WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.370 Even if you don't understand 00:00:01.370 --> 00:00:03.560 you can always support and assist us. 00:00:03.560 --> 00:00:05.198 Our identity remain legitimate 00:00:05.198 --> 00:00:06.488 and it exists. 00:00:09.183 --> 00:00:10.847 My name is Cami, I'm 22 years old, 00:00:10.847 --> 00:00:11.567 I'm non-binary 00:00:11.567 --> 00:00:13.417 and I'm here to talk about my identity 00:00:13.417 --> 00:00:15.147 'Non-binary' is an umbrella term 00:00:15.147 --> 00:00:17.649 that includes all the identities that are 00:00:17.649 --> 00:00:20.467 neither exclusively masculine nor feminine 00:00:20.467 --> 00:00:22.817 That could be agender, with "a" meaning 00:00:22.817 --> 00:00:24.357 a subtraction without gender. 00:00:24.357 --> 00:00:26.517 Which is neutral. Or it can be all 00:00:26.517 --> 00:00:29.588 the fluid identities, as we imagine gender 00:00:29.588 --> 00:00:31.518 as a spectrum with two poles, masculine 00:00:31.518 --> 00:00:33.498 and feminine. And there is a cursor 00:00:33.498 --> 00:00:35.116 which moves. So all people who are 00:00:35.116 --> 00:00:39.116 genderfluid, demigender, pangender, etc. 00:00:39.245 --> 00:00:41.905 I never really identified with femininity. 00:00:41.905 --> 00:00:45.945 At 18, I started to ask myself questions 00:00:45.945 --> 00:00:48.881 on my gender identity and I met 00:00:48.881 --> 00:00:51.609 a trans man, who I was with for awhile 00:00:51.609 --> 00:00:54.156 and we finally put together some words 00:00:54.156 --> 00:00:56.590 for my identity, so 'non-binary'. 00:00:56.590 --> 00:00:58.813 I think it's because he had more info 00:00:58.813 --> 00:01:02.303 than me. He helped me find the words for 00:01:02.303 --> 00:01:05.023 my identity. Gender identity is what 00:01:05.023 --> 00:01:07.698 we are. It's the gender we feel, our 00:01:07.698 --> 00:01:09.678 lives, and what we experiment with. 00:01:09.678 --> 00:01:12.708 and gender expression is what we present 00:01:12.708 --> 00:01:15.083 to others. It's the way we express 00:01:15.083 --> 00:01:17.813 that identity. You could have a gender 00:01:17.813 --> 00:01:19.943 identity, for example, that's masculine 00:01:19.943 --> 00:01:22.483 so a man, and you can have a gender 00:01:22.483 --> 00:01:24.696 expression that is feminine, with markers 00:01:24.696 --> 00:01:26.536 considered as feminine in society. 00:01:26.536 --> 00:01:28.059 Like for example, Bilal Hassani, he is 00:01:28.059 --> 00:01:30.955 a man with a feminine gender expression. 00:01:31.433 --> 00:01:34.983 I told my parents that I was non binary 00:01:34.983 --> 00:01:37.948 and that I wanted to change my name also. 00:01:37.948 --> 00:01:40.534 I was 20, so two years ago 00:01:40.534 --> 00:01:43.474 and my mom took it quite well. 00:01:43.474 --> 00:01:46.404 She was already up to date with questions 00:01:46.404 --> 00:01:48.840 about gender. She deconstructed them 00:01:48.840 --> 00:01:51.380 and it was safe, I felt secure. 00:01:51.380 --> 00:01:53.610 For my dad, it was a little bit delicate. 00:01:53.610 --> 00:01:55.690 I took more time to talk to him 00:01:55.690 --> 00:01:58.313 and I didn't do it in person. I actually 00:01:58.313 --> 00:02:00.103 sent him a message, as it was easier 00:02:00.103 --> 00:02:03.283 for me to manage. And he took it well. 00:02:03.283 --> 00:02:05.098 He said he didn't understand it all, 00:02:05.098 --> 00:02:06.918 but he would support me regardless 00:02:06.918 --> 00:02:08.686 and that it wouldn't change anything 00:02:08.686 --> 00:02:09.696 he loved me the same. 00:02:09.696 --> 00:02:11.334 For my grandma, it was less clear, 00:02:11.334 --> 00:02:14.564 it's something unfamiliar for her. 00:02:14.564 --> 00:02:16.394 She grew up in the countryside. Then 00:02:16.394 --> 00:02:18.054 she came to Paris. She lived with 00:02:18.054 --> 00:02:20.062 my grandpa for 50 years. 00:02:20.062 --> 00:02:22.341 She lived in very cis heteronormative 00:02:22.341 --> 00:02:24.326 contexts, where she never asked questions 00:02:24.326 --> 00:02:26.136 on her identity or of others. 00:02:26.136 --> 00:02:27.958 So when I talked to her about it, she 00:02:27.958 --> 00:02:30.888 was caught off guard, but she always 00:02:30.888 --> 00:02:33.801 tried her best to behave in the best way 00:02:33.801 --> 00:02:35.771 she can with me. She's make a lot 00:02:35.771 --> 00:02:37.561 of effort, she doesn't make anymore 00:02:37.561 --> 00:02:39.241 mistakes with saying my name now. 00:02:39.241 --> 00:02:41.182 I made an application to chance my name 00:02:41.182 --> 00:02:45.182 in 2019, I submitted the application to 00:02:45.182 --> 00:02:49.182 the city where I was living in. I obtained 00:02:49.182 --> 00:02:51.972 a file that I filled with witnesses from 00:02:51.972 --> 00:02:53.891 my close friends, to show that they use 00:02:53.891 --> 00:02:57.251 the name Cami to refer to me. I asked 00:02:57.251 --> 00:02:59.931 my school to write a letter of support. 00:02:59.931 --> 00:03:02.556 Then, I submitted my file and waited a 00:03:02.556 --> 00:03:04.856 few months. The time span varies according 00:03:04.856 --> 00:03:07.136 to cities. And then I got my name change 00:03:07.136 --> 00:03:08.126 accepted. 00:03:08.126 --> 00:03:09.986 The fact of wrongly gendering someone 00:03:09.986 --> 00:03:12.176 is to address that person while using 00:03:12.176 --> 00:03:14.596 the wrong pronouns. So using gendered 00:03:14.596 --> 00:03:16.561 pronouns for a non-binary person who had 00:03:16.561 --> 00:03:19.231 explicitly said to use neutral pronouns 00:03:19.231 --> 00:03:21.687 like "them" and to gender them using 00:03:21.687 --> 00:03:23.886 feminine or masculine pronouns. 00:03:23.886 --> 00:03:26.246 Personally, I use pronouns referred to 00:03:26.246 --> 00:03:28.546 as "feminine" when speaking and neutral 00:03:28.546 --> 00:03:31.795 in writing. But, in general, I have the 00:03:31.795 --> 00:03:33.829 tendency to say right away that I prefer 00:03:33.829 --> 00:03:36.637 to use feminine pronouns for speaking. 00:03:36.637 --> 00:03:38.297 After, if a person doesn't do that 00:03:38.297 --> 00:03:40.897 for themselves, and you want to be sure 00:03:40.897 --> 00:03:42.697 you are correctly gendering them, 00:03:42.697 --> 00:03:44.584 you can ask them for their pronouns 00:03:44.584 --> 00:03:46.668 or wait until the person refers to 00:03:46.668 --> 00:03:48.598 themselves to follow their suit. 00:03:48.598 --> 00:03:50.618 In the videos that I've done previously 00:03:50.618 --> 00:03:52.783 There was a lot of comments 00:03:52.783 --> 00:03:55.313 which invalidated our identities 00:03:55.313 --> 00:03:58.926 and denied our gender expressions 00:03:58.926 --> 00:04:02.944 and identity. I personally don't read many 00:04:02.944 --> 00:04:05.358 of those comments since I know they are 00:04:05.358 --> 00:04:08.558 mostly malicious or ill-intentioned 00:04:08.558 --> 00:04:10.468 and just want to cause pain. 00:04:10.468 --> 00:04:12.622 I already participated in a report 00:04:12.622 --> 00:04:14.727 where we could hear that it's just 00:04:14.727 --> 00:04:17.347 a trend which came up a few years ago 00:04:17.347 --> 00:04:21.347 in the US, around 10 years ago. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 that it had a connection to fashion also, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and unisex fashion, etc. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 That is completely false, I think that 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 it's also a very white perspective 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and very Eurocentric. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 because in many cultures, we will find 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 many gender identities that were totally 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 erased during colonization. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Oftentimes, we hear that it's problematic 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 or it's annoying to recreate more and more 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 ways to identify ourselves, but I think 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 it is very important to be able to, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 mainly identify as something so 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 to unidentify from an identity that 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 was assigned to us arbitrarily. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 I think it's also necessary to find 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 a community to create connections, to know 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 you're not alone, where there is support, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and where there are others who are like us 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 who know and listen to us. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 If I had one single thing to say, I think 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 it would be that even if you don't 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 understand, you can always support 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 and assist us. You can learn, you can 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 deconstruct your ways of thinking. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 You can educate yourself, you can help 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 your close friends, even if you don't 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 understand their whole gender identity. 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 Another thing, all non-binary people have 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 different ways of expressing their 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 identity, there are some who want to do 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 medicals transitions, take hormones, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 who will do surgery operations, while 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 others won't, but no matter the way you 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 transition or not socially or medically, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 our identities remain legitimate, 99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999 they exist, and there are many of us.