1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,370 Even if you don't understand 2 00:00:01,370 --> 00:00:03,560 you can always support and assist us. 3 00:00:03,560 --> 00:00:05,198 Our identity remains legitimate 4 00:00:05,198 --> 00:00:06,488 and it exists. 5 00:00:09,183 --> 00:00:10,847 My name is Cami, I'm 22 years old, 6 00:00:10,847 --> 00:00:11,567 I'm non-binary 7 00:00:11,567 --> 00:00:13,417 and I'm here to talk about my identity 8 00:00:13,417 --> 00:00:15,147 'Non-binary' is an umbrella term 9 00:00:15,147 --> 00:00:17,649 that includes all gender identities that 10 00:00:17,649 --> 00:00:19,467 are neither exclusively masculine 11 00:00:19,467 --> 00:00:20,467 nor feminine 12 00:00:20,467 --> 00:00:22,707 That could be agender, with "a" meaning 13 00:00:22,707 --> 00:00:24,357 a subtraction, so without gender 14 00:00:24,357 --> 00:00:26,517 which is neutral. Or it can be all 15 00:00:26,517 --> 00:00:29,588 the fluid identities, as we imagine gender 16 00:00:29,588 --> 00:00:31,518 as a spectrum with two poles, masculine 17 00:00:31,518 --> 00:00:33,498 and feminine. And there is a cursor 18 00:00:33,498 --> 00:00:35,116 which slides. So all people who are 19 00:00:35,116 --> 00:00:39,116 genderfluid, demigender, pangender, etc. 20 00:00:39,245 --> 00:00:41,905 I never really related to femininity. 21 00:00:41,905 --> 00:00:45,945 At 18, I started to ask myself questions 22 00:00:45,945 --> 00:00:48,881 on my gender identity and I met 23 00:00:48,881 --> 00:00:51,609 a trans man, who I was with for awhile 24 00:00:51,609 --> 00:00:54,156 and we put together some words 25 00:00:54,156 --> 00:00:56,590 for my identity, so 'non-binary'. 26 00:00:56,590 --> 00:00:58,813 I think it's because he had more info 27 00:00:58,813 --> 00:01:02,303 than me. He helped me find the words for 28 00:01:02,303 --> 00:01:05,230 my identity. Gender identity is what 29 00:01:05,230 --> 00:01:07,698 we are. It's the gender we feel, our 30 00:01:07,698 --> 00:01:09,678 lives, and what we experiment with. 31 00:01:09,678 --> 00:01:12,708 and gender expression is what we present 32 00:01:12,708 --> 00:01:15,830 to others. It's the way we express 33 00:01:15,830 --> 00:01:17,813 that identity. You could have a gender 34 00:01:17,813 --> 00:01:19,943 identity, for example, that's masculine 35 00:01:19,943 --> 00:01:22,483 so a man, and you can have a gender 36 00:01:22,483 --> 00:01:24,696 expression that is feminine, with markers 37 00:01:24,696 --> 00:01:26,536 considered as feminine in society. 38 00:01:26,536 --> 00:01:28,590 Like for example, Bilal Hassani, he is 39 00:01:28,590 --> 00:01:30,955 a man with a feminine gender expression. 40 00:01:30,955 --> 00:01:34,983 I told my parents that I was non binary 41 00:01:34,983 --> 00:01:37,948 and that I wanted to change my name also. 42 00:01:37,948 --> 00:01:40,534 I was 20, so two years ago 43 00:01:40,534 --> 00:01:43,474 and my mom took it quite well. 44 00:01:43,474 --> 00:01:46,404 She was already up to date with questions 45 00:01:46,404 --> 00:01:48,840 about gender. She deconstructed them 46 00:01:48,840 --> 00:01:51,380 and it was safe, I felt secure. 47 00:01:51,380 --> 00:01:53,610 For my dad, it was a little bit delicate. 48 00:01:53,610 --> 00:01:55,690 I took more time to talk to him 49 00:01:55,690 --> 00:01:58,313 and I didn't do it in person. I actually 50 00:01:58,313 --> 00:02:00,103 sent him a message, as it was easier 51 00:02:00,103 --> 00:02:03,283 for me to manage. And he took it well. 52 00:02:03,283 --> 00:02:05,980 He said he didn't understand it all, 53 00:02:05,980 --> 00:02:06,918 but he would support me regardless 54 00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:08,686 and that it wouldn't change anything 55 00:02:08,686 --> 00:02:09,696 he loved me the same. 56 00:02:09,696 --> 00:02:11,334 For my grandma, it was less clear, 57 00:02:11,334 --> 00:02:14,564 it's something unfamiliar for her. 58 00:02:14,564 --> 00:02:16,394 She grew up in the countryside. Then 59 00:02:16,394 --> 00:02:18,390 she came to Paris. She lived with 60 00:02:18,390 --> 00:02:20,490 my grandpa for 50 years. 61 00:02:20,490 --> 00:02:22,411 She lived in a very cis heteronormative 62 00:02:22,411 --> 00:02:24,326 context, where she never asked questions 63 00:02:24,326 --> 00:02:26,136 on her identity or of others. 64 00:02:26,136 --> 00:02:27,958 So when I talked to her about it, she 65 00:02:27,958 --> 00:02:30,888 was caught off guard, but she always 66 00:02:30,888 --> 00:02:33,801 tried her best to behave in the best way 67 00:02:33,801 --> 00:02:35,771 she can with me. She's make a lot 68 00:02:35,771 --> 00:02:37,561 of effort, she doesn't make anymore 69 00:02:37,561 --> 00:02:39,241 mistakes with saying my name now. 70 00:02:39,241 --> 00:02:41,182 I made an application to change my name 71 00:02:41,182 --> 00:02:45,182 in 2019, I submitted the application to 72 00:02:45,182 --> 00:02:49,182 the city where I was living in. I obtained 73 00:02:49,182 --> 00:02:51,972 a file that I filled with witnesses from 74 00:02:51,972 --> 00:02:53,891 my close friends, to show that they use 75 00:02:53,891 --> 00:02:57,251 the name Cami to refer to me. I asked 76 00:02:57,251 --> 00:02:59,931 my school to write a letter of support. 77 00:02:59,931 --> 00:03:02,556 Then, I submitted my file and waited a 78 00:03:02,556 --> 00:03:04,856 few months. The time span varies according 79 00:03:04,856 --> 00:03:07,136 to cities. And then I got my name change 80 00:03:07,136 --> 00:03:08,126 accepted. 81 00:03:08,126 --> 00:03:09,986 The fact of wrongly gendering someone 82 00:03:09,986 --> 00:03:12,176 is to address that person while using 83 00:03:12,176 --> 00:03:14,596 the wrong pronouns. So using gendered 84 00:03:14,596 --> 00:03:16,561 pronouns for a non-binary person who had 85 00:03:16,561 --> 00:03:19,231 explicitly said to use neutral pronouns 86 00:03:19,231 --> 00:03:21,687 like "them" and to gender them using 87 00:03:21,687 --> 00:03:23,886 feminine or masculine pronouns. 88 00:03:23,886 --> 00:03:26,246 Personally, I use pronouns referred to 89 00:03:26,246 --> 00:03:28,546 as "feminine" when speaking and neutral 90 00:03:28,546 --> 00:03:31,795 in writing. But, in general, I have the 91 00:03:31,795 --> 00:03:33,829 tendency to say right away that I prefer 92 00:03:33,829 --> 00:03:36,637 to use feminine pronouns for speaking. 93 00:03:36,637 --> 00:03:38,297 After, if a person doesn't do that 94 00:03:38,297 --> 00:03:40,897 for themselves, and you want to be sure 95 00:03:40,897 --> 00:03:42,697 you are correctly gendering them, 96 00:03:42,697 --> 00:03:44,584 you can ask them for their pronouns 97 00:03:44,584 --> 00:03:46,668 or wait until the person refers to 98 00:03:46,668 --> 00:03:48,598 themselves to follow their suit. 99 00:03:48,598 --> 00:03:50,618 In the videos that I've done previously 100 00:03:50,618 --> 00:03:52,783 There was a lot of comments 101 00:03:52,783 --> 00:03:55,313 which invalidated our identities 102 00:03:55,313 --> 00:03:58,926 and denied our gender expressions 103 00:03:58,926 --> 00:04:02,944 and identity. I personally don't read many 104 00:04:02,944 --> 00:04:05,358 of those comments since I know they are 105 00:04:05,358 --> 00:04:08,558 mostly malicious or ill-intentioned 106 00:04:08,558 --> 00:04:10,468 and just want to cause pain. 107 00:04:10,468 --> 00:04:12,622 I already participated in a reporting 108 00:04:12,622 --> 00:04:14,727 where we could hear that it's just 109 00:04:14,727 --> 00:04:17,347 a trend which came up a few years ago 110 00:04:17,347 --> 00:04:19,341 in the US, around 10 years ago. 111 00:04:19,341 --> 00:04:22,730 that it had a connection to fashion also, 112 00:04:22,730 --> 00:04:24,510 and unisex fashion, etc. 113 00:04:24,510 --> 00:04:26,363 That is completely false, I think that 114 00:04:26,363 --> 00:04:30,363 it's also a very white perspective 115 00:04:30,363 --> 00:04:32,665 and very Eurocentric. 116 00:04:32,665 --> 00:04:35,565 because in many cultures, we will find 117 00:04:35,565 --> 00:04:38,415 many gender identities that were totally 118 00:04:38,415 --> 00:04:40,545 erased during colonization. 119 00:04:40,545 --> 00:04:44,395 Oftentimes, we hear that it's problematic 120 00:04:44,395 --> 00:04:47,615 or it's annoying to recreate more and more 121 00:04:47,615 --> 00:04:50,555 ways to identify ourselves, but I think 122 00:04:50,555 --> 00:04:53,355 it is very important to be able to, 123 00:04:53,355 --> 00:04:55,670 mainly identify as something so 124 00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:57,657 to unidentify from an identity that 125 00:04:57,657 --> 00:04:59,265 was assigned to us arbitrarily. 126 00:04:59,265 --> 00:05:01,409 I think it's also necessary to find 127 00:05:01,409 --> 00:05:03,585 a community to create connections, to know 128 00:05:03,585 --> 00:05:05,800 you're not alone, where there is support, 129 00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:08,210 and there are others who are like us 130 00:05:08,210 --> 00:05:09,479 who know and listen to us. 131 00:05:09,479 --> 00:05:11,459 If I had one single thing to say, I think 132 00:05:11,459 --> 00:05:13,100 it would be that even if you don't 133 00:05:13,100 --> 00:05:15,200 understand, you can always support 134 00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:17,610 and assist us. You can learn, you can 135 00:05:17,610 --> 00:05:19,332 deconstruct your ways of thinking. 136 00:05:19,332 --> 00:05:22,440 You can educate yourself, you can help 137 00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:23,866 your close friends, even if you don't 138 00:05:23,866 --> 00:05:27,866 understand their whole gender identity. 139 00:05:27,866 --> 00:05:30,956 Another thing, all non-binary people have 140 00:05:30,956 --> 00:05:33,906 different ways of expressing their 141 00:05:33,906 --> 00:05:36,646 identity, there are some who want to do 142 00:05:36,646 --> 00:05:38,466 medical transitions, take hormones, 143 00:05:38,466 --> 00:05:40,296 who will do surgery operations, while 144 00:05:40,296 --> 00:05:44,021 others won't, but no matter the way you 145 00:05:44,021 --> 00:05:46,350 transition or not, socially or medically, 146 00:05:46,350 --> 00:05:48,850 our identities remain legitimate, 147 00:05:48,850 --> 00:05:52,850 they exist, and there are many of us.