0:00:06.631,0:00:09.863
Have you ever talked with a friend[br]about a problem only to realize

0:00:09.863,0:00:14.540
that he just doesn't seem to grasp[br]why the issue is so important to you?

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Have you ever presented an idea to[br]a group and it's met with utter confusion?

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Or maybe you've been in an argument[br]

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when the other person suddenly accuses you

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of not listening [br]to what they're saying at all?

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What's going on here?

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The answer is miscommunication,

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and in some form or another,

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we've all experienced it.

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It can lead to confusion,

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animosity,

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misunderstanding,

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or even crashing a multimillion[br]dollar probe into the surface of Mars.

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The fact is even when face-to-face[br]with another person,

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in the very same room,

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and speaking the same language,

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human communication is incredibly complex.

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But the good news is [br]that a basic understanding

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of what happens when we communicate

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can help us prevent miscommunication.

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For decades, researchers have asked,[br]"What happens when we communicate?"

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One interpretation,[br]called the transmission model,

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views communication as a message that[br]moves directly from one person to another,

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similar to someone tossing a ball[br]and walking away.

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But in reality,

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this simplistic model doesn't account[br]for communication's complexity.

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Enter the transactional model,

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which acknowledges the many [br]added challenges of communicating.

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With this model, it's more accurate[br]to think of communication between people

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as a game of catch.

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As we communicate our message,[br]we receive feedback from the other party.

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Through the transaction,[br]we create meaning together.

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But from this exchange,[br]further complications arise.

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It's not like the Star Trek universe,

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where some characters [br]can Vulcan mind meld,

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fully sharing thoughts and feelings.

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As humans, we can't help but send[br]and receive messages

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through our own subjective lenses.

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When communicating, one person expresses[br]her interpretation of a message,

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and the person she's communicating with

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hears his own interpretation [br]of that message.

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Our perceptual filters continually shift[br]meanings and interpretations.

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Remember that game of catch?

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Imagine it with a lump of clay.

0:02:13.722,0:02:15.529
As each person touches it,

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they shape it to fit [br]their own unique perceptions

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based on any number of variables,

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like knowledge or past experience, [br]age, race, gender,

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ethnicity, religion, or family background.

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Simultaneously, every person interprets[br]the message they receive

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based on their relationship [br]with the other person,

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and their unique understanding

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of the semantics and connotations [br]of the exact words being used.

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They could also be distracted[br]by other stimuli,

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such as traffic

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or a growling stomach.

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Even emotion might cloud [br]their understanding,

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and by adding more people[br]into a conversation,

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each with their own subjectivities,

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the complexity of communication[br]grows exponentially.

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So as the lump of clay goes back and forth[br]from one person to another,

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reworked, reshaped, and always changing,

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it's no wonder our messages sometimes[br]turn into a mush of miscommunication.

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But, luckily, there are some [br]simple practices

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that can help us all navigate our daily[br]interactions for better communication.

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One:

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recognize that passive hearing[br]and active listening are not the same.

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Engage actively with the verbal[br]and nonverbal feedback of others,

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and adjust your message to facilitate[br]greater understanding.

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Two:

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listen with your eyes and ears,[br]as well as with your gut.

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Remember that communication [br]is more than just words.

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Three:

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take time to understand as you try[br]to be understood.

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In the rush to express ourselves,

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it's easy to forget that communication[br]is a two-way street.

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Be open to what [br]the other person might say.

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And finally, four:

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Be aware of your personal [br]perceptual filters.

0:03:57.849,0:03:59.402
Elements of your experience,

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including your culture, [br]community, and family,

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influence how you see the world.

0:04:04.451,0:04:07.968
Say, "This is how I see the problem,[br]but how do you see it?"

0:04:07.968,0:04:11.385
Don't assume that your perception[br]is the objective truth.

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That'll help you work toward sharing[br]a dialogue with others

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to reach a common understanding together.