WEBVTT

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Even if you don’t get it.

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You can always support us
and by an ally.

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Our identity is legitimate.

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It exist.

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I'm Cami, I'm 22 years old
I'm non-binary

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and I'm here to talk to you
about non-binary identities.

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"Non-binary" is an umbrella term

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that groups
all gender identities

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that are neither
exclusively masculine

NOTE Paragraph

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nor feminine.

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So, you could have agender

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"a" being without gender
neutral per say

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or it can be 
all fluid genders.

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If we were to imagine
gender as a spectrum

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with two ends

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- masculine and feminine -

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we could see a cursor,
moving

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including all, gender fluid,
demi-gender, pangender, etc.

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I never really identified
as feminine.

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At 18,

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I was already questioning

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my gender identity

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and I met this trans man

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with who I was with
for some time

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and we were able
to find the term

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for my identity,
which was non-binary.

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And I think that

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because he was
more informed

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than me
that he knew

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how to find the terms

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on my identity.

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Gender identity,
it's who we are.

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It's the gender we feel inside.

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It's what we live,
what we experience.

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And gender expression

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it's what we show people.

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it's the way
we express our identity.

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So we can have
a gender identity

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for example: masculine

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and we have a man

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that would express his gender

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as feminine, 
with many features

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that are "feminine".

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Take for example:
Bilal Hassani

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that identifies as a man

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and expresses himself
in a feminine way.

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I told my parents

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that I was non-binary

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and that I wanted 
to change my name

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at the same time.

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I was 20,
so 2 years ago.

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And um

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My mom took it well.

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She was already exposed
to gender questioning

NOTE Paragraph

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accustomed to the idea 
enough to be a safe space.

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I felt safe.

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My dad was more sensitive.

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It took me a bit more time
to talk to him about it

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and I didn't do it

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in person.

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I sent him a message

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because it was easier
for me to do

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and he took it well enough.

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He didn't understand everything

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but in any case,
he would be there for me

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and that 
it didn't change anything

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that he loved me
either way.

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For my grandmother,
that is a different story

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because it was an
"out-of-reach" topic for her.

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She grew up 
in the countryside

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then moved to Paris.

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She stayed with my grandfather
for 50 years.

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She lived in a very
cis heteronormative world

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where she never questioned
her own identity

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or the identity of others.

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So, when I told her,
she was flabbergasted

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but she maintained
her composure

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the best way she could
with me.

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She makes a lot of effort.

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She barely makes mistakes

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when using pronouns.

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I applied to change my name

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in 2019.

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I applied at the town hall

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where I lived.

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I filled out an application
with statements

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from my loved ones

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to prove of them
using the name Cami

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when addressing me.

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I asked my school
to complete a reference letter

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etc.

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Then I sent in my application.

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I waited a couple of months

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- it depends
on each town hall -

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and the application
got accepted.

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To misgender someone

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is to address them

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by using the wrong pronouns.

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So gendering 
a non-binary person

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that would have explicitly 
indicated their preference

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to use neutral pronouns
such as they/them

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and gendering them
by using she/him pronouns.

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Me, personally

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I use feminine pronouns
while speaking

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and neutral in writing.

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But, really, in general

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I have the tendency
to say right away

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that I prefer 
to be addressed

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as she/her while speaking.

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After, if the person
doesn't say it

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and you prefer being sure
to gender them correctly

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you can ask
for their pronouns

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or wait till they say it
themselves

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in order
to gender them correctly.

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In past videos
that I did

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there were a lot
of comments

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that invalidated our identities.

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That didn't value 
our gender expression

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and our gender identities.

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And then um

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for me, I barely read
those comments.

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Obviously, because,
for the most part

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they're malicious

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or even 
truly negative and hateful

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and they'll just make me sad.

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I participated 
in a reporting

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in which they said

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that it was a fashion statement.

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That it only appeared 
some years ago

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in the States,
about 10 years ago.

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That it was 
a true fashion statement

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also unisex fashion, etc.

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That's completely false.

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I also think that

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um

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that it's a big big Caucasian

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and a super European, 
Eurocentric point of view.

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Because there are, 
in many cultures,

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different gender identities

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that have been erased

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during colonialism
obviously.

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Often enough,

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you can hear people say
that its problematic

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or that it's annoying

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creating boxes within boxes

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to identify, reidentify, etc.

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But I think 
that it's super important

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to be able, in the first place,

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to identify yourself to something

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and to un-identify
from an identity

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that was arbitrarily assigned 
to you.

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I think that it's necessary

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to find your community

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to build connections

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to know your not alone

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that there's support

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that there are other people
like you that exist

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that understand you,
that will listen.

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If I only had one thing to say

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I think I'd say

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that even if
you don't get it

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you can always support
and be an ally.

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You can learn
and desensitize yourself

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of ideologies and ways of thinking.

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You can educated yourself

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help your loved ones

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even if you don't understand it

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everything regarding
their gender identity.

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The second thing would be that

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every non-binary person

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has a different mean of expressing
their identity.

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That there are people

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that will medically transition

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that will take hormones

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that will do operations, or not.

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And regardless of the way 
in which we'll transition, or not

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socially, medically, etc.

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our identity is legitimate.

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It exist.

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And we are many that exist.