WEBVTT

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Even if you don't fully understand, you 
can still support and affirm our identity

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It’s valid, and it exists.

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Non-binary Stories

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My name is Camille, I’m 22 years old,
I’m non-binary,

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and I’m here to talk about non-binary identity.

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Non-binary is an umbrella term 
that includes all gender identities.

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that aren't strictly male or female

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This could mean being agender, 
“a” like subtracting the gender

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that is neutral, 
or it could mean all fluid identities.

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If we imagine gender as a spectrum 
with two poles, masculine and feminine,

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a person can slide across it.
Hence, it includes identities like

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gender-fluid, demi-gender, 
and pan-gender, etc.

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I never really felt 
connected to femininity.

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When I was 18, 
I started questioning my gender identity.

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I was in a relationship with a trans man

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who helped me find the words 
to describe my identity

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— non-binary.

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I believe because he had access to more
information than I did at the time,

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he was able to help me find the
words to describe my identity.

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Gender identity is what we are,

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it's the gender we feel, 
experience, and live.

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Gender expression, on the other hand, 
is how we present that identity to others,

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it’s the way we will 
express this identity.

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For instance, someone might identify

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as male but have a 
feminine gender expression,

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with many markers that 
society sees as feminine.

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For example, Bilal Hassani is a man

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with a feminine gender expression.

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I came out to my parents as non-binary

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and told them I wanted to change 
my first name at the same time

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I was 20, so that was about 2 years ago.

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My mom was very supportive

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She was already familiar with 
gender identity topics

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and made me feel safe.

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My dad’s reaction was 
a bit more reserved.

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I took my time before telling him,

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and decided to do it indirectly via text.

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It was easier that way.

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He responded positively,

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saying he didn’t fully understand,

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but he loved me just the 
same and would support me,

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nothing would change for him.

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It was harder for my grandmother to grasp.

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because it was a topic 
very foreign to her.

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She grew up in a rural environment 
and later moved to Paris.

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She lived with 
my grandfather for 50 years.

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She lived in a very traditional, 
heteronormative context,

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where she never questioned
her own identity or those of others.

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So when I came out to her, 
she was a bit taken aback.

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But she always made sure 
to treat me in the best way possible.

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She made a real effort,

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and now she barely uses 
my wrong pronoums or name.

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In 2019, I applied to change 
my first name

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through my local city hall.

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I started some paperwork 
with testimonies

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from people in my life to show they used 
the name Cami to address me.

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I also added a letter of support 
from my school, etc.

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Then, I submitted this paperwork.
I waited a few months,

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though the process can vary 
depending on the city,

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and my application was approved.

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Misgendering someone means 
referring to them

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using pronouns that don’t 
align with their identity.

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For instance, if a non-binary person

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explicitely says they use gender-neutral 
pronouns like “they/them,

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but someone insists on calling 
them “he” or “she,” that’s misgendering.

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Personally, I use feminine pronouns

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when speaking 
and neutral pronouns in writing.

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In general I usually speak up 
right away saying:

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I prefer if you adress me with 
feminine pronouns when speaking.

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Though if someone 
doesn’t speak up right away

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and you want to be sure 
you are using the correct pronoun,

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you can ask them their pronouns 
or wait for them to address themselves

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and you can follow their lead.

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In previous videos I’ve made, there were 
a lot of negative comments online

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invalidating non-binary identities, 
denying our experiences

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and expressions of gender.
I try not to dwell on those comments

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because most of them come from 
a place of ignorance or malice

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and reading them would only bring me down.

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I also once participated in a documentary,

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where people claimed that 
non-binary identities were just a trend

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that emerged in the U.S. a decade ago

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related to fashion, 
the unisex movement, etc.

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That’s simply not true.

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I think that’a a very white 
and Eurocentric view.

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In reality, many cultures 
around the world

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have recognized multiple 
gender identities,

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but these identities 
were erased through colonization.

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Some people argue that creating 
more gender categories is unnecessary

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and complicates things.

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But I believe it’s extremely important 
and empowering to be able to first

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identify onself with something to then 
be able to break free from

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the gender we were 
arbitrarily assigned at birth.

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I also think it’s a way that labels can 
help us find community, connect

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with others who share similar 
experiences, and know we’re not alone,

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that there are other people like us, 
that understand, and hear us.

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If I had one message to share, it would 
be this: even if you don’t understand .

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someone’s gender identity, 
you can still support and stand by them

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You can learn, 
question your own biases,

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educate yourself

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and help those close to you.
Even if you cannot fully understand

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all the complexity of 
their gender identity.

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Finally, it’s important to remember

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that every non-binary person 
expresses their identity differently.

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Some may pursue medical transitions,

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like hormone therapy or surgeries,

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while others may not.

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Regardless of whether 
someone transitions,

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medically, socially, or not at all, 
their identity remains valid and exists

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And there are so many of us out there, 
we are many, many.