[Applause]
so I'm embarrassed that I have a career
I talk about things like trust and
cooperation and there should be no
demand for my work but the fact of the
matter is is there is demand for my work
which means that there's an opportunity
it means that trust and cooperation are
not yet standard in our organizations
and yet they should be and we know that
which is why we're looking for ways to
bring those things to our organizations
so I thought I would do something a
little different today you know when
you're speaking to tens of thousands of
people and you have the opportunity to
share a message of course most rational
people would say let's go with something
I've talked about lots of times and I'm
really good at but I'm not normal so I'm
gonna do something completely new and I
hope this works out there are two things
that I think that great leaders need to
have empathy and perspective and I think
these things are very often forgotten
leaders are so often so concerned about
their status of their position and
organization they actually forget their
real job and the real job of a leader is
not about being in charge it's about
taking care of those in our charge and I
don't think people realize this and I
don't think people train for this when
we're junior our only responsibility is
to be good at our jobs that's all we
really have to do and some people
actually go get advanced education and
so that they can be really good at their
jobs accountants or whatever right and
you show up and you work hard and the
company will give us tons and tons of
training how to do our jobs they'll
shows how to use the software they'll
send us away for a few days to get
trained in whatever it is that we're
doing for the company and then they
expect us to go be good at our jobs and
that's what we do we work very hard and
if you're good at your job they'll
promote you and at some point you'll get
promoted to position where we're now
responsible for the people who do the
job we used to do but nobody shows us
how to do that and that's why we get
managers and not leaders because the
reason our managers
micromanaging us is because they
actually do know how to do the job
better than us that's what got them
promoted really what we have to do is go
through a transition some people make it
quickly some people make it slowly and
unfortunately some people will never
make that transition at all which is we
have to go this through this transition
of being responsible for the job and
then turning it to somebody who's now
responsible for the people who are
responsible for the job and as I said
before one of the great things that is
lacking in most of our companies is that
they are not teaching us how to lead and
leadership is a skill like any other is
a practice' balloon able skill and it is
something that you work on it's like a
muscle if you practice it all the days
you will get good at it and you will get
to become a strong leader if you stop
practicing you will become a weak leader
like parenting everyone has the capacity
to be a parent doesn't mean everybody
wants to be a parent and doesn't mean
everybody shouldn't be a parent
leadership is the same we all have the
capacity to be a leader doesn't mean
everybody should be a leader and it
doesn't mean everybody wants to be a
leader and the reason is because it
comes at great personal sacrifice
remember you're not in charge you're
responsible for those in your charge
that means things like when everything
goes right you have to give away all the
credit and when everything goes wrong
you have to take all the responsibility
that sucks right it's things like
staying late to show somebody what to do
it's things like when something does
actually break when something goes wrong
instead of yelling and screaming and
taking over you say try again when the
overwhelming pressures are not on them
the overwhelming pressures are on us at
the end of the day great leaders are not
responsible for the job they're
responsible for the people who are
responsible for the job they're not even
responsible for the results I love
talking to CEOs and say what's your
priority and they put their hands on
their hips old proud and say my priority
is my customer I'm like really even talk
to a customer in 15 years
there's no CEO on the planet responsible
for the customer they're just not
they're responsible for the people who
responsible for the people who
responsible for the customer I'll tell
you a true story a few months ago I
stayed at the Four Seasons in Las Vegas
it is a wonderful hotel and the reason
it's a wonderful hotel is not because of
the fancy beds any hotel can go and buy
a fancy bed
the reason it's a wonderful hotel is
because of the people who work there
if you walk past somebody at the Four
Seasons than this and they say hello to
you you get the feeling that they
actually wanted to say hello to you it's
not that somebody told them that you
have to say hello to all the customers
say hello to all the guests right you
actually feel that they care now in
their Lobby they have a coffee stand and
I one afternoon I went to buy a cup of
coffee and there was a barista by the
name of Noah who was serving me Noah was
fantastic he was friendly and fun and he
was engaging with me and I had so much
fun buying a cup of coffee I actually
think I gave a hundred percent tip right
he was wonderful so as is my nature I
asked Noah do you like your job and
without skipping a beat Noah says I love
my job and so I followed up I said what
is it that the four seasons is doing
that would make you say to me I love my
job and without skipping a beat Noah
said throughout the day managers will
walk past me and ask me how I'm doing if
there's anything that I need to do my
job better he said not just my manager
any manager and then he said something
magical he says I also work at Caesars
Palace and Caesars at Caesar's Palace
the managers are trying to make sure
we're doing everything right they catch
us when we do things wrong he says when
I go to work there I like to keep my
head under the radar and just get
through the day so I can get my paycheck
he says here at the Four Seasons I feel
I can be myself same person entirely a
different experience from the from the
customer who will engage with Noah so we
in leadership are always criticizing the
people we're always saying we gotta get
the right people
I've got to film I run my team I gotta
get the right people but the reality is
it's not the people it's the leadership
if we create the right environment we
will get people like Noah at the four
seasons if we create the wrong
environment we will get people like Noah
at Caesar's Palace it's not the people
and yet we're so quick to hire and fire
you can't hire and fire your children if
there's if your kids are struggling we
don't say you got to see at school
you're up for adoption so why is it that
when somebody has performance problems
at work why is it that our instinct is
to say you're out we do not practice
empathy what does empathy look like
here's the lack of empathy this is
normal in our business world you walk
into someone's office someone walks into
our office and says your numbers have
been down for the third quarter in a row
you have to pick up your numbers
otherwise I can't guarantee what the
future will look like how inspired you
think that person is to come to work the
next day here's what empathy looks like
you walk into someone's office someone
walks into your office and says your
numbers are down for the third quarter
in a row are you okay I'm worried about
you
what's going on we all have performance
issues maybe someone's kid is sick maybe
they're having problems in their
marriage maybe one of their parents is
dying we don't know what's going on in
their lives and of course it will affect
performance at work empathy is being
concerned about the human being not just
their output we have for some reason our
work world has changed in the past 20
and 30 years we are suffering the side
effects of business theories left over
from the 80s and 90s and they are bad
for people and they are bad for business
let me give you an example the concept
of shareholder supremacy was a theory
proposed in the late 1970s it was
popularized in the 80s and 90s it is now
standard form today you talk to any
public company and you ask them their
priority and they say maximize
shareholder value
really that's like a coach prioritizing
the needs of the fans over the needs of
the players how you gonna build a
winning team with that model but that's
normal today we don't even perceive it
as broken or damaged or wrong or
outdated remember the 80s and 90s were
boom years with relative peace and a
kinder gentler cold war nobody was
practicing hiding under their desks in
school anymore we are no longer in those
times these are no longer boom years
these are no longer peaceful times and
those models cannot work today
here's another one mass layoffs using
someone's livelihood to balance the
books right it's so normal in America
today that we don't even understand how
broken and how damaging it is not only
to human beings but to business you know
companies talk about how they want to
build trust in cooperation then they
announce a round of layoffs do you know
the quickest way to destroy trust and
destroy cooperation in a business
literally in one day lay people off and
everyone gets scared all right can you
imagine sending someone home to say
honey I can no longer provide for our
family because the company missed its
arbitrary projections this year and
forget about the people who lost their
job think about the people who kept
their jobs because every single decision
a company makes as a piece of
communication and the company cut the
company has just communicated to
everybody else this is not a meritocracy
we don't care how hard you work or how
long you've worked here if we miss our
numbers and you happen to fall on the
wrong side of the spreadsheet I'm sorry
we cannot guarantee employment in other
words we come to work every day afraid
and we're asking our youngest generation
to work in environments where how would
any of us ever stand up and admit I made
a mistake we're constantly being told
you has to be vulnerable leaders are
vulnerable what does that even mean it
doesn't mean you walk around crying I'm
honorable right know what vulnerability
means as you create an environment in
which someone feels safe enough to raise
their hand and said I don't know what
I'm doing
you've given me a job and I haven't been
trained to do it I need help I made a
mistake I screwed something up I'm
scared
I'm worried all of these things no one
would ever admit inside a company
because it puts a target on your head in
case there's another round and so we
keep it to ourselves and how can a
company ever do well if nobody's ever
willing to admit they made a mistake
that's scared or they don't know what
they're doing and so we've literally
created cultures in which every single
day everybody comes to work and liya hai
lies hides and fakes and we're asking
our youngest generation to work and
succeed and find themselves and build
their confidence and overcome their
addiction to technology and build strong
relationships at work we're asking to do
this and these lis environments we've
created we keep saying to them you're
the future leaders we're the leaders now
we're in control what are we doing this
is what empathy means it means if
there's an entire generation struggling
maybe it's not them it's like you know
the only thing that I that the common
factor in all my failed relationships me
same thing Oh II just can't get the
right Act or you know the right
performance out of our people maybe it's
you right it's not a generation it's not
them they're not difficult or hard to
understand they're human beings like the
rest of us trying to find their way
trying to work in a place where they
feel that someone cares about them as a
human being by the way that's what we
all want in other words it's not even
generational it's all of us this is the
practice of empathy that if we're
struggling to communicate to someone if
it's struggling to help someone be at
their natural best I'm tired of people
saying to me how do I get the best out
of my people really that's what you want
they're like a towel just lingam how can
I get the most out of them
No how do I help my people be at their
natural best right we're not asking
these questions we are not practicing
empathy
we have to start by practicing empathy
and relate to what they may be going
through and it will profoundly change
the decisions we make it will profoundly
change the way we see the world
someone's driving to work you're driving
to work and someone wants to cut into
your lane what do you do if you pull
your car up would you let them in most
of us pull our cars up and go like this
you wait your turn now let's practice
empathy I don't know maybe they've been
out of work for six months maybe they
had trouble getting the kids out to
school this morning and now they're
running late for a really important
interview and they just have to get to
this interview and they're gonna cut
into our lane or maybe they're just a
bastard I don't know but that's the
point we don't know we don't know and
the practice of empathy will say I'll
let them in and I'll arrive to work one
car lengths late right we don't always
have to be right we do always have to be
in charge we don't have to be the one
who succeeds it's not about winning or
losing and that's where I go to the
second point after empathy comes
perspective where it's not about winning
or losing in game theory there are two
kinds of games there are finite games
and there are infinite games and this is
how you're gonna change your perspective
right a finite game is defined as known
players fixed rules and an agreed upon
objective baseball for example we know
the rules we all agree to the rules and
whoever has more runs at the end of nine
innings is the winner and the game is
over no one ever says if we can just
play two more innings I know we can come
back doesn't work that way the game is
over right that's a finite game then you
have an infinite game infinite games are
defined as known and unknown players the
rules are changeable and the objective
is to keep the game in play to
perpetuate the game when you pit a
finite player versus a finite player
this system is
baseball is stable right when you pit an
infant an infinite player versus an
infinite player this system is also
stable like the Cold War for example
because there cannot be a winner and a
loser there are no winners and losers in
an infinite game right it doesn't exist
and because there are no winners or
losers what ends up happening in the
infinite contest is players drop out
when they run out of the will or the
resources to play but there's no winners
or losers problems arise when you pit a
finite player versus an infinite player
because the finite players playing to
win and an infinite player is to playing
to keep the game going right this is
what happened to us in Vietnam we were
playing to win and the Vietnamese were
fighting for their lives we were the
ones who got stuck in quagmire this is
the Soviet Union in Afghanistan they
were trying to beat the Mujahideen and
the Mujahideen would fight for as long
as is necessary quagmire now let's look
at business the game of business has
pre-existed or has existed long before
every single company that exists on this
planet today and it will outlast every
single company that it lives that exists
on this planet today there's no winning
the game of business and the reason is
is because we haven't agreed to the
rules I get such a kick out of this you
realize how many companies actually
don't know the game they're in right
listen to the language of the companies
use we're trying to beat our competition
we're trying to be number one did you
know that we were ranked number one look
at the listing based on what criteria
revenues profits market share square
footage number of employees based on
what time frame a quarter a year five
years ten years 20 years 50 years 100
years I haven't agreed to those
standards how can you declare yourself
the winner
how can you declare yourself number one
where no one else in the game has agreed
to the rules it's arbitrary there is no
winning because there's no end in other
words companies are playing finite games
listen to their language they're trying
to beat their competition what does that
even mean it's the leaders and the
companies that understand the game that
they're in and organize their resources
and their decision making
the infinite contest that outlast and
frustrate their competition all the
companies that we've referred to as the
exceptions Southwest Airlines Apple
computers harley-davidson they're the
exception no they're playing the
infinite contest they frustrate their
competition is what happens that's what
happens because they're not playing to
win
Jim Senegal the founder of Costco which
is the company only real company that
gives Walmart a run for its money
he says public companies are looking to
succeed for the quarter says we're
looking for the next 50 years you can
hear him he's playing the infinite
contest I spoke at a Leadership Summit
for Microsoft I also spoke at a
Leadership Summit for Apple now at the
Microsoft summit I would say 70% of the
executives and this was under the Steve
Ballmer days I would say about 70% of
the executives spend about 70% of their
presentations talking about how to beat
Apple at the Apple Summit a hundred
percent of the executives spent a
hundred percent of their presentations
talking about how to help teachers teach
and how to help students learn one was
obsessed with their competition the
other one was obsessed with where
they're going so at the end of my
presentation at Microsoft they gave me a
gift they gave me the new Zune which was
the competitor to the iPod touch when it
was a thing right and I have to tell you
this piece of technology was spectacular
it was beautiful the user interface was
incredible the design was amazing it was
intuitive it was one of the most
beautiful elegant pieces of technology
I'd ever seen right now they didn't work
with iTunes which is an entirely
different problem I couldn't use it
but that's something else I'm sitting in
the back of a taxi with a senior Apple
executive sort of employee number twelve
kind of guy and I decide to stir the pot
and I turned him I say you know I spoke
at a Microsoft summit and they gave me
their new Zune and I have to tell you it
is so much better than your iPod touch
and he turned to me and said I have no
doubt conversation over because the
infinite player isn't playing to be
number one every day with every product
they're playing to outlast the
competition if I had sent to Microsoft
oh I've got the new iPod touch it's so
much better than your new Zune there was
a can we see it what does it do how we
have to see it because one is obsessed
with their competition the other is
obsessed with why they do what they do
the other is obsessed with where they're
going and the reason Apple frustrates
their competition is because secretly
they're not even competing against them
they're competing against themselves and
they understand that sometimes you're a
little bit ahead and sometimes you're a
little bit behind and sometimes your
product is better and sometimes you're
not but if you wake up every single
morning and compete against yourself how
do I make our products better than they
were yesterday how do I take care of our
customers better than we did yesterday
how do we advance our cause more
efficiently more productively than we
did yesterday how do we find new
solutions to advance our calling our
cause our purpose our beliefs are why
every single day what you'll find is
over time you will probably be ahead
more often those who play the infinite
game understand it's not about the
battle it's about the war and they don't
play to win every day and they frustrate
their competition until their
competition drops out of the game every
single bankruptcy almost every merger
and acquisition is basically a company
saying we no longer have the will or the
resources to continue to play and we
have no choice to either drop out of the
game or
or merge our resources with another
player so that we can stay in the game
that's what that is and if you think
about the number of bankruptcies and
mergers and acquisitions it's kind of
proof that most companies don't even
know the game they're in you want to be
a great leader start with empathy you
want to be a great leader change your
perspective and play the game you're
actually playing thank you very much
[Applause]