0:00:00.000,0:00:03.250
Even if you don't understand, you can [br]always support us and be with us.

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Our identity is real and it exists.

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My name is Camille, I'm 22 years old.

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I'm non-binary and I'm here to talk to [br]you about nonbinarity.

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Nonbinarity is an umbrella term that [br]includes all the gender identities

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that are neither completely masculine [br]nor completely feminine.

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That could be agender, where "a" means [br]without, which is neutral,

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or it could be all the gender fluid[br]identities, including those

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who are gender fluid, demigendered, [br]pangendered , and so on.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
If you imagine gender as a spectrum [br]with two poles - masculine and feminine -

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and a cursor that could be [br]anywhere between them,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
it would include all of [br]those gender identities.

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I never really identified with femininity[br]and when I was 18,

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I'd aleady started to question my own [br]gender identity.

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I met a trans man I was with for awhile [br]and together, we found the words

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
for my identity, which was non-binary. And[br]because he knew more about it than I did,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
he helped me find the words for[br]my gender identity.

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Gender identity, it's who you are, the[br]gender that you feel, that you try out.

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And gender expression is what you [br]show to others.

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It's the way you express your identity.

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So you can have, for example, a masculine[br]gender identity, so you're a man.

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But your gender expression could[br]be female

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with lots of markers that our society [br]considers to be feminine.

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For example Bilal Hissani, who is a man[br]with a female gender expression.

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I told my parents I was non-binary and at[br]the same time,

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that I also wanted to change [br]my first name.

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I was 20 years old so it was 2 years [br]ago and my my mom took it very well.

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She was already totally up to speed [br]about questions of gender.

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She had deconstructed the issues and[br]I felt very safe, very secure with her.

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My dad, it was a little more delicate.[br]I took more time to talk to him about it.

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And in fact I didn't actually do that -

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I sent him a message because it was easier[br]for me to handle. And he reacted well.

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He said he didn't understand everything [br]but he'd always be there to support me,

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and it that it didn't change anything for [br]him, he loved me just as much.

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For my grandmother, it was less obvious[br]because the concept was foreign to her.

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She grew up in the country, [br]then went to Paris.

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She was with my grandfather for 50 years[br]and was very much cis-heteronormative,

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where she never questioned her [br]identity or that of others.

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So when I talked to her about it, [br]she was a bit shocked,

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but she always did the best she [br]could with me.

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She tried really hard. She almost always [br]got my first name right.

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I'd made a request to change my first name[br]in 2019, through my town's city hall.

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I filled out an application form with[br]statements from my family and friends

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saying that they called me Cami[br]when they talked to me.

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I asked my school to write a letter[br]of support, and so on.

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Next, I submitted the application, [br]and waited a few months.

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The time varies from city to city,

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but my request to change my name[br]was accepted.

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To misgender someone is to speak to them[br]using the wrong pronouns,

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and this assigns a gender [br]to a non-binary person

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who would have explicitly said[br]to use neutral pronouns like "iel".

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And instead people use pronouns that [br]identify them as feminine or masculine.

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Personally, I use feminine pronouns in [br]speaking and neutral pronouns in writing.

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l usually tell people up front that [br]I prefer they use feminine pronouns

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when they speak to me.[br]If they don't do that on their own

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and you want to be sure that you[br]indentify their gender correctly,

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you can ask them their pronouns or [br]wait until they identify their gender

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so you can follow their lead.

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In the videos I made earlier, [br]there were a lot of comments

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that invalidated our identities, that [br]denied our gender expressions

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and our gender identities. After, I read[br]very few of those comments because I know

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they're usually malicious or very[br]insensitive. And they just bring me pain.

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I've already taken part in a report where[br]you could hear that it's just a fad,

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that it appeared a few years ago.[br]In the United States, about 10 years ago.

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It was related to fashion, like [br]unisex fashion and so on.

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That's completely false and I also think

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it's a point of view that's totally [br]white and absolutely Eurocentric.

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Because in so many cultures, there are

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several gender identities that were [br]completely erased during colonisation.

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Often enough, we hear it's problematic or[br]awkward to create more and more categories

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for people to self identify and re-self [br]identify. But I think it's so important,

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in the first place, to be able to self [br]identify with something in order to

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de-self identify with an identity [br]that was arbitrarily assigned.

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And I think it's also necessary to find a[br]community, to create a link,

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to know we're not alone, that there's[br]support, that there are other people

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who are like us, who understand us, [br]who listen to us.

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If I have only one thing to say, it would[br]be that even if you don't understand,

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you can always support us and be with us.[br]You can learn.

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You can deconstruct your [br]patterns of thought.

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You can help your friends and family, [br]even if you don't entirely understand

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the impact of what their gender[br]means to them.

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A second thing is that all non-binary [br]people have different ways

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of expressing their identity.

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Some will have medical transitions, [br]some will take hormones,

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have operations, other things. And[br]no matter how they transition or not,

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socially, medically and so on,[br]our identity is legitimate and it exists.

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And there are many of us.