OSCAR: Who goes there?

You'll like it.

Old Nasty Dan was the meanest man I ever knew.

He'd stomp and scream and be real mean the whole day through.

OSCAR: Yeah?

He'd frown a bunch, he ate nails for lunch and he'd never laugh.

OSCAR: Well, I'd like him.

He'd growl and yell and I heard tell he never took a bath.

Nasty Dan, was a nasty man.

OSCAR: Yeah?

Hard to understand, that Nasty Dan.

Now, Nasty Dan was a nasty man the whole day long.

OSCAR: Good for him.

He'd go where he could and he'd try real good to make

things go wrong.

He'd jump for joy when a little boy

would trip and fall.

OSCAR: Really mean.

And the only words that he ever said were, "I don't like

you at all."

OSCAR: Yeah, right on!

Nasty Dan was a nasty man.

Hard to understand, that Nasty Dan.

Now here's the best part.

It's about a girl named Nasty Pearl.

OSCAR: Oh, she sounds OK, too.

Nasty Pearl was a nasty girl who met Dan somehow.

She said, "You're like me, rotten as can be.

Let's get married now." So they went and they did and had

a nasty kid, and I must confess, that Dan pretty much

leaves everybody alone now and he doesn't bother anybody

anymore, because he just lives in his nasty ol' house with

his nasty ol' wife--

OSCAR: Yeah?

--and his nasty kid--

OSCAR: Yeah?

--in nasty happiness.

OSCAR: Far out!

Nasty Dan, he's a happy man.

Hard to understand, that Nasty Dan.

OSCAR: Wow. That was really great!

You like that?

OSCAR: And say, aren't you Johnny Trash?

Cash.

OSCAR: Cash, Cash.

Have a rotten day.

OSCAR: Wow. There goes my kind of guy.