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Even if you don't fully understand, you [br]can still support and affirm our identity

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It’s valid, and it exists.

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Non-binary Stories

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My name is Camille, I’m 22 years old,[br]I’m non-binary,

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and I’m here to talk about non-binary identity.

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Non-binary is an umbrella term [br]that includes all gender identities.

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that aren't strictly male or female

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This could mean being agender, [br]“a” like subtracting the gender

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that is neutral, [br]or it could mean all fluid identities.

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If we imagine gender as a spectrum [br]with two poles, masculine and feminine,

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a person can slide across it.[br]Hence, it includes identities like

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gender-fluid, demi-gender, [br]and pan-gender, etc.

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I never really felt [br]connected to femininity.

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When I was 18, [br]I started questioning my gender identity.

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I was in a relationship with a trans man

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who helped me find the words [br]to describe my identity

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— non-binary.

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I believe because he had access to more[br]information than I did at the time,

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he was able to help me find the[br]words to describe my identity.

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Gender identity is what we are,

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it's the gender we feel, [br]experience, and live.

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Gender expression, on the other hand, [br]is how we present that identity to others,

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it’s the way we will [br]express this identity.

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For instance, someone might identify

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as male but have a [br]feminine gender expression,

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with many markers that [br]society sees as feminine.

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For example, Bilal Hassani is a man

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with a feminine gender expression.

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I came out to my parents as non-binary

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and told them I wanted to change [br]my first name at the same time

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I was 20, so that was about 2 years ago.

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My mom was very supportive

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She was already familiar with [br]gender identity topics

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and made me feel safe.

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My dad’s reaction was [br]a bit more reserved.

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I took my time before telling him,

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and decided to do it indirectly via text.

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It was easier that way.

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He responded positively,

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saying he didn’t fully understand,

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but he loved me just the [br]same and would support me,

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nothing would change for him.

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It was harder for my grandmother to grasp.

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because it was a topic [br]very foreign to her.

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She grew up in a rural environment [br]and later moved to Paris.

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She lived with [br]my grandfather for 50 years.

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She lived in a very traditional, [br]heteronormative context,

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where she never questioned[br]her own identity or those of others.

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So when I came out to her, [br]she was a bit taken aback.

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But she always made sure [br]to treat me in the best way possible.

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She made a real effort,

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and now she barely uses [br]my wrong pronoums or name.

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In 2019, I applied to change [br]my first name

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through my local city hall.

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I started some paperwork [br]with testimonies

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from people in my life to show they used [br]the name Cami to address me.

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I also added a letter of support [br]from my school, etc.

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Then, I submitted this paperwork.[br]I waited a few months,

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though the process can vary [br]depending on the city,

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and my application was approved.

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Misgendering someone means [br]referring to them

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using pronouns that don’t [br]align with their identity.

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For instance, if a non-binary person

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explicitely says they use gender-neutral [br]pronouns like “they/them,

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but someone insists on calling [br]them “he” or “she,” that’s misgendering.

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Personally, I use feminine pronouns

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when speaking [br]and neutral pronouns in writing.

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In general I usually speak up [br]right away saying:

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I prefer if you adress me with [br]feminine pronouns when speaking.

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Though if someone [br]doesn’t speak up right away

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and you want to be sure [br]you are using the correct pronoun,

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you can ask them their pronouns [br]or wait for them to address themselves

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and you can follow their lead.

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In previous videos I’ve made, there were [br]a lot of negative comments online

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invalidating non-binary identities, [br]denying our experiences

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and expressions of gender.[br]I try not to dwell on those comments

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because most of them come from [br]a place of ignorance or malice

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and reading them would only bring me down.

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I also once participated in a documentary,

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where people claimed that [br]non-binary identities were just a trend

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that emerged in the U.S. a decade ago

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related to fashion, [br]the unisex movement, etc.

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That’s simply not true.

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I think that’a a very white [br]and Eurocentric view.

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In reality, many cultures [br]around the world

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have recognized multiple [br]gender identities,

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but these identities [br]were erased through colonization.

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Some people argue that creating [br]more gender categories is unnecessary

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and complicates things.

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But I believe it’s extremely important [br]and empowering to be able to first

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identify onself with something to then [br]be able to break free from

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the gender we were [br]arbitrarily assigned at birth.

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I also think it’s a way that labels can [br]help us find community, connect

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with others who share similar [br]experiences, and know we’re not alone,

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that there are other people like us, [br]that understand, and hear us.

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If I had one message to share, it would [br]be this: even if you don’t understand .

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someone’s gender identity, [br]you can still support and stand by them

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You can learn, [br]question your own biases,

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educate yourself

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and help those close to you.[br]Even if you cannot fully understand

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all the complexity of [br]their gender identity.

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Finally, it’s important to remember

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that every non-binary person [br]expresses their identity differently.

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Some may pursue medical transitions,

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like hormone therapy or surgeries,

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while others may not.

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Regardless of whether [br]someone transitions,

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medically, socially, or not at all, [br]their identity remains valid and exists

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And there are so many of us out there, [br]we are many, many.