1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:21,070 [Applause] 2 00:00:23,779 --> 00:00:28,020 So, I'm embarrassed that I have a career. 3 00:00:28,020 --> 00:00:31,919 I talk about things like trust and 4 00:00:31,919 --> 00:00:34,230 cooperation, and there should be no 5 00:00:34,230 --> 00:00:37,410 demand for my work. But the fact of the 6 00:00:37,410 --> 00:00:39,540 matter is, there is demand for my work, 7 00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:41,210 which means that there's an opportunity. 8 00:00:41,210 --> 00:00:44,250 It means that trust and cooperation are 9 00:00:44,250 --> 00:00:46,650 not yet standard in our organizations, 10 00:00:46,650 --> 00:00:48,180 and yet they should be, and we know that, 11 00:00:48,180 --> 00:00:49,769 which is why we're looking for ways to 12 00:00:49,769 --> 00:00:52,760 bring those things to our organizations. 13 00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:54,570 So, I thought I would do something a 14 00:00:54,570 --> 00:00:56,339 little different today. You know, when 15 00:00:56,339 --> 00:00:58,650 you're speaking to tens of thousands of 16 00:00:58,650 --> 00:01:00,390 people and you have the opportunity to 17 00:01:00,390 --> 00:01:02,549 share a message, of course, most rational 18 00:01:02,549 --> 00:01:03,989 people would say, "Let's go with something 19 00:01:03,989 --> 00:01:06,060 I've talked about lots of times and I'm 20 00:01:06,060 --> 00:01:10,140 really good at," but I'm not normal, so I'm 21 00:01:10,140 --> 00:01:12,240 going to do something completely new, and I 22 00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:15,509 hope this works out. There are two things 23 00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:16,920 that I think that great leaders need to 24 00:01:16,920 --> 00:01:20,280 have: empathy and perspective. And I think 25 00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:21,720 these things are very often forgotten. 26 00:01:21,720 --> 00:01:24,359 Leaders are so often so concerned about 27 00:01:24,359 --> 00:01:26,100 their status or their position in an 28 00:01:26,100 --> 00:01:27,539 organization they actually forget their 29 00:01:27,539 --> 00:01:30,570 real job. And the real job of a leader is 30 00:01:30,570 --> 00:01:33,030 not about being in charge, it's about 31 00:01:33,030 --> 00:01:36,390 taking care of those in our charge. And I 32 00:01:36,390 --> 00:01:38,130 don't think people realize this, and I 33 00:01:38,130 --> 00:01:40,200 don't think people train for this. When 34 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:43,049 we're junior, our only responsibility is 35 00:01:43,049 --> 00:01:44,850 to be good at our jobs. That's all we 36 00:01:44,850 --> 00:01:46,859 really have to do. And some people 37 00:01:46,859 --> 00:01:49,399 actually go get advanced educations 38 00:01:49,399 --> 00:01:51,539 so that they can be really good at their 39 00:01:51,539 --> 00:01:53,579 jobs--accountants or whatever. Right? And 40 00:01:53,579 --> 00:01:55,979 you show up, and you work hard, and the 41 00:01:55,979 --> 00:01:58,409 company will give us tons and tons of 42 00:01:58,409 --> 00:02:00,630 training on how to do our jobs. They'll 43 00:02:00,630 --> 00:02:02,249 show us how to use the software. They'll 44 00:02:02,249 --> 00:02:04,170 send us away for a few days to get 45 00:02:04,170 --> 00:02:06,240 trained in whatever it is that we're 46 00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:07,770 doing for the company. And then they 47 00:02:07,770 --> 00:02:09,990 expect us to go be good at our jobs. And 48 00:02:09,990 --> 00:02:11,850 that's what we do, we work very hard. And 49 00:02:11,850 --> 00:02:15,930 if you're good at your job, they'll 50 00:02:15,930 --> 00:02:19,650 promote you. And at some point, you'll get 51 00:02:19,650 --> 00:02:21,120 promoted to position where we're now 52 00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:22,709 responsible for the people who do the 53 00:02:22,709 --> 00:02:25,230 job we used to do, but nobody shows us 54 00:02:25,230 --> 00:02:27,330 how to do that. And that's why we get 55 00:02:27,330 --> 00:02:29,489 managers and not leaders. Because the 56 00:02:29,489 --> 00:02:30,410 reason our managers are 57 00:02:30,410 --> 00:02:31,760 micromanaging us is because they 58 00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:33,860 actually do know how to do the job 59 00:02:33,860 --> 00:02:35,510 better than us. That's what got them 60 00:02:35,510 --> 00:02:39,110 promoted. Really, what we have to do is go 61 00:02:39,110 --> 00:02:41,150 through a transition. Some people make it 62 00:02:41,150 --> 00:02:43,130 quickly, some people make it slowly, and 63 00:02:43,130 --> 00:02:44,390 unfortunately, some people will never 64 00:02:44,390 --> 00:02:46,670 make that transition at all. Which is we 65 00:02:46,670 --> 00:02:48,110 have to go this through this transition 66 00:02:48,110 --> 00:02:50,120 of being responsible for the job and 67 00:02:50,120 --> 00:02:51,950 then turning it to somebody who's now 68 00:02:51,950 --> 00:02:53,930 responsible for the people who are 69 00:02:53,930 --> 00:02:56,180 responsible for the job. And as I said 70 00:02:56,180 --> 00:02:57,680 before, one of the great things that is 71 00:02:57,680 --> 00:03:00,050 lacking in most of our companies is that 72 00:03:00,050 --> 00:03:03,640 they are not teaching us how to lead. And 73 00:03:03,640 --> 00:03:06,980 leadership is a skill like any other. It is 74 00:03:06,980 --> 00:03:10,160 a practicable, learnable skill. And it is 75 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:11,720 something that you work on--it's like a 76 00:03:11,720 --> 00:03:13,690 muscle. If you practice it all the days, 77 00:03:13,690 --> 00:03:15,710 you will get good at it, and you will 78 00:03:15,710 --> 00:03:17,600 become a strong leader. If you stop 79 00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:19,250 practicing, you will become a weak leader. 80 00:03:19,250 --> 00:03:22,760 Like parenting, everyone has the capacity 81 00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:25,910 to be a parent. Doesn't mean everybody 82 00:03:25,910 --> 00:03:28,010 wants to be a parent, and doesn't mean 83 00:03:28,010 --> 00:03:29,590 everybody should be a parent. 84 00:03:29,590 --> 00:03:32,480 Leadership is the same. We all have the 85 00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:35,180 capacity to be a leader, doesn't mean 86 00:03:35,180 --> 00:03:37,010 everybody should be a leader, and it 87 00:03:37,010 --> 00:03:38,330 doesn't mean everybody wants to be a 88 00:03:38,330 --> 00:03:40,850 leader. And the reason is because it 89 00:03:40,850 --> 00:03:44,260 comes at great personal sacrifice. 90 00:03:44,260 --> 00:03:47,090 Remember, you're not in charge; you're 91 00:03:47,090 --> 00:03:49,330 responsible for those in your charge. 92 00:03:49,330 --> 00:03:51,650 That means things like when everything 93 00:03:51,650 --> 00:03:53,180 goes right, you have to give away all the 94 00:03:53,180 --> 00:03:54,800 credit. And when everything goes wrong, 95 00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:56,810 you have to take all the responsibility. 96 00:03:56,810 --> 00:04:01,040 That sucks, right? It's things like 97 00:04:01,040 --> 00:04:03,290 staying late to show somebody what to do. 98 00:04:03,290 --> 00:04:06,110 It's things like when something does 99 00:04:06,110 --> 00:04:08,120 actually break, when something goes wrong, 100 00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:10,130 instead of yelling and screaming and 101 00:04:10,130 --> 00:04:14,330 taking over, you say, "Try again." When the 102 00:04:14,330 --> 00:04:16,040 overwhelming pressures are not on them, 103 00:04:16,040 --> 00:04:19,370 the overwhelming pressures are on us. At 104 00:04:19,370 --> 00:04:21,529 the end of the day, great leaders are not 105 00:04:21,529 --> 00:04:23,060 responsible for the job, they're 106 00:04:23,060 --> 00:04:24,230 responsible for the people who are 107 00:04:24,230 --> 00:04:26,180 responsible for the job. They're not even 108 00:04:26,180 --> 00:04:28,340 responsible for the results. I love 109 00:04:28,340 --> 00:04:30,200 talking to CEOs and saying, "What's your 110 00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:31,820 priority?" And they put their hands on 111 00:04:31,820 --> 00:04:33,380 their hips all proud and say, "My priority 112 00:04:33,380 --> 00:04:35,419 is my customer." I'm like, "Really? You haven't talked 113 00:04:35,419 --> 00:04:37,890 to a customer in fifteen years." 114 00:04:37,890 --> 00:04:39,360 [Audience laughing]. 115 00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:41,949 There's no CEO on the planet responsible 116 00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:43,539 for the customer. They're just not. 117 00:04:43,539 --> 00:04:45,969 They're responsible for the people who are 118 00:04:45,969 --> 00:04:47,680 responsible for the people who are 119 00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:49,779 responsible for the customer. I'll tell 120 00:04:49,779 --> 00:04:51,729 you a true story. A few months ago, I 121 00:04:51,729 --> 00:04:55,719 stayed at the Four Seasons in Las Vegas. 122 00:04:55,719 --> 00:05:00,039 It is a wonderful hotel. And the reason 123 00:05:00,039 --> 00:05:01,539 it's a wonderful hotel is not because of 124 00:05:01,539 --> 00:05:04,569 the fancy beds. Any hotel can go and buy 125 00:05:04,569 --> 00:05:05,919 a fancy bed. 126 00:05:05,919 --> 00:05:07,960 The reason it's a wonderful hotel is 127 00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:09,460 because of the people who work there. 128 00:05:09,460 --> 00:05:11,319 If you walk past somebody at the Four 129 00:05:11,319 --> 00:05:12,789 Seasons and they say hello to 130 00:05:12,789 --> 00:05:14,529 you, you get the feeling that they 131 00:05:14,529 --> 00:05:16,479 actually wanted to say hello to you. It's 132 00:05:16,479 --> 00:05:17,710 not that somebody told them, "You 133 00:05:17,710 --> 00:05:19,090 have to say hello to all the customers, 134 00:05:19,090 --> 00:05:20,740 say hello to all the guests." Right? You 135 00:05:20,740 --> 00:05:23,680 actually feel that they care. Now, in 136 00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:27,250 their lobby, they have a coffee stand. And, 137 00:05:27,250 --> 00:05:29,289 one afternoon, I went to buy a cup of 138 00:05:29,289 --> 00:05:31,060 coffee, and there was a barista by the 139 00:05:31,060 --> 00:05:33,659 name of Noah who was serving me. Noah was 140 00:05:33,659 --> 00:05:37,779 fantastic. He was friendly and fun, and he 141 00:05:37,779 --> 00:05:39,639 was engaging with me, and I had so much 142 00:05:39,639 --> 00:05:41,050 fun buying a cup of coffee, I actually 143 00:05:41,050 --> 00:05:43,210 think I gave a 100% tip. Right? 144 00:05:43,210 --> 00:05:46,150 He was wonderful. So, as is my nature, I 145 00:05:46,150 --> 00:05:49,389 asked Noah, "Do you like your job?" And 146 00:05:49,389 --> 00:05:51,759 without skipping a beat, Noah says, "I love 147 00:05:51,759 --> 00:05:54,669 my job." And so I followed up, I said, "What 148 00:05:54,669 --> 00:05:56,409 is it that the Four Seasons is doing 149 00:05:56,409 --> 00:05:59,830 that would make you say to me, 'I love my 150 00:05:59,830 --> 00:06:02,529 job?'" And without skipping a beat, Noah 151 00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:04,810 said, "Throughout the day, managers will 152 00:06:04,810 --> 00:06:07,300 walk past me and ask me how I'm doing, if 153 00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:08,919 there's anything that I need to do my 154 00:06:08,919 --> 00:06:11,050 job better." He said, "Not just my manager, 155 00:06:11,050 --> 00:06:14,379 any manager." And then he said something 156 00:06:14,379 --> 00:06:18,460 magical. He says, "I also work at Caesar's 157 00:06:18,460 --> 00:06:20,889 Palace." And at Caesar's Palace, 158 00:06:20,889 --> 00:06:22,300 the managers are trying to make sure 159 00:06:22,300 --> 00:06:23,710 we're doing everything right. They catch 160 00:06:23,710 --> 00:06:26,500 us when we do things wrong. He says, "When 161 00:06:26,500 --> 00:06:28,060 I go to work there, I like to keep my 162 00:06:28,060 --> 00:06:30,250 head under the radar and just get 163 00:06:30,250 --> 00:06:32,520 through the day so I can get my paycheck." 164 00:06:32,520 --> 00:06:35,889 He says, "Here at the Four Seasons, I feel 165 00:06:35,889 --> 00:06:42,009 I can be myself." Same person, entirely 166 00:06:42,009 --> 00:06:44,560 different experience from the 167 00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:46,959 customer who will engage with Noah. So, we 168 00:06:46,959 --> 00:06:48,819 in leadership are always criticizing the 169 00:06:48,819 --> 00:06:50,529 people. We're always saying, "We've got to get 170 00:06:50,529 --> 00:06:51,260 the right people on the bus. 171 00:06:51,260 --> 00:06:53,240 I've got to fill my team. I've got to 172 00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:54,950 get the right people." But the reality is, 173 00:06:54,950 --> 00:06:56,930 it's not the people. It's the leadership. 174 00:06:56,930 --> 00:07:00,650 If we create the right environment, we 175 00:07:00,650 --> 00:07:02,900 will get people like Noah at the Four 176 00:07:02,900 --> 00:07:04,970 Seasons. If we create the wrong 177 00:07:04,970 --> 00:07:06,950 environment, we will get people like Noah 178 00:07:06,950 --> 00:07:10,460 at Caesar's Palace. It's not the people. 179 00:07:10,460 --> 00:07:12,790 And yet, we're so quick to hire and fire. 180 00:07:12,790 --> 00:07:15,710 You can't hire and fire your children. If 181 00:07:15,710 --> 00:07:18,230 your kids are struggling, we 182 00:07:18,230 --> 00:07:20,150 don't say, "You got a C at school, 183 00:07:20,150 --> 00:07:25,100 you're up for adoption." So why is it that 184 00:07:25,100 --> 00:07:26,960 when somebody has performance problems 185 00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:29,240 at work, why is it that our instinct is 186 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:33,220 to say, "You're out?" We do not practice 187 00:07:33,220 --> 00:07:35,810 empathy. What does empathy look like? 188 00:07:35,810 --> 00:07:37,460 Here's the lack of empathy. This is 189 00:07:37,460 --> 00:07:39,470 normal in our business world. You walk 190 00:07:39,470 --> 00:07:40,880 into someone's office, someone walks into 191 00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:42,620 our office and says, "Your numbers have 192 00:07:42,620 --> 00:07:44,210 been down for the third quarter in a row. 193 00:07:44,210 --> 00:07:46,340 You have to pick up your numbers, 194 00:07:46,340 --> 00:07:48,290 otherwise I can't guarantee what the 195 00:07:48,290 --> 00:07:50,510 future will look like." How inspired do you 196 00:07:50,510 --> 00:07:52,250 think that person is to come to work the 197 00:07:52,250 --> 00:07:54,650 next day? Here's what empathy looks like. 198 00:07:54,650 --> 00:07:56,540 You walk into someone's office, someone 199 00:07:56,540 --> 00:07:57,680 walks into your office and says, "Your 200 00:07:57,680 --> 00:07:59,510 numbers are down for the third quarter 201 00:07:59,510 --> 00:08:03,050 in a row. Are you okay? I'm worried about 202 00:08:03,050 --> 00:08:03,620 you. 203 00:08:03,620 --> 00:08:06,860 What's going on?" We all have performance 204 00:08:06,860 --> 00:08:08,900 issues. Maybe someone's kid is sick, maybe 205 00:08:08,900 --> 00:08:09,950 they're having problems in their 206 00:08:09,950 --> 00:08:11,780 marriage, maybe one of their parents is 207 00:08:11,780 --> 00:08:14,000 dying. We don't know what's going on in 208 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:16,070 their lives. And of course, it will affect 209 00:08:16,070 --> 00:08:18,650 performance at work. Empathy is being 210 00:08:18,650 --> 00:08:21,050 concerned about the human being, not just 211 00:08:21,050 --> 00:08:25,250 their output. We have, for some reason, our 212 00:08:25,250 --> 00:08:28,070 work world has changed in the past twenty 213 00:08:28,070 --> 00:08:31,310 and thirty years. We are suffering the side 214 00:08:31,310 --> 00:08:34,309 effects of business theories left over 215 00:08:34,309 --> 00:08:37,580 from the '80s and '90s. And they are bad 216 00:08:37,580 --> 00:08:41,799 for people, and they are bad for business. 217 00:08:41,799 --> 00:08:45,110 Let me give you an example. The concept 218 00:08:45,110 --> 00:08:48,290 of shareholder supremacy was a theory 219 00:08:48,290 --> 00:08:52,670 proposed in the late 1970s. It was 220 00:08:52,670 --> 00:08:56,540 popularized in the '80s and '90s. It is now 221 00:08:56,540 --> 00:08:59,680 standard form today. You talk to any 222 00:08:59,680 --> 00:09:01,910 public company, and you ask them their 223 00:09:01,910 --> 00:09:02,990 priority, and they say, "Maximize 224 00:09:02,990 --> 00:09:04,050 shareholder value." 225 00:09:04,050 --> 00:09:07,149 Really? That's like a coach prioritizing 226 00:09:07,149 --> 00:09:09,130 the needs of the fans over the needs of 227 00:09:09,130 --> 00:09:10,870 the players. How are you going to build a 228 00:09:10,870 --> 00:09:13,089 winning team with that model? But that's 229 00:09:13,089 --> 00:09:14,860 normal today. We don't even perceive it 230 00:09:14,860 --> 00:09:16,870 as broken or damaged or wrong or 231 00:09:16,870 --> 00:09:20,410 outdated. Remember, the '80s and '90s were 232 00:09:20,410 --> 00:09:23,980 boom years with relative peace and a 233 00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:25,959 kinder, gentler cold war. Nobody was 234 00:09:25,959 --> 00:09:28,029 practicing hiding under their desks in 235 00:09:28,029 --> 00:09:31,569 school anymore. We are no longer in those 236 00:09:31,569 --> 00:09:34,209 times. These are no longer boom years. 237 00:09:34,209 --> 00:09:36,850 These are no longer peaceful times, and 238 00:09:36,850 --> 00:09:39,569 those models cannot work today. 239 00:09:39,569 --> 00:09:45,370 Here's another one: mass layoffs--using 240 00:09:45,370 --> 00:09:47,860 someone's livelihood to balance the 241 00:09:47,860 --> 00:09:51,009 books. Right? It's so normal in America 242 00:09:51,009 --> 00:09:53,319 today that we don't even understand how 243 00:09:53,319 --> 00:09:55,630 broken and how damaging it is, not only 244 00:09:55,630 --> 00:09:58,089 to human beings but to business. You know, 245 00:09:58,089 --> 00:09:59,410 companies talk about how they want to 246 00:09:59,410 --> 00:10:00,610 build trust and cooperation, and then they 247 00:10:00,610 --> 00:10:02,139 announce a round of layoffs. Do you know 248 00:10:02,139 --> 00:10:04,300 the quickest way to destroy trust and 249 00:10:04,300 --> 00:10:06,009 destroy cooperation in a business-- 250 00:10:06,009 --> 00:10:09,399 literally in one day? Lay people off. And 251 00:10:09,399 --> 00:10:12,189 everyone gets scared. Right? Can you 252 00:10:12,189 --> 00:10:14,199 imagine sending someone home to say, 253 00:10:14,199 --> 00:10:15,850 "Honey, I can no longer provide for our 254 00:10:15,850 --> 00:10:17,439 family because the company missed its 255 00:10:17,439 --> 00:10:20,769 arbitrary projections this year?" And 256 00:10:20,769 --> 00:10:22,149 forget about the people who lost their 257 00:10:22,149 --> 00:10:24,160 jobs--think about the people who kept 258 00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:26,290 their jobs. Because every single decision 259 00:10:26,290 --> 00:10:27,790 a company makes is a piece of 260 00:10:27,790 --> 00:10:29,829 communication. And the company 261 00:10:29,829 --> 00:10:31,750 has just communicated to 262 00:10:31,750 --> 00:10:34,350 everybody else: This is not a meritocracy. 263 00:10:34,350 --> 00:10:37,060 We don't care how hard you work or how 264 00:10:37,060 --> 00:10:39,550 long you've worked here. If we miss our 265 00:10:39,550 --> 00:10:41,199 numbers and you happen to fall on the 266 00:10:41,199 --> 00:10:44,290 wrong side of the spreadsheet, I'm sorry, 267 00:10:44,290 --> 00:10:46,420 we cannot guarantee employment. In other 268 00:10:46,420 --> 00:10:48,490 words, we come to work every day afraid. 269 00:10:48,490 --> 00:10:51,579 And we're asking our youngest generation 270 00:10:51,579 --> 00:10:53,470 to work in environments where how would 271 00:10:53,470 --> 00:10:56,110 any of us ever stand up and admit, "I made 272 00:10:56,110 --> 00:10:58,480 a mistake." We're constantly being told, 273 00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:00,310 "You have to be vulnerable. Leaders are 274 00:11:00,310 --> 00:11:02,079 vulnerable." What does that even mean? It 275 00:11:02,079 --> 00:11:03,950 doesn't mean you walk around crying, "I'm 276 00:11:03,950 --> 00:11:07,820 vulnerable," right? No. What vulnerability 277 00:11:07,820 --> 00:11:09,290 means is you create an environment in 278 00:11:09,290 --> 00:11:11,810 which someone feels safe enough to raise 279 00:11:11,810 --> 00:11:14,120 their hand and say, "I don't know what 280 00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:14,840 I'm doing. 281 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:17,030 You've given me a job, and I haven't been 282 00:11:17,030 --> 00:11:20,420 trained to do it. I need help. I made a 283 00:11:20,420 --> 00:11:23,930 mistake. I screwed something up. I'm 284 00:11:23,930 --> 00:11:24,710 scared. 285 00:11:24,710 --> 00:11:27,440 I'm worried." All of these things no one 286 00:11:27,440 --> 00:11:29,390 would ever admit inside a company 287 00:11:29,390 --> 00:11:31,310 because it puts a target on your head in 288 00:11:31,310 --> 00:11:33,950 case there's another round. And so, we 289 00:11:33,950 --> 00:11:35,600 keep it to ourselves. And how can a 290 00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:37,760 company ever do well if nobody's ever 291 00:11:37,760 --> 00:11:38,870 willing to a,dmit they made a mistake 292 00:11:38,870 --> 00:11:40,460 that they're scared, or they don't know what 293 00:11:40,460 --> 00:11:42,140 they're doing? And so, we've literally 294 00:11:42,140 --> 00:11:43,730 created cultures in which every single 295 00:11:43,730 --> 00:11:45,320 day, everybody comes to work and 296 00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:49,130 lies, hides, and fakes. And we're asking 297 00:11:49,130 --> 00:11:51,740 our youngest generation to work and 298 00:11:51,740 --> 00:11:54,170 succeed and find themselves and build 299 00:11:54,170 --> 00:11:56,330 their confidence and overcome their 300 00:11:56,330 --> 00:11:58,520 addiction to technology and build strong 301 00:11:58,520 --> 00:12:00,590 relationships at work. We're asking to do 302 00:12:00,590 --> 00:12:01,850 this, and these are the environments we've 303 00:12:01,850 --> 00:12:04,550 created. We keep saying to them, "You're 304 00:12:04,550 --> 00:12:08,680 the future leaders. We're the leaders now. 305 00:12:08,680 --> 00:12:14,660 We're in control." What are we doing? This 306 00:12:14,660 --> 00:12:17,210 is what empathy means: it means if 307 00:12:17,210 --> 00:12:19,520 there's an entire generation struggling, 308 00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:22,580 maybe it's not them. It's like, you know, 309 00:12:22,580 --> 00:12:25,040 the only thing that I, that, the common 310 00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:29,620 factor in all my failed relationships? Me. 311 00:12:29,620 --> 00:12:32,480 Same thing. "Well, we just can't get the 312 00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:33,440 right, you know, the right 313 00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:35,390 performance out of our people." Maybe it's 314 00:12:35,390 --> 00:12:39,560 you. Right? It's not a generation. It's not 315 00:12:39,560 --> 00:12:41,930 them. They're not difficult or hard to 316 00:12:41,930 --> 00:12:44,330 understand. They're human beings like the 317 00:12:44,330 --> 00:12:45,980 rest of us, trying to find their way, 318 00:12:45,980 --> 00:12:48,260 trying to work in a place where they 319 00:12:48,260 --> 00:12:50,750 feel that someone cares about them as a 320 00:12:50,750 --> 00:12:53,840 human being. By the way, that's what we 321 00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:57,110 all want. In other words, it's not even 322 00:12:57,110 --> 00:13:01,040 generational. It's all of us. This is the 323 00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:02,840 practice of empathy. That if we're 324 00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:04,910 struggling to communicate to someone, if 325 00:13:04,910 --> 00:13:06,890 we're struggling to help someone be at 326 00:13:06,890 --> 00:13:09,140 their natural best, I'm tired of people 327 00:13:09,140 --> 00:13:10,610 saying to me, "How do I get the best out 328 00:13:10,610 --> 00:13:12,050 of my people?" Really? That's what you want? 329 00:13:12,050 --> 00:13:13,880 They're like a towel, you just wring them? "How can 330 00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:16,880 I get the most out of them?" 331 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:18,530 No. How do I help my people be at their 332 00:13:18,530 --> 00:13:21,680 natural best? Right? We're not asking 333 00:13:21,680 --> 00:13:22,760 these questions. We're not practicing 334 00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:23,330 empathy. 335 00:13:23,330 --> 00:13:25,250 We have to start by practicing empathy 336 00:13:25,250 --> 00:13:27,410 and relate to what they may be going 337 00:13:27,410 --> 00:13:29,240 through, and it will profoundly change 338 00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:30,710 the decisions we make; it will profoundly 339 00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:34,300 change the way we see the world. 340 00:13:34,300 --> 00:13:37,190 Someone's driving to work, you're driving 341 00:13:37,190 --> 00:13:39,020 to work, and someone wants to cut into 342 00:13:39,020 --> 00:13:41,180 your lane. What do you do? If you pull 343 00:13:41,180 --> 00:13:44,150 your car up, would you let them in? Most 344 00:13:44,150 --> 00:13:45,680 of us pull our cars up and go like this, 345 00:13:45,680 --> 00:13:49,100 "You wait your turn." Now, let's practice 346 00:13:49,100 --> 00:13:50,600 empathy. I don't know, maybe they've been 347 00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:52,040 out of work for six months. Maybe they 348 00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:53,300 had trouble getting the kids out to 349 00:13:53,300 --> 00:13:54,410 school this morning, and now they're 350 00:13:54,410 --> 00:13:56,180 running late for a really important 351 00:13:56,180 --> 00:13:57,680 interview, and they just have to get to 352 00:13:57,680 --> 00:13:58,910 this interview, and they're going to cut 353 00:13:58,910 --> 00:14:01,580 into our lane. Or maybe they're just a 354 00:14:01,580 --> 00:14:07,070 bastard, I don't know. But that's the 355 00:14:07,070 --> 00:14:11,030 point. We don't know. We don't know. And 356 00:14:11,030 --> 00:14:13,370 the practice of empathy will say, "I'll 357 00:14:13,370 --> 00:14:17,060 let them in, and I'll arrive to work one 358 00:14:17,060 --> 00:14:20,840 car length late." Right? We don't always 359 00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:23,660 have to be right. We do always have to be 360 00:14:23,660 --> 00:14:25,910 in charge. We don't have to be the one 361 00:14:25,910 --> 00:14:27,920 who succeeds. It's not about winning or 362 00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:30,290 losing. And that's where I go to the 363 00:14:30,290 --> 00:14:33,490 second point. After empathy comes 364 00:14:33,490 --> 00:14:36,350 perspective, where it's not about winning 365 00:14:36,350 --> 00:14:41,240 or losing. In game theory, there are two 366 00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:43,340 kinds of games. There are finite games 367 00:14:43,340 --> 00:14:45,890 and there are infinite games. And this is 368 00:14:45,890 --> 00:14:47,230 how you're going to change your perspective. 369 00:14:47,230 --> 00:14:51,110 Right? A finite game is defined as known 370 00:14:51,110 --> 00:14:54,200 players, fixed rules, and an agreed-upon 371 00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:58,160 objective. Baseball, for example, we know 372 00:14:58,160 --> 00:14:59,690 the rules, we all agree to the rules, and 373 00:14:59,690 --> 00:15:01,790 whoever has more runs at the end of nine 374 00:15:01,790 --> 00:15:03,350 innings is the winner, and the game is 375 00:15:03,350 --> 00:15:05,210 over. No one ever says, "If we can just 376 00:15:05,210 --> 00:15:06,680 play two more innings, I know we can come 377 00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:09,470 back." Doesn't work that way. The game is 378 00:15:09,470 --> 00:15:12,560 over. Right? That's a finite game. Then you 379 00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:15,110 have an infinite game. Infinite games are 380 00:15:15,110 --> 00:15:18,800 defined as known and unknown players, the 381 00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:21,710 rules are changeable, and the objective 382 00:15:21,710 --> 00:15:24,170 is to keep the game in play, to 383 00:15:24,170 --> 00:15:26,990 perpetuate the game. When you pit a 384 00:15:26,990 --> 00:15:28,790 finite player versus a finite player, 385 00:15:28,790 --> 00:15:30,920 this system is stable. 386 00:15:30,920 --> 00:15:34,910 Baseball is stable. Right? When you pit an 387 00:15:34,910 --> 00:15:36,710 infinite player versus an 388 00:15:36,710 --> 00:15:38,660 infinite player, this system is also 389 00:15:38,660 --> 00:15:40,760 stable, like the Cold War, for example, 390 00:15:40,760 --> 00:15:42,890 because there cannot be a winner and a 391 00:15:42,890 --> 00:15:44,600 loser, there are no winners and losers in 392 00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:46,850 an infinite game. Right? It doesn't exist. 393 00:15:46,850 --> 00:15:48,650 And because there are no winners or 394 00:15:48,650 --> 00:15:50,210 losers, what ends up happening in the 395 00:15:50,210 --> 00:15:52,640 infinite contest is players drop out 396 00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:54,830 when they run out of the will or the 397 00:15:54,830 --> 00:15:57,230 resources to play. But there's no winners 398 00:15:57,230 --> 00:16:01,220 or losers. Problems arise when you pit a 399 00:16:01,220 --> 00:16:03,110 finite player versus an infinite player. 400 00:16:03,110 --> 00:16:05,000 Because the finite player is playing to 401 00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:07,460 win, and an infinite player is to playing 402 00:16:07,460 --> 00:16:09,830 to keep the game going. Right? This is 403 00:16:09,830 --> 00:16:11,720 what happened to us in Vietnam. We were 404 00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:14,030 playing to win, and the Vietnamese were 405 00:16:14,030 --> 00:16:16,340 fighting for their lives. We were the 406 00:16:16,340 --> 00:16:18,140 ones who got stuck in quagmire. This was 407 00:16:18,140 --> 00:16:20,180 the Soviet Union in Afghanistan. They 408 00:16:20,180 --> 00:16:22,130 were trying to beat the mujahideen, and 409 00:16:22,130 --> 00:16:23,690 the mujahideen would fight for as long 410 00:16:23,690 --> 00:16:27,170 as necessary. Quagmire. Now, let's look 411 00:16:27,170 --> 00:16:31,130 at business. The game of business has 412 00:16:31,130 --> 00:16:32,960 preexisted or has existed long before 413 00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:35,030 every single company that exists on this 414 00:16:35,030 --> 00:16:38,480 planet today. And it will outlast every 415 00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:40,370 single company that exists 416 00:16:40,370 --> 00:16:42,920 on this planet today. There's no winning 417 00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:45,290 the game of business. And the reason is 418 00:16:45,290 --> 00:16:46,820 is because we haven't agreed to the 419 00:16:46,820 --> 00:16:49,850 rules. I get such a kick out of this. You 420 00:16:49,850 --> 00:16:51,470 realize how many companies actually 421 00:16:51,470 --> 00:16:53,720 don't know the game they're in. Right? 422 00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:55,040 Listen to the language that the companies 423 00:16:55,040 --> 00:16:56,750 use. "We're trying to beat our competition." 424 00:16:56,750 --> 00:16:59,300 "We're trying to be number one." Did you 425 00:16:59,300 --> 00:17:00,980 know that we were ranked number one? Look 426 00:17:00,980 --> 00:17:03,339 at the listing. Based on what criteria? 427 00:17:03,339 --> 00:17:05,959 Revenues? Profits? Market share? Square 428 00:17:05,959 --> 00:17:08,030 footage? Number of employees? Based on 429 00:17:08,030 --> 00:17:09,920 what time frame? A quarter? A year? Five 430 00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:11,689 years? Ten years? Twenty years? Fifty years? A hundred 431 00:17:11,689 --> 00:17:13,310 years? I haven't agreed to those 432 00:17:13,310 --> 00:17:15,140 standards. How can you declare yourself 433 00:17:15,140 --> 00:17:15,980 the winner? 434 00:17:15,980 --> 00:17:17,720 How can you declare yourself number one 435 00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:19,579 where no one else in the game has agreed 436 00:17:19,579 --> 00:17:23,630 to the rules? It's arbitrary. There is no 437 00:17:23,630 --> 00:17:27,230 winning because there's no end. In other 438 00:17:27,230 --> 00:17:29,720 words, companies are playing finite games. 439 00:17:29,720 --> 00:17:31,820 Listen to their language. They're trying 440 00:17:31,820 --> 00:17:33,710 to beat their competition. What does that 441 00:17:33,710 --> 00:17:37,280 even mean? It's the leaders and the 442 00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:38,840 companies that understand the game that 443 00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:40,550 they're in and organize their resources 444 00:17:40,550 --> 00:17:42,120 and their decision-making around 445 00:17:42,120 --> 00:17:44,630 the infinite contest that outlast and 446 00:17:44,630 --> 00:17:47,940 frustrate their competition. All the 447 00:17:47,940 --> 00:17:49,470 companies that we've referred to as the 448 00:17:49,470 --> 00:17:52,500 exceptions--Southwest Airlines, Apple 449 00:17:52,500 --> 00:17:55,290 Computers, Harley Davidson--they're the 450 00:17:55,290 --> 00:17:57,360 exception. No. They're playing the 451 00:17:57,360 --> 00:17:59,910 infinite contest. They frustrate their 452 00:17:59,910 --> 00:18:03,150 competition is what happens. That's what 453 00:18:03,150 --> 00:18:04,440 happens because they're not playing to 454 00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:05,450 win. 455 00:18:05,450 --> 00:18:08,520 Jim Senegal, the founder of Costco, which 456 00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:10,050 is the only real company that 457 00:18:10,050 --> 00:18:11,490 gives Walmart a run for its money. 458 00:18:11,490 --> 00:18:13,940 He says, "Public companies are looking to 459 00:18:13,940 --> 00:18:15,870 succeed for the quarter." He says, "We're 460 00:18:15,870 --> 00:18:17,400 looking for the next fifty years." You can 461 00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:18,870 hear him. He's playing the infinite 462 00:18:18,870 --> 00:18:22,610 contest. I spoke at a leadership summit 463 00:18:22,610 --> 00:18:25,890 for Microsoft. I also spoke at a 464 00:18:25,890 --> 00:18:28,740 leadership summit for Apple. Now, at the 465 00:18:28,740 --> 00:18:31,140 Microsoft summit, I would say 70% of the 466 00:18:31,140 --> 00:18:33,030 executives, and this was under the Steve 467 00:18:33,030 --> 00:18:35,429 Ballmer days, I would say about 70% of 468 00:18:35,429 --> 00:18:38,220 the executives spent about 70% of their 469 00:18:38,220 --> 00:18:40,830 presentations talking about how to beat 470 00:18:40,830 --> 00:18:45,720 Apple. At the Apple summit, a 100% 471 00:18:45,720 --> 00:18:47,429 of the executives spent a 472 00:18:47,429 --> 00:18:48,870 100% of their presentations 473 00:18:48,870 --> 00:18:51,030 talking about how to help teachers teach 474 00:18:51,030 --> 00:18:53,700 and how to help students learn. One was 475 00:18:53,700 --> 00:18:56,010 obsessed with their competition, the 476 00:18:56,010 --> 00:18:57,390 other one was obsessed with where 477 00:18:57,390 --> 00:18:59,550 they're going. So at the end of my 478 00:18:59,550 --> 00:19:03,120 presentation at Microsoft, they gave me a 479 00:19:03,120 --> 00:19:05,370 gift. They gave me the new Zune, which was 480 00:19:05,370 --> 00:19:07,230 the competitor to the iPod Touch when it 481 00:19:07,230 --> 00:19:09,450 was a thing. Right? And I have to tell you, 482 00:19:09,450 --> 00:19:12,320 this piece of technology was spectacular. 483 00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:15,540 It was beautiful. The user interface was 484 00:19:15,540 --> 00:19:18,000 incredible. The design was amazing. It was 485 00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:20,220 intuitive. It was one of the most 486 00:19:20,220 --> 00:19:21,840 beautiful, elegant pieces of technology 487 00:19:21,840 --> 00:19:24,390 I'd ever seen. Right? Now, they didn't work 488 00:19:24,390 --> 00:19:25,710 with iTunes, which is an entirely 489 00:19:25,710 --> 00:19:28,211 different problem. I couldn't use it. 490 00:19:28,211 --> 00:19:30,980 [Audience laughing]. 491 00:19:30,980 --> 00:19:36,450 But that's something else. I'm sitting in 492 00:19:36,450 --> 00:19:38,370 the back of a taxi with a senior Apple 493 00:19:38,370 --> 00:19:40,169 executive, sort of employee number 12 494 00:19:40,169 --> 00:19:43,730 kind of guy, and I decide to stir the pot. 495 00:19:43,730 --> 00:19:48,390 And I turn to him and I say, "You know, I spoke 496 00:19:48,390 --> 00:19:50,820 at a Microsoft summit, and they gave me 497 00:19:50,820 --> 00:19:53,520 their new Zune, and I have to tell you, it 498 00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:57,590 is so much better than your iPod Touch." 499 00:19:57,590 --> 00:20:01,890 And he turned to me and said, "I have no 500 00:20:01,890 --> 00:20:04,683 doubt." Conversation over. 501 00:20:04,683 --> 00:20:10,020 [Audience laughing]. 502 00:20:10,020 --> 00:20:13,530 Because the infinite player isn't playing to be 503 00:20:13,530 --> 00:20:16,169 number one every day with every product. 504 00:20:16,169 --> 00:20:18,030 They're playing to outlast the 505 00:20:18,030 --> 00:20:20,190 competition. If I had said to Microsoft, 506 00:20:20,190 --> 00:20:21,600 "Oh, I've got the new iPod Touch, it's so 507 00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:22,890 much better than your new Zune," they would have said, 508 00:20:22,890 --> 00:20:24,480 "Can we see it? What does it do? How--We 509 00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:26,789 have to see it." Because one is obsessed 510 00:20:26,789 --> 00:20:28,260 with their competition, the other is 511 00:20:28,260 --> 00:20:30,000 obsessed with why they do what they do, 512 00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:31,890 the other is obsessed with where they're 513 00:20:31,890 --> 00:20:34,380 going. And the reason Apple frustrates 514 00:20:34,380 --> 00:20:35,970 their competition is because secretly, 515 00:20:35,970 --> 00:20:38,159 they're not even competing against them. 516 00:20:38,159 --> 00:20:40,590 They're competing against themselves. And 517 00:20:40,590 --> 00:20:43,470 they understand that sometimes you're a 518 00:20:43,470 --> 00:20:45,480 little bit ahead, and sometimes you're a 519 00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:47,520 little bit behind. And sometimes your 520 00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:49,770 product is better, and sometimes you're 521 00:20:49,770 --> 00:20:51,929 not. But if you wake up every single 522 00:20:51,929 --> 00:20:54,929 morning and compete against yourself, how 523 00:20:54,929 --> 00:20:56,730 do I make our products better than they 524 00:20:56,730 --> 00:20:58,679 were yesterday? How do I take care of our 525 00:20:58,679 --> 00:21:00,150 customers better than we did yesterday? 526 00:21:00,150 --> 00:21:02,250 How do we advance our cause more 527 00:21:02,250 --> 00:21:05,010 efficiently, more productively than we 528 00:21:05,010 --> 00:21:06,690 did yesterday? How do we find new 529 00:21:06,690 --> 00:21:08,880 solutions to advance our calling, our 530 00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:10,830 cause, our purpose, our beliefs, our why 531 00:21:10,830 --> 00:21:12,870 every single day? What you'll find is, 532 00:21:12,870 --> 00:21:16,950 over time, you will probably be ahead 533 00:21:16,950 --> 00:21:19,230 more often. Those who play the infinite 534 00:21:19,230 --> 00:21:20,760 game understand it's not about the 535 00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:23,880 battle, it's about the war. And they don't 536 00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:27,480 play to win every day, and they frustrate 537 00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:29,010 their competition until their 538 00:21:29,010 --> 00:21:31,200 competition drops out of the game. Every 539 00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:33,210 single bankruptcy, almost every merger 540 00:21:33,210 --> 00:21:35,130 and acquisition is basically a company 541 00:21:35,130 --> 00:21:36,720 saying, "We no longer have the will or the 542 00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:38,549 resources to continue to play, and we 543 00:21:38,549 --> 00:21:39,990 have no choice but to either drop out of the 544 00:21:39,990 --> 00:21:40,809 game or 545 00:21:40,809 --> 00:21:42,519 or merge our resources with another 546 00:21:42,519 --> 00:21:44,259 player so that we can stay in the game." 547 00:21:44,259 --> 00:21:46,570 That's what that is. And if you think 548 00:21:46,570 --> 00:21:47,769 about the number of bankruptcies and 549 00:21:47,769 --> 00:21:49,539 mergers and acquisitions, it's kind of 550 00:21:49,539 --> 00:21:51,669 proof that most companies don't even 551 00:21:51,669 --> 00:21:54,309 know the game they're in. You want to be 552 00:21:54,309 --> 00:21:56,259 a great leader? Start with empathy. You 553 00:21:56,259 --> 00:21:58,899 want to be a great leader? Change your 554 00:21:58,899 --> 00:22:01,149 perspective and play the game you're 555 00:22:01,149 --> 00:22:05,029 actually playing. Thank you very much. 556 00:22:05,029 --> 00:22:08,199 [Applause]