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You noticed I'm holding q-cards.

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I'm holding q-cards

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because they are going to help me
focus on my message

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while at the same time,
shielding me from painful memories,

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and intrusive thoughs,

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because my story 
isn't an easy one to tell.

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In fact, every time I tell my story,

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I'm re-traumatised.

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But if sharing my story means

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that one more girl 
has a chance of freedom,

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then it's worth it for me.

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Growing up in my family wasn't easy,

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mental health problems, and abuse

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can destabilise a family.

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But, abuse doesn't just exist in a vacuum.

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It doesn't just start or stop
in one idividual's life,

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it permiates every action
and activity of their being.

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Mental health problems
and abuse led to neglect,

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and neglect left me 
on the streets of Scarborough,

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as a very young girl.

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I distinctly recall going back to school.

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Remember each year
the teacher would ask us?

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"Write down what you did last summer."

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I was so ashamed, I was paralised.

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I didn't go to summer camp.

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No, I didn't go to the cottage.

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I was the kid 
that played outside all day long.

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There was no regular structure.

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There was no routine for most anything.

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One summer, I was raped by a stranger,

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and other, abuse integrated
by the neigborhood boys.

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I was always in fight or flight mode.

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It seemed like danger was lurking
around and every corner.

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What I learned that summer

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was how to remain hypervigilant,
how to avoid attack,

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something that no young girl
should ever have to learn.

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But it didn't stop the neighborhood boys.