 119 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 no exercising, no doing any of the things that will, like, keep you healthy 120 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and also maintain a youthful appearance 121 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Fuck all that. 122 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 You just sit in your fuckin' affirmations cave for three weeks straight. 123 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Imagine I walk out of my office 21 days later fuckin' sunken in eyes and stuff 124 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 you can see my bones 125 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 'I've never felt so young!' 126 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Okay, so let's see what these affirmations are. 127 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "I have the spirit of a young." I have the spirit of a young. 128 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "I am glowing." I am glowing. 129 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "My bones and veins are in the best shape" My bones- my bones and veins are in the 130 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 best shape. Just my bones and veins though, 131 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 everything else sucks. 132 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I can't really tell if these worked or not because I haven't done them for three 133 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 weeks straight, but I don't know, I can already feel like I have the spirit of a 134 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 young. The comments on this video are really interesting too. 135 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And it's like, cool. Good for these people right? If that's what they wanna look like 136 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Like, personally, why would you wanna look 18 forever? That is a nightmare. 137 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 This was me at 18. 138 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 If I still looked like this, I would be a Batman villain, dude. I'd be fucking crazy 139 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I'd be so mad all the time. Dude I'd be running around Gotham fuckin' 140 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 poppin' zits on people and shit, and I could fly because I'm, like, my- 141 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 all my backne is popping so much all the pus coming out, the force of all 142 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 my back zits popping just- 143 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Sorry, moving on from that horrifying picture of 18-year-old me 144 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 So we know there's a lot of products and procedures that exist out there to slow 145 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 the aging process. But even that's not enough for some people. 146 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 One man in particular is going to extreme lengths to not just slow the aging process 147 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 but reverse it entirely. And his name is Bryan Johnson. 148 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I wish his last name was Griffin. That'd be so savage. 149 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 So this Bryan Johnson guy is a Mormon entrepreneur and venture capitalist from 150 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Utah. 151 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I know, pretty crazy, a Mormon from Utah? Now I have seen everything. 152 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And I'm sure some of you have probably seen this guy around the internet talking 153 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 about his age reversal endeavours, but the shit he does is pretty fuckin' insane 154 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 in my personal opinion. 155 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I watched his full morning routine and it is wild. 156 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "I just woke up-" 157 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I'm not gonna play the whole thing cause it's pretty lengthy, but I'll do a quick 158 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 run through. 159 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 He stars off his morning by taking his temperature. He then stands in front of a 160 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 light that imitates sunlight because he wakes up before the sun rises of course. 161 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 He then takes iron and vitamin C, he then weighs himself every morning by the way 162 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and not just his body weight. 163 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "Weight, BMI, fat, muscle, visceral fat, water, bone, heart rate and EBA. 164 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It also gives me the air quality in the area." 165 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Dude, I will go to the greatest lengths to not weigh myself. This guy does it every 166 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 morning. Fuckin respect. Because for me, that is fucking torture, dude. 167 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Nah, maybe torture is a strong word. I can imagine a Saw trap that's like 168 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "Stand on the scale, or die." 169 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Bryan then does five minutes of blue light therapy, he then does a meditation, 170 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 some weird vibrator thing that he never really explains fully. He puts in eyedrops 171 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and then he prepares his daily pills. And this has gotta be the craziest shit I 172 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 have ever seen. Think of how many pills he's gonna have. 173 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's more than that. 174 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I don't know how many pills are in here, I think last time we recorded it was 175 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 something like over 50, maybe 60. That looks like a lot more, I'm not sure 176 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 what's going on here." 177 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 50 to 60 pills every day? Buddy swallows a fuckin' entire pharmacy every morning dude 178 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 That is wild, he's gotta tone it down. I think Bryan's gotta incorporate a couple 179 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 of chill pills in there as well because Jesus Christ man. 180 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But Bryan still isn't done. He now puts red light on his head to prevent hair loss 181 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and if red light prevents hair loss, looks like I'm keeping mine forever. 182 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Sometimes when I'm driving, I hit so many red lights. 183 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Then he preps his food for the day. 184 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "This is what I'm gonna eat after we work out. Yeah, overall it's a lot of 185 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 vegetables every month. It's over 50 pounds, I think." 186 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I hate to break it to you man, but that's shit from a butt. 187 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "I know people look at it and they say it's green goop and they like to make fun 188 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 of it." 189 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Of course I'm gonna make fun of it, dude. That looks like baby shit, what the fuck? 190 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I found out this guy has a son too. That's gotta suck to have this guy as a dad. 191 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 'Sorry son, you're grounded.' 192 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 'Eat shit, dad.' 193 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 'I do.' 194 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 He's still not done by the way. He then prepares his second meal of the day which 195 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 he calls nutty pudding "Nutty pudding-" 196 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 which is like a protein powder that he actually sells on his website. 197 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Maybe it's called that because you gotta be a little nutty if you're gonna be 198 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 'pudding' that into your body. 199 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And would you believe me if I told you his morning routine still isn't done? 200 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 No it's not! 201 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 We're like fuckin' halfway through it dude by the time this morning routine is done 202 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 he's gonna have to start his bedtime routine. Because Jesus this is taking all 203 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 fuckin' day. 204 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 So after making his poop and sand, he does a quick workout and then he finally eats 205 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 his breakfast. That honestly seems like so much work compared to my morning routine. 206 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 My entire morning routine can be summed up with the first two words of Chop Suey by 207 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 System of a Down. 208 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "Wake up-" 209 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 That's it man, that's it. I'm awake. And that's the thing, it's wild seeing 210 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 morning routines like this because, like, who is this for? I made this point in my 211 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Living Like a Billionaire for a Week video but like 99% of people do not have the 212 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 time to do this shit when they wake up. He says in this video that his morning 213 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 routine can take up to four hours. 214 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "My morning routine is about three to four hours, it varies on any given day 215 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 sometimes I go-" Too long. 216 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 This is just not realistic to normal people. But honestly, I don't know why 217 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I'm getting so hung up on this guy, like who even cares what this guy has to say 218 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 anyway? He doesn't even have the erection of an 18-year-old. 219 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Uh, yeah. I feel like even a manicurist would say that's the grossest thumbnail 220 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 they've ever seen. What the fuck is that. I also found this really interesting video 221 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 of Bryan Johnson. He's using yet some other fuckin' crazy contraption to make 222 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 himself younger. 223 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "Today I'm going to show you the machine I use that allows me to do the equivalent of 224 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 20,000 sit-ups in 30 minutes time. I've set the machine to 100% and 15 so 225 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 it's the max level. This is definitely not something you wanns start with 226 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 what it feels like is, it's pulling your entire stomach out. Like ripping it out. 227 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Strap it on-" 228 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Imagine he starts the machine and it's just like, 'aaaah! It hurts, it hurts! 229 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Kill me! Just kill me, put me out of my misery, aaaah!' 230 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Exercise complete 231 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Alright, now if you guys want one of these hit the link in my bio. 232 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Also, like a part of his face is like discoloured in this, it's like yellow. 233 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 His face is like yellow in this video. I don't know if that's healthy, right? 234 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Is he going through the new experimental Simpsons treatment? 235 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 So yeah, this Bryan Johnson guy is like the final boss of anti-aging 236 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 but I don't think I'm ready to experience that just yet, I gotta work my way up 237 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 right? And I think I found the perfect person. 238 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 His name is Brandon Miles May, or @brandonskincare 239 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and he has been getting pretty popular on TikTok recently and here's why. 240 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "I'm 35 and many people ask me if I don't smile or laugh to prevent fine lines and 241 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 wrinkles. And it's not true, I do laugh and I do smile. This is how I laugh 242 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 without using Botox and for preventing fine lines and wrinkles. Ahaha, ahaha!" 243 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Yeah, so he's obviously doing a bit in this video, but this guy is allegedly 35 244 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 years old. For someone who looks that young, I'd assume he would have like a 245 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 fucking Jimmy Neutron-sized head because his head's gotta be full of 246 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 youthful thoughts. 247 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 When I first saw this video, I felt like I was being, like, possessed by a far right 248 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 conservative because all I wanted to comment was, 'show me your birth 249 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 certificate.' Because I just couldn't fucking believe it, honestly still kinda 250 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 don't believe it, but that is the story he's sticking with, so that's great. 251 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 He takes this shit pretty serious so, you know what? Sure. He's 35. 252 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 This guy is five years older than me. 253 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And Brandon's entire internet persona is based around anti-aging. 254 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 He eats food for the sole purpose of anti-aging. Same as his skincare routine. 255 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Even his clothing helps him stay young. 256 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "Anti-aging outfit of the day! Are you ready for this?" 257 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "So today is really warm, so it's pretty basic. I have a UPF 50 hoodie on 258 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 right here this is- has the thumb holes for the backs of the hands, but I can also 259 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 use this to protect the sides of my face, I have my big sunglasses on to protect 260 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 like pretty much half of my face, I have a UPF 50 cap that has a long bill 261 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I'm wearing J.Crew shorts and sunscreen on my legs." 262 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 If you can tell, any clothing that Brandon wears it, uh, it protects him from the sun 263 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 because according to him the sun is the main contributor to the aging of the skin. 264 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "I just practice safe sun protective behaviours because the sun contributes 265 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 up to 90% of the skin's visible signs of aging." 266 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And he's not wrong. the sun is incredibly dangerous for your skin if you don't 267 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 protect yourself. So he wears clothing that is UPF 50, and that stands for 268 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Ultraviolet Protection Factor. 269 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And apparently UPF 50 clothing blocks 98% of the sun's rays. 270 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 This guy would probably still be a fuckin' baby if it blocked 100%. 271 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I gotta say though, including the sunscreen in the fit check- 272 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "And sunscreen on my legs-" 273 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 That's genuinely one of the funniest things I've ever seen. 274 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 People gotta start getting like super specific like that in those like 275 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 'walk me through your fit' videos. 276 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "Alright, walk me through your fit." 277 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "Alright well first off I got the toupee on my head, Gucci t-shirts, 278 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 swollen nipples from when my older brother purple nurpled me this morning, 279 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Dolce & Gabbana jeans, preparation H on my haemorrhoid, herpes medication on my 280 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 wiener and I got the Prada shoes with my ankle monitor from my house arrest." 281 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "House arrest?" 282 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "Police! Get your hands up, get down on the ground!" 283 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "Also just copped a taser in the back." 284 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And this is all well and good, but I feel like at a certain point it's like kind of 285 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 impossible to avoid the sun. And also like why would you rob yourself of that joy? 286 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 There's like no better feeling than having the sun on your face. 287 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Like what about when you're driving, what are you gonna do then? 288 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Maybe like, you know those sun blockers that people put on their car windows when 289 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 they park their car? 290 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I imagine Brandon just has that over his windshield at all times, just absolutely 291 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 mowing people down, can't see shit... 292 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Sorry, let's get back to Brandon, let's see what kind of food he's eating so 293 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 he can keep that youthful glow. 294 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "Here's what I'm eating for dinner tonight for the purposes of anti-aging. 295 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 This is steamed broccoli and steamed bell peppers, the broccoli is high in vitamin C 296 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 good for collagen synthesis, it also contains sulforaphane which increases NRF2 297 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 NRF2 pathway-" overlapping dialog 298 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 This guy's just making up words. What the fuck was all that shit. 299 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I'm convinced he's speaking in tongues dude, he needs to be, he needs to be 300 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 exorcised by a priest. And I can't help but think about that tweet, 301 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 of a person who's meal prepping broccoli, chicken and eggs and someone quote tweeted 302 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 it with, 'okay mr fart'. 303 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 That's all I'm thinking of when I look at that dinner, dude. This dude's farts could 304 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 probably make you hallucinate bro. Oh, you know what? Maybe that's what UPF 305 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 stands for. Ur Prolly Farting. 306 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I also just watched a video from Brandon saying that he eats pizza once a quarter. 307 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "I would say about 95% of the time I eat everything that I show here on TikTok 308 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 about 5% of the time, yes I'll go out with a friend or like my partner or somebody 309 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and we will maybe get pizza, maybe like every quarter or so we might have pizza 310 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 it's not like a big deal for me." 311 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Which sounds like a brutal existence dude, a pizza every quarter? 312 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Just one pizza a quarter? 313 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I'd have a quarter of a pizza every hour if I could, dude. 314 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Like I said earlier, I wanna see how effective this anti-aging lifestyle really 315 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 is. So for the next week, I'm gonna live my life the exact same way Brandon does. 316 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And we'll see if I end up looking any younger. But first, we need to lock down a 317 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 daily routine. 318 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Okay so luckily, Brandon has a lot of videos detailing pretty much everything he 319 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 does in a typical day for anti-aging. Let's start off with what I'm gonna be 320 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 eating this week. 321 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 He has a video called 'What I eat in a day for anti-aging'. 322 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 To summarise that video, Brandon has a dark roast coffee in the morning and then 323 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 an hour or two later, he has breakfast which sucks for me because the first thing 324 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 on my mind when I wake up is what I'm gonna eat for breakfast. 325 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 For breakfast he says he makes a green smoothie on days where he isn't fasting. 326 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I figured I'd do a smoothie pretty much every day and then one day I'll try to go 327 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 fasting and see how that goes. 328 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And then a few hours later he makes a humongous salad for lunch. 329 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 He then makes a hot chocolate made of 100% cacao, cocoa powder, almon milk and salt. 330 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And I don't know about you guys but I like my hot chocolate sweet as hell. 331 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 So let's see how he sweetens it. 332 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "No sweetener, I don't add any sweetener or sugar, so it is bitter." 333 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Great. 334 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And for dinner, Brandon usually does salmon or some other kind of fish for 335 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 omega-3. I don't know what those are, it sounds like it could be one of the fuckin' 336 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Autobots. 'Omega-3, roll out.' 337 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And then alongside the salmon Brandon also has broccoli and 338 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "my favourite fall vegetable, a sweet potato." 339 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And then for dessert he does frozen blueberries and dark chocolate. 340 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 So that's gonna be pretty much my diet every single day this week. 341 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And there were some other foods in his TikTok and stuff, like hard boiled eggs 342 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and avocado and stuff that I'll sprinkle in here and there. 343 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And also, god, real quick. I gotta say, love the energy Brandon's YouTube profile 344 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 picture is giving off, I love it dude. It looks like I'm seeing him through a 345 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 peephole. And obviously another pinnacle of 346 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 anti-aging is exercise. Brandon starts his day with a 10 minute 347 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 stretch, and this next part's gonna be pretty hard, but Brandon aims to hit 348 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 20,000 steps a day. 349 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "I've been trying to reach for 20,000 steps-" 350 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 That's a lot of steps, ok? Especially to a guy who has mastered the art of parking 351 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 it, but Brandon actually uses this little treadmill, this like walking pad while he 352 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 works and stuff, so I went ahead and ordered that same treadmill because 353 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I can't possibly think of another way to get 20,000 steps in a day. 354 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Especially during the summertime. 355 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Brandon then does some weightlifting with some 12-pound weights 356 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and that'll be no problem. 357 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And that's his daily workout routine. Seems pretty low impact, which is nice. 358 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But compared to my usual workout routine that consists of 20 reps of hanging out 359 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 followed by three sets of chilling, this is gonna be a big change for me. 360 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Uh, yeah. The only push up I do is push up on the D-pad, cause I'm a freaking gamer. 361 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I paused my game to be here. 362 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 You know I can eat and exercise all I want but if I don't look the part then 363 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 what am I doing? So I'm gonna order some UPF 50 clothing as well. 364 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And wow, look at these. Holy crap, these are ugly. 365 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 They're not ugly, sorry. They're just not what I would wear. 366 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's like, there's not even one ironic vintage graphic t-shirt on here 367 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 what the fuck? 368 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And I guess it's nice that these clothes protect you from the sun, but it doesn't 369 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 say anything about protecting you from insults. So I'm pretty nervous about that. 370 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But I'm gonna give these a genuine try. So I'm gonna order some of these. 371 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And last but not least, Brandon made a video going through some tips and tricks 372 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 about anti-aging that nobody really talks about. 373 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "So whenever I am, like, cooking a meal and I'm baking and I'm using the oven, 374 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I will be very very hesitant to just reach my hand in there with just a mitten." 375 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Damn, your skin can't even get warm? What the fuck? That's not real. 376 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "People who bake things for a living have more aged skin on their dominant hand 377 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 the hand that they use for putting things in the oven and pulling things out." 378 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Also the example he uses... 379 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 He says people who work in kitchens age poorly? 380 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 That might be true, but I can guarantee you that's not because of the heat. 381 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I've worked in restaurants before, ok? If it's not the cigarettes, booze and 382 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 sniff 383 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 that ages them poorly, it's the unnecessary amount of stress they put 384 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 themselves through. 385 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 'Ugh I'm so mad, the restaurant I work at that sells food is selling too much food. 386 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I gotta yell at Curtis and get more hand tattoos about this.' 387 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Sorry to all the line cooks and stuff out there but I think that's just personal 388 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 work trauma I'm working through that- nothing on you guys. 389 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "Tip number two, flying in airplanes, I always choose a window seat so that 390 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I can control when the window is up and down because when you're in higher 391 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 altitudes, UV- UVA in particular is strongest at those highest altitudes-" 392 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Yeah I guess that makes sense, but like a couple hours of sunlight isn't gonna 393 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 fucking kill you. Well actually, I don't know. It might kill him. 394 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I don't know. 395 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 As you get on a flight, you're in the window seat, sitting next to you is 396 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Brandon Skincare, you look over, you open the window, sun shines through and then 397 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 you look back at Brandon and there's just a pile of ash there. 398 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "Tip number three is wearing white clothing. The sun comes down and reflects 399 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 UV off of that white significantly more so than any other colour." 400 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Alright, this is terrible news for me because I actually really love wearing 401 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 white t-shirts, that's my favourite thing to wear because I got this cool thing 402 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 called dandruff. So when I wear black my shoulders kind of look like a fuckin' 403 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Charli XCX concert. But who knows? Maybe all this healthy eating I do this week 404 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 will somehow cure my dandruff. 405 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "When you have bright lights on at night, like just everywhere in your house and 406 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 you're watching TV and you're on your phone and you're on your devices 407 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 this blue light and this visible light is stimulating your serotonin levels when 408 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 it's not supposed to be stimulated, and your circadian rhythm is getting all out 409 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 of whack." 410 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Got, this is also gonna be a huge change. Like I'm playing video games and working 411 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 until like 1AM fuckin' like every night. 412 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Literally the lonely stoner seems to free his mind at night, I don't know if he's 413 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 heard that before. But now Brandon's saying no bright lights 414 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 at night? That ain't right! 415 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "And also socialising and connecting with others is really really important." 416 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Okay, so I gotta hang out with my friends and my wife this week. 417 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I think I can make that happen. 418 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "Maintaining an overall positive attitude just overall can be connected to these 419 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 things, you know relaxation and reducing negativity. Negativity is a powerful 420 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 detriment to your anti-aging goals. A lot of people who are just negative 421 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 overall tend to have a reduced life span and just more health issues overall, 422 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 tends to be a correlation there, an association." 423 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 That's dumb. That's stupid. 424 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Fuck dude, being negative shortens your life? Nice knowing you guys! 425 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Jesus Christ dude. 426 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "And number 10 tip is basically not drinking alcohol-" 427 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Okay. Come on, man. 428 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 How you gonna tell me to be social but not have any alcohol? 429 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Yeah, great thing for anti-aging is to go skydiving but don't wear a parachute! 430 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Maybe he's just talking about hard liquor, right? 431 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 'I'm sure he's not meaning 100 million beers, right friend?' 432 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "I just don't drink personally because I know that there's really no benefit to 433 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 alcohol." 434 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 No benefits to alcohol? Okay, you tell that to my hands that I'm not sure what to 435 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 do with at a concert. 436 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Alright, I think we've got a firm understanding of what my anti-aging week 437 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 is gonna look like, but I think before I dive into the shallow end and break my 438 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 neck, I need one final day of getting all the fun shit I like doing out of my system 439 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I got a haircut. 440 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 So I had my quarterly pizza the night before my week of anti-aging 441 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and with a chest full of heartburn I stared at my computer screen for the 442 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 rest of the night. I've been really busy getting ready for tour and everything 443 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and I knew I wasn't gonna have that much time to do it this week, so I had to get 444 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 as much done as I possibly could. 445 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 That being said, I also played some video games. 446 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 If you're wondering what video game I was playing, then you're in luck. 447 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Because it's time to talk about the sponsor of this week's video 448 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Zenless Zone Zero. 449 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Zenless Zone Zero is a brand new, free to play, action role-playing game set in a 450 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 stylish urban fantasy world that's available to plat on PC, PS5 and on mobile 451 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Zenless Zone Zero is also published by Hoyoverse, the makers of Genshin Impact. 452 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 So you already know that this game is a certified banger. 453 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I've been plating Zenless Zone Zero, or ZZZ, for the past few days and I 454 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 absolutely love it. In ZZZ, you take on the role of Proxy and embark on a 455 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 thrilling adventure with a diverse group of partners to defeat enemies and unravel 456 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 mysteries in the uniquely designed city of New Eridu. And I'm completely obsessed 457 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 with the art style, music, voice acting and animations 458 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 but my favourite part of ZZZ is its fluid combat system that's simple enough for 459 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 newcomers but diverse enough to provide a challenge for experienced players. 460 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And with so many playable characters combat is always fresh and exciting. 461 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And speaking of playable characters, I gotta tell you about the game's newest 462 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 character coming with the 1.1 update: Jane Doe. 463 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 She's a physical anomaly character who specialises in rapid attacks to take down 464 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 her enemies and that's pretty much the playstyle I use in like every RPG I play 465 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 so I'm super excited to add Jane Doe to my team in Zenless Zone Zero. 466 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 So if you've been itching to jump into a new game with a vibrant art style 467 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 a compelling story, intriguing characters and rewarding, impactful combat 468 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 then look no further than Zenless Zone Zero. 469 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And like I said earlier it's completely free to play and it's available on PC, PS5 470 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and mobile, so what are you waiting for? Click my link in the description and 471 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 experience the excitement of Zenless Zone Zero for yourself. 472 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Thank you so much to Zenless Zone Zero for sponsoring this video, back to me. 473 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And I stared at the screen until my eyes popped out of my skull, freakin' gamer 474 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 style. And oh yeah, I also had a beer because I wasn't gonna be able to have any 475 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 this week, so I enjoyed the hell out of this thing. burp 476 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 That beer was almost as nice as Donkey Kong's ass. 477 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 That was epic, now let's get young. 478 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I bought a bunch of shit. 479 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Uhh, I forget how much everything was I think it was like $400 for everything. 480 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Never mind, I was wrong. It was like $470 so pretty much like 500 bucks. Insane. 481 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Oh no, sorry, plus the groceries. We got everything from Whole Foods 482 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 because where Brandon buys everything and uh, that place is pretty pricey, I'll 483 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 say that. I think they call it Whole Foods because they put a hole in my wallet. 484 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Let's go through what I purchased. First up, this big thing right behind me 485 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 right here clang 486 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 That's the uh, my walking thing, my treadmill, my little walking pad. 487 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I'm gonna set it up down here in my recently flooded basement, uh 488 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 it's super empty right now. This will be my walking zone for the next 489 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 week. Just an empty, white... 'a bitch.' 490 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Let's go through what I got. So this is the, oh, this is like a little 491 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I don't even fuckin' know what I bought. But this is like a band and you can wear 492 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 it as so many other things. A wristband, aliceband, blindfuld? 493 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Yeah, good idea. Just walk around like that all day? 494 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Scrunchie, headband, hatliner, cap, durag, oooooh 495 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Am I gonna get away? 496 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Pirate 'arrr!' 497 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Sunguard, face mask, hood, balaclava. So I bought like 16 things in one dude. 498 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And it's completely U... UFP... UPF 50. UPF Chang's. 499 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 So I should be good to go there. 500 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Oh yeah, I forgot to say this when I was recording, but everything I saw on here 501 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 was on Brandon's like Amazon storefront a lot of the stuff wasn't available on 502 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Canadian Amazon so I had to like, find some alternatives, but most of it was from 503 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Brandon's Amazon page. 504 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 'It's a black square!' 505 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Okay, and then I've got some blue light blocking glasses, Gy Snail. 506 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Gy Snail Ohhhh yeah. 507 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 How do I look? Wow. Everything looks like it's covered in piss 508 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 that's pretty cool. Alright next up are my supplements, I got this probiotic, I also 509 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 got this borage oil? Boraj? Borat? 510 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 'I got this Borat oil, my wife.' 511 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Essential fatty acids, this thing just called me a fatty. 512 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And then I got this uh, Super EFA! This is something else, this is 513 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Madagascar Centella Ampoule. Am... am-pool, am-pool. 514 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I don't know what it does, but I do like the movie Madagascar, so if it's anything 515 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 like that I think I'm fucking set. I also got these Vital Proteins. 516 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 One single ingredient. *All the single ingredients, all the 517 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 single ingredients 518 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Last but not least, we got some food. I got sunflower seeds, black sesame seeds 519 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 chia, cacao nibs, cocoa powder, cannellini beans, some kelp? 520 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Spongebob Squarepants-ass food. 521 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And then I got some 100% Hundo. Dark chocolate. 522 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Unsweetened almond milk for my smoothies and my hot chocolate. 523 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I got these red peppers, I got these red onions, sweet potatoes, broccoli, spinach 524 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 uh and some salad mix for like, the salad. And that's pretty much it. 525 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 By the end of this video, I am gonna be a foetus. 526 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I got eight hours of sleep my first day which was really nice but my dog woke me 527 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 up really early because he had to piss and shit. awww 528 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 So I took him piss and shit and then I immediately made myself an anti-aging 529 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 coffee. And yes, that's the same as a regular coffee but I was just manifesting 530 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 that it was gonna make me younger. 531 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Yeah, so I wanted to use a glass mug to like, prove to you guys that I actually 532 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 was drinking black coffee, but the only see-through mug I have is this Instagram 533 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 one that I stole from my old office job. And it's probably the cheugiest thing I 534 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 own so, apologies for that. 535 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But first, coffee. 536 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Like I said earlier in the video, the first thing I wanna do when I wake up is 537 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 eat food, and usually I'd make like a breakfast sandwich or a burrito or toast 538 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 or a bagel you know, something with bread. But today I had to make a Brandon Miles 539 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 May green smoothie. And now that I'm thinking about it, 540 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 if Brandon Miles May was really all about that anti-aging lifestyle, you know if he 541 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 really cared about freakin' rewinding the clock, his name would be 542 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Brandon Miles April. 543 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 So I put a bunch of spinach, a carrot, almond milk, water, an avocado, 544 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 oh that looks like what my dog did this morning. 545 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I put in some chia seeds, this collagen peptides powder that I smelled way too 546 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 hard so I got some up my nose, and then I put in a banana, some black 547 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 sesame seeds and some ice. And then I blended it all up. 548 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Yeah, if you weren't hungry before watching this video, sorry. 549 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 You definitely are now. You're probably drooling like crazy right 550 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 now, it's fucking disgusting. 551 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But I was so excited to drink this smoothie guys, it kind of looks like the 552 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 shit that the plant dad tried to feed his kids in that one Goosebumps episode 553 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Stay Out of the Basement. And I've always wanted to try that, so 554 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 this was pretty cool. But after all the hard work, breakfast was 555 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 served. I ain't never seen two pretty best friends. 556 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And oh yeah, I also prepped some containers so I can just add milk and 557 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 water and blend them up to save some time going forward. 558 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Alright, good morning on the first day of me becoming a little baby. 559 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I have my smoothie here, I have pretty much every single ingredient under the sun 560 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Down the hatch! 561 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 slurping noises 562 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's great. 563 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's just spinach I taste because that's all I put in there but- 564 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Emememe 565 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 That was me being Popeye. I wanna be Popeye. 566 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But hey, if I don't like the flavour, at least I have this nice black coffee to 567 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 wash it all down with. I'm just gonna hang out here and... 568 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and drink this. And real quick, I'm making it seem like 569 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I'm a really picky eater, but I promise you I'm not. I eat a lot of food, I love 570 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 all food pretty much, uh, except for cilantro. I have the gene that makes it 571 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 taste like soap to me, so anytime I accidentally eat cilantro it tastes like 572 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I'm being punished for like saying a swear word. 573 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But honestly, I think putting a legit bar of soap into this blunder would've made it 574 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 taste a lot better. Because this fucking green smoothie, it tasted like cement bro. 575 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It took me so long to fucking drink it. 576 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Sorry I'm being negative and that ages you 577 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 'The smoothie was so good!' 578 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Okay I've been filming this about half- 35 minutes. A half hour. 579 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 So it's taking me a half hour to drink all this. I got one final... slurp. 580 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But after some hard work and determination I finally finished the smoothie. 581 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Never felt so young in my life 582 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Except uh... that's a half hour I'll never fucking get back. 583 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Brandon said in his videos that it's always good to rest after eating your 584 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 breakfast because it helps with digestion. And I was like 'that's fuckin' stupid, why 585 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 would you need to rest after it?' But after doing that, I get it. 586 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 That was the most mentally strenuous thing I've had to do, was get through this 587 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 fucking thing, so good night! snore 588 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Instantly fall asleep. 589 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 'I finally rest and watch the sun rise on a grateful universe.' 590 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Also woah, I just realised the walls of my living room are the exact same colour as 591 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 the smoothie I had. Or maybe they aren't, I'm just hallucinating. 592 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Now it's time for my stretches! Oh yeah 593 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I followed along with Brandon's video and you know what, I will say these actually 594 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 felt pretty nice. Whether or not doing these stretches actually makes me look 595 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 younger, I do wanna try to incorporate this into my everyday life going forward 596 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 because it felt great. You can quote me on this, there's nothing better than getting 597 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 stretched out. 598 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I especially loved this stretch. I kinda look like a cat who's about to puke. 599 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I stretched for about 10 minutes and oh yeah, one of the stretches reminded me 600 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 of my karate lessons I took 20 years ago so that was also pretty fun. 601 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Okay so, first morning routine is pretty much done. 602 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Yeah, I don't know if this is because of the smoothie or the stretching but 603 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 you know what? I do feel a bit more energised than I usually do. 604 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Then again that could be like a placebo effect. But no, this guy doesn't really 605 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 have sugar, so I guess placebo wouldn't really exist. 606 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Uh, I do have some work that I gotta get done and then I guess I'm gonna start 607 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 getting my steps in. But yeah, so far so good, I think. 608 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 How do I look? I feel like I look older because I haven't shaved yet. 609 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The more hair you have, the older you look 610 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And after I finished some work I went down to the basement because it was treadmill 611 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 time, brother. 612 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Alright, I'm in the basement again. Time to unbox this uh, fucking little 613 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 walking pad as they call it. 614 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 How many steps am I at right now? It is currently 12:27, I'm at 2,000 steps 615 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 so I need 18,000 more so... 616 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Yeah, it's a lot. 617 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I started unboxing my walking pad and this thing was 618 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 'fully loaded with tons of cool stuff!' 619 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 An L-key, yes! 620 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It also came with this remote control and it also came with this. 621 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Okay so it came with lubri- lubricant oil? Why'd they give me lube? 622 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 How you gonna give me lube, and also put something that says 'warm tips'? 623 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And I really thought this walking pad was gonna be a huge game changer for me 624 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 because I can get my steps in without the sun ever touching my skin and just ruining 625 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 my life. But I forgot that one of the best parts of walking outside is like, looking 626 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 around at shit. Seeing a bird crap on the ground, seeing a squirrel have sex. 627 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 'Oh, cool shit!' 628 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 So like, after 10 seconds on the walking pad, I was like immediately bored out of 629 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 my mind. The future is now. You get all the joy of walking outside without the 630 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 nice warmth from the sun. So... I just gotta do this for like an hour. 631 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Ok, I can definitely see why people have these with like a standing desk because 632 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 this is kind of just like, you're not really exerting too much energy and you 633 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 can still sort of like do something. But I'm really bored right now. 634 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Maybe I'll read, maybe I'll read a book while I do this or something. 635 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 That'd be pretty cool.