You noticed I'm holding q-cards.
I'm holding q-cards
because they are going to help me focus on my message
while at the same time, shielding me from painful memories,
and intrusive thoughs,
because my story isn't an easy one to tell.
In fact, every time I tell my story,
I'm re-traumatised.
But if sharing my story means
that one more girl has a chance of freedom,
then it's worth it for me.
Growing up in my family wasn't easy,
mental health problems, and abuse
can destabilise a family.
But, abuse doesn't just exist in a vacuum.
It doesn't just start or stop in one idividual's life,
it permiates every action and activity of their being.
Mental health problems and abuse led to neglect,
and neglect left me on the streets of Scarborough,
as a very young girl.
I distinctly recall going back to school.
Remember each year the teacher would ask us?
"Write down what you did last summer."
I was so ashamed, I was paralised.
I didn't go to summer camp.
No, I didn't go to the cottage.
I was the kid that played outside all day long.
There was no regular structure.
There was no routine for most anything.
One summer, I was raped by a stranger,
and other, abuse integrated by the neigborhood boys.
I was always in fight or flight mode.
It seemed like danger was lurking around and every corner.
What I learned that summer
was how to remain hypervigilant, how to avoid attack,
something that no young girl should ever have to learn.
But it didn't stop the neighborhood boys.