0:00:06.673,0:00:08.407
When I turned 17,

0:00:08.407,0:00:12.358
I went to the doctor because things[br]weren't developing normally.

0:00:12.358,0:00:16.567
I still hadn't started my period.[br]I still didn't have boobs.

0:00:16.567,0:00:18.636
I was referred up [br]the chain of specialists,

0:00:18.636,0:00:21.577
and we set out to find[br]what was wrong with me.

0:00:21.577,0:00:24.177
This was the first time,[br]in a medical setting,

0:00:24.177,0:00:27.415
that I felt like a thing to be fixed.

0:00:29.468,0:00:35.030
The doctors ordered some tests,[br]and when they got the results back,

0:00:35.030,0:00:38.882
they said, "Well, we didn't expect that!",

0:00:39.532,0:00:41.852
which I think is very next to "oops"

0:00:41.852,0:00:45.734
on the list of things you don't want[br]to hear in the doctor's office.

0:00:45.734,0:00:47.731
(Laughter)

0:00:47.731,0:00:50.263
A quick biology refresher for you:

0:00:50.263,0:00:55.632
women have two X chromosomes[br]and men have an X and a Y, right?

0:00:55.632,0:00:58.059
Well, usually.

0:00:58.683,0:01:02.165
The doctors were confused because,[br]when my chromosome analysis came back,

0:01:02.165,0:01:04.503
I had an X and a Y,

0:01:04.503,0:01:07.496
which is typically associated[br]with being male.

0:01:08.033,0:01:12.648
I was intersex,[br]somewhere between the sexes.

0:01:14.134,0:01:18.005
Intersex people have some combination[br]of both male and female,

0:01:18.005,0:01:23.669
whether that's in their external anatomy,[br]their internal reproductive organs,

0:01:24.309,0:01:27.275
their hormone levels, or their DNA.

0:01:27.765,0:01:29.497
Intersex also includes people

0:01:29.497,0:01:34.022
who don't have any particular aspect[br]of the opposite sex,

0:01:34.022,0:01:39.348
but their anatomy just isn't quite typical[br]for what you would expect.

0:01:39.348,0:01:42.945
Being intersex is not the same[br]as being transgender.

0:01:42.945,0:01:48.758
Transgender people typically have bodies[br]that correspond entirely to one sex.

0:01:48.758,0:01:52.547
While it is possible to be[br]both intersex and transgender,

0:01:52.547,0:01:56.014
the majority of each group[br]is either one or the other.

0:01:56.466,0:01:59.419
People find out that they're[br]intersex in a few ways.

0:02:00.489,0:02:01.919
Some people find out -

0:02:01.919,0:02:05.078
well, their parents and their doctors[br]find out when they're babies,

0:02:05.078,0:02:08.718
and they notice that their anatomy[br]just isn't quite typical.

0:02:08.718,0:02:10.548
Other people find out during puberty,

0:02:10.548,0:02:13.310
when puberty goes in ways[br]that they didn't expect,

0:02:13.310,0:02:17.093
or, as in my case, when puberty[br]just doesn't happen at all.

0:02:17.093,0:02:21.609
So, once we knew "what was wrong with me,"

0:02:21.609,0:02:24.609
it became a thing to be fixed.

0:02:24.609,0:02:26.570
We had our game plan.

0:02:26.570,0:02:30.581
I had streak gonads,[br]tiny little streaks of tissue

0:02:30.581,0:02:33.409
that would normally have developed[br]into ovaries in women

0:02:33.409,0:02:37.849
or testes in men, but in me,[br]never developed into anything.

0:02:37.849,0:02:40.200
Those might be cancerous,

0:02:40.200,0:02:44.172
so I would have to have[br]surgery to remove them.

0:02:45.051,0:02:47.811
If they were cancerous[br]and the cancer had spread,

0:02:47.811,0:02:51.365
then I might need more surgery,[br]and maybe chemo,

0:02:51.365,0:02:53.471
and maybe an oncology team.

0:02:53.851,0:02:57.204
During surgery, we would also evaluate[br]what female anatomy I had

0:02:57.204,0:02:59.178
and whether it was all hooked up.

0:02:59.178,0:03:03.053
If I had a uterus, we needed to know[br]that it wasn't often its own little world,

0:03:03.053,0:03:06.623
because hormone replacement therapy[br]could stimulate a period

0:03:06.623,0:03:09.140
and the blood would have nowhere to go.

0:03:09.140,0:03:13.053
At the end of the day,[br]a few prognoses were tossed out.

0:03:13.053,0:03:15.042
I would probably never be pregnant.

0:03:15.042,0:03:17.363
I might never have a normal sex life.

0:03:17.363,0:03:19.870
And by the time all[br]of the diagnostics were done,

0:03:19.870,0:03:21.742
I would be 18.

0:03:21.742,0:03:25.224
Now, I know that starting[br]puberty was really high

0:03:25.224,0:03:28.213
on everyone's list of things to do[br]when they turned 18 -

0:03:28.213,0:03:30.447
(Laughter)

0:03:31.577,0:03:35.165
but I'm happy to report[br]that everything turned out well,

0:03:35.165,0:03:38.615
including my moderately[br]awkward freshman year of college.

0:03:38.615,0:03:40.146
(Laughter)

0:03:40.146,0:03:41.771
I didn't have cancer,

0:03:41.771,0:03:44.880
I can probably be pregnant[br]with the help of an egg donor,

0:03:44.880,0:03:47.994
and my sex life is none of your business.

0:03:47.994,0:03:50.178
(Laughter)

0:03:50.178,0:03:53.104
(Cheers) (Applause)

0:03:56.355,0:03:59.819
Our game plan had gone perfectly.

0:04:00.279,0:04:04.175
According to any[br]medical standard, I was fixed,

0:04:04.755,0:04:08.266
but fixing is different than healing,

0:04:08.687,0:04:11.812
and healing rarely comes with a road map.

0:04:12.956,0:04:15.875
I think it's indicative[br]of a fixing mentality

0:04:15.875,0:04:19.397
that I was never referred to counseling,

0:04:19.397,0:04:22.047
I was never referred to group counseling,

0:04:22.047,0:04:25.977
and it was never suggested[br]that I could meet people like me.

0:04:27.137,0:04:31.348
Imagine being told at 17[br]that you have red hair.

0:04:31.348,0:04:35.678
And you're like, [br]"Red hair... what's that?"

0:04:36.198,0:04:38.839
That sounds ridiculous,

0:04:38.839,0:04:42.180
but at 1% to 2% [br]of the population worldwide,

0:04:42.180,0:04:45.789
being intersex is about as common[br]as having red hair.

0:04:46.347,0:04:50.022
In the United States,[br]it's also about as common as being Jewish.

0:04:51.149,0:04:53.589
So, where are we?

0:04:53.589,0:04:58.570
And how have so many people[br]never heard of us?

0:04:58.570,0:05:03.720
It still astonishes me that, in several[br]years of being out as an intersex person,

0:05:03.720,0:05:10.630
I have never met another intersex person[br]naturally, on the street, in the wild -

0:05:10.630,0:05:12.935
(Laughter)

0:05:13.921,0:05:17.202
Even in the LGBT community,[br]nobody's ever said,

0:05:17.202,0:05:21.324
"Oh, yeah, me too!",[br]or "My sister is," "My friend is."

0:05:21.960,0:05:25.252
In our personal,[br]professional and public lives,

0:05:25.252,0:05:27.974
we are deep underground.

0:05:27.974,0:05:31.282
We've been ashamed of it,[br]so we don't talk about it.

0:05:31.282,0:05:35.085
So, we become ashamed of it,[br]and the cycle continues.

0:05:36.132,0:05:39.182
But we can't be invisible anymore.

0:05:39.732,0:05:43.830
We need to be seen and we need you[br]to know that we exist

0:05:43.830,0:05:46.990
because, otherwise,[br]the next generation of intersex kids

0:05:46.990,0:05:50.883
is going to grow up just as confused[br]and ashamed as we did.

0:05:51.355,0:05:52.842
We need people to know

0:05:52.842,0:05:57.124
that, if intersex people are 1%[br]of every population,

0:05:57.124,0:06:01.685
then there may be five[br]intersex Fortune 500 CEOs,

0:06:01.685,0:06:04.779
there may be five[br]intersex members of Congress,

0:06:04.779,0:06:09.516
there may be three[br]intersex United States astronauts,

0:06:09.516,0:06:14.845
and there may be four intersex kids[br]in the average US elementary school.

0:06:15.335,0:06:18.346
We need to be seen[br]and we need everyone's voices

0:06:18.346,0:06:23.026
because the consequences[br]of us not being seen are dire.

0:06:23.806,0:06:26.475
Across the United States[br]and around the world,

0:06:26.475,0:06:32.106
intersex babies have been subjected[br]to what's been called genital mutilation.

0:06:32.956,0:06:37.086
I worry that that term[br]stigmatizes intersex people,

0:06:37.086,0:06:40.666
but I do think it can base[br]the gravity of the situation.

0:06:41.707,0:06:45.696
Intersex babies are being subjected[br]to surgery that is cosmetic

0:06:45.696,0:06:47.348
and medically not necessary,

0:06:47.348,0:06:50.857
and is designed to make their genitals[br]appear more normal.

0:06:51.477,0:06:54.378
These surgeries carry risks of scarring,

0:06:54.378,0:06:58.326
loss of sensation,[br]and sexual difficulties later on.

0:06:59.899,0:07:03.402
What's really surprising[br]is that relatively minor abnormalities

0:07:03.402,0:07:05.939
can bring infants under the knife.

0:07:06.729,0:07:08.865
In a condition called hypospadias,

0:07:08.865,0:07:12.629
a boy's penis has an under opening,[br]instead of a tip opening.

0:07:12.629,0:07:15.081
The term comes from the Greek[br]"hypo" for "under,"

0:07:15.081,0:07:17.461
and "spadia" for "opening."

0:07:18.369,0:07:19.807
Instead of being at the tip,

0:07:19.807,0:07:22.250
the urethra is on the[br]underside of the penis,

0:07:22.250,0:07:24.064
somewhere lower down.

0:07:24.570,0:07:26.720
These boys generally have[br]a functioning penis,

0:07:26.720,0:07:29.548
so why are they being [br]subjected to surgery?

0:07:29.548,0:07:35.417
Well, so that, when they are older,[br]they can stand while peeing;

0:07:35.929,0:07:37.901
so that their penis doesn't look weird.

0:07:37.901,0:07:41.551
Imagine a set of parents[br]seeing their new baby and saying,

0:07:41.551,0:07:43.931
"Those ears have got to go."

0:07:44.873,0:07:48.563
The doctors would look at them[br]like they were nuts,

0:07:48.563,0:07:51.722
but, for some reason, when[br]the abnormality is in a baby's genitals,

0:07:51.722,0:07:54.333
surgery seems like the only option.

0:07:55.292,0:08:00.273
Hypospadias affects 1 in 200 boys,[br]which makes it relatively common.

0:08:00.273,0:08:04.313
Even so, we don't have good data[br]on the number of procedures performed.

0:08:04.313,0:08:05.852
We also don't have good data

0:08:05.852,0:08:09.004
on the success or failure rates[br]of these surgeries.

0:08:09.004,0:08:14.116
Failure rates seem to range[br]between 4% and 67%,

0:08:14.116,0:08:17.125
depending on the type[br]of procedure performed

0:08:17.125,0:08:19.868
and the type of surgeon[br]performing the surgery.

0:08:20.404,0:08:22.575
That's a huge range.

0:08:23.245,0:08:28.394
I would argue that any risk is too great[br]when the procedure is purely cosmetic

0:08:28.394,0:08:32.295
and the child is too young to participate[br]in the decision-making,

0:08:32.295,0:08:35.575
especially because failure[br]means more surgery.

0:08:35.575,0:08:39.045
Kids have ended up[br]having 10, 20, 25 surgeries

0:08:39.045,0:08:41.107
to correct what went wrong [br]in the first one

0:08:41.107,0:08:43.441
and in subsequent surgeries.

0:08:44.856,0:08:48.348
They've ended up spending spring break[br]and summer at home, recuperating,

0:08:48.348,0:08:50.793
instead of having fun with their friends.

0:08:51.506,0:08:53.357
And for what?

0:08:54.626,0:08:57.877
I honestly believe[br]that parents and physicians

0:08:57.877,0:09:00.778
want to to do right by these kids.

0:09:00.778,0:09:05.146
It's impossible to know[br]the particulars of every case,

0:09:05.146,0:09:08.459
but I do know the physics of judgement.

0:09:08.459,0:09:12.796
I know that, when we're treating[br]other people as things to be fixed,

0:09:12.796,0:09:15.918
we're probably treating[br]ourselves the same way.

0:09:15.918,0:09:17.887
When we think that we're not good enough,

0:09:17.887,0:09:20.078
we think that other people[br]aren't good enough,

0:09:20.078,0:09:22.140
and then we start thinking[br]that other people

0:09:22.140,0:09:24.168
see other people as not good enough.

0:09:24.168,0:09:30.549
And that spirals into worries of people[br]seeing this child as not good enough,

0:09:30.549,0:09:33.779
wondering if this kid will be teased,

0:09:33.779,0:09:37.528
wondering what will happen[br]a baby-sitter changes their diaper,

0:09:38.628,0:09:41.728
wondering what will happen[br]when a colleague notices

0:09:41.728,0:09:43.358
that this man pees sitting down

0:09:43.358,0:09:46.389
or when a partner sees[br]this woman's slightly enlarged clitoris

0:09:46.389,0:09:48.058
for the first time.

0:09:48.946,0:09:51.550
These fears are real,

0:09:51.550,0:09:54.700
and I have faced similar ones[br]in my own life,

0:09:55.661,0:09:58.060
but we are miracles,

0:09:58.060,0:10:00.560
made up of particles smaller[br]than we can conceive of,

0:10:00.560,0:10:03.206
from stars larger[br]than we can possibly imagine,

0:10:03.206,0:10:05.571
and we don't have to get caught up

0:10:05.571,0:10:08.178
in the in-between spaces[br]of inches and pounds.

0:10:08.178,0:10:11.582
We can remember that all of us,[br]male, female, intersex,

0:10:11.582,0:10:13.451
are not things to be fixed.

0:10:13.451,0:10:15.620
We are people to be loved.

0:10:16.253,0:10:19.263
And if you believe[br]that you're a person to be loved

0:10:19.263,0:10:21.494
and treat yourself[br]with kindness and patience,

0:10:21.494,0:10:23.903
then you'll treat[br]other people the same way.

0:10:23.903,0:10:26.284
And that's what[br]intersex people really need,

0:10:26.284,0:10:30.016
because decisions about our bodies[br]are being made by people like you.

0:10:30.016,0:10:31.284
Thank you.

0:10:31.284,0:10:33.663
(Cheers) (Applause)