0:00:00.000,0:00:02.029
Even if you don't understand,

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you can still[br]support and stand with us.

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Our identities are real[br]and valid

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[Testimonies- non-binary identities]

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My name is Cami, I'm 22 years old[br]and non-binary

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and I'm here to speak [br]about non-binary identities.

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Non-binary is an umbrella term

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for all gender identities

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that are not exclusively masculine [br]or feminine.

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So this includes agender: which means [br]the absence of, or neutral gender

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or it can include all[br]gender-fluid identities.

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If we imagined gender was a spectrum

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with two ends: masculine and feminine,

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Some people move along the spectrum.

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There are people who are gender fluid,

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demigender, pangender, etc.

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I never really identified[br]with femininity.

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At 18, I had already started questioning[br]my gender identity,

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and I met a trans man

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that I dated for a while

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and together we labelled my identity: [br]non-binary.

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I think it's because he was more[br]knowledgeable than me,

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he was able to [br]help me find the words

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for my gender identity.

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Gender identity is[br]who we are.

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It's what we feel, live and experience.

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Gender expression

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is what we show to others.

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It's how we choose to[br]express that identity.

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It's possible to have a gender identity,

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for example, masculine:[br]where you are a man,

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but your gender expression[br]can be feminine, with many traits

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considered stereotypically feminine [br]in society.

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For example, Bilal Hassini[br]is a man

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with a feminine gender expression.

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I told my parents[br]that I was non-binary

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and that I wanted to change my name[br]at the same time.

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I was 20 years old, [br]this was a couple years ago.

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My mother took the news well.

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She was already familiar [br]with queerness.

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She was progressive and [br]I felt sad with her.

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It was a more delicate situation[br]with my dad.

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It took me a bit longer[br]to tell him

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and I didn't do it in person.

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I sent him a message,[br]because it was easier for me to cope with.

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He reacted quite well.

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He told me that he didn't [br]understand everything

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but he would always support me.

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It wouldn't change how he viewed me,[br]he would love me the same.

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It was harder for my grandmother [br]to understand

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because it was a concept[br]she was unfamiliar with.

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She grew up in the country[br]then moved to Paris.

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She was with my grandfather for 50 years.

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She was in a very cis-heteronormative [br]environment,

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where she never questioned her identity

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or the gender identity of others.

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She was a bit taken aback[br]when I told her,

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but she always tried to

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be respectful around me.

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She makes tremendous effort

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and rarely messes up and uses[br]my dead name.

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I applied for a name change[br]in 2019

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I submitted a request [br]to my local city hall.

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I filled out a document which included

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testimonies of those close to me

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confirming they address me by[br]the first name "Cami".

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I asked my school for a letter of support.

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After submitting all the documents,[br]I waited several months,

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- the wait time varies amongst city halls,

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and my name change was approved.

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Misgendering someone means[br]you're addressing them

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using the wrong pronouns.

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So you're gendering [br]a non-binary person

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who already explicitly stated

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that they use neutral pronouns: [br]"they' them"

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and you're gendering them[br]as male or female.

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Personally, I use female pronouns[br]when speaking,

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and neutral pronouns when writing.

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But in general, I tend to tell people[br]right away

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that I prefer being addressed with

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feminine pronouns when speaking.

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If someone doesn't tell you themselves

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and you want to ensure you're[br]gendering them correctly,

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you can ask them their pronouns

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or wait for them to gender themselves[br]and follow suit.

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On the videos I've made in the past,

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there were a lot of comments[br]invalidating our identities,

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and not acknowledging our gender [br]expressions and identities.

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I rarely read those comments

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because I know that they are [br]malicious or insensitive

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and they're meant to cause me pain.

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I've done a documentary where they

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said non-gendered people were [br]following a trend

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and they've only been seen in the

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United-States within the past 10 years;

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that it's related to fashion, [br]unisex fashion.

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That's completely false. I think that is

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a very white and Eurocentric viewpoint

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because in many cultures

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we can find many different [br]gender identities

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that were completely erased[br]due to colonisation

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Often enough, we hear that it's [br]problematic and uncomfortable

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using labels to identify and [br]re-identify, etc.

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but I think that it is super important

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to be able to identify ourselves [br]as something that distances

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from the identity[br]that we were assigned arbitrarily.

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I think you need to find a community

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to create a bond,[br]to know that you're not alone,

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that you have support,[br]that there are other people like us,

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that understand us, that listen to us.

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If I could say one thing,

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it would be that even if you don't [br]understand,

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you can always support and be an ally.

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You can learn, you can unlearn[br]ingrained ways of thinking,

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you can educate yourself, you can[br]help your loved ones,

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even if you don't understand

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everything related to their gender[br]identity.

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My last point is that all[br]non-binary people

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have different ways of expressing[br]their identity,

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there are those who transition medically,[br]that take hormones,

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and undergo gender-affirming surgery, [br]or not,

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regardless of the way we transition, [br]or not, - socially, medically, etc.

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our identity is valid, it exists[br]and our numbers are growing.