1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,670
Even if you don't understand

2
00:00:01,670 --> 00:00:03,814
You can still
support and standy by us.

3
00:00:03,814 --> 00:00:06,149
Our Identity is real
and it exists

4
00:00:06,149 --> 00:00:09,029
(Non-Binary Stories)

5
00:00:09,029 --> 00:00:11,560
My name is Cami, I'm 22 years old,
I am non-binary,

6
00:00:11,560 --> 00:00:13,521
and i'm here to explain
non-binary to you.

7
00:00:13,521 --> 00:00:15,245
Non-binary, 
is an umbrella term

8
00:00:15,245 --> 00:00:16,980
which includes
all gender identities

9
00:00:16,980 --> 00:00:18,975
that are neither
exclusively masculine

10
00:00:18,975 --> 00:00:20,698
or exclusively feminine.

11
00:00:20,698 --> 00:00:23,518
It can be agender, 
the "a" meaning a subtraction

12
00:00:23,518 --> 00:00:25,269
of gender 
or gender neutrality

13
00:00:25,269 --> 00:00:27,451
or it can include
all fluid identities.

14
00:00:27,460 --> 00:00:31,000
Like if we imagine gender
as a spectrum with two poles,

15
00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:32,350
masculine and feminine.

16
00:00:32,350 --> 00:00:34,612
You can have a moving cursor

17
00:00:34,612 --> 00:00:36,784
that includes all people
who are gender fluid,

18
00:00:36,784 --> 00:00:39,188
demi-gender, pangender, etc.

19
00:00:39,470 --> 00:00:41,865
I've never really identified
with femininity.

20
00:00:42,390 --> 00:00:45,164
At 18 years old, I already started

21
00:00:45,164 --> 00:00:47,494
to ask questions
on my gender identity

22
00:00:47,776 --> 00:00:49,626
and I met a trans man

23
00:00:49,626 --> 00:00:51,529
With whom I'd been with for a while,

24
00:00:51,529 --> 00:00:54,570
and together we were able define
my identity

25
00:00:54,570 --> 00:00:56,072
which was non-binary.

26
00:00:56,072 --> 00:00:57,689
and I think it was due to him

27
00:00:57,689 --> 00:00:59,366
having way more 
information than me

28
00:00:59,366 --> 00:01:03,070
that helped me find the words 
to explain my identity.

29
00:01:03,389 --> 00:01:05,453
Gender identity is about who you are,

30
00:01:05,453 --> 00:01:06,791
the gender we feel,

31
00:01:06,791 --> 00:01:08,904
that we live in, 
that we experience,

32
00:01:08,904 --> 00:01:12,947
and gender expression,
is what we show to others.

33
00:01:12,947 --> 00:01:15,645
It's how we express this our identity.

34
00:01:15,730 --> 00:01:18,000
It's possible to have a gender identity,

35
00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:19,599
that's for example, male,

36
00:01:19,699 --> 00:01:21,029
you are a man,

37
00:01:21,029 --> 00:01:22,991
and then have a gender expression

38
00:01:22,991 --> 00:01:24,774
that is feminine
with many markers

39
00:01:24,774 --> 00:01:26,124
society considers feminine.

40
00:01:26,124 --> 00:01:28,257
Like for example,
Bilal Hassani, is a man

41
00:01:28,257 --> 00:01:30,597
with a feminine gender expression.

42
00:01:31,134 --> 00:01:34,664
I came out to my parent
as non-binary

43
00:01:34,664 --> 00:01:36,532
and that I wanted
to change my pronouns

44
00:01:36,532 --> 00:01:37,637
at the same time.

45
00:01:37,639 --> 00:01:40,511
I was 20, it was two years ago.

46
00:01:41,757 --> 00:01:43,760
My mom took it well.

47
00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:46,718
She was already well-versed 
in gender issues

48
00:01:46,718 --> 00:01:49,262
She was quite casual and very safe,

49
00:01:49,262 --> 00:01:50,748
I felt safe.

50
00:01:51,264 --> 00:01:53,364
With my father, 
it was little trickier

51
00:01:53,364 --> 00:01:55,323
it took me a little longer 
to tell him

52
00:01:55,323 --> 00:01:57,875
and i didn't do it in person.

53
00:01:57,875 --> 00:01:59,731
I sent him a text
because it was easier

54
00:01:59,731 --> 00:02:01,180
for me to handle.

55
00:02:01,893 --> 00:02:03,685
He reacted fairly well.
He said that

56
00:02:03,685 --> 00:02:05,038
even if not fully
informed,

57
00:02:05,038 --> 00:02:06,950
he'd be there for me
no matter what

58
00:02:06,950 --> 00:02:08,650
and that it changes nothing 
for him

59
00:02:08,650 --> 00:02:09,862
and he loved me the same.

60
00:02:09,862 --> 00:02:12,041
For my grandma, it wasn't as clear

61
00:02:12,172 --> 00:02:14,332
as it was something 
very unfamiliar for her.

62
00:02:14,332 --> 00:02:17,258
She grew up in the countryside,
later moving to Paris.

63
00:02:17,258 --> 00:02:19,964
She lived with my grandpa for 50 years.

64
00:02:20,013 --> 00:02:22,513
She was in very 
cis-heteronormative social spaces

65
00:02:22,513 --> 00:02:24,751
where she never had questioned 
her identity

66
00:02:24,751 --> 00:02:26,086
or the identity of others.

67
00:02:26,247 --> 00:02:28,846
When I told her,
she was a bit taken aback,

68
00:02:29,126 --> 00:02:32,536
but she always made sure and insisted that

69
00:02:32,539 --> 00:02:35,039
She would act in the best way
she could with me.

70
00:02:35,039 --> 00:02:36,337
She puts in a lot of effort

71
00:02:36,337 --> 00:02:39,046
She is hardly wrong anymore
in using my preferred pronouns

72
00:02:39,046 --> 00:02:42,949
I made a request to change
my first name in 2019

73
00:02:43,885 --> 00:02:45,445
I filed a request

74
00:02:45,445 --> 00:02:47,855
to the town hall of where I lived.

75
00:02:48,479 --> 00:02:50,981
I took a dossier
which i had to fill

76
00:02:50,981 --> 00:02:52,960
with testimonies 
from those closest to me

77
00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:55,181
to say that they were using
the first name Cami

78
00:02:55,181 --> 00:02:56,395
to address me.

79
00:02:56,784 --> 00:03:00,015
I asked my school
to write me a letter of support

80
00:03:00,315 --> 00:03:01,864
Then I submitted my application.

81
00:03:01,864 --> 00:03:03,659
I waited for a few months,

82
00:03:03,659 --> 00:03:05,280
it differs by town hall.

83
00:03:05,385 --> 00:03:07,809
And I received approval 
to change my first name.

84
00:03:07,809 --> 00:03:09,327
The act of misgendering someone

85
00:03:09,327 --> 00:03:11,212
entails addressing this person

86
00:03:11,212 --> 00:03:12,741
with the wrong pronouns,

87
00:03:12,973 --> 00:03:15,173
Such as, gendering
a non-binary person

88
00:03:15,173 --> 00:03:17,512
who has explicitly said

89
00:03:17,884 --> 00:03:20,124
use neutral pronouns
like "they"

90
00:03:20,124 --> 00:03:23,561
and or gendering them
as feminine or masculin.

91
00:03:24,012 --> 00:03:26,465
Me personally,
I use feminine pronouns

92
00:03:26,465 --> 00:03:28,953
when in conversation
and neutral when written.

93
00:03:29,572 --> 00:03:32,412
But generally I have a
tendency to immediately verbalize

94
00:03:32,412 --> 00:03:36,300
that I prefer to be addressed
with feminine pronouns.

95
00:03:36,356 --> 00:03:38,543
After, if the person
doesn't say their own

96
00:03:38,543 --> 00:03:42,500
and you want to be sure
in gendering them correctly

97
00:03:42,565 --> 00:03:44,383
you can ask for their pronouns

98
00:03:44,395 --> 00:03:47,235
or wait for the person 
to gender themselves in front of you

99
00:03:47,235 --> 00:03:48,640
so you follow their pronouns.

100
00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:50,909
In my older videos,

101
00:03:50,979 --> 00:03:53,129
There was lots of comments

102
00:03:53,129 --> 00:03:55,331
that invalidated our identities,

103
00:03:55,331 --> 00:04:00,030
denied our expressed gender
and our gender identity.

104
00:04:00,580 --> 00:04:03,610
Afterwards, I read very few
of these comments

105
00:04:03,610 --> 00:04:05,482
simply because I know
for the most part,

106
00:04:05,482 --> 00:04:08,449
They are malicious
or very, very ignorant

107
00:04:08,449 --> 00:04:10,134
and they will only cause me grief.

108
00:04:10,134 --> 00:04:14,179
I once participated in a report
in which it was said

109
00:04:14,179 --> 00:04:15,549
that it was just a phase,

110
00:04:15,549 --> 00:04:19,622
that it has just emerged 
in the US over the last few years

111
00:04:19,622 --> 00:04:24,256
that it was connected to fashion,
unisex fashion, etc.

112
00:04:24,256 --> 00:04:26,402
That is completely false.
I also think it's

113
00:04:26,456 --> 00:04:32,836
a super white
and eurocentric point of view

114
00:04:32,836 --> 00:04:34,847
because, in many cultures

115
00:04:34,847 --> 00:04:37,118
there are many gender identities

116
00:04:37,118 --> 00:04:39,068
that were totally erased

117
00:04:39,069 --> 00:04:41,184
through colonization, 
to put it simply.

118
00:04:41,184 --> 00:04:44,572
So often, we hear
that this is problematic

119
00:04:44,572 --> 00:04:49,994
and it's uncomfortable make people
identify, reidentify themselves, etc.

120
00:04:49,994 --> 00:04:51,893
but I think it's super important

121
00:04:51,893 --> 00:04:55,288
to be able to choose in the first place
how we identify with something,

122
00:04:55,288 --> 00:04:57,400
and to be able
unidentify with an identity

123
00:04:57,400 --> 00:04:59,419
thats was assigned to us 
at random.

124
00:04:59,419 --> 00:05:02,197
I also think it's necessary
to build a community,

125
00:05:02,197 --> 00:05:04,603
to create a connection, 
to know you're not alone,

126
00:05:04,603 --> 00:05:05,655
that there is support,

127
00:05:05,655 --> 00:05:07,941
that there are other people
who are just like us,

128
00:05:07,941 --> 00:05:09,367
who understand us, 
who listen.

129
00:05:09,367 --> 00:05:11,025
If I could only say one thing,

130
00:05:11,025 --> 00:05:13,553
I think it would be
that even if you don't understand,

131
00:05:13,553 --> 00:05:15,906
you can alway support and stand by us.

132
00:05:16,097 --> 00:05:19,417
You can learn,
you can deconstruct your ideologies,

133
00:05:19,697 --> 00:05:22,949
You can relearn,
you can help those close to you

134
00:05:22,949 --> 00:05:24,819
even if you don't completely understand

135
00:05:24,819 --> 00:05:28,131
the entire scope
of their gender identity.

136
00:05:28,249 --> 00:05:30,759
A second thing, 
is that all non-binary people

137
00:05:30,759 --> 00:05:34,474
have a unique way
of expressing their identity,

138
00:05:34,474 --> 00:05:37,602
There are people
who will do medical transitions,

139
00:05:37,602 --> 00:05:38,999
those who will take hormones,

140
00:05:38,999 --> 00:05:40,189
who will have operations,

141
00:05:40,189 --> 00:05:40,974
others who won't

142
00:05:40,974 --> 00:05:45,283
and that the method of transition or not

143
00:05:45,283 --> 00:05:47,662
whether socially, medically, etc. 
does not matter

144
00:05:47,662 --> 00:05:49,663
Our identity remains legitimate
It exists

145
00:05:49,754 --> 00:05:52,774
and there is many of us,
so many.