0:00:00.000,0:00:01.670
Even if you don't understand

0:00:01.670,0:00:03.814
You can still[br]support and standy by us.

0:00:03.814,0:00:06.149
Our Identity is real[br]and it exists

0:00:06.149,0:00:09.029
(Non-Binary Stories)

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My name is Cami, I'm 22 years old,[br]I am non-binary,

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and i'm here to explain[br]non-binary to you.

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Non-binary, [br]is an umbrella term

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which includes[br]all gender identities

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that are neither[br]exclusively masculine

0:00:18.975,0:00:20.698
or exclusively feminine.

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It can be agender, [br]the "a" meaning a subtraction

0:00:23.518,0:00:25.269
of gender [br]or gender neutrality

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or it can include[br]all fluid identities.

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Like if we imagine gender[br]as a spectrum with two poles,

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masculine and feminine.

0:00:32.350,0:00:34.612
You can have a moving cursor

0:00:34.612,0:00:36.784
that includes all people[br]who are gender fluid,

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demi-gender, pangender, etc.

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I've never really identified[br]with femininity.

0:00:42.390,0:00:45.164
At 18 years old, I already started

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to ask questions[br]on my gender identity

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and I met a trans man

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With whom I'd been with for a while,

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and together we were able define[br]my identity

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which was non-binary.

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and I think it was due to him

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having way more [br]information than me

0:00:59.366,0:01:03.070
that helped me find the words [br]to explain my identity.

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Gender identity is about who you are,

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the gender we feel,

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that we live in, [br]that we experience,

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and gender expression,[br]is what we show to others.

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It's how we express our identity.

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It's possible to have a gender identity,

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that's for example, male,

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you are a man,

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and then have a gender expression

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that is feminine[br]with many markers

0:01:24.774,0:01:26.124
society considers feminine.

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Like for example,[br]Bilal Hassani, is a man

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with a feminine gender expression.

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I came out to my parents[br]as non-binary

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and that I wanted[br]to change my pronouns

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at the same time.

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I was 20, it was two years ago.

0:01:41.757,0:01:43.760
My mom took it well.

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She was already well-versed [br]in gender issues

0:01:46.718,0:01:49.262
She was quite casual and very safe,

0:01:49.262,0:01:50.748
I felt safe.

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With my father, [br]it was little trickier

0:01:53.364,0:01:55.323
it took me a little longer [br]to tell him

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and i didn't do it in person.

0:01:57.875,0:01:59.731
I sent him a text[br]because it was easier

0:01:59.731,0:02:01.180
for me to handle.

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He reacted fairly well.[br]He said that

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even if not fully[br]informed,

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he'd be there for me[br]no matter what

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and that it changes nothing [br]for him

0:02:08.650,0:02:09.862
and he loved me the same.

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For my grandma, it wasn't as clear

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as it was something [br]very unfamiliar for her.

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She grew up in the countryside,[br]later moving to Paris.

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She lived with my grandpa for 50 years.

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She was in very [br]cis-heteronormative social spaces

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where she never had questioned [br]her identity

0:02:24.751,0:02:26.086
or the identity of others.

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When I told her,[br]she was a bit taken aback,

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but she always made sure and insisted that

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She would act in the best way[br]she could with me.

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She puts in a lot of effort

0:02:36.337,0:02:39.046
She is hardly wrong anymore[br]in using my preferred pronouns

0:02:39.046,0:02:42.949
I made a request to change[br]my first name in 2019

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I filed a request

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to the town hall of where I lived.

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I took a dossier[br]which i had to fill

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with testimonies [br]from those closest to me

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to say that they were using[br]the first name Cami

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to address me.

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I asked my school[br]to write me a letter of support

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Then I submitted my application.

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I waited for a few months,

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it differs by town hall.

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And I received approval [br]to change my first name.

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The act of misgendering someone

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entails addressing this person

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with the wrong pronouns,

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Such as, gendering[br]a non-binary person

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who has explicitly said

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use neutral pronouns[br]like "they"

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and or gendering them[br]as feminine or masculine.

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Me personally,[br]I use feminine pronouns

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when in conversation[br]and neutral when written.

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But generally I have a[br]tendency to immediately verbalize

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that I prefer to be addressed[br]with feminine pronouns.

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After, if the person[br]doesn't say their own

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and you want to be sure[br]in gendering them correctly

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you can ask for their pronouns

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or wait for the person [br]to gender themselves in front of you

0:03:47.235,0:03:48.640
so you follow their pronouns.

0:03:48.640,0:03:50.909
In my older videos,

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There was lots of comments

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that invalidated our identities,

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denied our expressed gender[br]and our gender identity.

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Afterwards, I read very few[br]of these comments

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simply because I know[br]for the most part,

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They are malicious[br]or very, very ignorant

0:04:08.449,0:04:10.134
and they will only cause me grief.

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I once participated in a report[br]in which it was said

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that it was just a phase,

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that it has just emerged [br]in the US over the last few years

0:04:19.622,0:04:24.256
that it was connected to fashion,[br]unisex fashion, etc.

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That is completely false.[br]I also think it's

0:04:26.456,0:04:32.836
a super white[br]and eurocentric point of view

0:04:32.836,0:04:34.847
because, in many cultures

0:04:34.847,0:04:37.118
there are many gender identities

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that were totally erased

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through colonization, [br]to put it simply.

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So often, we hear[br]that this is problematic

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and it's uncomfortable make people[br]identify, reidentify themselves, etc.

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but I think it's super important

0:04:51.893,0:04:55.288
to be able to choose in the first place[br]how we identify with something,

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and to be able to[br]unidentify with an identity

0:04:57.400,0:04:59.419
that was assigned to us [br]at random.

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I also think it's necessary[br]to build a community,

0:05:02.197,0:05:04.603
to create a connection, [br]to know you're not alone,

0:05:04.603,0:05:05.655
that there is support,

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that there are other people[br]who are just like us,

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who understand us, [br]who listen.

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If I could only say one thing,

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I think it would be[br]that even if you don't understand,

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you can alway support and stand by us.

0:05:16.097,0:05:19.417
You can learn,[br]you can deconstruct your ideologies,

0:05:19.697,0:05:22.949
You can relearn,[br]you can help those close to you

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even if you don't completely understand

0:05:24.819,0:05:28.131
the entire scope[br]of their gender identity.

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A second thing, [br]is that all non-binary people

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have a unique way[br]of expressing their identity,

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There are people[br]who will do medical transitions,

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those who will take hormones,

0:05:38.999,0:05:40.189
who will have operations,

0:05:40.189,0:05:40.974
others who won't

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and that the method of how you[br]transition or not

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whether socially, medically, etc. [br]does not matter

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Our identity remains legitimate[br]It exists

0:05:49.754,0:05:52.774
and there is many of us,[br]so many.