WEBVTT

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Even if you don't understand,
you can always support and encourage us.

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Our identity is still recognized
and it exists.

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My name's Cami, I'm 22,
and I'm non-binary

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and I'm here to talk about non-binary.

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Non-binary is an umbrella term 
that includes all gender identities

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that aren't only male 
or only female.

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It can be agender so take away the "a",

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and it means genderless, is neutral,
or it can be all fluid identities,

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as if gender is a spectrum with 2 poles,
masculine and feminine.

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We can have a cursor that moves.

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Everyone who identifies as gender fluid,
demigender, pangender, etc.

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I never really identified with femininity.

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At 18, I already started asking myself
questions on my gender identity,

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and I met a trans guy,
who I was with for some time,

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and we put into words my identity, 
which is non-binary.

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I think it's because he had much more
information than me

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that he was able to help me find the words
about my identity.

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Gender identity is what we are.

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It is the gender we feel, 
we live with and experiment with.

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And gender expression
is what we let others see.

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It is the way we express our identity.

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We can have a gender identity

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for example, male:
we're a guy,

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and we'll have a gender expression

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that is feminine, with many labels
considered feminine in society.

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For example, Bilal Hassani is a man
with a feminine gender expression.

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I told my parents that I was non-binary

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and that I wanted to change my first name
at the same time.

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I was 20, so it was two years ago.

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My mom took it very well.

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She was already familiar 
with gender issues.

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She was very deconstructed to the idea
and very safe.

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I felt safe.

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With my dad, it was a bit delicate.

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I took more time to talk to him
and I didn't do it in person.

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I sent him a message
because it was simpler for me to handle.

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He reacted pretty well.

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He said he didn't understand everything
but he'll support me regardless

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and that this changes nothing,
that his love stays the same.

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For my grandmother, it was less obvious
because it's something farfetched to her.

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She grew up in the countryside.
Then, she moved to Paris.

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She lived with my grandfather
for 50 years.

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She lived in very 
cis heteronormative societies.

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where she never questioned her identity
or the identity of others.

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When I talked to her,
she was a bit bewildered

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but she always looked out for me
and behaved her best with me.

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She makes a lot of effort
and almost never makes a mistake

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when using my first name.

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I requested to change my first name 
in 2019.

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I applied to the city hall where I lived.

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I filled out the folder

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with the testimonies
from my family and friends

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to state that they'll use the name Cami
to address me.

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I asked my school to write a letter
of support for me.

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Then, I submitted my folder.

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I waited several months.
It varies depending on the city hall.

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And I got approval 
to change my first name.

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Misgendering a person

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is to address this person 
with the wrong pronouns,

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so gendering a non-binary person

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who clearly said
to use neutral pronouns like "they/them"

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and to gender them as female or male.

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Personally, I use she/her pronouns
when speaking and they/them when writing.

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But it's true that in general,

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I tend to say immediately 
that I prefer others to address me

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with she/her pronouns when speaking.

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Later if the person doesn't do it

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and you would prefer
to be sure of their gender,

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you could ask for them
to specify their pronouns

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or wait until the person
uses their pronouns

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to respect their gender.

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With the other videos I did,

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there were a lot of comments
that belittled our identities,

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and denied our gender expressions
and gender identities.

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Afterwards, I hardly read these comments

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because I knew for the most part
they're malicious or very inconsiderate

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and they will only hurt me.

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I have already participated in a report

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where we could hear
that it was a fashion statement,

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that it appeared a few years ago
in the U.S., 10 years ago,

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and that it had to do with fashion,
unisex fashion, etc.

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This is completely false.

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I also think that it's an extremely white
and Eurocentric point of view

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because in many cultures
we find many gender identities

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that were completely erased
during colonization.

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Often we hear that it's problematic,

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it's annoying to create labels
and more and more labels

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to identify and reidentify, etc.

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but I think it is especially crucial
to first identify with something

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in order to dissociate with an identity 
that was assigned to us randomly.

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I think it's necessary
to also find a community

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to create bonds,
to know that we're not alone,

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that there is support,
and that there are others like us

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that understand us,
and who listens.

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If I could say one thing,

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I think it would be that
even though you don't understand

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you can always support and encourage us.

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You can learn,
you can deconstruct patterns of thinking.

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You can find out more information,
you can help your loved ones,

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even if you don't understand
the range of their gender identity.

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Secondly, all non-binary people

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have a different way
of expressing their identity,

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there are people
who will do medical transitions,

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who will take hormones and do operations
while others won't

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and no matter the way we transition or not
socially, medically, etc.

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Our identity is still recognized
and it exists

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and there are many, many of us.