0:00:00.000,0:00:01.562 Even if you do not understand, 0:00:01.562,0:00:03.609 you can still support and accompany us. 0:00:03.609,0:00:05.310 Our identity remains legitimate 0:00:05.310,0:00:06.320 and it exists. 0:00:06.320,0:00:09.090 Testimonies [br]Non-binarity 0:00:09.090,0:00:09.927 Cami [br]22 years old, student 0:00:09.927,0:00:11.202 My name is Cami, [br]I am 22 years old and non-binary, 0:00:11.202,0:00:13.062 and I am here [br]to talk to you about non-binarity. 0:00:13.062,0:00:14.972 Non-binarity is an umbrella term 0:00:14.972,0:00:16.998 that covers all gender identities 0:00:16.998,0:00:19.386 that are neither exclusively masculine 0:00:19.386,0:00:20.708 or feminine. 0:00:20.708,0:00:23.214 It could mean agender, [br]so “a,” subtraction, 0:00:23.214,0:00:25.044 genderless, which is neutral, 0:00:25.044,0:00:27.362 or it can mean all fluid identities, 0:00:27.362,0:00:30.866 like if we pictured gender [br]as a spectrum with two extremes: 0:00:30.866,0:00:32.194 masculine and feminine. 0:00:32.194,0:00:34.344 We can also imagine a pointer [br]that scans the spectrum. 0:00:34.344,0:00:36.388 It includes everyone who is gender fluid, 0:00:36.388,0:00:39.385 demigender, pangender, etc. 0:00:39.385,0:00:42.475 I have never really identified [br]with femininity. 0:00:42.475,0:00:44.999 At 18, I was already 0:00:44.999,0:00:47.939 starting to question my gender identity, 0:00:47.939,0:00:49.635 and I met a trans man, 0:00:49.635,0:00:51.965 with whom I was with for a while, 0:00:51.965,0:00:54.740 and together we were able to put [br]my identity into words, 0:00:54.740,0:00:56.630 which was non-binary. 0:00:56.630,0:00:57.881 I think that he knew 0:00:57.881,0:00:59.131 how to help me find [br]the words for my identity 0:00:59.131,0:01:03.352 because he had [br]much more information than I did. 0:01:03.352,0:01:05.270 Gender identity is who we are. 0:01:05.270,0:01:07.512 It is the gender that we feel, 0:01:07.512,0:01:09.072 that we live, [br]that we experience. 0:01:09.072,0:01:10.262 And gender expression 0:01:10.262,0:01:13.306 is how we present ourselves [br]in front of others. 0:01:13.306,0:01:16.292 It is how we express this identity. 0:01:16.292,0:01:18.059 We can, for example, 0:01:18.059,0:01:19.815 have a masculine gender identity: 0:01:19.815,0:01:21.322 that is a man 0:01:21.322,0:01:22.622 with a feminine gender expression, 0:01:22.622,0:01:24.679 having a lot of traits 0:01:24.679,0:01:26.022 that are considered feminine [br]in society. 0:01:26.022,0:01:28.454 Like, for example, [br]Bilal Hassani, who is a man 0:01:28.454,0:01:31.005 with a feminine gender expression. 0:01:31.005,0:01:34.859 I announced to my parents [br]that I was non-binary 0:01:34.859,0:01:36.454 and that I wanted to change [br]my first name 0:01:36.454,0:01:37.894 at the same time. 0:01:37.894,0:01:41.601 I was 20 years old, [br]it was two years ago. 0:01:41.601,0:01:43.614 My mother took it very well. 0:01:43.614,0:01:46.814 She was already very well-versed [br]in the topic of gender. 0:01:46.814,0:01:49.274 She was pretty deinstitutionalized [br]and created a very safe space for me. 0:01:49.274,0:01:51.324 I felt safe. 0:01:51.324,0:01:53.344 With my father, [br]it was a bit more delicate. 0:01:53.344,0:01:55.264 It took me a little longer to tell him 0:01:55.264,0:01:56.604 and I did not do it 0:01:56.604,0:01:57.924 in person. 0:01:57.924,0:01:59.031 I sent him a message 0:01:59.031,0:02:01.992 because it was easier for me to handle. 0:02:01.992,0:02:03.367 He reacted well enough. 0:02:03.367,0:02:04.454 He said that [br]he did not understand everything, 0:02:04.454,0:02:06.574 but that, in any case, [br]he would be there to support me 0:02:06.574,0:02:07.954 and that it did not change anything [br]for him, 0:02:07.954,0:02:09.394 that he loved me just the same. 0:02:09.394,0:02:12.096 It was a less straightforward [br]for my grandmother 0:02:12.096,0:02:14.496 since it was something [br]that she was very far-removed from. 0:02:14.496,0:02:17.224 She grew up in the countryside, [br]then moved to Paris. 0:02:17.224,0:02:20.164 She lived with my grandfather [br]for 50 years. 0:02:20.164,0:02:22.634 She lived within [br]a very cis-heteronormative framework, 0:02:22.634,0:02:24.634 where she never questioned [br]her own identity 0:02:24.634,0:02:26.434 or that of others. 0:02:26.434,0:02:29.064 When I talked to her about it, [br]she was a bit stunned, 0:02:29.064,0:02:32.728 but she always made sure to [br]and made a point of 0:02:32.728,0:02:33.594 conducting herself 0:02:33.594,0:02:35.154 in the best possible way around me. 0:02:35.154,0:02:36.224 She put in a lot of effort, 0:02:36.224,0:02:37.284 she almost never makes mistakes 0:02:37.284,0:02:38.994 when using my chosen name anymore. 0:02:38.994,0:02:41.334 I applied for a change of name 0:02:41.334,0:02:43.884 in 2019. 0:02:43.884,0:02:45.514 I applied to 0:02:45.514,0:02:48.554 the town hall of the city where I lived. 0:02:48.554,0:02:50.654 I took out a form that I filled out 0:02:50.654,0:02:52.764 with testimonies from my loved ones, 0:02:52.764,0:02:54.765 saying they used the name Cami 0:02:54.765,0:02:56.734 to address me. 0:02:56.734,0:03:00.653 I asked my school to write me [br]a letter of support. 0:03:00.653,0:03:01.894 Then, I submitted my application. 0:03:01.894,0:03:03.984 I waited for a few months. 0:03:03.984,0:03:05.474 It varies depending on the town hall. 0:03:05.474,0:03:07.664 And I received approval [br]for the name change. 0:03:07.664,0:03:08.984 The act of misgendering someone 0:03:08.984,0:03:11.365 refers to addressing them 0:03:11.365,0:03:13.154 using the wrong pronouns, 0:03:13.154,0:03:15.154 so gendering a non-binary person 0:03:15.154,0:03:18.054 who has explicitly stated 0:03:18.054,0:03:20.534 they go by neutral pronouns, [br]such as “they” 0:03:20.534,0:03:24.024 as either feminine or masculine. 0:03:24.024,0:03:25.804 I, personally, use 0:03:25.804,0:03:29.544 feminine pronouns when speaking [br]and neutral ones in writing. 0:03:29.544,0:03:31.223 But it is true that in general, 0:03:31.223,0:03:32.814 I tend to say it straight away, 0:03:32.814,0:03:34.514 that I prefer to be addressed 0:03:34.514,0:03:36.764 with feminine pronouns when speaking. 0:03:36.764,0:03:38.614 Afterwards, if the person [br]does not do so on their own 0:03:38.614,0:03:42.794 and you prefer to be sure [br]you are gendering them correctly, 0:03:42.794,0:03:44.593 you can ask them [br]for their pronouns directly 0:03:44.593,0:03:47.004 or wait for the person [br]to state their gender in your presence 0:03:47.004,0:03:48.604 to follow their lead. 0:03:48.604,0:03:51.362 In videos I have previously made, 0:03:51.362,0:03:53.214 there were a lot of comments 0:03:53.214,0:03:55.654 that invalidate our identities, 0:03:55.654,0:04:00.613 that deny our gender expressions [br]and gender identities. 0:04:00.613,0:04:03.787 Following that, [br]I read very few of these comments, 0:04:03.787,0:04:05.394 precisely because [br]I know that for the most part, 0:04:05.394,0:04:08.604 they are either malicious [br]or extremely amateur, 0:04:08.604,0:04:10.044 and that they will just cause me distress. 0:04:10.044,0:04:14.324 I once participated in a report, [br]in which they said 0:04:14.324,0:04:15.634 that it was a fad, 0:04:15.634,0:04:18.004 that it had only appeared 0:04:18.004,0:04:19.624 in the United States, 10 years ago, 0:04:19.624,0:04:22.034 and that it had a lot to do with fashion, 0:04:22.034,0:04:24.554 unisex trends, or whatever. 0:04:24.554,0:04:26.928 That is completely false. [br]I think that it is also 0:04:26.928,0:04:32.961 a super white and [br]hyper-Eurocentric perspective 0:04:32.961,0:04:35.131 because in a lot of cultures, 0:04:35.131,0:04:37.464 there are several gender identities 0:04:37.464,0:04:39.374 that have just been completely erased 0:04:39.374,0:04:40.984 during colonisation. 0:04:40.984,0:04:44.664 Often enough, we hear [br]that it is problematic 0:04:44.664,0:04:47.924 or awkward to reinvent [br]more and more labels 0:04:47.924,0:04:49.983 to identify oneself, [br]then reidentify oneself, etc., 0:04:49.983,0:04:51.703 but I think that it is extremely important 0:04:51.703,0:04:55.054 to be able to first relate to something 0:04:55.054,0:04:57.443 to then disidentify from an identity 0:04:57.443,0:04:59.144 that was assigned to us arbitrarily. 0:04:59.144,0:05:00.683 I think it is necessary 0:05:00.683,0:05:02.314 to find oneself in a community as well 0:05:02.314,0:05:04.264 to create bonds and [br]to know that we are not alone, 0:05:04.264,0:05:05.424 that support is available, 0:05:05.424,0:05:07.779 that there are other people [br]who are like us, 0:05:07.779,0:05:09.084 who understand us, who listen to us. 0:05:09.084,0:05:11.194 The bottom line is 0:05:11.194,0:05:13.644 even if you do not understand, 0:05:13.644,0:05:16.164 you can still [br]support and accompany others. 0:05:16.164,0:05:18.357 You can learn, [br]you can debunk 0:05:18.357,0:05:19.587 ways of thinking. 0:05:19.587,0:05:22.987 You can educate yourself, [br]you can help your loved ones 0:05:22.987,0:05:24.597 even if you do not understand 0:05:24.597,0:05:28.127 the full significance [br]of their gender identity. 0:05:28.127,0:05:30.987 Another thing is that [br]all non-binary people 0:05:30.987,0:05:34.877 have a different way of [br]expressing their identity, 0:05:34.877,0:05:36.767 that there are people who will undergo 0:05:36.767,0:05:38.747 medical transitions, [br]who will take hormones, 0:05:38.747,0:05:40.583 who will have surgeries [br]while others will not, 0:05:40.583,0:05:43.007 and that no matter how 0:05:43.007,0:05:45.123 we transition or not, 0:05:45.123,0:05:47.329 socially, medically, etc., 0:05:47.329,0:05:50.069 our identity remains legitimate, [br]it exists, 0:05:50.069,0:05:52.639 and there are a lot of us.