WEBVTT

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Even if you don't understand,

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you can still support us.

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Our identity is valid and it exists.

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Testimonies: Non-Binary Identity

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My name is Cami, I'm 22,
and I'm non-binary,

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I'm here to talk about 
non-binary identity.

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Non-binary is an umbrella term

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which encompasses all gender identities

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that aren't exclusively masculine

NOTE Paragraph

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nor exclusively feminine.

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This can mean someone's agender,

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'a' meaning without gender,

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which is neutral,

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Or it can encapsulate
all fluid identities,

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like if we imagined gender 
like a spectrum with two ends,

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masculine and feminine,

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with a slider that can 
move along the spectrum

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representing all people who're gender fluid,

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demigender, pangender, etc.

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I've never identified with femininity.

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At 18 years old, I was already

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asking myself questions about
my gender identity,

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and then I met a trans man

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that I was dating for a bit,

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and we were able to come up with
words to describe my identity,

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which is non-binary.

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I believe it's because of him

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having so much more knowledge
than me

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that he was able to help me 
find words

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to describe my identity.

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Gender identity is who we are,

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how we feel,

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how we live, how we experiment.

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Gender expression 
is how we present ourselves to others,

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the way in which 
we express our identity.

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So we can have a gender identity,

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for example, masculine,

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so, we are a man

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with a gender expression

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that is feminine,
with many gender markers

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considered to be feminine 
by society

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Like, for example, Bilal Hassani,
who is a man

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with a feminine gender expression.

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I told my parents that 
I'm non-binary

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and that I wanted to change 
my name at the same time

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It happened 2 years ago, 
when I was 20.

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My mom took it well,

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she was already familiar 
with gender diversity

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she had already deconstructed
a bit and was a safe person

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I felt really secure

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The conversation with my dad 
was a bit more delicate though

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I spent a bit more time
talking to him about it

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And I didn't do it

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in person

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I sent him a message,

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because it felt easier
for me to handle

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and he reacted pretty well

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he said he didn't understand everything

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but that he was always there
to support me,

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that nothing changed for him,

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and that he loved me the same.

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For my grandma,
things were trickier

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Because this is a distant concept
for her

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She grew up on the countryside.
Then she moved to Paris.

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She lived there with my grandpa
for 50 years

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She had many cis-heteronormative
ways of thinking

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like she never questioned 
her identity

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or the identity of others.

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So when I spoke to her about it,
she was quite dumbfounded

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but she has always looked out for

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and made sure to behave 
respectfully towards me.

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She has put in a lot of effort

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and she barely makes mistakes anymore
when using my chosen name

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I petitioned to change
my first name

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In 2019

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I submitted an application

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To the city council 
of the town I was living in

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I pulled together a folder

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that was filled with testimonies
from those closest to me

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stating that they used 
my preferred name Cami

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when addressing me.

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I asked my school to make me
a letter of support, etc.

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Then I dropped off the folder

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and I waited several months

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It actually varies
depending on the council

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and I finally received the acceptance
of my name change

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Misgendering a person

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means to address the person

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while using the wrong pronouns, 
so gendering the non-binary person

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that explicitly stated

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that they use gender neutral pronouns,
like 'they'

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and then to gender them 
with a feminine or masculine pronoun.

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When being referred to, 
I personally use

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She/her or feminine pronouns orally,
and neutral ones in writing

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But in general,

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I usually say right away

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that I prefer to be addressed

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with feminine pronouns orally.

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If a person doesn't do that themselves

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and you want to be sure 
about how to gender them correctly

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you can always ask them their pronouns

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Or wait for them to
refer to themself in front of you

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and then follow suit.

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Under my past videos

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There are many comments

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that invalidate our identities

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that reject our gender expressions
and identities

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I barely read these comments

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because I know they are 
largely malicious or insensitive

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and all they want to do
is hurt me.

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I participated in an interview 
which stated that

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non-binary identity 
is a trend

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that this identity appeared recently

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in the US, like 10 years ago

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that it's related to fashion

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like unisex fashion, etc.

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Which is false.

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I think it's also

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a really white
and Eurocentric point of view

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because in many cultures

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you can find many 
different gender identities

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that were completely erased
during colonization

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Oftentimes, we hear that it's problematic

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or dumb to keep reconstructing
categories to identify ourselves

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or reidentify ourselves, etc.

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But I think its very important

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to firstly, be able to identify
with a label

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or to disassociate with an identity

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that was arbitrarily assigned to us.

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I think it's also vital

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to find ourselves a community

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to create connections, 
to know we aren't alone

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that there is support

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that there are other people
who are like us,

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that understand us, 
who will listen to us

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If I had one final thing 
to say

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It'd be that even if
you don't understand

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you can always support
and care for us

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you can learn,

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deconstruct your thought patterns,

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and support those you care about

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even if you don't fully understand

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the vastness of someone's gender identity.

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Secondly, all non-binary people

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have different ways of expressing
their identity

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there are people who will

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medically transition, 
who will take hormones

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and those who will have operations,
while others won't

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it's unimportant the manner 
in which we transition or don't

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socially, medically, etc.

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Our identity, it's still valid
it still exists

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and there are many of us.