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Even if you don't understand,

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you can always [br]support and be there for us.

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Our identity is legitimate and real.

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Testimonies: Non-binary Identities

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My name is Cami, I'm 22 years old,[br]I'm non-binary

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And I'm here to talk to you about[br]non-binary identities.

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Non-binary is an umbrella term

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that encompasses all gender identities

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that are neither exclusively masculine

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nor exclusively feminine.

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This could mean being agender,

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without a gender, which is neutral,

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or it could include all fluid identities.

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If you imagine gender as a spectrum[br]with masculine and feminine poles,

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some people move along the spectrum

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like genderfluid, demigender, [br]pangender people, etc.

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I never really identified with femininity.

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At 18, I began questioning [br]my gender identity.

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I met a trans man, [br]and we dated for a while.

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Together, we found the words[br]to describe my identity: non-binary.

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He was much more informed than I was,

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so he helped me find the right words.

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Gender identity is who we are.

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It's the gender we feel and experience.

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Gender expression is what [br]we show to others.

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It's how we express our identity.

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Someone might have a [br]masculine gender identity

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but express themselves[br]in a feminine way

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with markers seen as feminine in society.

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Like Bilal Hassani for example, [br]a man with feminine gender expression.

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I told my parents I was non-binary.

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I also said I wanted to change my name.

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I was 20, so that was two years ago.

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My mom took it very well.

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She was already very knowledgeable about [br]gender issues.

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She was very supportive and safe.

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With my dad, it was a bit harder.

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I didn't tell him in person.

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I messaged him, it was easier that way.

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He reacted pretty well.

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He said he didn't fully understand, [br]but would support me regardless.

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That his love for me hadn't changed.

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For my grandma, it was tricky[br]because this was a foreign concept to her.

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She grew up in the countryside[br]and then moved to Paris.

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She lived with my grandpa for 50 years.

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Her world was very heteronormative.

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She never questioned her own identity[br]or that of others.

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When I talked to her about it,[br]she was quite taken aback.

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But she always made sure to treat me well.

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She makes a lot of effort and hardly ever [br]uses my deadname anymore.

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I applied for a name change in 2019.

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I applied at the town hall[br]of the city where I lived.

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I picked up a form and filled it out[br]with testimonials from my friends

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who explained that they used [br]the name "Cami" when addressing me.

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I also asked my school [br]for a support letter.

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After submitting my application, [br]I waited a few months.

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It depends on the city hall,

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and then my name change was approved.

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Misgendering is addressing someone [br]by using the wrong pronouns.

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For example, using gendered pronouns [br]for someone who explicitly uses "they",

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like calling them "he" or "she".

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Personally, I use feminine pronouns [br]when speaking, neutral when writing.

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I usually mention my preference right away.

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I prefer to be addressed [br]using feminine pronouns when speaking.

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If someone doesn't do this automatically[br]and you want to address them correctly,

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you can directly ask for their pronouns[br]or wait for them to specify their gender.

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In videos I've made before,

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there were many comments [br]invalidating our gender identities,

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and rejecting our gender expression.

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I don't read those comments much

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Because I know they are mostly [br]malicious or very clumsy.

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They would only end up hurting me.

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I once participated in a documentary[br]that said being non-binary was a trend.

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That it appeared in the U.S. [br]just ten years ago,

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and was really just linked to [br]fashion trends like unisex clothing.

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That's completely false.

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I think it's a very white, [br]Eurocentric perspective.

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Many cultures that had multiple genders[br]were entirely erased during colonization.

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Often, people say it's problematic

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or bothersome to keep creating categories[br]to identify and re-identify ourselves.

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However, I think it's crucial to be able [br]to identify with something first,

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to disassociate from an identity[br]that was arbitrarily assigned to us.

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It's necessary to find community, [br]to create bonds, to know you're not alone,

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know that there's support, [br]that there are others who understand us.

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If I had one thing to say,

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it'd be that even if you don't understand, [br]you can still support us and stand with us.

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You can learn, [br]you can dismantle old ways of thinking.

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You can educate yourself[br]and help your loved ones,

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even if you don't fully grasp [br]the meaning of their gender identity.

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Secondly, all non-binary people express [br]their identity differently.

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Some undergo medical transitions, [br]use hormones or get surgery. Others don't.

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No matter how you transition, [br]socially, medically, or not at all,

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Our identity is legitimate and real.

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And there are quite a lot of us.