0:00:00.000,0:00:01.460
Even if you don't understand

0:00:01.460,0:00:03.779
You can still support and affirm us

0:00:03.779,0:00:06.550
our identity is legitimate and it exists.

0:00:06.550,0:00:09.120
First Person Stories:[br]Being Nonbinary

0:00:09.120,0:00:11.026
My name is Cami. I'm 22[br]and nonbinary

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and I 'm gonna tell you [br]about being nonbinary.

0:00:13.266,0:00:15.421
The term "nonbinary" [br]is an umbrella term

0:00:15.421,0:00:17.079
for all gender identities

0:00:17.079,0:00:20.669
that are neither masculine or feminine.

0:00:20.669,0:00:22.700
This includes being A-gender:

0:00:22.700,0:00:25.206
being genderless, or neutral

0:00:25.206,0:00:27.786
Or it can be all fluid genders.

0:00:27.786,0:00:31.166
Like if you imagine gender as a spectrum[br]with two sides:

0:00:31.166,0:00:32.439
masculine and feminine

0:00:32.439,0:00:34.269
and there is cursor that moves

0:00:34.269,0:00:36.435
for all gender fluid people like

0:00:36.435,0:00:37.435
demigender,

0:00:37.435,0:00:39.265
poly gender people, etc.

0:00:39.412,0:00:42.592
I never really associated with femininity

0:00:42.592,0:00:43.873
at 18

0:00:43.873,0:00:47.733
I was already starting to question[br]my gender identity

0:00:47.733,0:00:51.733
and I had already been seeing [br]a trans guy for some time

0:00:51.733,0:00:55.043
And together we were able to [br]put words to my identity:

0:00:55.043,0:00:56.376
nonbinary.

0:00:56.376,0:00:59.423
And I think this is because[br]he had lots more information than me

0:00:59.423,0:01:01.883
so he knew how to help me find the words

0:01:01.883,0:01:03.490
to describe my identity.

0:01:03.490,0:01:05.500
Gender identity is what you are

0:01:05.500,0:01:07.343
Its the gender you feel,

0:01:07.343,0:01:09.250
you live, you experiment with

0:01:09.250,0:01:11.720
and gender expression [br]is what you will...

0:01:11.720,0:01:13.430
present to others.

0:01:13.430,0:01:16.140
It's the way you will [br]express this identity

0:01:16.140,0:01:19.230
your gender identity could be

0:01:19.230,0:01:21.590
masculine, for example,[br]so you are a man

0:01:21.590,0:01:23.830
and your gender expression [br]will be feminine

0:01:23.830,0:01:26.361
with lots of societally feminine features.

0:01:26.361,0:01:30.761
like Basanni,: a guy [br]with a feminine gender expression.

0:01:31.261,0:01:34.761
I told my parents that I was[br]nonbinary

0:01:34.761,0:01:37.461
and that I wanted to change names[br]at the same time

0:01:37.461,0:01:39.021
I was

0:01:39.021,0:01:40.701
20 [br]so it was 2 years ago

0:01:40.701,0:01:43.446
And my mom took it very well.

0:01:43.446,0:01:45.876
She was already familiar

0:01:45.876,0:01:48.426
with this deconstructed view of gender

0:01:48.426,0:01:50.706
so she was very safe [br]and I felt safe.

0:01:51.164,0:01:53.401
With my dad,[br]it was a little more sensitive

0:01:53.401,0:01:55.173
It took me a little longer[br]to tell him

0:01:55.173,0:01:58.033
And I didn't do it in real life.

0:01:58.033,0:02:00.683
I sent him a message [br]because it was easier to control

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and

0:02:01.967,0:02:03.563
he reacted pretty well

0:02:03.563,0:02:05.533
He said [br]while he didn't understand it all

0:02:05.533,0:02:08.623
He was still there for me[br]and this didn't change a thing

0:02:08.623,0:02:09.593
he loved me the same

0:02:09.593,0:02:12.143
With my grandma [br]it was less straightforward

0:02:12.143,0:02:14.813
because this is very unfamiliar to her:

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she grew up in the countryside,[br]then she moved to Paris

0:02:17.523,0:02:20.810
she lived with my grandfather[br]for 50 years.

0:02:20.810,0:02:23.041
She lived under [br]the cis-heteronormative schema

0:02:23.041,0:02:26.310
where she had never questioned[br]her or other's identities

0:02:26.310,0:02:28.931
so when I told her[br]she was a bit taken back.

0:02:29.371,0:02:34.931
But she still tried to [br]treat me right

0:02:34.931,0:02:36.571
and she put lots of effort in

0:02:36.571,0:02:39.810
she almost never uses my past name [br]anymore.

0:02:39.810,0:02:43.810
I applied for a name change in 2019

0:02:43.521,0:02:44.961
I applied

0:02:44.961,0:02:48.151
to my local city hall

0:02:48.151,0:02:52.691
I submitted a document [br]with close friends as witness

0:02:52.691,0:02:56.391
stating that they addressed me [br]by the name "Camille"

0:02:56.391,0:03:00.527
I asked my school to write me[br]a letter of support and so on.

0:03:00.527,0:03:03.717
After submitting my request [br]I waited a few months,

0:03:03.717,0:03:05.628
the wait time varies[br]between city halls

0:03:05.628,0:03:07.676
and my name change was accepted.

0:03:07.676,0:03:13.246
To misgender someone [br]means to use the wrong pronoun on someone

0:03:13.246,0:03:15.259
so a nonbinary person

0:03:15.259,0:03:20.316
who would like to use neutral pronouns [br]like they/them

0:03:20.316,0:03:24.316
and instead gender them as masculine[br]or feminine

0:03:24.316,0:03:27.700
Personally I use feminine pronouns [br]when speaking

0:03:27.700,0:03:29.660
and neutral in written form

0:03:29.660,0:03:32.830
In general I like to say it straight away:

0:03:32.830,0:03:36.508
I prefer to be addressed [br]with feminine pronouns when speaking

0:03:36.508,0:03:38.578
But if the person doesn't do it[br]on their own

0:03:38.578,0:03:42.858
and you want to ensure [br]you're addressing them correctly

0:03:42.858,0:03:44.788
you can ask for their pronouns

0:03:44.788,0:03:48.537
or wait until they gender themselves[br]and follow their gendering

0:03:48.537,0:03:53.317
In previous videos I've done[br]there were lots of comments

0:03:53.317,0:03:55.440
invalidating our identities

0:03:55.440,0:04:00.330
denying our gender expressions[br]and gender identities

0:04:02.212,0:04:06.212
I don't read these comments much [br]since I know most of them are malicious

0:04:06.212,0:04:10.212
or very odd and will just hurt my feelings

0:04:10.212,0:04:14.222
I once saw a report[br]where it basically said

0:04:14.222,0:04:15.852
being non-binary was just a trend

0:04:15.852,0:04:20.200
that it only appeared a few years ago[br]in the states 10 years ago

0:04:20.200,0:04:24.525
and it had something to do[br]with unisex fashion and so on.

0:04:24.525,0:04:27.285
This is not only completely false

0:04:27.285,0:04:32.965
but also very white and Eurocentric[br]point of view

0:04:32.965,0:04:36.804
since in many cultures we find [br]several gender identities

0:04:36.804,0:04:41.157
that were completely erased[br]during colonization.

0:04:41.157,0:04:46.317
Again and again its said that[br]its problematic

0:04:46.317,0:04:50.970
to create more boxes to identify with [br]and re-identify and so on

0:04:50.970,0:04:52.987
but I think its actually crucial

0:04:52.987,0:04:56.487
to be able to identify with something[br]in order to disidentify ourselves

0:04:56.487,0:04:59.262
from an identity[br]that has been arbitrarily assigned to us.

0:04:59.262,0:05:02.592
I think its so important[br]to find a community

0:05:02.592,0:05:04.552
to create bonds[br]so that you are not alone,

0:05:04.552,0:05:07.932
so that you have support[br]from people like us

0:05:07.932,0:05:10.202
who understand us, [br]who listen to us.

0:05:10.202,0:05:12.492
If I could only tell you one thing[br]it'd be that:

0:05:12.492,0:05:14.192
even if you don't understand

0:05:14.192,0:05:15.922
you can still support and affirm us

0:05:15.922,0:05:19.552
you can learn[br]you can deconstruct the schemas

0:05:19.552,0:05:23.192
you can stay informed[br]you can help those close to you

0:05:23.192,0:05:28.059
even if you don't fully understand[br]what their gender identity means.

0:05:28.059,0:05:29.662
Another thing is that

0:05:29.662,0:05:32.432
all nonbinary people

0:05:32.432,0:05:34.862
have a different way[br]to express their identity.

0:05:34.862,0:05:37.522
Some people will undergo [br]medical transitions

0:05:37.522,0:05:41.092
some people will take hormones [br]some people will get surgery, others won't

0:05:41.092,0:05:43.172
but that doesn't matter.

0:05:43.172,0:05:46.829
No matter how they transition or not, [br]socially, medically or whatever

0:05:46.829,0:05:50.249
our identity remains legitimate [br]and it exists

0:05:50.249,0:05:54.249
and there are lots and lots of us