WEBVTT 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Even if you don't understand 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 you can always support and assist us. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Our identities remain legitimate 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and it exists. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 My name is Cami, I'm 22 years old, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I'm nin-binary 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and I'm here to talk about my identity 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 'Non-binary' is an umbrella term 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 that includes all the identities that are 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 neither exclusively masculine nor feminine 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 That could be agender, with "a" meaning 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 a subtraction without gender. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Which is neutral. Or it can be all 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 the fluid identities, as we imagine gender 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 as a spectrum with two poles, masculine 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and feminine. And there is a cursor 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 which moves. So people who are 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 genderfluid, demigender, pangender, etc. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I never really identified with femininity. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 At 18, I started to ask myself questions 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 on my gender identity and I met 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 a trans man, who I was with for awhile 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and we finally put together some words 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 for my identity, so 'non-binary'. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I think it's because he had more info 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 than me. He helped me find the words for 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 my identity. Gender identity is what 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 we are. It's the gender we feel, our 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 lives, and what we experiment with. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and gender expression is what we present 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 to others. It's the way we express 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 that identity. You could have a gender 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 identity, for example, that's masculine 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 so a man, and you can have a gender 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 expression that is feminine, with markers 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 considered as feminine in society. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Like for example, Bilal Hassani, he is 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 a man with a feminine gender expression. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I told my parents that I was non binary 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and that I wanted to change my name also. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I was 20, so two years ago 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and my mom took it quite well. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 She was already up to date with questions 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 about gender. She deconstructed them 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and it was safe, I felt secure. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 For my dad, it was a little bit delicate. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I took more time to talk to him 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and I didn't do it in person. I actually 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 sent him a message, as it was easier 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 for me to manage. And he took it well. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 He said he didn't understand it all, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 but he would support me regardless 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and that it wouldn't change anything 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 for him, he loved me the same. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 For my grandma, it was less clear, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 it's something unfamiliar for her. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 She grew up in the countryside. Then 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 she came to Paris. She lived with 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 my grandpas for 50 years. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 She lived in very cis heteronormative 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 contexts, where she never asked questions 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 on her identity or of others. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 So when I talked to her about it, she 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 was caught off guard, but she always 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 tried her best to behave in the best way 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 she can with me. She's make a lot 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 of effort, she doesn't make anymore 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 mistakes with saying my name now. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I made an application to chance my name 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 in 2019, I submitted the application to 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 the city where I was living in. I obtained 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 a file that I filled with witnesses from 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 my close friends, to show that they use 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 the name Cami to refer to me. I asked 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 my school to write a letter of support. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Then, I submitted my file and waited a 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 few months. The time span varies according 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 to cities. And then I got my name change 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 accepted. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 The fact of wrongly gendering someone 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 is to address that person while using 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 the wrong pronouns. So using gendered 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 pronouns for a non-binary person who had 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 explicitly said to use neutral pronouns 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 like "them" and to gender them using 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 feminine or masculine pronouns. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Personally, I use pronouns referred to 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 as "feminine" when speaking and neutral 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 in writing. But, in general, I have the 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 tendency to say right away that I prefer 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 to use feminine pronouns for speaking. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 After, if a person doesn't do that 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 for themselves, and you want to be sure 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 you are correctly gendering them, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 you can ask them for their pronouns 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 or wait until the person refers to 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 themselves to follow their suit. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 In the videos that I've done previously 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 There was a lot of comments 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 which invalidated our identities 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and denied our gender expressions 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and identity. I personally don't read many 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 of those comment since I know they are 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 mostly malicious or ill-intentioned 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and just want to cause pain. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I already participated in a report 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 where we could hear that it's just 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 a trend which came up a few years ago 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 in the US, around 10 years ago. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 that it had a connection to fashion also, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and unisex fashion, etc. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 That is completely false, I think that 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 it's also a very white perspective 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and very Eurocentric. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 because in many cultures, we will find 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 many gender identities that were totally 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 erased during colonization. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Oftentimes, we hear that it's problematic 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 or it's annoying to recreate more and more 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 ways to identify ourselves, but I think 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 it is very important to be able to, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 mainly identify as something so 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 to unidentify from an identity that 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 was assigned to us arbitrarily. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I think it's also necessary to find 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 a community to create connections, to know 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 you're not alone, where there is support, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and where there are others who are like us 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 who know and listen to us. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 If I had one single thing to say, I think 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 it would be that even if you don't 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 understand, you can always support 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and assist us. You can learn, you can 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 deconstruct your ways of thinking. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 You can educate yourself, you can help 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 your close friends, even if you don't 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 understand their whole gender identity. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Another thing, all non-binary people have 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 different ways of expressing their 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 identity, there are some who want to do 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 medicals transitions, take hormones, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 who will do surgery operations, while 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 others won't, but no matter the way you 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 transition or not socially or medically, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 our identities remain legitimate, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 they exist, and there are many of us.