0:00:00.000,0:00:03.630
Even if you don't understand, [br]you can still support and uplift us.

0:00:03.630,0:00:06.360
Our identities continue to be legitimate [br]and to exist.

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[Non-binary Stories]

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I'm Cami, I'm 22 years old, [br]I'm non-binary,

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and I'm here to talk about my identity.

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Non-binary is an umbrella term[br]that includes all gender identities

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that are not exclusively masculine [br]or exclusively feminine.

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So, it represents both agender, [br]"a" meaning subtraction,

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without gender, which is neutral [br]and also all the fluid gender identities

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like if we imagine gender as a spectrum [br]with two sides, masculine and feminine,

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and a cursor that moves. [br]So, all the people who are

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genderfluid, demigender, pangender, etc.

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I never really identified with femininity.

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When I was 18, [br]I started to ask myself questions

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about my gender identity [br]and I met a trans man,

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who I was with for some time,[br]and we finally put my identity into words

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which were non-binary.

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I think it's because he had[br]way more info than me,

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that he knew how to help find [br]the words for my identity.

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Gender identity is what we are.

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It's the gender we feel, live, [br]and experiment with

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and gender expression[br]is what we show others.

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It's how we express that identity.

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So, you could have, [br]for example, a gender identity

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that is masculine: so, a man,[br]and you could have

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a feminine gender expression [br]and present using markers

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considered to be feminine.

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Like Bilal Hassani, who is a man

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with a feminine gender expression.

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I told my parents I was non-binary

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and that I also wanted to change my name[br]at the same time.

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I was 20, so that was 2 years ago,

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and my mom took the news very well.

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She was already up to date [br]with gender issues.

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She had deconstructed those concepts[br]and was very safe.

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I felt secure.

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With my dad, [br]it was a little more delicate.

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I took a little more time to talk to him[br]and I didn't do it in person.

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I sent him a message[br]because it was easier for me to handle,

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and he reacted pretty well.

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He said he didn't understand everything,[br]but he would support me

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and that it changed nothing for him,[br]that he loved me the same.

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With my grandma, it was a little tricky[br]because it's something

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very unfamiliar for her.

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She grew up in the countryside.[br]Then, she moved to Paris.

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She lived with my grandpa for 50 years.

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She lived in contexts that were cis[br]and heteronormative,

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she never really asked herself[br]about her identity or others'.

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So, when I discussed it with her, [br]she was shocked,

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but she's always looked out [br]and wanted the best for me.

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She's trying her best;

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she rarely makes any mistakes [br]with my name now.

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I made a request to change my name[br]in 2019.

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I submitted the request to the city[br]I was living in.

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I obtained a form [br]that I filled with evidence

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from my friends that proved they use[br]the name Cami when referring to me.

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I asked my school to write[br]a letter of support.

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Then, I submitted my form. [br]I waited a couple of months.

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The time varies from city to city.

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And I got my name change accepted.

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The act of misgendering someone,[br]is to address that person

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while using the wrong pronouns for them.

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Using gendered pronouns[br]for a non-binary person

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who explicitly said to use[br]neutral pronouns like "them"

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and to refer to them[br]with feminine or masculine pronouns.

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Personally, I use feminine pronouns

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when speaking [br]and neutral ones when writing.

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But, in general, [br]I have a habit of saying right away

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that I prefer to use [br]feminine pronouns when speaking.

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If a person doesn't do that

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and you want to make sure [br]you're using the right pronouns,

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you can ask for them or wait[br]until the person refers to themselves

0:03:47.072,0:03:48.642
and follow their lead.

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In the videos I've made previously, [br]there are a lot of comments

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invalidating and denying[br]our gender expression and identity.

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Personally, [br]I rarely read those kinds of comments

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because I know [br]that most of them are malicious

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or very insensitive [br]and will just bother me.

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I've already participated in a report [br]where there were comments like:

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this is just a trend,[br]that it's only appeared

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in the last few years in the US,[br]10 years ago,

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that it had a connection to fashion,[br]the unisex fashion trend, etc.

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Well, that's completely false.[br]I think that it's also

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a very white[br]and very Eurocentric perspective

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because in a lot of cultures,[br]we find many gender identities

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that were fully erased [br]during colonization, simply put.

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Frequently, we hear that it's problematic[br]or that it's annoying to recreate

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more and more ways to identify[br]and re-identify etc.,

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but I think that it's super important[br]to be able to, primarily,

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identify as something[br]so you can un-identify from an identity

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that was assigned to you randomly.

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I think that it's also necessary[br]to find yourself a community,

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to make friends,[br]know you're not alone,

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that there's support, [br]and that there's other people like us,

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that know and listen to us.

0:05:09.133,0:05:13.416
If I had only one thing to say,[br]it would be: even if you don't understand,

0:05:13.416,0:05:15.703
you can still support and uplift us.

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You can learn,[br]you can deconstruct your ways of thinking.

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You can educate yourself,

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help your friends,[br]even if you don't understand everything

0:05:24.456,0:05:28.249
about their gender identity.

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A second thing,

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is that all non-binary people [br]have different ways

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of expressing their identity,[br]there are some

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who will medically transition,[br]take hormones,

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undergo surgery,[br]while others won't,

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and no matter the ways[br]in which we transition or not,

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socially, medically, etc.,[br]our identities continue to be legitimate,

0:05:48.942,0:05:52.695
they exist, and we aren't going anywhere.