1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,358
Even if you don't understand,
you can always support and encourage us.

2
00:00:03,358 --> 00:00:06,324
Our identity is still recognized
and it exists.

3
00:00:09,117 --> 00:00:11,267
My name's Cami, I'm 22,
and I'm non-binary

4
00:00:11,267 --> 00:00:13,730
and I'm here to talk about non-binary.

5
00:00:13,730 --> 00:00:17,720
Non-binary is an umbrella term 
that includes all gender identities

6
00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:20,622
that aren't only male 
or only female.

7
00:00:20,622 --> 00:00:23,480
It can be agender so take away the "a",

8
00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:27,357
and it means genderless, is neutral,
or it can be all fluid identities,

9
00:00:27,357 --> 00:00:32,150
as if gender is a spectrum with 2 poles,
masculine and feminine.

10
00:00:32,150 --> 00:00:33,803
We can have a cursor that moves.

11
00:00:33,803 --> 00:00:39,288
Everyone who identifies as gender fluid,
demigender, pangender, etc.

12
00:00:39,288 --> 00:00:42,174
I never really identified with femininity.

13
00:00:42,174 --> 00:00:47,864
At 18, I already started asking myself
questions on my gender identity,

14
00:00:47,864 --> 00:00:51,959
and I met a trans guy,
who I was with for some time,

15
00:00:51,959 --> 00:00:56,127
and we put into words my identity, 
which is non-binary.

16
00:00:56,127 --> 00:00:59,100
I think it's because he had much more
information than me

17
00:00:59,100 --> 00:01:03,382
that he was able to help me find the words
about my identity.

18
00:01:03,382 --> 00:01:05,299
Gender identity is what we are.

19
00:01:05,299 --> 00:01:08,910
It is the gender we feel, 
we live with and experiment with.

20
00:01:08,910 --> 00:01:13,190
And gender expression
is what we let others see.

21
00:01:13,190 --> 00:01:16,198
It is the way we express our identity.

22
00:01:16,198 --> 00:01:17,921
We can have a gender identity

23
00:01:17,921 --> 00:01:21,860
for example, male:
we're a guy,

24
00:01:21,860 --> 00:01:22,736
and we'll have a gender expression

25
00:01:22,736 --> 00:01:26,950
that is feminine, with many labels
considered feminine in society.

26
00:01:26,950 --> 00:01:30,421
For example, Bilal Hassani is a man
with a feminine gender expression.

27
00:01:30,992 --> 00:01:34,867
I told my parents that I was non-binary

28
00:01:34,867 --> 00:01:37,782
and that I wanted to change my first name
at the same time.

29
00:01:37,782 --> 00:01:41,555
I was 20, so it was two years ago.

30
00:01:41,555 --> 00:01:43,308
My mom took it very well.

31
00:01:43,308 --> 00:01:46,737
She was already familiar 
with gender issues.

32
00:01:46,737 --> 00:01:49,379
She was very deconstructed to the idea
and very safe.

33
00:01:49,379 --> 00:01:50,706
I felt safe.

34
00:01:50,706 --> 00:01:52,934
With my dad, it was a bit delicate.

35
00:01:52,934 --> 00:01:57,836
I took more time to talk to him
and I didn't do it in person.

36
00:01:57,836 --> 00:02:01,430
I sent him a message
because it was simpler for me to handle.

37
00:02:01,430 --> 00:02:03,231
He reacted pretty well.

38
00:02:03,231 --> 00:02:06,674
He said he didn't understand everything
but he'll support me regardless

39
00:02:06,674 --> 00:02:09,478
and that this changes nothing,
that his love stays the same.

40
00:02:09,478 --> 00:02:14,477
For my grandmother, it was less obvious
because it's something farfetched to her.

41
00:02:14,477 --> 00:02:17,257
She grew up in the countryside.
Then, she moved to Paris.

42
00:02:17,257 --> 00:02:20,220
She lived with my grandfather
for 50 years.

43
00:02:20,220 --> 00:02:22,681
She lived in very 
cis heteronormative societies.

44
00:02:22,681 --> 00:02:26,268
where she never questioned her identity
or the identity of others.

45
00:02:26,268 --> 00:02:28,718
When I talked to her,
she was a bit bewildered

46
00:02:28,718 --> 00:02:35,114
but she always looked out for me
and behaved her best with me.

47
00:02:35,114 --> 00:02:37,842
She makes a lot of effort
and almost never makes a mistake

48
00:02:37,842 --> 00:02:39,163
when using my first name.

49
00:02:39,163 --> 00:02:43,470
I requested to change my first name 
in 2019.

50
00:02:43,470 --> 00:02:48,446
I applied to the city hall where I lived.

51
00:02:48,446 --> 00:02:50,500
I filled out the folder

52
00:02:50,500 --> 00:02:52,729
with the testimonies
from my family and friends

53
00:02:52,729 --> 00:02:56,224
to state that they'll use the name Cami
to address me.

54
00:02:56,224 --> 00:03:00,517
I asked my school to write a letter
of support for me.

55
00:03:00,517 --> 00:03:01,989
Then, I submitted my folder.

56
00:03:01,989 --> 00:03:05,350
I waited several months.
It varies depending on the city hall.

57
00:03:05,350 --> 00:03:07,700
And I got approval 
to change my first name.

58
00:03:07,700 --> 00:03:08,757
Misgendering a person

59
00:03:08,757 --> 00:03:12,657
is to address this person 
with the wrong pronouns,

60
00:03:12,657 --> 00:03:15,229
so gendering a non-binary person

61
00:03:15,229 --> 00:03:20,360
who clearly said
to use neutral pronouns like "they/them"

62
00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:23,771
and to gender them as female or male.

63
00:03:23,771 --> 00:03:28,978
Personally, I use she/her pronouns
when speaking and they/them when writing.

64
00:03:28,978 --> 00:03:31,239
But it's true that in general,

65
00:03:31,239 --> 00:03:34,461
I tend to say immediately 
that I prefer others to address me

66
00:03:34,461 --> 00:03:36,414
with she/her pronouns when speaking.

67
00:03:36,414 --> 00:03:38,419
Later if the person doesn't do it

68
00:03:38,419 --> 00:03:42,491
and you would prefer
to be sure of their gender,

69
00:03:42,491 --> 00:03:44,737
you could ask for them
to specify their pronouns

70
00:03:44,737 --> 00:03:47,380
or wait until the person
uses their pronouns

71
00:03:47,380 --> 00:03:48,450
to respect their gender.

72
00:03:48,450 --> 00:03:51,234
With the other videos I did,

73
00:03:51,234 --> 00:03:55,432
there were a lot of comments
that belittled our identities,

74
00:03:55,432 --> 00:04:00,595
and denied our gender expressions
and gender identities.

75
00:04:00,595 --> 00:04:03,991
Afterwards, I hardly read these comments

76
00:04:03,991 --> 00:04:08,623
because I knew for the most part
they're malicious or very inconsiderate

77
00:04:08,623 --> 00:04:10,135
and they will only hurt me.

78
00:04:10,135 --> 00:04:12,349
I have already participated in a report

79
00:04:12,349 --> 00:04:15,294
where we could hear
that it was a fashion statement,

80
00:04:15,294 --> 00:04:19,363
that it appeared a few years ago
in the U.S., 10 years ago,

81
00:04:19,363 --> 00:04:24,395
and that it had to do with fashion,
unisex fashion, etc.

82
00:04:24,395 --> 00:04:25,601
This is completely false.

83
00:04:25,601 --> 00:04:32,679
I also think that it's an extremely white
and Eurocentric point of view

84
00:04:32,679 --> 00:04:37,298
because in many cultures
we find many gender identities

85
00:04:37,298 --> 00:04:41,840
that were completely erased
during colonization.

86
00:04:41,840 --> 00:04:44,600
Often we hear that it's problematic,

87
00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:47,911
it's annoying to create labels
and more and more labels

88
00:04:47,911 --> 00:04:49,740
to identify and reidentify, etc.

89
00:04:49,740 --> 00:04:55,930
but I think it is especially crucial
to first identify with something

90
00:04:55,930 --> 00:04:59,122
in order to dissociate with an identity 
that was assigned to us randomly.

91
00:04:59,122 --> 00:05:02,342
I think it's necessary
to also find a community

92
00:05:02,342 --> 00:05:04,573
to create bonds,
to know that we're not alone,

93
00:05:04,573 --> 00:05:07,640
that there is support,
and that there are others like us

94
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:09,318
that understand us,
and who listens.

95
00:05:09,318 --> 00:05:10,800
If I could say one thing,

96
00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:13,560
I think it would be that
even though you don't understand

97
00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:16,900
you can always support and encourage us.

98
00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:19,602
You can learn,
you can deconstruct patterns of thinking.

99
00:05:19,602 --> 00:05:23,210
You can find out more information,
you can help your loved ones,

100
00:05:23,210 --> 00:05:28,168
even if you don't understand
the range of their gender identity.

101
00:05:28,168 --> 00:05:31,150
Secondly, all non-binary people

102
00:05:31,150 --> 00:05:34,588
have a different way
of expressing their identity,

103
00:05:34,588 --> 00:05:37,623
there are people
who will do medical transitions,

104
00:05:37,623 --> 00:05:40,387
who will take hormones and do operations
while others won't

105
00:05:40,387 --> 00:05:47,313
and no matter the way we transition or not
socially, medically, etc.

106
00:05:47,313 --> 00:05:50,800
Our identity is still recognized
and it exists

107
00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:52,648
and there are many, many of us.