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Even if you don’t understand,

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you can still support us
and stand with us.

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Our identity is valid and it exists.

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[Testimonies:
Non-binary identity.]

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My name is Cami
I’m 22 years old, non-binary,

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and I’m here to speak 
about non-binary identity.

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Non-binary is an umbrella term

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that encompasses all gender identities

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that are neither totally masculine,
nor totally feminine.

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It can include agender identity, 
meaning “without gender”

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which is neutral
or it can be all fluid identities.

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Imagine if we placed gender
on a two-sided spectrum

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the masculine and the feminine:
you can move across that spectrum.

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These include individuals 
identifying as gender fluid, demi-gender,

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pangender, etc.

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I’ve never identified with 
a feminine identity.

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At 18, I already started
questioning my gender identity

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and I was in a relationship 
with a trans man

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and we were able to put 
my identity into words,

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which ended up being non-binary.

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I think it’s because he had
more information than me

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that he was able to help me 
figure out my identity.

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Gender identity is what we are.

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It’s the gender we feel, 
we live, and we experience.

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Gender expression is
is how we show our identity to others.

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It’s the way we express our identity.

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For example, someone can have 
a masculine identity:

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they are a man, 
and they can have a gender expression

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that is feminine, with many traits
that society considers feminine.

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For example, Bilal Hassani, is a man 
with a feminine gender expression.

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I told my parents that I was non-binary
and that I wanted to change my name.

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I was 20 years old, 
this was two years ago.

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My mom took it well.

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She was very well-informed 
on matters of gender.

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She was pretty open and very safe. 
I felt safe telling her.

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With my dad, things were more delicate.

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I took longer to come out to him
and I didn’t do it in person.

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I sent him a text,
because it as easier for me to manage.

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He reacted pretty well.

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He told me that 
he didn’t understand everything,

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but that he was there to support me,
and that it changed nothing for him,

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he loved me anyways.

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For my grandma, it was a little tricky,
because it was a foreign concept to her.

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She grew up in the countryside 
and then moved to Paris.

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She lived with my grandpa for 50 years.

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She lived in a very 
cis-heteronormative society,

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where she never questioned her identity,
or that of others.

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When I told her, she was a bit lost,

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but she always did her best
at being understanding with me.

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She makes a lot of effort and rarely
deadnames me.

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I applied to change my name in 2019.

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I applied to my city hall.

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I completed an application 
with statements from my loved ones

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who explained that they used the 
name “Cami” when speaking to me.

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I also asked my school 
for a letter of support.

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After that, I submitted my application.
I waited a few months,

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it depends on the city hall,
and then my name change was approved.

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The concept of misgendering someone
is addressing a person

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and not using their preferred pronouns.
For example:

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Gendering a non-binary individual

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who had explicitly told you that 
they preferred gender-neutral pronouns,

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such as “they/them,” and using
masculine or feminine pronouns, instead.

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I use feminine pronouns when speaking 
and neutral ones when writing.

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It’s true that, generally, 
I have a tendency to tell everyone

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that I prefer them to use 
feminine pronouns when they address me.

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If a person doesn’t do this and you want 
to be sure to use to correct pronouns,

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you can always ask which ones they use
or wait for them to tell you,

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in order to respect their identity.

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There have been many comments
on videos I’ve appeared in

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that invalidate our identities and negate
our gender expression and identity.

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I read very few of these comments,
because I know that most of them

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are written by people 
who are malicious or very inconsiderate

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and they just do it to hurt me.

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I’ve participated in a story in which 
people said that my identity was a fad,

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appearing in the United States 
in the last 10 years,

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and that it really had to do with fashion,
such as unisex clothing.

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That’s totally false. I also thing that 
it’s a very white

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and Eurocentric point of view,
because in many cultures,

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there are numerous gender identities
that have been totally erased

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during colonization.

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Often, we hear that it's problematic
and difficult to create

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more and more categories
to identify or reidentify ourselves with,

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but I think it’s very important to have
a way to identify ourselves with something

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to move away from the identity
that was assigned to us at birth.

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I also think it’s necessary because 
it enables people to find their community,

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to create links, to know that we are
not alone, that there is support,

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that there are others like us,
that will understand and listen to us.

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If I had one thing to say
it would be that,

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even if you don’t understand us
you can still support and stand with us.

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You can learn, you can undo
normative thinking.

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You can inform yourself and help
your loved ones,

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even if you don’t understand

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everything to do with 
their gender identity.

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Secondly is that non-binary people
express their identity in different ways.

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There are some who may
medically transition, take hormones,

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or undergo operations, but others won’t.

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Regardless of the way someone transitions,

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or not, socially,
medically etc.,

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our identity is legitimate. It exists and
we are many.