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Even if you do not understand,

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you can still support and assist us.

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Our identity remains legitimate 
and real.

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Testimonies:
Nonbinary

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My name is Cami, 
I'm 22, and I'm nonbinary

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I'm here to talk about
nonbinary

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Nonbinary is an umbrella term

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gathering
all gender identities

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that are not exclusively
masculine

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nor feminine

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It can be agender
with the substration "a"

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without a gender, someone neutral

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or it can be all fluid identities,

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as if we thought of gender

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as a spectrum with two poles, 
a masculine and a feminine one.

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It can be like a cursor that moves.

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All people that are genderfluid,

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demigender, pangender, etc.

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I never really identified with feminity

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At 18, I already started

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to have doubts about my gender identity,

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then I met a trans man,

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whom I dated for some time

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and we could put words 
on my identity

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which is nonbinary

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I think it's because

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he had more info than I did

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that he was able 
to help me find the words

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for my identity.

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Gender identity is what we are.

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It is the gender we feel,

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we live and experiment.

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And gender expression,

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is what we will show to people.

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It's the way we express this identity.

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We can have a gender identity,

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for instance, masculine:

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we are a man,

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and we can have a feminine

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gender expression with 
a lot of indicators

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considered feminine in society.

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For example, RuPaul, 
who's a man

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with a feminine gender expression.

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I told my parents 
that I was nonbinary

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and that I wished to change my name

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at the same time.

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I was 20, it was two years ago.

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My mom took it really well.

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She was already aware of 
gender questions.

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She was mostly deconstructed 
and very safe.

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I felt safe.

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For my father, the subject was 
a bit more sensitive.

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It took me a little longer
to tell him

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and I didn't tell him face-to-face.

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I sent him a text,
since it was easier for me.

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He reacted pretty well.

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He said he didn't understand everything,

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but that in any case, 
he would be there to support me

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and that it didn't change anything for him,
he still loved me the same.

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For my grandmother, it was not easy,

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since she was unfamiliar with the subject.

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She grew up in the countryside.
Then, moved to Paris.

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She lived with my grandfather 
for 50 years.

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She was surrounded by cisgender 
and heteronomous patterns,

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where she never questioned her identity

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or someone else's.

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When I told her, she was dumfounded,

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but she always watched over me 
and cared for me

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in the best way possible.

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She made many efforts,
she rarely makes mistakes anymore

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in using my preferred name.

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I requested a change of name

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in 2019.

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I put in a request to the city hall

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of the town I used to live in.

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I withdrew a record I filled up

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with testimonies of my family and friends

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saying they called me "Cami".

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I asked my school to write 
a support letter.

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Then, I handed in my record.

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I waited a few months.

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It depends on the city halls

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And I received an acceptance
to change my name.

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Misgendering someone,

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is to address that person,

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by using the wrong pronouns,

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so, gender a nonbinary person

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who would have explicitly said

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to use neutral pronouns like "they/them",

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and gender them
as feminine or masculine.

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Personally, I use the pronouns

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said feminine in speaking 
but neutral in writing.

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It is true usually,

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I tend to say it right away,

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that I prefer be referred as

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feminine pronouns in speaking.

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However, if the person doesn't do it 
by themselves

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and you want to be sure 
not to misgender them

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you can ask for their pronouns

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or wait for them to gender themselves 
in front of you

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to follow their gendering.

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In the videos I previously made,

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there are a lot of comments

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invalidating our identities,

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denying our gender expressions 
and identities

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I rarely read these comments,

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especially because I know

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that most are mean or extremely clumsy,

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and that they will only hurt my feelings.

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I have already taken part in a report
in which we could hear

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that it was a trend,

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that it only appeared a few years ago,

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10 years ago, in the US,

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that it was really linked to a trend,

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the unisex trend, etc.

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Which is completely false.
I believe it is also

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an extremely white and 
Eurocentric perspective,

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since in many cultures,

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we find several gender identities

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that have been erased

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during colonization, that's it.

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We often hear that it is problematic,

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it is embarrassing to keep creating 
more and more boxes

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to identify ourselves 
again and again, etc.

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but I think it is really important

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to, first, be able to identify with something

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to unidentify from an identity

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which was arbitrarily assigned to us.

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I believe it is necessary

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to gather in a community

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to bond and know we are not alone,

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that there is support,
and others like us,

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who understands and listens to us.

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If I had to say one thing,

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I think it would be that although 
you do not understand,

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you can always support and assist.

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You can learn, you can deconstruct

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ways of thinking.

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You can inform yourselves, 
help your surroundings,

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even if you do not understand

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the importance of their gender identity.

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Another thing is that each nonbinary person

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has a different way of expressing 
their identity,

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some people will have medical transitions,

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some will take hormones,

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some will undergo surgeries, others won't,

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and no matter the way

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we transition or not,

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socially, medically, etc.

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Our identity remains legitimate,

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it exists,
and we are many.