9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 You noticed I'm holding q-cards. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I'm holding q-cards 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 because they are going to help me[br]focus on my message 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 while at the same time,[br]shielding me from painful memories, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and intrusive thoughs, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 because my story [br]isn't an easy one to tell. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 In fact, every time I tell my story, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I'm re-traumatised. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But if sharing my story means 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 that one more girl [br]has a chance of freedom, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 then it's worth it for me. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Growing up in my family wasn't easy, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 mental health problems, and abuse 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 can destabilise a family. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But, abuse doesn't just exist in a vacuum. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 It doesn't just start or stop[br]in one idividual's life, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 it permiates every action[br]and activity of their being. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Mental health problems[br]and abuse led to neglect, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and neglect left me [br]on the streets of Scarborough, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 as a very young girl. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I distinctly recall going back to school. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 Remember each year[br]the teacher would ask us? 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 "Write down what you did last summer." 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I was so ashamed, I was paralised. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I didn't go to summer camp. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 No, I didn't go to the cottage. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I was the kid [br]that played outside all day long. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 There was no regular structure. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 There was no routine for most anything. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 One summer, I was raped by a stranger, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 and other, abuse integrated[br]by the neigborhood boys. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 I was always in fight or flight mode. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 It seemed like danger was lurking[br]around and every corner. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 What I learned that summer 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 was how to remain hypervigilant,[br]how to avoid attack, 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 something that no young girl[br]should ever have to learn. 9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000 But it didn't stop the neighborhood boys.