0:00:00.000,0:00:01.532
Even if you don’t get it.

0:00:01.532,0:00:03.737
You can always support us[br]and by an ally.

0:00:03.737,0:00:05.394
Our identity is legitimate.

0:00:05.394,0:00:06.294
It exist.

0:00:09.193,0:00:11.383
I'm Cami, I'm 22 years old[br]I'm non-binary

0:00:11.383,0:00:13.463
and I'm here to talk to you[br]about non-binary identities.

0:00:13.470,0:00:15.200
"Non-binary" is an umbrella term

0:00:15.200,0:00:16.870
that groups[br]all gender identities

0:00:17.412,0:00:19.312
that are neither[br]exclusively masculine

0:00:19.322,0:00:20.622
nor feminine.

0:00:20.752,0:00:22.972
So, you could have agender

0:00:22.982,0:00:25.242
"a" being without gender[br]neutral per say

0:00:25.242,0:00:27.512
or it can be [br]all fluid genders.

0:00:27.512,0:00:30.337
If we were to imagine[br]gender as a spectrum

0:00:30.337,0:00:31.192
with two ends

0:00:31.192,0:00:32.552
- masculine and feminine -

0:00:32.552,0:00:35.202
we could see a cursor,[br]moving

0:00:35.202,0:00:38.947
including all, gender fluid,[br]demi-gender, pangender, etc.

0:00:39.432,0:00:42.534
I never really identified[br]as feminine.

0:00:42.624,0:00:44.063
At 18,

0:00:44.080,0:00:46.700
I was already questioning

0:00:46.700,0:00:48.140
my gender identity

0:00:48.140,0:00:49.683
and I met this trans man

0:00:49.683,0:00:52.093
with who I was with[br]for some time

0:00:52.136,0:00:54.256
and we were able[br]to find the term

0:00:54.256,0:00:56.290
for my identity,[br]which was non-binary.

0:00:56.290,0:00:57.327
And I think that

0:00:57.327,0:00:58.807
because he was[br]more informed

0:00:58.807,0:01:00.267
than me[br]that he knew

0:01:00.267,0:01:02.187
how to find the terms

0:01:02.187,0:01:03.456
on my identity.

0:01:03.456,0:01:05.531
Gender identity,[br]it's who we are.

0:01:05.531,0:01:06.895
It's the gender we feel inside.

0:01:06.895,0:01:09.095
It's what we live,[br]what we experience.

0:01:09.095,0:01:10.502
And gender expression

0:01:10.502,0:01:13.245
it's what we show people.

0:01:13.245,0:01:15.850
it's the way[br]we express our identity.

0:01:15.850,0:01:18.050
So we can have[br]a gender identity

0:01:18.050,0:01:20.095
for example: masculine

0:01:20.095,0:01:21.672
and we have a man

0:01:21.672,0:01:23.275
that would express his gender

0:01:23.275,0:01:25.195
as feminine, [br]with many features

0:01:25.195,0:01:26.395
that are "feminine".

0:01:26.395,0:01:27.770
Take for example:[br]Bilal Hassani

0:01:27.770,0:01:28.912
that identifies as a man

0:01:28.912,0:01:30.982
and expresses himself[br]in a feminine way.

0:01:30.982,0:01:33.687
I told my parents

0:01:33.687,0:01:35.077
that I was non-binary

0:01:35.077,0:01:36.557
and that I wanted [br]to change my name

0:01:36.557,0:01:37.787
at the same time.

0:01:37.787,0:01:40.537
I was 20,[br]so 2 years ago.

0:01:40.537,0:01:41.537
And um

0:01:41.537,0:01:43.907
My mom took it well.

0:01:43.907,0:01:47.139
She was already exposed[br]to gender questioning

0:01:47.139,0:01:49.447
desensitised enough[br]to be a safe space.

0:01:49.447,0:01:50.577
I felt safe.

0:01:51.307,0:01:53.287
My dad was more sensitive.

0:01:53.287,0:01:55.147
It took me a bit more time[br]to talk to him about it

0:01:55.147,0:01:56.817
and I didn't do it

0:01:56.817,0:01:58.137
in person.

0:01:58.137,0:01:59.347
I sent him a message

0:01:59.347,0:02:00.947
because it was easier[br]for me to do

0:02:00.947,0:02:03.387
and he took it well enough.

0:02:03.387,0:02:04.707
He didn't understand everything

0:02:04.707,0:02:06.967
but in any case,[br]he would be there for me

0:02:06.967,0:02:08.727
and that [br]it didn't change anything

0:02:08.727,0:02:09.864
that he loved me[br]either way.

0:02:09.864,0:02:11.627
For my grandmother,[br]that is a different story

0:02:11.627,0:02:14.357
because it was an[br]"out-of-reach" topic for her.

0:02:14.357,0:02:15.977
She grew up [br]in the countryside

0:02:15.977,0:02:17.559
then moved to Paris.

0:02:17.559,0:02:20.117
She stayed with my grandfather[br]for 50 years.

0:02:20.117,0:02:22.677
She lived in a very[br]cis heteronormative world

0:02:22.677,0:02:24.722
where she never questioned[br]her own identity

0:02:24.722,0:02:26.187
or the identity of others.

0:02:26.187,0:02:28.744
So, when I told her,[br]she was flabbergasted

0:02:28.744,0:02:32.127
but she maintained[br]her composure

0:02:32.127,0:02:35.253
the best way she could[br]with me.

0:02:35.253,0:02:36.365
She makes a lot of effort.

0:02:36.365,0:02:37.757
She barely makes mistakes

0:02:37.757,0:02:39.167
when using pronouns.

0:02:39.167,0:02:41.493
I applied to change my name

0:02:41.493,0:02:43.417
in 2019.

0:02:43.900,0:02:46.217
I applied at the town hall

0:02:46.217,0:02:47.987
where I lived.

0:02:48.597,0:02:51.746
I filled out an application[br]with statements

0:02:51.746,0:02:52.826
from my loved ones

0:02:52.826,0:02:54.953
to prove of them[br]using the name Cami

0:02:54.953,0:02:56.326
when addressing me.

0:02:56.556,0:02:59.861
I asked my school[br]to complete a reference letter

0:02:59.861,0:03:00.671
etc.

0:03:00.671,0:03:02.026
Then I sent in my application.

0:03:02.026,0:03:03.747
I waited a couple of months

0:03:03.747,0:03:05.337
- it depends[br]on each town hall -

0:03:05.337,0:03:07.666
and the application[br]got accepted.

0:03:07.666,0:03:09.089
To misgender someone

0:03:09.089,0:03:11.377
is to address them

0:03:11.377,0:03:13.077
by using the wrong pronouns.

0:03:13.077,0:03:15.356
So gendering [br]a non-binary person

0:03:15.356,0:03:18.746
that would have explicitly [br]indicated their preference

0:03:18.746,0:03:20.586
to use neutral pronouns[br]such as they/them

0:03:20.586,0:03:23.744
and gendering them[br]by using she/him pronouns.

0:03:23.744,0:03:24.684
Me, personally

0:03:24.684,0:03:27.054
I use feminine pronouns[br]while speaking

0:03:27.054,0:03:29.304
and neutral in writing.

0:03:29.304,0:03:31.267
But, really, in general

0:03:31.267,0:03:33.024
I have the tendency[br]to say right away

0:03:33.024,0:03:34.914
that I prefer [br]to be addressed

0:03:34.914,0:03:36.747
as she/her while speaking.

0:03:36.747,0:03:38.584
After, if the person[br]doesn't say it

0:03:38.584,0:03:42.765
and you prefer being sure[br]to gender them correctly

0:03:42.765,0:03:44.379
you can ask[br]for their pronouns

0:03:44.379,0:03:46.994
or wait till they say it[br]themselves

0:03:46.994,0:03:48.744
in order[br]to gender them correctly.

0:03:48.744,0:03:51.497
In past videos[br]that I did

0:03:51.497,0:03:53.137
there were a lot[br]of comments

0:03:53.137,0:03:55.707
that invalidated our identities.

0:03:55.707,0:03:59.157
That didn't value [br]our gender expression

0:03:59.157,0:04:00.647
and our gender identities.

0:04:00.647,0:04:02.102
And then um

0:04:02.102,0:04:03.737
for me, I barely read[br]those comments.

0:04:03.737,0:04:05.457
Obviously, because,[br]for the most part

0:04:05.457,0:04:06.563
they're malicious

0:04:06.563,0:04:08.507
or even [br]truly negative and hateful

0:04:08.507,0:04:10.188
and they'll just make me sad.

0:04:10.188,0:04:12.546
I participated [br]in a documentary

0:04:12.546,0:04:14.317
in which they said

0:04:14.317,0:04:15.767
that it was a fashion statement.

0:04:15.767,0:04:17.960
That it only appeared [br]some years ago

0:04:17.960,0:04:19.707
in the States,[br]about 10 years ago.

0:04:19.707,0:04:22.237
That it was [br]a true fashion statement

0:04:22.237,0:04:24.452
also unisex fashion, etc.

0:04:24.452,0:04:25.560
That's completely false.

0:04:25.560,0:04:27.116
I also think that

0:04:27.116,0:04:28.186
um

0:04:28.186,0:04:30.487
that it's a big big Caucasian

0:04:30.487,0:04:32.912
and a super European, [br]Eurocentric point of vue.

0:04:32.912,0:04:35.721
Because there are, [br]in many cultures,

0:04:35.721,0:04:37.432
different gender identities

0:04:37.432,0:04:39.414
that have been erased

0:04:39.414,0:04:41.037
during colonialism[br]obviously.

0:04:41.037,0:04:41.752
Often enough,

0:04:41.752,0:04:44.582
you can hear people say[br]that its problematic

0:04:44.582,0:04:46.081
or that it's annoying

0:04:46.081,0:04:48.029
creating boxes within boxes

0:04:48.029,0:04:49.634
to identify, reidentify, etc.

0:04:49.966,0:04:51.766
But I think [br]that it's super important

0:04:51.766,0:04:53.598
to be able, in the first place,

0:04:53.598,0:04:55.170
to identify yourself to something

0:04:55.170,0:04:57.399
and to un-identify[br]from an identity

0:04:57.399,0:04:59.312
that was arbitrarily assigned [br]to you.

0:04:59.312,0:05:00.801
I think that it's necessary

0:05:00.801,0:05:02.289
to find your community

0:05:02.289,0:05:03.371
to build connections

0:05:03.371,0:05:04.441
to know your not alone

0:05:04.441,0:05:05.469
that there's support

0:05:05.469,0:05:07.869
that there are other people[br]like you that exist

0:05:07.869,0:05:09.289
that understand you,[br]that will listen.

0:05:09.289,0:05:11.154
If I only had one thing to say

0:05:11.154,0:05:11.939
I think I'd say

0:05:11.939,0:05:13.509
that even if[br]you don't get it

0:05:13.509,0:05:15.772
you can always support[br]and be an ally.

0:05:16.222,0:05:17.904
You can learn[br]and desensitize yourself

0:05:17.904,0:05:19.699
of ideologies and ways of thinking.

0:05:19.699,0:05:21.478
You can educated yourself

0:05:21.478,0:05:23.157
help your loved ones

0:05:23.157,0:05:24.434
even if you don't understand it

0:05:24.434,0:05:28.279
everything regarding[br]their gender identity.

0:05:28.279,0:05:29.872
The second thing would be that

0:05:29.872,0:05:30.998
every non-binary person

0:05:30.998,0:05:34.847
has a different mean of expressing[br]their identity.

0:05:34.847,0:05:35.856
That there are people

0:05:35.856,0:05:37.905
that will medically transition

0:05:37.905,0:05:39.071
that will take hormones

0:05:39.071,0:05:40.543
that will do operations, or not.

0:05:40.543,0:05:45.336
And regardless of the way [br]in which we'll transition, or not

0:05:45.336,0:05:46.857
socially, medically, etc.

0:05:46.857,0:05:48.922
our identity is legitimate.

0:05:48.922,0:05:50.107
It exist.

0:05:50.107,0:05:52.822
And we are many that exist.