Even if you don't understand,
you can always support and encourage us
Our identity is still legalized and it exists
My name's Cami, I'm 22, and I'm non-binary
and I'm here to talk about non-binary.
Non-binary is an umbrella term
that includes all gender identities
that aren't only male or only female
It can be agender so "a", subtracts,
and it means genderless, is neutral,
or it can be all fluid identities,
as if gender is a spectrum with 2 poles,
masculine and feminine.
We can have a cursor that moves.
Everyone who identifies as gender fluid,
demigender, pangender, etc.
I never really identified with femininity.
At 18, I already started asking myself
questions on my gender identity,
and I met a trans guy,
who I was with for some time,
and we put into words my identity,
which is non-binary.
I think it's because he had much more
information than me
that he was able to help me find the words
about my identity.
Gender Identity is what we are.
It is the gender we feel,
we live with and experiment with.
And Gender Expression
is what we let other see.
It is the way we express our identity.
We can have a gender identity
for example, male:
we're a guy,
and we'll have a gender expression
that is feminine, with many labels
considered feminine in society.
For example, Bilal Hassani is a man
with a feminine gender expression.
I told my parents that I was non-binary
and that I wanted to change my first name at the same time.
I was 20, so it was two years ago.
My mom took it very well.
She was already familiar with gender issues.
She was very deconstructed to the idea and very safe.
I felt safe.
With my dad, it was a bit delicate.
I took more time to talk to him
and I didn't do it in person.
I sent him a message
because it was simpler for me to handle.
He reacted pretty well.
He said he didn't understand everything
but he'll support me regardless.
and that this changes nothing for him
that his love for me stays the same.
For my grandmother, il was less obvious
because it's something farfetched to her.
She grew up in the countryside. Then, she moved to Paris.
She lived with my grandfather for 50 years.
She lived in very cis heteronormative societies.
where she never questioned her identity
or the identity of others.
When I talked to her, she was a bit bewildered
but she always looked out for me and behaved her best with me.
She makes a lot of effort
and almost never makes a mistake.
when using my first name.
I requested to change my first name in 2019
I applied to the city hall where I lived.
I filled out the folder
with the testimonies from my family and friends
to state that they'll use the name Cami to address me.
I asked my school to write a letter of support for me.
Then, I submitted my folder.
I waited several months.
It varies depending on the city hall.
And I got approval to change my first name
Misgendering a person
is to address this person with the wrong pronouns,
so gendering a non-binary person
who clearly said to use neutral pronouns like "they/them"
and to gender them as female or male.
Personally, I use she/her pronouns when speaking and they/them when writing.
But it's true that in general,
I tend to say immediately that I prefer others address me
with she/her pronouns when speaking.
Later if the person doesn't do it
and you would prefer to be sure of their gender,
you could ask for them to specify their pronouns
or wait until the person uses their pronouns
to respect their gender.
With the others videos I did,
there were a lot of comments that belittled our identities,
and denied our gender expressions and gender identities
Afterwards, I hardly read these comments
because I knew for the most part they're malicious or very inconsiderate
and they will only hurt me.
I already participated in a report
where we could hear that it was a fashion statement
that it appeared a few years ago in the U.S., 10 years ago,
and that it had to do with fashion, unisex fashion, etc.
This is completely false.
I also think that it's an extremely white and Eurocentric point of view
because in many cultures we find many gender identities
that were completely erased during colonization.
Often we hear that it's problematic,
it's annoying to create labels and more and more labels
to identify and reidentify, etc.
but I think it is especially crucial
to first identify with something in order to dissociate with an identity
that was assigned to us randomly.
I think it's necessary to also find a community
to create bonds, to know that we're not alone,
that there is support, and that there are others like us
that understand us, and who listen.
If I could say one thing,
I think it would be that even though you don't understand
you can always support and encourage us.
You can learn, you can deconstruct patterns of thinking
You can find out more information, you can help your loved ones,
even if you don't understand the range of their gender identity
Secondly, all non-binary people
have a different way of expressing their identity,
there are people who will do medical transitions,
who will take hormones, and do operations, while others won't,
and no matter the way we transition or not socially, medically, etc.
Our identity is still legalized and it exists
and there are many, many of us.