WEBVTT

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Even if you are unfamiliar

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you can always follow along
and support us

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Our identity and existence
remains legitimate

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Non-Binarity
Cami's Testimony

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My name is Cami,
I am 22 years old and non-binary

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and I'm here to discuss 
non-binary identity

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Non-binary is an umbrella term

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that includes many 
genre identities

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that are neither
exclusively masculine

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nor exclusively feminine.

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Including, for instance, agender

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"A" meaning subtraction,
without gender or gender neutral

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Or, this can include
gender fluid identities.

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If we imagine gender as 
a spectrum with two poles

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the masculine and
the feminine.

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We can imagine
a sliding scale.

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Including all the people
who are genderfluid

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demi-gender, pangender, etc.

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I never really identified
with femininity.

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By 18 I had already begun
to question

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regarding my gender identity

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then I met a trans man

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who I was with for some time

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and we began
to put my identity into words,

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which ended up being
non-binary

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I think it was because

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he had much more
information than me

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that he helped me 
identify my identity in words.

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Gender identity is who we are

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It's the gender we feel,

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that we live and
that we experiment

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Gender expression is
what we show others

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It is how we express our identity.

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We can have a gender identity

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for example: masculine

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So, we are a man,

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we will have
an expression of gender

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that will be feminine

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with many signifiers 
considered feminine in society.

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Like, for example,
Balil Hassani, who is a man

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with a feminine gender expression

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I came out to my parents as non-binary

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and that I wanted 
to change my name

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at the same time.

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I was 20 years old,
it was two years ago

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My mother took it very well

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She was already very up-to-date
on the idea of gender

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She was understanding enough,
and very safe

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It made me feel secure.

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My father was a different story

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I put a little more time into 
talking with him

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and I didn't

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in reality.

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I sent time a message in the end 
because it was easier for me

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He received it well enough

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He said that
he didn't fully understand

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but he would still be there
to support me

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and it didn't change anything for him.

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For my grandmother, it wasn't as clear

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because it was very foreign to her.

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She grew up in the countryside, 
before moving to Paris.

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She lived with my grandfather 
for 50 years.

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She lived in very
cis hetero-normative regime

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where she never
posed questions about identity

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or the identity of others.

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So when I told her,
she was a little taken aback,

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but she had always tried 
to act in a way

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that was best for me.

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She puts in enormous effort

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she doesn't struggle as much with
my preferred pronouns

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I filled a request to change 
my first name

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in 2019.

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I filed a request

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with the city hall in my town

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I took a dossier which I had to fill

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with testimonies from
my close friends and familly

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stating they use the name Cami

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to address me.

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I asked my school for
a reference letter.

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Then I returned my dossier.

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I had to wait several months.

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It varies by city.

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And, I received an 
acceptation of name change.

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Improperly gendering a person is

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addressing a person

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using the wrong pronouns,

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thus, gendering a non-binary person

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who has explicitly said

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use neutral pronouns like they

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and or gendering as
masculine or feminine

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Me, personally, I use feminine pronouns 
when spoken out loud

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and neutral when in writing.

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In practice, I have a tendency to say

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more often than not

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that I prefer to be addressed with
feminine pronouns

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That being said,
if a person doesn't say it themselves

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and you want to gender them correctly

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you can ask for their pronouns

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or wait for them to say it themselves

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to reflect their preferred gender

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On my previous videos

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there were many comments

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which invalidated our identities,

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which deny our gender expressions,
and our gender identities

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I read very few of these comments

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simply because I know,
for the most part,

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they are malicious
or very, very misconstrued,

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and just want to cause me greif.

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I previously participated in an
exposé where it was said that

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it was a trending fad,

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that it appeared out of nowhere,

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in the United States,
in the last decade,

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that it was tied, really,
to the fashion

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the unisex fashion, etc.

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This was completely false.
And I think it was also

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a super white point of view,
Eurocentric point of view,

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because, in numerous cultures

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we find many gender identities

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that were completely erased

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during colonialism, straight up.

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All to often,
we hear that it's problematic,

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or that it's annoying to recreate
more and more ways to identify, reidentify, etc.,

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but I think it's super important

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to be able to choose in the first place
how we identify,

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not the identity that was given to us arbitrarily.

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I think it is also important to
have a community,

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to create connection,
to know we're not alone,

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that there is support,

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that there are other people
that are like us,

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that understand us, 
that listen to us.

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If I have one thing to say

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I think it would be that,
even if you don't understand,

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you can always support
and stay open-minded.

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You can learn,

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you can deconstruct regimes of thought.

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You can relearn,
you can hep those close to you,

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even if you don't fully understand

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everything that encompasses
their gender identity.

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Secondly, it's that 
everyone who is non-binary

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has their own way of expressing 
their identity,

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that there are people who will have
medical transitions,

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who will take hormones,
who will get operations elsewhere

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and that, no matter how someone
chooses to transition,

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whether that's socially, medically, etc.

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Our identities remain legitimate, 
they exist,

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and we're here to stay.