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Even if you don’t understand,[br]you can still support and stand by us.

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Our identity is still real and valid.

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[Non-binary Stories]

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My name is Cami, I’m 22

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And I’m here to talk about [br]my non-binary identity.

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Non-binary is an umbrella term[br]for any gender identity

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that isn’t exclusively masculine[br]or exclusively feminine.

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That could be agender

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“a” indicating [br]the absence of gender

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which is neutral

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Or it could be a fluid identity.

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If we imagine gender [br]as a spectrum

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with two poles:[br]masculine and feminine

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A fluid identity might[br]move around that spectrum.

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This includes people who are gender fluid,

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demigender, pangender, etc.

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I never really identified with femininity.

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At 18, I was already[br]questioning my gender identity

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and I met a trans man[br]who I dated for a while.

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Together, we put my identity into words: [br]non-binary.

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I think that because he was[br]much more informed than me

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He was able to help me [br]find the words to describe my identity

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Gender identity is who you are.

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It’s the gender you feel, [br]that you live, that you experience.

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And gender expression[br]is what you present to the world.

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It’s the way you express your identity.

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For example, you could have[br]a masculine gender identity:

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So you’re a man,

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And your gender expression[br]could be feminine,

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Meaning it has lots of markers[br]that society thinks of as feminine.

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For example,

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Which I came out to my parents [br]as non-binary,

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I also told them that[br]I wanted to change my name.

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It was two years ago, [br]when I was 20.

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My mom took it very well.

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She was already well versed[br]in gender identity

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She’d done enough unlearning.

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I felt safe with her.

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Telling my dad was a bit trickier.

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It took me longer to talk to him,[br]and I didn’t do it in person.

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I sent him a message [br]because it was easier for me to manage.

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He reacted quite well.

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He said he didn’t understand everything[br]but that he supported me no matter what,

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that it didn’t change anything for him,[br]and that he loved me just the same.

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It was harder for my grandmother[br]because it was very foreign to her.

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She grew up in the countryside[br]before moving to Paris.

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She lived with my grandfather[br]for 50 years.

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She lived in a very[br]cisheteronormative environment

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where she never questioned[br]her gender identity or anyone else's.

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When I told her,[br]she was a bit out of her depth.

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But she always made sure[br]to interact with me

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in the best way she could.

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She tries really hard.

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And she almost always[br]uses my chosen name now.

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I applied for a legal name change[br]in 2019.

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I applied to the town council[br]where I was living at the time.

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I sent in a folder that I filled[br]with statements from friends and family

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confirming that they used the name Cami [br]to refer to me.

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I asked my school for a letter of support.

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Then I submitted my application.

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I waited a few months.

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Wait times vary by municipality.

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And my name change was approved.

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Misgendering someone

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is using the wrong pronouns[br]to refer to someone.

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So for a non-binary person

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who explicitly asked you[br]to use "they/them" pronouns

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misgendering them would be using [br]she/her or he/him pronouns for them.

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Personally, I use "feminine" pronouns [br]when speaking