1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,370 Even if you don't understand 2 00:00:01,370 --> 00:00:03,560 you can always support and assist us. 3 00:00:03,560 --> 00:00:05,198 Our identity remain legitimate 4 00:00:05,198 --> 00:00:06,488 and it exists. 5 00:00:09,183 --> 00:00:10,847 My name is Cami, I'm 22 years old, 6 00:00:10,847 --> 00:00:11,567 I'm non-binary 7 00:00:11,567 --> 00:00:13,417 and I'm here to talk about my identity 8 00:00:13,417 --> 00:00:15,147 'Non-binary' is an umbrella term 9 00:00:15,147 --> 00:00:17,649 that includes all the identities that are 10 00:00:17,649 --> 00:00:20,467 neither exclusively masculine nor feminine 11 00:00:20,467 --> 00:00:22,817 That could be agender, with "a" meaning 12 00:00:22,817 --> 00:00:24,357 a subtraction without gender. 13 00:00:24,357 --> 00:00:26,517 Which is neutral. Or it can be all 14 00:00:26,517 --> 00:00:29,588 the fluid identities, as we imagine gender 15 00:00:29,588 --> 00:00:31,518 as a spectrum with two poles, masculine 16 00:00:31,518 --> 00:00:33,498 and feminine. And there is a cursor 17 00:00:33,498 --> 00:00:35,116 which moves. So all people who are 18 00:00:35,116 --> 00:00:39,116 genderfluid, demigender, pangender, etc. 19 00:00:39,245 --> 00:00:41,905 I never really identified with femininity. 20 00:00:41,905 --> 00:00:45,945 At 18, I started to ask myself questions 21 00:00:45,945 --> 00:00:48,881 on my gender identity and I met 22 00:00:48,881 --> 00:00:51,609 a trans man, who I was with for awhile 23 00:00:51,609 --> 00:00:54,156 and we finally put together some words 24 00:00:54,156 --> 00:00:56,590 for my identity, so 'non-binary'. 25 00:00:56,590 --> 00:00:58,813 I think it's because he had more info 26 00:00:58,813 --> 00:01:02,303 than me. He helped me find the words for 27 00:01:02,303 --> 00:01:05,023 my identity. Gender identity is what 28 00:01:05,023 --> 00:01:07,698 we are. It's the gender we feel, our 29 00:01:07,698 --> 00:01:09,678 lives, and what we experiment with. 30 00:01:09,678 --> 00:01:12,708 and gender expression is what we present 31 00:01:12,708 --> 00:01:15,083 to others. It's the way we express 32 00:01:15,083 --> 00:01:17,813 that identity. You could have a gender 33 00:01:17,813 --> 00:01:19,943 identity, for example, that's masculine 34 00:01:19,943 --> 00:01:22,483 so a man, and you can have a gender 35 00:01:22,483 --> 00:01:24,696 expression that is feminine, with markers 36 00:01:24,696 --> 00:01:26,536 considered as feminine in society. 37 00:01:26,536 --> 00:01:28,059 Like for example, Bilal Hassani, he is 38 00:01:28,059 --> 00:01:30,955 a man with a feminine gender expression. 39 00:01:31,433 --> 00:01:34,983 I told my parents that I was non binary 40 00:01:34,983 --> 00:01:37,948 and that I wanted to change my name also. 41 00:01:37,948 --> 00:01:40,534 I was 20, so two years ago 42 00:01:40,534 --> 00:01:43,474 and my mom took it quite well. 43 00:01:43,474 --> 00:01:46,404 She was already up to date with questions 44 00:01:46,404 --> 00:01:48,840 about gender. She deconstructed them 45 00:01:48,840 --> 00:01:51,380 and it was safe, I felt secure. 46 00:01:51,380 --> 00:01:53,610 For my dad, it was a little bit delicate. 47 00:01:53,610 --> 00:01:55,690 I took more time to talk to him 48 00:01:55,690 --> 00:01:58,313 and I didn't do it in person. I actually 49 00:01:58,313 --> 00:02:00,103 sent him a message, as it was easier 50 00:02:00,103 --> 00:02:03,283 for me to manage. And he took it well. 51 00:02:03,283 --> 00:02:05,098 He said he didn't understand it all, 52 00:02:05,098 --> 00:02:06,918 but he would support me regardless 53 00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:08,686 and that it wouldn't change anything 54 00:02:08,686 --> 00:02:09,696 he loved me the same. 55 00:02:09,696 --> 00:02:11,334 For my grandma, it was less clear, 56 00:02:11,334 --> 00:02:14,564 it's something unfamiliar for her. 57 00:02:14,564 --> 00:02:16,394 She grew up in the countryside. Then 58 00:02:16,394 --> 00:02:18,054 she came to Paris. She lived with 59 00:02:18,054 --> 00:02:20,062 my grandpa for 50 years. 60 00:02:20,062 --> 00:02:22,341 She lived in very cis heteronormative 61 00:02:22,341 --> 00:02:24,326 contexts, where she never asked questions 62 00:02:24,326 --> 00:02:26,136 on her identity or of others. 63 00:02:26,136 --> 00:02:27,958 So when I talked to her about it, she 64 00:02:27,958 --> 00:02:30,888 was caught off guard, but she always 65 00:02:30,888 --> 00:02:33,801 tried her best to behave in the best way 66 00:02:33,801 --> 00:02:35,771 she can with me. She's make a lot 67 00:02:35,771 --> 00:02:37,561 of effort, she doesn't make anymore 68 00:02:37,561 --> 00:02:39,241 mistakes with saying my name now. 69 00:02:39,241 --> 00:02:41,182 I made an application to chance my name 70 00:02:41,182 --> 00:02:45,182 in 2019, I submitted the application to 71 00:02:45,182 --> 00:02:49,182 the city where I was living in. I obtained 72 00:02:49,182 --> 00:02:51,972 a file that I filled with witnesses from 73 00:02:51,972 --> 00:02:53,891 my close friends, to show that they use 74 00:02:53,891 --> 00:02:57,251 the name Cami to refer to me. I asked 75 00:02:57,251 --> 00:02:59,931 my school to write a letter of support. 76 00:02:59,931 --> 00:03:02,556 Then, I submitted my file and waited a 77 00:03:02,556 --> 00:03:04,856 few months. The time span varies according 78 00:03:04,856 --> 00:03:07,136 to cities. And then I got my name change 79 00:03:07,136 --> 00:03:08,126 accepted. 80 00:03:08,126 --> 00:03:09,986 The fact of wrongly gendering someone 81 00:03:09,986 --> 00:03:13,946 is to address that person while using 82 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 the wrong pronouns. So using gendered 83 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 pronouns for a non-binary person who had 84 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 explicitly said to use neutral pronouns 85 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 like "them" and to gender them using 86 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 feminine or masculine pronouns. 87 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Personally, I use pronouns referred to 88 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 as "feminine" when speaking and neutral 89 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 in writing. But, in general, I have the 90 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 tendency to say right away that I prefer 91 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 to use feminine pronouns for speaking. 92 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 After, if a person doesn't do that 93 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 for themselves, and you want to be sure 94 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 you are correctly gendering them, 95 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 you can ask them for their pronouns 96 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 or wait until the person refers to 97 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 themselves to follow their suit. 98 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 In the videos that I've done previously 99 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 There was a lot of comments 100 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 which invalidated our identities 101 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and denied our gender expressions 102 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and identity. I personally don't read many 103 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 of those comment since I know they are 104 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 mostly malicious or ill-intentioned 105 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and just want to cause pain. 106 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I already participated in a report 107 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 where we could hear that it's just 108 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 a trend which came up a few years ago 109 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 in the US, around 10 years ago. 110 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 that it had a connection to fashion also, 111 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and unisex fashion, etc. 112 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 That is completely false, I think that 113 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 it's also a very white perspective 114 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and very Eurocentric. 115 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 because in many cultures, we will find 116 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 many gender identities that were totally 117 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 erased during colonization. 118 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Oftentimes, we hear that it's problematic 119 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 or it's annoying to recreate more and more 120 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 ways to identify ourselves, but I think 121 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 it is very important to be able to, 122 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 mainly identify as something so 123 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 to unidentify from an identity that 124 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 was assigned to us arbitrarily. 125 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I think it's also necessary to find 126 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 a community to create connections, to know 127 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 you're not alone, where there is support, 128 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and where there are others who are like us 129 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 who know and listen to us. 130 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 If I had one single thing to say, I think 131 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 it would be that even if you don't 132 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 understand, you can always support 133 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and assist us. You can learn, you can 134 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 deconstruct your ways of thinking. 135 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 You can educate yourself, you can help 136 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 your close friends, even if you don't 137 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 understand their whole gender identity. 138 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Another thing, all non-binary people have 139 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 different ways of expressing their 140 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 identity, there are some who want to do 141 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 medicals transitions, take hormones, 142 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 who will do surgery operations, while 143 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 others won't, but no matter the way you 144 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 transition or not socially or medically, 145 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 our identities remain legitimate, 146 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 they exist, and there are many of us.