WEBVTT

00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.670
Even if you don't understand

00:00:01.670 --> 00:00:03.814
You can still
support and standy by us.

00:00:03.814 --> 00:00:06.149
Our Identity is real
and it exists

00:00:06.149 --> 00:00:09.029
(Non-Binary Stories)

00:00:09.029 --> 00:00:11.560
My name is Cami, I'm 22 years old,
I am non-binary,

00:00:11.560 --> 00:00:13.521
and i'm here to explain
non-binary to you.

00:00:13.521 --> 00:00:15.245
Non-binary, 
is an umbrella term

00:00:15.245 --> 00:00:16.980
which includes
all gender identities

00:00:16.980 --> 00:00:18.975
that are neither
exclusively male

00:00:18.975 --> 00:00:20.698
or exclusively female.

00:00:20.698 --> 00:00:23.518
It can be agender, 
the "a" meaning a subtraction

00:00:23.518 --> 00:00:25.269
of gender 
or gender neutrality

00:00:25.269 --> 00:00:27.451
or it can include
all fluid identities.

00:00:27.460 --> 00:00:34.740
Like if we imagine gender
as a spectrum with two poles,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
male and female.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You can have a moving cursor

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that includes all people
who are gender fluid,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
demi-gender, pangender, etc.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I've never really identified
with femininity.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
At 18 years old, I already started

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
to ask questions

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
on my gender identity,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and I met a trans man

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
With whom I'd been with for a while,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and together we were able define
my identity

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
which was non-binary.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I think it was due to him

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
having way more 
information than me

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that helped me find the words 
to explain my identity.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Gender identity is about who you are,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
the gender we feel,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that we live in, 
that we experience,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and gender expression,
is what we show to others.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
It's how we express this our identity.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
It's possible to have a gender identity,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that's for example, male,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
you are a man,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and then have a gender expression

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that is feminine
with many markers

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
society considers feminine.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Like for example,
Bilal Hassan, is a man

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
with a feminine gender expression.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I came out to my parent
as non-binary

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and that I wanted
to change my pronouns

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
at the same time.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I was 20, it was two years ago.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
My mom took it well.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
She was already well-versed in gender issues

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
She was quite casual and very safe,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I felt safe.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
With my father, 
it was little trickier

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
it took me a little longer 
to tell him

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and i didn't do it in person.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I sent him a text

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Because it was easier
for me to handle.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
He reacted fairly well.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
He said that
he didn't understand it all,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
but that in any case
he'd be there for me

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and that it changes nothing 
for him

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and that he loved me all the same.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
For my grandma, it wasn't as simple

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
as it was something 
very unfamiliar for her.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
She grew up in the countryside,
later moving to Paris.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
She lived with my grandpa for 50 years.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
She was in very 
cis-heteronormative social spaces

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
where she never had questioned 
her identity

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
or the identity of others.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
When I told her,
she was a bit taken aback,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
but she always made sure and insisted that

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
She would act in the best way
she could with me.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
She puts in a lot of effort

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
She is hardly ever wrong anymore

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
in using my preferred pronouns.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I ma de a request to change
my first name in 2019

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I filed a request

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
to the town hall of where I lived.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I took a dossier
which i had to fill with

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
with testimonies 
from those closest to me

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
to say that they were using
the first name Cami

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
to address me.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I asked my school
to write me a letter of support.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Then I submitted my application.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I had to wait a few months,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
it differs by town hall.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And I received approval 
to change my first name.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
The act of misgendering someone

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
entails addressing this person

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
with the wrong pronouns,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Therefore, gendering
a non-binary person

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
who has explicitly said

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
use neutral pronouns
like "iel" --(they?)

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and or gendering them
as male or female.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Me personally,
I use feminine pronouns

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
when in conversation
and neutral when written.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But it's true that in general
I have a tendency to immediately verbalize

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that I prefer to be addressed
with female pronouns.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
After, if the person
doesn't say their own

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and you want to be sure
in gendering them correctly

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
you can ask for their pronouns

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
or wait for the person 
to gender themselves in front of you

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
so you follow their pronouns.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
In my older videos,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
There was lots of comments

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that invalidated our identities,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
denied our expressed gender
and our gender identity.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Afterwards, I read very few
of these comments

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
simply because I know
for the most part,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
They are malicious
or very, very ignorant

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and they will only cause me grief.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I was participated in a report (study?)
in which it was said

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that it was just a phase,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that it has just emerged 
in the United States over the last few years

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that it was connected to fashion,
unisex fashion, etc.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
That is completely false.
I also think it's

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
a super white
and eurocentric point of view

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
because, in many cultures

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
there are many genders

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that were totally erased

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
through colonization, 
to put it simply.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So often, we hear
that this is problematic

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and it's uncomfortable to put people
in positions to identify, reidentify yourself, etc.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
but I think it's super important

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
to be able to choose in the first place
how we identify with something,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
to unidentify with an identity

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
thats was assigned to us 
at random (arbitrarily).

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I also think it's necessary
to build a community,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
to create a connection, 
to know you're not alone,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that there is support,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that there are other people
who are just like us,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
who understand us, 
who listens to us.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
If I could only say one thing,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I think it would be
that even if you don't understand,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
you can alway support and stand by us.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You can learn
you can deconstruct your ideologies,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You can relearn,
you can help those close to you

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
even if you don't completely understand

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
the entire scope
of their gender identity.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
A second thing, 
is that all no-binary people

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
have a unique way
of expressing their identity,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
There are people
who will do medical transitions,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
those who will take hormones,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
those who will have operations,
others who won't

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and that the method of transition or not

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
whether socially, medically, etc. does not matter

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Our identity remains legitimate
It exists

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and there is many of us,
so many.