WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:21.070 [Applause] 00:00:23.779 --> 00:00:28.020 So, I'm embarrassed that I have a career. 00:00:28.020 --> 00:00:31.919 I talk about things like trust and 00:00:31.919 --> 00:00:34.230 cooperation, and there should be no 00:00:34.230 --> 00:00:37.410 demand for my work. But the fact of the 00:00:37.410 --> 00:00:39.540 matter is, there is demand for my work, 00:00:39.540 --> 00:00:41.210 which means that there's an opportunity. 00:00:41.210 --> 00:00:44.250 It means that trust and cooperation are 00:00:44.250 --> 00:00:46.650 not yet standard in our organizations, 00:00:46.650 --> 00:00:48.180 and yet they should be, and we know that, 00:00:48.180 --> 00:00:49.769 which is why we're looking for ways to 00:00:49.769 --> 00:00:52.760 bring those things to our organizations. 00:00:52.760 --> 00:00:54.570 So, I thought I would do something a 00:00:54.570 --> 00:00:56.339 little different today. You know, when 00:00:56.339 --> 00:00:58.650 you're speaking to tens of thousands of 00:00:58.650 --> 00:01:00.390 people and you have the opportunity to 00:01:00.390 --> 00:01:02.549 share a message, of course, most rational 00:01:02.549 --> 00:01:03.989 people would say, "Let's go with something 00:01:03.989 --> 00:01:06.060 I've talked about lots of times and I'm 00:01:06.060 --> 00:01:10.140 really good at," but I'm not normal, so I'm 00:01:10.140 --> 00:01:12.240 going to do something completely new, and I 00:01:12.240 --> 00:01:15.509 hope this works out. There are two things 00:01:15.509 --> 00:01:16.920 that I think that great leaders need to 00:01:16.920 --> 00:01:20.280 have: empathy and perspective. And I think 00:01:20.280 --> 00:01:21.720 these things are very often forgotten. 00:01:21.720 --> 00:01:24.359 Leaders are so often so concerned about 00:01:24.359 --> 00:01:26.100 their status or their position in an 00:01:26.100 --> 00:01:27.539 organization they actually forget their 00:01:27.539 --> 00:01:30.570 real job. And the real job of a leader is 00:01:30.570 --> 00:01:33.030 not about being in charge, it's about 00:01:33.030 --> 00:01:36.390 taking care of those in our charge. And I 00:01:36.390 --> 00:01:38.130 don't think people realize this, and I 00:01:38.130 --> 00:01:40.200 don't think people train for this. When 00:01:40.200 --> 00:01:43.049 we're junior, our only responsibility is 00:01:43.049 --> 00:01:44.850 to be good at our jobs. That's all we 00:01:44.850 --> 00:01:46.859 really have to do. And some people 00:01:46.859 --> 00:01:49.399 actually go get advanced educations 00:01:49.399 --> 00:01:51.539 so that they can be really good at their 00:01:51.539 --> 00:01:53.579 jobs--accountants or whatever. Right? And 00:01:53.579 --> 00:01:55.979 you show up, and you work hard, and the 00:01:55.979 --> 00:01:58.409 company will give us tons and tons of 00:01:58.409 --> 00:02:00.630 training on how to do our jobs. They'll 00:02:00.630 --> 00:02:02.249 show us how to use the software. They'll 00:02:02.249 --> 00:02:04.170 send us away for a few days to get 00:02:04.170 --> 00:02:06.240 trained in whatever it is that we're 00:02:06.240 --> 00:02:07.770 doing for the company. And then they 00:02:07.770 --> 00:02:09.990 expect us to go be good at our jobs. And 00:02:09.990 --> 00:02:11.850 that's what we do, we work very hard. And 00:02:11.850 --> 00:02:15.930 if you're good at your job, they'll 00:02:15.930 --> 00:02:19.650 promote you. And at some point, you'll get 00:02:19.650 --> 00:02:21.120 promoted to position where we're now 00:02:21.120 --> 00:02:22.709 responsible for the people who do the 00:02:22.709 --> 00:02:25.230 job we used to do, but nobody shows us 00:02:25.230 --> 00:02:27.330 how to do that. And that's why we get 00:02:27.330 --> 00:02:29.489 managers and not leaders. Because the 00:02:29.489 --> 00:02:30.410 reason our managers are 00:02:30.410 --> 00:02:31.760 micromanaging us is because they 00:02:31.760 --> 00:02:33.860 actually do know how to do the job 00:02:33.860 --> 00:02:35.510 better than us. That's what got them 00:02:35.510 --> 00:02:39.110 promoted. Really, what we have to do is go 00:02:39.110 --> 00:02:41.150 through a transition. Some people make it 00:02:41.150 --> 00:02:43.130 quickly, some people make it slowly, and 00:02:43.130 --> 00:02:44.390 unfortunately, some people will never 00:02:44.390 --> 00:02:46.670 make that transition at all. Which is we 00:02:46.670 --> 00:02:48.110 have to go this through this transition 00:02:48.110 --> 00:02:50.120 of being responsible for the job and 00:02:50.120 --> 00:02:51.950 then turning it to somebody who's now 00:02:51.950 --> 00:02:53.930 responsible for the people who are 00:02:53.930 --> 00:02:56.180 responsible for the job. And as I said 00:02:56.180 --> 00:02:57.680 before, one of the great things that is 00:02:57.680 --> 00:03:00.050 lacking in most of our companies is that 00:03:00.050 --> 00:03:03.640 they are not teaching us how to lead. And 00:03:03.640 --> 00:03:06.980 leadership is a skill like any other. It is 00:03:06.980 --> 00:03:10.160 a practicable, learnable skill. And it is 00:03:10.160 --> 00:03:11.720 something that you work on--it's like a 00:03:11.720 --> 00:03:13.690 muscle. If you practice it all the days, 00:03:13.690 --> 00:03:15.710 you will get good at it, and you will 00:03:15.710 --> 00:03:17.600 become a strong leader. If you stop 00:03:17.600 --> 00:03:19.250 practicing, you will become a weak leader. 00:03:19.250 --> 00:03:22.760 Like parenting, everyone has the capacity 00:03:22.760 --> 00:03:25.910 to be a parent. Doesn't mean everybody 00:03:25.910 --> 00:03:28.010 wants to be a parent, and doesn't mean 00:03:28.010 --> 00:03:29.590 everybody should be a parent. 00:03:29.590 --> 00:03:32.480 Leadership is the same. We all have the 00:03:32.480 --> 00:03:35.180 capacity to be a leader, doesn't mean 00:03:35.180 --> 00:03:37.010 everybody should be a leader, and it 00:03:37.010 --> 00:03:38.330 doesn't mean everybody wants to be a 00:03:38.330 --> 00:03:40.850 leader. And the reason is because it 00:03:40.850 --> 00:03:44.260 comes at great personal sacrifice. 00:03:44.260 --> 00:03:47.090 Remember, you're not in charge; you're 00:03:47.090 --> 00:03:49.330 responsible for those in your charge. 00:03:49.330 --> 00:03:51.650 That means things like when everything 00:03:51.650 --> 00:03:53.180 goes right, you have to give away all the 00:03:53.180 --> 00:03:54.800 credit. And when everything goes wrong, 00:03:54.800 --> 00:03:56.810 you have to take all the responsibility. 00:03:56.810 --> 00:04:01.040 That sucks, right? It's things like 00:04:01.040 --> 00:04:03.290 staying late to show somebody what to do. 00:04:03.290 --> 00:04:06.110 It's things like when something does 00:04:06.110 --> 00:04:08.120 actually break, when something goes wrong, 00:04:08.120 --> 00:04:10.130 instead of yelling and screaming and 00:04:10.130 --> 00:04:14.330 taking over, you say, "Try again." When the 00:04:14.330 --> 00:04:16.040 overwhelming pressures are not on them, 00:04:16.040 --> 00:04:19.370 the overwhelming pressures are on us. At 00:04:19.370 --> 00:04:21.529 the end of the day, great leaders are not 00:04:21.529 --> 00:04:23.060 responsible for the job, they're 00:04:23.060 --> 00:04:24.230 responsible for the people who are 00:04:24.230 --> 00:04:26.180 responsible for the job. They're not even 00:04:26.180 --> 00:04:28.340 responsible for the results. I love 00:04:28.340 --> 00:04:30.200 talking to CEOs and saying, "What's your 00:04:30.200 --> 00:04:31.820 priority?" And they put their hands on 00:04:31.820 --> 00:04:33.380 their hips all proud and say, "My priority 00:04:33.380 --> 00:04:35.419 is my customer." I'm like, "Really? You haven't talked 00:04:35.419 --> 00:04:37.890 to a customer in fifteen years." 00:04:37.890 --> 00:04:39.360 [Audience laughing]. 00:04:39.360 --> 00:04:41.949 There's no CEO on the planet responsible 00:04:41.949 --> 00:04:43.539 for the customer. They're just not. 00:04:43.539 --> 00:04:45.969 They're responsible for the people who are 00:04:45.969 --> 00:04:47.680 responsible for the people who are 00:04:47.680 --> 00:04:49.779 responsible for the customer. I'll tell 00:04:49.779 --> 00:04:51.729 you a true story. A few months ago, I 00:04:51.729 --> 00:04:55.719 stayed at the Four Seasons in Las Vegas. 00:04:55.719 --> 00:05:00.039 It is a wonderful hotel. And the reason 00:05:00.039 --> 00:05:01.539 it's a wonderful hotel is not because of 00:05:01.539 --> 00:05:04.569 the fancy beds. Any hotel can go and buy 00:05:04.569 --> 00:05:05.919 a fancy bed. 00:05:05.919 --> 00:05:07.960 The reason it's a wonderful hotel is 00:05:07.960 --> 00:05:09.460 because of the people who work there. 00:05:09.460 --> 00:05:11.319 If you walk past somebody at the Four 00:05:11.319 --> 00:05:12.789 Seasons and they say hello to 00:05:12.789 --> 00:05:14.529 you, you get the feeling that they 00:05:14.529 --> 00:05:16.479 actually wanted to say hello to you. It's 00:05:16.479 --> 00:05:17.710 not that somebody told them, "You 00:05:17.710 --> 00:05:19.090 have to say hello to all the customers, 00:05:19.090 --> 00:05:20.740 say hello to all the guests." Right? You 00:05:20.740 --> 00:05:23.680 actually feel that they care. Now, in 00:05:23.680 --> 00:05:27.250 their lobby, they have a coffee stand. And, 00:05:27.250 --> 00:05:29.289 one afternoon, I went to buy a cup of 00:05:29.289 --> 00:05:31.060 coffee, and there was a barista by the 00:05:31.060 --> 00:05:33.659 name of Noah who was serving me. Noah was 00:05:33.659 --> 00:05:37.779 fantastic. He was friendly and fun, and he 00:05:37.779 --> 00:05:39.639 was engaging with me, and I had so much 00:05:39.639 --> 00:05:41.050 fun buying a cup of coffee, I actually 00:05:41.050 --> 00:05:43.210 think I gave a 100% tip. Right? 00:05:43.210 --> 00:05:46.150 He was wonderful. So, as is my nature, I 00:05:46.150 --> 00:05:49.389 asked Noah, "Do you like your job?" And 00:05:49.389 --> 00:05:51.759 without skipping a beat, Noah says, "I love 00:05:51.759 --> 00:05:54.669 my job." And so I followed up, I said, "What 00:05:54.669 --> 00:05:56.409 is it that the Four Seasons is doing 00:05:56.409 --> 00:05:59.830 that would make you say to me, 'I love my 00:05:59.830 --> 00:06:02.529 job?'" And without skipping a beat, Noah 00:06:02.529 --> 00:06:04.810 said, "Throughout the day, managers will 00:06:04.810 --> 00:06:07.300 walk past me and ask me how I'm doing, if 00:06:07.300 --> 00:06:08.919 there's anything that I need to do my 00:06:08.919 --> 00:06:11.050 job better." He said, "Not just my manager, 00:06:11.050 --> 00:06:14.379 any manager." And then he said something 00:06:14.379 --> 00:06:18.460 magical. He says, "I also work at Caesar's 00:06:18.460 --> 00:06:20.889 Palace." And at Caesar's Palace, 00:06:20.889 --> 00:06:22.300 the managers are trying to make sure 00:06:22.300 --> 00:06:23.710 we're doing everything right. They catch 00:06:23.710 --> 00:06:26.500 us when we do things wrong. He says, "When 00:06:26.500 --> 00:06:28.060 I go to work there, I like to keep my 00:06:28.060 --> 00:06:30.250 head under the radar and just get 00:06:30.250 --> 00:06:32.520 through the day so I can get my paycheck." 00:06:32.520 --> 00:06:35.889 He says, "Here at the Four Seasons, I feel 00:06:35.889 --> 00:06:42.009 I can be myself." Same person, entirely 00:06:42.009 --> 00:06:44.560 different experience from the 00:06:44.560 --> 00:06:46.959 customer who will engage with Noah. So, we 00:06:46.959 --> 00:06:48.819 in leadership are always criticizing the 00:06:48.819 --> 00:06:50.529 people. We're always saying, "We've got to get 00:06:50.529 --> 00:06:51.260 the right people on the bus. 00:06:51.260 --> 00:06:53.240 I've got to fill my team. I've got to 00:06:53.240 --> 00:06:54.950 get the right people." But the reality is, 00:06:54.950 --> 00:06:56.930 it's not the people. It's the leadership. 00:06:56.930 --> 00:07:00.650 If we create the right environment, we 00:07:00.650 --> 00:07:02.900 will get people like Noah at the Four 00:07:02.900 --> 00:07:04.970 Seasons. If we create the wrong 00:07:04.970 --> 00:07:06.950 environment, we will get people like Noah 00:07:06.950 --> 00:07:10.460 at Caesar's Palace. It's not the people. 00:07:10.460 --> 00:07:12.790 And yet, we're so quick to hire and fire. 00:07:12.790 --> 00:07:15.710 You can't hire and fire your children. If 00:07:15.710 --> 00:07:18.230 your kids are struggling, we 00:07:18.230 --> 00:07:20.150 don't say, "You got a C at school, 00:07:20.150 --> 00:07:25.100 you're up for adoption." So why is it that 00:07:25.100 --> 00:07:26.960 when somebody has performance problems 00:07:26.960 --> 00:07:29.240 at work, why is it that our instinct is 00:07:29.240 --> 00:07:33.220 to say, "You're out?" We do not practice 00:07:33.220 --> 00:07:35.810 empathy. What does empathy look like? 00:07:35.810 --> 00:07:37.460 Here's the lack of empathy. This is 00:07:37.460 --> 00:07:39.470 normal in our business world. You walk 00:07:39.470 --> 00:07:40.880 into someone's office, someone walks into 00:07:40.880 --> 00:07:42.620 our office and says, "Your numbers have 00:07:42.620 --> 00:07:44.210 been down for the third quarter in a row. 00:07:44.210 --> 00:07:46.340 You have to pick up your numbers, 00:07:46.340 --> 00:07:48.290 otherwise I can't guarantee what the 00:07:48.290 --> 00:07:50.510 future will look like." How inspired do you 00:07:50.510 --> 00:07:52.250 think that person is to come to work the 00:07:52.250 --> 00:07:54.650 next day? Here's what empathy looks like. 00:07:54.650 --> 00:07:56.540 You walk into someone's office, someone 00:07:56.540 --> 00:07:57.680 walks into your office and says, "Your 00:07:57.680 --> 00:07:59.510 numbers are down for the third quarter 00:07:59.510 --> 00:08:03.050 in a row. Are you okay? I'm worried about 00:08:03.050 --> 00:08:03.620 you. 00:08:03.620 --> 00:08:06.860 What's going on?" We all have performance 00:08:06.860 --> 00:08:08.900 issues. Maybe someone's kid is sick, maybe 00:08:08.900 --> 00:08:09.950 they're having problems in their 00:08:09.950 --> 00:08:11.780 marriage, maybe one of their parents is 00:08:11.780 --> 00:08:14.000 dying. We don't know what's going on in 00:08:14.000 --> 00:08:16.070 their lives. And of course, it will affect 00:08:16.070 --> 00:08:18.650 performance at work. Empathy is being 00:08:18.650 --> 00:08:21.050 concerned about the human being, not just 00:08:21.050 --> 00:08:25.250 their output. We have, for some reason, our 00:08:25.250 --> 00:08:28.070 work world has changed in the past twenty 00:08:28.070 --> 00:08:31.310 and thirty years. We are suffering the side 00:08:31.310 --> 00:08:34.309 effects of business theories left over 00:08:34.309 --> 00:08:37.580 from the '80s and '90s. And they are bad 00:08:37.580 --> 00:08:41.799 for people, and they are bad for business. 00:08:41.799 --> 00:08:45.110 Let me give you an example. The concept 00:08:45.110 --> 00:08:48.290 of shareholder supremacy was a theory 00:08:48.290 --> 00:08:52.670 proposed in the late 1970s. It was 00:08:52.670 --> 00:08:56.540 popularized in the '80s and '90s. It is now 00:08:56.540 --> 00:08:59.680 standard form today. You talk to any 00:08:59.680 --> 00:09:01.910 public company, and you ask them their 00:09:01.910 --> 00:09:02.990 priority, and they say, "Maximize 00:09:02.990 --> 00:09:04.050 shareholder value." 00:09:04.050 --> 00:09:07.149 Really? That's like a coach prioritizing 00:09:07.149 --> 00:09:09.130 the needs of the fans over the needs of 00:09:09.130 --> 00:09:10.870 the players. How are you going to build a 00:09:10.870 --> 00:09:13.089 winning team with that model? But that's 00:09:13.089 --> 00:09:14.860 normal today. We don't even perceive it 00:09:14.860 --> 00:09:16.870 as broken or damaged or wrong or 00:09:16.870 --> 00:09:20.410 outdated. Remember, the '80s and '90s were 00:09:20.410 --> 00:09:23.980 boom years with relative peace and a 00:09:23.980 --> 00:09:25.959 kinder, gentler cold war. Nobody was 00:09:25.959 --> 00:09:28.029 practicing hiding under their desks in 00:09:28.029 --> 00:09:31.569 school anymore. We are no longer in those 00:09:31.569 --> 00:09:34.209 times. These are no longer boom years. 00:09:34.209 --> 00:09:36.850 These are no longer peaceful times, and 00:09:36.850 --> 00:09:39.569 those models cannot work today. 00:09:39.569 --> 00:09:45.370 Here's another one: mass layoffs--using 00:09:45.370 --> 00:09:47.860 someone's livelihood to balance the 00:09:47.860 --> 00:09:51.009 books. Right? It's so normal in America 00:09:51.009 --> 00:09:53.319 today that we don't even understand how 00:09:53.319 --> 00:09:55.630 broken and how damaging it is, not only 00:09:55.630 --> 00:09:58.089 to human beings but to business. You know, 00:09:58.089 --> 00:09:59.410 companies talk about how they want to 00:09:59.410 --> 00:10:00.610 build trust and cooperation, and then they 00:10:00.610 --> 00:10:02.139 announce a round of layoffs. Do you know 00:10:02.139 --> 00:10:04.300 the quickest way to destroy trust and 00:10:04.300 --> 00:10:06.009 destroy cooperation in a business-- 00:10:06.009 --> 00:10:09.399 literally in one day? Lay people off. And 00:10:09.399 --> 00:10:12.189 everyone gets scared. Right? Can you 00:10:12.189 --> 00:10:14.199 imagine sending someone home to say, 00:10:14.199 --> 00:10:15.850 "Honey, I can no longer provide for our 00:10:15.850 --> 00:10:17.439 family because the company missed its 00:10:17.439 --> 00:10:20.769 arbitrary projections this year?" And 00:10:20.769 --> 00:10:22.149 forget about the people who lost their 00:10:22.149 --> 00:10:24.160 jobs--think about the people who kept 00:10:24.160 --> 00:10:26.290 their jobs. Because every single decision 00:10:26.290 --> 00:10:27.790 a company makes is a piece of 00:10:27.790 --> 00:10:29.829 communication. And the company 00:10:29.829 --> 00:10:31.750 has just communicated to 00:10:31.750 --> 00:10:34.350 everybody else: This is not a meritocracy. 00:10:34.350 --> 00:10:37.060 We don't care how hard you work or how 00:10:37.060 --> 00:10:39.550 long you've worked here. If we miss our 00:10:39.550 --> 00:10:41.199 numbers and you happen to fall on the 00:10:41.199 --> 00:10:44.290 wrong side of the spreadsheet, I'm sorry, 00:10:44.290 --> 00:10:46.420 we cannot guarantee employment. In other 00:10:46.420 --> 00:10:48.490 words, we come to work every day afraid. 00:10:48.490 --> 00:10:51.579 And we're asking our youngest generation 00:10:51.579 --> 00:10:53.470 to work in environments where how would 00:10:53.470 --> 00:10:56.110 any of us ever stand up and admit, "I made 00:10:56.110 --> 00:10:58.480 a mistake." We're constantly being told, 00:10:58.480 --> 00:11:00.310 "You have to be vulnerable. Leaders are 00:11:00.310 --> 00:11:02.079 vulnerable." What does that even mean? It 00:11:02.079 --> 00:11:03.950 doesn't mean you walk around crying, "I'm 00:11:03.950 --> 00:11:07.820 vulnerable," right? No. What vulnerability 00:11:07.820 --> 00:11:09.290 means is you create an environment in 00:11:09.290 --> 00:11:11.810 which someone feels safe enough to raise 00:11:11.810 --> 00:11:14.120 their hand and say, "I don't know what 00:11:14.120 --> 00:11:14.840 I'm doing. 00:11:14.840 --> 00:11:17.030 You've given me a job, and I haven't been 00:11:17.030 --> 00:11:20.420 trained to do it. I need help. I made a 00:11:20.420 --> 00:11:23.930 mistake. I screwed something up. I'm 00:11:23.930 --> 00:11:24.710 scared. 00:11:24.710 --> 00:11:27.440 I'm worried." All of these things no one 00:11:27.440 --> 00:11:29.390 would ever admit inside a company 00:11:29.390 --> 00:11:31.310 because it puts a target on your head in 00:11:31.310 --> 00:11:33.950 case there's another round. And so, we 00:11:33.950 --> 00:11:35.600 keep it to ourselves. And how can a 00:11:35.600 --> 00:11:37.760 company ever do well if nobody's ever 00:11:37.760 --> 00:11:38.870 willing to a,dmit they made a mistake 00:11:38.870 --> 00:11:40.460 that they're scared, or they don't know what 00:11:40.460 --> 00:11:42.140 they're doing? And so, we've literally 00:11:42.140 --> 00:11:43.730 created cultures in which every single 00:11:43.730 --> 00:11:45.320 day, everybody comes to work and 00:11:45.320 --> 00:11:49.130 lies, hides, and fakes. And we're asking 00:11:49.130 --> 00:11:51.740 our youngest generation to work and 00:11:51.740 --> 00:11:54.170 succeed and find themselves and build 00:11:54.170 --> 00:11:56.330 their confidence and overcome their 00:11:56.330 --> 00:11:58.520 addiction to technology and build strong 00:11:58.520 --> 00:12:00.590 relationships at work. We're asking to do 00:12:00.590 --> 00:12:01.850 this, and these are the environments we've 00:12:01.850 --> 00:12:04.550 created. We keep saying to them, "You're 00:12:04.550 --> 00:12:08.680 the future leaders. We're the leaders now. 00:12:08.680 --> 00:12:14.660 We're in control." What are we doing? This 00:12:14.660 --> 00:12:17.210 is what empathy means: it means if 00:12:17.210 --> 00:12:19.520 there's an entire generation struggling, 00:12:19.520 --> 00:12:22.580 maybe it's not them. It's like, you know, 00:12:22.580 --> 00:12:25.040 the only thing that I, that, the common 00:12:25.040 --> 00:12:29.620 factor in all my failed relationships? Me. 00:12:29.620 --> 00:12:32.480 Same thing. "Well, we just can't get the 00:12:32.480 --> 00:12:33.440 right, you know, the right 00:12:33.440 --> 00:12:35.390 performance out of our people." Maybe it's 00:12:35.390 --> 00:12:39.560 you. Right? It's not a generation. It's not 00:12:39.560 --> 00:12:41.930 them. They're not difficult or hard to 00:12:41.930 --> 00:12:44.330 understand. They're human beings like the 00:12:44.330 --> 00:12:45.980 rest of us, trying to find their way, 00:12:45.980 --> 00:12:48.260 trying to work in a place where they 00:12:48.260 --> 00:12:50.750 feel that someone cares about them as a 00:12:50.750 --> 00:12:53.840 human being. By the way, that's what we 00:12:53.840 --> 00:12:57.110 all want. In other words, it's not even 00:12:57.110 --> 00:13:01.040 generational. It's all of us. This is the 00:13:01.040 --> 00:13:02.840 practice of empathy. That if we're 00:13:02.840 --> 00:13:04.910 struggling to communicate to someone, if 00:13:04.910 --> 00:13:06.890 we're struggling to help someone be at 00:13:06.890 --> 00:13:09.140 their natural best, I'm tired of people 00:13:09.140 --> 00:13:10.610 saying to me, "How do I get the best out 00:13:10.610 --> 00:13:12.050 of my people?" Really? That's what you want? 00:13:12.050 --> 00:13:13.880 They're like a towel, you just wring them? "How can 00:13:13.880 --> 00:13:16.880 I get the most out of them?" 00:13:16.880 --> 00:13:18.530 No. How do I help my people be at their 00:13:18.530 --> 00:13:21.680 natural best? Right? We're not asking 00:13:21.680 --> 00:13:22.760 these questions. We're not practicing 00:13:22.760 --> 00:13:23.330 empathy. 00:13:23.330 --> 00:13:25.250 We have to start by practicing empathy 00:13:25.250 --> 00:13:27.410 and relate to what they may be going 00:13:27.410 --> 00:13:29.240 through, and it will profoundly change 00:13:29.240 --> 00:13:30.710 the decisions we make; it will profoundly 00:13:30.710 --> 00:13:34.300 change the way we see the world. 00:13:34.300 --> 00:13:37.190 Someone's driving to work, you're driving 00:13:37.190 --> 00:13:39.020 to work, and someone wants to cut into 00:13:39.020 --> 00:13:41.180 your lane. What do you do? If you pull 00:13:41.180 --> 00:13:44.150 your car up, would you let them in? Most 00:13:44.150 --> 00:13:45.680 of us pull our cars up and go like this, 00:13:45.680 --> 00:13:49.100 "You wait your turn." Now, let's practice 00:13:49.100 --> 00:13:50.600 empathy. I don't know, maybe they've been 00:13:50.600 --> 00:13:52.040 out of work for six months. Maybe they 00:13:52.040 --> 00:13:53.300 had trouble getting the kids out to 00:13:53.300 --> 00:13:54.410 school this morning, and now they're 00:13:54.410 --> 00:13:56.180 running late for a really important 00:13:56.180 --> 00:13:57.680 interview, and they just have to get to 00:13:57.680 --> 00:13:58.910 this interview, and they're going to cut 00:13:58.910 --> 00:14:01.580 into our lane. Or maybe they're just a 00:14:01.580 --> 00:14:07.070 bastard, I don't know. But that's the 00:14:07.070 --> 00:14:11.030 point. We don't know. We don't know. And 00:14:11.030 --> 00:14:13.370 the practice of empathy will say, "I'll 00:14:13.370 --> 00:14:17.060 let them in, and I'll arrive to work one 00:14:17.060 --> 00:14:20.840 car length late." Right? We don't always 00:14:20.840 --> 00:14:23.660 have to be right. We do always have to be 00:14:23.660 --> 00:14:25.910 in charge. We don't have to be the one 00:14:25.910 --> 00:14:27.920 who succeeds. It's not about winning or 00:14:27.920 --> 00:14:30.290 losing. And that's where I go to the 00:14:30.290 --> 00:14:33.490 second point. After empathy comes 00:14:33.490 --> 00:14:36.350 perspective, where it's not about winning 00:14:36.350 --> 00:14:41.240 or losing. In game theory, there are two 00:14:41.240 --> 00:14:43.340 kinds of games. There are finite games 00:14:43.340 --> 00:14:45.890 and there are infinite games. And this is 00:14:45.890 --> 00:14:47.230 how you're going to change your perspective. 00:14:47.230 --> 00:14:51.110 Right? A finite game is defined as known 00:14:51.110 --> 00:14:54.200 players, fixed rules, and an agreed-upon 00:14:54.200 --> 00:14:58.160 objective. Baseball, for example, we know 00:14:58.160 --> 00:14:59.690 the rules, we all agree to the rules, and 00:14:59.690 --> 00:15:01.790 whoever has more runs at the end of nine 00:15:01.790 --> 00:15:03.350 innings is the winner, and the game is 00:15:03.350 --> 00:15:05.210 over. No one ever says, "If we can just 00:15:05.210 --> 00:15:06.680 play two more innings, I know we can come 00:15:06.680 --> 00:15:09.470 back." Doesn't work that way. The game is 00:15:09.470 --> 00:15:12.560 over. Right? That's a finite game. Then you 00:15:12.560 --> 00:15:15.110 have an infinite game. Infinite games are 00:15:15.110 --> 00:15:18.800 defined as known and unknown players, the 00:15:18.800 --> 00:15:21.710 rules are changeable, and the objective 00:15:21.710 --> 00:15:24.170 is to keep the game in play, to 00:15:24.170 --> 00:15:26.990 perpetuate the game. When you pit a 00:15:26.990 --> 00:15:28.790 finite player versus a finite player, 00:15:28.790 --> 00:15:30.920 this system is stable. 00:15:30.920 --> 00:15:34.910 Baseball is stable. Right? When you pit an 00:15:34.910 --> 00:15:36.710 infinite player versus an 00:15:36.710 --> 00:15:38.660 infinite player, this system is also 00:15:38.660 --> 00:15:40.760 stable, like the Cold War, for example, 00:15:40.760 --> 00:15:42.890 because there cannot be a winner and a 00:15:42.890 --> 00:15:44.600 loser, there are no winners and losers in 00:15:44.600 --> 00:15:46.850 an infinite game. Right? It doesn't exist. 00:15:46.850 --> 00:15:48.650 And because there are no winners or 00:15:48.650 --> 00:15:50.210 losers, what ends up happening in the 00:15:50.210 --> 00:15:52.640 infinite contest is players drop out 00:15:52.640 --> 00:15:54.830 when they run out of the will or the 00:15:54.830 --> 00:15:57.230 resources to play. But there's no winners 00:15:57.230 --> 00:16:01.220 or losers. Problems arise when you pit a 00:16:01.220 --> 00:16:03.110 finite player versus an infinite player. 00:16:03.110 --> 00:16:05.000 Because the finite player is playing to 00:16:05.000 --> 00:16:07.460 win, and an infinite player is to playing 00:16:07.460 --> 00:16:09.830 to keep the game going. Right? This is 00:16:09.830 --> 00:16:11.720 what happened to us in Vietnam. We were 00:16:11.720 --> 00:16:14.030 playing to win, and the Vietnamese were 00:16:14.030 --> 00:16:16.340 fighting for their lives. We were the 00:16:16.340 --> 00:16:18.140 ones who got stuck in quagmire. This was 00:16:18.140 --> 00:16:20.180 the Soviet Union in Afghanistan. They 00:16:20.180 --> 00:16:22.130 were trying to beat the mujahideen, and 00:16:22.130 --> 00:16:23.690 the mujahideen would fight for as long 00:16:23.690 --> 00:16:27.170 as necessary. Quagmire. Now, let's look 00:16:27.170 --> 00:16:31.130 at business. The game of business has 00:16:31.130 --> 00:16:32.960 preexisted or has existed long before 00:16:32.960 --> 00:16:35.030 every single company that exists on this 00:16:35.030 --> 00:16:38.480 planet today. And it will outlast every 00:16:38.480 --> 00:16:40.370 single company that exists 00:16:40.370 --> 00:16:42.920 on this planet today. There's no winning 00:16:42.920 --> 00:16:45.290 the game of business. And the reason is 00:16:45.290 --> 00:16:46.820 is because we haven't agreed to the 00:16:46.820 --> 00:16:49.850 rules. I get such a kick out of this. You 00:16:49.850 --> 00:16:51.470 realize how many companies actually 00:16:51.470 --> 00:16:53.720 don't know the game they're in. Right? 00:16:53.720 --> 00:16:55.040 Listen to the language that the companies 00:16:55.040 --> 00:16:56.750 use. "We're trying to beat our competition." 00:16:56.750 --> 00:16:59.300 "We're trying to be number one." Did you 00:16:59.300 --> 00:17:00.980 know that we were ranked number one? Look 00:17:00.980 --> 00:17:03.339 at the listing. Based on what criteria? 00:17:03.339 --> 00:17:05.959 Revenues? Profits? Market share? Square 00:17:05.959 --> 00:17:08.030 footage? Number of employees? Based on 00:17:08.030 --> 00:17:09.920 what time frame? A quarter? A year? Five 00:17:09.920 --> 00:17:11.689 years? Ten years? Twenty years? Fifty years? A hundred 00:17:11.689 --> 00:17:13.310 years? I haven't agreed to those 00:17:13.310 --> 00:17:15.140 standards. How can you declare yourself 00:17:15.140 --> 00:17:15.980 the winner? 00:17:15.980 --> 00:17:17.720 How can you declare yourself number one 00:17:17.720 --> 00:17:19.579 where no one else in the game has agreed 00:17:19.579 --> 00:17:23.630 to the rules? It's arbitrary. There is no 00:17:23.630 --> 00:17:27.230 winning because there's no end. In other 00:17:27.230 --> 00:17:29.720 words, companies are playing finite games. 00:17:29.720 --> 00:17:31.820 Listen to their language. They're trying 00:17:31.820 --> 00:17:33.710 to beat their competition. What does that 00:17:33.710 --> 00:17:37.280 even mean? It's the leaders and the 00:17:37.280 --> 00:17:38.840 companies that understand the game that 00:17:38.840 --> 00:17:40.550 they're in and organize their resources 00:17:40.550 --> 00:17:42.120 and their decision-making around 00:17:42.120 --> 00:17:44.630 the infinite contest that outlast and 00:17:44.630 --> 00:17:47.940 frustrate their competition. All the 00:17:47.940 --> 00:17:49.470 companies that we've referred to as the 00:17:49.470 --> 00:17:52.500 exceptions--Southwest Airlines, Apple 00:17:52.500 --> 00:17:55.290 Computers, Harley Davidson--they're the 00:17:55.290 --> 00:17:57.360 exception. No. They're playing the 00:17:57.360 --> 00:17:59.910 infinite contest. They frustrate their 00:17:59.910 --> 00:18:03.150 competition is what happens. That's what 00:18:03.150 --> 00:18:04.440 happens because they're not playing to 00:18:04.440 --> 00:18:05.450 win. 00:18:05.450 --> 00:18:08.520 Jim Senegal, the founder of Costco, which 00:18:08.520 --> 00:18:10.050 is the only real company that 00:18:10.050 --> 00:18:11.490 gives Walmart a run for its money. 00:18:11.490 --> 00:18:13.940 He says, "Public companies are looking to 00:18:13.940 --> 00:18:15.870 succeed for the quarter." He says, "We're 00:18:15.870 --> 00:18:17.400 looking for the next fifty years." You can 00:18:17.400 --> 00:18:18.870 hear him. He's playing the infinite 00:18:18.870 --> 00:18:22.610 contest. I spoke at a leadership summit 00:18:22.610 --> 00:18:25.890 for Microsoft. I also spoke at a 00:18:25.890 --> 00:18:28.740 leadership summit for Apple. Now, at the 00:18:28.740 --> 00:18:31.140 Microsoft summit, I would say 70% of the 00:18:31.140 --> 00:18:33.030 executives, and this was under the Steve 00:18:33.030 --> 00:18:35.429 Ballmer days, I would say about 70% of 00:18:35.429 --> 00:18:38.220 the executives spent about 70% of their 00:18:38.220 --> 00:18:40.830 presentations talking about how to beat 00:18:40.830 --> 00:18:45.720 Apple. At the Apple summit, a 100% 00:18:45.720 --> 00:18:47.429 of the executives spent a 00:18:47.429 --> 00:18:48.870 100% of their presentations 00:18:48.870 --> 00:18:51.030 talking about how to help teachers teach 00:18:51.030 --> 00:18:53.700 and how to help students learn. One was 00:18:53.700 --> 00:18:56.010 obsessed with their competition, the 00:18:56.010 --> 00:18:57.390 other one was obsessed with where 00:18:57.390 --> 00:18:59.550 they're going. So at the end of my 00:18:59.550 --> 00:19:03.120 presentation at Microsoft, they gave me a 00:19:03.120 --> 00:19:05.370 gift. They gave me the new Zune, which was 00:19:05.370 --> 00:19:07.230 the competitor to the iPod Touch when it 00:19:07.230 --> 00:19:09.450 was a thing. Right? And I have to tell you, 00:19:09.450 --> 00:19:12.320 this piece of technology was spectacular. 00:19:12.320 --> 00:19:15.540 It was beautiful. The user interface was 00:19:15.540 --> 00:19:18.000 incredible. The design was amazing. It was 00:19:18.000 --> 00:19:20.220 intuitive. It was one of the most 00:19:20.220 --> 00:19:21.840 beautiful, elegant pieces of technology 00:19:21.840 --> 00:19:24.390 I'd ever seen. Right? Now, they didn't work 00:19:24.390 --> 00:19:25.710 with iTunes, which is an entirely 00:19:25.710 --> 00:19:28.211 different problem. I couldn't use it. 00:19:28.211 --> 00:19:30.980 [Audience laughing]. 00:19:30.980 --> 00:19:36.450 But that's something else. I'm sitting in 00:19:36.450 --> 00:19:38.370 the back of a taxi with a senior Apple 00:19:38.370 --> 00:19:40.169 executive, sort of employee number 12 00:19:40.169 --> 00:19:43.730 kind of guy, and I decide to stir the pot. 00:19:43.730 --> 00:19:48.390 And I turn to him and I say, "You know, I spoke 00:19:48.390 --> 00:19:50.820 at a Microsoft summit, and they gave me 00:19:50.820 --> 00:19:53.520 their new Zune, and I have to tell you, it 00:19:53.520 --> 00:19:57.590 is so much better than your iPod Touch." 00:19:57.590 --> 00:20:01.890 And he turned to me and said, "I have no 00:20:01.890 --> 00:20:04.683 doubt." Conversation over. 00:20:04.683 --> 00:20:10.020 [Audience laughing]. 00:20:10.020 --> 00:20:13.530 Because the infinite player isn't playing to be 00:20:13.530 --> 00:20:16.169 number one every day with every product. 00:20:16.169 --> 00:20:18.030 They're playing to outlast the 00:20:18.030 --> 00:20:20.190 competition. If I had said to Microsoft, 00:20:20.190 --> 00:20:21.600 "Oh, I've got the new iPod Touch, it's so 00:20:21.600 --> 00:20:22.890 much better than your new Zune," they would have said, 00:20:22.890 --> 00:20:24.480 "Can we see it? What does it do? How--We 00:20:24.480 --> 00:20:26.789 have to see it." Because one is obsessed 00:20:26.789 --> 00:20:28.260 with their competition, the other is 00:20:28.260 --> 00:20:30.000 obsessed with why they do what they do, 00:20:30.000 --> 00:20:31.890 the other is obsessed with where they're 00:20:31.890 --> 00:20:34.380 going. And the reason Apple frustrates 00:20:34.380 --> 00:20:35.970 their competition is because secretly, 00:20:35.970 --> 00:20:38.159 they're not even competing against them. 00:20:38.159 --> 00:20:40.590 They're competing against themselves. And 00:20:40.590 --> 00:20:43.470 they understand that sometimes you're a 00:20:43.470 --> 00:20:45.480 little bit ahead, and sometimes you're a 00:20:45.480 --> 00:20:47.520 little bit behind. And sometimes your 00:20:47.520 --> 00:20:49.770 product is better, and sometimes you're 00:20:49.770 --> 00:20:51.929 not. But if you wake up every single 00:20:51.929 --> 00:20:54.929 morning and compete against yourself, how 00:20:54.929 --> 00:20:56.730 do I make our products better than they 00:20:56.730 --> 00:20:58.679 were yesterday? How do I take care of our 00:20:58.679 --> 00:21:00.150 customers better than we did yesterday? 00:21:00.150 --> 00:21:02.250 How do we advance our cause more 00:21:02.250 --> 00:21:05.010 efficiently, more productively than we 00:21:05.010 --> 00:21:06.690 did yesterday? How do we find new 00:21:06.690 --> 00:21:08.880 solutions to advance our calling, our 00:21:08.880 --> 00:21:10.830 cause, our purpose, our beliefs, our why 00:21:10.830 --> 00:21:12.870 every single day? What you'll find is, 00:21:12.870 --> 00:21:16.950 over time, you will probably be ahead 00:21:16.950 --> 00:21:19.230 more often. Those who play the infinite 00:21:19.230 --> 00:21:20.760 game understand it's not about the 00:21:20.760 --> 00:21:23.880 battle, it's about the war. And they don't 00:21:23.880 --> 00:21:27.480 play to win every day, and they frustrate 00:21:27.480 --> 00:21:29.010 their competition until their 00:21:29.010 --> 00:21:31.200 competition drops out of the game. Every 00:21:31.200 --> 00:21:33.210 single bankruptcy, almost every merger 00:21:33.210 --> 00:21:35.130 and acquisition is basically a company 00:21:35.130 --> 00:21:36.720 saying, "We no longer have the will or the 00:21:36.720 --> 00:21:38.549 resources to continue to play, and we 00:21:38.549 --> 00:21:39.990 have no choice but to either drop out of the 00:21:39.990 --> 00:21:40.809 game or 00:21:40.809 --> 00:21:42.519 or merge our resources with another 00:21:42.519 --> 00:21:44.259 player so that we can stay in the game." 00:21:44.259 --> 00:21:46.570 That's what that is. And if you think 00:21:46.570 --> 00:21:47.769 about the number of bankruptcies and 00:21:47.769 --> 00:21:49.539 mergers and acquisitions, it's kind of 00:21:49.539 --> 00:21:51.669 proof that most companies don't even 00:21:51.669 --> 00:21:54.309 know the game they're in. You want to be 00:21:54.309 --> 00:21:56.259 a great leader? Start with empathy. You 00:21:56.259 --> 00:21:58.899 want to be a great leader? Change your 00:21:58.899 --> 00:22:01.149 perspective and play the game you're 00:22:01.149 --> 00:22:05.029 actually playing. Thank you very much. 00:22:05.029 --> 00:22:08.199 [Applause]