0:00:00.000,0:00:01.613 Even if you don't understand, 0:00:01.613,0:00:03.363 You can still suppport us. 0:00:03.502,0:00:05.180 Our identity remains valid, 0:00:05.180,0:00:06.108 and it exists. 0:00:06.375,0:00:09.008 "Testimonials: Non-binary Identities" 0:00:09.103,0:00:11.245 I'm Cami, I'm 22, I'm non-binary, 0:00:11.245,0:00:12.920 and I'm here to talk to you about non-binary identities. 0:00:13.120,0:00:14.770 Non-binary is an umbrella term 0:00:15.008,0:00:17.114 which includes all gender identites 0:00:17.114,0:00:19.094 that are neither exclusively masculine 0:00:19.094,0:00:20.588 nor exclusively feminine. 0:00:20.706,0:00:22.642 This can include a-gender identities- 0:00:22.642,0:00:25.081 those that involve the absence of gender or a neutral gender- 0:00:25.081,0:00:27.473 or this can include fluid identities, 0:00:27.473,0:00:31.001 as if we imagined gender as a spectrum with two ends: 0:00:31.001,0:00:31.863 Maculine and feminine. 0:00:32.104,0:00:33.910 One may have a position on this spectrum that shifts. 0:00:34.053,0:00:38.837 Including those who are genderfluid, demigender, pangender, etc. 0:00:39.324,0:00:41.894 I never really identified with femininity. 0:00:42.543,0:00:43.831 When I was 18, 0:00:43.831,0:00:47.732 I started questioning my gender identity. 0:00:47.865,0:00:49.604 And I met a trans man 0:00:49.604,0:00:51.583 who I spent some time with 0:00:51.858,0:00:54.731 and together, we found the right words to describe my identity- 0:00:54.731,0:00:56.082 which is non-binary. 0:00:56.780,0:00:57.747 I think that since 0:00:57.747,0:00:59.209 he had much more information than I did, 0:00:59.209,0:01:01.999 he was able to help me find the words 0:01:01.999,0:01:03.206 regarding my identity. 0:01:03.323,0:01:05.244 Gender identity is who we are; 0:01:05.244,0:01:07.064 it's the gender we feel, 0:01:07.064,0:01:08.936 that we live, and experiment, 0:01:09.029,0:01:10.289 and gender expression 0:01:10.289,0:01:13.230 is what we present to others, 0:01:13.230,0:01:15.800 It's the way that we express this identity. 0:01:15.966,0:01:18.026 So, one can have a gender identity, 0:01:18.026,0:01:19.685 for example, masculine : 0:01:19.853,0:01:21.263 So, one may be a man, 0:01:21.263,0:01:23.648 and still have a gender expression that is feminine, 0:01:23.648,0:01:25.934 with many markers considered feminine in society. 0:01:25.934,0:01:27.481 For example, Bilal Hassani, 0:01:27.481,0:01:28.492 who is a man 0:01:28.492,0:01:31.193 with a feminine gender expression. 0:01:31.193,0:01:34.775 I told my parents that I was non-binary 0:01:34.777,0:01:36.401 and that I wanted to change my name 0:01:36.401,0:01:37.074 at the same time. 0:01:37.670,0:01:39.272 I was 20 years old, 0:01:39.272,0:01:40.705 so it was two years ago. 0:01:41.635,0:01:43.469 My mother took it very well; 0:01:43.469,0:01:46.631 she was already well versed in the topic of gender. 0:01:46.893,0:01:49.387 She was open-minded and very supportive. 0:01:49.387,0:01:50.367 I felt safe. 0:01:51.119,0:01:53.033 With my father, it was a bit more complicated. 0:01:53.192,0:01:54.944 It took me longer to tell him, 0:01:54.944,0:01:57.896 and I didn’t do it in person. 0:01:57.896,0:01:58.999 I sent him a message actually, 0:01:58.999,0:02:00.716 because it was easier for me to handle. 0:02:02.058,0:02:03.453 He reacted fairly well, 0:02:03.453,0:02:06.676 he said he didn’t understand everything, but that he would be there to support me 0:02:06.676,0:02:08.346 and that it didn’t change anything for him 0:02:08.346,0:02:09.330 and he still loved me the same. 0:02:09.448,0:02:11.191 With my grandmother, it was a little harder, 0:02:11.891,0:02:14.544 because it was something very foreign to her. 0:02:14.544,0:02:17.202 She grew up in the country, then moved to Paris, 0:02:17.204,0:02:20.054 She lived with my grandfather for 50 years. 0:02:20.054,0:02:22.544 She was part of a very cis-heteronormative framework 0:02:22.544,0:02:24.809 where she had never questioned her own identity 0:02:24.809,0:02:25.749 or others' identities. 0:02:26.216,0:02:28.649 So when I told her about it, she was a bit taken aback. 0:02:29.185,0:02:32.177 but she was always careful 0:02:32.177,0:02:35.026 to treat me in the best possible way. 0:02:35.186,0:02:36.328 She has made enormous efforts, 0:02:36.328,0:02:37.648 and almost never makes mistakes anymore 0:02:37.648,0:02:38.963 in using my chosen name. 0:02:39.133,0:02:43.133 I applied for a name change in 2019. 0:02:43.568,0:02:45.654 I submitted a request 0:02:45.654,0:02:47.811 to the town hall of the city where I lived. 0:02:48.318,0:02:50.641 I picked up an application form, which I filled out 0:02:50.641,0:02:52.847 with testimonies from my loved ones 0:02:52.847,0:02:56.191 stating that they used the name Cami to refer to me. 0:02:56.623,0:03:00.623 I asked my school to provide a letter of support, etc. 0:03:00.718,0:03:03.760 Then I submitted my file and waited a few months- 0:03:03.760,0:03:05.208 It varies depending on the town hall 0:03:05.438,0:03:07.663 and my request for a name change was approved. 0:03:07.854,0:03:08.981 Misgendering someone 0:03:08.981,0:03:10.941 means addressing them 0:03:10.941,0:03:12.870 using incorrect pronouns. 0:03:13.246,0:03:15.136 So, misgendering a non-binary person 0:03:15.136,0:03:17.546 who has explicitly stated 0:03:17.546,0:03:20.490 that they use neutral pronouns like “they” 0:03:20.490,0:03:23.643 and instead referring to them with masculine or feminine pronouns. 0:03:24.094,0:03:27.257 Personally, I use feminine pronouns when speaking 0:03:27.257,0:03:28.971 and neutral when writing. 0:03:29.480,0:03:32.858 And generally, I tend to mention this right away: 0:03:32.958,0:03:36.511 I prefer to be addressed with feminine pronouns in speech. 0:03:36.768,0:03:38.519 Then, if the person doesn't do it on their own 0:03:38.519,0:03:42.519 and you want to be sure you're doing it right, 0:03:42.626,0:03:44.566 you can ask them their pronouns directly 0:03:44.566,0:03:47.094 or wait until the person refers to themselves 0:03:47.094,0:03:48.348 so you can follow their lead. 0:03:48.763,0:03:51.243 In the videos I have made previously, 0:03:51.322,0:03:52.862 there were many comments 0:03:52.862,0:03:55.202 that actually invalidate our identities, 0:03:55.502,0:03:58.980 that deny our gender expressions 0:03:58.980,0:04:00.478 and our gender identities. 0:04:00.813,0:04:03.617 I hardly ever read those comments 0:04:03.617,0:04:05.291 because I know that most of them 0:04:05.291,0:04:08.614 are either malicious or very insensitive 0:04:08.614,0:04:10.004 and that they would only upset me. 0:04:10.138,0:04:12.486 I once participated in a documentary 0:04:12.497,0:04:15.538 where people claimed that being non-binary was just a trend, 0:04:15.538,0:04:18.173 that it had only emerged a few years ago 0:04:18.173,0:04:19.433 in the United States, 10 years ago, 0:04:19.793,0:04:21.586 and that it was tied to fashion, 0:04:21.890,0:04:24.407 like the unisex clothing trend, etc. 0:04:24.722,0:04:25.587 Which is completely false. 0:04:25.587,0:04:27.936 And I think that it is also 0:04:27.936,0:04:32.592 a very white-centered and Eurocentric perspective. 0:04:33.016,0:04:34.999 Because in many cultures, 0:04:34.999,0:04:37.067 multiple gender identities exist, 0:04:37.166,0:04:39.095 that were completely erased 0:04:39.374,0:04:41.054 during colonization quite simply. 0:04:41.054,0:04:44.654 Quite often, we hear that it is problematic 0:04:44.654,0:04:45.979 or bothersome 0:04:45.979,0:04:47.759 to create more and more identity categories 0:04:47.759,0:04:49.919 to identify and re-identify oneself, etc. 0:04:49.919,0:04:51.764 But I think that it is extremely important 0:04:51.764,0:04:55.066 to be able to first identify with something 0:04:55.066,0:04:57.586 in order to detach oneself from an identity 0:04:57.586,0:04:59.181 that was arbitrarily assigned to us 0:04:59.181,0:05:00.616 I think that yes, it is necessary 0:05:00.616,0:05:02.386 to also find oneself in a community 0:05:02.386,0:05:03.300 to build connections 0:05:03.300,0:05:04.339 and know that we are not alone, 0:05:04.339,0:05:05.256 that there is support, 0:05:05.256,0:05:07.777 that there are other people like us 0:05:07.777,0:05:09.148 who understand us and who listen to us. 0:05:09.148,0:05:10.738 If I had just one thing to say, 0:05:11.228,0:05:13.414 I think it would be that even if you don’t understand, 0:05:13.414,0:05:15.762 you can still support and accompany others. 0:05:15.762,0:05:19.350 You can learn, you can deconstruct ways of thinking, 0:05:19.350,0:05:21.420 you can educate yourself, 0:05:21.420,0:05:23.026 you can help your loved ones, 0:05:23.026,0:05:24.444 even if you don’t fully grasp the entirety 0:05:24.444,0:05:28.174 of what defining their gender identity means. 0:05:28.313,0:05:29.585 Another thing is that 0:05:29.585,0:05:30.971 all non-binary people 0:05:30.971,0:05:34.531 have different ways of expressing their identity. 0:05:34.531,0:05:37.753 Some people will undergo medical transitions, 0:05:37.753,0:05:39.557 take hormones, have surgeries, 0:05:39.557,0:05:40.326 while others will not. 0:05:40.448,0:05:43.104 And regardless of the way in which 0:05:43.104,0:05:46.991 someone transitions socially, medically, or not at all, 0:05:46.991,0:05:50.142 our identity remains legitimate and it exists. 0:05:50.142,0:05:52.684 And there are many of us.