1 00:00:01,030 --> 00:00:04,220 [Applause] 2 00:00:19,060 --> 00:00:22,550 [Applause] 3 00:00:22,550 --> 00:00:28,020 so I'm embarrassed that I have a career 4 00:00:28,020 --> 00:00:31,919 I talk about things like trust and 5 00:00:31,919 --> 00:00:34,230 cooperation and there should be no 6 00:00:34,230 --> 00:00:37,410 demand for my work but the fact of the 7 00:00:37,410 --> 00:00:39,540 matter is is there is demand for my work 8 00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:41,210 which means that there's an opportunity 9 00:00:41,210 --> 00:00:44,250 it means that trust and cooperation are 10 00:00:44,250 --> 00:00:46,650 not yet standard in our organizations 11 00:00:46,650 --> 00:00:48,180 and yet they should be and we know that 12 00:00:48,180 --> 00:00:49,769 which is why we're looking for ways to 13 00:00:49,769 --> 00:00:52,760 bring those things to our organizations 14 00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:54,570 so I thought I would do something a 15 00:00:54,570 --> 00:00:56,339 little different today you know when 16 00:00:56,339 --> 00:00:58,650 you're speaking to tens of thousands of 17 00:00:58,650 --> 00:01:00,390 people and you have the opportunity to 18 00:01:00,390 --> 00:01:02,549 share a message of course most rational 19 00:01:02,549 --> 00:01:03,989 people would say let's go with something 20 00:01:03,989 --> 00:01:06,060 I've talked about lots of times and I'm 21 00:01:06,060 --> 00:01:10,140 really good at but I'm not normal so I'm 22 00:01:10,140 --> 00:01:12,240 gonna do something completely new and I 23 00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:15,509 hope this works out there are two things 24 00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:16,920 that I think that great leaders need to 25 00:01:16,920 --> 00:01:20,280 have empathy and perspective and I think 26 00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:21,720 these things are very often forgotten 27 00:01:21,720 --> 00:01:24,359 leaders are so often so concerned about 28 00:01:24,359 --> 00:01:26,100 their status of their position and 29 00:01:26,100 --> 00:01:27,539 organization they actually forget their 30 00:01:27,539 --> 00:01:30,570 real job and the real job of a leader is 31 00:01:30,570 --> 00:01:33,030 not about being in charge it's about 32 00:01:33,030 --> 00:01:36,390 taking care of those in our charge and I 33 00:01:36,390 --> 00:01:38,130 don't think people realize this and I 34 00:01:38,130 --> 00:01:40,200 don't think people train for this when 35 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:43,049 we're junior our only responsibility is 36 00:01:43,049 --> 00:01:44,850 to be good at our jobs that's all we 37 00:01:44,850 --> 00:01:46,859 really have to do and some people 38 00:01:46,859 --> 00:01:49,399 actually go get advanced education and 39 00:01:49,399 --> 00:01:51,539 so that they can be really good at their 40 00:01:51,539 --> 00:01:53,579 jobs accountants or whatever right and 41 00:01:53,579 --> 00:01:55,979 you show up and you work hard and the 42 00:01:55,979 --> 00:01:58,409 company will give us tons and tons of 43 00:01:58,409 --> 00:02:00,630 training how to do our jobs they'll 44 00:02:00,630 --> 00:02:02,249 shows how to use the software they'll 45 00:02:02,249 --> 00:02:04,170 send us away for a few days to get 46 00:02:04,170 --> 00:02:06,240 trained in whatever it is that we're 47 00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:07,770 doing for the company and then they 48 00:02:07,770 --> 00:02:09,990 expect us to go be good at our jobs and 49 00:02:09,990 --> 00:02:11,850 that's what we do we work very hard and 50 00:02:11,850 --> 00:02:15,930 if you're good at your job they'll 51 00:02:15,930 --> 00:02:19,650 promote you and at some point you'll get 52 00:02:19,650 --> 00:02:21,120 promoted to position where we're now 53 00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:22,709 responsible for the people who do the 54 00:02:22,709 --> 00:02:25,230 job we used to do but nobody shows us 55 00:02:25,230 --> 00:02:27,330 how to do that and that's why we get 56 00:02:27,330 --> 00:02:29,489 managers and not leaders because the 57 00:02:29,489 --> 00:02:30,410 reason our managers 58 00:02:30,410 --> 00:02:31,760 micromanaging us is because they 59 00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:33,860 actually do know how to do the job 60 00:02:33,860 --> 00:02:35,510 better than us that's what got them 61 00:02:35,510 --> 00:02:39,110 promoted really what we have to do is go 62 00:02:39,110 --> 00:02:41,150 through a transition some people make it 63 00:02:41,150 --> 00:02:43,130 quickly some people make it slowly and 64 00:02:43,130 --> 00:02:44,390 unfortunately some people will never 65 00:02:44,390 --> 00:02:46,670 make that transition at all which is we 66 00:02:46,670 --> 00:02:48,110 have to go this through this transition 67 00:02:48,110 --> 00:02:50,120 of being responsible for the job and 68 00:02:50,120 --> 00:02:51,950 then turning it to somebody who's now 69 00:02:51,950 --> 00:02:53,930 responsible for the people who are 70 00:02:53,930 --> 00:02:56,180 responsible for the job and as I said 71 00:02:56,180 --> 00:02:57,680 before one of the great things that is 72 00:02:57,680 --> 00:03:00,050 lacking in most of our companies is that 73 00:03:00,050 --> 00:03:03,640 they are not teaching us how to lead and 74 00:03:03,640 --> 00:03:06,980 leadership is a skill like any other is 75 00:03:06,980 --> 00:03:10,160 a practice' balloon able skill and it is 76 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:11,720 something that you work on it's like a 77 00:03:11,720 --> 00:03:13,690 muscle if you practice it all the days 78 00:03:13,690 --> 00:03:15,710 you will get good at it and you will get 79 00:03:15,710 --> 00:03:17,600 to become a strong leader if you stop 80 00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:19,250 practicing you will become a weak leader 81 00:03:19,250 --> 00:03:22,760 like parenting everyone has the capacity 82 00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:25,910 to be a parent doesn't mean everybody 83 00:03:25,910 --> 00:03:28,010 wants to be a parent and doesn't mean 84 00:03:28,010 --> 00:03:29,590 everybody shouldn't be a parent 85 00:03:29,590 --> 00:03:32,480 leadership is the same we all have the 86 00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:35,180 capacity to be a leader doesn't mean 87 00:03:35,180 --> 00:03:37,010 everybody should be a leader and it 88 00:03:37,010 --> 00:03:38,330 doesn't mean everybody wants to be a 89 00:03:38,330 --> 00:03:40,850 leader and the reason is because it 90 00:03:40,850 --> 00:03:44,260 comes at great personal sacrifice 91 00:03:44,260 --> 00:03:47,090 remember you're not in charge you're 92 00:03:47,090 --> 00:03:49,330 responsible for those in your charge 93 00:03:49,330 --> 00:03:51,650 that means things like when everything 94 00:03:51,650 --> 00:03:53,180 goes right you have to give away all the 95 00:03:53,180 --> 00:03:54,800 credit and when everything goes wrong 96 00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:56,810 you have to take all the responsibility 97 00:03:56,810 --> 00:04:01,040 that sucks right it's things like 98 00:04:01,040 --> 00:04:03,290 staying late to show somebody what to do 99 00:04:03,290 --> 00:04:06,110 it's things like when something does 100 00:04:06,110 --> 00:04:08,120 actually break when something goes wrong 101 00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:10,130 instead of yelling and screaming and 102 00:04:10,130 --> 00:04:14,330 taking over you say try again when the 103 00:04:14,330 --> 00:04:16,040 overwhelming pressures are not on them 104 00:04:16,040 --> 00:04:19,370 the overwhelming pressures are on us at 105 00:04:19,370 --> 00:04:21,529 the end of the day great leaders are not 106 00:04:21,529 --> 00:04:23,060 responsible for the job they're 107 00:04:23,060 --> 00:04:24,230 responsible for the people who are 108 00:04:24,230 --> 00:04:26,180 responsible for the job they're not even 109 00:04:26,180 --> 00:04:28,340 responsible for the results I love 110 00:04:28,340 --> 00:04:30,200 talking to CEOs and say what's your 111 00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:31,820 priority and they put their hands on 112 00:04:31,820 --> 00:04:33,380 their hips old proud and say my priority 113 00:04:33,380 --> 00:04:35,419 is my customer I'm like really even talk 114 00:04:35,419 --> 00:04:38,350 to a customer in 15 years 115 00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:41,949 there's no CEO on the planet responsible 116 00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:43,539 for the customer they're just not 117 00:04:43,539 --> 00:04:45,969 they're responsible for the people who 118 00:04:45,969 --> 00:04:47,680 responsible for the people who 119 00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:49,779 responsible for the customer I'll tell 120 00:04:49,779 --> 00:04:51,729 you a true story a few months ago I 121 00:04:51,729 --> 00:04:55,719 stayed at the Four Seasons in Las Vegas 122 00:04:55,719 --> 00:05:00,039 it is a wonderful hotel and the reason 123 00:05:00,039 --> 00:05:01,539 it's a wonderful hotel is not because of 124 00:05:01,539 --> 00:05:04,569 the fancy beds any hotel can go and buy 125 00:05:04,569 --> 00:05:05,919 a fancy bed 126 00:05:05,919 --> 00:05:07,960 the reason it's a wonderful hotel is 127 00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:09,460 because of the people who work there 128 00:05:09,460 --> 00:05:11,319 if you walk past somebody at the Four 129 00:05:11,319 --> 00:05:12,789 Seasons than this and they say hello to 130 00:05:12,789 --> 00:05:14,529 you you get the feeling that they 131 00:05:14,529 --> 00:05:16,479 actually wanted to say hello to you it's 132 00:05:16,479 --> 00:05:17,710 not that somebody told them that you 133 00:05:17,710 --> 00:05:19,090 have to say hello to all the customers 134 00:05:19,090 --> 00:05:20,740 say hello to all the guests right you 135 00:05:20,740 --> 00:05:23,680 actually feel that they care now in 136 00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:27,250 their Lobby they have a coffee stand and 137 00:05:27,250 --> 00:05:29,289 I one afternoon I went to buy a cup of 138 00:05:29,289 --> 00:05:31,060 coffee and there was a barista by the 139 00:05:31,060 --> 00:05:33,659 name of Noah who was serving me Noah was 140 00:05:33,659 --> 00:05:37,779 fantastic he was friendly and fun and he 141 00:05:37,779 --> 00:05:39,639 was engaging with me and I had so much 142 00:05:39,639 --> 00:05:41,050 fun buying a cup of coffee I actually 143 00:05:41,050 --> 00:05:43,210 think I gave a hundred percent tip right 144 00:05:43,210 --> 00:05:46,150 he was wonderful so as is my nature I 145 00:05:46,150 --> 00:05:49,389 asked Noah do you like your job and 146 00:05:49,389 --> 00:05:51,759 without skipping a beat Noah says I love 147 00:05:51,759 --> 00:05:54,669 my job and so I followed up I said what 148 00:05:54,669 --> 00:05:56,409 is it that the four seasons is doing 149 00:05:56,409 --> 00:05:59,830 that would make you say to me I love my 150 00:05:59,830 --> 00:06:02,529 job and without skipping a beat Noah 151 00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:04,810 said throughout the day managers will 152 00:06:04,810 --> 00:06:07,300 walk past me and ask me how I'm doing if 153 00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:08,919 there's anything that I need to do my 154 00:06:08,919 --> 00:06:11,050 job better he said not just my manager 155 00:06:11,050 --> 00:06:14,379 any manager and then he said something 156 00:06:14,379 --> 00:06:18,460 magical he says I also work at Caesars 157 00:06:18,460 --> 00:06:20,889 Palace and Caesars at Caesar's Palace 158 00:06:20,889 --> 00:06:22,300 the managers are trying to make sure 159 00:06:22,300 --> 00:06:23,710 we're doing everything right they catch 160 00:06:23,710 --> 00:06:26,500 us when we do things wrong he says when 161 00:06:26,500 --> 00:06:28,060 I go to work there I like to keep my 162 00:06:28,060 --> 00:06:30,250 head under the radar and just get 163 00:06:30,250 --> 00:06:32,520 through the day so I can get my paycheck 164 00:06:32,520 --> 00:06:35,889 he says here at the Four Seasons I feel 165 00:06:35,889 --> 00:06:42,009 I can be myself same person entirely a 166 00:06:42,009 --> 00:06:44,560 different experience from the from the 167 00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:46,959 customer who will engage with Noah so we 168 00:06:46,959 --> 00:06:48,819 in leadership are always criticizing the 169 00:06:48,819 --> 00:06:50,529 people we're always saying we gotta get 170 00:06:50,529 --> 00:06:51,260 the right people 171 00:06:51,260 --> 00:06:53,240 I've got to film I run my team I gotta 172 00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:54,950 get the right people but the reality is 173 00:06:54,950 --> 00:06:56,930 it's not the people it's the leadership 174 00:06:56,930 --> 00:07:00,650 if we create the right environment we 175 00:07:00,650 --> 00:07:02,900 will get people like Noah at the four 176 00:07:02,900 --> 00:07:04,970 seasons if we create the wrong 177 00:07:04,970 --> 00:07:06,950 environment we will get people like Noah 178 00:07:06,950 --> 00:07:10,460 at Caesar's Palace it's not the people 179 00:07:10,460 --> 00:07:12,790 and yet we're so quick to hire and fire 180 00:07:12,790 --> 00:07:15,710 you can't hire and fire your children if 181 00:07:15,710 --> 00:07:18,230 there's if your kids are struggling we 182 00:07:18,230 --> 00:07:20,150 don't say you got to see at school 183 00:07:20,150 --> 00:07:25,100 you're up for adoption so why is it that 184 00:07:25,100 --> 00:07:26,960 when somebody has performance problems 185 00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:29,240 at work why is it that our instinct is 186 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:33,220 to say you're out we do not practice 187 00:07:33,220 --> 00:07:35,810 empathy what does empathy look like 188 00:07:35,810 --> 00:07:37,460 here's the lack of empathy this is 189 00:07:37,460 --> 00:07:39,470 normal in our business world you walk 190 00:07:39,470 --> 00:07:40,880 into someone's office someone walks into 191 00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:42,620 our office and says your numbers have 192 00:07:42,620 --> 00:07:44,210 been down for the third quarter in a row 193 00:07:44,210 --> 00:07:46,340 you have to pick up your numbers 194 00:07:46,340 --> 00:07:48,290 otherwise I can't guarantee what the 195 00:07:48,290 --> 00:07:50,510 future will look like how inspired you 196 00:07:50,510 --> 00:07:52,250 think that person is to come to work the 197 00:07:52,250 --> 00:07:54,650 next day here's what empathy looks like 198 00:07:54,650 --> 00:07:56,540 you walk into someone's office someone 199 00:07:56,540 --> 00:07:57,680 walks into your office and says your 200 00:07:57,680 --> 00:07:59,510 numbers are down for the third quarter 201 00:07:59,510 --> 00:08:03,050 in a row are you okay I'm worried about 202 00:08:03,050 --> 00:08:03,620 you 203 00:08:03,620 --> 00:08:06,860 what's going on we all have performance 204 00:08:06,860 --> 00:08:08,900 issues maybe someone's kid is sick maybe 205 00:08:08,900 --> 00:08:09,950 they're having problems in their 206 00:08:09,950 --> 00:08:11,780 marriage maybe one of their parents is 207 00:08:11,780 --> 00:08:14,000 dying we don't know what's going on in 208 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:16,070 their lives and of course it will affect 209 00:08:16,070 --> 00:08:18,650 performance at work empathy is being 210 00:08:18,650 --> 00:08:21,050 concerned about the human being not just 211 00:08:21,050 --> 00:08:25,250 their output we have for some reason our 212 00:08:25,250 --> 00:08:28,070 work world has changed in the past 20 213 00:08:28,070 --> 00:08:31,310 and 30 years we are suffering the side 214 00:08:31,310 --> 00:08:34,309 effects of business theories left over 215 00:08:34,309 --> 00:08:37,580 from the 80s and 90s and they are bad 216 00:08:37,580 --> 00:08:41,799 for people and they are bad for business 217 00:08:41,799 --> 00:08:45,110 let me give you an example the concept 218 00:08:45,110 --> 00:08:48,290 of shareholder supremacy was a theory 219 00:08:48,290 --> 00:08:52,670 proposed in the late 1970s it was 220 00:08:52,670 --> 00:08:56,540 popularized in the 80s and 90s it is now 221 00:08:56,540 --> 00:08:59,680 standard form today you talk to any 222 00:08:59,680 --> 00:09:01,910 public company and you ask them their 223 00:09:01,910 --> 00:09:02,990 priority and they say maximize 224 00:09:02,990 --> 00:09:04,050 shareholder value 225 00:09:04,050 --> 00:09:07,149 really that's like a coach prioritizing 226 00:09:07,149 --> 00:09:09,130 the needs of the fans over the needs of 227 00:09:09,130 --> 00:09:10,870 the players how you gonna build a 228 00:09:10,870 --> 00:09:13,089 winning team with that model but that's 229 00:09:13,089 --> 00:09:14,860 normal today we don't even perceive it 230 00:09:14,860 --> 00:09:16,870 as broken or damaged or wrong or 231 00:09:16,870 --> 00:09:20,410 outdated remember the 80s and 90s were 232 00:09:20,410 --> 00:09:23,980 boom years with relative peace and a 233 00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:25,959 kinder gentler cold war nobody was 234 00:09:25,959 --> 00:09:28,029 practicing hiding under their desks in 235 00:09:28,029 --> 00:09:31,569 school anymore we are no longer in those 236 00:09:31,569 --> 00:09:34,209 times these are no longer boom years 237 00:09:34,209 --> 00:09:36,850 these are no longer peaceful times and 238 00:09:36,850 --> 00:09:39,569 those models cannot work today 239 00:09:39,569 --> 00:09:45,370 here's another one mass layoffs using 240 00:09:45,370 --> 00:09:47,860 someone's livelihood to balance the 241 00:09:47,860 --> 00:09:51,009 books right it's so normal in America 242 00:09:51,009 --> 00:09:53,319 today that we don't even understand how 243 00:09:53,319 --> 00:09:55,630 broken and how damaging it is not only 244 00:09:55,630 --> 00:09:58,089 to human beings but to business you know 245 00:09:58,089 --> 00:09:59,410 companies talk about how they want to 246 00:09:59,410 --> 00:10:00,610 build trust in cooperation then they 247 00:10:00,610 --> 00:10:02,139 announce a round of layoffs do you know 248 00:10:02,139 --> 00:10:04,300 the quickest way to destroy trust and 249 00:10:04,300 --> 00:10:06,009 destroy cooperation in a business 250 00:10:06,009 --> 00:10:09,399 literally in one day lay people off and 251 00:10:09,399 --> 00:10:12,189 everyone gets scared all right can you 252 00:10:12,189 --> 00:10:14,199 imagine sending someone home to say 253 00:10:14,199 --> 00:10:15,850 honey I can no longer provide for our 254 00:10:15,850 --> 00:10:17,439 family because the company missed its 255 00:10:17,439 --> 00:10:20,769 arbitrary projections this year and 256 00:10:20,769 --> 00:10:22,149 forget about the people who lost their 257 00:10:22,149 --> 00:10:24,160 job think about the people who kept 258 00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:26,290 their jobs because every single decision 259 00:10:26,290 --> 00:10:27,790 a company makes as a piece of 260 00:10:27,790 --> 00:10:29,829 communication and the company cut the 261 00:10:29,829 --> 00:10:31,750 company has just communicated to 262 00:10:31,750 --> 00:10:34,350 everybody else this is not a meritocracy 263 00:10:34,350 --> 00:10:37,060 we don't care how hard you work or how 264 00:10:37,060 --> 00:10:39,550 long you've worked here if we miss our 265 00:10:39,550 --> 00:10:41,199 numbers and you happen to fall on the 266 00:10:41,199 --> 00:10:44,290 wrong side of the spreadsheet I'm sorry 267 00:10:44,290 --> 00:10:46,420 we cannot guarantee employment in other 268 00:10:46,420 --> 00:10:48,490 words we come to work every day afraid 269 00:10:48,490 --> 00:10:51,579 and we're asking our youngest generation 270 00:10:51,579 --> 00:10:53,470 to work in environments where how would 271 00:10:53,470 --> 00:10:56,110 any of us ever stand up and admit I made 272 00:10:56,110 --> 00:10:58,480 a mistake we're constantly being told 273 00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:00,310 you has to be vulnerable leaders are 274 00:11:00,310 --> 00:11:02,079 vulnerable what does that even mean it 275 00:11:02,079 --> 00:11:03,950 doesn't mean you walk around crying I'm 276 00:11:03,950 --> 00:11:07,820 honorable right know what vulnerability 277 00:11:07,820 --> 00:11:09,290 means as you create an environment in 278 00:11:09,290 --> 00:11:11,810 which someone feels safe enough to raise 279 00:11:11,810 --> 00:11:14,120 their hand and said I don't know what 280 00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:14,840 I'm doing 281 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:17,030 you've given me a job and I haven't been 282 00:11:17,030 --> 00:11:20,420 trained to do it I need help I made a 283 00:11:20,420 --> 00:11:23,930 mistake I screwed something up I'm 284 00:11:23,930 --> 00:11:24,710 scared 285 00:11:24,710 --> 00:11:27,440 I'm worried all of these things no one 286 00:11:27,440 --> 00:11:29,390 would ever admit inside a company 287 00:11:29,390 --> 00:11:31,310 because it puts a target on your head in 288 00:11:31,310 --> 00:11:33,950 case there's another round and so we 289 00:11:33,950 --> 00:11:35,600 keep it to ourselves and how can a 290 00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:37,760 company ever do well if nobody's ever 291 00:11:37,760 --> 00:11:38,870 willing to admit they made a mistake 292 00:11:38,870 --> 00:11:40,460 that's scared or they don't know what 293 00:11:40,460 --> 00:11:42,140 they're doing and so we've literally 294 00:11:42,140 --> 00:11:43,730 created cultures in which every single 295 00:11:43,730 --> 00:11:45,320 day everybody comes to work and liya hai 296 00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:49,130 lies hides and fakes and we're asking 297 00:11:49,130 --> 00:11:51,740 our youngest generation to work and 298 00:11:51,740 --> 00:11:54,170 succeed and find themselves and build 299 00:11:54,170 --> 00:11:56,330 their confidence and overcome their 300 00:11:56,330 --> 00:11:58,520 addiction to technology and build strong 301 00:11:58,520 --> 00:12:00,590 relationships at work we're asking to do 302 00:12:00,590 --> 00:12:01,850 this and these lis environments we've 303 00:12:01,850 --> 00:12:04,550 created we keep saying to them you're 304 00:12:04,550 --> 00:12:08,680 the future leaders we're the leaders now 305 00:12:08,680 --> 00:12:14,660 we're in control what are we doing this 306 00:12:14,660 --> 00:12:17,210 is what empathy means it means if 307 00:12:17,210 --> 00:12:19,520 there's an entire generation struggling 308 00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:22,580 maybe it's not them it's like you know 309 00:12:22,580 --> 00:12:25,040 the only thing that I that the common 310 00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:29,620 factor in all my failed relationships me 311 00:12:29,620 --> 00:12:32,480 same thing Oh II just can't get the 312 00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:33,440 right Act or you know the right 313 00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:35,390 performance out of our people maybe it's 314 00:12:35,390 --> 00:12:39,560 you right it's not a generation it's not 315 00:12:39,560 --> 00:12:41,930 them they're not difficult or hard to 316 00:12:41,930 --> 00:12:44,330 understand they're human beings like the 317 00:12:44,330 --> 00:12:45,980 rest of us trying to find their way 318 00:12:45,980 --> 00:12:48,260 trying to work in a place where they 319 00:12:48,260 --> 00:12:50,750 feel that someone cares about them as a 320 00:12:50,750 --> 00:12:53,840 human being by the way that's what we 321 00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:57,110 all want in other words it's not even 322 00:12:57,110 --> 00:13:01,040 generational it's all of us this is the 323 00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:02,840 practice of empathy that if we're 324 00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:04,910 struggling to communicate to someone if 325 00:13:04,910 --> 00:13:06,890 it's struggling to help someone be at 326 00:13:06,890 --> 00:13:09,140 their natural best I'm tired of people 327 00:13:09,140 --> 00:13:10,610 saying to me how do I get the best out 328 00:13:10,610 --> 00:13:12,050 of my people really that's what you want 329 00:13:12,050 --> 00:13:13,880 they're like a towel just lingam how can 330 00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:16,880 I get the most out of them 331 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:18,530 No how do I help my people be at their 332 00:13:18,530 --> 00:13:21,680 natural best right we're not asking 333 00:13:21,680 --> 00:13:22,760 these questions we are not practicing 334 00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:23,330 empathy 335 00:13:23,330 --> 00:13:25,250 we have to start by practicing empathy 336 00:13:25,250 --> 00:13:27,410 and relate to what they may be going 337 00:13:27,410 --> 00:13:29,240 through and it will profoundly change 338 00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:30,710 the decisions we make it will profoundly 339 00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:34,300 change the way we see the world 340 00:13:34,300 --> 00:13:37,190 someone's driving to work you're driving 341 00:13:37,190 --> 00:13:39,020 to work and someone wants to cut into 342 00:13:39,020 --> 00:13:41,180 your lane what do you do if you pull 343 00:13:41,180 --> 00:13:44,150 your car up would you let them in most 344 00:13:44,150 --> 00:13:45,680 of us pull our cars up and go like this 345 00:13:45,680 --> 00:13:49,100 you wait your turn now let's practice 346 00:13:49,100 --> 00:13:50,600 empathy I don't know maybe they've been 347 00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:52,040 out of work for six months maybe they 348 00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:53,300 had trouble getting the kids out to 349 00:13:53,300 --> 00:13:54,410 school this morning and now they're 350 00:13:54,410 --> 00:13:56,180 running late for a really important 351 00:13:56,180 --> 00:13:57,680 interview and they just have to get to 352 00:13:57,680 --> 00:13:58,910 this interview and they're gonna cut 353 00:13:58,910 --> 00:14:01,580 into our lane or maybe they're just a 354 00:14:01,580 --> 00:14:07,070 bastard I don't know but that's the 355 00:14:07,070 --> 00:14:11,030 point we don't know we don't know and 356 00:14:11,030 --> 00:14:13,370 the practice of empathy will say I'll 357 00:14:13,370 --> 00:14:17,060 let them in and I'll arrive to work one 358 00:14:17,060 --> 00:14:20,840 car lengths late right we don't always 359 00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:23,660 have to be right we do always have to be 360 00:14:23,660 --> 00:14:25,910 in charge we don't have to be the one 361 00:14:25,910 --> 00:14:27,920 who succeeds it's not about winning or 362 00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:30,290 losing and that's where I go to the 363 00:14:30,290 --> 00:14:33,490 second point after empathy comes 364 00:14:33,490 --> 00:14:36,350 perspective where it's not about winning 365 00:14:36,350 --> 00:14:41,240 or losing in game theory there are two 366 00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:43,340 kinds of games there are finite games 367 00:14:43,340 --> 00:14:45,890 and there are infinite games and this is 368 00:14:45,890 --> 00:14:47,230 how you're gonna change your perspective 369 00:14:47,230 --> 00:14:51,110 right a finite game is defined as known 370 00:14:51,110 --> 00:14:54,200 players fixed rules and an agreed upon 371 00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:58,160 objective baseball for example we know 372 00:14:58,160 --> 00:14:59,690 the rules we all agree to the rules and 373 00:14:59,690 --> 00:15:01,790 whoever has more runs at the end of nine 374 00:15:01,790 --> 00:15:03,350 innings is the winner and the game is 375 00:15:03,350 --> 00:15:05,210 over no one ever says if we can just 376 00:15:05,210 --> 00:15:06,680 play two more innings I know we can come 377 00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:09,470 back doesn't work that way the game is 378 00:15:09,470 --> 00:15:12,560 over right that's a finite game then you 379 00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:15,110 have an infinite game infinite games are 380 00:15:15,110 --> 00:15:18,800 defined as known and unknown players the 381 00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:21,710 rules are changeable and the objective 382 00:15:21,710 --> 00:15:24,170 is to keep the game in play to 383 00:15:24,170 --> 00:15:26,990 perpetuate the game when you pit a 384 00:15:26,990 --> 00:15:28,790 finite player versus a finite player 385 00:15:28,790 --> 00:15:30,920 this system is 386 00:15:30,920 --> 00:15:34,910 baseball is stable right when you pit an 387 00:15:34,910 --> 00:15:36,710 infant an infinite player versus an 388 00:15:36,710 --> 00:15:38,660 infinite player this system is also 389 00:15:38,660 --> 00:15:40,760 stable like the Cold War for example 390 00:15:40,760 --> 00:15:42,890 because there cannot be a winner and a 391 00:15:42,890 --> 00:15:44,600 loser there are no winners and losers in 392 00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:46,850 an infinite game right it doesn't exist 393 00:15:46,850 --> 00:15:48,650 and because there are no winners or 394 00:15:48,650 --> 00:15:50,210 losers what ends up happening in the 395 00:15:50,210 --> 00:15:52,640 infinite contest is players drop out 396 00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:54,830 when they run out of the will or the 397 00:15:54,830 --> 00:15:57,230 resources to play but there's no winners 398 00:15:57,230 --> 00:16:01,220 or losers problems arise when you pit a 399 00:16:01,220 --> 00:16:03,110 finite player versus an infinite player 400 00:16:03,110 --> 00:16:05,000 because the finite players playing to 401 00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:07,460 win and an infinite player is to playing 402 00:16:07,460 --> 00:16:09,830 to keep the game going right this is 403 00:16:09,830 --> 00:16:11,720 what happened to us in Vietnam we were 404 00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:14,030 playing to win and the Vietnamese were 405 00:16:14,030 --> 00:16:16,340 fighting for their lives we were the 406 00:16:16,340 --> 00:16:18,140 ones who got stuck in quagmire this is 407 00:16:18,140 --> 00:16:20,180 the Soviet Union in Afghanistan they 408 00:16:20,180 --> 00:16:22,130 were trying to beat the Mujahideen and 409 00:16:22,130 --> 00:16:23,690 the Mujahideen would fight for as long 410 00:16:23,690 --> 00:16:27,170 as is necessary quagmire now let's look 411 00:16:27,170 --> 00:16:31,130 at business the game of business has 412 00:16:31,130 --> 00:16:32,960 pre-existed or has existed long before 413 00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:35,030 every single company that exists on this 414 00:16:35,030 --> 00:16:38,480 planet today and it will outlast every 415 00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:40,370 single company that it lives that exists 416 00:16:40,370 --> 00:16:42,920 on this planet today there's no winning 417 00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:45,290 the game of business and the reason is 418 00:16:45,290 --> 00:16:46,820 is because we haven't agreed to the 419 00:16:46,820 --> 00:16:49,850 rules I get such a kick out of this you 420 00:16:49,850 --> 00:16:51,470 realize how many companies actually 421 00:16:51,470 --> 00:16:53,720 don't know the game they're in right 422 00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:55,040 listen to the language of the companies 423 00:16:55,040 --> 00:16:56,750 use we're trying to beat our competition 424 00:16:56,750 --> 00:16:59,300 we're trying to be number one did you 425 00:16:59,300 --> 00:17:00,980 know that we were ranked number one look 426 00:17:00,980 --> 00:17:03,339 at the listing based on what criteria 427 00:17:03,339 --> 00:17:05,959 revenues profits market share square 428 00:17:05,959 --> 00:17:08,030 footage number of employees based on 429 00:17:08,030 --> 00:17:09,920 what time frame a quarter a year five 430 00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:11,689 years ten years 20 years 50 years 100 431 00:17:11,689 --> 00:17:13,310 years I haven't agreed to those 432 00:17:13,310 --> 00:17:15,140 standards how can you declare yourself 433 00:17:15,140 --> 00:17:15,980 the winner 434 00:17:15,980 --> 00:17:17,720 how can you declare yourself number one 435 00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:19,579 where no one else in the game has agreed 436 00:17:19,579 --> 00:17:23,630 to the rules it's arbitrary there is no 437 00:17:23,630 --> 00:17:27,230 winning because there's no end in other 438 00:17:27,230 --> 00:17:29,720 words companies are playing finite games 439 00:17:29,720 --> 00:17:31,820 listen to their language they're trying 440 00:17:31,820 --> 00:17:33,710 to beat their competition what does that 441 00:17:33,710 --> 00:17:37,280 even mean it's the leaders and the 442 00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:38,840 companies that understand the game that 443 00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:40,550 they're in and organize their resources 444 00:17:40,550 --> 00:17:42,120 and their decision making 445 00:17:42,120 --> 00:17:44,630 the infinite contest that outlast and 446 00:17:44,630 --> 00:17:47,940 frustrate their competition all the 447 00:17:47,940 --> 00:17:49,470 companies that we've referred to as the 448 00:17:49,470 --> 00:17:52,500 exceptions Southwest Airlines Apple 449 00:17:52,500 --> 00:17:55,290 computers harley-davidson they're the 450 00:17:55,290 --> 00:17:57,360 exception no they're playing the 451 00:17:57,360 --> 00:17:59,910 infinite contest they frustrate their 452 00:17:59,910 --> 00:18:03,150 competition is what happens that's what 453 00:18:03,150 --> 00:18:04,440 happens because they're not playing to 454 00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:05,450 win 455 00:18:05,450 --> 00:18:08,520 Jim Senegal the founder of Costco which 456 00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:10,050 is the company only real company that 457 00:18:10,050 --> 00:18:11,490 gives Walmart a run for its money 458 00:18:11,490 --> 00:18:13,940 he says public companies are looking to 459 00:18:13,940 --> 00:18:15,870 succeed for the quarter says we're 460 00:18:15,870 --> 00:18:17,400 looking for the next 50 years you can 461 00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:18,870 hear him he's playing the infinite 462 00:18:18,870 --> 00:18:22,610 contest I spoke at a Leadership Summit 463 00:18:22,610 --> 00:18:25,890 for Microsoft I also spoke at a 464 00:18:25,890 --> 00:18:28,740 Leadership Summit for Apple now at the 465 00:18:28,740 --> 00:18:31,140 Microsoft summit I would say 70% of the 466 00:18:31,140 --> 00:18:33,030 executives and this was under the Steve 467 00:18:33,030 --> 00:18:35,429 Ballmer days I would say about 70% of 468 00:18:35,429 --> 00:18:38,220 the executives spend about 70% of their 469 00:18:38,220 --> 00:18:40,830 presentations talking about how to beat 470 00:18:40,830 --> 00:18:45,720 Apple at the Apple Summit a hundred 471 00:18:45,720 --> 00:18:47,429 percent of the executives spent a 472 00:18:47,429 --> 00:18:48,870 hundred percent of their presentations 473 00:18:48,870 --> 00:18:51,030 talking about how to help teachers teach 474 00:18:51,030 --> 00:18:53,700 and how to help students learn one was 475 00:18:53,700 --> 00:18:56,010 obsessed with their competition the 476 00:18:56,010 --> 00:18:57,390 other one was obsessed with where 477 00:18:57,390 --> 00:18:59,550 they're going so at the end of my 478 00:18:59,550 --> 00:19:03,120 presentation at Microsoft they gave me a 479 00:19:03,120 --> 00:19:05,370 gift they gave me the new Zune which was 480 00:19:05,370 --> 00:19:07,230 the competitor to the iPod touch when it 481 00:19:07,230 --> 00:19:09,450 was a thing right and I have to tell you 482 00:19:09,450 --> 00:19:12,320 this piece of technology was spectacular 483 00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:15,540 it was beautiful the user interface was 484 00:19:15,540 --> 00:19:18,000 incredible the design was amazing it was 485 00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:20,220 intuitive it was one of the most 486 00:19:20,220 --> 00:19:21,840 beautiful elegant pieces of technology 487 00:19:21,840 --> 00:19:24,390 I'd ever seen right now they didn't work 488 00:19:24,390 --> 00:19:25,710 with iTunes which is an entirely 489 00:19:25,710 --> 00:19:29,179 different problem I couldn't use it 490 00:19:30,980 --> 00:19:36,450 but that's something else I'm sitting in 491 00:19:36,450 --> 00:19:38,370 the back of a taxi with a senior Apple 492 00:19:38,370 --> 00:19:40,169 executive sort of employee number twelve 493 00:19:40,169 --> 00:19:43,730 kind of guy and I decide to stir the pot 494 00:19:43,730 --> 00:19:48,390 and I turned him I say you know I spoke 495 00:19:48,390 --> 00:19:50,820 at a Microsoft summit and they gave me 496 00:19:50,820 --> 00:19:53,520 their new Zune and I have to tell you it 497 00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:57,590 is so much better than your iPod touch 498 00:19:57,590 --> 00:20:01,890 and he turned to me and said I have no 499 00:20:01,890 --> 00:20:10,020 doubt conversation over because the 500 00:20:10,020 --> 00:20:13,530 infinite player isn't playing to be 501 00:20:13,530 --> 00:20:16,169 number one every day with every product 502 00:20:16,169 --> 00:20:18,030 they're playing to outlast the 503 00:20:18,030 --> 00:20:20,190 competition if I had sent to Microsoft 504 00:20:20,190 --> 00:20:21,600 oh I've got the new iPod touch it's so 505 00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:22,890 much better than your new Zune there was 506 00:20:22,890 --> 00:20:24,480 a can we see it what does it do how we 507 00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:26,789 have to see it because one is obsessed 508 00:20:26,789 --> 00:20:28,260 with their competition the other is 509 00:20:28,260 --> 00:20:30,000 obsessed with why they do what they do 510 00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:31,890 the other is obsessed with where they're 511 00:20:31,890 --> 00:20:34,380 going and the reason Apple frustrates 512 00:20:34,380 --> 00:20:35,970 their competition is because secretly 513 00:20:35,970 --> 00:20:38,159 they're not even competing against them 514 00:20:38,159 --> 00:20:40,590 they're competing against themselves and 515 00:20:40,590 --> 00:20:43,470 they understand that sometimes you're a 516 00:20:43,470 --> 00:20:45,480 little bit ahead and sometimes you're a 517 00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:47,520 little bit behind and sometimes your 518 00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:49,770 product is better and sometimes you're 519 00:20:49,770 --> 00:20:51,929 not but if you wake up every single 520 00:20:51,929 --> 00:20:54,929 morning and compete against yourself how 521 00:20:54,929 --> 00:20:56,730 do I make our products better than they 522 00:20:56,730 --> 00:20:58,679 were yesterday how do I take care of our 523 00:20:58,679 --> 00:21:00,150 customers better than we did yesterday 524 00:21:00,150 --> 00:21:02,250 how do we advance our cause more 525 00:21:02,250 --> 00:21:05,010 efficiently more productively than we 526 00:21:05,010 --> 00:21:06,690 did yesterday how do we find new 527 00:21:06,690 --> 00:21:08,880 solutions to advance our calling our 528 00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:10,830 cause our purpose our beliefs are why 529 00:21:10,830 --> 00:21:12,870 every single day what you'll find is 530 00:21:12,870 --> 00:21:16,950 over time you will probably be ahead 531 00:21:16,950 --> 00:21:19,230 more often those who play the infinite 532 00:21:19,230 --> 00:21:20,760 game understand it's not about the 533 00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:23,880 battle it's about the war and they don't 534 00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:27,480 play to win every day and they frustrate 535 00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:29,010 their competition until their 536 00:21:29,010 --> 00:21:31,200 competition drops out of the game every 537 00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:33,210 single bankruptcy almost every merger 538 00:21:33,210 --> 00:21:35,130 and acquisition is basically a company 539 00:21:35,130 --> 00:21:36,720 saying we no longer have the will or the 540 00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:38,549 resources to continue to play and we 541 00:21:38,549 --> 00:21:39,990 have no choice to either drop out of the 542 00:21:39,990 --> 00:21:40,809 game or 543 00:21:40,809 --> 00:21:42,519 or merge our resources with another 544 00:21:42,519 --> 00:21:44,259 player so that we can stay in the game 545 00:21:44,259 --> 00:21:46,570 that's what that is and if you think 546 00:21:46,570 --> 00:21:47,769 about the number of bankruptcies and 547 00:21:47,769 --> 00:21:49,539 mergers and acquisitions it's kind of 548 00:21:49,539 --> 00:21:51,669 proof that most companies don't even 549 00:21:51,669 --> 00:21:54,309 know the game they're in you want to be 550 00:21:54,309 --> 00:21:56,259 a great leader start with empathy you 551 00:21:56,259 --> 00:21:58,899 want to be a great leader change your 552 00:21:58,899 --> 00:22:01,149 perspective and play the game you're 553 00:22:01,149 --> 00:22:06,509 actually playing thank you very much 554 00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:10,250 [Applause]