0:00:00.000,0:00:01.530 Even if you don't understand, 0:00:01.530,0:00:03.566 you can always support and accompany us. 0:00:03.566,0:00:06.466 Our identity, it is real[br]and it exists. 0:00:06.466,0:00:09.316 [Non-binary stories] 0:00:09.316,0:00:11.555 My name is Cami, I am 22, I am non-binary 0:00:11.555,0:00:13.191 and I'm here to talk about [br]non-binary identities. 0:00:13.199,0:00:14.944 Non-binary, it's an umbrella term 0:00:14.944,0:00:17.435 which covers all gender identities 0:00:17.435,0:00:19.377 that are not exclusively male 0:00:19.377,0:00:20.891 or exclusively female. 0:00:20.891,0:00:23.548 It could be agender, so "a", [br]the subtraction 0:00:23.548,0:00:25.230 is no gender, which is neutral 0:00:25.230,0:00:27.893 or it could be all the fluid identites, 0:00:27.893,0:00:30.985 like if we imagine gender as a spectrum[br]with two sides 0:00:30.985,0:00:32.074 male and female 0:00:32.074,0:00:34.497 We can have a cursor that moves [br]along the spectrum 0:00:34.497,0:00:39.067 People who are gender fluid, demigender, [br]pangender, etc. 0:00:39.189,0:00:42.025 I never really identified feminine. 0:00:42.025,0:00:47.889 At 18, I already started to ask myself[br]questions about my gender identity, 0:00:47.889,0:00:49.569 and I met a trans man, 0:00:49.569,0:00:51.865 who I was with for some time, 0:00:51.865,0:00:54.833 and we were able to put my identity into[br]words together, 0:00:54.833,0:00:56.672 which was non-binary 0:00:56.672,0:00:59.220 I think it was because he had a lot more [br]information than I did, 0:00:59.220,0:01:03.554 so he was able to help me find the words[br]concerning my identity. 0:01:03.554,0:01:05.548 Gender identity, it's who we are. 0:01:05.548,0:01:09.211 It's the gender we feel, that we live, [br]that we try out. 0:01:09.211,0:01:10.528 And the expression of gender, 0:01:10.528,0:01:13.344 it's what we're going to show others. 0:01:13.344,0:01:15.930 It's how we express this identity. 0:01:15.930,0:01:18.152 You can have a gender identity, 0:01:18.152,0:01:23.884 for example, male - you are a man, [br]and you'll have a female gender expression 0:01:23.884,0:01:26.272 with a lot of markers [br]considered feminine by society. 0:01:26.272,0:01:28.742 Like for example, Bilal Hassani, [br]who is a man 0:01:28.742,0:01:31.027 with a female gender expression. 0:01:31.027,0:01:34.999 I told my parents that I was non-binary 0:01:34.999,0:01:37.936 and that I wanted to change my first name[br]at the same time. 0:01:37.936,0:01:40.886 I was 20, [br]that was 2 years ago. 0:01:41.733,0:01:43.870 My mother took it really well. 0:01:43.870,0:01:47.047 She was already well versed [br]in gender issues. 0:01:47.047,0:01:49.575 She was deconstructed enough [br]and really safe. 0:01:49.575,0:01:50.535 I felt secure. 0:01:51.325,0:01:53.441 My father, it was a bit more delicate. 0:01:53.441,0:01:55.498 It took me longer to tell him, 0:01:55.498,0:01:58.275 and I didn't do it in person. 0:01:58.275,0:02:00.856 I sent him a message because [br]it was easier for me to manage. 0:02:00.856,0:02:02.165 and uhh 0:02:02.165,0:02:03.581 He reacted quite well. 0:02:03.581,0:02:04.736 He said he didn't fully understand, 0:02:04.736,0:02:06.852 but that in any case[br]he would be there to support me 0:02:06.852,0:02:08.242 and that it changed nothing for him, 0:02:08.242,0:02:09.664 that he loved me the same. 0:02:09.664,0:02:11.695 For my grandmother, [br]it was a bit less clear, 0:02:11.695,0:02:14.413 because it was something [br]far removed from her. 0:02:14.413,0:02:17.223 She grew up in the country. [br]Then she moved to Paris. 0:02:17.223,0:02:20.241 She lived with my grandfather[br]for 50 years. 0:02:20.241,0:02:22.554 She was in very [br]cis heteronormative patterns, 0:02:22.554,0:02:26.114 where she never questioned her identity[br]or the identity of others. 0:02:26.114,0:02:29.267 When I told her about it, [br]she was a bit taken aback, 0:02:29.267,0:02:35.104 but she has always been careful [br]to behave in the best possible way with me 0:02:35.104,0:02:37.458 She makes a huge effort, [br]she's hardly every wrong 0:02:37.458,0:02:39.203 in the use of my chosen name. 0:02:39.203,0:02:43.582 I applied for a first name change in 2019. 0:02:43.682,0:02:48.075 I applied with the town hall [br]of the city I lived in. 0:02:48.075,0:02:52.698 I withdrew a file that I filled out with [br]testimonials from my family and friends 0:02:52.698,0:02:56.176 to say they used the first name Cami[br]to address me. 0:02:56.696,0:03:00.328 I asked my school to write me [br]a letter of support, etc. 0:03:00.619,0:03:01.957 Then I submitted my application. 0:03:01.957,0:03:03.786 I waited a few months. 0:03:03.786,0:03:05.383 It varies according to the town hall. 0:03:05.383,0:03:07.673 And I was accepted [br]to change my first name. 0:03:07.673,0:03:12.731 Misgendering someone, means addressing [br]them using the wrong pronouns. 0:03:13.005,0:03:17.611 So to gender a non-binary person, [br]who explicitly said 0:03:17.611,0:03:20.610 use neutral pronouns, [br]like the pronoun "they", 0:03:20.610,0:03:23.597 and to then gender them female or male. 0:03:23.597,0:03:28.842 Me personally, I use the pronouns female [br]when spoken to and neutral when written. 0:03:29.402,0:03:31.219 But it's true that in general, 0:03:31.219,0:03:33.091 I have the tendency [br]to say them immediately, 0:03:33.091,0:03:37.099 because I prefer to be addressed[br]with female pronouns when spoken to. 0:03:37.099,0:03:38.963 After, if the person doesn't do it back 0:03:38.963,0:03:42.568 and that you want to be sure to [br]gender them correctly, 0:03:42.809,0:03:47.239 you can ask them their pronouns [br]or wait until they are gendered in front of you 0:03:47.239,0:03:48.550 to know their gender. 0:03:48.550,0:03:53.066 On the videos that I previously did, [br]there were a lot of comments 0:03:53.066,0:04:00.096 that invalidate our identities, that deny [br]our gender expressions and identities 0:04:00.541,0:04:04.063 After that, I don't read [br]these comments much. 0:04:04.063,0:04:08.753 Precisely because I know for the most part,[br]they are malicious or very, very clumsy, 0:04:08.753,0:04:10.077 and they're just going to [br]make me feel bad. 0:04:10.077,0:04:14.536 I once took part in a report [br]in which it was suggested 0:04:14.536,0:04:17.908 that it was just a trend,[br]that it showed up only a few years ago 0:04:17.908,0:04:19.920 in the US, 10 years ago, 0:04:19.920,0:04:24.537 that it really had something [br]to do with trends, unisex trends, etc. 0:04:24.537,0:04:27.348 That is completely not true, and [br]I also think that it's a 0:04:27.348,0:04:32.546 hyper-white and [br]hyper-Eurocentric perspective 0:04:32.744,0:04:37.094 because in a lot of cultures, [br]there are multiple gender identities, 0:04:37.094,0:04:41.094 that were completely erased, [br]by colonization. 0:04:41.117,0:04:44.918 Quite often, [br]we hear that it's problematic, 0:04:44.918,0:04:48.152 it's annoying to recreate to [br]boxes and more boxes 0:04:48.152,0:04:49.912 to identity yourself, [br]reidentify yourself, etc., 0:04:49.929,0:04:51.863 but I think that it's really important 0:04:51.863,0:04:55.401 to be able to identify with something[br]in the first place, 0:04:55.401,0:04:59.055 to disidentify from an identity, [br]that was assigned to us arbitrarily. 0:04:59.055,0:05:02.581 I think that it's necessary [br]to come together as a community 0:05:02.581,0:05:04.579 to create connections, [br]to know we are not alone, 0:05:04.579,0:05:07.980 that there is support,[br]that there are other people like us, 0:05:07.980,0:05:09.064 who understand us, [br]who listen to us. 0:05:09.064,0:05:10.954 If I only had one thing to say, 0:05:11.164,0:05:13.592 I think it would be[br]even if you don't understand, 0:05:13.592,0:05:16.062 you can always support and accompany us. 0:05:16.062,0:05:19.572 You can learn, you can deconstruct[br]patterns of thought. 0:05:19.572,0:05:23.162 You can get information, [br]you can help your loved ones, 0:05:23.162,0:05:28.045 even if you don't understand the full [br]significance of their gender identity. 0:05:28.045,0:05:31.108 A second thing is that [br]all non-binary people 0:05:31.108,0:05:34.760 have a different way of [br]expressing their identity, 0:05:34.760,0:05:38.760 there will be people who will have[br]medical transitions, take hormones, 0:05:38.760,0:05:40.582 who will have operations, [br]others who won't, 0:05:40.582,0:05:45.062 and that it doesn't matter whether[br]we can transition or not, 0:05:45.062,0:05:47.186 socially, medically, etc. 0:05:47.186,0:05:49.729 Our identity is real, it exists 0:05:50.038,0:05:52.409 and there are a lot of us.