0:00:00.000,0:00:01.370
Even if you don't understand

0:00:01.370,0:00:03.560
you can always support and assist us.

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Our identity remains legitimate

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and it exists.

0:00:09.183,0:00:10.847
My name is Cami, I'm 22 years old,

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I'm non-binary

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and I'm here to talk about my binarité

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'Non-binary' is an umbrella term

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that includes all gender identities that

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are neither exclusively masculine

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nor feminine

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That could be agender, with "a" meaning

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a subtraction, so without gender

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which is neutral. Or it can be all

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the fluid identities, as we imagine gender

0:00:29.588,0:00:31.518
as a spectrum with two poles, masculine

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and feminine. And there is a cursor

0:00:33.498,0:00:35.116
which slides. So all people who are

0:00:35.116,0:00:39.116
genderfluid, demigender, pangender, etc.

0:00:39.245,0:00:41.905
I never really related to femininity.

0:00:41.905,0:00:45.945
At 18, I started to ask myself questions

0:00:45.945,0:00:48.881
on my gender identity and I met

0:00:48.881,0:00:51.609
a trans man, who I was with for awhile

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and we put together some words

0:00:54.156,0:00:56.590
for my identity, so 'non-binary'.

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I think it's because he had more info

0:00:58.813,0:01:02.303
than me. He helped me find the words for

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my identity. Gender identity is what

0:01:05.230,0:01:07.698
we are. It's the gender we feel, our

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lives, and what we experiment with.

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and gender expression is what we present

0:01:12.708,0:01:15.470
to others. It's the way we express

0:01:15.470,0:01:17.813
that identity. You could have a gender

0:01:17.813,0:01:19.943
identity, for example, that's masculine

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so a man, and you can have a gender

0:01:22.483,0:01:24.696
expression that is feminine, with markers

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considered as feminine in society.

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Like for example, James Charles, he is

0:01:28.590,0:01:30.955
a man with a feminine gender expression.

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I told my parents that I was non binary

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and that I wanted to change my name also.

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I was 20, so two years ago

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and my mom took it quite well.

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She was already up to date with questions

0:01:46.404,0:01:48.840
about gender. She deconstructed them

0:01:48.840,0:01:51.380
and it was safe, I felt secure.

0:01:51.380,0:01:53.610
For my dad, it was a little bit delicate.

0:01:53.610,0:01:55.690
I took more time to talk to him

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and I didn't do it in person. I actually

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sent him a message, as it was easier

0:02:00.103,0:02:03.283
for me to manage. And he took it well.

0:02:03.283,0:02:05.300
He said he didn't understand it all,

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but he would support me regardless

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and that it wouldn't change anything

0:02:08.686,0:02:09.696
he loved me the same.

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For my grandma, it was less clear,

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it's something unfamiliar for her.

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She grew up in the countryside. Then

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she came to Paris. She lived with

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my grandpa for 50 years.

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She lived in a very cis heteronormative

0:02:22.411,0:02:24.326
context, where she never asked questions

0:02:24.326,0:02:26.136
on her identity or of others.

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So when I talked to her about it, she

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was caught off guard, but she always

0:02:30.888,0:02:33.801
tried her best to behave in the best way

0:02:33.801,0:02:35.771
she can with me. She makes a lot

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of effort, she doesn't make anymore

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mistakes with saying my name now.

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I made an application to change my name

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in 2019, I submitted the application to

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the city where I was living in. I obtained

0:02:49.182,0:02:51.972
a file that I filled with witnesses from

0:02:51.972,0:02:53.891
my close friends, to show that they use

0:02:53.891,0:02:57.251
the name Cami to refer to me. I asked

0:02:57.251,0:02:59.931
my school to write a letter of support.

0:02:59.931,0:03:02.556
Then, I submitted my file and waited a

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few months. The time span varies according

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to cities. And then I got my name change

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accepted.

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The fact of wrongly gendering someone

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is to address that person while using

0:03:12.176,0:03:14.596
the wrong pronouns. So using gendered

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pronouns for a non-binary person who had

0:03:16.561,0:03:19.231
explicitly said to use neutral pronouns

0:03:19.231,0:03:21.687
like "them" and to gender them using

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feminine or masculine pronouns.

0:03:23.886,0:03:26.246
Personally, I use pronouns referred to

0:03:26.246,0:03:28.546
as "feminine" when speaking and neutral

0:03:28.546,0:03:31.795
in writing. But, in general, I have the

0:03:31.795,0:03:33.829
tendency to say right away that I prefer

0:03:33.829,0:03:36.637
to use feminine pronouns for speaking.

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After, if a person doesn't do that

0:03:38.297,0:03:40.897
for themselves, and you want to be sure

0:03:40.897,0:03:42.697
you are correctly gendering them,

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you can ask them for their pronouns

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or wait until the person refers to

0:03:46.668,0:03:48.598
themselves to follow their suit.

0:03:48.598,0:03:50.618
In the videos that I've done previously

0:03:50.618,0:03:52.783
There was a lot of comments

0:03:52.783,0:03:55.313
which invalidated our identities

0:03:55.313,0:03:58.926
and denied our gender expressions

0:03:58.926,0:04:02.944
and identity. I personally don't read many

0:04:02.944,0:04:05.358
of those comments since I know they are

0:04:05.358,0:04:08.558
mostly malicious or ill-intentioned

0:04:08.558,0:04:10.468
and just want to cause pain.

0:04:10.468,0:04:12.622
I already participated in a reporting

0:04:12.622,0:04:14.727
where we could hear that it's just

0:04:14.727,0:04:17.347
a trend which came up a few years ago

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in the US, around 10 years ago.

0:04:19.341,0:04:22.730
that it had a connection to fashion also,

0:04:22.730,0:04:24.510
and unisex fashion, etc.

0:04:24.510,0:04:26.363
That is completely false, I think that

0:04:26.363,0:04:30.363
it's also a very white perspective

0:04:30.363,0:04:32.665
and very Eurocentric.

0:04:32.665,0:04:35.565
because in many cultures, we will find

0:04:35.565,0:04:38.415
many gender identities that were totally

0:04:38.415,0:04:40.545
erased during colonization.

0:04:40.545,0:04:44.395
Oftentimes, we hear that it's problematic

0:04:44.395,0:04:47.615
or it's annoying to recreate more and more

0:04:47.615,0:04:50.555
ways to identify ourselves, but I think

0:04:50.555,0:04:53.355
it is very important to be able to,

0:04:53.355,0:04:55.670
mainly identify as something so

0:04:55.670,0:04:57.657
to unidentify from an identity that

0:04:57.657,0:04:59.265
was assigned to us arbitrarily.

0:04:59.265,0:05:01.409
I think it's also necessary to find

0:05:01.409,0:05:03.585
a community to create connections, to know

0:05:03.585,0:05:05.800
you're not alone, where there is support,

0:05:05.800,0:05:08.210
and there are others who are like us

0:05:08.210,0:05:09.479
who know and listen to us.

0:05:09.479,0:05:11.459
If I had one single thing to say, I think

0:05:11.459,0:05:13.100
it would be that even if you don't

0:05:13.100,0:05:15.200
understand, you can always support

0:05:15.200,0:05:17.610
and assist us. You can learn, you can

0:05:17.610,0:05:19.332
deconstruct your ways of thinking.

0:05:19.332,0:05:22.440
You can educate yourself, you can help

0:05:22.440,0:05:23.866
your close friends, even if you don't

0:05:23.866,0:05:27.866
understand their whole gender identity.

0:05:27.866,0:05:30.956
Another thing, all non-binary people have

0:05:30.956,0:05:33.906
different ways of expressing their

0:05:33.906,0:05:36.646
identity, there are some who want to do

0:05:36.646,0:05:38.466
medical transitions, take hormones,

0:05:38.466,0:05:40.296
who will do surgery operations, while

0:05:40.296,0:05:44.021
others won't, but no matter the way you

0:05:44.021,0:05:46.350
transition or not, socially or medically,

0:05:46.350,0:05:48.850
our identity remains legitimate,

0:05:48.850,0:05:52.850
it exists, and there are many of us.