WEBVTT

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Even if you don't understand

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you can always support and assist us.

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Our identity remain legitimate

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and it exists.

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My name is Cami, I'm 22 years old,

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I'm non-binary

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and I'm here to talk about my identity

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'Non-binary' is an umbrella term

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that includes all the identities that are

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neither exclusively masculine nor feminine

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That could be agender, with "a" meaning

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a subtraction without gender.

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Which is neutral. Or it can be all

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the fluid identities, as we imagine gender

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as a spectrum with two poles, masculine

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and feminine. And there is a cursor

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which moves. So all people who are

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genderfluid, demigender, pangender, etc.

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I never really identified with femininity.

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At 18, I started to ask myself questions

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on my gender identity and I met

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a trans man, who I was with for awhile

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and we finally put together some words

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for my identity, so 'non-binary'.

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I think it's because he had more info

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than me. He helped me find the words for

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my identity. Gender identity is what

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we are. It's the gender we feel, our

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lives, and what we experiment with.

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and gender expression is what we present

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to others. It's the way we express

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that identity. You could have a gender

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identity, for example, that's masculine

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so a man, and you can have a gender

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expression that is feminine, with markers

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considered as feminine in society.

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Like for example, Bilal Hassani, he is

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a man with a feminine gender expression.

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I told my parents that I was non binary

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and that I wanted to change my name also.

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I was 20, so two years ago

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and my mom took it quite well.

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She was already up to date with questions

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about gender. She deconstructed them

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and it was safe, I felt secure.

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For my dad, it was a little bit delicate.

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I took more time to talk to him

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and I didn't do it in person. I actually

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sent him a message, as it was easier

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for me to manage. And he took it well.

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He said he didn't understand it all,

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but he would support me regardless

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and that it wouldn't change anything

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he loved me the same.

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For my grandma, it was less clear,

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it's something unfamiliar for her.

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She grew up in the countryside. Then

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she came to Paris. She lived with

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my grandpa for 50 years.

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She lived in very cis heteronormative

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contexts, where she never asked questions

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on her identity or of others.

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So when I talked to her about it, she

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was caught off guard, but she always

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tried her best to behave in the best way

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she can with me. She's make a lot

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of effort, she doesn't make anymore

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mistakes with saying my name now.

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I made an application to chance my name

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in 2019, I submitted the application to

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the city where I was living in. I obtained

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a file that I filled with witnesses from

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my close friends, to show that they use

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the name Cami to refer to me. I asked

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my school to write a letter of support.

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Then, I submitted my file and waited a

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few months. The time span varies according

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to cities. And then I got my name change

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accepted.

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The fact of wrongly gendering someone

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is to address that person while using

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the wrong pronouns. So using gendered

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pronouns for a non-binary person who had

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explicitly said to use neutral pronouns

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like "them" and to gender them using

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feminine or masculine pronouns.

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Personally, I use pronouns referred to

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as "feminine" when speaking and neutral

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in writing. But, in general, I have the

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tendency to say right away that I prefer

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to use feminine pronouns for speaking.

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After, if a person doesn't do that

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for themselves, and you want to be sure

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you are correctly gendering them,

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you can ask them for their pronouns

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or wait until the person refers to

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themselves to follow their suit.

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In the videos that I've done previously

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There was a lot of comments

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which invalidated our identities

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and denied our gender expressions

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and identity. I personally don't read many

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of those comments since I know they are

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mostly malicious or ill-intentioned

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and just want to cause pain.

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I already participated in a report

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where we could hear that it's just

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a trend which came up a few years ago

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in the US, around 10 years ago.

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that it had a connection to fashion also,

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and unisex fashion, etc.

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That is completely false, I think that

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it's also a very white perspective

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and very Eurocentric.

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because in many cultures, we will find

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many gender identities that were totally

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erased during colonization.

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Oftentimes, we hear that it's problematic

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or it's annoying to recreate more and more

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ways to identify ourselves, but I think

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it is very important to be able to,

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mainly identify as something so

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to unidentify from an identity that

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was assigned to us arbitrarily.

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I think it's also necessary to find

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a community to create connections, to know

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you're not alone, where there is support,

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and where there are others who are like us

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who know and listen to us.

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If I had one single thing to say, I think

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it would be that even if you don't

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understand, you can always support

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and assist us. You can learn, you can

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deconstruct your ways of thinking.

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You can educate yourself, you can help

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your close friends, even if you don't

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understand their whole gender identity.

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Another thing, all non-binary people have

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different ways of expressing their

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identity, there are some who want to do

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medicals transitions, take hormones,

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who will do surgery operations, while

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others won't, but no matter the way you

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transition or not socially or medically,

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our identities remain legitimate,

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they exist, and there are many of us.